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52 Vintage Products That Didn’t Quite Stand The Test Of Time
How often do you wish you could travel back in time to the 1900s, Pandas? Perhaps time travel is not something we can offer, but we can share a time capsule that reflects the 20th-century lifestyle quite well. Bored Panda came across a pretty fascinating page that shares advertisements, posters, and products from that era.
While scrolling through the content from the "Archaic Ads" page, you'll get a whiff of what it was like to live in that era: what products people had advertised to them, how the adverts were worded, and what (sometimes insane) visuals accompanied them. So, get into the shoes of a 20th-century consumer, Pandas, and see what the world had to offer!
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Discover more in 75 Fascinating Vintage Products That Were The Jam Back In The Day, But Now Look Odd
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#1
This 1957 Power Mower Of The Future Was Equipped With A Plastic Dome, Air Foam Cushion Seat, Electric Generator, Running Lights, Radio, And Air Conditioning
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#2
It's Hard To Believe Air Travel Was Ever Like This, Because Flying Today Is A Lot Like Riding A Bus
In 1966, American Airlines ordered several Boeing 747 Astroliners; the biggest commercial airplanes at the time. But by the time American received the new aircraft in 1970, the economy was in a recession and there was too much capacity in the industry to justify 303-seat jumbos. So American pulled 50 seats off each 747 and used the free space to create a passenger lounge. They even installed a Wurlitzer piano in each lounge. Unfortunately, ticket sales didn't justify the added expense and the piano-lounge-in-the-sky era ended quickly.
How many of these products were real, and how many could have been just jokes? Let's go through some of the most interesting ones and see the stories behind them!
Let's start with the "Lazy Man's Power Mower." This might seem like something out of a humor magazine, but that was something a company thought it could make. The contraption was featured on the cover of the do-it-yourself magazine Mechanix Illustrated in 1958.
Internet sources claim it never went into production and was more of a gimmick or a concept that some wild DIYer would attempt as a dare. Although lawnmowers have certainly become fancier since the '50s, manufacturers still haven't figured out how to install an air conditioner in them. For one, they could first figure out how to make mowers quieter!
#4
In The 1950s, Students Who Were Constantly Fidgeting Were Suffering From "Harsh Toilet Paper." Now We Attribute The Fidgeting To Adhd And Dose Kids With Adderall
#5
"...used By Many To Reduce The Waist Line." Now You Can Melt Those Pounds Away As You Golf Or Paint!
#6
Genuine Ocd Toy Gas Masks -- For Genuine Ocd Kids! Is It Really A "Toy" Or Is It "Genuine War Surplus?
The Niagara Wave and Rocking Bath might look gimmicky as h**l, too. However, that was a real product that proved to be quite useful during the Victorian era. The ridiculous invention wasn't just for fun; it was a form of hydrotherapy. This form of therapy was very trendy in the 1800s, and one company found a way to make it accessible at home.
The idea of this invention was that it could reproduce the feeling of being in the sea. Victorian doctors believed that water had magical healing properties, and this allowed people to enjoy the benefits of the sea without having to leave their homes.
#7
"It's Leap Year Girls! Catch Your Man With Taste-Tempting Donuts." If You Really Think Marriage Is A Trap, Why Bother With A Ball And Chain? Just Put The Donuts In A Bear Trap
#9
"I Wish I'd Never Married!"
Morton's trademark catchphrase, "When it rains, it pours" was created to illustrate the point that Morton Salt was free flowing even in rainy weather after the company began adding magnesium carbonate as an absorbing agent to its table salt in 1911 to ensure that it poured freely.
The rocking bath's mechanism was described in a 1981 issue of Lloyd's Weekly in the UK: "Only three pails of cold or hot water are required, and there is no splashing in the room to be apprehended. By placing a wedge under the curve of the back the bath can be made to serve the ordinary purposes of the tub."
#10
"Easy On The Sugar -- You're Reducing!" Why Don't You Shut The h**l Up Instead! And Why Is She Reducing? Was That His Idea?
#11
The Mosely Folding Bath Company Advertised This Folding Bath In The 1895 Montgomery Ward Catalog
This tub, disguised as a mirrored wardrobe, folded down and out of its wood casing into the room, revealing the water heater above. Since most folks still didn't have indoor plumbing, bathing required filling tubs with water, bucket by bucket
The inflatable sauna shorts were the sauna suits and body wraps of the 1900s. The idea behind the poofy shorts and similar modern solutions is that they trap heat and help people lose fat. In reality, they only help with temporary water weight loss and have no effect whatsoever on long-term fat loss.
#13
Advertisement In The Sears Roebuck Catalog For Laudanum. Opium’s Toxicity For Infants Was Common Knowledge Since Antiquity, And Yet In The Late 19th Century It Was Still In Widespread Use
#14
Claiming To Cure A ‘Torpid Liver’ And Beautify The Complexion, Crane’s Little Bon-Bon Pills Were Most Likely A Laxative Or Mild Diuretic
#15
If All You Have Is This Radiation Survival Kit, You'll Be Envying Those Who Were Vaporized At Ground Zero
Today, some people use sauna suits to work out, hoping that they burn more calories that way. But the water weight comes back as soon as the person hydrates. Research also shows that training or heating one body part doesn't melt fat off that one area.
One study found that men who wore sauna suits while exercising lost 23 more calories and oxidized slightly more fat during a 60-minute workout. But it still was not meaningful enough for visible results.
#17
The “Multiple Electric v******r” Uses 480 Little Nubs To Rub Your Scalp, Stimulating Blood Flow And Supposedly Ridding You Of Dandruff And Loose Hair
Which other products on this list caught your attention, Pandas? Was it the American Airlines "new" coach lounge with a piano? Or perhaps the fake snow made out of asbestos? Let us know your favorites from this list in the comments! If you're in the mood for more culture shock from the 1990s, check out these vintage ads that show us how cultural norms have changed throughout the years.
#19
Sears Travelknit Fourpiece. When You Can Only Afford One Suit, Make Sure It's An Ugly Green Doubleknit
#20
"Made From Heavy Awing Cloth In Bright,gaudy, Horrible Stripes." What The Well-Dressed Sleazeball Wears To Lunch
#22
The Electric Banana Stereo Phono Was Inspired By An Andy Warhol Painting Of A Banana For A 1967 Album By Velvet Underground
#23
The Evans Vacuum Cap ("A Scientific Method Of Growing Hair") Was Advertised Widely Just Before The Food & Drug Act Of 1906, But Not So Much Afterwards
#24
"Real Hair! Actually Trimmed From Davy, Peter, Micky & Mike" But It Doesn't Say From Their Heads
#25
In 1981, Electronic Mail Was Still An Exciting Innovation, But The First Email Spam Had Already Been Sent Three Years Earlier
#26
"Never Before A Woman Like This" In The 1950s, Pepsi Claimed Its Soft Drink Would Make Women Slimmer, Healthier And More Attractive
#27
"Many Times The Child Who Has Uncontrollable Flatulence Needs A Diet Correction -- Not A Spanking! Ah, The Good Old Days. Apparently, In The 1940s It Was Normal To Spank A Kid For f*****g
#28
In The 1940s, Englander Mattress Boosted Sales By Convincing Women That Their Husband Would Be Much Nicer To Them If They Could Only Get A Good Night's Sleep
#29
Cadillac Was Founded In 1902 By Henry Leland, Who Named The Company After Antoine De La Mothe Cadillac, The Founder Of Detroit
In 1908, when this ad was posted, Cadillac had brought the idea of interchangeable parts to the automotive industry and laid the ground work for the modern mass production of automobiles.
#30
In The 1890s, Sharpening Pencils (Or Other Writing Implements) Involved Sandpaper, Knives, And Files And This Kind Of Activity Was Not Appropriate For Women
#31
Shell Brags About Increasing Crop Yields
Shell brags about increasing crop yields with "nitrogation" which Shell defines as taking "hydrogen from petroleum gas" and combining it with "nitrogen from the air" to make a "potent food for hungry roots." In fact, the process fertilizes the soil by the addition of anhydrous ammonia from pressure tanks into the irrigation water.
#33
The First Foils For Cooking Were Made Out Of Tin In The Late 19th Century. Aluminum Foil Was First Manufactured In Switzerland In 1910
#34
In 1933, The American Can Company Produced The First Workable Beer Can
The first cans were made out of steel with a tin lining, so that the beer wouldn't take on a metallic taste. The cans were heavy and could only be opened with a "church key."
#37
This Poster Was Produced At Oak Ridge National Laboratory In 1947 To Remind Personnel Of Radiation Safety Practices
#38
"It's A Salad! It's A Dessert" It's A Dessert Topping...and A Floor Wax! (Saturday Night Live, 1976 -- 'New Shimmer', The Floor Wax That's Also A Dessert Topping)
#39
Before There Were Cans, All Soda And Beer Came In Bottles That Required A Deposit So That The Empties Could Be Returned, Cleaned And Reused
#42
The Speedy Weeny Debuted In 1947. It Cooked Hot Dogs In Seconds, Using Microwave Technology Developed For Radar In World War II
#48
In 1970, Ohio Art Invented A Toy Phonograph And Promoted It As The "World's Smallest Record Player." It Also Had The World's Worst Sound
#49
"Roger Put Me Into A Street Van. And I'm Not Coming Out." Why Not? Are You Being Held Hostage?
#50
The Johnny Astro Space Vehicle -- "The Most Exciting Toy Ever" -- Was Actually A Balloon That Used A Fan For "Lift-Off" And Controlled Flight
#51
"For Men Only! . . . Brand New Man-Talking, Power-Packed Patterns That Tell Her It's A Man's World . . . And Make Her So Happy It Is."
#52
Jell-O Brand Powder First Hit The Market In 1897
Over the years their advertising featured many recipes. In this ad from 1959, readers are told that the gelatin protein that is produced when animal bones, connective tissues and other similar meat by-products are boiled makes a delicious soft drink.
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