30 “I Wish I Knew This Earlier” Blunt, Yet Honest Pieces Of Advice From 40+-Year-Olds
Interview
“You want to know the one truth I’ve learned in all my years? Life’s too hard to face sober.” – Octieve San, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
There, I helped! [smug face]
In all seriousness, getting advice is always helpful. Yes, it should be taken with a grain of salt, and not all advice is necessarily great or even decent. But even if it is crummy advice, it might just help put things into perspective, or give you a reason to laugh about it. So, win-win.
And maybe these tips from Reddit might be of use to you as older generations (everyone over 40) share the pearls of wisdom they’ve acquired throughout the years with the younger peeps of the internets.
More Info: Reddit
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I’m not quite 40, but my advice is: get the f**k off TikTok
That should be sound advice for anyone. It is dangerous, and kids haven't worked out the difference between common sense and wanting likes. Downvote as you wish, but TikTok should be removed.
40 isn't old
I just turned 38, and I am steady trying to pump the breaks every day. lol But, my older brother just turned 40 and he's out there climbing mountains and entering triathlons so...yeah, I guess you're really only as old as you feel.
Don't fall into the trap of thinking everyone else your age has something that you don't and you feel hopelessly behind and like a failure.
Once you're out of school, there are no timelines anymore. You are not supposed to do anything by any particular point in your life. Everyone is different.
You are not supposed to have had X number of sexual partners, had X number of relationships, be married, have a kid, own a house, have a dream job, or figure out your calling in life at any particular point - if at all.
Life is very long and you will have many chances to do things.
Make your own path.
Even when you're in school, all those timelines (not mistaken for the work deadlines.) are not made in stone. Some people graduate early, some at 18, some at 21 or older. There are people who've never graduated and get on better than someone who went to university. There is no real deadline in going back to school for anything. Your timeline is the time you're alive.
You're not special, no one cares what you do and the sooner you can accept it, the sooner you can be at peace with yourself.
Stretch everyday or at least more then never. Stay limber and flexible because once it is gone, it’s almost impossible to get it back.
Bored Panda got a chance to speak to one of the submitters in the original post, and that is u/unabtaniuam.
In their submission, unabtaniuam took a very zen approach to advice, pointing out a number of universal, yet spot-on truths: life is short, be grateful, and learn to live in the present for the past is a mere memory now and the future is only up to our imagination at this point.
They cap off their thoughts by saying that folks, instead of accepting negative self dialogue, ought to observe so as to learn from it. In turn, "you are braver than you believe, smarter than you think, stronger than you seem and loved more than you know."
You aren't going to get rich as an influencer or become a professional gamer. Get educated and get a job.
It’s okay and healthy to sit in silence. Put down your phone, leave your earphones in your pocket, and just be. It’s important to not constantly be stimulated.
Love a good quiet walk with the dog at 6am its so peaceful and quiet and i dont listen to music until my 6pm walk because thats so noisy
Don't cheap out on a mattress, pillows or shoes.
Cut back on the sugar.
Do NOT bring work home with you.
Yes to the sugar, I learnt the work thing by force and about to order a mattress lol
Cut s****y people out fast with a sharp knife. There are so many f*****g people on this planet, why give second chances? Also, family are friends you didn't get to decide to bring into your life, but should be held to the same expectations as non family members. So many toxic family members saying "but were family..."
In our interview with u/unabtaniuam, they elaborated that their advice comes from a difficult time, one that involved overcoming an addiction on their own.
"This is what helped me pull out of the lows in my life. I’ve always been pretty positive and had a deep understanding that there is more to life than the daily trivialities. Who helped? Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts and Ram Dass. Spiritual gurus and yogis."
Avoid "toxic positivity" people. Actually, try to avoid all toxic people, "toxic positivity" is just a bit harder to recognise. It is ok to be not in a mood sometimes.
Take photos around where you live; streets, buildings, forests, etc. Because everything will look different in 20 years.
Don’t waste time being the person other people think you should be, and instead be the person you want to be
Love life it is short. Be grateful for everything. The biggest burden you’ll carry are your own thoughts. Learn to live in the present, the past is just a memory and the future is just your imagination. You don’t have to accept the negative self dialogue, be the watcher of those thoughts and learn to let them go. You are braver than you believe, smarter than you think, stronger than you seem and loved more than you know.
Save your money
Yes, yes and yes...but don't hoard either. Enjoy life too, just be financially responsible.
u/unabtaniuam focuses on a number of themes in their original thought: life and death, the burdens of time, thoughts, and negativity, just to name a few. But, according to them, the key is here is to tackle the negative and the critical.
"The critical judge in your head does not tell the truth and it does not have your best interest at heart. Recognize it and don’t accept it."
This then ties in well with the idea of observing it and learning from it, all the while negating its influence over the mind.
Your dreams are not static. It's ok to decide the dream you had at 15 is no longer for you
I 1st wanted to be engineer at NASA - dream changed to patent lawyer to help small inventors - dream dissolved but what to do? Got a job at small law office, took the divorce & custody cases they didn't want & now have a successful family law practice. I love my job. So yes, let your life experiences modify your dreams. You'll never know where it takes you. No child or young adult says 'I want to be a divorce/custody lawyer' - but it's the most fulfilling career I would ever imagine
Don’t “wait to get in shape”
Start working out however is enjoyable to you so you avoid health risks later. Don’t wait to have to lose 30 lbs
Take care of your teeth. It's nice to have high standards, but it's even better to have a friend with you and not be alone.
I'm 56. You don't have as much time as you think you do. Don't waste it, don't waste a single f****** day. Do something everyday even if it's just something for yourself. Drink plenty of water and use sunscreen. Donating blood doesn't hurt that bad. Doing something you like for a living is more rewarding than doing something that pays even exceptionally well. I've done both and the former is preferable in my opinion. I'm rambling too much coffee😳😳
I'm not sure about that last one. For me, the instant I monetize an interest, my interest starts to fade until every scrap of joy I once experienced while pursuing that interest has disappeared. You pursue an interest because you WANT to. When you monetize it, you are now forced to pursue it. Maybe it's just me, but I think I would grow to hate the thing I once loved.
Fail more.
Fail all the time.
Set yourself up for failure.
Because what you will learn is that failure is not some horrible catastrophe, it's actually a part of a process of getting better at something or getting what you want. And going ahead into failure is often how you find yourself unexpectedly succeeding faster than you expected.
And the more you fail, the more you immunize yourself against the fear of it so you can get more of it. Failure is something you actually *need* in your life to really get the things you want.
You need to think of failure as simply data gathering. You only failed because you lacked sufficient data. The makers of Formula 409 failed 408 times and kept at it, gathering data until they were able to succeed.
Lastly, we asked if giving advice, whether to young folk, or anyone, really, is truly challenging. And u/unabtaniuam pointed out a concept that's very true with a lot of folks:
"I have found it is easy for me to give good advice from the heart. But at the same time hard for me to follow it for myself."
There is this idea that it can be difficult to follow your own advice because you are much closer to your own problems. And so, not only are you more aware of the context and nuances of it all, but your emotions are often also more powerful in clouding your judgment. But advice for others comes easier and more naturally as we are more distant from these factors, and thus can approach it with a clearer mind.
1. Upvotes and thumbsup from social media doesn't matter. Your job title on LinkedIn doesn't matter. **Like nobody cares.** Your children won't care, your loved ones won't care, your gravestone won't say anything about it.
2. Don't think you are the be all and end all when it comes to trends and social knowledge. 20 years from now your children will look back upon you as savages. This happens every generation. Think about context before you judge others.
3. One person already said it, **but don't think you are so special**. The trends of parents over the past 20-30 years (saying you are perfection) isn't helping you. Work hard, live a good life -- be kind to others, admit your mistakes. (Aside: I have two kids and worked really hard to make them feel loved while simultaneously making sure they take responsibility for their actions)
If your kids mock your "outdated" clothes, ignore it and wait. Within 10 years, they'll be stealing those same clothes from your closet, as they've become fashionable again. I'm 58 and I've seen the following trends reappear multiple times: platform shoes, bellbottoms, mini-skirts, maxi-shirts, belly shirts, low rise pants, mom jeans, overalls, jumpsuits, rompers, bodysuits, over-the-knee boots, ankle boots, middle part, side part, blunt cut, layered cut...I could go on.
You know that dream that seems nuts to pursue?
Do it now.
When you’re old, with a house and a mortgage and a dog, s**t like “I want to make a movie” get much more complicated
"I wish I'd done that when I had the chance" is an infinitely more painful regret than "I wish I'd never done that."
Dull answers, but genuine ones:
- put more into your pension than you are now
- avoid debt where you can
- don't hold grudges
- look after your health
- learn to enjoy the now
- be nice to your parents. They might be d***s, but you'll probably still miss them
People at work are not your friend! Even if they're nice to you.
Enjoy your hairline/boobs, they aren't going to get better and you will fondly look back on where they were situated when you were younger and hotter.
Keep at a healthy weight/fitness level, and do more now than sitting around waiting for later.
Stop. You won't ever be the perfect image of yourself in your head
I'm actually trying to be the WORST image of myself in my head. So far, I'm succeeding.
Once you're out of school, don't keep the friends who bring you down, You really don't need that and the benefits no longer outweigh the drawbacks.
You know what I mean, the friends who only call when they need something, the ones who make you feel bad when you fail and worse when you succeed. The friends who encourage you to do things you actually don't want to do and discourage you from growing as a person.
Focus your time and effort on your high-quality friends. It's not about quantity anymore.
Do this before you leave school, you don't need that in addition to the stresses of school
Keep active and eat well.
Basic advice can be trickier to implement than it seems. The path of least resistance is to grab the soda on the end cap at the store and to skip the gym because you're tired today. And it's really easy to rationalize *just for today* without recognizing what's become a pattern.
It always seems like there's tomorrow until the body gives out, and once that happens it can be a vicious cycle. Have seen people's knees start to go by their mid-twenties. Have seen people go through three back surgeries in their thirties. Have seen heart attacks end it before age fifty.
So two tips:
Find a sport you really enjoy. Once you find the sport you love, dig into the wallet for good equipment. This isn't a frivolous expense: it's an investment in yourself.
Learn to cook from scratch. You don't have to graze on "superfoods" from kale to purple cauliflower to whatever else is the fad this year. Instead, eat mostly healthful things and go light on the treats. This shouldn't feel blah: if something tastes like cardboard then don't eat it. Just aim for a reasonable balance and try to make the reasonable stuff tasty.
🤣 every time kale is mentioned as superfood I'm like "what?" To me kale has always been a staple 😅 comes from living in Northern Germany as child. Everytime I want to buy it here in Switzerland it comes in 300g packages and is expensive as heck 🙄 wtf do I do with 300g anyway? Edit: sorry, bit off topic 😇
Don't take yourself too seriously, whatever you do you'll probably look back ten years later mildly mortified at how deep you thought you were.
You're just another confused human not destined for greatness and there's no grand scheme in which you matter one bit, so just chill.
If you have issues with your self confidence and depend on the validation of others, adress that s**t by whatever means are available to you. Nobody is going to do it for you and being insecure gets old fast.
Take care of your health. Wear sunscreen.
Note: this post originally had 38 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I'm 58. (1) You're an organic computer operating a meat puppet. Read the manual and follow the maintenance schedule. (2) Develop your own ethical code. Be vicious about applying it to yourself and avoid applying it to anyone else. (3) Self-awareness, self-worth, self-consciousness, self-care, and self-esteem all have one thing in common: you. No one else's opinion matters. Ever. (4) To thine own self be true. (5) Toxic people do not deserve a drop of your time, energy, or care. If they cared about you, they wouldn't be toxic to you. (6) Set your own goals in life, none of which should consist solely of "keeping up with" anyone else's accomplishments. (7) Speak out against injustice, even if you're not the one being treated unjustly. (8) Experiences are infinitely more precious than possessions. (9) Treat others the way you like to be treated.
(9) No, treat others the way THEY want to be treated.
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No matter how careful you are, no matter how fit, no matter how well you eat, how much you exercise or how much sleep you get, you can get sick—very sick, very quickly. Some illnesses are in our genes and are out of our control. What matters, should that happen, is your attitude, and strength of character.
I'm 67. Life is a matter of balancing things out. Spend some money, save some money. Be careful to whom you open up. You can choose your friends but not your family, sometimes family are not friends. Travel. Eat and drink well but in moderation. Moderate exercise will help keep you healthy. Find a passion. Learn to play an instrument. Read. Love. When you lose someone close to you (which you will) it will change you, don't try to fight it but cherish the good memories you had with them. Treat others how you yourself would wish to be treated. Be honest to yourself and hold yourself accountable. Take the credit when it's due but own up and accept the blame when it's yours. Life is not easy, it will be full of detours. If you don't like the path you are on it's usually up to you to find another path. If you are wrong, do not be ashamed to admit it but learn from it. Nobody likes a liar. Trust is hard earned yet easy to lose. A man must know his limitations.
I'm 58. (1) You're an organic computer operating a meat puppet. Read the manual and follow the maintenance schedule. (2) Develop your own ethical code. Be vicious about applying it to yourself and avoid applying it to anyone else. (3) Self-awareness, self-worth, self-consciousness, self-care, and self-esteem all have one thing in common: you. No one else's opinion matters. Ever. (4) To thine own self be true. (5) Toxic people do not deserve a drop of your time, energy, or care. If they cared about you, they wouldn't be toxic to you. (6) Set your own goals in life, none of which should consist solely of "keeping up with" anyone else's accomplishments. (7) Speak out against injustice, even if you're not the one being treated unjustly. (8) Experiences are infinitely more precious than possessions. (9) Treat others the way you like to be treated.
(9) No, treat others the way THEY want to be treated.
Load More Replies... No matter how careful you are, no matter how fit, no matter how well you eat, how much you exercise or how much sleep you get, you can get sick—very sick, very quickly. Some illnesses are in our genes and are out of our control. What matters, should that happen, is your attitude, and strength of character.
I'm 67. Life is a matter of balancing things out. Spend some money, save some money. Be careful to whom you open up. You can choose your friends but not your family, sometimes family are not friends. Travel. Eat and drink well but in moderation. Moderate exercise will help keep you healthy. Find a passion. Learn to play an instrument. Read. Love. When you lose someone close to you (which you will) it will change you, don't try to fight it but cherish the good memories you had with them. Treat others how you yourself would wish to be treated. Be honest to yourself and hold yourself accountable. Take the credit when it's due but own up and accept the blame when it's yours. Life is not easy, it will be full of detours. If you don't like the path you are on it's usually up to you to find another path. If you are wrong, do not be ashamed to admit it but learn from it. Nobody likes a liar. Trust is hard earned yet easy to lose. A man must know his limitations.
