30 ‘What Women Don’t Want From Men’ Tweets That Show What Toxic Men Should Stop Doing In 2020
It’s 2020 and a fresh new decade has started. However, this doesn’t mean that absolutely everything will be different right from the get-go. People will still be imperfect and things like stereotypes and misinformation will still exist.
That’s why the ‘What Women Don’t Want From Men’ hashtag exists on Twitter—it’s a reminder from women about what not to do and what not to act like. Bored Panda collected some of the very best tweets with this hashtag, so scroll down, and upvote the ones you think are right. And read on for our interviews with Elizabeth Arif-Fear, writer and founder of the Voice of Salam which promotes interfaith humanity and human rights, as well as with Suzanne Degges-White, professor and chair in the Department of Counseling and Higher Education at Northern Illinois University.
Be sure to check out our previous article about men talking about which myths about them are 100% not true. And let us know in the comments below what you think of the ‘What Women Don’t Want From Men’ hashtag, and whether you believe the tweets are accurate or if they revolve around stereotyping men.
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Funny how with abortions Pro-lifers are seeking to punish the women, not the men who got them pregnant, as if they don't realise you need two people to make a baby. If a woman is punished for getting an abortion, then the man needs to be punished for getting get pregnant when she doesn't want to be.
I' ashamed to say that I never thought of that. Only women and doctors that perform the procedure are persecuted (prosecuted? Sorry, English isn't my native language)? It takes two to tango.
Load More Replies...I would never get an abortion myself, but if someone else wants to who the f**k cares.
in fact the majority of pro lifers in America are women.
Load More Replies...I believe in using alternate forms of birth control first, and if they don’t work for some reason then getting an abortion. Other people have their own opinions and ideas on how to prevent pregnancy, which I respect.
Ana J., stop vomiting up all those anti choice lies. There have been various studies that estimate the rate of impregnation for ADULT women is roughly ten percent. The younger the victim, the more likely it is that an older family member is committing rape, and regularly at that. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_from_rape Wikipedia is useful as a starting point because it links to people who have actually studied the issue. No anti choice site can be trusted.
@Gin Mari, you cannot argue with a troll, nor with someone who is mentally unstable or with a fanatic, neither can you argue with a paid worker at a factory in Leningrad, oh, sorry, St Petersburg, churning out opinion swaying pseudo comments.
Load More Replies...I can't believe in 2020 this is still in anyway an argument. Female bodily autonomy should be a given. Period.
My opinion is that anti-abortion is more about a control factor: some people just have to control people and if it weren't abortion, they would find another reason to exert control. And those who claim they are doing God's will, it's always struck me as absurd that God needs someone to do his will. Certainly, he should be able to manage for himself. Also, the assumption that God does not condone abortion flies in the face of thousand of years of human history, during which time human beings have been slaughtering one another without as much as a peep from God. How can you claim that he cares about a fetus when he evidently has so little regard for human being killing one another otherwise? But this not the time or place for such a discuss. My apology.
Well if the man doesn't want the woman to have an abortion there should be a law so that the dad has to take care of the baby alone for the rest of its life.
No that isn’t good enough. Women can die during child birth. Especially in the United States. It’s too dangerous to just wave away the part where she has to carry the baby and birth it. I’m not going to put my life at risk for a baby I’m not even keeping.
Load More Replies...Have they not heard how hard it is for people who have been adopted to feel and fear that their own birth mother did not want them? Have they no clue how hard it is for a mother to have to give her child up to foster care or adoption? Aren't they aware that growing up unwanted and in poverty is not seldom leading to a life on the wrong side of the law? But what do I know? After all, how can the economy keep growing unless the population keeps growing? I am so glad that abortion is not even an issue where I live. If you need one, you have one, free and available everywhere. The US evangelical fundamentalists must be green with envy of the political clout their counterparts in Iran have.
I think the main issue is that when is it a "baby" and when is it a life. Saying a bunch of cells coming together is murder if you then abort it, is in my opinion incorrect. It would in time, become a baby. But early days it's not yet. So yes. Women should have a choice. The men who got then pregnant should have responsibility too. But to say that anyone who aborts is a murderer is not true.
I feel the Pro-lifers don't understand that the babies aren't always wanted. Some young people simply aren't able to be parents, or they don't have the funds to raise a child. In the worst cases, people who are victims of rape are in difficult situations. They often don't want the children, because even though they might want the children, it could be a constant reminder of their traumatic experience. They might also be too young, for example, a 13-year-old girl giving birth is frankly sad to see because she should not be a mother that young. Pro-lifers are trying to make the decisions for a woman's body and future when she should be making the choice herself. It's her body and her life, and she should be the only one to decide.
Haa! So men should not have to pay child support if they don't want to men have rights too you know. If she is the sole arbiter of her body we are the sole arbiter of our wallets.
What stupid drivel! Here are some FACTS: "In most parts of Europe abortion is allowed without restriction up to between 10 and 14 weeks’ gestation. In most countries abortions can be carried out beyond this point, but only on specific grounds." https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/jan/05/abortion-laws-around-the-world-from-bans-to-easy-access
Load More Replies...If a woman gets an abortion why would anyone be paying child support?
Load More Replies...Elizabeth Arif-Fear, writer and founder of the Voice of Salam which promotes interfaith humanity and human rights, told Bored Panda that the main things that make women lose respect for men are a misogynistic attitude and lack of respect for people around them.
Bored Panda was also interested to hear Arif-Fear’s opinion about what character traits she’d like all men to have. This is what she had to say: “Egalitarian values, respect for women and all human beings, kindness, compassion, loyalty. A sense of humor is also good, as is a bit of romance.”
The founder of the Voice of Salam had some advice on how parents should raise their sons. “Raise them with a sense of positive masculinity and egalitarian values. Positive masculinity, to teach them that it's ok to cry, that they should not be scared of their feelings, that they should be proud of who they are and that being a man doesn't mean controlling or feeling threatened by women.”
“Raise them as proud feminists with an ethos of positive masculinity. This leaves no room for misogyny or misandry either. Avoid rigid toxic gender stereotypes—let them develop as individuals into who they are, whilst nurturing a sense of strong respect for them and people of all sexes and genders.”
Arif-Fear continued: “I'd like to add that raising sons to be feminists (knowing what that really means) and to respect all women and people of all genders and sexualities, is not just about teaching young men to respect women, but also critically teaching and modeling a sense of positive masculinity. Men should not feel 'ashamed' to cry or ashamed to be male due to the suffering of women.”
“Rigid gender norms need to be addressed. Equality, compassion, and respect for everyone should be taught, including (and due to the state of society today) a spotlight on how to treat women, women's rights, and what makes a good son, brother, father, husband, friend, colleague, neighbor.”
“Raising sons as feminists and with a sense of positive masculinity should and must go hand in hand, whilst also allowing for gender fluidity, individualism and ignoring rigid gender stereotypes,” Arif-Fear explained her position.
That reminds me of a plumber that came to fix my clogged sink. I told him how and why it was clogged and that he couldn't fix it by changing the siphon which he just did and left. It was worse afterwards. I called the company so they would fix it. When I explained what had happened the other plumber just shook his head. Ended up changing the whole pipe.
Now that we know some of the things that women don’t want, what are the things that women do need? “There are a couple of different types of cross-gender, non-romantic relationships. There are true platonic friends and then there are the friends-with-benefits friends,” Degges-White told Bored Panda. “In true platonic friendships, compared to FWB relationships, there is typically a lot more investment of time and energy in the relationship’s well-being. Compared to what they offer their FWBs, true friends are more likely to offer emotional support and constructive feedback; help out each other more often; share their feelings and seek support from one another; and involve one another in their larger social network.”
“Women typically do not need to “co-opt” a male friend’s attention and time, as they typically do in a romantic relationship. In romantic relationships, women tend to expect more exclusive attention from their partners and also they engage in more “territorial” behaviors than they would in a friendship. These might include engaging in PDAs and expecting a romantic partner to be receptive to these shows of affection as well as expecting a partner to initiate these as well. Women might also expect their romantic partners to prioritize them in ways that they do not expect friends to do—while we totally get that friends have other friends and busy lives, women may expect their romantic partners to put her ahead of others and other commitments in their lives.”
It's winter, I'm not shaving xD "you" shave! (If the guys had to shave like we did... Well some do. I'm sure they don't like it either :p expensive and tedious)
The professor continued: “In essence, friendships imply less concentrated/focused attention between the two people; a lot fewer discussions about the relationship itself—“defining the relationship” isn’t typically necessary in open and clear friendships; and no worries about a friend’s flirtation or sexual interest in other women.”
“Romantic relationships, however, often require partners to talk about the state/status of their relationship. There are also expectations about monogamy, fear of infidelity, and level of commitment/permanency of the relationship. However, the healthiest romantic relationships also include the basic elements of a healthy friendship—with the added bonus of mutual romantic and sexual attraction. Typically, romantic partners expect one another to prioritize their needs over those of friends and to devote time and attention to the relationship in ways that they would never expect friends to do.”
Cut your hair short and don’t ogle every man you see? apparently you’re a lesbian
According to professor Degges-White, the number one thing that most likely leads to women losing respect for men is “duplicity which leads to a loss of trust. This can be enacted through promises that aren’t kept, untruths that are told, or emotional or actual infidelity—sexual or platonic.”
She added: “Once a person has lost trust in another, respect evaporates just as quickly.”
“Cross-gender friendships can be awesome as they provide women and men with new perspectives, however research suggests that both genders fear that a partner’s cross-gender friendship will lead to infidelity,” Degges-White said. “However, women and men both believe that they can maintain a platonic friendship with a cross-gender friend. The important thing for partners to do with one another is to be open and upfront about their friendships with people of the opposite gender. If you try to hide a friendship, partners will assume that you are trying to hide something even bigger than “just a friendship.”
Being a parent is a full time job, either you take it or you dont, you are not a babysitter to your own child.
Degges-White looked at what women aged 18 to 75 need from the men in their lives.
According to the professor, women look for fairly similar qualities in romantic partners that they look for in male friends: they want to be treated fairly. But there are some differences in what women expect and need from men depending on the closeness of their relationships with them.
Dr. Degges-White explains that women expect all the men they meet in their lives to have moral integrity. Meanwhile, they also value “relational sensitivity” when it comes to male friends and partners. But when it comes to romantic partners, what the professor describes as “satisfying intimacy” is incredibly important to keep “the romantic spark burning.”
“Women should be given the same respect that men offer other men. When a person is made to feel disrespected or patronized, the relationship is likely to end sooner rather than later. In terms of romantic relationships, even when you’re angry or disappointed by a partner, respect should be maintained,” professor Degges-White explains.
The professor continued: “Women need men to show kindness, patience, understanding, empathy, and compassion. Regardless of the type of relationship, men and women should be considerate of each other's feelings.”
“Looking” isn’t harassment. Everyone looks and glances around at people and objects. Staring and being a nasty piece of s**t is.
Bored Panda also talked to Jacqui, for whom loyalty and respect are the most important qualities for men to have. "I would like men to appreciate what they have and be loyal and honest with not just their partner but themselves and although women can be just as bad these days. I'm speaking from my own perspective and I am old-school and loyalty is a big thing to me. And a lot if men I come across seem to be lacking this quality and others. Which has resulted in my being single for a long time."
"I have a son and I always have taught him and he knows that being honest is the best thing to do and be. As you will always be respected more for telling the truth. And that one woman is enough for any man. And that no matter what neither party should accept any kind of abuse or lack of putting there needs first. And always remember if treat her like Queen she will will treat you like a King."
Oh my God I couldn't agree more. Telling someone- anyone- to calm down has never been a good idea for me. You need to be more constructive than that- or leave them alone, normally one of those.
Jacqui continued: "All men are not the same: some men do appreciate and man-up, own and hold the own. It just seems these men are already spoken for. Maybe I've just had bad luck. So sometimes being very loyal and everything in one is sometimes not good enough for men. But this can also apply to women. In this day and age, I believe that males and females can be as bad as each other."
"But the sad thing is when someone as loyal and decent as myself who just wants a happy, settled life seems to get a kick in the teeth. Don't you find that this is common? Maybe they have been hurt too much, as I know I have, and stayed single for years because of it, but it seems no matter what you do or how secure I try to let them feel, pride is a big thing with men also. If you really love, care, appreciate, and value each other, then it shouldn't so hard. If it takes too much effort and drags you down, then it's nothing more than a toxic unhealthy relationship that will end in disaster. Men can be selfish and women, too. But sometimes you have to grow up and stop that nonsense and learn that if you can't be what your partner needs, let them go."
Don't. Tap. Me. On. My. Shoulder. Don't touch me. Seriously. I can hear an "excuse me"
Every time a man says he wants an old fashioned women . . . I agree to quit my job, stay home or shop at my convenience and wait for him to die early and leave me EVERYTHING. But that's not what they had in mind . . .
Note: this post originally had 54 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Women: Men, please treat us like humans. People on BP: I can't handle this man bashing 😩
On this article it's a bit silly to complain about "man-bashing", but sometimes there's articles where complaints are deserved. I can't remember any specific examples, but stuff like the article lauding the "anti-man spreading chair" is where it goes beyond "treat us like humans" and into "this thing men do that makes them comfortable is bad".
Load More Replies...Seriously, can we stop complaining about such trivial s**t as this!? I can understand a couple of these, but the vast majority are just stupid and are for a lack of ideas. While it is hard to comprehend, men have issues and angers too, ut are not talked about because of this kind of thing. I am not saying female issues shuld be ignored, I am simply saying we should stop shifting everything onto male shoulders.
I took some of them as just being humorous. I can think of a lot worse things that could happen.
Load More Replies...I think that while a lot of these are completely valid and true, some, such as the stuffed animal one and the holiday proposal one are more opinionated and don't apply to all women. Those ones are based on preference. Putting that aside however, while this post is valid, there are so many on this site like this. Women vs. Men stuff. It's pretty obvious BP is doing it for clout :/
Some are ok, some sound like angry bitching. Choose your battles ladies ;)
Yeah it's sad that legitimate concerns are mixed in with very nit picky situation dependant first world problems
Load More Replies...I have been down voting posts like these as soon as I see them. I dont' read them and I didn't read this one, I'm tired of seeing these. They only start arguments and we are feeding into it.
Yay! Happy New year everyone. Only the 3rd day of the year and already a men hating post on BP. CONGRATS! How would things turn out if someone made a post about annoying things women do to men? Not very well I bet.
I don't see anything about men's headwear in here -- no men-hatting at all.
Load More Replies...Yet another "man bash" post. Are some guys jerks? Absolutely. Are some women also jerks? Absolutely. Yet man bashing is all the rage here.
Exactly. If we changed men to women in the headline the world would burn. But somehow, this is ok? It's getting old. I don't want to live in a world where I have to explain to my two sons why women are such a_5_5 holes all the time.
Load More Replies...So you're part of the problem instead of the solution? How can women expect to find good men when man bashing is perfectly fine in their eyes? I wouldn't date a woman who thought this was ok, and I sure as hell wouldn't act this way around a woman I was interested in. The fact that you think this is fine, shows how immature you are.
Load More Replies...I'm a babe with a brain and just upvoted you.
Load More Replies...Wow, this just puts an explanation point on how obvious the divide is between women and men in general. We are wired completely differently. What one person finds to be an 'obvious' or intended offense wasn't necessarily intentional. We will never ALL see eye to eye but just need to make an effort to be polite and conscious of each others situations. All of this hatred is extremely non productive.
To not be included in this type of ridiculousness. If you're around toxic behaviour enough that you need to complain about it, ask yourself why you put yourself in that position. If the toxic behaviour is unavoidable simply smile and don't take it personally, because it isn't. Carrying around anger will only hurt you. Also stop stereotyping men, it makes you as bad as the ones you're bashing.
I love how this list was made by a man. Don’t know why. He didn’t even tweet these tweets. But it’s like, nice still.
I know jacqui Personally & & she is one Incredible woman, she knows what she's talking about. She an absolute Diamond. I Love Your article. I'm so proud of You.xx Well done.
Man here. Single, nice, not a total d**k. Staying out of the game, the 'battle of the sexes' is an utter shitshow in 2020!!
What is this 1960? In what country are most of these even a thing anymore? Oh wait...
This article is a joke and just used to get clicks. This morning the title said 54 what women dont want from men. This evening almost half the twitter posts where removed to fit some agenda and now its only 30. Yall suck
Very, very sad that in 2020 we, women, need to make such statements.
During the whole human history, pretty much until now, women had basically no rights. Can you please explain to me why is it "very, very sad" then?
Load More Replies...You're not missing any civil liberties, you are free to walk around at night anywhere you want. I wouldn't advise it, since some man (or maybe an animal) could potentially hurt you. Same goes for covering up/pretty much anything else, if you walk around in panties only, well, some bad man could get interested and so on... feels like you think all men are the same person, that guy that assaulted and raped some random girl at night isn't most likely the same guy that tells you to be friendly etc... I just don't see what are you really offering here, men are simply stronger and more aggressive, so situations like this are bound to happen, it might be not good, but it is what it is - what would be your solution, disallow men from being outside at night?
Load More Replies...That's not feminism. Feminism is about equal rights not women first
Load More Replies...Women: Men, please treat us like humans. People on BP: I can't handle this man bashing 😩
On this article it's a bit silly to complain about "man-bashing", but sometimes there's articles where complaints are deserved. I can't remember any specific examples, but stuff like the article lauding the "anti-man spreading chair" is where it goes beyond "treat us like humans" and into "this thing men do that makes them comfortable is bad".
Load More Replies...Seriously, can we stop complaining about such trivial s**t as this!? I can understand a couple of these, but the vast majority are just stupid and are for a lack of ideas. While it is hard to comprehend, men have issues and angers too, ut are not talked about because of this kind of thing. I am not saying female issues shuld be ignored, I am simply saying we should stop shifting everything onto male shoulders.
I took some of them as just being humorous. I can think of a lot worse things that could happen.
Load More Replies...I think that while a lot of these are completely valid and true, some, such as the stuffed animal one and the holiday proposal one are more opinionated and don't apply to all women. Those ones are based on preference. Putting that aside however, while this post is valid, there are so many on this site like this. Women vs. Men stuff. It's pretty obvious BP is doing it for clout :/
Some are ok, some sound like angry bitching. Choose your battles ladies ;)
Yeah it's sad that legitimate concerns are mixed in with very nit picky situation dependant first world problems
Load More Replies...I have been down voting posts like these as soon as I see them. I dont' read them and I didn't read this one, I'm tired of seeing these. They only start arguments and we are feeding into it.
Yay! Happy New year everyone. Only the 3rd day of the year and already a men hating post on BP. CONGRATS! How would things turn out if someone made a post about annoying things women do to men? Not very well I bet.
I don't see anything about men's headwear in here -- no men-hatting at all.
Load More Replies...Yet another "man bash" post. Are some guys jerks? Absolutely. Are some women also jerks? Absolutely. Yet man bashing is all the rage here.
Exactly. If we changed men to women in the headline the world would burn. But somehow, this is ok? It's getting old. I don't want to live in a world where I have to explain to my two sons why women are such a_5_5 holes all the time.
Load More Replies...So you're part of the problem instead of the solution? How can women expect to find good men when man bashing is perfectly fine in their eyes? I wouldn't date a woman who thought this was ok, and I sure as hell wouldn't act this way around a woman I was interested in. The fact that you think this is fine, shows how immature you are.
Load More Replies...I'm a babe with a brain and just upvoted you.
Load More Replies...Wow, this just puts an explanation point on how obvious the divide is between women and men in general. We are wired completely differently. What one person finds to be an 'obvious' or intended offense wasn't necessarily intentional. We will never ALL see eye to eye but just need to make an effort to be polite and conscious of each others situations. All of this hatred is extremely non productive.
To not be included in this type of ridiculousness. If you're around toxic behaviour enough that you need to complain about it, ask yourself why you put yourself in that position. If the toxic behaviour is unavoidable simply smile and don't take it personally, because it isn't. Carrying around anger will only hurt you. Also stop stereotyping men, it makes you as bad as the ones you're bashing.
I love how this list was made by a man. Don’t know why. He didn’t even tweet these tweets. But it’s like, nice still.
I know jacqui Personally & & she is one Incredible woman, she knows what she's talking about. She an absolute Diamond. I Love Your article. I'm so proud of You.xx Well done.
Man here. Single, nice, not a total d**k. Staying out of the game, the 'battle of the sexes' is an utter shitshow in 2020!!
What is this 1960? In what country are most of these even a thing anymore? Oh wait...
This article is a joke and just used to get clicks. This morning the title said 54 what women dont want from men. This evening almost half the twitter posts where removed to fit some agenda and now its only 30. Yall suck
Very, very sad that in 2020 we, women, need to make such statements.
During the whole human history, pretty much until now, women had basically no rights. Can you please explain to me why is it "very, very sad" then?
Load More Replies...You're not missing any civil liberties, you are free to walk around at night anywhere you want. I wouldn't advise it, since some man (or maybe an animal) could potentially hurt you. Same goes for covering up/pretty much anything else, if you walk around in panties only, well, some bad man could get interested and so on... feels like you think all men are the same person, that guy that assaulted and raped some random girl at night isn't most likely the same guy that tells you to be friendly etc... I just don't see what are you really offering here, men are simply stronger and more aggressive, so situations like this are bound to happen, it might be not good, but it is what it is - what would be your solution, disallow men from being outside at night?
Load More Replies...That's not feminism. Feminism is about equal rights not women first
Load More Replies...