Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
30 Worst Classic Album Art According To Vintage Everyday That Will Leave You Asking Why?””
They will tell you that it's all about the music. If your tunes are strong, people will come! But first impressions count too, especially back in the day when these albums where released and people often made their purchases based on what looked cool in the record shop.
None of these albums covers look cool. Surely they didn't even in the darkest days of the 70's and 80's, when fashions in clothing and facial hair were at their most questionable. These are, according to Vintage Everyday, some of the worst and creepiest examples of album cover art ever dreamed up. They are so horribly bad, they're actually good. Hilariously good! Scroll down below to check them out for yourself, and don't forget to upvote your faves!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
The Miracle At My House
Aaron Kara 7 years ago
That kids thinking "This is the last time I pose for your pitiful album covers you mewling fool!"
Chicago Kitty 7 years ago
This emphasizes the importance of good lighting. With good lighting- special little girl. Without good lighting- soul stealing demon child.
Little letitia 7 years ago
What girl? All I see is creepily enthusiastic piano nun!
Load More Replies...
Freya the Wanderer 7 years ago
The kid appears to be a) bored, b) sleepy, c) a few bottles shy of a twofer, or d) some combination of the three. And what the hell is she holding?
RELATED:
#2
Fos
#3
Dan Lenson - Barenaked Banjos
glowworm2 7 years ago
I am so happy that the banjos are covering up all the parts I don't want to see. Too bad they couldn't cover up that hairy chest too.
Zenozenobee 7 years ago
Well, that's not really a why, in that case the cover perfectly fit the spirit "playing banjo in the summer of love". Weird but you know, right in its time
Chicago Kitty 7 years ago
The best part is the pink rose strategically placed at the base of the third banjo. That touch of class is so important...
#4
Pauline And Randy - Help Me
Aaron Kara 7 years ago
No one realized that they were trapped in an album cover, trying to escape...
El-Ray King 7 years ago
That's the voice of the person locked inside the trunk of their car, just out of frame.
Pam Falcioni 7 years ago
Unfortunately, this album was Randy's last call for help before his mother completely consumed him and he lived the rest of his life in her basement, never kissing, let alone meeting, a girl.
#5
Dorothy - "Everybody's Mother" Goes Country
BusLady 7 years ago
And probably doesn't know how to do either. Or shoot a rifle.
Load More Replies...
The Girl on Fire 7 years ago
I have so many questions. Why is the saddle on the ground? why is there a half-peeled banana next to it? Why does she look like she's going to a funeral? Why.......
Little letitia 7 years ago
Why is she holding she fun like a ukulele? Why is she wearing silver slippers? WHY GOD DAMMIT!?
Load More Replies...
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
I absolutly and catagorically deny any relationship with Dorothy. And the horse does so to.
La Petite Morte 7 years ago
You're doing it wrong, Dorothy. The saddle should be *on* the horse, not next to it. Do you think of you play enough the horse will saddle himself just to get you to stop?
Little letitia 7 years ago
I don't think she's going to play much music on that gun, despite her best efforts to hold it like a ukulele!
Load More Replies... #6
The Sounds Of Hjs Coming
Zenozenobee 7 years ago
Oh sweet summer childen... It take a lot of ingenuity to use that title without thinking that people would got it wrong...
#7
De Germa's - Bananenlied
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
Yes, we have no bananas today. ( That's the title of the song. Clearly that's a lie.)
Katarina Sujono 7 years ago
is that dutch? (I'm just asking, i really don't know)
Load More Replies...
Rebekah 7 years ago
(enter very tasteless comment here about these ladies being WAY to friendly with bananas, that I can't say because of 12 years of Catholic school)
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
I don't know if Im fascinated or shocked by the ideas you just planted in my head. I think I might go bananas over this one.
Load More Replies...
Aaron Kara 7 years ago
Those bananas don't look very 'a-peeling' to me...Right, pun made, moving on
Miss Cris 7 years ago
Or doing other things with them... very *lovely* things
Load More Replies...
#8
Ilona Staller - Ska Skatenati
RJ BERG 7 years ago
A porn star and politician? The only sense that makes to me is that those two categories date each other... But to be the same person the irony
Night Owl 7 years ago
It's Italy *shrug* I don't think that's the craziest thing that happened in their politics. Maybe not even in the top five
Load More Replies...
Ken Rockburn 7 years ago
well she was a porn actress who ran successfully for Italy's government, if I recall. So this..this is nothing.
johnsmith2014 7 years ago
Cicciolina aka Ilona Staller was a italian pornstar who became politician and singer. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilona_Staller
Dániel Horváth 7 years ago
She was a hungarian porn star, in italian porn movies.
Load More Replies...
rhyan lumilay 7 years ago
is that a singer making a Miley Cyrus antics or a porn star making a role play?
#9
Olaf Sveen - Dance Party
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
4 senior citizens and a wailing squeeze box. All you need for a wild dance party.
Captain Marvel 7 years ago
The accordion player has lost all hope in the world...I feel you man
#10
Fleming Antony - Frk. Brun
#11
Jimmy Scott - Fallinf In Love Is Wonderful
Little letitia 7 years ago
Her face doesn't look like it's screaming anything. ...anymore.
Load More Replies... 
#12
Romark - Relax... You're Going To Lose Weight
Abbey Impson 7 years ago
because he is gonna scare the sh*t out of you when he comes to life and night and creeps in to your room
Zenozenobee 7 years ago
I was thinking about hypnosis but you're probably closer from the truth XD
Load More Replies...
La Petite Morte 7 years ago
No, see, you were supposed to either prop the album up inside the fridge so when you went to snack you saw him glaring at you, or you tied it to a string and hung it in the middle of the kitchen doorway so it hit you in the face when you went to snack...
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
Being stared at by a serial killer who promisses me I'm going to lose weight. Let's get the hell out of here!
Freya the Wanderer 7 years ago
Because you're going to vomit like hell when you listen to this album. :D
Ashley Say Wha?!? 7 years ago
Pretty sure this is a picture of him looking into some woman's bedroom.... this has stalker written all over it!
#13
Vicki Jamison - He's More Than Enough
Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 7 years ago
Looked her up..one of those "youre healed by the power of Christ!" Ladies and will send someone in convulsions onto the ground and they get up saying theyre cured of cancer.
La Petite Morte 7 years ago
And sausage, and bananas, and cucumbers, and another baguette, and hot dog buns... With all of the penis analogues she's got in that cart I'm thinking he's nowhere near enough. Not of she's turning to various food stuffs to be satisfied. Maybe he's on the smallish side?
Load More Replies...
Ashley Say Wha?!? 7 years ago
Yep. That's exactly what I think of when someone says he is more than enough. Bread, I think of bread.
Miss Cris 7 years ago
I prefer it with bacon and cheese inside. Crusty and melty hot miam miam!
Load More Replies...
#14
Danny Boy - Twist
Aaron Kara 7 years ago
Ah yes, that was the time the KKK got a red sock mixed in with their hoods when doing a load of washing
Zenozenobee 7 years ago
So, mmmh, he's French, There is no KKK in France, these musiciens are supposed to be masked because they were sons of Malagasy diplomats come to France to study. They did a tour with Pinder Circus. Danny had then groups called the Pinguoins and then, another one, The Smurfs (don't ask me why). He ultimatly return to his first professional activity: fishmonger. I think, it's even a bigger "why" with the background.
Amélie Courvoisier 7 years ago
This needs to be known– thanks for sharing!
Load More Replies... 
#15
Ronald Coyne - When God Smiled On
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
And thought: Where the f*ck did my carefully designed system of evolution go wrong?
BusLady 7 years ago
Album still has the plastic on it? Wouldn't want anything to happen to it. They might actually decide to listen to it one of these days.
diane a 7 years ago
If it's mint condition, original packaging , unopened and unplayed - could be worth serious money -- say 50p
Load More Replies... 
Toujin C'Thlu 7 years ago
Mr. Coyne looks as though he's just been told that God smiled him. "He did? When?"
#16
Craig Douglas - Cuddle Up With Craig
SykesDaMan 7 years ago
You shouldn't use "hard" in this contex... Oh! I see what you did there!
Load More Replies... 
El-Ray King 7 years ago
What happened to the kids who owned those teddy bears is what I'd like to know.
#17
Aaron - Miten Ois?
Chicago Kitty 7 years ago
From this album cover- apparently he didn't succeed at doing either.
Load More Replies...
Whatthedeuce? 7 years ago
The pipe and belt buckle say 'I'll be your macho man', but those roadside-picked flowers say 'I'm thrifty yet tender'. Pretty much a complete package.
Miss Cris 7 years ago
The pipe is more I'm an old movie old grandpa than macho man!!!
Load More Replies... Aaron Kara 7 years ago
From one Aaron to another, loose the pipe or the flowers, you cant pull off both.
Benevolent Panda Mouse 7 years ago
Hold these, smoke this.........and oh yeah wear this waist slimming maxi-belt, trust me Aaron...you look great,
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
Miten Ois? I'm doing fine. Lose the pipe and the flowers too and you'll be ok.
Monika Soffronow 7 years ago
He is Finnish and so man enough to hold a bouquet of flowers. The song is an adaptation of a song called I Can Help, but I don't know if that is also what the Finnish title means.
April Simnel 7 years ago
I remember that song! "I Can Help", I mean. There's a whole slew of songs from the 1960's and 1970s I call "dentist's office songs" because I only ever heard them in the waiting room at the doctor's or dentist's office back then as a kid, that soft rock stuff. "I Can Help" was one of those songs.
Load More Replies...
#18
Holland Trio - Now Let Us Thank Him
JustABobcat 7 years ago
But just think of all the things you can store in it! Your purse, your 2 or 3 bottles of wine, a small car...
Load More Replies...
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
This trio has NOTHING to do with Holland or the Netherlands. Anyone suggesting otherwise will be sued for slander and deformation.
Troux 7 years ago
Discogs says they are from Louisiana, USA. https://rateyourmusic.com/artist/the_holland_trio
Load More Replies...
#19
Catui - Irmao De Cor
Rich Auntie Skeleton 7 years ago
Remember...this was the best pic of him from the photo shoot for his album cover.
Farid Adiyanto 7 years ago
the photographer : "Catui.. look at the camera.. the camera... jeez.. fine.." snap!
Hapee Pupee 7 years ago
Catui sounds like a sneeze, and his facial expression rather looks like that too.
#20
Nancy Harmon's - Double Portion
Aaron Kara 7 years ago
I'm sure she served me school dinners in primary school...with the same look of pure unbridled evil
Panda-monium 7 years ago
Looks like she had waaay more than a double portion in that glory train
Elwood Blues 7 years ago
I heard that she had a career in pron while in college, but went on to a singing career after a nasty incident in a bar in Tijuana with a burro and a lost set of handcuff keys.
#21
Simple Man - Cuby+blizzards
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
Dutch Blues band from the sixties and seventies. Great music, lousy covers.
La Petite Morte 7 years ago
Thanks. I wondered what music could possibly go with this cover.
Load More Replies... 
Elwood Blues 7 years ago
He started a new band called The Parkinson's Brothers. They had a number one hit in Uzbekistan with their EP 'Epilepticus'. It sold dozens.
Maria Campbell 7 years ago
I got the booze, I got the moves....Ladies just line up, please...no one will be hurt then.
#22
Teenager-Party
Kenny Kulbiski 7 years ago
Brings back memories. All the gang gathered around Biff and his Tuba, just rockin out.
Pam Falcioni 7 years ago
The album your Grandma buys you for Christmas when you ask for Elvis records.
Beeps 7 years ago
I honestly thought the blonde one was supposed to be the mum at first.
Load More Replies... 
Joseph LaPage 7 years ago
Well, you know what they say about blowing your own horn.
Load More Replies... MN Free Spirit 7 years ago
That's the same person who drew all the pictures in my old Betty Crocker recipe book.
Valley Girl 7 years ago
I knew I recognized these people from somewhere. Thanks!
Load More Replies... Naomi Armitage 7 years ago
Just like a typical 50's movie about teenagers--they're all played by adults.
#23
Bell - Do You Ever Get Lonely
Dániel Horváth 7 years ago
Bit weird, but at least it's twice as horny as any man
Load More Replies...
Chicago Kitty 7 years ago
For $50 I can make you not lonely, For $75 I'll include the bull skull...
Cenk Karaferya 7 years ago
This must have been her business card/album to hand out to prospective candidates while she was walking up and down the red light district...
#24
Housewives' Playtime
BusLady 7 years ago
We had an old console like this in the early 70's. TV, radio and turntable all in one.
Kiss Army 7 years ago
We had one too! I think the brand was something like Telefunkin
Load More Replies...
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
This picture is so wrong in so many ways. Didn't she notice that the shoes really don't go with that dress?
Peak25500 7 years ago
They fit with the broom stick, while the broom head fits with the dress
Load More Replies...
TheDivineMs.M 7 years ago
She's going to be naughty and have tea and biscuits when she's supposed to be doing chores
Panda-monium 7 years ago
I would need more than cake and coffee to call it a playtime....wine and donuts on the other hand....
#25
Paul Pincus And His Orchestra
Pam Falcioni 7 years ago
"Stan is soooooo stoned." "At least he still has his clothes on, unlike last weekend at the country club." "Yeah, I wish smartphones were already invented, I'd be posting this like yesterday."
Zsuzsanna Szucs 7 years ago
The woman in the pink dress claps like Nicole Kidman...or the Grinch.
Benevolent Panda Mouse 7 years ago
Uncomfortable and forced polite applause as he recounts his latest “dream dance”
#26
Strech Forth Thy Hand
Zenozenobee 7 years ago
"Come play with us, Dany."...creepy, I wouldn't feel safe meeting them in a hotel corridor...
#27
Frank Crumit - Song Of The Prune
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
Frank wrote this song while he was constipated. Now I come to think of it. He also recorded the song while he was constipated. ( That's why it's Extended Play.)
#28
The Happy Three - Answering Your Request
stellermatt 7 years ago
dude on the right looks like he just remembered he's left a fire unattended...
Laura Mencini 7 years ago
The guy 3rd in with the light jacket looks like he just remembered there's a woman chained up in his basement...
Load More Replies...
SykesDaMan 7 years ago
There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who know how to count and those who don't!
Benevolent Panda Mouse 7 years ago
The trick is to figure out....which three are happy. Looks can be deceiving...use your heart.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 7 years ago
It's not the women, I can guarantee that.
Load More Replies... 
Naomi Armitage 7 years ago
"The Happy Three" are the ladies--see how happy they are?--and "The Sounds of Happiness Musicians" are the 4 guys in the back--'cause they're not all happy, they just make happy sounds. I guess.
Load More Replies...
#29
Mallet Mischief
Peak25500 7 years ago
4 hammers and a singer, that’s it. Quintet on a budget.
Load More Replies...
Colin Mochrie At Its Finest 7 years ago
Glad im not the only one who noticed
Load More Replies...
Łukasz Markuszewski 7 years ago
I would cut the guy and leave the girl - imagine the cover with just a girl in this pose. Piece of art!
Chicago Kitty 7 years ago
I actually love this one- Though that is one dangerous bodice on that dress-one wrong move and ole' Harry will get an eyeful!
Zenozenobee 7 years ago
"Youhou, I love this sound so much, that I'm just about to hang myself with my pearl necklace!
Wil Vanderheijden 7 years ago
He's looking like " Just wait, I'm gonna use my mischievous mallet to nail her."
#30
Worst Classic Vinyl Album Cover Art
Diver Driver 7 years ago
Cute kids! Wonder what they look like now after all that fame and fortune.
Walter Cheego 7 years ago
Is it just me or does the little girl in the middle look abnormally small compared to her older sister in the front? Compare the faces...
Lizard Queen 7 years ago
Looks like forced perspective: the girl on the right is much closer to the camera than the one on the left.
Load More Replies... 
Megan O'Neill 7 years ago
It's a cute picture, the title makes it weird, but it's still a cute pic.
Add New Image
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
João Ferreira 7 years ago
Yes, but would you celebrate hitting gold by releasing an album with this cover? CID-5b7d53...d172bb.jpg 
Wiggity 7 years ago
Zip Zap Rap...........a timeless classic from Devastatin' Dave. dave-5b7d4...299c40.jpg 
TheDivineMs.M 7 years ago
I want to hear what a lot of these sound like.... I'm sure the music is as awful as the cover art
r3dd3v1lL 7 years ago
Manowar's Into Glory Ride was pretty bad as well. manowar-in...212212.jpg 
Jon Parker 7 years ago
"Music today sucks!" Yeah, let's go back to the days of "Barenaked Banjos" and "Song of a Prune," you know, the good old days of music.
Zenozenobee 7 years ago
Thanks Bored Panda, I really need a laught and thanks to that trend and all the "nasty" comment, I'm just sheding tears. You're just perfect!
Alexandra Sedan 7 years ago
FIRST , don't judge a book by it's cover SECOND , maybe it's just me but you presented alot of christian bands (they don't really care that much about looks , so waste of time for this article) and left out some preety funny other album covers that are by faaaar more funny .... just my humble opinion
Miss Cris 7 years ago
If it's SECOND, christian bands!!! Oh, god, then FIRST is true: don't listen to them, they'll be even worst!
Load More Replies...
João Ferreira 7 years ago
Yes, but would you celebrate hitting gold by releasing an album with this cover? CID-5b7d53...d172bb.jpg
Wiggity 7 years ago
Zip Zap Rap...........a timeless classic from Devastatin' Dave. dave-5b7d4...299c40.jpg
TheDivineMs.M 7 years ago
I want to hear what a lot of these sound like.... I'm sure the music is as awful as the cover art
r3dd3v1lL 7 years ago
Manowar's Into Glory Ride was pretty bad as well. manowar-in...212212.jpg
Jon Parker 7 years ago
"Music today sucks!" Yeah, let's go back to the days of "Barenaked Banjos" and "Song of a Prune," you know, the good old days of music.
Zenozenobee 7 years ago
Thanks Bored Panda, I really need a laught and thanks to that trend and all the "nasty" comment, I'm just sheding tears. You're just perfect!
Alexandra Sedan 7 years ago
FIRST , don't judge a book by it's cover SECOND , maybe it's just me but you presented alot of christian bands (they don't really care that much about looks , so waste of time for this article) and left out some preety funny other album covers that are by faaaar more funny .... just my humble opinion
Miss Cris 7 years ago
If it's SECOND, christian bands!!! Oh, god, then FIRST is true: don't listen to them, they'll be even worst!
Load More Replies... You May Like 130 Questions To Brush Up Your 80s Trivia Knowledge 120 Musician Quotes That Have A Nice Ring To Them 75 Music Tropes And Clichés That People Find Absolutely Annoying
Aivaras Kaziukonis
Žydrūnė Trukanavičiūtė
Neilas Šurkus
Related on Bored Panda
