36 Times Americans And Europeans Roasted The Hell Out Of Each Other And Ended Up Online
Interview With ExpertAs a society—doesn’t matter which one—we’re past calling each other idiots or other simple, mono-to-duo-syllabic insults. And that’s for the best.
Because when you start elevating the level of the insult, making it complex, witty, or outright comedic with a good roast taste, it’s no longer acting upon an impulse of hate. No… It’s an exercise in creativity that involves knowing no boundaries.
And while this is not a rule, nor a statistic, equating someone’s lack of skill or cranial aptitude to a meteorological phenomenon might just crack them up to a degree where they couldn’t even be mad at you. And then you’d hug and forget why you were even arguing in the first place.
Now, apply that same logic between Americans and Europeans. This is that story.
We've also contacted Dr. Jeffrey Rubin, psychologist, author, and the man behind the From Insult To Respect blog, to discuss insults.
This post may include affiliate links.
On Measuring
I say mentioning a mathematician, albeit a drunken one, is an insult to mathematicians.
Load More Replies...The mile was invented by the Romans as 5000 feet (mille passus)and defined as 5280 feet by the Brits in 1593. Americans just used the British-invented system. https://www.almanac.com/fact/how-was-it-determined-that-the-length
Proving beyond a doubt that the Romans had bigger feet than the Brits.
Load More Replies...IIRC, the US was going to go metric, but the Frenchman who was sailing to America to bring us a set of weights to establish the standard was either attacked by pirates or lost in a storm at sea before he made it to his destination.
Feels like they just threw a keyboard, key up, against the wall, delete the letters and take the numbers that remained
Feet and miles each originate in different systems of measurement used for different purposes, ie general measurement vs land surveying.. (There are other units that do divide the mile evenly - furlong, rod and chain). There were a few different lengths for "miles" used in different countries as well, until eventually one was settled on in the UK and then the US. (Though nautical mile and survey mile are still used in specific circumstances)
USA! USA! We're Number 1... Except When It Comes To Medical Expenses
How does having a flag on the moon make you free? By that logic, people living in China would now also be free.
It doesn't, we are just grasping at straws at this point.
Load More Replies...It's always good to be reassured that not all Americans are batshit crazy Trump loving Karens lol
Load More Replies...Again: the moon has a white flag on it. It's been bleached by solar radiation. To an alien species landing on the moon, it would appear that someone called Richard Nixon surrendered to an empty rock.
Maybe aliens won't try to kill us if they think we surrendered to a rock. Might be to weak for "the most dangerous game" too
Load More Replies...The United States leads the world in total number of people incarcerated, with more than 2 million prisoners nationwide (per data released in October 2021 by World Prison Brief). emoji-6537...c64989.png
No one owns the moon. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outer_Space_Treaty
I don't want to get into a big debate about the merits of one system over the other, because neither one is perfect, but that "free" health care isn't free. You pay taxes to the government, and that tax money pays for your health care.
It's "free at the point of service". Though I would point out, for some people it absolutely is free.
Load More Replies...In addition to the US flag, you can find the flags of Soviet Union. ... Israel. ... India. ... China... on the Moon.
Time
We don't even have to calculate anything. We look at it and we just know
It was not that long ago I learn that its called military time! For me its just...time
Load More Replies...American here. I actually wanted to get used to the 24 hour clock, or military time, so I just set my watch to it and... Adjusted? It isn't hard to subtract 12
Is it true that the 24hr clock isn't used regularly?
Load More Replies...These are Americans and Europeans roasting each other, these are so far Americans being shown by Europeans that they think the American way is the only way and the rest of the world is all one big under developed mass of countries that live in poverty and in the past!
I really don't get what the bigger issue is. I get that math is hard for some and that am and pm might be instinctively easier for others but why care what others have set on their phone? I don't like am and pm since I always have to think to remember which is before and after noon.
The abbrevations tell you if it's before or after noon. Ante = Latin for before. Post = Latin for after.
Load More Replies...Insults are, to put it simply, a way to offend and be rude to people. This is often done in the hopes of belittling, offending or humiliating folks who may or may not deserve it.
The deeper reasons as to why people do that can vary wildly and are complex in their nature. But to keep with the simplicity of this explanation, it can come from a place of anger, pain, trauma, guilt, bigotry, lack of self-esteem, patience, or just plain old not knowing any better.
Rome
*European Confusion*
I recently needed to take a ride in not one but two wee-yoo wagons-- one to the nearest hospital ER and then the second to a different hospital for the necessary surgery. With my national healthcare coverage, I paid €7,86. An Uber would've cost a lot more, and have no paramedics to keep me stable.
That is called a luxury only available for the wealthy where I live. If you can hoof it you better be bringing your old a*s the the ER. Also medica get paid about $15/hr here.
Load More Replies...I was once charged $2,500.00 for one I didn't even take. 2 came, I left in one, billed for both. Apparently I got an exam and everything in both too!
I got a free helicopter ride and a week in the hospital, all my med free. Glad canada is a " socialist country. According to our South neighbors I don't know what I am missing.
Load More Replies...I woke up to my house on fire, jumped out a 2nd story window, messed up my ankle and then tried to kick in my front door with my bare feet. I badly sprained my foot/ankle and next thing I knew, I was on a gurney about to be put in an ambulance. I jumped off and hop/limped away all soot covered and looking like a crazy person. You do not get in an ambulance in the US unless you're rich or have multiple insurance companies (regular *and* supplemental health insurance). They were pissed I didn't get in, they lost thousands. F them. That's how messed up our system is.
Currently dealing with a week long migraine. Urgent care tried to convince me to go to the ER, but I'm not paying for that unless I'm dying. American health care is the absolute worst.
good luck getting and uber driver trying to keep you alive on the way to hospital or even letting you in the car if its anything more than a paper cut
If he's not performing CPR he's only getting 1 star.
Load More Replies...I adore the fact that they have a post referring to “W***y Wonka” but left in a whole a*s F bomb.
Load More Replies...In Italy emergency ambulances are totally free if they are operated by our public medical service. If you have a job and pay your taxes, a very small amount goes towards national health services. Job or not, they are free. Also medications for special illnesses are completely free (diabetes to name one). A friend of mine has two emophilic sons, they both receive the medications their mom injects them with for free. Twice a month, each package costs about 20.000 euros (yes twentythousand, 80.000nin total). Without their injections they could even die, so selling them for money is not an option, and anyway everyone with the same illness receive them for free. Not everything is free (it is if you are under a certain income), you must pay a relatively small fee for lab tests and exams. But if you have a specific illness (I am an oncologic patient) all the tests and exams are absolutely free.
And, everybody receives the same treatment. Illegal immigrants without papers too
Load More Replies...A few years ago, my mom fell off of a ladder and her leg snapped. There was bone literally sticking out of her skin. Through her cries of shear agonizing pain, she begged my stepdad not to call an ambulance. He, of course, didn't listen and an ambulance was immediately called. But, being in such pain and worrying about the ambulance bill tells you a lot about our medical system. After the hospital stay, she also was slapped with a hefty hospital bill. She had insurance that she paid for, but the deductible was still $16,000. The ambulance isn't even covered by insurance.
Americans
It isn’t incorrect. But it does seem a little wrong :)
Load More Replies...I'm starting to think america might have lost the civil war which is really quite a skill when only america was playing
I mean, the America we have now won..not sure how valid this comment is...
Load More Replies...You kick me, fine. You kick my dog, then yoo-hoo, it’s bye time for you
As an American and a history teacher, I can honestly say thay Americans *think* they've won every war we've ever been in. 🙄
However, insults can also be a form of bonding among friends. Dr. Jeffrey Rubin, psychologist, author, and the man behind the From Insult To Respect blog, discussed this in a post of his. Bored Panda got in touch with Dr. Rubin for an interview.
To put it simply, insults can be fun, and fun means laughter, and laughter means a pleasant experience. If anything, insults among friends can be a way of telling them you like them “without being mawkish about it.”
The English Language Can Be Tricky
I learned to translate the American words because I read so many Sweet Valley High books that I learned those words by osmosis.
"Oh, my son is in third class!" "Very well, when does the airplane arrive?"
Who says they’re a freshman when asked their age? And I also don’t know what age a freshman is, it’s 14-15, right?
And don't forget maths. They have many maths, that's why they put an 's' on the end.
It's short for "mathematics," which is in fact plural, because there are multiple kinds of mathematics.
Load More Replies...Sixth form represents the final two years of secondary education, ages 16 to 18. I was 16 in the Sept when I was first in 6th form (in 1978), and 17 by the end of it, so it's changed a bit.
Load More Replies...What makes it even more confusing is that you can have high school freshmen and college freshmen.
As an American, I too have no idea how high school "grades" works.
Damn. I Always Thought England Was Made Up To Scare The French
Nah , Mr Darcy, like all aristocrats of the time, had learned the King's English at Université.
In 2035 wales invades england, but because the welsh only drive at 20mph nobody notices them until 2037
I really read that in a US southern drawl, not a Derbyshire accent.
There is an accent in Japan often mentioned in anime. Since it is more subtle to people who don't speak the language, it is often translated into an accent from America, and southern is the one I've seen personally
Load More Replies...Omg, I work with all English woman who is married to a Welshman, and now I'm excited to go to work tomorrow and show this to her!
America Is The Reason You Have Cars
Never gets old ! 🙃 https://youtube.com/shorts/QH1GgIJ7TPs?si=p6eJXfchdXHZ7QM6
Aww but Eww I snort laughed at that clip, thank you
Load More Replies...The Germans did not invent the car. An Austrian Jew by the name of Marcus (1875) was selling ICE-powered passenger cars to help people drive goods to markets. But the Germans erased him from history, in favor of Benz (1888). What Americans contributed (Ford, 1903) was a mass-production technique that made private ownership of cars possible for the middle class. Americans also invented the first auto capable of being driven on existing networks of horse-and-buggy roads (Carhart, 1871). Ironically, the British (1812) had created automobile bus, having several brilliant inventions, but the bureaucracy strangled the industry. The very first self-propelled vehicle was created by French priests to amuse the Chinese emperor in 1672, but the steam-powered car was too small for an adult passenger.
We were so brainwashed in my U.S. school. We were taught all kinds of ways America was first. The rest was swept under the rug. Then they encouraged us to travel the world. So embarrassing. All Americans should read "The Ugly American" by Eugene Burdick and William Lederer. Hubris!
The first steam powered "automobile" was invented in france in 1769, the first electric carriage, was created in 1832, in Scotland, The first THREE WHEELED, combustion engine vehicle was indeed invented in Germany in 1885, with the four wheeled version also coming out of germany in 1886 by another inventor.....but the US had a 4 wheeled combustion engine vehicle in 1876, and the US is credited with creating the first "car" in 1893. Despite the invention of the gasoline powered car, Electric vehicles were much more common due to the fact that gasoline engines were difficult to start, painfully loud and generally unreliable due to engine "knock".....until ford made them affordable, and someone decided to put lead in gasoline.
Yeah… a German invented the first car, Henry ford just made the better car.
We asked Dr. Rubin if this idea of insults among friends as a way of bonding can extend to countries and continents.
“I think so. Although, it’s useful to keep in mind that the very joke that will delight some will deeply offend others. Unless the humorist is willing to deal with the blowback, such humor might be wisely avoided.”
“There are types of humor to be avoided in either case. Jokes directed at the people of another country that can’t change, such as some facial characteristic or color of their skin, or some historical event that has long passed serves nothing positive. Much better are quips about some behavior that has the potential to be improved, so it spurs some thoughtful consideration. The safest humor, in my opinion, is directed to something that occurs in one’s own country as well as the other country or countries so, in this way, a shared bond is created.”
American vs. European Homes
I grew up in a house built somewhere between the 1480s and 1520s. As a child I was spooked by the idea of living in a house where someone died thanks to American movies. Until one night (I was probably 8yo) I realised that multiple people have probably died just inside the room alone that was my bedroom back then. It's beautiful to be part of legacy of so many people living and loving, crying and laughing, coming and going inside this house. No ghosts though, only pigeons.
Why is this so true? Like, someone died in this house, so now it’s sold under market value because it’s bad juju to live in a house where someone died.
Not unlikely for a house over ten years old to have a "ghost." It means that the furnace, which is also over ten years old, has never been serviced or not been well maintained. Seeing a ghost in your house is the kind of hallucination generally associated with early stages of carbon monoxide poisoning.
Absolutely true. Americans have a very restricted view of "history" and time. The East Coast, home of the original 13 Colonies, goes back 300-400 years. As you move west, the idea of history only shortens. The country is barely 250 years old - there are pubs, houses, brand-names, roads, older than that in Europe! America is a land of Tweens!
I'm an American and grew up in a house built in 1884. And yes, it was haunted.
Education
Hence the allowance of debt being encouraged. They are very linked...
Load More Replies...You can only own/possess a rifle or shotgun at 18. You have to be 21 to own/possess a hand gun.
Load More Replies..."Can I go and buy a gun while I put up my weekly shopping?" Absefreakinglutely
Oh, and, at 18, how many people entirely understand compound interest? I know I didn't.
It's even weirder. Many states were 18 as late as the mid-80s when Fed really pushed hard and started denying funding if they didn't. In a couple of states, you can't buy it but are legal to drink it in the presence of family 21+ (parent/guardian/spouse). And a couple of states, there's the purchase age but no penalties for underage drinking (for the drinker anyway).
Yeah, American 18-year-olds are old enough to vote, old enough to be drafted into or enlist in the miltary to die for their country, but not old enough to legally drink. Ridiculous. 🙄
The draft won't happen, and by the time you pass Basic, AIT, and get to your unit you will likely be older. Also, most military jobs that aren't special operations forces or Combat arms rarely see combat, and when they do most of the time they fight with superior equipment, training, and tactics.
Load More Replies...Point well made but, teeeechnically, an 18yo can only borrow $5500 in student loans (freshman year, student specific).
Cotton Candy
British here, everyone I know calls it candy floss. Liking fairy floss though
Also British and I've never heard anyone calling it fairy floss always candy floss
Load More Replies...The only people I ever hear say Fairy Floss are Australians. I live in England and have only ever called is Candy Floss.
Yes, we love fairies down here. Fairy bread, fairy floss...
Load More Replies...That seems like the ideal name for it in any language! Point to Finland.
Load More Replies...Actually the correct etymology of the Dutch “suikerspin” is spinning sugar. As in Spun sugar ;)
Load More Replies...British here - never heard it called fairy floss. It's candy floss.
hi im half french - daddy's beard is a literal but creepy translation 😅 in french it is called "barb a papa" (sorry about spelling)
Omg I have watched Barbapapa cartoons since childhood but never before realised the meaning of the word :O
Load More Replies...Candy floss is British fairy floss is Australian. Fairy floss is also the original name
Fairies like to have healthy teeth and gums as much as anybody. Let them floss!
While it can be a case of superiority, bigotry, comebacks, and the like when it comes to international relations, there’s also this thing called friendly rivalry. Friendly rivalries are competitions between parties at odds with each other over certain issues, but they do so in a civil and sometimes humorous manner.
Education
I'm certain that someone will say that Switzerland is American since America beat them in a war.
Not really. Switzerland during war times is usually like: "Nah, I am good just keep going - I stay where I am and sit it out.." they don't involve themselves in wars...
Load More Replies...Coming from an American, 7th place is way to high. Now if you said 70th, that I'd believe.
A former president stated that he was glad for uneducated people in the US. Guess who. guess why.
We're number 7?!?!?!? I bet that source is biased. I'm willing to get were not in the top 50. Then again, I'm from Florida, a few years ago we ranked number 50 in the US for education (in case anyone isn't sure, that's last place).
I remember being in elementary school here in the United States and watching a video that talked about how America ranks low in every academic category, and then it had a montage of Americans doing very American thigs with a voice over saying "but we rank #1 in overall confidence!!" *cue an Eagle flying with a gun while riding a skate board on a motorcycle jumping the Grand Canyon filled with snakes on fire with the Flag in the background*
The fact that there Americans who've graduated college and still believe that Alaska is an island leaves no doubt in my mind that we will NEVER be anywhere close to first place.
Dumb Europeans
Umm, though there *were* houses in 1350s in Europe, and the very rich even had small round glasses put into smaller lead frames as windows - here (Germany) called "Butzenscheiben" - most dwellings had - if any - only smaller holes in the wall ("windows") and closed the wooden "window doors" in front of them or just stuffed them with straw when it got too cold. / I'm pretty sure there were no "advanced technology" like a screen back then, when even sieves were just wooden crates with some holes drilled in (not the "woven" metal ones of today.) And I'm quite convinced the Indians didn't have houses *with glass windows* let alone screens in 1350 in "America"( North America? The today USA?). // And if you refer to the spreading of the Plague, it's distributed by critters living on rats and rats more likely will enter a house via any door... (but what do I know, I'm just a dumb historian. Please correct me, and yes, I know of the pueblo houses)
Load More Replies...If I was in Australia I'd put a bug screen over my entire house just to be sure
Yes. Flying rat season is upon us as we speak. #flyingratsawarenessweek
Load More Replies...There's a tiny little tarantula on my ceiling right now. Just looked up because of this post, and there it is. It's invasive, must have come in because it's getting cold. I'll ignore it, goodbye Nosferatu tarantula on the ceiling.
Name it "Cotton Eyed Joe" - cause the real questions are, "Where did you come from, where did you go?"
Load More Replies...Uh, I bet if doctorkpepper had the bugs etc they get in the US/Aus/Canada, they'd use screens too. I sure as hell would.
When You Try To Roast Europe For Not Being Knowledgeable Enough About Coffee, But Europe Has A Reverse Uno Card Up Its Sleeve
Awe, I don't fault this person. There is so much to learn and understand about another country and their culture, that it is impossible to learn everything, or even a sliver of everything when traveling. I have a friend who immigrated from Malaysia, and even after being here for a couple years, told me one day how they really wanted to buy a " Christmas donut". I thought it was cute that he was getting excited over what I thought, and most native English speaking US Americans would conclude, a red and green decorated donut. Well, I brought him just that a couple days later and learned through some laughs, he was talking about a Christmas wreath! As long as someone is trying, we really shouldn't judge when they don't know every little difference or intricacy of things. These people were in a new country with a different language, money, culture, etc and learned that Latte means milk, and Cafe Latte means the coffee drink.
I work in a global company and often have meetings with people from Sweden, Germany, France, Japan, China and many other countries. Most of them speak English better than some of the people that I grew up with here in America. And for the ones that don't I appreciate that they try to speak my language because I can't speak theirs, and I do everything I can to help them. I have also had many friends who either moved from another country here, or came here to study. The fact that they managed to learn our language as well as they did, is way more than I could possibly do. Four years of French in school, and I can ask directions, but might not understand your response. Three years trying to learn Irish on my own, and I can barely remember how to order a meal. And let's not even get started on my college attempt to learn Japanese...
Load More Replies...I can guarantee that the average Italian batista wouldn't know what a latte is, especially cause "latte" has an actual meaning in the Italian language and it's not uncommon to order a glass of warm milk. Try ask for a pepperoni pizza here, you'll be served a pizza with bell peppers, cause "peperoni" means "bell peppers". Actually many Italian words or expressions that are used in the English language are misinterpreted, I can name a few: "al fresco" means "cool, at a cool temperature" (as in " keep these bottles cool"), it doesn't mean "outdoor", surprisingly it can also mean "in jail". "Bimbo" is another word for "child", "confetti" are a type of candy (an almond covered in sugar), usually given during weddings or christening.
Load More Replies...So, seems more like an innocent mistake. There is so much to learn and understand about another country and their culture, that it is impossible to learn everything, or even a sliver of everything when traveling. As long as someone is trying, we really shouldn't judge when they don't know every little difference or intricacy of things like this. I could see if they were being an a******s about it, but it doesn't seem that way. So I don't think they were thick at all, just in a new country with a Dr offering language, money, culture, etc and learned that Latte means milk, and Cafe Latte means the coffee drink.
Load More Replies...I don't see it as the OP trying to roast Europe, I see it more as 'look at this funny thing that happened because of language differences'. I guess it could also be read as 'silly Italians don't get what a latte is', but then it could also be read as 'look at the funny thing that happened because my wife and I were silly to not realize that latte means milk in Italian'.
Starbucks - Hey we should name the sizes and a few menu items in Italian so Americans look stupid trying to order coffee in Europe. Not that we need the help looking stupid.
It’s possible the husband is laughing at his wife… Because he KNOWS where she went wrong…
As an italian, let me say that barista in italian means... Well, the person that works behind the counter to brew espresso, cappuccino, caffellatte. Barista also is an italian word. And, we do not know what Fettuccine Alfredo are (definitely not an italian dish, we know them from american tv shows). We do not eat "spaghetti and meatballs", chicken parmigiana neither is an italian dish. I could go on and on, but here it's 3.17 am and I'm getting hungry talking of food!
As an Italian, I feel bad for the couple honestly learning the language is confusing it's just a different culture with different norms.
A good example of friendly rivalry can be seen among universities. They often keep up friendly rivalries amongst each other as this sort of civil competition pushes these institutions to bring to the forefront their very best, knowing well enough that if it is lacking, it will be pushed to second place.
Another example is friendly rivalries among military units. These also have the potential for encouraging internal cohesion through sports competitions, with some members excelling more productively as a result.
French
Here in the US we only set things on fire when the team we support wins a sporting championship.
*Things go bad* America: Let us complain online! France: Bring out ze guillotine....
In the US going on strike due to unfair pay, work conditions, etc. is virtually a lost art. Most of us under 40 have no understanding of what workers had to do through most of the 20th century to get any of the rights and protections they take for granted. As unions decline, the middle class vanishes.
The French certainly know how to protest - like when farmers dump thousands of liters of milk, rotten vegetables, or manure.
Celsius
UK oldies still use fahrenheit. But most people under 60 use Centigrade. Most people still use Stone for body weight.
Load More Replies...As the proud mother exclaimed as her son marched past with the rest of his battalion, "Oh look! Everyone is out of step except my Johnny!"
Celsius is way less confusing... water freezes at 0 degrees and boils at 100. So much easier than this "water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees" s**t
Fahrenheit was designed for weather. 0 is really cold, 100 is really hot. The phase transition points of water weren’t really taken into account. Celsius is much more useful for cooking and science, yes, but Fahrenheit has its uses too.
Load More Replies...This map is completely incorrect though. There are other places that use Fahrenheit too, among which Liberia and a couple of islands. And there's a couple of places that use both Fahrenheit and Celsius. Doesn't make the point less true that pretty much everyone uses Celsius, but I hate it when people try to bash 1 country (often USA) by making nonsense statements about that country being the only one to do something, when that is simply not true. Stop pretending that those other small places don't matter, they exist too.
ok im sorry to be that guy but Bahamas, Cayman Islands, Palau, Micronesia and the Marshall Islands also use farenheit so not 100% accurate. supposedly Belize , British Virgin Islands and Bermuda use both
A great number of people/businesses/institutions/government agencies use Celsius in the U.S.
Americans, Please Confirm
And in the south, “bless her/his/your/their hearts/ hearts” means “ I really hope they die while on fire for awhile”. If “ they can’t help it” as in “ bless his heart, he can’t help it “ means , I’d set him on fire myself but he’s so stupid everyone else would blame me for setting him on fire so I’ll just say / do it this way and warn the people I am talking with.
This cracks me up whenever I hear someone try to say "bless his heart" in the North in a positive way. I get their intent but they either sound like a jerk or an idiot. Bless their hearts.
Load More Replies...Especially if there is heavy emphasis on the F.
Load More Replies...We were originally an English colony. We have retained more than a little of the British sarcasm.
Fine means I'm semi-okay but something is wrong, but I know you don't want details so I'll say fine.
Quite an accurate analysis but, it also might mean "I don't want to share the details so I'll say fine."
Load More Replies...The one that annoys me is when someone tells me "you want to do this". No! YOU want to do this!
I always try to say "I recommend this" or "you might want to do this", and explain why
Load More Replies...Now, it is important to note that constructive humor has to be done right. Hence, insults have to be well thought out to be able to achieve the aim of positive change.
“Great humor is designed to spur some thoughtful consideration about something that can potentially be changed,” explains Dr. Rubin. “Focus on a topic about something you believe needs changing and make that the target of your humor.”
Silly Americans And Their Weird Lingo Amirite?
Ok, this one made me spit out my tea! Yes we do call it a k**b of butter in the UK
I feel a knòb of butter is much small than a stick though, so they’re not too comparable!
Load More Replies...German here. Why is knòb censored? Should i be afraid of using a doorknòb?
"I have had a really exhausting day at the office visiting all my co workers in their office rooms, I've had so many knobs in my hand today!" lol
Load More Replies...no this can't be real, I usually hate immature childish vulgar toilet humor, but I might have to run this into the ground for a hot second. So can some one please bring me the rock hard throbbing butter. I want to warm it in my mouth
A k**b of butter is used when the recipe does not require an exact measurement. It is roughly the size of of a kitchen cupboard door or drawer k**b (which I found to be just under 2 tablespoons). Other vague measurements include, a nut of butter, a dollop (or a good dollop, for a larger dollop), a nub, a dob, a pat, and a curl.
Yeah, a stick of butter in the US is a specific quantity, a quarter of a pound. When you buy butter, it usually comes as four individually -wrapped sticks in a cardboard box. (Margarine can come either in sticks or in a plastic bowl, but real butter is usually sticks.)
Load More Replies...Why the hell is the word k**b censored? Seriously would you censor door k**b?
Americans On The Internet Always Think Everyone Else Is American
This is why I sometimes specify the USA when making a post. The USA isn't the entire world. And the USA may not be the same in another ten years, or so--
Load More Replies...Here on Bored Panda it's often, "that's the US but in my country...".
Could tell by the way you spell "anesthesia" (grin)!
Load More Replies...Everyone does this here! Please don’t say “in my country” and not say where you are! I’m not asking for your exact location or home address.
And we Americans will tell you the State we're from instead, lol.
Load More Replies...Me, pointing erratically: I'm not with them! I'm American, but I'm not a stupid one! (I think)
It's at this point I always point out I'm British.
Load More Replies...To be fair, we sometimes don't state the country when talking in our national language...
As a US resident, I do admit that I do this myself. Being in BP has actually really opened my eyes to this, because it’s the only international forum that I interact with, so I don’t usually think to mention it. However, I do really enjoy learning about all the different cultural differences (along with explanations!) that these boards are full of!
Hmmmmmmm
❗❗it has come to my attention that this comment is not accurate and does not reflect the reality of Cinco De Mayo. I was taught throughout childhood an inaccurate version of why this holiday is celebrated, among other things (whitewashed history is a real issue). I am sorry if I hurt or offended anyone and I will continue to educate myself about this subject. I am only human, and made a mistake, but I want to learn from it to be better. Thank you to all who commented and brought this to my attention. I am leaving my original post how it is, because I don't want to erase my mistake, I would rather bring attention to it to show that we all still have a lot to learn about others in this country and world ✌️❤️We do celebrate Cinco De Mayo, which is the Mexican Revolution. It isn't a national holiday, but it is celebrated. Lots of fairs, parties, etc. Mexican Americans make up a huge portion of our population, and over the years, many non Mexican Americans have participated in celebrating Cinco De Mayo, some just for a reason to celebrate and party, others because it has integrated to become part of their communities culture especially if you grew up or live in towns and cities with a large Latino community. If we had a Russian American population as big as the Mexican American population, we would more than likely do the same for Red October Revolution. Say what you will about the US, we have many, many issues. But one thing we do well is integrate others cultures and traditions fairly well, since we are technically a country made up of immigrants. And yes, there is a part of our population, (ahem, the right wing, red hat wearing, red staters) that throw a big fit about anything that isn't "white, Christian, and and revolved around them" the majority of us really love the variety that other cultures bring
Cinco de Mayo has absolutely nothing to do with the Mexican Revolution. It's the anniversary of Mexico winning a battle against France, which took place 50 years before the revolution. It doesn't even have anything to do with Mexican Independence, which happened 50 years before the battle, a hundred years before the revolution. But good job showing your knowledge of other cultures.
Load More Replies...There was some American expats celebrating the 4th of July in the UK. Kinda ironic to celebrate freedom from the country you decided to move "back" to, huh?
I think the Brits do celebrate the 4th of July as "the day we got rid of those troublemakeing gits on the other side of the ocean" day
I had the same thought. Like, a dark fate was averted that day 😆
Load More Replies...I've read somewhere that England is responsible for dozens and dozens of Independence Days all over the world!
Well, I have once been invited to a Fourth of July party at the Salzburg International Preparatory School in Salzburg, Austria. Get a large enough population of expatriated, over-seas Americans together, and you'll have yourself a July 4th party in any given country.
Bonfire night is coming up soon and it’s better than the Fourth of July because they both have fireworks but ours is the celebration of when we tortured a man to death. 🥳
Yeah, but he was a religious terrorist, so the USA has carried that tradition on pretty well ever since.
Load More Replies...Another form of insulting that can possibly be justified is found in dealing with difficult people. It is a knee-jerk reaction to being bad-mouthed that actually starts adding nuance to insults.
You see, this situation is no longer necessarily coming from a place of pain or anger. Instead, it’s fighting fire with fire because it’s a form of self-defense. Either that, or the one throwing insults stepped out of line and you simply asked them to get back behind it. And that can be justified.
Long Distance Rivalry
I live in Arizona. I literally have to unclog my coffee pot twice a month because of our hard water.
My husband put some tap water on his Marijuana seeds wrapped in a paper towel yesterday...now the entire towel is spotted with purple mold.
I went to England and the tap water was nice??? Is British tap water just so much better than average American water that even bad tap is still good?
It's all fine to drink, just the further south you go, the more minerals there are dissolved in it from the aquifers filtering though chalk and limestone. I live far south and use a filter jug for drinking water because I don't like the taste. Up in Scotland and the north of England the tap water is lovely though.
Load More Replies...I don't know, according to that one thread a little while ago, tourist hoping to cross the country by car need to leave room for multiple days of travel.
Now, see, I used to live W. Mids and currently live SE. Gross, nasty, scale-y tap water. I buy cheapo kettles and replace and use a water filter for my coffee machine. My grandma, SW (Cornwall), beautiful soft water. Cow. (She deserves it, and I'm sure the minerals do me good lol)
The north has Fluoride in the water so... our bones are plenty strong tyvm
Confused Non Americans
Only Americans (afaik) call an area of land a "lot".
Healthcare
Do Americans think that countries with national health care don't also have private health care providers?
In the UK at least you can pick your NHS provider too
Load More Replies...American healthcare is horrendous. I say this as an American. We don’t win anything. Our country is in terrible, terrible shape in every conceivable way and I don’t believe it will ever be okay again.
You can't pick whatever doctor you want in the American system, because once you have a specific healthcare provider, you need to pick a doctor that is in that network. I suppose some insurers might let you go to any doctor, but definitely not all insurers.
Insurance companies absolutely let you see whichever provider you want. They just won't pay the bills lol
Load More Replies...Oh, absolutely not, the moment someone has an injury, all the doctors and nurses jump into their ambulance wagons and race mad max style to the injured person. The one who manages to grab them first can keep them as a patient!
There was a time when fire fighter companies weren't run by the state and this is exactly what happened. when they would respond to a fire. First company there got the check
Load More Replies...What in the hell is the OP talking about anyway? I don't get to choose my insurance - it's the only one my husband's work offers. If I want to choose a doctor out of network (not on the insurance list) I'd have to pay out of pocket. How rich are you dude?
If American healthcare is WE WIN-then I don't want to see what We Lose looks like...
I can't pick just any doctor I like actually. I've been denied going back to my favourite doctor from my teens (she's been away cause studies) because uhh... I either had the wrong social security number or live on the wrong street. I don't remember but they divide their patients like that. Now my brother has her tho..
Where I live (Europe) you can pick your doctor and still be on National healthcare. (Rolling eyes emoji)
We can only pick from the doctors from the approved provider list from our medical insurance slight discount plan.
If anything, creative insults can very effectively derail and thus defuse an argument. How? Because we tend to laugh at unexpected things.
So, if you’re creative enough, you might just make your insulter laugh so much, they might just end up embarrassed and storm out or they might also accept defeat and apologize. And if you can hug it out in the end, hey, that’s all that matters.
Europeans Try To Come Up With An Original Joke Challenge (Impossible)
The children can continue the argument. Until it's time for the mass shooter drills.
Load More Replies...My current one is that as a female at least I have body autonomy and don't have a bunch of old white men making medical decisions when they have a- no medical training and b- no even basic human biology it seems (like the guy who asked if you could swallow the tablet that is a tiny camera and it take photos of a foetus) that could have a detrimental impact on my life and potentially even kill me. Though that one does me feel very sad and frustrated for woman in the USA
I would add multiple comments on this theme but it's beyond a f#cking joke
Load More Replies...When I see a meme with bad spelling and punctuation, I just feel like it's a wasted effort no matter what point was being made.
Damn as an American I really hate my healthcare that I totally don't have and that totally doesn't cover my doctor visits, my physical therapy, my meds, etc. there's absolutely no healthcare in America.
No healthcare, little history and culture compared to Europe, and mass shootings are out of hand. (once saw a post that had "translations" of english to american english and it went School -> Shooting Range....apologies for the incredibly dark humour there, it's not funny, it's incredibly sad, in fact)
"At Least American Toilets Aren't Just Holes In The Ground"
Yeah, completely normal plumbing. *Nervously looks at plumbing that was improvised by some dude in 1923 into the 800yo wall and was expended 7 times and is still in use because you need at least three plumbers and 8 archaeologists to do anything with it*
Archaeology major here. We're not interested in your plumbing until it's much older.
Load More Replies...Did this person see one of these horrible standing gas station toilets and decided the house toilets must look like that too?
*Laughing in Japanese* at both sides. (I'm actually in Tokyo as I write this)
still plenty of squatting toilets throughout parts of Europe, tbh. (south of France, parts of greece and eastern Europe etc) though they're not as common, and the plumbing is fine. Squatting is technically the more natural and "comfortable" position to go in anyway.
Yeah, but I'd still rather achieve that position with a 'squatty potty' or however it's spelt! (If you imagine your footstool to raise your legs to the, uh, therapeutically approved angle or something)
Load More Replies...My great-grandparents' house had a bedroom they turned into a bathroom somewhere during the early 20th Century. It's the biggest bathroom I've ever been in, but at least you didn't have to go to the edge of the property next to the road to use the outhouse anymore.
I would like to take a moment and thank Culver's Restaurants in America's Midwest; NO gaps on toilet doors! Now if they'd just make TP reachable for disabled customers, they'd be perfect!
Americans Are Asleep, Let's Mock Their Accents
This is awesome. Went to the US as a kid, and with English as a second language, the way they run their words with no real spaces made understanding them really hard.
Everybody speaks their native language that way when they're speaking casually.
Load More Replies...I believe Henry Higgins excelled at mocking British accents long before we got around to it...
This accent isn’t the most common. Reading this felt like hearing British people try to do our accents, because it’s inaccurate. This is a specific southernish hillbilly stereotype. Would be like if I insisted all Brits had Cockney accents.
I'm American and I love this XD to be fair, a loooot of Americans think British accents are sexy
So, so true. I've heard a few different English accents, and loved them all.
Load More Replies...😂😂😂 I'm from Michigan, and there's a whole list of words we cram together. The Michigan accent is just a jumbled mess of shortening words into one another, so we can get our sentence out as quickly as possible.
Yupper and troll accents are so different tough, which do you mean?
Load More Replies...Oh man. Wait until they find out about Southern contractions. ("Y'all'd'n't've'f'I'dn't've" = "You all wouldn't have if I wouldn't have")
Can we talk about how they turn Craig into Greg? Because it's.....just wrong. Really.
Another thing to keep in mind with insults is that they change with time. What was once a joke that could pass as appropriate might no longer be available for whipping out in casual conversation. And vice versa.
“In many places in the U.S., jokes about gay people and cross-dressers are still regularly heard, but they have lost much of the meanness that was typical in earlier times,” elaborates Dr. Rubin. “I think that recent literature and films that depict these people in a much more sympathetic manner than the past is largely the reason for this.”
Do Europeans Have A Spice Rack?
Quick question, not being an a**e or anything, but why don't Americans pronounce Herbs how it is spelled, with a H rather than Erbs?
That's because of the 1828 Convention on Standardized Naming that was held in Philadelphia. There was a furious row between two would-be leaders Henry Hendricks and Thomas Black. The rivalry became quite personal and threatened to end the convention until the sixth day when Hendricks failed to attend the convention. He was never seen again. A victorious Thomas Black used his advantage to make the letter H silent in the word herb as a final insult to the man he is rumored to have disappeared. Honestly who the heck knows. If you can explain how aluminum got to be aluminium in British pronunciation you'll find your silent H.
Load More Replies...And the amounts of "cheese" Americans use...I mean, I don't need cheese in everything, thank you.
And yet America loves european food. (burgers, pizza, apple pie, hotdogs, bagels, dougnuts...)
You can have potato. Maybe with a Schnitzel. We also have different forms of potato. They still taste like salt.
Definitely gonna offend someone, but aren't they the reason spices are so popular, because they kept tryna get them
What with the spice trade literally having caused much of the original global colonization race by Europe...
I believe the OP really meant British food. They conquered the world to get spices they refused to use. Most of Europe has tasty food.
Celsius
Uh-oh, listen up you 185 countries that use Celsius (you can go back to sleep, you 10 countries that use Fahrenheit, all except one of which are American possessions or protectorates): the Americans have threatened to stop ourcallowance unless we see sense and revert to Fahrenheit immediately!
in 1975, we tried to convert to metric, chaos ensued.
Load More Replies...I heard a great explanation for this somewhere. They said, Fahrenheit be like, "Man, it's so hot out here. It must be like... 100 hots!"
OP, get shot 40 times. See if that makes 40 relate to a high number in your universe.
I guess I'm a dumb American b/c I have no idea what my fellow countrymen is talking about.
S'mores And The Great British Bake Off
The trick to a good s’more is to not let the marshmallow burst into flames over the campfire. That’s it. That’s all the instructions.
I feel like smores are supposed to be a more casually made dessert, not something you'd find professionally made in a grand kitchen.
Smores aren't supposed to be posh, they're a treat you make over a campfire.
Paul Hollywood does not represent the normal folk of the UK. Anyone who takes a simple and delicious camp food and makes it posh is frankly an ambiguous measure of butter head
Whatever the case, if you need more input on your comedic repertoire, this Bored Panda list about hilarious comebacks might just hit the spot.
Be sure to also check out Dr. Rubin’s work on From Insults To Respect as well as his “Cool Steve” trilogy of novels and a free ebook on dealing with criticism.
Or, if you’re already gifted at roasting people like they’re a rotisserie chicken, then why not share your know-how and jokes in the comment section below!
I Saw A Map That Compared Texas To Europe And I Didn’t Know That Texas Was So F**king Large
You may have states larger than the UK, and that doesn't change the fact that London is still f*cking huge.
Someone told a Brit that he could fit his entire country inside the state of Nebraska. The Brit replied "Of course. But why would I want to?"
Load More Replies...Pretty sure the Tesco in Peckham is always in a state of chaos around the time they put the yellow reduced stickers on stuff every day.
Australia has 4 states bigger than Texas,and 2 states bigger than Alaska.
Hey, this is between the US and Europe. Stay in your lane. (I'm totally kidding).
Load More Replies...Actually Rhode Island (1,214 mi²), the smallest state in the US, is twice the size of London (607 mi²)
Load More Replies...Oh yeah, well...well downtown London is bigger than my entire country, aha!
After riding through Canada (both West-East and South-North) and Alaska on a motorcycle, I realized that our flat maps have a lot to answer for. We stopped at a gas station in Tok Alaska and a local casually mentioned, "Yeah, everything here is always at least a day away from anything else." He was absolutely correct, and the same holds true of many parts of Canada.
Load More Replies...American Television According To Europeans
My American friend told me that when watching US tv shows 'when the black screen on a scene change lasts more than one second, that's when the US had commercials'. I was like, 'But that's nearly every scene!'
Generally in the USA a half hour show is actually a little over 20 min. The rest of the time is filled with commercials
Load More Replies...When watching American shows in the Uk, you can tell where they have all their ad breaks and so often I'm like "wow, I would have given up watching this show by now if I had to deal with so many as breaks!"
What I hate (in germany) when I watch a show; it´s like 15 minutes before the scheduled end, so they could just keep the last minutes running, right? Nope! Another block of commercials five minutes before the end, just to return back to the show so the show host can announce the End of the show 😑
They do that here in the U.S. as well… “We’ll be right back with more [show]!”. No you won’t. This is ending in two minutes.
Load More Replies...I mean, that's about right, actually. Esp the last 20 minutes of the evening news. They will come back from a 5-minute commercial break, take 15 seconds or so to tell you what story is coming up, then go to another 3-min. break. Like WTF!
My favorite was taking a break during the commercial break to remind me what I'm watching then show more commercials
this is the American hatred I'm here for. Hate the things we also hate, like commercials.
Someone: "American's Aren't Uneducated!" Americans:
I think I met Alvita Zane in passing. She was on her way out.
If you say it loud they are pretty close. Whomever they spoke to apparently spoke clear (no dialect). Anyways - that's not roasting. IMO That's just being mean. ||| Spelling words of a language you don't know, after just hearing them, is horribly difficult. The level of education doesn't matter here
Auf wiedersehn. I think that is right. It's been twenty years since I took german.
Don’t mention “voilà”. Aussies say “wal la” and spell it that way too 😭
NGL, I always start with 'Alf wiedesain', then keep adjusting until spell checker knows what I'm on about.
Please elaborate Rizzo, I'm a tad slow with what you've posted. Not being funny in any way,shape or form.
Load More Replies...After All The Years Of British People Saying Americans Don’t Know Anything
In defence of the GBBO, I suspect in the Mexican equivalent nobody would be able to pronounce Worcestershire sauce or know what a plum duff is...
Now I want to know what Mexicans think about spotted di*k
Load More Replies...They say TACKo. End of story. I bet they’d put mayonnaise in their tortillas.
I saw a youtube video from a lovely German lady who uses avocados in egg dishes . . . and then puts ketchup on the avocado. I had to stop watching.
Load More Replies...I'm a devoted fan, and Mexican week was an embarrassment top to bottom.
When I left central Pennsylvania about 25ish years ago I was talking to an old friend. The hot gossip was they were putting a Mexican restaurant in where the old Arby's used to be. It was a taco Bell. That is not Mexican.
Load More Replies...I can understand why it would be the case, but do Brits not have Mexican food? It’s a basic staple in the US.
Possibly because the US borders Mexico, and the UK does not
Load More Replies...-Mexican food -Are they just trying to give Americans something to mock
Americans
Over the years of living in the UK I have adapted to using the British names for things (elevator/lift, sidewalk/pavement, vacation/holiday etc), but I will not give up my pronunciation of mirror......it will always be "mir" to me lol.
I do believe there is a separate age verified part of the internet for whore movies
A country that spends its time cutting words off - bruh for borough, um for ham, worstershire for worcestershire is making fun of how Americans talk?
My Northern Irish brother in law pronounces "mirror" like he's having a stroke. MMURRR
To be fair a lot of the US accent owes much to the NI/Scots pronunciation - esp in Appalachia. It sounds very familiar to me 🙂
Load More Replies...Growing up in the American South, I called a garden hose a "hose pipe". Moving around the US, I discovered this was a colloquialism, and I tried to prune it from my vocabulary, using instead, garden hose, or water hose. I mean, it is either a flexible hose, or a fixed pipe, it can't be both! Then I saw an episode of the UK's "Top Gear".......
Well, the piece that sticks out of the wall that the hose connects to is the hose pipe. The flexible tube that gets rolled/unrolled to put the water where you want it is just a hose.
Load More Replies...Say what now? I can assure you that *no* British accent even remotely resembles that.
Load More Replies...Football
New sport! Play both ways, same field, simultaneously! Four teams take the field but teams for both versions are paired up and can help each other out...
I always love knowing that you guys call it hand egg.
Load More Replies...I live in American. I'm so confused how someone invented a new sport, and decided to call it football (and American football barely use feet, only a tiny bit) and name the normal football soccer. Just name American football soccer, and everything would be so much simpler!
The term soccer came from Britain, posh types calling Association Football soccer and Rugby Football rugger don'tcherknow.
Load More Replies...i actually kinda liked these lol, rather than make fun of a single country, let's just make fun of all of them haha. we're all weird might as well laugh at it
I'd agree, but then we'd get all the haters. Irish have good self deprecating humour, but then all the Irish hating Brits would jump onboard, and it'd become toxic. Shame.
Load More Replies...Ok, once again, Americans are all uneducated idiots that can't tie their own shoes. Sigh.
To be honest, this one actually isn't that bad. It's everyone making fun about everyone
Load More Replies...I have an honest question for all the Americans here: If you say someone is Indian, how do you know if it's a native American person or someone from India?
These day's I'm pretty sure the type of people who would still call Natives, Indian, wouldn't even know the country India exists
Load More Replies...Do people really care? Yes, I love my country & I'm proud that we are a bit odd. Blimey, stop arguing, we're mates aren't we? Different is good.
A couple of these seemed angry, but most were people having good fun back and forth across the pond :)
I am really sorry to say that but to me most Americans sound as if they were brainwashed. No, US isn't the best country in the world and definitely not the only one where people are free. Obviously I don't think they are all stupid as I know some who are definitely not but the once I know have been around the world and it shows. Unfortunately like everywhere the most stupid once are the loudest, that goes for every country in the world
Have you talked to most Americans, how exactly did you determine most were brainwashed?
Load More Replies...i actually kinda liked these lol, rather than make fun of a single country, let's just make fun of all of them haha. we're all weird might as well laugh at it
I'd agree, but then we'd get all the haters. Irish have good self deprecating humour, but then all the Irish hating Brits would jump onboard, and it'd become toxic. Shame.
Load More Replies...Ok, once again, Americans are all uneducated idiots that can't tie their own shoes. Sigh.
To be honest, this one actually isn't that bad. It's everyone making fun about everyone
Load More Replies...I have an honest question for all the Americans here: If you say someone is Indian, how do you know if it's a native American person or someone from India?
These day's I'm pretty sure the type of people who would still call Natives, Indian, wouldn't even know the country India exists
Load More Replies...Do people really care? Yes, I love my country & I'm proud that we are a bit odd. Blimey, stop arguing, we're mates aren't we? Different is good.
A couple of these seemed angry, but most were people having good fun back and forth across the pond :)
I am really sorry to say that but to me most Americans sound as if they were brainwashed. No, US isn't the best country in the world and definitely not the only one where people are free. Obviously I don't think they are all stupid as I know some who are definitely not but the once I know have been around the world and it shows. Unfortunately like everywhere the most stupid once are the loudest, that goes for every country in the world
Have you talked to most Americans, how exactly did you determine most were brainwashed?
Load More Replies...
