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Someone Asked, “What’s A Sad Truth You Only Realize When You’re An Adult?”, Here Are 58 Of The Most Honest Responses
Adulting is hard, not just because you can no longer depend on your parents and be sure where your next meal comes from. Often, adulting is realizing that things are way different from what you imagined them to be when you were little. When you are older, you first learn that it’s not Santa who puts all the gifts underneath the Christmas tree or that your beloved pet did not actually “leave to live on a farm in the countryside.” Though learning truths as such is often sad and disappointing, those are still seemingly innocent facts we learn early in life.
However, you know you are getting older when you start to understand why Peter Pan never wanted to grow up, why Squidward just wanted peace and some alone time, why Garfield hated Mondays, and why Moe might be the most relatable character in The Simpsons. Adulthood is full of discoveries, and learning harsh truths about life is a part of it. To learn more about those, some time ago, a user on AskReddit asked, “What’s a sad truth you only realize when you’re an adult?” And hundreds of people jumped on the thread to reveal the many harsh truths they only learned once they became older.
Below, we’ve compiled the many adult realizations and sad facts about life that many have learned once they become adults. Any sad truths about adulthood that you can relate to? Give those an upvote. Also, what’s a sad truth about life that you have learned only recently or years into becoming an adult? Share your thoughts in the comments!
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#1
"At some point doors start closing and some of those things you thought you’d do “someday” are no longer an option."
RELATED:
#2
Wildlife_King said: "You never finish cleaning your kitchen." Fighting_Patriarchy replied: "I recently saw where someone referred to it as "resetting the kitchen" instead of cleaning, and that's helped me a little."
#3
moto_x_crash said: "Very few people actually know what they're doing." flyingninja129 replied: "Actually it’s pretty encouraging, because I too have no idea what I’m doing." Oxygene13 also replied: "My career is IT, and the field is filled with jokes about people googling answers and just turning it off and on again. However also horrifically prevalent in all the chat rooms and groups about career IT people is the constant sense of Imposter Syndrome. The ever-prevalent feeling that any second someone is going to discover that you don't actually know what you are doing (despite regular evidence to the contrary). Such a high percentage appear to suffer from this, probably because there is so much to know in the field. Just because you are 'good at IT' doesn't necessarily mean you are an expert at programming, or network engineering, or hardware repair or excel."
SlothyK8 2 years ago
I felt this. I feel like such a phony and I've been doing this for 20yrs.
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
Ah, yes. I've been doing it for 41 years. You get even less of an idea as you age :D
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Robert Trebor 2 years ago
I went three-quarters of my time in the Navy (15 years), waiting for them to catch on that I had no idea what I was doing. Then I realized that I DID know what I was doing and had all along. Just felt like a fraud for way too long. Finally got myself together. Then I retired from the Navy and it started all over again.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago (edited)
No matter how old you are, you'll repeatedly encounter situations that are new to you.
Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
You only have to look at the multi million IT disasters everywhere to realise that there is an incredible amount of incompetence in that field and worse, a tolerance for that incompetence that would not be found in any other discipline
#4
"Nothing is truly "free". Everything either costs time or money."
LeeAnne B 2 years ago
Or other people are paying for it. When a country says "free healthcare" or "free schooling" for certain people, it means tax payers are subsidizing you. It's not free. The tax base of that country is paying the price.
Lindilou 2 years ago
The NHS in UK is a good example. It is brilliant system (in theory) but it is free at the point of contact, it is not free. All UK citizens pay for it in taxes.
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#5
whatwoulddiggydo said:
"That your happiness needs to come from you. You can’t depend on others for it. If you’re going to find joy, you need to find it in yourself every day. Your choice."
allsoldoutoflimes replied:
"Change your way of thinking. You can be happy now without doing anything physically different. Hold gratitude for the things that make you feel happy and warm, whether your family, friends, pets, bed, blankets, coffee, wine, whiskey, playlist, car, hobby, book, nature, exercise, whatever. Embrace and be thankful that you have it, and that you can smile from it. Happiness is an ongoing attitude, it isn't a destination."
Jennifer Clayton 2 years ago
Neutral is underrated. It's exhausting and unrealistic trying to be happy all the time. It distracts from real humility and general progress. When happiness comes, go nuts and enjoy it because it isn't there all the time. But also find peace in neutral moments and the lack of burden to maintain it.
#6
"The serotonin doesn't floweth as easy in adulthood."
Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
Did the opposite for me. Twitches, tics and bit my cheeks & lips in my sleep. Only used it a month but it took nearly a year for the effects to fade.
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#7
"You'll be more exhausted than before."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
People need to cut themselves some slack and be okay with naps, going to bed as early as they possibly can. It's okay to say no to late plans with people and not be "productive" until they pass out from sheer exhaustion.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
Welp, back to bed for me. Hopefully I can return to that dream I was having where chicken nuggets were coming out of the shower instead of water.
#8
"Not everyone thinks like you."
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I feel like this is learned as you grow up too. I mean, often your parents don't think like you and you often find as you go through school that your friends don't think like you, which is why friendships change or stop.
#9
"Most things about life suck. Honestly. Bills, work, taxes, maintaining a car, getting nowhere, fear of poverty... screw it all."
Justin Rogers 2 years ago
Get a job you like. Nothing in the constitution says you have to pay taxes. Buy a reliable car or better yet get a bike or a horse or hoof it. You are stuck with yourself not life. Be poor and happy
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Well, the bills have to get paid in order to have your internet, electricity, heat, air conditioning, water, and have a comfortable home.
#10
HopelessTrousers said: "The simple act of existing is incredibly expensive." StoicEnglishMajor replied: "Existing is not simple, it's probably the most complicated thing you'll ever experience." BurpYoshi replied: "I find it odd that humans are forced to live in society. Like, I personally like it and wouldn't choose to leave, but it's strange that you can't just go book a flight to an untouched region of the world, renounce yourself from society and live as a wild animal like the natural way humans once were." samwoo2go replied: "You can though. You don’t have to file tax returns if you make under the min amount required to pay taxes and there is nothing stopping you from just withdrawing from society and live off of BLM land somewhere. I’m sure there are people out there doing exactly that right now. Someone told me once that there are only 3 kinds of people in Alaska, those who don’t like people, running away from something, or both. Seems to be top destination for disappearing from society."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
You COULD try to live away from society, but people are social creatures. Even reclusive people rely on society if it's from a distance, or some companion creature to talk to. 100% isolation can make people lose their minds and hallucinate. Cast Away is a somewhat good example.
Khall Khall 2 years ago
Yeah the problem with this is when you get old or sick and can't take care of yourself any more. I think that's the main purpose of society from a purely selfish point of view. I carry the old people before me so the next generation will do the same for me.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Well, but Anchorage is a city of over a quarter million people. And another group of people who end up in Alaska are people who got stationed there, and lots of them stay
#11
"Life is much more expensive once you got to pay for s**t."
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I remember being a teen and thinking "why would you ever live in a rental, it's just wasted money". Then I was in my early 20s and wanted to be independent, and of course you can't just get a mortgage, so renting it is.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
It's more expensive but not as expensive than I used to think. Before I first moved out I was scared about what bills I could afford and rent. Rent was much, much cheaper back then. I was scared of locking myself into contracts and getting a housephone, thinking I couldn't afford it.
#12
"You don't get wasted time back."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
What exactly is "wasted time"? There are people who volunteer to do things they don't want to be doing then complain they aren't getting that time back when they just could've said no thanks. If you're idling, relaxing doing something that's not heavily productive but something you enjoy, that's not "wasted time". It's just allowing yourself to have a moment free of focusing on responsibilities. That's ok.
JinxBox 2 years ago
Idling is awesome. I think "wasted time" would be a period of missing several years fighting to come over an addiction or maybe struggling to find any joy in a case of anxiety disorder. There are things that only make one weaker, and that some really lose control over.
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#13
thumbwarvictory said: "At some point, everything you do, you'll do it for the last time, but you won't even know it." babyybirch replied: "I think about this a lot with final interactions/touches/conversations with people, how you never know when it’s the last time. It’s really sad."
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
My Mama told us, "Always tell the people you love how important they are to you. Tell them you love and cherish them when you part, because you may never get another chance."
Oliver Kettle 2 years ago
You never know if its going to be a "Last seen online: 9 Years ago" Moment
Parker 2 years ago
When you read this comment and look into the distance you start having a flashback of all your friends Jo longer online with sad music playing in your head…
Load More Replies... #14
"Growing up watching movies and hearing stories and seeing the good things in life only as a kid, but growing up and realizing that quality of life is actually really sh***y for people, and being an adult is hard. Everyone wishes life was a simple as being a kid again."
#16
PieBarm69 said: "The older you get, the faster time appears to pass by. A year when you’re 10 is a tenth of your whole life, a year when you’re 40 is much less significant." imbuzzedatm replied: "Especially if you have kids. The days get longer and the years seem shorter." BOSH09 replied: "School weeks are forever and the weekend is a blink. I hate it. I’m tired." the_stoned_ranger also replied: "Having children permanently warped my perception of time. You won’t notice much of a change in appearance when catching up with an old friend after a year or two, but kids development and change at such an exponential rate that it blows my f***ing mind. Then you get into the day-to-day grind of work, cooking/cleanup from dinner, baths, bedtime, and once the kids are asleep trying to catch up on laundry or in general tidying up. When your days are full they go fast. When I worked as a line-cook I’d look up and 7 hours had flown in by. Having kids is kind of like that. Wouldn’t change it though. There is a reason people say, “Cherish it — it goes so fast.” It really does. My days are full and crazy, but I’d rather them be that way than empty and lonely."
StrangeOne 2 years ago (edited)
I noticed this and it scared me. Still does. I'm scared my whole life is going to pass by and I'll be on my deathbed before I know it. It's such a fear I now slow down and focus on enjoying, or taking in the events of the day, rather than just trying to get through them, and appreciating each day rather than looking forward to the weekend, which is just a Friday evening and 2 days out of 7 days a week. The more I thought about it, the more miserable it seemed to live like that. Time has started to seem slower. I am tired often but then I'll go to bed really early if I have to. F**k trying to force productivity. Save that for work. I'm not getting paid on my own time. At least not enough to make it worth suffering.
Shelby Moonheart 2 years ago
The pandemic has warped my sense of time too. I don't always know what day of the week it is. Calendars are very good things
#17
lilapplesaucy said: "There aren’t any really safety nets for people with mental illness and disabilities and if you don’t have a support system to lean on you’re pretty much f***ed. I’m bipolar and ADHD and have no healthcare or family that can help me. I live alone and most days can’t even get out of bed. I’m lucky to have found a job that I can handle but it’s not consistent work and I often have to let bills lapse or go without things. The older I get, the harder it gets because I’m supposed to have more security when increasingly I have less and less. If I were hospitalized at any point, I’d likely lose my apartment and my cat. There’s not much I can do except keep trying to get on Medicaid so I can get back on meds and back into therapy. When I was a kid I thought I’d get treatment and then be able to live somewhat normally while managing my meds. My experience hasn’t been anything close to that and as a result, has led to me being a lot of traumatizing and toxic situations. It’s relatively impressive I’m not addicted to any hard drugs at this point. But yeah, I’ll just read Enders's game and keep trying really hard." FutureNostalgica replied: "I have a family member who is a rapid cycler- I wish no one had to deal with such issues, and there absolutely should be support and more options than figure out how to take care of it or be hospitalized. Not that does anything for you, but If I lived near you I would absolutely take care of your cat for you if that ever happened. With my family member animals are a big part of keeping him grounded/ reminding him to here is a reason to keep taking care of himself when he wants to give in to the depression (and when he’s manic he shops, so they get a lot of treats."
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
I'm rapid cycling, bipolar, OCD, and ADHD. There are days I just want to stay in bed and hum the alphabet song while eating an entire container of vanilla ice cream with an iced tea spoon. So I GET you. Cats help. I toyed with having two, as the one I have prefers my son; but I don't know if I could manage being responsible for three lives other than my own. Hang in there. Can't say it will get better, but my prayers are for it to not get worse.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I feel like I have something abnormal going on but not sure. Learning and mental disorders were not on my mom's nor the school's radar to even think of getting me assessed. I don't know where to turn to now to get assessed or if that would cost anything. My job says my emotional stability is inconsistent. I try to control it but it's getting harder. I don't know where the anxiety is coming from or how to control it. All I know is I get my mom's voice in my head "if you're going to do something, do it right. Do it right the first time. Don't go to anyone to fix your mistakes." I make so many mistakes and don't do anything right the first time.
Natalie Kelsey 2 years ago
I'm sorry OP is going through that, I wish I could help other people who are dealing with this. I have the same combination of conditions, and I'm living a relatively normal, healthy life because I have a good spouse and a great network of family and friends and a church. I have medicine and therapy and a steady income and safe home. I know I'm lucky. I know I would be dead or hurt or would have hurt someone else by now if I didn't have this whole scaffolding of support keeping me steady.
#18
goatsandwich43 said: "That old age isn’t a sudden drop off of a cliff, it's a constant process that you will never be able to stop, you might not even notice it’s happening until you look back at old photos of yourself." UnicornPanties replied: "Or all the clothes you're no longer willing to wear. I have a bunch of skirts and dresses that seem a bit too short for my tastes and inappropriate for my age now." cleo_wafflesmack also replied: "My BF and I have been together for about 12 years and we're in our early 40s. 2 nights ago I looked across the table at him and for the first time he looked middle-aged to me. Not saying that I didn't notice him getting older over the years and I certainly look my age, but it just really hit me that night."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
When I look back at my 20s self I look much younger than a 20s something. When I was in Grade 9, me and the rest of the class saw the Grade 7s as these little kids. We were like, "were we this short and young looking?"
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I recently had the same realisation looking at my dad. He has always looked younger than is age. In his 50s he could have passed for someone in their 30s. He is now 66 and he suddenly looks old. Maybe still not as old as his age, but certainly much closer to it than before.
#19
"That life is mostly pointless."
Hill Branda 2 years ago (edited)
Well...yes and no. You find things that you enjoy, you seek out people who make you happy, you try to help others--even if it's just in small ways. To paraphrase Dickinson: if you lessen the suffering of one creature, then your life is not in vain.
noturmum 2 years ago
I think that's beautiful and a great way to think :)
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
It's that saying "find something to do to pass the time" and "kids need something to do to burn off all that energy." that makes life seem like bed time is the goal, the destination to look forward to, or something to just for being alive. What really is the point? Much of it is to fulfill satisfaction. Most of the jobs people do are to provide a service merely to make things more convenient and comfortable for people, but not necessary for our survival. We're the only species on this planet that doesn't work directly for our survival needs. Sure we earn money, but we got to work for our money, then go out and spend that money for the things we need to survive. Or what we think we need to survive on. We're distracted, though, confused by wants and needs. We want so many things because society produces a ton of nice stuff that isn't necessary but nice to have.
Kim Kermes 2 years ago (edited)
No it isn't. I've learned, experienced, enjoyed, been helped, (a lot of not so good too) taught, amused, and helped. That's enough of a point.
Jennifer Clayton 2 years ago
You were learning in school, even when you were bored and it seemed pointless.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
"The point of life isn't to search for meaning - just keep yourself occupied with unimportant nonsense, and eventually you'll be dead."
#20
Redditor said:
"For 99.99% of us, within about 3 generations, no one will remember you and no one will care to remember you."
smolspooderfriend replied:
"I don't quite know why but I find this comforting."
Probablyprofanity replied:
"I think it's because all the mistakes you make will sort of be erased. If nothing matters, then all the bad stuff doesn't matter, and that's comforting when your life is mostly bad stuff."
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
Thank goodness no-one will be putting up a big bronze memorial to the time I tripped over at a book party and spilled champagne on Australia's most respected author. No doubt I'm already the only person who still remembers that.
Paul Navarrete 2 years ago
I'm not troubled by not being remembered by people who are irrelevant to me. I don't even need to wait 3 generations. There are people on the other side of the world, other side of the country, other side of the city who don't know me. And yet my happiness persists. And if that first sentence sounds harsh, it comes with the understanding that I am also irrelevant to them. That understanding part of my happiness. I don't need to waste my time trying to please the irrelevant.
#21
"My father wasn’t hard on me because he wanted the best for me; he was hard on me because he saw me as a reflection of his self-worth."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Bingo. My mom pushes perfection and her views on to me, expects me to conform to her ways. I'm realizing it's because she's living through me and doesn't want to deal with compromising and understand things she doesn't want to understand. It's too much of a bother to her.
#22
Redditor said: "Work until you’re too old to enjoy life. What kind of bulls*** is that?" Rebel-Yellow replied: "I type out of my a** because I really have no idea but the majority of us in the workforce now will never really get the opportunity to retire and those accounts we're paying into just ensure even more comfort to those already guarenteed a cushy life. People get mad when I "joke" about never getting to retire so why the f*** care about putting any and all spare money into an account for later. I make highly specialized meds for fringe case child cancer patients, yet I barely break 16 an hour. The idea of 'retirement' is hilarious and I can only hope I'll be long dead by the time it's projected 'retirement' could happen. I daydream about winning the lottery and either throwing huge chunks of it at paying off local student debt or trying to do things that might make living accessible. 850+ for the baseline 1BR apartment that's probably infested with problems is ridiculous, what the f**k kind of income can support that on just base rent alone?"
#23
"As much as we hated school, we should have tried taking it seriously and learning all the subjects to the best of our ability and, if possible, requested extra study or programs, learning later on life is hard as there are less programs available to brush up or become more skilled, and most certainly, these programs can be moderately expensive to very expensive as there's very few programs that are government funded that will help much, and if there are some, they are usually very busy and have wait times. So, any kids reading this, even if you hate school, grab all the subjects by the balls and milk them and do the best you can."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
When I was a kid it felt like such a forced thing every kid is pushed into. Kids don't even get a say or a chance to really explore what they're interested. Well, they can but their interests are treated like hobbies and discouraged to dive deep into them, as the teachers and parents want kids to focus on the areas they suck at.
Jennifer Clayton 2 years ago
It isn't about sticking with what you're good at but learning everything you need to know to get by in life.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 2 years ago
'To the best of our ability' for many people is just getting through school. On the other hand, in year 12 I was my happiest I ever was as far as socialisation, but I let my school work slip. I still got pretty good grades, but I did the bare minimum to get them. This meant that I was 10 points (we have a weird complicated grading system with standard deviation I won't get into) off what I had expected, meaning I didn't qualify for my top uni choice. Worked out for the best though, as I went to a smaller uni that was a better fit anyway and I have that great year 12 to look back on. I do wish I had studied a language past year 8 though, when I would have had people to practice it with.
#24
sharpy_626 said: "That school wasn't as bad as you thought it was. So much you could do as a kid just isn't that possible as an adult." olearygreen replied: "I disagree with this. Could have done 6 years of school in 4. High school is a giant waste of time. Even more so looking back than I already thought it was going through it. School was not bad but such a giant waste of time."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
If I could have a do-over I would participate in extracurricular sports and other school programs. The only time I wasn't bullied so much was during intramurals. I sorta wished I took music over art. The music class was too focused on playing instruments than pestering me on what I was doing. The assignments are straightforward and not much needed of help from the teacher. It wasn't an area I was known as being really good at, which would mean i wouldn't have had that assumed expectation I can do everything superbly.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
For the second point though, school isn't just the schoolwork. You might have been able to complete that in less time, but school is also about socialization, maturing, learning about yourself and your own mind and many more things. Rushing through it isn't necessarily a good thing.
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
"Show me a man who enjoyed his schooldays, and I'll show you a bully and a bore." - Dr Johnson
#26
endofthedamnrope said: "Ultimately, you’re on your own. Sure people might love and care for you but when it comes down to it, it’s just you." fjongfasong replied: "Agreed, I realized this at the age of 39, with the sole responsibility of two kids." 69No-Satisfaction69 also replied: "I realized this now during Corona. I also lately became anxious about my mother dying from high blood pressure, if I wouldn't have her, there wouldn't be another one, who unconditionally supports and loves me. We are so far removed from this big family of a tribe, humans used to have, which makes me so sad because I always wanted something like that."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
My mom has helped me heaps but keeps reminding me she won't be around forever.
Glengoolie Blue 2 years ago
Embrace it. Be as independent as possible now and you'll never have to fear.
#27
polzkaa said: "Your paychecks are always disappointing." Redditor replied: "And they’re spent too quickly." KotexAvenger also replied: "The week is long and the check is short, that's for damn sure."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Just think. There are people out there who make very, very good money and still strive for more and don't think they get paid enough for their job.
#28
User No 1 said: "Accepting yourself for wanting a partner. I feel like in this day in age, we glorify independency. But supreme independence isn’t ideal, at least for me. Of course, it’s good to do certain things on your own but having a partner by your side is great also." ultravioletblueberry replied: "I feel it’s the opposite. I find that most people are obsessive about needing to find love and be with someone. I think it’s important to learn to be okay being alone with yourself before you enter into a relationship so it doesn’t create a toxic codependent dynamic." UnicornPanties also replied: "I'm in your lane. Similarly, I don't want to be stuck/trapped with someone who I don't enjoy being around just because we decided to move in together (and breaking up/moving out is HARD), yikes. Then what if they betray you in some awful way? Being single is pretty easy-peasy really."
LeeAnne B 2 years ago
Single. Ok with it. And no, I don't have a lot of friends I go out with. I'm talking true solitude, going out by myself. Eating out alone. Not on my phone, no FB no IG, just being in that moment. It's peace.
Maebe Maeve 2 years ago
Fellow single person here and I wouldn't have it any other way. After one marriage, one relationship resulting in a child, and other short-term relationships (many of them actually quite fun and with nice people), I've found singledom is the perfect life for me. So peaceful and full of joy.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I tell so many, particularly newer adults, that you need to have a break between partners sometimes to get to know who you are as an individual and how to be okay on your own. You don't have to be single forever but you need some down time.
#29
"The adults aren’t any brighter than children, things make less sense in the “adult world”."
Rhonda Wandler 2 years ago
Are you kidding? Who buildsall of the infrastructure that you take for granted ffs - learn how to make something useful.
#30
"The world will most likely never improve."
sofacushionfort 2 years ago
This one was a bitter pill for my generation. 1975: “Vietnam was our longest war, fought for a lie, and lost.” 2003: “Hold my beer!”
Khall Khall 2 years ago
The world gets better constantly. Don't believe this. It doesn't get better for all people at the same time all the time. Some people it gets worse for. This is true. But...imagine living in the 1950s, the 1850s, the 1750s. Civil rights, eye glasses, surgery, education, nutrition...the past was the worst!
#31
"You have fewer friends in adulthood. Also, when you're at school or university, pretty much everyone is the same age as you so you have lots in common. When you work in an office when you're older there's a good chance that everyone will be different ages and few will have the same things in common."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I don't associate age with commonalities. I got along better with people older than me, and some kids who were younger than me because I still enjoyed playing with toys in my teenhood. I got made fun of too much by everyone my age.
真壁まつり 2 years ago
Wee same here I enjoy being a polite kid to those who are older and a caring friend to those who are younger
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I have a number of work friends and church friends of differing ages and we still have heaps in common. Even at uni many of my friends were different ages. I think there is a difference between having things in common and being at the same stage of life and it is good to have friends who have already gone through the things you are facing.
#32
"Everyone you’ve ever met will die someday."
#33
"That a lot of what you are told is the point of life in the US is a lie. It is there to make you a reliable workforce for the wealth."
#35
"Maturity has nothing to do with your actually age, and you'll start to notice many of the adults you looked up to are just children who are pretending. To me it felt like losing some connection that I felt was always understood until... I grew up more, and now I see all those connections were just kinda... faked/misunderstandings or something. It's hard to describe kinda."
#36
Jesmer8490 said: "That there are very few people that truly care about you as a person." buddhabuddha replied: "Christ this is so depressing. I think this is made worse by how much our society has expanded. In small groups everyone has a role to play and the well-being of one member is important to everyone else because it directly impacts the whole group. Once you get into populations in the thousands, it’s impossible to care about everyone and each person is more expendable/replaceable. It’s easy to become invisible and just coast through life only being valued for the work you can do, or when people need something from you, and forgotten the instant you’re no longer useful."
Khall Khall 2 years ago
But is that better? Only being cared about because you're "valuable" in some way? By that metric pariah castes are 'valuable' to a society but I don't want to trade places with them in any culture in history.
#37
Redditor said: "Being around the wrong people can seriously decrease your quality of life." freeloadingcat replied: "That's why the rich goes to private school and ivy league..." AverageSizeWayne replied: "I pretty much did. It’s worse than being around normal people." JohhnyTheKik also replied: "From my experience private schools are often way worse in terms of bullying and toxicity."
#38
"It’s sad to say but sometimes how shallow people can be (myself included). People easily like to make quick judgments about you based on your ethnicity, race, gender, beauty, income, and profession thinking they know everything about you and who are you; when in fact these factors don’t define a person’s character, intelligence, capacities and who they truly are as a person."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I get this at times. I've been accused of stealing, using fake $20 bills, not taking care of my daughter, not working, being on welfare (especially when my kid was a kid), being a racist, all falsely accused for unknown reasons other than pre-conceived assumptions based on whatever it is they saw. It pisses me off to end.
#39
"That “Happily ever after” is a complete crock of s***."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
"Happily ever after" just means "stop asking what happens next and go to sleep.".
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
If you were happy ever after, would you know you were happy? Would your perception of your happiness change the further you got from your trials?
Conan 2 years ago
nope this depends on your own expectations if you think you will be a princess or some dumb s**t like that then yes you will be disappointed, but if your happily ever after is getting married and owning a house with two cats and one kid then maybe this can be obtainable and you will be happy but it all depends on you
#40
"For a period of time, you will find yourself in the cycle of "need a car to go to work; mostly going to work to afford my car"."
#42
"Going to school is the easiest thing you're going to have to do."
#43
paletapt said: "Everything seems to be too expensive when we have to work for it." Raskolnikovo replied: "This depends on many things. One factor is how much money you received from your parents growing up. The other is how high the purchase power in your country is. I was raised in Colombia by very restrictive parents (in terms of money), then I moved to Germany and started working minimum wage and I feel I'm rich lol."
#44
OptimalBeans said: "That you're going to college to work at a job that cares absolutely nothing about you or your family. Meaning that if you're a good employee it means nothing. You have to switch from job to job if you ever want to make more money which is the dumbest thing in my opinion. If you're a good employee and do your job right you should get raises." UncleSub replied: "I dunno, I worked at a hotel, went from server to manager and could've probably gone up after that. left for another job, went from assistant to a real position (currently in training but still a new title and a huge raise) will then be a fully trained employee with a raise again. And if I do well I can most likely become a manager there too. If not, then yeah I can move... but yes, I work weekends and extra hours all the time because I want to move up. I get it, you can move higher and faster by switching jobs, it is proven I am not saying it is not. Just saying it is not dead, at a lot of jobs if you do amazingly well you will move up. However yes, at some, you won't move up no matter how well you do... I agree with that." OptimalBeans also replied: "It depends where you work. When you work for a company like I do (IT) with 150,000 employees that’s stationed in France and outsources most of its employees it’s dif. If you work for a hotel that is basically run by the staff there it’s a little different. Try working for a multinational corporation and tell me you can move up easily and raises are guaranteed."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I don't know how people job hop and get positions that make more. I went from one entry position at a company then tried finding a job with a higher position. I didn't pass the interview. Found another job but it's also an entry position and starting at min. wage. It doesn't always matter what you were doing at your last job, how much you were getting paid. The next employer just wants a position filled by someone they deemed qualified and pay you how much they want to pay you. Raises have to be earned through effort, growth in performance and staying in my experience.
#45
"You will never find more than 1, maybe 2, people who actually give a s*** about you or your well-being."
#46
"There is no point, and you are not special."
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Special doesn't necessarily mean better than others. You are special, to yourself, your family, life in general, but you are not better than anyone else. The way this is phrased makes it seem like there is no reason for you to live. The reason is that you are alive and you can try to be the best, most you person you can be, but don't think that puts you above anyone else, because you everyone is doing the same.
#47
DM-Hollens-117 said: "Even parents with the best intentions will still f**k you up." Redditor replied: "My parent's "love" and "care" was disguised as verbal and emotional abuse to get me to comply with how they wanted life to be like. If I didn't work with it, I would have things taken away (including pets,) and would have to work for their love and attention. It has sadly affected me as an adult, though I have worked through it and now acknowledge how it affects me (I was a huge people pleaser for a long time.) The sad part about all of it is, that my parents still think they did the right thing and that it was "tough love" though looking back it was mostly arbitrary. Like, who the f**k rehomes a kid's pet because they aren't interested in playing an instrument?"
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Verbal and mental manipulative abuse is not an act of care and love. It's an excuse to make you think you need to pardon their s****y parenting. Just because someone birthed you doesn't mean they think of you as an individual and hold a strong bond and sense of deep love for you as an individual. Some parents see their newborn babies as blank humans they can bring up to be whom the parents want them to be.
#48
"Seconds are constantly ticking away and we’re all dying as we speak. Also the world keeps spinning and people keep growing. People you once knew and loved grow without you. It’s a tough pill to swallow."
#49
COVID-69420bbq said: "Life in general is an endless version of high school, it's just that people's bodies continue to age and the setting changes." Agorm replied: "Really? I work in a school nowadays but other than that I don't see the similarities. Haven't been bullied at work. I'm not trying to be cool or whatever to fit in. People don't really care what you do in general as long that their work doesn't suffer from it(colleagues). Have to pay taxes. Have to pay bills. It just day in day out the same basically. I remember high school as a much more carefree period tbh. But with a lot more social drama..."
#50
"Adult life is literally just working 9-5, eating, sleeping, showering, and fu***ng. Everyone is literally s** crazed as adults, I didn't realize it until I was like 25."
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
I guess I'm not everyone? Many things I'd rather do than boinking.
Paul Navarrete 2 years ago
It is funny how many of these posts are just projection. "I'm sex crazed, so everyone else must be too." "I'm stuck with a high school mentality, so everyone else must think the same way." "I hate my job, so we all must hate our jobs."
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
I'm an adult and I'm definitely not bonking all the time. Or the slightest bit interested in doing so.
#51
"Time is relative and to us. The last decades of our life, although a longer duration will speed by faster than our youth. As time runs out it also speeds up until you realize at the end that you should of done more and now its too late."
#52
"That for better or for worse life goes on. Something good happened today? Great, today ends and tomorrow comes. Something terrible happened today? That sucks, same thing. Moments good and bad are fleeting, nothing ACTUALLY matters. The sun will rise tomorrow with or without you. Your loved ones may remember you but when they are gone you will Be lost to the sands of time."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I had a mental breakdown at work, an anxiety attack and was moving faster than it was safe. But I also tend to get hustled to tend to my co-workers than others. It gets to me. Other things were getting to me, too. I felt everything build up. My supervisor reassigned me to a different task for a bit. I felt like I was going to really get it. Always feel like this is it. I'm getting fired. Takes a while for me to shift my thinking away from what caused anxiety inducing thoughts and getting away from the situation does help, but I still worry it's causing me to be a liability. I'm still employed and had a good review, so I must be doing things right. Mental breakdowns are not a regular occurance at least.
#53
"Every person you will ever know only likes you for what you can give them. Money, food, love, a place to stay, conversation, a car... what it is doesn't matter, but you have to give them something. You are the same way with everyone you will ever meet."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Having a keen sense of who's just around to get something out of you helps weed them out and provides some insight on what you can do to not be the same way.
#54
"I'm only 18 and I was at a family diner the other day for my grandpa's 70th birthday. At this diner was also my little cousin who's 2 years old. And a couple of times through the whole night I realized how happy and excited she was about anything and everything only to notice the adults just half-heartedly giving a smile at these things including myself. Like in many aspects, I'm still a kid and I've already lost the ability to feel like that it's kinda sad tbh. Like many people are saying again still only 18 but just how incompetent people are. I'm a first-year uni student in chemical and computer engineering and a lot of my classmates are impossible to work with or just have no clue what's going on. It makes me worry for the future."
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
Is becoming dead inside a requirement for growing up or something??
dollh h 2 years ago
Nope. Just the opposite. You're always going to be concerned for the future. Don't ever lose that. You'll need it. Always. Otherwise we wouldn't still be fighting for change.
Load More Replies... #55
"Life is punishment, it's designed to hurt you as much as possible for as long as possible."
Hill Branda 2 years ago
I call B.S. You can find joy in tiny things and have a generally decent life---if you set realistic expectations and don't expect the world to fall at your feet, you can be pretty content.
#56
mrsguyliner said: "You didn't ask to be born and now you're forced to work for the rest of your life with no guarantee you'll be safe, secure or happy." ArthurshatHasAplan replied: "If I had the financial security in making a baby I would but if I know I don’t have the funds for it I would be f***ing f***ed. I wish my parents would have thought about that but I guess I learned don’t make a baby when ur broke as s*** & can’t make it live a comfortable life. Most of my friends are getting to that age where they have babies. Like I feel being 20 years you need to have fun and enjoy the moments to yourself you are only in your 20s for a bit don’t f*** yourself over by having children."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
It's worse when you feel like your parents resent you for being born into their lives. But I find comfort in knowing I'm on this Earth and have every right and freedom to be here as everyone else, no matter how bitter anyone else feels about it.
#57
"Human relations are fragile and can be killed but memes are forever."
#58
BrnInD80s said:
"Not all adults are nice."
More-Masterpiece-561 replied:
"In general, most people are horrible and awful. And if they felt that they are not being watched they would do even more horrible things. Most people stay away from doing the wrong thing not because of their conscience but because of the accountability. Most of the people stay away from driving under influence to avoid getting a DUI, not because they think it's dangerous. And the people closest to you are more likely to hurt you than a random stranger. Physically or mentally."
Khall Khall 2 years ago
Naw it's more social pressure and fear of being socially shamed. Atavistic fear of being kicked out of the tribe or having the whole troop jump on you and beat you because you're the lowest on the totem pole. Laws are (mostly) just levers to add to that pressure. It's why they don't work with certain people.
What do you think ?
Dizzie D 2 years ago
That when you have your own little family, the buck stops with you and ( possibly) your partner. Bills, food on the table, mortgage, buying a house to live in, finance, days out, saving money, spending money, shopping, clothes, school runs.....EVERYTHING is up to you now to resolve or sort out. Oh what it must be like being a teenager worrying about how many followers you get on social media, whilst Dad or Mum is downstairs on the computer paying the last electricity bill. Life as an adult ey? It sucks to be honest. And don't get me started on the fact that you have to think, every...single...day about what you are going to cook for dinner.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Well that was largely depressing, but also a lot of these things I realised when I was fairly young because even though I was a kid I could see and question the world around me.
Dizzie D 2 years ago
That when you have your own little family, the buck stops with you and ( possibly) your partner. Bills, food on the table, mortgage, buying a house to live in, finance, days out, saving money, spending money, shopping, clothes, school runs.....EVERYTHING is up to you now to resolve or sort out. Oh what it must be like being a teenager worrying about how many followers you get on social media, whilst Dad or Mum is downstairs on the computer paying the last electricity bill. Life as an adult ey? It sucks to be honest. And don't get me started on the fact that you have to think, every...single...day about what you are going to cook for dinner.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Well that was largely depressing, but also a lot of these things I realised when I was fairly young because even though I was a kid I could see and question the world around me.
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