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“And We Thank God For The Train That Hit Him”: 22 Things People Overheard At Funerals
Article created by: Ieva Pečiulytė
Funerals, by and large, are not the sort of events one attends to hear something funny, unless the deceased had a sense of humor and wanted to play one last joke. However, there is something about the mixture of loss, grief and brief, public attention that can somehow produce downright comical results, if one is willing to look past the morbid context.
A netizen asked “What’s the weirdest thing you ever heard in a funeral?” and people shared the wildest and most unhinged statements folks made. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts in the comments section below.
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#1
I was at a funeral recently for a friend who committed [self-harm]. Largely in part because he was gay and his family wouldn’t accept him. His dad was a seventh day Adventist and the preacher was saying that we all have a guardian Angel. That his guardian Angel could have saved him but he didn’t because it’s gods plan.
“And we thank god for the train that hit him, we thank god.”
We absolutely do not thank god, he was 20, I wanted to punch that guy in that mouth.
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#2
My good friend’s dad was an alcoholic. He shot himself after shooting his girlfriend in a drunken argument. My friend was to give the eulogy. “All my dad taught me was how to open a beer with a lighter” and walked away.
#3
"We all know he isn't going g to Heaven, he didn't go to church "
As a believer of Christ I would never say this at a funeral. It's not our place to question or judge others.
#5
Not said but felt really out of place when someone handed me popcorn..
My great uncle was an author who worked with Ripleys and covered alot of odd and spooky history. But his favorite subject was the circus so they hung old circus banners and handed out popcorn to everyone.
Hands down an amazing funeral full of laughs and interesting people.
The popcorn was the equivalent of Phoebe on Friends handing out 3D glasses at her grandmother's funeral.
#6
Preacher was talking about my mom (the deceased) and how she was a woman of God, a God-fearing woman, and one who walked with Jesus in her heart and all of this religious stuff. The only time my mom set foot in a church was when she was getting married. She might have burst into flames if she was ever forced to go to a church service. She took my Grandma to church when Grandma was unable to drive and was happy sitting in a cold car in the parking lot rather than coming inside.
Me, my husband and my daughter had to suppress a case of the giggles when the preacher said that. We couldn't look at each other bc we definitely would have started laughing.
#7
We put a can of beer in my father's casket. We're pretty sure we heard it pop open at the cemetery, before he went into the ground.
#8
Not so much weird but funny. When my grandmother passed, the priest sat with the family and asked for some fun stories about her to share at the service. My dad mentioned she “worked the polls,” referring to her working at the county during election season. The priest took “polls” to mean “poles”….
#9
I think the lady giving the eulogy was trying to say that even though the mother passed away her love is still with us, or something like that. But she started that section of the eulogy with
"Now that you are officially orphans..."
I couldn't believe it.
#11
The priest kept referring to the deceased as “Nanette”, but her name was “Ann”. Then went further, mentioning how unfair it was that she died at 20, but it was an open casket for a 94 year old woman.
#12
My parents told me about a funeral they attended where the man had [taken his own life]. The song the funeral home chose to play was Frank Sinatra's I Did It My Way.
Talk about awkward.
#13
At the end of her eulogy, the wife of the deceased introduced the girlfriend of the deceased, who then gave her own eulogy.
#14
The thud of someone collapsing and dying.
A lady had a sudden heart attack and died at my grandma’s funeral.
#16
My grandfather had a whole secret family show up to his funeral. Myself, and my Dad, and uncle all know about the secret family.......the rest of the family did not.
The only saving grace was the my family speaks English and doesn't know much Spanish. Grandads secret family was mainly Spanish speakers.
I will never forget comforting my grandmother that day. She was so confused as to who these other people were and why were they so sad and upset.
It was like watching a car wreck in slow motion.
#17
My dads funeral. My younger sister’s friend stood up and said that when she was a teenager she used to stay at our house JUST to see my dad and then went off on how they used to drink downstairs when everyone was asleep.
#18
My ex mother in law got up at her dad's funeral and did a speech almost entirely about her own horse.
#19
It's not really weird, but it got me to laugh, and i still laugh
"STOP ARGUING, THIS IS MY HUSBAND'S LAST FUNERAL"
And another on the same day by the same woman
YOU LIAR, YOU PROMISED ME 50 YEARS AND ONLY GAVE ME 48
and to add, i had some clothes i thought looked nice, but i guess they were not because she was pacing back and forth before finally saying
"Come here, you are not wearing that to my husband's funeral."
Then she gave me one of his old suits to wear XD.
#20
Kinda tame by the standards here, but at my uncles funeral, his ex wife (who had walked out on him to go off partying. Leaving him to raise two teenage boys alone) started taking on the role of grieving widow.
“I can’t believe he’s gone. He meant so much to me. Blah blah blah.”
While she was there with the guy she was living with who supported her through her tears.
Funny thing is she’s our actual blood relation, but we kept him in the family. Called him Uncle but just used her name when talking to her.
#21
At my granny’s funeral, the pastor that was leading her service, was giving his little speech about her life and all that. Keep in mind, this man had known my granny just about his whole life, decided to go on a tangent about people dying with MS and Cystic Fibrosis. He barely spoke a word about her life or her accomplishments etc. My granny died in her sleep and other than having a few strokes years prior, was in decent enough health. It completely ruined the funeral for me.
#22
The widow accidentally confirmed what many had suspected for years; she had cheated on her first husband with her now deceased husband. She talked about how they met and going down to visit him in another country for several years; you could literally see people doing the math in their heads.
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