“I Can’t ‘Just Give It A Go’”: 30 Pieces Of Advice That Fall Flat For People With ADHD

I had a boss who was very lovely and insisted I actually took my breaks. She did eventually learn that the best way was to remind me of the time, and let me finish up what I'm doing, but it took a long time to get her trained that I can't just drop everything, because I'd never get back into it.

This is painfully true, when I get into the flow of something and get told to just take a break you need to realise it may be literally years until I get into the vibe to attempt that task again

Yes

Yep me.

OMG I RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH IM DYING 😂🤣

As long as I have a brain, I have distractions.

This, so much. If there are no tangible distractions, my brain will gladly offer some.

*laughs then gets distracted then resumes laughing*

Bold of you to assume I won't get distracted by literally ANY thing.

As q oarent of a kid (almost 23 now), this by itself is bad advice. Coupled with the advice on the bottom, it's good. Yes, doing all this is important, but so is being yourself. Curb the actions you don't want to express (volume, talking, etc) , but don't smother your personality.

Its all about balance. You have to be true to yourself but also be aware of the social structures in your surroundings.

Ah yes but then they don't like that actual self

I do need a clean workspace to function, but if it is not just right, that is almost worse. And then still, the out of site out of mind is real.

If my room is cluttered, I feel trapped and overwhelmed. If my room is 100% clean, I can't find literally anything

My son and husband's ADHD works exactly the opposite: once the workspace is too messy, it becomes one landscape without discrete parts. If you asked them to pick up and throw away the trash, they literally cannot recognize that a wrapper is garbage because their brains can no longer pick it out as an individual object. They need a home for everything so that they can return to where something is supposed to be in order to find it. And if it doesn't make it to the object's home, god help them find it.

I don't know what you mean by that. I have a system amongst my clutter.

Omg this!! My bedside table has stuff put all over it and my husband always wants to pick it up and organize it. I had to explain this. When it gets out away I forget or can't find it when I need it, but right now I know exactly where the smallest thing is even if it's half hidden by other stuff

I couldn't tell my son "clean your room", because that was too overwhelming. I literally had to list each task to be done separately. Pick up trash & throw away. Put dirty clothes in hamper. Put clean clothes in dresser. Etc. Took longer, but he didn't get overwhelmed , freeze up or freak out. A small break after 20-30 minutes helped, too.

I have ADD and general anxiety. The way I describe when i'm like this to my husband is, imagine something being pulled in so many directions is basically just vibrating there. That's how i feel.

Y'all don't understand how relevant this entire post is right now as I am sobbing because I just cant get people to understand. They believe i want this. That i have clutter and stuff because im ok with it. They will never understand.

To this day, when I fold laundry I am a machine. I fold and fold until I get to the last few mismatched sox and my wife's weirdly cut shirt (or whatever it is). I ground to a halt. For that reason, I buy sox in as big a pack as I can find (or I buy multiple packs of identical sox). For the shirts, I just have to ask my wife to take care of them. Is that a sleeve? A pant leg? Is it for people with three heads and five arms?

I tried to explain to my ex that shouting at me only made me shut down (underactivating in terms of the tolerance window. Which he mistook for "comfort zone" (eye roll) sigh)

Yep. As someone with adhd, when I finally start doing something, I LITERALLY CANNOT STOP until it’s over.

The only way that works is 'hacking' executive dysfunction where you're paralysed from how big the task seems. For some people, if they tell themself they'll do it for 5 mins and then they're allowed to stop, then once they're up and started, they'll probably end up doing the whole task.

"I'll clean the house" turns into, well I only cleaned the kitchen but I organized the shelves and detailed the cabinet doors.

I set a time for myself.. ie two hours of chores, an hour of exercise. I also work best in one hour blocks of time.

For me, the difference is whether I'm medicated or not. When I'm medicated I still struggle to get started, but once I do, I keep going. I can even manage to take breaks and then get going again. When I'm unmedicated I can't get started. If I manage to get going it becomes almost physically painful to keep doing whatever tasks I'm trying to accomplish. It's exhausting.

Self-regulating is SO HARD TO DO

Today i once again find myself vowing to not overshare at work. Dont talk sooo much. I am going to try.

This is me…. There is no perfect planner, either!

I can write down reminders and tasks to do iny planner, but where do I write down the reminder to check my planner?

To an ADHD person, "remember to put it in the planner" is its own task.

Buy a planner....make a to do list...which planner or which list do I start with then?

don't you just love the feeling of the ADHD leaving your body when someone tells you to buy a planner? /s

I made a habit of going to the gym for 1 & half years straight. Lost 18 Kgs, Felt awesome, and then I hit a weight loss plateau, lost my motivation & its been a year since that and I've gained 10 kgs back. I feel the worst. There is no consistency in ADHD. There is no forming a habit.

I’m autistic. I need routine, but creating new ones is virtually impossible (ADHD). I don’t deviate from my routines if I can help it, but often they’re bad ones (go home and procrastinate for several hours), and if I get off track from a good one (get ready for bed at 10:45) it’s not coming back (my poor sleep schedule…)

For me, there is no creating habits. Unless it's a bad one-

The forgetting I was in the habit is the hardest part. I can form habits, but it has to be accidently, usually do to circumstances I can't change. But then I wake up one day and have completely forgotten I had the habit and do something different, only I didn't realize it was different until I start doing whatever the old way was again due to the same circumstances. Then I think, I used to do it this way. Why did I change my habit? Then it's rinse and repeat. It's so annoying.

New habits for ADHD need to be born from existing behaviors. It doesn't matter what time they happen, and they don't even have to be every single day. For instance, one we've all done (I hope) is learn that using the toilet must be followed by washing your hands every time. Or every single time you're watching a show, you have to be productive during commercials. Make your own rules and "Pavlov" yourself. Eventually the pattern will become automatic. These things aren't constrained by rigid adherence to a clock, but to a behavioral pattern you're already familiar with. It's not perfect, but it helps.