Whether it be bumping into an ex, farting at a funeral, or asking somebody when they're due when they're not even pregnant, we've all found ourselves in awkward situations at some point in our lives. But there's awkward, and then there's awkward, and as you can see from this cringeworthy list compiled by Bored Panda, some folks take it to a whole new level. Whether they're accidentally asking shop assistants for strap-ons, or walking into the house of somebody they don't know and catching them mid-coitus, the stories below will make you laugh, and they'll also (hopefully) make your own awkward encounters seem a little less embarrassing. Don't forget to vote for your favorite!
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did you come out of the closet afterwards and sued them for not hiring you because of your sexuality?
"Ah, yes! I allways enjoy a good closet trick" Peter Sellers aka Chief inspector Clouseau
As a trainee I worked in the congress of my country. We made a big crowd in a corridor when a congressman accidentally stepped on one of my feet and apologized. I wanted to be funny, smiled and said: "It has been such an honor." He gave me a weird gaze, nodded and walked away.
i don't see the problem. the other person is obviously for a new coat. just make him a offer.
he can't refuse. Something something horse... :D
Load More Replies...Ummm..well, you know what this means for you two... giphy-1-59...7a57ec.gif
In my opinion, there is nothing shameful in this.Since any person can make mistakes.This is a mistake that is not so global as to ruin your life.But on the contrary instructive It teaches a person to be more attentive next time.And we can say that this applies not only to this case, because this quality is necessary in any situation.I would advise you not to be ashamed of this incident, but to consider this case as a life experience.Since people learn from mistakes.Perhaps in the future, thanks to this experience, you will be able to positively influence your life.
The boy who was trying on the hat was also in this situation.
Don't feel bad. I was that boy, and now I'm the CEO of a major logging company. ;)
In 'Junior High', there was a group of 3 horrible kids who made fun of my sister and her best friend relentlessly. It was a HUGE girl, her freckled, red-headed brother, and a boy who had a nose as big as Chicago. We NEVER made fun of them for any reason, but they tore us apart every day...when my sister left for high school, I was still left with the horrible kids, who now attacked ME every day! One day, on the bus, the friend kept tapping me on the shoulder, telling me how "beautiful" i was, and would I go out on a date with him (he was NOT complimenting me!) I finally had enough, and turned to him, and yelled out, for EVERYONE to hear... " STOP IT!!! Or one day, I might just say "yes", and then YOU'LL BE STUCK WITH ME!!!" Dead silence. Then rolling in the aisle laughter from the horribles. I am 63 now. I will NEVER forget that moment for as long as I live! :(
Wow! Wth? He must've really liked you to had gotten jealous of a tree.
I was standing in front of a store in a mall, wearing a long pink peasant dress, when a woman walked up to me and started feeling my dress, and looking at the hem. I asked her if I could help her with something, and she nearly collapsed. She said I was standing there so still, she thought I was a mannequin. I kept moving around after that...
Well at least when the mannequin revolution comes you’ll be spared for being polite
ahahahahaha what a funny situation. In fact, I've also met mannequins that look very much like people. and it's very scary. I am one of those people who are afraid of mannequins and dolls. and I think this is normal. more recently, I found out that there is even a disease called pediophobia. I became very interested in why this is happening and I started looking for information. The natural reaction of the psyche to an artificial person provokes anxiety, distrust, increased alertness and fear. This is a biological reaction, laid down on an instinctive level, signaling that the object is not like all people, it can carry danger or at least unknown. But pediophobia mostly originates in childhood when we have a situation that has negatively affected us.
well at least only you and the mannequin knew...until now that is LOL
You my dear are some kinda special! I am bi-polar and it was so real to me and funny i had to read it in three parts i was laughing so hard
However, had you not shared this no one but you and the cat would have known.
I have a weird knock in the engine and am always asked to repete order. I have started to just turn off car. One employee told me "you can't park there,its our drivethru
That reminds me of when you drive up and they will say, "Can you hold just a minute please?" Then while you're waiting for them to come back to you, the person starts yelling, "CAN I HELP YOU?!" like they didn't even tell you to wait a minute to begin with.
Could be that they were just changing shifts or something, and another person was serving you :P
Load More Replies...Definitely your girlfriend has a complicated character that needs to be corrected 😁
Who has a wine and cheese night on Halloween, time for some new friends
Her. The person dressed up is a woman. It even shows her name.
Load More Replies...Epic.One day i was leaving a store and my husband was walking way in front of me So Im looking around and This guy says"Oh there's your dad over there and it was my husband.I thought it was funny especially when I got to tell him Hey that guy thought you are my dad.epic
Jew you really think it's acceptable to make that joke XD
Load More Replies...OMG... I'm laughing so hard.... this is so amazing and awful in the same time.
That is probably the funniest (and best) comeback I've ever read!
And then you have to stand there in the line and suffer the embarrasment. You can't even really walk away lol
I remember this story! The Bloggess is Jenny Lawson and she is a national treasure! Look her up, you won't be disappointed! :-D
At least you both have dirt on each other so noone can tell ;)
Although for the teacher it might have much worse consequences.
Load More Replies...Reminds me of when I was younger and went to a strip club to see some friends who were boxing there that night and I saw one of the pastors wife there with some friends of hers. I yelled to her not realizing that she was very embarrassed to see me because I was in the youth department and she taught bible lessons sometime LOL I was 16
Mutual assured destruction! Neither one of you can incriminate the other without incriminating yourself 😁
The situation is quite comical , I think everyone who got into such a situation no longer cheated .it seems to me that everyone who has a boss has got into such a story .Well, or who is the boss. The situation is really funny. As for me, people often meet people who should be avoided for one reason or another. It 's still good that they understood their student .Dispersed in peace, let's say. I wish you good luck not to get into such situations anymore!
I was picking up my friends car from a car park. Someone soon brought the car. She had left money in the glove compartment so I climbed into the passenger seat, opened the glove compartment, didn't see the money and started tossing stuff out if it. Suddenly I look up and there's a man staring at me from behind the steering wheel. Yeah... Wrong car.
I once started loading groceries into the wrong car while the owner was right behind me ._.
this happen to my gf once i was waiting her. she just open the door of the car behind me
Same happened to my mum. My dad waited for ages for her to get into their car LOL!
Load More Replies...I've done that. They had a bunch of stuff on the passenger seat that I proceeded to move so that I could take a seat. The guy just looked at me and said "WTF are you doing?". So embarrassing.
We all done with the little phone call, hmm? Now would you please get the f**k out of my car Thank you
Or worse, drive off with her in the car and take her to an unknown location. Luckily he did the right thing and told her to get out haha!
Load More Replies...FRIEND: Hey, can you check your phone for the weather? I heard it's gonna rain. ME: Not according to my bush. FRIEND: What the... *calls 911*
I read this to a co-worker and we could barely breath at the "ARE YOU F*****G SORRY" part LMFAO!
Load More Replies...I once was at a food stand and mixed up asking for a large coke with a large pop --- came out as 'large c**k' - frantically turned to my sister for help and she was smirking and backing away.
lmaooo I'm in tears, trying my best to be quiet. I'm at work (office)
God damn it, I'm an xray tech in a quiet O.R. room right now reading this and am trying my best not to burst out laughing! A few snorts have already escaped and my red face is giving me away.
man, the soccer one of "ARE YOU F*****G SORRY" had me in tears 😂. Took me about 30 mins to calm down to finally tell my asking hubby what's so funny...
Busted out laughing...can't be much worse than me introducing my son's bone marrow donor to about 150 members of our community at a community party I was throwing to thank everyone for helping us when my son was sick. I'm on the stage, my son's donor next to me, and was trying to say, This is my son's donor, Barry. Instead i said, this is my son's Boner, Darry.
You screwed up twice then, you just left the guy there to think you were a B***h.
In my opinion, it was wrong on your part. As it would be necessary to apologize because it was your mistake. In this case, the man might think the wrong thing. And perhaps he was looking for problems in himself. After all, a person cannot just run away. I think you yourself perfectly understand. And I hope you took a lesson from this for yourself and analyzed your actions. After all, we must be responsible for each of our actions. I hope in the future you will be able to use this experience.
Dude yelling that at your mum is embarrassing enough, time to move out f the basement
"A comment that has more likes than the actual post" (I have been waiting a long time to post this. now i can die peacefully)
Load More Replies...The real embarrassing point here is that you don't even seem to notice how you are exposing yourself as this real spoiled prick with no manners that you are.
I'm guessing that grilling your own cheese is way beyond your abilities.
Well... Maybe he/she is 12... Age is not included...
Load More Replies...Get up and go make your own food. Make some for your mum as well.
I'd ignore my child too if I was at home and was spoken to like that. Nothing wrong with using P's and Q's at any age or family member.
Well perhaps that will teach you not to be such a demanding little sh!t ...
if she was actually pregnant.........
Load More Replies...Wow , so the author is one of those who often speaks faster than he thinks .But as for me, it's very nice. We all often say something like that.Sometimes you say something to someone, for example, and only then you realize what you said. The most interesting thing is that then you feel awkward and remember about it for a long time. although the person probably didn't even attach any importance to this. We 're all the same .If you get into this situation again , tell me here .You're the one who lifted my spirits. Have a nice day!
good Wife. And i will forever refer to every baby animal as ___ kittens!
I had a similar experience. While driving through the Australian outback I was supposed to be watching for kangaroos feeding at night by the highway. When I saw our headlights reflected in their eyes I shouted.....lights, blinking lights, head lights, sheep, sheep s**t. Oh gosh by then we were well past them. We were laughing so hard... I just couldn't get it out the right way.
Oh that's adorable. I'm going to refer to baby horses as "horse kittens" next time I read to my granddaughters!
Little boy logic right here. Same thing happened to me when i was 10, and after a full school year of bullying the boy confessed his love for me in a huge note i passed to me... i was pissed. Ten year old me was like, "Why would making fun of me make me like you, you jerk?!?" I was brutal to him and had no regrets.
I would be wondering why Jesus requires clothing. I mean, can't the holy trinity see what you're doing all the time and when you're naked?
My biochemistry teacher once started a lesson with "on this course we'll be studing the metobolism of orgasms." Nobody else cought that. We stared at each other, both holding in laugh, 'till I told her, "that sounds extremely interesting."
I was listening to music and it just stopped at they moment, it was so akward...
I was having a good conversation with my old bus driver till she randomly stopped in front of a house that wasn't mine & said goodbye. She then clicks a button on her ear, turns my way and says "What?" and that's when I realized she was wearing a wireless ear hook mobile phone..... Hate those things
taking a picture under the stall in the womens restroom as a man. rip bruh.
Well, women are not the ones inside the stall so at least there's that
Load More Replies...Just walk out and say, Hey, I'm trans, law makers have forced me to use the bathroom of the sex I was born with, deal with it!
i once did this as a kid, girl in the boys bathroom. im a trans guy now tho so maybe that was foreshadowing
sing "they are taking the hobbits to isengard" to compensate the awakeness
Come on, he deserved that. Who would in their right minds name ther son like that....
Just yesterday, I found out that someone had named her children Hurricane and Tornado. I thought "Well, they're never going to get the p**s taken out of them, then..."
This could totaly happen to me! Those weird names given these days... O-o
As awkward as possible.I 'm just also one of those who sings in the shower .It's very embarrassing when someone notices it. Well, of course I don't wash the anthem of my country.And your neighbors are still those humorists. Cool ahahah. The funniest thing that I heard singing in the shower is songs from cartoons .If your neighbors are those who like to listen to them sing in the shower, ask them their favorite songs .And sing as much as you want .Thanks for the story, I laughed.Good luck in the "shower singing show"!
I've done that. The "let me speak to your manager", "Okay, hold please", come back to the line with a different accent.
try: are you sure, he's an a*****e and will not help you in any way
Load More Replies...I do that every Saturday at my office. It's a game I play with my coworkers. They get to pick the accent.
Got a call once from a solicitor I realized I didn't want to talk to...QUICK thinking on my part made me start to blurt out my sister's name (janice), but I realized I didn't want her involved (!!) so midway, I changed the pronounciation to an awkward "Jan...NYCE!" and followed with some sort of a hybrid Jamaican/British accent that exists nowhere on earth, and said I was the "babysitter". I'm lucky she didn't call the police on me! :(
To be fair that was wildly inappropriate for grandma to say and Im sure most people wouldnt know how to respond to that
Was out with another single friend for Valentine's and as we were walking around he said "at least I can say I went out with a blonde for Valentine's". I went "wow, cool, who is she?". It was me lol.
I have something similar, whenever I bump into furniture or whatever, I say "Ow" for them. Please don't ask I don't know why I do it.
ahahaha vital. I had a similar situation.This summer I dyed my hair blonde and still couldn't get used to it. Often people calling me a blonde shocked me. I was a brunette in my head. And they also began to confuse me with an Asian woman even more. I 'm just one of those who doesn 't look like their nationality .And after I dyed my hair , everyone thought I was Korean . Since Korean idols almost all dye their hair in bright colors and blonde. That's how I also felt like an idol from Korea.Now I 'm a brunette again and I 'm confused again , now I think I 'm a blonde . I think this saga will never end. thanks for the story. I would never remember my campaign story.
Do you know what the difference is between Big Foot and a smart blond? They got pictures of Big Foot, well played.
"Yes please, take this snotty brat, I've been trying to get rid of it for months. Here you go. Buh bye!!"
Load More Replies...Fun fact, so I had twin brothers and one of them proceeded to run off so I went off looking for them I run up to a kid in the cereal isle picked him up and said alright your coming with me no more running off took a minute to realize the screaming child was not my brother and his mother was trying to figure out why I was taking her child never been so embarrassed in my life
Fun fact. I was in the grocery store one time and I had twin brothers, one of them proceeded to run away I ran up to a random kid in the cereal isle and picked up saying your coming with me don't ever run off again then realized the kid screaming and crying was not my brother and his mom was trying to figure out why I was running off with her child never been so embarrassed in my life
Thats why I never ever assume a guy is hitting on me until he proposes
Oh I get it....You have to give your name so they can call you when it's ready....duuhhhh
Well, what a brilliant name for a sandwich.... I have a boyfriend... chicken, salsa and double bacon for two...
LOL! At least you weren't drunk, sitting in a trolley (shopping cart), with your friend pushing you, whilst you're both dying of drunken laughter and screaming! Yep, I've done that before; and security did absolutely nothing, but watch on
You got your ' fifteen minutes of fame' love it, own it, and have fun with it.
OMG..I was at the gas station the other day and saw this woman did it 5 times straight. I was laughing so hard.
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Load More Replies...I went into one in the evening..when you have to pay first. Payed, and drove away with no fuel.
I have done this. Don't know what the hell happened to my brain that day.
Kroger gas station said it was open, so I went to it... realized after I had put my card in that I was the only one at the station, the lights weren't on, and the pump wasn't even on.
Who gave you a negative vote like goodness people...
Load More Replies...It makes sense, have a friend that checks megan's law site before every date. Better safe than sorry.
I feel like if it was me I would find it pretty funny. But, everyone handles grief differently and that's ok. (I still think it's funny, though)
A two year old, whose daddy had died, told everyone at the wake that they could have his dad's car because he won't be needing it anymore.
I can really only see this happening if it's her go to phrase for turning down guys at bars or something. Like it's a reflex.
I guess because that isn't really something you say to a random person, but that also goes for saying "I am straight". Don't think anyone is trying to say anything bad about being gay.
Load More Replies...Aww! That's not on you- your parents should have been watching you more closely! LOL
to be fair, kids are wicked fast. they are like weeping angels but they are leaving instead of coming after you
Load More Replies...I've heard the same story from people who work in department stores--why children find it easier to use a public toilet, I don't know, but you are not alone.
This pretty much sums up why religion is an awful thing for humanity.
I feel more sorry for the kid who didn't get to enjoy waiting for Santa to bring presents
They don't miss it. They still get presents, Christmas dinner, new clothes and toys. The whole 9 yards. Also the satisfaction of knowing their parents worked hard for what they received. Can't miss something you never had.
Load More Replies...christmas is not a jewish holiday-it's a roman holiday for the birth of a god of theirs.
The "Satan" thing's not so far of, is it? I can't think of another thing quite as consumptionist! And what, if not consumption, is keeping us caught as it's slaves these days! We're brainwashed, so we don't see, but ... freedom, is not what capitalism is offering us!
Prove it. What year was the most important person in history born? Seeing as we know when ancient Greeks and Egyptians were born, this one will be easy.
Load More Replies...Just pretend you're British for the rest of your life... no problem.
A 10th grader only "thought" that they said something inappropriate and didn't realize what a penis is?
Yeah, sounds more like primary school level cluelessness
Load More Replies...Don't understand why should anybody feel uncomfortable. It's totally true anyway
You heard about Terente, a thief/criminal from the 20's Romania. https://ro.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terente
Actually, that's a meme, widely circulated on the internet. Yes, it is brilliant, but likely not this person's idea.
Load More Replies...Bahahaha! Yeah, I can imagine that's something he would do!
Load More Replies...That reminded me of an almost awkward situation I had, but I was saved by technology. I was taking the train home from work, and my home is near the very last station. So, as we get closer, the train gets emptier, but not really completely empty. I needed to fart, carefully tried to release it silently. I failed. However.... Looking around me, literally everyone was wearing earphones and either looked at their phones, or were asleep. Pheeeeew, what a relief.
I love when I'm walking through a crowd. I just keep walking, crop dusting as I go.
That reminds me of a story of somthing that happened last week... i was sitting next a guy i have liked for three and a half years and i was on my computer with my headphones in playing around and i clicked a farting soundboard and my headphones had gotten pulled out bc they got all tangled in my jacket and the guy picked up my jacket... then i clicked a fart sound and he said,"k, bye now. by the way you might want to check your pants" and then he left... i have not been able to even look at him since!
I was in a big departement store and the aisle was empty. And I needed to Take a big dump. So i said out loud. Damn I really need to take a big a*s sh*t. As I turned the aisle there where to workers looking at me like what the hell.
Were you at a job interview with your stepbrother at the time, wearing a tuxedo? LOL
on that note when i was a sophomore in history class we were given free time and i was playing an online game and the sound on my laptop was alllll the way up and i had neverr played it with the sound up, and so the opening noise of the game, which was a fart noise for some reason, blasted loud and long and everyone started laughing and i wanted to crawl into a hole and die
Yeah. I think schools should start being more open n accepting about it and tell kids that it's ok if that happens... positive reinforcement
Load More Replies...Exact same thing happened with someone in my school in biology! Or maybe we attended the same school? Periods come at the worst times! :(
Didn't notice mine till I got home from school. Who knows when it started. I feel your pain. I am sure a lot of us do!
Like 8 years back or something i had an exam and just before i finished it my lower belly started to hurt like hell (i was on my period, so i knew why it hurt) so i finished the last tasks of my exam and left for the restroom. With horror i realised, that my jeans ware completely soaked with blood. I was mortified!!! At least it were black jeans and you could't really see it. But i did not want to go back to the classroom as i was horrified what my chair would look like. Had to go back anyway cause all my stuff was still in there. Turned out that apparently i was sitting right at the edge of the chair so there was no blood on it. I was so relieved! Grabbed my stuff and went home.
Oh man, same. When I was first getting my periods, I would bleed so much that I would sit on my foot to avoid getting blood on the seat, and it would get all over my shoe instead. It's definitely a rough time.
I went to 6 Flags, Great America in high school and apparently bled through my jeans. My mom took me to the bathroom and washed and blow dried my pants for me. But walk of shame to the bathroom.
I remember my first period! I was at home taking photos of my cat and my tummy starting hurting really bad. I ignored it and kept playing with her. About 30 minutes later I got super dizzy and went to the bathroom and discovered the horror. My sweats were soaked and I had to ask my dad to drive me to the store. It was extremely frightening.
Tiffany is absolutely right. If you get caught being weird, baby you OWN that weird. Revel in it. 100%.
Load More Replies...My boss had just hung up the phone with his wife and addressed me accidentally as "honey". Twas super awkward.
Years ago my girlfriends best friend called the house phone and I answered. Her and I had a quick 1min convo, and at the end I said "Yea, I will. Ok. Love you" and hung up. Then thought to myself F**K! LOL I was so used to me and my GF saying "love you" to each other every time we talked, it just slipped out. I called back to tell her it was an accident but she said she didn't even hear me say it anyway lol. We had a good laugh
Oooooo you can get prescription goggles now did u know? Not really that relevant but I thought the world should know
hes at a f*****g bar and his friend is avouis a adult
Load More Replies...Good that it wasn't a guy grabbing a gal - would have ended up on the sex offender list...
Did that once in 1963 and I was 8 months pregnant. I just turned and walked away!!
In my opinion, it was a very embarrassing situation. As for you and for him and your husband. I think it was very unexpected for a man. He could be married or not a tactile person. Or, on the contrary, draw the wrong conclusions from this. Therefore, I would like to advise you better not to get into the personal space of a person, even if it is your husband in public places. And leave such things at home in order to prevent such embarrassment any more. I hope you will take note of this.
"So to start off today's presentation, my friend and I came up with a short quiz for you. Question number one: what the f**k is rhubarb? Has anyone got an answer?"
Aaaalways shut down your e-mail before projecting your desktop. Ouch.
Just have to answer. Rubarb is a spice for thoughs who don't know
*those (not thoughs) and and rhubarb is a vegetable
Load More Replies...Everyone with a cat or a dog or a baby (or a guinea pig) has reenacted that scene
and what exactly are those words at the very beginningI always wondered cuz I wanna do that with my 30lb cat..fatass
Er...I dunno if complimenting a woman on her bra (which isn't even showing at the straps or cleavage!) is quite inappropriate to begin with!
The Little Golden Book 'Tootle' has the word queer in it. I have no issue using it with it's original meaning and happily read it to my children, but I wonder how many other parents buy it and then freak out.
Amputee's should understand that, people don't know what to do in moments like this, it's not like we run into people like them all the time and just automatically know what to do...
They do understand and they have polite ways to help the other person not feel embarrassed.
Load More Replies...This nearly happened to me before except the right arm amputee offered his left hand for the shake and I didn't know if I should still use my right hand or use my left too.
We were having an Open House in the library where I worked. I was supposed to welcome people in, tell them about our services, etc. Well, I am desperately socially awkward and had no clue on how to make people fell welcome. I decided that I would shake people's hands when they come in. And I had read that it's improper for a man to put his hand out to a woman, so I'll be forward and put my hand out first. First guy that comes in, I put out my hand. He doesn't reciprocate, I decided to just grab his hand to shake it. That's when I discovered that this man had a malformed, twisted, withered right hand. I tried to play it cool like it wasn't a big deal (and it shouldn't have been), but in my head I'm freaking out on whether I offended him. And there's no way that didn't show on my face.
Oh lord I did something similar once... In my freshman IT class was a quadriplegic guy with limited mobility - for instance he could clutch a pen to write but he couldn't move his fingers(this I found out later). As I was getting introduced to him I noticed no one else would touch him so I decided on a handshake to show him I'm not uncomfortable around him. Well let's just say I knew why no one went in for a handshake before me... He died a few years back, I saw it on the news since he later became famous in the Paralympic team of my country
no.... oof. Idk...I might have fist-bumped the stump... I guess you never know unless you're thrown into that situation.
My friend doesn't have his right hand, and I looove when he says hello to strangers, and to see their faces :D
Surely if you know the friend well enough to just walk in without knocking the door you'd know that they had moved house??
If this really was a friend how did you not know she had moved?!!! I think this story is made up.
In all fairness, you can't ask a kindergartner a point blank question like that and not expect a disarmingly honest answer.
Happened to me on the first day of a university class. Wasn't made aware of it until the end of roll call as my name comes up last or nearly last alphabetically. It was a small class so not too much embarrassment. It was worse walking into the correct class significantly late.
I walked into my classroom one day, excused myself for beeing late, not wondering why the classroom was so crowded, first looking up, when I arrived at my seat and it was taken. My class was a door further down the hallway and everybody just stared at me, the teacher with the biggest smile, telling me it was nice of me to join in... Everybody knew I was wrong from the second I opened the door, nobody said a word while I was making my way through the crowded room were no place was empty... I died a little inside while laughing outside..
I mean better to get it cleared up in the beginning rather than quietly sneak out mid lesson
Did this once...came an hour early to a class and I actually sat through it bc I was embarrassed to leave. Good thing was it was an amphitheatre and it was everyone's first year at uni so none the wiser
No, more likely he thought he was a half wit.
Load More Replies...I was in Hollister and felt like I was following a hot guy and actually said I'm not following you
You could just say that, that's the ringtone you use for everyone; and that it's your favourite song
I made my boss's ringtone "If i only had a brain" from the Wizard of Oz. :D
That's a magic wand massager . They're used for many things, not just getting off.
and they were invented to be a massager until people figuered that there's a 'better' use for it :)
Load More Replies...At least ask him before you put the picture on the internet??
Load More Replies...I actually did this once when the pain of a sinus infection was making me absolutely miserable. It helps the pain! LOL
"If grandma haunts us are we going to see her in bits and pieces or..." Said by me...to my mother after her mom's memorial service (she'd been cremated).
The teacher said beat itself off to death. In other words masturbate. The student then said that's how I want to go. Teacher thinking motor, student thinking masturbate. It went right over the teacher's head. Hilarious!
Load More Replies...Sounds like a sticky situation, but do go on, we are listening. Tell us how it got there.
Wow, you had that much pubic hair with 11? Sh's probably just proud... But still...
Seems like you weren’t being mean or insensitive …just kids repeating what they hear. In 7th grade there was a new girl at my school and we were talking…..trying to be funny, I responded to something with a “your mom”. She then informed me that she and her mother had been in a fatal car accident a few months before and she was now living with her grandparents 🤦🏼♀️ Thankfully, she’s a kind old soul and we are still friends over 30 years later.
I don't think it was anti semitic, sometimes because just say really silly thing because they associate it with something else, doesn't mean they mean it!
I was going to add a story when I passed a paper to another girl in class when I was around 10 that said "She really smells. She smells of fish." That was about another girl next to me. The teacher took the note and immediately assumed it was racist (the girl was Black) even though it had no reference to her skin colour. I was also sent to a counsellor and my parents were called and my mum told me "But I don't understand, we never taught you anything like that..." It was so, so embarrassing, and I genuinely didn't mean anything by it.
Load More Replies...Way to clear the pool. Reminds me of this classic scene from Caddy Shack. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPxiXGr9nFM
Once at school I saw my teacher with a pile of books climbing the stairs to get to the 3rd floor since the elevator was broken, for the look in her face I was sure she was going to sneeze, I said 'Bless you' very loud. She never sneezed.
"No, thank YOU" ..... "for allowing us to be here for you in this sad, troubling time". Crisis averted.
At the funeral for my best friend's father, I walked up to his sister and as I shook her hand said, "You must be [deceased man's] mother." I knew the instant I said it that I was wrong, and I felt like the world's biggest idiot. Still do, when I think about it.
I guess in times like that, we don't really think of what to say; and we're too focused on trying to do our best to be there for the grieving family.
To my knowledge, only Americans do this. Why???? It must stink from leaving them around to fester. Don't you have tissues in your country?
Or at least have a washing machine to clean your damned cum socks...
Load More Replies...Can we take a moment to appreciate that his name is whistledick?...
guuuunnnnaaaa vooooooomiiiiiiit.There are things called trash receptacles.
way to mess with their little minds. when you see them in a few months, yell "happy halloween!"
we were in a restaurant and my step dad said something to the waitress and called her by name. she freaked out and almost ran away as she screamed, "how did you know my name?!". he took a step back and very kindly replied "nametag".
I been doing that for decades. If you really want to have fun with a waitress, ask her how her Father is too. People don't want to admit they don't know you, a lot of the time they answer the question trying to remember you, LMAO.
Load More Replies...Preparation H is supposed to help with bags under the eyes but is made to help with hemerroids
Load More Replies...normally Preparation H is a hemorrhoid gel, it shrinks them, but it IS good for getting rid of eye bags, just don't get it in your eyes.
you were 5. i have had so many kids grab my hand, shirt, my leg or whatever only to realize i wasn't their momma.
oh that's nothing, I once mistook a strange, not-too-clean old guy for my at least 30 years younger than him boyfriend, and while talking to the old dude, casually, I held on to his arm as well..ahem. Realizing my mistake i let go of him and ran away, bf almost died of laughter
Oh honey, no. Save your embarrassment for the really messed up things you WILL do. We all do embarrassing things all the time. I hope you can forgive yourself for this little nothing, and forget all about it.
Use of punctuation hasn't markedly improved into those 14 years either.
My sister accidentally grabbed a man's hand in the grocery store that she thought was my mom.
He meant just mayo no lettuce/toppings not just mayo & bread
Load More Replies...I used to make ketchup sandwiches, as well as A-1 sauce sandwiches. You are not alone.
Try Miracle Whip and Peanut Butter, I'm totally serious about this.
Why is there a can of gravy next to a waffle maker in the first place????
No...go back and do it again loudly say "oh no i did it again!" Then laugh as loud as f*** as you leave...they will dismiss it as that girl is crazy and be ok with it
I once used the boys toilets at high school. I walked out, and to my horror, there was a guy standing outside, laughing at me. He turned me around to show me that I had not walked into the girls toilets. I was so embarassed!
In fifth grade while we were having our class Christmas party all of the boys were trying to make each other flinch and blink so I decided to do it to one boy named trey and I was going to do the one where you put one hand on their cheek and then swing your other hand as if to slap them but then hit your hand instead but trey was turning around at the same time I decided to do that and I only had time to put one hand on his cheek so it was like I was hitting on him I was so embarassed
once as a kid i meant to slam my hand down on a friends hand but stop just before actually hitting it but i just slammed down on his hand on the table w full force. will im sorry idk what made me do that ToT
Load More Replies...Sometimes it after I’ve been texting my friends I accidentally texted the messages that are meant for my dad and I will never leave it that was embarrassing moments down for the rest of my life
I was in a dvd store with my husband. I picked up a dvd and was looking at it while I walked up to hubby and held his hand. We stood like this for about a minute, when I looked up, I was holding hands with a complete stranger and he was just looking at me and smiling.
Then when he realised you had made a mistake and was there with someone already he became very sad.....
Load More Replies...S**t my pants at a boy scout camping trip, and so the other kids wouldn't know I ran out in the woods and I tossed the soiled undies. Was afraid I would freeze sleeping with no underwear so I wrapped myself in one of those tin foil emergency blankets. Woke up in a pool of sweat as I heard the rest of the scouts freak out because the scout masters dog went out in the woods and retrieved my s****y underwear and was going around tent to tent with s****y fruit of the looms in his mouth
I work for a wine company, selling wine to members over the phone. We sell other alcohol too and the conversation drifted to single malt scotches. Discussing the merits and prices of different aged scotches I managed to blurt out, "Any other 16 year olds I can interest you in?". I might have missed it but the room erupted. Eeep.
Once at school I saw my teacher with a pile of books climbing the stairs to get to the 3rd floor since the elevator was broken; for the look in her face I was sure she was going to sneeze, I said 'Bless you' very loud. She never sneezed
My gf and i went on a mini vacation to a college town on the southeastern coast. One evening we went bar hopping and settled on a spot in the middle of trivia night. We both were enjoying our drinks and competing between ourselves for giggles. A few minutes pass and a black gentleman in his 40s sits beside us (were white early thirties) we chit chat for a bit and he joins us in our personal trivia competition. A few beers later the question came up "who won the civil war? Team ones answer is: the coloreds" never sobered up faster in my life..
I was in a dvd store with my husband. I picked up a dvd and was looking at it while I walked up to hubby and held his hand. We stood like this for about a minute, when I looked up, I was holding hands with a complete stranger and he was just looking at me and smiling.
Then when he realised you had made a mistake and was there with someone already he became very sad.....
Load More Replies...S**t my pants at a boy scout camping trip, and so the other kids wouldn't know I ran out in the woods and I tossed the soiled undies. Was afraid I would freeze sleeping with no underwear so I wrapped myself in one of those tin foil emergency blankets. Woke up in a pool of sweat as I heard the rest of the scouts freak out because the scout masters dog went out in the woods and retrieved my s****y underwear and was going around tent to tent with s****y fruit of the looms in his mouth
I work for a wine company, selling wine to members over the phone. We sell other alcohol too and the conversation drifted to single malt scotches. Discussing the merits and prices of different aged scotches I managed to blurt out, "Any other 16 year olds I can interest you in?". I might have missed it but the room erupted. Eeep.
Once at school I saw my teacher with a pile of books climbing the stairs to get to the 3rd floor since the elevator was broken; for the look in her face I was sure she was going to sneeze, I said 'Bless you' very loud. She never sneezed
My gf and i went on a mini vacation to a college town on the southeastern coast. One evening we went bar hopping and settled on a spot in the middle of trivia night. We both were enjoying our drinks and competing between ourselves for giggles. A few minutes pass and a black gentleman in his 40s sits beside us (were white early thirties) we chit chat for a bit and he joins us in our personal trivia competition. A few beers later the question came up "who won the civil war? Team ones answer is: the coloreds" never sobered up faster in my life..
