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Stepping up gives you one sense of accomplishment, but one-upping someone who’s clearly wrong is a whole other achievement. So this post is dedicated to those who didn’t stay silent when hearing false statements, fake news, or faulty arguments, but decided to cut the BS and do everyone a public service.

Thanks to the r/CleverComebacks subreddit, a community with 830k members that’s constantly growing, we have laid out some of the most razor-sharp comebacks. Scroll down, upvote the sharpest comebacks and be sure to check out our previous post on witty comebacks.

We also spoke to Abigail Paul, an actress, standup comedian and improviser who has given seminars on incorporating theatre techniques for purposes beyond the stage to schools, businesses and organizations all over Germany since 2001. Abigail told us how to improve our comeback skills, starting from learning to be better listeners. Tune in for the interview below!

#1

If You Don't Want To Get Tested, Don't Apply

If You Don't Want To Get Tested, Don't Apply

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    "Markets Unable To Adapt To New Generation Of Consumers"

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    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Duncan you just dunked the moronic imbecile Congratulations!

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    Abigail is now busy launching a new organization for comedy and shows in Frankfurt called “English Comedy Frankfurt,” so be sure to follow her work on Twitter.

    “The secret to any comeback is connection,” she said and continued: “If you are really listening (and connecting) with another person, you are taking them in fully, aware of who they are, the context in which you are dealing with this person.”

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    Abigail believes that we tend do this assessment unconsciously. “We aren't even always aware that we are always sizing up other people. This is too often because we are so focused on ourselves.”

    #4

    Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

    Kid Has A Bright And Shocking Future In Front Of Him

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    #5

    Meirl

    Meirl

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    Happy Quokka
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you are doing a good deed only as an advertisement 🤦‍♂️

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    #6

    Bill Bur Is A Legend

    Bill Bur Is A Legend

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    “I teach the rules and principles of improvisation. We credit the improv guru Keith Johnstone with the term 'status' exercises and games, which helps us see things like status moves, and how to make a character in a scene have a higher or lower status. By working on this skill in a theatrical way, you also start to notice status 'wars' happening in real life. On the stage, it usually has the end effect of being comedic. In real life, it can go either way.”

    #7

    Some Good Luck!

    Some Good Luck!

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    PjandBolt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Michael Rosen is a legend. I'm so glad he lived despite having to deal with that awful experience

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    #8

    Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

    Who Orders Small Coffee Anyway?

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    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah-sock-it-to-em beautiful. Excellent without using any swear words!

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    #9

    Cry Me A River That Flows 5 M/S²

    Cry Me A River That Flows 5 M/S²

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    Abigail argues that a great comeback feels great because it was earned. “It was spontaneous. The commenter was probably really listening. It was unique to that moment, set of people, situation,” she explained.

    When asked how to make sure that your comeback doesn't sound mean, Abigail warns that “a comeback is not a clapback—which is generally sarcastic, but a clapback might be fun among friends.” Moreover, “Context of situation always matters. In working on status exercises in improv, we try to get people to see that the easiest way to raise another person's status is to lower their own. We see that in standup comedy too. Usually it works best if the comic is the butt of the joke, not the audience. (There are plenty of exceptions.)”

    #10

    Stealing The Rainbow

    Stealing The Rainbow

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    #11

    I Choose You, Bunny!!!!

    I Choose You, Bunny!!!!

    Icy-Manufacturer-875 Report

    Neil Bidle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, there are WAY more species of "common wildlife" than Pokémon

    Life is ?
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back then Pokémons were limited too. They weren't so many then. If you knew ten you knew more than enough.

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    denzoren
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If tigers went TIGER, they'd know it too. Lol...not Latin.

    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tough it's a funny imagination to go out at night and hear the sky screaming: BAT! BAT, BAT, BAT! BAT! BAT!"

    Andy Acceber
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is "common wildlife"? Scientists agree that vast majority of wildlife haven't been classified yet. There's still over 8 million species. "Common wildlife" could be an astoundingly large number.

    Something
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I highly doubt that the average child could identify 50% of common wildlife species.

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    D K
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “BLACK-TUFTED MARMOSET!”

    Stannous Flouride
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Given that many species are given common names based on their calls, such as Aye-aye, Bobolink, Bobwhite, Chachalaca, Chickadee, Chiffchaff, Chuck-will's-widow, and Cuckoo, that's not quite true.

    Jon S.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of them, only the cuckoo is a common species in the UK

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    Lena Flising
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As there are between six and ten million different species of insects alone, I highly doubt that an average 8-year-old can identify 50% of even common wildlife species...

    Nubis Knight
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just think about it walking through the woods World be like "Fox - Fox - Boar - Boar -Squirrelsquirrelsquirrel - WOODPECKER - Boar - WOODPECKER - Ants-Ants-Ants- Moooooose - Boar - Squirrelsquirrelsquirrel - Deer - Baby Boar - Baby Boar - Mama Boar - Arrrgh!!!"

    DonS
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sir Obvious... name checks out.

    Todd Logan
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait, I don't even think I know 50% of the common wildlife, so that still seems impressive.

    Red_panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you are telling me that an 8 year can't recognize "rabbit" or "zebra" or "lion" I call b******t. Maybe they can't recognize a specific breed of hawk, or tell the difference between leopard and a jaguar. But neither can I!!!!

    Wednesday
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    also, there is a small number of Pokemon and a vast number of common wildlife species.

    eBaker
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are we missing the entire message it is trying to say? I can't name 50% of the animal species and I am not a child but I also don't spent 50% of my day playing this game and get ran over by cars, causing traffic accidents with the end results of death. Instead, I spent my days at zoos, aquariums, and traveling to parks seeing real animals even though I don't know what they are...

    Aranora
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Kinslee Hager
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I dont even pay attention to most pokemon names lol

    mph seti
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wildlife might be yelling their names at us. We're just too pretentious to pay attention.

    Chancellor Gowron
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know so little about Pokémon that I don't understand this at all

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are around 900 pokémons, and around 2 000 000 animal species. Do your math, boomer.

    Jon S.
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretty sure they would have limited it to what's known as 'charismatic species'. The ones all British school children are expected to learn about and might see if they went for a walk. Frogs, badgers, weasels, deer, hedgehogs, foxes and squirrels.

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    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    May be the should could be a form of education!

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    #12

    Education Is Vitally Important, After All

    Education Is Vitally Important, After All

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Keith said it all. She is the most stupid together with that tomi twit.

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    According to Abigail, “You needn't be too self-effacing for a good comeback, but if it can lift other people up, it usually works well and gains the speaker a laugh and cements the bond that says, we are in this together.”

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    Comebacks can be a useful communication tool, but Abigail argues that excellent listening skills are the most important thing. “Paying attention, making accurate observations about the people in the room, and how they feel—these are the tools that will make a comeback really shine,” she said.

    #13

    Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

    Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

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    Amina Hays
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm 40 next year and I don't have children.

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    #14

    So Easy To Say

    So Easy To Say

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    Hello it Smee
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother said he'd never put his kids on a leash-backpack before he had kids. Well after my 2-year-old niece booked it through the Tulsa zoo and wanted to pet the animals she was on a leash before noon.

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    #15

    They're With Him, Alright...

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    And when it comes to getting better at listening, Abigail shared a fun game to exercise. “Have a chat with someone, but you have to start your response with the last letter of what the person has just said to you,” she said and added: “For example, if person 1 says 'what was the best part of your day'—the response must start with Y from the word day.”

    “It might make for odd conversations at first, but it also forces you to really listen to the complete end of the person's sentence before you add in your own thoughts,” she concluded.

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    #16

    Climate Change Is Not Real Guys!!!

    Climate Change Is Not Real Guys!!!

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    #18

    Careful What You Say

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    #19

    Better Hope His House Doesn't Catch On Fire!

    Better Hope His House Doesn't Catch On Fire!

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    Ancsuri
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    universal health care is very good. Just Americans think ist something bad

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    #20

    He Makes A Good Point

    He Makes A Good Point

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    Raven Sheridan
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In a pandemic, churches are NOT essential. Isn't God supposed to be everywhere? You don't need to go to a certain place or building to worship him or pray. You can do this from the safety of your own home. God gave you a brain, use it!

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    #21

    She Got Played By Her Own Words

    She Got Played By Her Own Words

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    Everything_Fubar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can men haters just not exist, that's all I ask at this point. Men are being demonized just as much as straights and whites these days. It's unreal.

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    #22

    Unlimited Power

    Unlimited Power

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    Seonag Udell
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is it with this Ben Shapiro dude, like every time I see his name come up on BP thread, I know he's gonna say something ridiculously stupid or offensive.

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    #23

    This Is Genius

    This Is Genius

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    thebridget
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except you can't do that with an undergraduate degree in psychology 🙃

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    #24

    If You’ve Read The Bible? Name 10 Plagues

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    Caro Caro
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't AOC a great woman ! I'm a fan and not even American!

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    #25

    Fishing For A Burn

    Fishing For A Burn

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    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’d like to report a murder. The fish did it.

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    #26

    A Newer, Healthier Brain

    A Newer, Healthier Brain

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    Neil Bidle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every single other thing I "need", costs money, so...

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    #28

    They Don't Even Bother Hiding The Fact That The Gop Is Bought And Paid For Anymore

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    #29

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    #30

    Time Is Relative... And Mine Ain't Rich

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    On Insta From An Lgbtq Post From Reddit

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    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love how people think their boycotting something will single-handedly bring everything crashing down, when in reality they won't even show up as a statistic.

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    #32

    Imagine Losing At Your Own Game

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    Ara
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It always pays to read right through the book before you try to review it.

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    #33

    Liking-Old-Pic-Shaming Back Fired...

    Liking-Old-Pic-Shaming Back Fired...

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    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's amazing that people will choose to get offended because someone liked something of theirs. How low is humanity sinking this century?

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    #34

    A Lot To Unpack Here

    A Lot To Unpack Here

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    Eva the Egg
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The "Listen to me, demon" got me laughing 😂😂😂

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    #35

    No Lies Were Told

    No Lies Were Told

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    #36

    Great Observation, People Who Make A Lot Of Money Don't See The Problem

    Great Observation, People Who Make A Lot Of Money Don't See The Problem

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    Grumble O'Pug
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Funny how some working class fool got into the business of defending billionaires.

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    #38

    Waterproof Your Valuables

    Waterproof Your Valuables

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    A Head
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does this person think that US currency dissolves in water? It can go through the laundry.

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    #39

    Not Really Sure If This Belongs Here But Still

    Not Really Sure If This Belongs Here But Still

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    Brian Bennett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You sir are an excellent deleter - proceed with gusto

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    #40

    What An Absolute Chad

    What An Absolute Chad

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