Baldness is a modern problem in our society. It’s a common issue mostly for men than women. The Czech Republic (42.79%), Spain (42.6%), and Germany (41%) are the top three countries with bald people in which men have either lost their hair or are currently losing their hair. Asian men have the luckiest genes in this aspect. In China, the number of bald people is incredibly low. Therefore, bald guy memes are not really a thing in Asia.
The reasons for going bald can make a long list. Still, it’s impossible to solve this physically (unless you’re willing to go to Turkey for a hair transplant), and there is no vaccine against a receding hairline. But we have 98 bald people jokes to morally support yourself or your loved one. That is the power of bald jokes and bald man memes.
When you accept your problem, you cannot be offended. Larry David is the perfect example. Not only is he a balding person, but he has quite the arsenal of funny bald head jokes, is able to make fun of himself, and soon turn it around towards the listener. That’s the problem with jokes about bald heads — they can reflect off of them.
If you are looking for a way to help your bald friend, look no further than the list below. If a joke raises some hairs on your head — be sure to upvote it and comment down below about the reaction you got after telling one of them.
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"Mommy, why is daddy bald?"
"It's because he thinks a lot sweetheart."
The kid stared at his mom for a minute and asked:
"Is that why you have a lot of hair?"
"The best thing about being tall and having a bald patch is that people think you're just tall."
"I first noticed I was going bald when it took longer and longer to wash my face."
Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there is your diamond in the rough.
The Rising of Shiny Bald Head Men - Hairless People in the History
We’ve all seen wigs being a fashion trend in late 16th to 18th century Europe and America. Important leaders and people in high positions, such as lords, judges, and even kings like Louis XIV of France, used wigs to conceal their hair loss. Ever since, we’ve all noticed that bald leaders and historical figures were generally known to have hair loss. We’ve grouped the first famous bald figures and world leaders for you.
1. Famous Bald Figures
Some well-known bald personalities from various fields include William Shakespeare, Charles Darwin, Napoleon, Aristotle, Mahatma Gandhi, Winston Churchill, and Hippocrates.
2. Bald World Political Leaders
Several powerful world leaders have embraced their baldness throughout history. Mikhail Gorbachev, Vladimir Lenin, Vladimir Putin, Nikita Khrushchev, Benito Mussolini, Winston Churchill, and Mao Zedong openly showed their hair loss.
3. First Bald American Presidents
Defining “bald” varies, but early American presidents like George Washington and John Quincy Adams had varying degrees of hair loss. Several other presidents, including Martin Van Buren, William Henry Harrison, John Tyler, and James K. Polk also experienced significant hair loss.
"I can't tell if I'm going bald... or if it's all in my head."
"I'm not saying you are going bald, but you'll find Waldo before you find your hairline."
"I was gonna make a joke about a bald guy's hair. But then I remembered there was nothing to joke about."
"My friend's been losing his hair and is really insecure about it, so I suggested he should get a transplant. He didn't go for it though - he thought he'd look stupid with a kidney on his head."
Is it Rare to Be Bald?
First things first, it’s not rare to be bald. In fact, it’s quite common, especially among men. According to Health Direct, 1 in 5 men in their 20s, and nearly 1 in every 2 men in their 40s go bald.
Reasons for Male Baldness (temporarily & permanently):
- Chemotherapy
- Tight hairstyles
- High Stress Levels
- Androgenetic Alopecia
- Age-Related Hair Thinning
- Genetic Factors like family history
- Autoimmune conditions & infections
- Hormone imbalances - Thyroid disorders
- Malnutrition, like severe deficiencies in iron, zinc, and biotin
"I wouldn't say I was going bald, but... When I asked my barber to cut my hair, he replied, 'Which one?'"
What’s the difference between a bald man and an egg?
Eggs get laid.
What did the intelligent man say when he saw that he was turning bald in patches? He said that as he was a brainiac, his brain needed more space to expand!
My customer always tells me Losing hair and gaining weight when I ask how he is & I keep telling him that🤣🤣🤣
What is the best way to irritate a guy with a receding hairline who also has a thick beard? Simply ask him, "Why is your hair cut upside down?"
"I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head because from a distance, they looked like hares."
"My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. For some reason, she woke up bald and with a bad attitude."
What Are Some Sayings About Bald People?
“Don't tear your hair out over a woman; it'll be harder to attract the next one if you're bald,” by Evan Esar.
“I love bald men. Just because you've lost your fuzz, it doesn't mean you ain't a peach,” by Dolly Parton.
A man is usually bald four or five years before he knows it,” by Edgar Watson Howe.
“See, I was fine being bald, because I have a good-shaped head,” by Brian Urlacher.
“I bet the reason people are afraid of going bald is because it makes them think of the end of life. I mean, when your hair starts to thin, it must feel as if your life is being worn away ... as if you've taken a giant step in the direction of death, the last Big Consumption,” by Haruki Murakami.
What do you call a barber that only works on bald people?
An air stylist.
"My girlfriend introduced our new baby to my friends, 'Look at those chubby cheeks and bald head', she said. I said, 'Thanks, but we're here to talk about the baby.'"
"My girl is so insecure... Even though she doesn't find any hair on my clothes she still be like 'Who's the bald chick?!'
3 wives want to decide what to wear.
The first one says, "My husband has black hair so I will wear a black dress."
The second one says, "My husband has grey hair so I will wear a grey dress."
The third wife, on hearing this starts panicking. When asked she tells the other two, "My husband is bald."
Why are so many thieves bald?
They dreadlocks.
Who is a Famous Bald Guy? 10 Famous Bald Celebrities
Baldness is not a choice for most men. Celebrities are humans, too. Regardless of many treatments, some can’t have their hair back. And for others, being bald is stylish and trending.
Gail Porter: “Bald is the new black!”
Telly Savalas: “We’re all born bald, baby.”
Larry David: “Women love a self-confident bald man.”
Gregg Wallace: “I’m the bald fat bloke off ‘MasterChef.”
Bruce Willis: “Hair loss is God’s way of telling me I’m human.”
Richelle E. Goodrich: “Anyone who looks good with a bald head is seriously sexy.”
Mackenzie Astin: “Have you noticed how most directors are either bald or gray-haired?”
Larry David: “Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.”
Dwayne Johnson: “I’m not bald because I went bald. I’m bald because my hair is a cross between an afro and hair from a Lama’s ball sac.”
Johnny Vegas: “Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.”
Why doesn’t the husband mind when his wife is leaving him due to his baldness?
Because it’s hair loss.
"After years of being bare, the idea of hair doesn't sound too bad. It's starting to grow on me."
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
What is the mantra that bald people live by?
"Getting bald has nothing to do with losing hair, but it has a lot about gaining more head."
Why Do Women Find Shaved Head Men Attractive?
Often, men going bald worry about having a future partner because good, healthy hair leads them to think of themselves as handsome young men. If women deem hair loss as a loss of youth, it might be a problem. Still, if women find bald men attractive is more of a matter of personal choice. There’s no set-in-stone answer for this.
Skull Shaver’s research in 2023 surveyed 1,000 women, in which 87.5% find bald men attractive, and the rest (12.5%) responded negatively. Noteworthy statistics from the survey:
- 46.2% of women prefer a confident man (bald or not, it doesn’t matter)
- 36.8% recommended growing a nice beard (if you’re bald)
- 12.7% of women would go for someone with a fit and masculine body
- 10% of women recommend adding tattoos to rock a bald look
- 8.8% think a good style will make a bald man look attractive
- 6.4% of women think bald men are attractive and sexy by just being bald
To wrap this up, women do not prioritize a man’s hair when deciding to date a bald guy. Your personality, confidence, your personal style, and maybe tattoos will turn the cards in your favor.
What's worse than finding hair in your food?
Finding out the chef is bald.
"My luck is like a bald guy... who just won a comb"
A balding, middle-aged man asked his barber, why he charged him the full price for cutting his hair — there's so little of it.
"Well, I actually only charge a little for cutting it. What you're paying for is my search for it" - said the barber.
"I want to change my hair like everybody during this quarantine. I think I'll grow my bald spot out!"
"I told this girl that people often tell me I could be Arnold Schwarzenegger's twin. 'I don't think so', she laughed, 'You're fat, bald, don't work out, and are much too short!' I said, 'I know, Danny DeVito.'"
What kind of bird doesn't need a comb?
A bald eagle.
When people make snarky comments about losing your hair, say, "With a body like this, who needs hair?"
What did my sister tell me when I became bald?
"Jack, you are so bald that even Bob, the builder can't fix it for you."
What did my wife say when I was going bald?
"Your head is so shiny that I can use it as a mirror."
What is the funniest thing you can say to a bald man?
"You are so bald that I can simply rub your head and start predicting futures!"
"Nobody wants to be alone. A recently divorced friend of mine is hopeful of once again finding romance. Beer belly, completely bald. I don't like her chances."
"Doctor, doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in?"
"Yes, here is a paper bag!"
"I like playing chess with bald people in the park. The problem is, it's kinda hard to find 32 of them."
What did the balding thief say in the wig store?
"Toupée or not toupée?"
What do diarrhea and baldness have in common?
They both run in your genes.
"People with hairless heads have problems. You cannot pretend that the hair you find in food is your own."
Imagine having a head that resembles a brand-new pot!
What did my bald brother say when I gave him a comb as a gift?
"Thanks. I will never ever part with this comb."
Why does a bald man always wake up happy?
Because a man who has an extended forehead looks good!
"I am not saying you're losing your hair, but the lice on your head are starting to picket about deforestation."
What is one clever reply when someone says you’re balding?
"Wow, you noticed, huh, Sherlock? Thanks for telling me, I had no idea! What other gems of knowledge do you have for us today?"
"I was fed up with people laughing at me for being bald, so I went out and bought a hairpiece. It was a small-price toupee."
A man travels to an island. A person traveling remarks on how healthy the locals look, and an attractive man says, "Yes, it's the island. When I first arrived I was bald, didn't have teeth, and couldn't walk - but now look at me." The traveler said, "Wow... That's amazing. So where are you from?" "I was born here", he answered.
Bald people struggle with improvement. They can't seem to come up with anything off the top of their head.
What will Prince Harry do if he starts going bald?
He'll wear a raspberry toupee.
Bald men are meant to be more virile. The problem is they never get the chance to prove it.
Why do women trust bald men more than normal men?
Because bald men have nothing to hide!
What did the barber say to the bald person when he entered the salon?
"Hey, what are you doing hair?"
Why is it so easy to guess what a bald guy is going to say?
Because you can literally see what's on their mind!
How do you compare a bald man's head to one of the greatest tourist places on earth?
"Your hair has so many valleys and creeks that it looks like the Grand Canyon."
What do you say to an annoying bald person?
"Do you know that hair is dead, so that means your head is basically a corpse?"
What is the coolest way to roast a guy who is going bald? Simply say, "Hey, if you wear a turtleneck shirt you will most definitely look like a roll on deodorant."
What do you say to a bald guy if he is always annoying you?
"I am going to need binoculars to look at your hair."
You are so bald, the reflection of your head is blinding people on another side of the world.
When my close friend was losing his battle against cancer, he used to stroke his completely bald head and say "you see? hair does not have to be thick to be pretty". I miss him.
When my close friend was losing his battle against cancer, he used to stroke his completely bald head and say "you see? hair does not have to be thick to be pretty". I miss him.
