ADVERTISEMENT

The savage art of the comeback is something that we should all take the time and dedication to master. There are very few things in life as satisfying as completely and utterly decimating someone with your wit, your snappiness, and your banter. And if you throw some good old-fashioned logic and common sense into the mix? Whew, you’re a legend.

The place that celebrates these “well-constructed put-downs, comebacks, and counter-arguments” is the legendary ‘Murdered By Words’ subreddit. Boasting a whopping 2.5 million members, r/MurderedByWords shares the best comebacks that we all wish we came up with ourselves. And, well, during the actual arguments, not days later while we’re shampooing our hair in the shower.

One of the moderators helping manage the vast r/MurderedByWords community answered some of my questions about the community. "The way we see it, a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply. In other words, their point has been totally demolished," the mod explained to Bored Panda.

"Now, obviously there's more than one way to murder with words, and sometimes a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," they added. Scroll down for the moderator's insights about how they and their colleagues tackle the challenges that come with managing such a large online community.

Check out the best online verbal put-downs, upvote the ones that impressed you the most, and be sure to give r/MurderedByWords a follow if you’re a fan of their stuff. When you’re done with this article, you’ll find some more inspiration for your future epic comebacks by checking out our previous features of the subreddit here, here, and here. Somebody call the police and the coroner because these ‘word-murders’ are out of control.

#3

Women Aren't People, Apparently

Women Aren't People, Apparently

beerbellybegone Report

The moderator representing r/MurderedByWords shared with me that they have a very thorough vetting system in place for new mods. "We manage the community by being a tight-knit group of moderators who are all carefully vetted before being given the position, to ensure the stability of the subreddit and that good content gets through," they said. However, it's not just the mods who decide whether or not a comeback can be classified as a 'murder.' That honor is also given to the community members themselves.

"Overall, we believe in letting the subreddit determine what is or isn't a murder, and try to step in or remove posts only when the rules are broken or we see the same post for the gazillionth time," the mod explained.

According to the moderator, the community has its own challenges, just like any other large subreddit. "Every single post will always have someone who says, 'Not a murder,' 'This sub is dying/dead,' 'Mods suck,' etc. That comes with the territory of any subreddit, from smallest to largest," they told Bored Panda that these sorts of comments are completely unavoidable, no matter what the community might be. However, a bigger issue is... politics.

ADVERTISEMENT
#6

Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"

Far Too Many People See The Answer To This As Being "Yes"

beerbellybegone Report

"Another challenge that came up was when we decided before the US Presidential Elections to ban politics from the sub (there is a sticky at the top of the subreddit outlining what is/isn't allowed). Somehow, we managed to have both sides of the political spectrum pissed off at us for that one. Democrats complaining we had caved to the Republicans who kept getting 'owned,' and Republicans complaining because this was one big left-wing [echo chamber] and now they couldn't even respond with their own posts. We then made the ban permanent, but we still have to remove plenty of posts which fit the criteria for the no-politics rule."

But at the core of it all are practical challenges like finding ways to keep the subreddit growing and full of fresh content that will keep redditors happy. "We're lucky in that we frequently create posts that reach the front page and receive tens of thousands of upvotes (many have even passed the 100k upvote mark), which in turn helps draw attention to the sub, which creates more content, etc."

ADVERTISEMENT
#7

The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare

The Media Makes It To Be A Feel Good Story Over A Dystopian Nightmare

plurrrb Report

#8

You’re An Asstrovert

You’re An Asstrovert

Andy20788 Report

ADVERTISEMENT

Nearly two years ago, I had a friendly chat with redditor Xor50, who’d been one of the moderators helping run r/MurderedByWords. They told me a bit about the community that has been running since December 2016, the type of content the subreddit features (and how it differs from similar subreddits like r/clevercomebacks), and how to give your put-down more substance.

“A ‘real murder’ in terms of this subreddit would be [this]: A murder should be a response to something or someone that totally, for lack of a better word, destroys them. They are, of course, subjective, and should be more or less based on fact,” Xor50 told Bored Panda previously.

ADVERTISEMENT
#12

Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong

Am I So Out Of Touch? No, It's The Children Who Are Wrong

beerbellybegone Report

“What is the difference between a ‘murder’ and ‘burn’ anyway? The mod team and even the MBW community has struggled for over a year to try and define the difference. It’s quite subjective and nearly an ‘I know it when I see it!’ situation, however, there are some generalities,” the redditor explained that there have been debates about the details of what constitutes a ‘murder.’

“Murders tend to be longer. It’s nearly impossible to ‘murder’ someone inside of a tweet. It’s just not long enough. You can burn them pretty good yes but a ‘murder’ is far more complete,” they said.

“Basically, anything that you would think is a witticism, one-liner, snappy comeback, or hot take is going to be a burn. Those may be a better fit for /r/clevercomebacks. Murders tend to be long-form, taking a minute or several to read, and thoroughly deconstruct an argument and/or the person making it.”

#13

Columbus Day

Columbus Day

66baph0met Report

ADVERTISEMENT

Xor50 added that your personal passion for a topic can help inspire you to find a clever way to put down someone’s bad arguments. “Think about a topic you’re really passionate about and imagine you’re talking to an idiot who just doesn’t get it. That’s how I imagine it,” they said.

The art of the comeback isn’t out of reach for us, no matter how epic and unreachable some of these slap-backs and roasts might seem. 

#16

Classic Karen

Classic Karen

I_Luv_Transphobes Report

Add photo comments
POST
angelab_1 avatar
Angela B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Such a good response, that I went and made popcorn and sat in my comfy chair.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#18

That’s Got To Hurt

That’s Got To Hurt

Professional-Park225 Report

Add photo comments
POST
vickyz avatar
Vicky Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when you convince a guy you just had three orgasms you know you are good! In acting! Give the girl an Oscar!!!

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And it is mind boggling how men just cannot tell the difference, isn’t it?

adriaanverhelle avatar
Adriaan Verhelle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only thing mind boggling about it is that this still appears to be common practice. Like what is the end game? Continuing to have sex with a person that does not know how to please you by keeping him in the dark about what you really like?

Load More Replies...
kjorn avatar
kjorn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when you needs to brags about your sex life... ugh...

amunetbarrywood avatar
dfreg avatar
Leodavinci
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Legit for sure. The reply to the comment says more about that replier's sex life than anything else.

Load More Replies...
tw72 avatar
tw 72
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to assume that this kid is years away from actually having sex.

sherbaannaab_1 avatar
Sherbaan Naab
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, he's bragging, sure. But how does everybody here know that she was faking from those three lines of text only? I'm genuinely curious.

adriaanverhelle avatar
Adriaan Verhelle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In case that girl was faking it, in the long run she is only hurting herself. How is her SO supposed to learn what she really likes if she is open an honest about it.

junkmailspam avatar
An Co
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, no. If the girl does not have the courage and independence to say I am done, and has to lie about having an orgasm, that is her fault. Most particularly, there is NO way any man will ever give her an orgasm if she refuses to tell him that what he is doing is not working.

xan_maranya avatar
Xan Maranya
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy believes that some women's natural ability to have multiple orgasms is because of him.

mikerodrick avatar
Mike Rodrick
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was just too much information but I'll sleep better knowing that.

heathervance avatar
AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He should feel lucky someone is sleeping with him when he can't form a complete sentence that makes sense. Good Lord.

itsjustme223 avatar
Shane S
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women, don’t fake orgasms. You’re not doing yourself or your men any favors. Let him know he’s a lousy lover.

boredpanda_127 avatar
A
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that's probably the truth. She just wanted to read her book and go to sleep.

faithhh02 avatar
Faith Hurst
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is he still doing this? Ok, lets pretend again. S**t. C'mon, man. I have things to do.

ellieangelurban avatar
ellie angel urban
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The way he writes it I suspect he is confusing the female c*mming with her orgasming. Because she could be c*mming multiple times prior to the orgasm.

Load More Replies...
i_p_albrecht87 avatar
Ines Albrecht
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Number one is right, even if calling it finishing instead of orgasm sounds a little bit weird. Also in my opinion there should be no need to fake an orgasm for my boyfriend.

anagrammargana avatar
Anagram margana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, honey, it is SHE who is good — at fooling an idiot like you. Just one word of warning: she’s going to tire of that veerrrry soon.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

British comedy writer and stand-up comedian Ariane Sherine explained to me during an earlier interview what the most important parts of a comeback are. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda.

According to Ariane, most stand-up comics actually have a “repertoire of comebacks” that they rely on while on the stage. This way, they can be prepared for hecklers and (at least some) unexpected situations. There’s a lot of prep that goes into being a good comedian!

ADVERTISEMENT

“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.

#19

How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes

How Dare We Give You The Correct Amount Of Changes

Couchmaster007 Report

#20

Bit Of A Stretch

Bit Of A Stretch

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
michellesavage226 avatar
Michelle M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's with people and body hair? If you like body hair, good for you. If you don't, also good for you. No need to body shame someone for something that occurs naturally. It's like insulting someone for having legs. I'm looking at you, female beauty standards

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#21

Seriously What Is Wrong With You

Seriously What Is Wrong With You

coredweller1785 Report

Ariane revealed to Bored Panda that comedy professionals build up emotional resilience with time and experience.

“Heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honor when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!),” Ariane told me where we can find some inspiration for clever comebacks.

#22

Good Luck To The Women In Your Future

Good Luck To The Women In Your Future

MaxQ50 Report

Add photo comments
POST
3loretta979 avatar
Loretta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear men who consider this a good advice: I agree, please stay the f**k away from us.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#23

Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words

Entitled Karen Getting Stabbed By Words

JustHereForTheCh1cks Report

Add photo comments
POST
wandiledludlu avatar
Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People think they have the right to people because they see them on TV

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

The comedy writer also pointed out that comebacks can either be spontaneous or more planned out (if you’ve got the time), depending on the actual comic. 

"It [the comeback] needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” she said, adding that it’s relatively rare in her experience to have spontaneous eruptions of genius all the time. “That's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!"

#25

Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media

Research Before You Sprouts Anything On Social Media

ztaker Report

See Also on Bored Panda
#26

Better Check Those Facts

Better Check Those Facts

nexerxe Report

#27

Handle With Care

Handle With Care

PlacidlyClarify51 Report

Add photo comments
POST
michellesavage226 avatar
Michelle M
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'As a man, the only emotion you should show is forest hack-saw domination', said, a conservative.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#28

Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?

Why Go Out Of Your Way To Be An As**ole?

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
generally_happy avatar
similarly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I admit, I have a pretty good life ... but I've suffered chronic depression since I was a kid. There's no logic to depression.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#29

This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem

This Doubles As A Til About The Spanish Anthem

throwawayblueline Report

#30

Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More

Once Wasn't Enough, He Came Back For More

beerbellybegone Report

#31

Rip Sportsball Fan

Rip Sportsball Fan

KosmicTom , twitter.com Report

Add photo comments
POST
makaylargardner avatar
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I completely support LGBTQ rights because LGBTQ people are the same as us heterosexuals, they just have different romantic preferences. They don't deserve to be treated as less than us...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#32

God vs. Humanity

God vs. Humanity

nin4nin Report

Add photo comments
POST
wandiledludlu avatar
Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not just that, his first 2 people were cancelled for eating a fruit he made

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#33

Trying To Gatekeep Conversations

Trying To Gatekeep Conversations

Blazing_Ken Report

Add photo comments
POST
moerbechris avatar
Chrissie Mörbe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What the actual f*ck is the original poster thinking? This must be one of the stupidest things I have ever read.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#34

I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit

I've Had A 32" TV For Longer Than I'd Like To Admit

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
saihoekstra avatar
Sanne H.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a difference between “old rich” and “new rich” here. Old rich (families that are wealthy for many generations) don’t usually show off.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#35

Oh, No! Anything But That!

Oh, No! Anything But That!

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
4ertani avatar
UncleRussian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

US heath insurance is a scam... And textbooks are a scam... And minimum wage is a scam... Basically everything is a scam

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
See Also on Bored Panda
#36

The Ol' Switcheroo

The Ol' Switcheroo

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
katonakisani avatar
Ancsuri
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still dont get it, why some people think that vaccination is evil, and but mumbo-jumbo things offered on the internet will work to cure cancer.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#38

But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??

But How Will They Make Money If They Can't Take Advantage Of People?!??

catrinadaimonlee Report

#39

What Are Crab Cakes?

What Are Crab Cakes?

BRENNEJM Report

Add photo comments
POST
saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"anyone who isn't within walking distance of a school shooting"...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#40

Doctor Of Reading?

Doctor Of Reading?

ITriedLightningTendr Report

Add photo comments
POST
basilignatov avatar
Basil Ignatov
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the symptoms of covid...so people without vaccination tend to get covid symptoms ... Who'd ave guessed?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#41

I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..

I Don’t Really Know If This Counts But..

Andy20788 Report

Add photo comments
POST
4ertani avatar
UncleRussian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1) why would you be this pretentious in the first place 2) why would you be so pretentious on a god damn memes page...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#42

Just So We’re Clear

Just So We’re Clear

DaFunkJunkie Report

#43

It's Almost As If

It's Almost As If

Gonadalchait351 Report

Add photo comments
POST
tmarek13 avatar
just me
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am in favor of unions, but... They need to protect the integrity of a profession and not just the workers. Police unions shouldn't protect dirty cops. Teacher/education unions shouldn't protect abusive staff.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#44

You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What

You Can't Justify Her Actions No Matter What

OkSurprise7755 , twitter.com Report

Add photo comments
POST
truthmonster00 avatar
Truth Monster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was trying to create a new line of skin care products...to sell in baskets....

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#45

I Once Knew A Peacock

I Once Knew A Peacock

AlreadyShrugging Report

Note: this post originally had 119 images. It’s been shortened to the top 45 images based on user votes.

See Also on Bored Panda