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45 People Whose Brain.exe Stopped Working Share The Weirdest And Funniest Things They’ve Done
Interview
Sometimes our mind just wanders off in the weirdest ways. It may happen when driving yourself home without realizing, pouring juice instead of milk into your coffee, or getting frustrated with a door that doesn’t unlock because it’s the neighbor's door.
These little mishaps occur due to a brain mode known as autopilot, which enables us to carry on doing tasks without consciously being aware of them. What’s more, we can perform tasks pretty reasonably, and it’s somewhat of a superhuman power we all share.
Other times, however, our autopilot brain takes us to more uncharted terrains. So we do things so weird and funny that you wonder how on earth they just happened. Read on for some of the funniest and weirdest stories from people who have been there and done that, as shared in response to this Ask Reddit thread.
Also, be sure to scroll down for Bored Panda’s interview with Dr. Gleb Tsipursky, the best-selling author and CEO of Disaster Avoidance Experts who shared some interesting insights about our brain’s autopilot.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Someone knocked on the bathroom stall door to check if it was available. I said come in.
Dr. Gleb Tsipursky, the author of multiple best-selling books including Leading Hybrid and Remote Teams (Intentional Insights, 2021), The Blindspots Between Us: How to Overcome Unconscious Cognitive Bias and Build Better Relationships (New Harbinger, 2020), and many more, told us that living on autopilot is necessary much of the time. “That's because otherwise, we would become overwhelmed with thinking through every little thing that we do,” he added.
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#2
I feed my cat while I make breakfast. One very sleep deprived morning I made cereal in her bowl and put her kibble in my cereal bowl. I didn't realize I f****d up until I shoved a giant spoonful of cat food in my mouth and chewed a few times.
Autistic apricot 3 years ago (edited)
It’s getting there (edit, we did it)
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#3
33 weeks pregnant, at work ALL day, super hungry when I got off work. Stopped by the store to pick up some things, water broke in the middle of the aisle so I called my husband to tell him to meet me at the hospital, but then I kept f*****g shopping until I had my very wanted food. Got in my car(labor had started slightly by now), drove home and made my food. Husband called an hour later... suddenly remembered my water had broken at the store, drove myself to the hospital and had our first son. Food was my mission, baby on the way was not getting in the way of those f*****g tacos apparently.
Justme 3 years ago
I firmly believe something hormonal/chemical happens in the brain when your water breaks. I’m not a dumb person, but when my water broke, I asked if it was okay for me to go back to work. I had to be repeatedly told by medical staff that yes I actually needed to go to the hospital.
Gabrielle Russell 3 years ago
Smart choice making those tacos. In the US that would be your LAST time eating before the baby was born, and labor can last quite a while. I don’t care what the line of reasoning is supposed to be, you need your strength up for pushing.
Well then 3 years ago
Came in here to say exactly this. No food or water. It's truly maddening. BUT, my nephews' wife just had their first and he was sending us pics throughout while she was in labor. In one she was eating! I was like wth! Apparently they don't do that anymore. Meanwhile I was asking for ice and hiding it behind my back until it melted just to have something to drink 😤
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#4
Had a pet rat out roaming with me while I made some toast. cleaned up, put the rat in the fridge and didn't realise until I put the butter in the cage that *oh s**t*
Went to reclaim the rat, she was all "F**k off, the food box is MINE now". Already gotten into the ham.
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
I can't let my boss hear me laughing but oh my gosh, that's hilarious to picture. The rat was like "it's a little chilly in here but oh my god, look at this feast!!!"
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Aww, big ratty yawn! Good thing they're well adapted to the cold!
Celesta 3 years ago
I don't think that is a yawn. There is something stuck in his little finger
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debrina blackmoon 3 years ago (edited)
Yeah, really keep that butter contained; it's very unpredictable and should never be left to wander unsupervised, all sneaky and aggressive so often, feral or not!
Having said that, Dr. Tsipursky argues that our autopilot system also makes systematic errors that can get us into a lot of trouble. “These errors are called cognitive biases and they are remnants from our evolutionary background. They served our ancestors well in the ancient savanna, but harm us in the modern world.”
“That's why we tend to do things like eating way more than we intend at social events (restraint bias), buying high and selling low in the stock market (loss aversion bias), and sticking with a relationship long past the time when it should end (sunken costs bias),” Dr. Tsipursky explained.
#5
I cared for a horse for several years.
First thing in the morning I would go put feed and water in the field, lead her out, and close the fence behind her.
One morning as I'm walking back into my house, I hear a weird sound behind me. The sound of hooves on linoleum.
She looked as surprised as I was that I had brought her into my kitchen. Luckily, she never told anyone so my secret is still safe.
Laura Gillette 3 years ago
Haha I love how the horse is like, "ok, this is highly irregular, but I'll just go with it. Where we going?"
Maisey Myles 3 years ago
My pony used to do that all the time. She'd get out of the paddock and there she was at the back door. Of course the kids would let her in.
#6
Pulled into my complex, walked up the stairs, my keys wouldn't open the door and then I realized it had been seven years since I had lived there.
Jaya 3 years ago
We've all had that dream where we're stressing about our high school exam, and then we wake up and realize we graduated high school 10 years ago. This person took that to a whole new level.
Sue User 3 years ago
Mine is that I cant find my locker. And i have been out school for over 20 years.
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Robert T 3 years ago (edited)
I managed to stop myself before I got that far not long after I moved house. First part of my journey home was the same direction, but I forgot to turn off where I needed to for my new place and carried on driving towards the old one for quite a while before realising.
Black Pearl 3 years ago (edited)
Can you imagine if the owner of the complex had been there and seen OP do that?
Sandor M 3 years ago
Sht happens I complexes. I remember my aunt and my grandma entering in the apartment bellow us,my grandma was first, hugged the kid - "Sandor,you grew so much" , my aunt was the second and she realized the mistake
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Rahim Carlock 3 years ago
Went to a bunch of schools. Three years three schools. They had the same layout almost exactly except for the boys room and the girls room.
Jessi Lovely 3 years ago
I move a lot and I’ve done this a couple time 😆 never after 7 years tho, that’s something else lmao
Robert Trebor 3 years ago
Spent a minute trying to click into a truck similar to the one I traded in a year before. White (old) v. Gray (new), too. Frustrated. Angry. (that's just ME), then two brain cells found each other, and I walked on.
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
OMG! I was at a show (I work with rock bands) and a girl I was dating (now my wife! LOL) pissed me off so bad, I left in a fury and drove home 35 miles away north only to realise I didn't live there anymore that I live 6 miles south of the venue. Had to stupidly drive 45 miles back to my new home.
Anton 3 years ago
I once couldn't get my apartment door open so I rang the doorbell 3am in the morning continuously until with furious anger in my voice I phoned my flatmate and screamed at him to open the bloody door. After a while he phoned back only to tell me the door is open but I'm not there. I was at the wrong door. When I got to the lift I saw the actual occupant open the door to peek at the bewildered drunken bafoon who scared his family into prayer.
#7
Oh man. Okay, I'm late to the party here, but I've got a great answer for this. I was working as a summer counselor at a college, helping incoming freshmen pick classes and stuff like that. The job was exhausting, but I loved it, so I poured my all into it, making arts and crafts in my off time to make the experience more fun for the kids, writing skits, building sets and costumes, that sort of thing. The result was that I barely slept (3-4 hours per night, for 3 months on end). One night, around 3 am, just as I was going to bed, I realized that I'd forgotten to tell my kids that tomorrow's meeting was in my office, and not at the outside benches where we'd met the day before. Oops! So I sat down to write a note for each of my students. Here's what I wrote: Hi (Student Name), Just letting you know that we're all meeting in my office tomorrow at 9 am instead of at the benches. Thanks, Kahzgul Simple, right? i sat down to write out 12 notes and I was dozing off as I did so. Finally got them all done around 4 am and delivered them under each student's dorm room door. Slept for 3 hours! The next morning at 9 am sharp, the students started filing into my office. As they sat in the chairs, one asked, "Mr. Kahzgul, why didn't I get a funny note like everyone else?" Um... what? I didn't write any funny notes. I wrote.. Oh God. I had been dozing off... WHAT DID I WRITE??? And here, dear reader, is what the notes said: Dear (student), Just letting you know that I see bicycles bicycling. --Kahzgul Dear (student), Just letting you know that we're all crazy everywhere. You can eat here, enjoy the food. Thanks, Kahzguuuuuul Dear Student (I actually wrote "student" instead of their name), Student student student. Student. --Kahzgul Dear (student), Just letting you know that office buildings explode. Love, Kahzgul Dear (student), I don't know why I'm writing this. I see it. Maybe. Dear (student), Just letting you know that we're all meeting people all the time everywhere we go. Thanks, Kahzgul (and then I drew a heart with an arrow through it) Dear (student), Just letting you know that we're all meeting in my room tomorrow morning at 9 am. SHARP! sharp. *sharp*. **SHARPPPPP**. --**KAHZGUL** (sharp) The other notes were all the intended message. Needless to say, I was freaked the hell out. Thank GOD my students thought this s**t was hilarious, because I do not, to this day, remember writing any of those (but they were definitely in my handwriting).
Justme 3 years ago
Coulda just written 1 note and taped it to the bench where you met yesterday.
Jaya 3 years ago
I can't decide which note I find funniest, there are so many gems in there! I also like how wholesome it is. He accidentally shows what he's thinking, and all of them are just innocent weird things. It shows who you are underneath, like some people get drunk and do nasty stuff and other people get drunk and only do silly nice things.
Mary Jean Walker 3 years ago
I laughed so hard at this that my foster cat got scared and ran away
Fortunately, we can learn about these cognitive biases and retrain our brains to overcome them, Dr. Tsipursky claims. According to him, it will lead us to have much better relationships, professional careers, and personal habits and routines.
#8
Was at my fiances house for dinner. Had to leave early. Was in a rush. Kissed her dad on the way out.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Oh well.... At least you didn't left home with no pants on....... Thank fu.... It was a breesy day or else i wouldn't had noticed....
#9
one time, one of the kids asked for... s**t i don't even remember what. probably asked for a sandwich or something. on autopilot(i was tired and sick) i go into the kitchen, got a bowl out of the cabinet, sliced up a bunch of ham, put that in the bowl, poured in apple juice, stuck a slice of toast and a teabag on top and handed it to him with a steak knife. kiddo was smart. he watched me do all that, took the bowl and knife, said 'thank you', put it on the table and went and got my wife and said 'daddy's super tired' and showed her what i'd done. she put me to bed after that.
Julieandthephatones 3 years ago
why r all of these so damn funny!!!! im dying here from laughter
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
It's not just kids who need to be tucked away for beddie-byes sometimes!
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
The fact that the child was like, "Oh, god, this is bad. Not going to make a scene, just going to get mom" is amazing. Bless them.
Tired Disaster 3 years ago
Imagine you go and ask your dad for food and just watching him make that cereal from heII and then actually having it handed to you....
#10
I tried to put a pacifier in my mother's mouth as opposed to infant she was holding. The best part is that she was nagging the hell out of me.
Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
This does not sound like a mistake! It might have been subconscious, but the pacifier went into the correct mouth!
Scott Rackley 3 years ago
Yup Brain: that sound needs to stop Hand: got a pacifier Brain: do it
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Tiger Pearl 3 years ago
Oh gosh…one night I woke up and realized I had been patting my hubby on the behind and saying, “shhh, it’s okay, shhh.” I guess he was moving around a bit (or snoring) and my sleeping brain was trying to calm him lol. The next morning I told him about it, and he mentioned that he had the best sleep in a while 😂
Laura Gillette 3 years ago
Sometimes when I'm nursing my son he tries to put his pacifier in my mouth 😂.
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
My twins do that, too! They also try to feed me, wipe my mouth, and they'll pat me when I say "ouch"!
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3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago
Should have just gone with it ;P Shhhh, mom, shhh shhh. Shhhh. No really, shut up.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I love that Americans call it a pacifier. We call it a dummy, which has a similar meaning, but we rarely use the word dummy in that sense these days so it seems slightly meaningless.
“To retrain our brains requires us, first of all, to understand the dangers of living on autopilot: in other words, learn about each of these biases and how they impact us. After learning about these biases, we can take practical and proactive steps to address them in our minds.”
Moreover, “we can retrain our autopilot system to make better decisions in the moment and overcome those dangerous mental blind spots stemming from our evolutionary background,” Dr. Tsipursky concluded.
#11
Cleaning up my face with electric clippers. Thought, "Oh, missed a spot." and proceeded to shave off my f*****g eyebrow.
Al Christensen 3 years ago (edited)
I'm looking after a sick friend. He had started a new medication the day before and it essentially made him very high. Confused cognition, short-term memory almost nonfunctional, hallucinations... Well, in the middle of the night he was certain it was morning and he had to get ready for a doctor appointment (which had actually been the day before) and started getting cleaned up. I had been watching him the past 30 hours, just to make sure he didn't hurt himself or wander off, so I was giving him some slack as he washed up and started to shave (electric shaver). No harm in that, right? That's when he took off part of an eyebrow.
#12
Meeting my brother's in-laws for the first time. They asked me what my name was. I said "Pete". My name is Tiffani.
#13
I sleepwalk once in a while. Recently I got up at 2am and fed the dog. My girlfriend woke up and was like "wtf, did you just feed the dog? What time is it?"
Apparently I looked her in the eye and said "everyone loves a midnight snack."
Firefly 3 years ago
He probably always looked back fondly on that one miraculous night where an extra meal appeared and wondered wistfully if it would ever occur again.
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Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
I was napping with my wife (GF at the time) and she looked at me, said "I'm on fire" and proceeded to pat herself as if putting out a fire. Then she stopped and started snoring. Later we laugh and she says she has no recollection of doing that
Deborah Harris 3 years ago
As you find out in the morning the dog had enjoyed a nicely cooked steak with all the trimmings
KikiM 3 years ago
My ex also sleep walked. He shook me awake one night and insisted we had to save our cat while pointing a camera hanging on the bookcase. Another time I hear him get up and I ask him where he is going, as he's in his underwear. He looks at me all glassy eyed and says "OUT!". I tell him to go back to sleep and he does.
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
Don't we all? Why not doggo?? Feed the cats too even if you have no cats! LOL!
Pretty Pink Sky Photography 3 years ago
Once I had a very realistic dream in which I was dying of thirst. I found the last water bottle and unscrewed the top, took a long drink of… hairspray. I drank hairspray. My throat was sore for days.
#14
Someone knocked at my door and i knocked back...
Robert Trebor 3 years ago
Knocked on my brother's door at 10 at night. "Who is it?" "Me." Once we got that straightened out, he opened the door before putting his shotgun away. Where he lived used to be a pretty rough neighborhood.
#15
I ordered a meatlong football from subway. I then got upset when the dude had no idea what I wanted.
Then we both laughed.
nikhil gaidhani 3 years ago (edited)
I once ordered a meal from McDonald's drive thru ( while hearing a podcast), then paid at the window, got the receipt and drove off to pick up my wife. When she asked for the meal , I only had the receipt.
Black Pearl 3 years ago
This reminds me of a post I saw once where someone when to Subway and ordered a "mootball feetlong" and then just walked out. I think about that a lot.
KING ILLEGAL FOREST 3 years ago
One time I tried to order a hot drop soup from the local Chinese food restaurant. Lady on the phone was like "small or la- .... what?"
Elephant Girl 3 years ago
Once when I was working at Burger King the computers went down. I was taking orders up front, and yelled to the kitchen that a customer wanted a pickle no whopper.
Janelle Gilbert 3 years ago (edited)
I once went to McDonald's drive thru to get a quick dinner for my husband and me. I ordered 2 Whoppers with cheese and 2 small fries. When the drive-thru employee said they didn't have Whoppers, I was indignant as this is what they are famous for. I even said, "You don't have WHOPPERS. Seriously?" Then I realized...they are famous for Whoppers at Burger King, not McDonald's. Ugh.
Heather Talma 3 years ago
I initially read this as the correct phrase so I might've just started making it without realizing.
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
Man, I must be tired. I read that exactly as "footlong meatball" and thought, "wait, they don't have those anymore?"
#16
Spent ages cooking dinner only to pick the plate up and empty it straight into the bin. I was so tired and hungry, I cried
Zedrapazia 3 years ago
I'd have taken it back out to eat, most thing in the trash are anyway plastic packages and not too dirty
Tenement_Funster 3 years ago
I mean, depends. Here in Austria we seperate our trash and food goes either in the organic waste or the general rubbish (everything that does not belong in the paper, plastic, tin, glass or organic waste.) Wouldn't want to eat out of neither of them.
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KnightOwl 3 years ago
I've done this so many times, sometimes I'm too exhausted and/or too sore to make something else (I have a chronic pain condition) so most of the time I end up going to bed hungry or occasionally i force myself to throw together a quick sandwich (so I can take pain meds, taking them on an empty stomach makes me sick) I've cried myself to sleep a few times because I'm so hungry but physically can't move to get food. It's the only time I ever wish I had a partner or roommate living with me. (I've lived alone for 18yrs and love it)
Sue User 3 years ago
Cereal. Peanut butter out of the jar. Bonus because a spoon is easier to eat with. ( Been there )
Load More Replies... Robert Trebor 3 years ago
I've broken eggs into a transfer bowl (to minimize shell fragment fallout), then poured the egg down the drain.
Philly Bob 1 year ago
I did something similar by making some of the best chicken stock for soup I ever made. Cooked it for hours, took it off the stove and strained out the bones etc. into the strainer but instead of doing it over another pot, I did it over an open drain. Yep, I saved the bones and skin and all and poured all of that lovely stock down the tube.
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TheEndIsNigh🇨🇦and🇬🇧in🇺🇲 3 years ago
I did this once, and broke into tears as well ☹️ One year, our area experienced such a terrible drought, that the hay supply was limited, and what was available was too high for a lot of people to afford. At the time, I was a young Veterinarian whose parents own a large ranch and their own hay fields, so I spent a lot of days burning the candle at both ends delivering hay my parents donated to help people out, and caring for the animals that were having a tough time because they weren't getting enough food. It was rough! I walked in the door one night dead on my feet, but so hungry it felt like my stomach was folding in on itself. Made some food, went to throw away a wrapper, and instead tossed my food in the bin. I sobbed for at least 10 minutes.
#17
My husband and I had an inside joke. Whenever someone lost something, the other person always asked, "have you checked inside your butt?" I was in a meeting at work (conservative and traditional corporate office) one day and a coworker said, "I can't find my pen." Without any thought or hesitation I quickly responded, "have you checked inside your butt?" As soon as I said it, I snapped back to reality and realized I was at work. As you can imagine, everyone went silent and stared at me as my face turned bright red.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
My friends and I when I was in my late teens always said "you've eaten it' when someone couldn't remember where they had left something. Not funny really, but amused us. One day in work someone came and told me so and so couldn't find her paperwork for the day, I said 'she has eaten it' and went off to print a copy. So and so came in - a rather large overweight girl - really upset 'what are you trying to say'. Luckily, she saw the humour.
Black Pearl 3 years ago
My best friend makes jokes about me eating things sometimes because she thinks I stole a card in a game once and joked that I ate it when I said I didn't have it.
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TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Yea..... I'v done a very similar thing as well, i had a joke with my male coworkers, everytime One of us Said something that we didn't agree, the answer would be a big " blow me " once i was talking with One of my female coworkers and.... Well lets just say that thank fu... She hás a great sence of humor.
Robert T 3 years ago
The quick recovery is to add "... down with a feather". ;-)
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And i was like WTF!! 3 years ago
Omg, that happened to me too, and more than once. My gf and i have this thing that when someone farts or burps we say nice and thanks. So, my boss burped loudly once thinking he was alone in the building, and i yelled NICE (i was on autopilot, tired, was a long week and i was focused on typing some report). He entered my office and was kinda red and said that he thought he was alone... Lol :D
AnonymousApple 3 years ago
I was in a meeting at a conservative, traditional law firm and my boss was joking about how I should get a whip to keep all the attorneys in line. Someone else said, "I bet she already has a whip," and I drew an absolute blank and had no idea what to say and gradually, everyone in the room realized that I did, in fact, own a whip.
Deborah Allen 3 years ago
My husband and I had an inside joke. Whenever someone lost something, the other person always asked, "have you checked inside your butt?" I was in a meeting at work (conservative and traditional corporate office) one day and a coworker said, "I can't find my pen." Without any thought or hesitation I quickly responded, "have you checked inside your butt?" As soon as I said it, I snapped back to reality and realized I was at work. As you can imagine, everyone went silent and stared at me as my face turned bright red.
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#18
Had been playing a lot of skyrim recently and was walking to the bus stop and saw a patch of clover. Started towards it and thought to myself....i should harvest those, i could use some potion ingredients. Immediately thought to myself, wtf brain, w'ere outside.
Sobeida Avitia 3 years ago
Second time heading to buy a soda I saw a guy on a red motorcycle. I decided I wanted it. And mentally began preparing myself to kick him off the bike and take it. Then I realized I can't even do that I've.
Jaya 3 years ago
Oh my god, can you imagine if you didn't realize until after you've done it, and then having to explain to this poor guy why you kicked him off his bike. Lol.
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MonkeyInTheMiddle 3 years ago
A long time ago, I'd been playing Minecraft for a while with my friends and we went outside and I said "Watch out for Endermites!" and then was like, what did I just say-
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
I had been playing way too much LEGO Batman and found myself impulsively wanting to smash things in order to get money.
Black Pearl 3 years ago
I play Hollow Knight all the time and I remember one day I saw a white flower and thought "it's a delicate flower!!" Then I realized that those don't exist and it was just a daisy.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Then I took an - oh, come on we all know the rest.
Load More Replies... Sobeida Avitia 3 years ago
LMAO. I was playing a lot of grand theft auto. And as I was walking towards the bank I noticed a cop on a motorcycle and immediately reached down for my bazooka.
Fred Van Der Zee 3 years ago
I had that during the time I played World of Warcraft... a lot, like till 4 in the morning every day. So, one night after another long gaming session, I went to work. While driving, I saw - very clearly - a Night Elf standing on the side of the highway. I realized then I had to cut down on playing.
RandomFrog(He/They️️) 3 years ago
I did a kinda opposite. I had been playing Minecraft for probs three hours straight as a kid (last day of summer my parents were spoiling us) and my mom shouted dinner time! So I turned my character and ran in the direction of the dining room in the game lmao.
#19
Loaded up my toothbrush with toothpaste and proceeded to brush my hair with it instead of my teeth
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago (edited)
In my early 20s, I used to spray an old toothbrush with hairspray and comb it over flyaways. It’s been years. The other day, while FaceTiming my mother and blabbing about work, I squirted toothpaste on my toothbrush and started combing it through my hair 😅 didn’t even notice until she was like “what is happening right now….”
Black Pearl 3 years ago
I'm sorry for laughing so much but this is hilarious
Load More Replies... Emmydearest 3 years ago
I thought I was spraying dry shampoo on my hair. I sprayed and sprayed but I couldn't see it (it's a white powder). Then I realized I had sprayed my hair with half a bottle of deodorant. I had to wash my hair, it was unbearably smelly!
Valter 3 years ago (edited)
I put the toothpaste in my razor blade and try to brush my teeth...
Monday 3 years ago
I did that too! I was so very relieved that my brain caught up to wtf I was doing before I put the razor in my mouth.
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Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
Try accidentally brushing your teeth with brylcreem (back n the 60's! LOL!)
Steven Meyer 3 years ago
I loaded my toothbrush up with Ben gay once, I wouldn’t recommend you do that ever!
#20
*sighs* It had been a long, rough day at work. Once I got home I really had to pee, I pulled down my pants, sat and started peeing. I forgot a step. Pull down underwear. You read it right everyone, I pissed myself on the toilet. EDIT - Fun fact, I never shared my embarrassing moment with my husband. I wanted to share some of the funny responses I got and finally just told him. He hasn't stopped laughing yet. (He was having a bad day so I'm glad I shared.)
Mahayana 3 years ago
Saddly I'va done it with number 2... an explosive number 2...
Load More Replies... Holly Allen 3 years ago
I sat on a cold lid before I realized I hadn't put the lid up, that'll wake you up!
Lizzy Crit 3 years ago
So will the seat being fully up at 2AM and landing butt first in the water
Load More Replies... KING ILLEGAL FOREST 3 years ago
One of my college buddies did this in the airport, except he had to poo. Some of it also got on his pants, and no matter how hard he tried cleaning it, the faint smell of poo just WOULD NOT go away. That was a long flight.
Autistic apricot 3 years ago (edited)
At least you were on the toilet, that could of ended badly 😅
ERIKA H. 3 years ago
One time i was wearing an extra long cardigan (thr ones that go past your knees) and needed to pee really bad. Rushing to use the tolet, I hadn't realized the entire bottom of my cardigan was completely dunked into the toilet. So not only did I pee all over it, it was soaked in dirty toilet water. Did i mention it was also a public restroom? 🤮
Hollysmom 3 years ago
I did this at home with my bathrobe. Yours is way worse
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#21
I drove a city bus in college. My route and my commute home had a road that overlapped. Driving home from work one night I ended up doing my bus route instead of my commute home and didn't realize it until I ended up in the bus terminal at the end of the line. I guess it was better than driving into my apartment complex with the city bus.
Ange Marsden 3 years ago
I got a car after 3 years of bussing around and out of habit started driving everywhere on bus routes - unbelievably inefficient...but better than the times I'd find myself trying to take pedestrian short cuts
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago (edited)
I was on the bus once and after about ten minutes the driver suddenly pulled over and turned around to tell us "oh god I'm sorry I just realised I'm driving in the wrong direction! It's my first day!" We told him don't worry about it and he found a spot to turn around.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
At least he apologised. On a regular bus route I took, it altered slightly according to time of day. We had a number of bus drivers take the wrong route and say nothing even when people tried to correct them. It wasn't massively out of the way but if it missed your usual stop you would have to walk an extra street over.
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Tammy Wait 2 years ago
I did that once,almost took my bus home. It was a mini bus so no one freaked out to bad.
Mya Lugar 3 years ago
Decades ago, I was walking out of a 7/11 store early in the morning. I absent mindedly opened the car door, sat down and shut the door. I ten looked over at the passenger seat and saw a small stack of textbooks, which I began to flip though with astonishment that someone put them in my car. Heard a tap on the window and a woman with an equally confused look says "Uh, can I help you?" (Her car)
#22
When I was in school (6th grade I think) my mom would make my bagged lunch. She would wrap soda cans with aluminum foil so they would stay cold (pretty sure that doesn't work). One day I un-wrapped my soda and discovered she packed me a beer that day.
Navindu Wijewardena 3 years ago
My uncle once dressed for school, got his bag ready... at 6 in the evening
Sleepy children love Moon 3 years ago
One time I did that at like 1 in the morning
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Jaya 3 years ago
This made me curious about using aluminum foil for keeping cans cold, which I never heard of, according to a very quick Google search it does apparently work.
Dynein 3 years ago (edited)
A quick google search on my side indicates that the effect would be negligible (as I would have suspected). Aluminum can reflect heat, but it's not going to make much of a difference at normal temperatures. Crinkling it would create air pockets which *would* help with insulation - but a piece of cloth or some styrofoam has those, too, and would work so much better. It's different when you want to keep something *hot* rather than cold, because then air flow comes into play. Rising hot air and rising vapor contribute a lot to things cooling down, which something comparatively air tight and water proof such as aluminum foil can prevent well.
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Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
I'd kept REAL quiet on that one and found a nice tree on the school lot and had a cold one! LOL!
Kelly Lee 3 years ago
That's hilarious but these days you would have been expelled from school and your parents investigated by Child Protective Services. Parents just can't make funny mistakes anymore without the government thinking they are psychopaths with the murder of children on their minds.
#23
Answered my cell phone "[911 center] what's the location of your emergency?" Makes my spouse laugh, my friends roll their eyes, and scares the f**k out of telemarketers. 12 hr night shifts are a b***h.
Penny Hernandez 3 years ago
Automobile 'your warranty is expiring' telemarketers sometimes get this response from me: All fluttery and won't let them ask a question. Tell them I'm an elderly widow (which I am). Ask them what to do and will they help me, still won't them get a word in edgewise. Finally let them ask me for the year and model of my car, and I answer them truthfully: 1970 Chevy Nova, which is true, though I do have another car. They hang up.
Lizzy Crit 3 years ago (edited)
Answered the phone at my new work phone with my old work phone greeting. Client didn't bat an eye we had a normal conversation. After I hung up, the nurse sitting next to me said "You know you answered that as Bumpkin Veterinary Hospital, right?" No, no I did not. We were working at City Women's Health. The new mom I talked to must have been equally tired that day.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
My co-worker did that once. She worked at two (sometimes more) preschools and one day answered the phone saying the name of the wrong kinder. Very confused parent on the other end of the phone!
Load More Replies... Ansi 3 years ago
I read about this somewhere an remembered to do it IRL 😁 I had some kids (I heard them giggle) prankcall my number twice, the third time I answered: Anderssons funeral parlour, good afternoon how can I help you? They hang up at once and then called back to confirm what I just said and they said they were sorry and called the wrong number. 🤣 It's probably the only time in my life I actually came up with a clever answer instead of thinking of something the next day.
Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago
My son was sitting at the Toyota dealer while our 2005 Camry was getting serviced. A salesperson came over quite keen to persuade him to sell our car. And presumably buy another one, but more because they're desperate for used cars due to the shortage of new ones and people wanting to buy anything that runs. His face dropped and he scurried off when he was told it was 17 years old. Funny really. We're seniors and haven't been going anywhere much for years. It's our third Camry in perfect condition with low mileage, and we sold a previous one that was 15 years old within 24 hours of it being offered for sale. Nope, I'm not sponsored, lol. 😊
#24
Was taking my belt off at airport security. After I unbuckled, I momentarily thought I was in the bathroom and started unzipping. Stopped myself half a second before I pulled everything down.
#25
Poured orange juice instead of milk into my cereal, put the bowl of cereal into the fridge, walked back to the table with nothing wondering where the f**k I put my cereal.
Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
I put salt (instead of sugar) on corn flakes once. Never made that mistake again
Yvette Desmarais 3 years ago
Been there. Took me forever to find my phone in the dresser drawer and my key in the freezer.
Susan Hepp-Cymbalista 3 years ago
I once poured orange juice instead of cream into my espresso! I didn't want to waste it, so drank it... It tasted like what I *imagine* house paint would taste like.
#26
When my daughter was first born I would find myself burping the dog
Ogidi Girl 3 years ago
No, one is a baby and one is a dog. Both lovely lovable entities but not the same
Load More Replies... Kelli Girouard 3 years ago
That's a funny mental image. The dog was probably thinking "This is different, but petting is petting. I'll take it."
Alysoun Learmonth 3 years ago (edited)
Standing in a supermarket checkout line with a two kilo bag of potatoes....rocking and patting it's"back"
Display Name 3 years ago
Yo, I don't like ta babi talk but after 3 or 4 years with my dog I find myself talking to my cousins like they are dogs and whistling and doing the cha cha thing to babies🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Jill Bussey 3 years ago
Have you ever watched new parents rocking their shopping trolleys? No baby in sight.
#27
As most males are undoubtedly aware, men's restrooms usually have a fairly standard design: There's a row of sinks, followed by a row of urinals, and then finally a handful of stalls. The accepted etiquette for the men's room is nigh-on universal, but for those who might not know (and there seem to be a fair number of you), it can be described as such: 1. Enter the restroom. 2. If there is a urinal available and the ones next to it are *not* in use, approach and do your business. 3. If there is a urinal available and the ones next to it *are* in use, find another urinal. 4. If no other urinals are available (save for ones with adjacent users), approach, stare straight ahead, and finish as quickly as possible. 5. If there are *no* urinals available, use a stall. Be sure to close and lock the door. 6. If there are no urinals *or* stalls available, stand behind a urinal - keeping as much distance between you and the current occupant as possible - and pretend to be very interested in either the floor or the ceiling. These rules are in place for the specific purpose of minimizing embarrassment, and they work well if everyone follows them. Unfortunately, while in a caffeine-deprived haze, I managed to accidentally exploit an unfortunate loophole. I had walked into the restroom, intent on... well, you can guess... and discovered that none of the urinals were available. Fortunately, one of the stall doors was ajar, indicating that it was unoccupied... or so I thought. Upon entering the stall in question, I discovered that it was already in use by someone who had neglected to close the door, and who was midway through their "expulsion of fluids." Had I been in a sounder state of mind, I would have hurriedly exited and waited for a different section of the facility to become available. As it happened, I decided that the best course of action was to lounge against the wall - still inside of the stall, mind you - and twiddle with my phone until the guy finished his performance. It was only as he was nearing completion that I realized what I was doing, and I rushed to exit the stall before my unwitting co-occupant noticed my presence. Of course, that was right when someone *else* entered the restroom. They saw me leave the stall, assumed that it was empty, and walked forward... right into the *original* occupant, who was making his own exit. I decided to hold it in for a while after that. **TL;DR: There's a party in the men's room, but no-one was invited.**
BenMaharaj 3 years ago
That is the best description of male restroom protocol I have ever heard.
Scp-049 3 years ago
How would you like it if there was someone staring at you while you are doing your business? It is not very fragile to have simple rules in place
Load More Replies... #28
I'm a security guard for Amazon and I have to do bathroom checks. Caught myself yelling "SECURITY!" right before going to the restroom at a bar on my day off. Thank God it was empty.
keighterz 3 years ago
The employees duh. Can’t let them spend too long peeing /s
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Neal Evans 3 years ago
Everybody slams Amazon as they should but someone is using their services
#29
grabbing my keys, phone, wallet, etc. before work.
why is there a tv remote in my car?
the etc. included the tv remote
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago (edited)
Ah yes. Brought my tv remote to work once last year while leaving my cell phone on the couch. Alarm went off at 9am and my cats had to live with it until my lunch break. Will never live that one down.
Natasha Tomes 3 years ago
I once took our cordless phone on the school bus. Then tried to phone home to tell my parents when I realized I had it. This was well before cell phones.
Robert T 3 years ago
You forgot your little mantra. I use the one from Nuns on the Run for making the sign of the cross. Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Watch. :D
Kelli Girouard 3 years ago
I've discovered my remote in the fridge before, after tearing the house apart looking for it.
Wendy Bolam 3 years ago
Haha, done this myself so many times, or don't realise I've took it in first place. spent hours looking for it, house upside down,(even went through the outside bins) have to use buttons on sky box all night thinking I've totally lost the plot this time. Next morning get in the car and I see something on the passenger seat.....
#30
Accidentally put my phone in the toaster.
Figured it out when I noticed that I was tapping on a piece of bread.
IDK_Something 3 years ago
Yes! OP said it was only a few seconds and that they had to replace the cover 🤣
Load More Replies... Micah 3 years ago
Yea, over-tapped bread is one of the leading causes of injuries sustained in residential kitchens.
Load More Replies... Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
I put my socks in the toaster, 2 slices of bread in the toilet and I pissed in the hamper.
#31
When I was little I had 2 bird pets. One day I was holding one with my right hand and playing with the bird. Some time later I got myself a lollipop and was licking on it. Eventually I had been holding both of them at the same time. Now guess what I licked.
kathryn stretton 3 years ago
At least you didn't put it's whole head in your mouth and suck, instead of just licking it lol.
#32
I filled my car with gas and, when I got home, realized that I had not paid. I went back to the station and told the clerk what I had done. She thought she was missing a payment but the station was really busy at the time so she wasn't exactly sure. I paid for my stolen gas and went about my way. I also walked into the convenience store next to my work, grabbed a Gatorade out of the cooler and walked out the door. I realized what I did when I got back to work. Went back and paid for that, too. TLDR; I steal things.
Robert T 3 years ago
A long time ago, I used to work on the checkouts at the local supermarket. I had a lady come to my till with two trolleys. She loads the first onto the belt and I put it all through whilst she packs. She then unloads the second trolley onto the belt and whilst I'm busy putting it through I didn't immediately notice her disappear with the first trolley out to the car. Just caught sight of the back of her heading for the door and yelled for security. Thought she was trying to do a runner. Turned out she had forgotten that she had two trolley loads and thought she had finished. She came back, rather shame-faced and paid for both lots.
Jknbt 3 years ago
in my state they take your money & call the cops anyway... $180 fine for misdemeanor stealing, you won't forget the pay after that...
keighterz 3 years ago
Yeah don’t go back. Even to do the right thing. In the states they most likely won’t just accept your payment and let you go, unless it’s a little kid. They can still have you arrested and fined. My friend learned this the hard way at the grocery store. It was makeup that cost maybe $15 total and it was a legit mistake. She brought it back. They called the police. They didn’t arrest her but it was a pretty intimidating experience for her and she had to pay several hundred dollars in fines. She said the store manager and the police were total jerks (surprise surprise). Completely changed how she views police.
Load More Replies... WildHoneyPie 3 years ago
I did this at Wallyworld. Got to my car with a cart full of groceries and found a paperback book under a couple of my cloth bags on the seat of the cart. I was tired after working all day and grocery shopping so ended up going back the next day. I figured nobody had noticed when I walked out with it so why bother explaining? Went to the self check out, paid for it and left again. Hey, my husband doesn't call me "Suzy cream cheese" for nothing!
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
What gas station lets you pay before you're sure how much you fill up?
Load More Replies... #33
I wear a fob watch at work. Pinned to my chest. On my days off I don't half get odd looks if someone asks me the time and I automatically start pawing at my boob. When my daughter was very young she loved trains. So I'd take her on short trips and the line passed some fields, where I'd point out the animals to her. Got some weird British alarmed looks that time I pointed out of the window and loudly said "look! Moo cows!" when was on the train by myself.
Jennik 3 years ago
I once grabbed a co-worker's hand to help him across the road when we were out on a company trip. Fortunately we always got on really well! And a few years later, when he had small children, he did exactly the same to me.
Mila Preradović 3 years ago
Well if you don't point out for moo-moos, horsies, sheepies...every time you see them while driving, are you even alive?
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
I have done this on trains, and I don't even have kids. At least I tend to get seats to my self.
Libby Tailor 3 years ago
Many times I found myself rocking the shopping trolley like it was a baby stroller while my baby was NOT with me.
Just saying 3 years ago
I once made a friend wait for the green man before we crossed - neither of us had our children with us. I still say 'green for go' at crossings when I'm by myself. More seriously, at a time in my life when I was more often a pedestrian than a driver, I motored through the crossing when I saw the green man.
#34
Put toothpaste on my razor and almost went to town on my mouth.
Yvette Desmarais 3 years ago
Sometimes in the morning it feels like my teeth are furry but shaving is too much.
Monika Lachova 3 years ago
my SO uses to put his shaving foam tube next to toothpaste, in spite of all awareness, I might end up with the opposite of above
#35
My mother was sitting on the sofa. 7-month-old son was sitting in the highchair, waiting for lunch. I walked in with his bib in my hand and proceeded to tie it around my mother's neck.
Tatjana P 3 years ago
Dont know where to put this but its hilarious. My sister lived in a bedsit as a student, and she had a small table and two chairs on each end of it, not matching. Behind one of the chairs is a Tv. Her boyfriend comes over and mentions something about the chairs and she say ‘Well, yes. That one is really comfortable. But sadly, I can watch TV just from that uncomfortable one.’ He looks at her for a few moments, thinking she is joking. When he realizes she isnt, he gets up, swaps the chairs positions, and she is like ‘!!!???? How did I not realize this?’.
#36
Post Duty ER. Was already home and asleep. Mom woke me up for dinner, saying "Food's gonna get cold", thought I heard "code", so I jumped up and shouted "where?" And ran down to the dining area only to realize I was at home.
#37
My dog eats in my room, which is across the house from the kitchen, and she gets a mix of wet and dry food that I mix up with a fork. So I get her wet food, get halfway to my room, realize I've forgotten the fork. Go back to the kitchen, get a fork, get halfway back to my room and realize I've forgotten the food. Go back to the kitchen, set the fork down, forget entirely what I'm doing, go back to my room to a very sad and confused puppy. Pour her dry food into her bowl, go to the kitchen, leave the bowl on the counter and go turn on the TV. Walk back in fifteen minutes later, see the bowl, fork and food sitting on the counter, feel like a dunce and apologize to the puppy. Repeat 2-3 times a week.
Snorma Ray 3 years ago
I spend most of my day walking back and forth across my house because I've forgotten something too. I also set my phone down in the most random places and can never find it.
#38
Opening a Mozzarella cheese stick for my daughter, threw away the actual cheese stick and gave her the wrapper.
Nicole 3 years ago
I cooked my son a “pizza”. I unwrapped his frozen pizza, then threw it away and cooked the cardboard thing that’s under the pizza. About 15 minutes in he asks what the smell was and if his pizza was ready. I told him to open the oven and check it. Then I hear “what is happening right now” followed by laughter. Poor kid was so hungry. I felt so bad. I then ordered him his favorite pizza from Mama Rosa’s pizza!
Display Name 3 years ago
Aww poor kid... did sort of da same thing to my youngest brother
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BannedFromABoatShow 3 years ago
Did that. I just love how it doesn’t sink in until the kid asks where the cheese is, you get confused because you’re holding the cheese just take it, kid takes it and you finally realize what the heck?
#39
Once while playing an intense board game, I was concentrating so hard that my buddy realized that he could just hand random things to me and I'd take them and put them in my jacket pocket or place them on the table in front of me. I only realized when I ran out of space to put things.
Marah 3 years ago
One of my coworkers will just randomly take stuff I hand to him, he's so funny 🤣
Nezuko_Chan 2 years ago
Whenever someone holds out they’re hand in front of me and it has something in it I’ll just take it Bc it’s always Bc they’re giving it to me (by always I mean most of the time)
Rahim Carlock 3 years ago
Randomly did this to my brothers as a kid. The warm hot dog was the funniest.
#40
Lose my phone in my hand while in the middle of a call.
Joshua 3 years ago
Me too… The sense of panic as I frantically run around the house looking for my phone. 😂
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April Caron 3 years ago
Once, while FaceTiming with my daughter, I realized I’d misplaced my cell phone and began searching for it. After a few minutes, my daughter asked, “What are you looking for?” I responded, “My phone.” She looked a bit confused and asked, “Do you have another cell phone? Other than the one you’re talking to me on?” I stopped searching immediately, looked at her sheepishly, and said, “No.” Then we both started laughing! Another time, I couldn’t find my cell phone and swore it must’ve fallen off the bedside table and slipped beneath the bed. I then proceeded to turn on the flashlight on my cell phone, which was in my hand the whole time, and look under the bed for it. Lol!
Jennik 3 years ago
I once spent ages hunting for my contact lenses because they weren't in their little container. That's because they were in my eyes. I wear glasses now.
Pam 3 years ago (edited)
I remember waking up and putting my glasses on and seeing this very weird vision. Everything was blurry and distorted. I panicked thinking I had a brain tumor or something. About 5 minutes later I realized I had fallen asleep that night and forgot to remove my contact lenses. I was so relieved I didn’t have a tumor!
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Lucy Cope 3 years ago
Once I was walking in the mall, had a shopping bag around my wrist. Occurs to me that I have no idea where my shopping bag is with my very expensive items in it. Thought maybe my buddy took it, asked her and she said no. Glanced at me and said, girl it’s around your wrist. Proceeded to feel like an idiot and we still talk about it to this day.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
Started to panic about forgetting my glasses. They were on my face. Another time, I forgot I was wearing a baseball cap and thought I'd suddenly lost part of my vision, because everything in my upper peripheral vision was black.
Caitlin M. Maguire 3 years ago
My mom had her phone in her hand, then put it on the couch right next to her. 2 minutes later, she asked me where her phone was. I replied, "it's right there on the couch next to you!". She said she was tired. Wow mom.
Black Pearl 3 years ago
The other day I looked for my phone for literally 20 minutes and then when I went to text my mom to call it I realized it had been in my hand the whole time.
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
Looking for you phone while using the flashlight... from your phone!!
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Well... At least you didn't Lost your car keys in the ignition and spent almost 5 minutes franticly looking for them to the point of almost having a panic attack, only to finaly realize that.the car was allready working.....
Philly Bob 1 year ago
Try using the flashlight on your phone to see where you may have left your phone. DUH! LOL!
#41
I used to work in a call center and would answer my personal phone with my call center speech.
Melissa Peck 3 years ago
I've answered my home phone with my work greeting. One of those times I made some man extremely angry after I corrected myself and apologized. I just hung up on his ranting.
Ervin Conn 3 years ago
Alan Chartock is the president and chief executive officer of WAMC/Northeast Public Radio and also a professor at the University at Albany. During fund drives at NPR he repeats the phone number during pauses in speaking. Sometimes he zones out and does that while teaching classes!
Grace Noyes 3 years ago
I had been using a lot of talk-to-text to send people text messages. Then I called my best friend's voice mail and proceeded to leave her a long message that included things like, "blah, blah, blah, comma, blah, blah period. New paragraph, blah, blah..." and so on. Didn't realize what I had done until after I hung up. She got a huge laugh out of that one.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Lol... one time I was working as a office-everhthing person and my "boss" / familyfriend was in the same room when I got a call. I recognized the number as one of our collegues so in my most tempting voice I picked up and answered "Sexclub Eve, Eve speaking, how can I help you today?"... I though I never saw a whiter shade of pale then he had when I looked over my shoulder, he couln't even bring himself to say a word...Looked at him, still very serious, and told him "Oops, sometimes I mix up my day job with my night job.".... Then his wife, who knew my pranks all too well and I started laughing and after we were done and I solved my collegues problem, he told me that I was completely mental, and yes, so I agreed with him on that one ;)
#42
I used to work at the airport while in college, and one day I went to get groceries and drove 30 mins to the airport instead.
kath morgan 3 years ago
My mum drove my dad to work every day for 30 years, and she will still sometimes just drive there if she is not thinking.
kim morris 3 years ago
I used to drop the kids off to school before I drove 40 minutes to work. One morning I forgot to drop the kids off, got half way to work before I realized they were in the car. They were staying VERY QUIET in the back seat. TOO Quiet.
#43
Put my phone in the fridge to "charge"
Jennik 3 years ago
A useful hack someone at work taught me: if you have your lunch in the fridge to take to work, or perishables in the work fridge you need to take home, put your car keys in the fridge with the food item (assuming your commute is by car). This way you can't leave without spotting the food!
Load More Replies... #44
Raising my hand to voice my opinion while in a conversation not at school.
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano 3 years ago
Honestly, it gets peoples attention. I do it all the time at home.
Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
I feel like this is kinda common. At least if you want to say something without being rude
RandomFrog(He/They️️) 3 years ago
I did this all the time as a kid haha. My mom would jsut look at me and I’d keep raising my hand and not speak until I realized lol
LinkTheHylian 3 years ago
I do it because it gets other people to shut up. Then I don't say anything.
#45
Patted one of my coworkers on the butt. I was in the habit of walking up behind my husband and patting him on the butt, so it was just automatic. Fortunately, coworker wasn't offended.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
I'v done that to my coworker ( both male ) he was leanning Over the counter i went behind him and grabbed both his a*s cheecks, everyone thought it was hilarious, excepto him, he wanted to punch me, he didn't and ended up laughing to.....
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Justin Laflamme 3 years ago
I worked in restaurants for years. A pat on the butt when you were behind someone was normal behavior. Years later I'm running a kitchen for a homeless program, in a Church. Fortunately it was a guys butt i patted
Holly Allen 3 years ago
Almost did that to my dad. I stopped my hand an inch away from his butt but I was still mortified
Jessany Trotter 3 years ago
Oh dear… do that to the wrong person and it will an excellent way to lose a job…
RandomFrog(He/They️️) 3 years ago
At school infront of classrooms some kids were assigned to give everyone hand sanitizer cuz covid and they kinda held it out to squirt my hands and I jsut took the bottle. I was tired it was Monday and I was so embarrassed.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Very few men would ever be offended by that lol, i have a coworker that did the same to me, the only isue os the idiots that may take a joke as a flirt.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
I didn't actually turn fully around in the grocery store to ask my husband if he was going to give me some money. I didn't get a response, so I did turn. The random guy behind me says, "Well, I don't know, what are you gonna do for me?" We still laugh about it.
G'ma B 3 years ago
My hubby & I worked at the same co. I saw him crouched down doing something … we were newly weds … I got a big hug urge so I smacked him on the butt, hugged him and gave him a big kiss on the back of the neck! He jumped up! IT WASN'T MY HUSBAND! But he saw it and died laughing! The guy I hugged and kissed … grinned and thanked me! They were similar size, coloring and wearing similar clothes. I looked much closer before ever attacking anyone ever again. HOW humiliating!
#46
In college I had a fair number of all nighters and usually had the tv going to help keep me up and help with concentration. Once a couple weeks after submitting an essay for a political science class I noticed that the message I sent with it to my professor went something like: "attached is my water for Italian cooking". My essay was completely fine and had nothing to do with Italy. I guess my brain just turned off as soon as I'd attached the paper and there must have been some cooking related infomercial on tv while I sent it.
Caitlin M. Maguire 3 years ago
Hopefully your professor found it funny. I've only done 2 all-nighters in college....it doesn't help with pain or coordination. I nearly fell down the stairs the first time I pulled an all-nighter.
#47
I was sitting at my father's wake and my brain was just completely shut off. I was sitting in between my girlfriend (at the time) and my sister. Everyone was extremely devastated by my fathers passing. My girlfriend was pretty torn up and I could hear her crying softly. Not really thinking I put my hand on her thigh and rubbed gently to comfort her. I can see my sister turn to me in my peripheral. She whispered, "What the f**k are you doing? Snap out of it." My girlfriend begins to giggle as she sees me rubbing my sisters thigh. The giggles and the whisper finally make sense and I snap my hand back and laugh my a*s off. We all had a pretty good laugh. Tears of sadness turn into tears of laughter. My sister and I are super close and she knew I meant to rub my girlfriend's thigh for comfort, not hers. Girlfriend knew I was f*****g spaced in that moment.
#48
I was eating and reading some stupid s**t here on reddit. While trying to scoop up food with my fork I quickly used the top right part of my phone as a knife to push rice and beans onto my fork. After a second or two, I realized what I just did and kind of just stared at my phone half covered in beans and questioned my existence .
#49
probably the time i cracked 3 eggs into the sink. one after another.
Black Pearl 3 years ago
Once I cracked an egg into the trash and put the egg shell into the cake mix
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
Yes, but have you ever made a delectable sauce, then strained it right down the drain because you forgot to put a bowl under the sieve?
#50
Typing up a report for work. Coworkers having a conversation near me. I proceed to start transcribing their conversation Another time after work I got into the passenger seat of my car and waited a good 2 minutes to be driven home before realising I was alone
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
You’d be even more shocked if you WERE somehow driven home…
#51
Spent all afternoon making chicken soup with the remains of a whole baked chicken carcass. After hours of simmering, it tasted great out of the pot...so I walked over to the sink and poured the whole thing through a colander like it was pasta to be strained. It didn't hit me for a second. I just stood there stupidly looking at the non-fluid portion of the soup in the pot. I felt like such an idiot.
Francine Govan 3 years ago
I did this once ... my disappointment was immeasurable and my day was ruined. So awful. 😖
#52
My friend and I were walking home from school. I found a good sized stick, and as any bored sixthgrader would do, I picked it up and started dragging it along with me as I walked, just something I did to keep my focus. As my friends and I were approaching an intersecting street, a small blue pickup crossed in front of us. Normally we didn't have to worry about too many cars as we lived in a smaller town, but it just sort of interested me how it crossed perfectly about 15 feet in front of us. I just saw it and wondered subconsciously, 'I wonder if I could hit it from here.' With the brainpower I normally use for sleeping, I held the stick I was dragging over my head, and threw it like a javelin at the truck. If it were a video game, I would of scored a critical hit. The stick struck the truck directly on the side, creating what I imagined as a deafening noise. By the time I realized what the f**k I just did, two of my friends ran and hid in the bushes, and the other was pretending to tie his shoe. A tall figure stormed out of the truck, a highschooler. I don't remember what he said, I was in shock, but I can imagine something along the lines of, "What the hell are you doing!" Out of realization of what just happened, I just sorta stuttered,"I uh, wasn't thinking, I, um, I didn't really sleep well," and a few b******t excuses similar to that. "Alright, just don't let it happen again." I unofficially became that idiot friend everyone has, we never really talked about it after that
#53
Woke up early Monday morning in a bit of a panic. I had forgot to buy cat food yesterday. The cat must be starving. I hurry and get ready for work. I plan a detour to the store to buy the cat food. On the drive there I'm planning my run into the store and I realize I don't know what isle the food is on. How could I not remember what isle the cat food is on? Then it hits me. I don't have a cat. I haven't had one for several years.
Katie Andrews 3 years ago
You from another plane of existence has a cat. When you crossed back, your alternate self, who had been wandering around searching and searching, was so happy to get back to THEIR cat.
#54
Was on the phone with my boss and she was getting really irritated about something, I don't even remember what. The combination of her irritation and my exhaustion made my brain misfire, and I ended the call with "okay bye bye Mom, I love you!". I was so embarrassed but she thought it was hilarious and started calling me her adopted daughter after that. I mean, she is the same age as my mom so it's not too weird, but I certainly felt like a child around her instead of a colleague until she left the company. I miss her ):
Holly Allen 3 years ago
I've been called Mom by many of my students. Last year, a kid called me Alexa. That was a first...
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TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Well i had a boss that used to call One of his workers " my oldest Son " ( they where pretty much the same age ) either that or the boss would also call him Boss ( because yes he was a worker, truck driver to be exact, but he would use the company Cars as his own, and boss the boss around )
#55
I have two: 1) Walking to work on a very straight path through a nature reserve. I fell asleep and sleepwalked for about 10 mins. It was so weird, i blinked and suddenly appeared near the end of my journey. 2) Got into my car with coffee and a newspaper. Carefully held the rolled-up newspaper whilst hurling the coffee onto the passenger seat.
#56
Once I was leaving my apt, and decided to bring the garbage out with me. I had to walk to the pharmacy, which was about three city blocks away. When I got to the pharmacy, I walked up to the counter, and plunked the nasty, dripping bag of garbage right into the counter. I guess I had forgot to throw it into the dumpster on the way out and carried it all the way there. There was an awkward 'wtf' moment between myself and and the pharmacist, and I just kind of turned around and walked out. Couldn't bring myself to go back in, felt too stupid. Especially when I realized that garbage water had been dripping on my leg the whole time.
WildHoneyPie 3 years ago
Okay, I'm done for tonight. Laughing too hard. This one is hilarious.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
This! But then maybe even worse... I used to train a puppy for the guiding eye of the blind, and usually they have to poop and pee before you start to do your practiceworks with them. However, my girl sometimes pooped whileon the way, no problem, I'll pick it up and throw it away in the first trashcan that we see. However, that day, it was wintertime and the bag kept slipping from my hands as my fingers were getting numb (wearing gloves is not a thing while training a pup) so, I put the poop bag in my jacket pocket and on we went. We went to the drugstore, and I figured she had passed gas, went to the cigaretstore, again, had she passed gas? Went to the florist, "Good lord she has the most severe gas today!" I apoplogize to the lady behind the counter. Then my hand got into my jacketpocket to get more treats for my pup and there it was... the stink was overwhelming by that time XD And here I was, blaming my pup for my forgetfulness ;p
#57
I had just woken up and I was still on sleep-auto brain. I wear ear plugs when I sleep but I often tug them out during the night. One was on my chest and I sleepily grabbed it. My traitor of a brain was like "it's a mini marshmallow: eat it" So I popped into my mouth and started to chew. Luckily I realized what I was doing in time, but I also learned it would be very easy to poison me.
It's Izzy 🇺🇦 (They/Them) 3 years ago
Upvote for the harry potter reference
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Theo Blackwood 3 years ago
13 years of wearing earplugs to bed, can honestly say I’ve never done that. Maybe because I don’t like marshmallows.
#58
I have poured my dog a bowl of cereal instead of giving her food multiple times.
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago
Same with my cats. They’re not as impressed with Lucky Charms as I am. (Not enough marshmallows, I get it.)
Nicole 3 years ago
Did you see that lucky charms has a box with only marshmallows now! I buy the regular box and this box so I can add all the delicious marshmallows I want!!
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Ange Marsden 3 years ago
I emptied a new bag of coffee I to the pot instead of the coffee jar - I mean I was that tired...
#59
searching for my glasses 5 minutes. I was wearing them and its pretty hard to not notice that i wear my glasses considering how bad my vision gets without them.
Furmama0501 3 years ago
I often put my hand up to my temple to make sure I have my glasses on my face. My vision is bad too.
Catherine Graffham 3 years ago
You have to take your glasses off for thrill rides at the theme park. After riding a ride, I walked an embarrassing distance from the ride before realising I couldn’t see and having to sheepishly walk all the way back to retrieve them
Kelli Girouard 3 years ago
Ooh, I once went all day thinking my vision had gotten dramatically worse in a short amount of time. I even made an appointment with my optometrist. I was so worried. Didn't realize until that evening that I had somehow put in 2 pairs of contacts. How? Just how?
nooneimportant 3 years ago
i have been wearing glasses since 16 at 37yo i have searched for my glasses while wearing them more then 10 times
Squirrel Girl 3 years ago
i've done that so many times. and the best part? i only got my glasses a couple of weeks ago.
#60
Wake up at 3am, go downstairs, start making breakfast. Bemused SO gently steers me back, as I'm four hours early. Or, another good one is making instant coffee and taking a sip. No, it's filter coffee and now I have a mouthful of coffee grounds to go with my sleep deprivation.
#61
I was at the whiteboard in the front of a classroom, between classes. I was supposed to be updating the date/objective/etc for the next class but I was zoning out really badly and ended up just staring at the blank board. While I was out of it, my brain recognized that there was something in my hand (an open dry-erase marker) and decided this thing in my hand must be a lolipop (?????). I brought the marker to my mouth and licked it. By the time I realized my mistake, I had a gross black streak along my tongue.
#62
I woke up one morning in college, got dressed, left my room and got halfway out of the dorm before I realized I had no pants on.
Caitlin M. Maguire 3 years ago
One of my professors said this happened to a student of theirs when they had to do Skype interviews. The student stood up and forgot he didn't have pants on. The professors says now "and don't forget your pants!"
#63
Not me but my little brother woke up late for school one day and opened the door wearing his camo rain hoodie and his sneakers and nothing else. I'd only seen that s**t happen in movies it he literally just forgot to put on boxers and pants. My mom ended up letting him stay home and took him to the hospital because she thought he hit his head or something.
#64
Instead of ground coffee, I put a couple scoops of sugar in my coffee filter and brewed it.
#65
Locked keys in car then locked car inside house garage. good times
Potty pagan panda 3 years ago
Had visited my sister who lived in another state. I forgot to leave her spare house keys so I went to post them to her and posted my house and car keys as well. Had no idea where ‘I’d lost them’ until she received them
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
I thought I had lost the keys to my bikes lock, looked everywhere but nope, just gone. As I still had some miles to go before I was home, I just rang someones door and asked if they had pliers or something... after telling what happened they kindly sawed the lock in a way so that I could ride my bike again. Finally, so I hang my bags of groceries on my steer left and right and I kid you not, the key to the lock was on my finger with the ring all that time so I wouldn't lose it... Talk about forgetting things XD
#66
When I was in high school, I was sitting petting my dog. She leant over and gave me a quick lick on the face, so I leant in and returned the favor. I paused for a second and thought "WTF did I just do?"
#67
I was in the midst of an 8 hour shift at work. I had to pee for over 2 hours at this point but I was in the middle of working a lunch rush (I worked at a restaurant) so I didn't have time to go. Suddenly things calm down. A-HA! My opportunity! I rejoiced. I run to the bathroom, unbutton my pants, and take a squatting position. In front of a urinal. In a bathroom with roughly six men inside. I am an 18 year old female.
#68
I tried to put the cat into the tool drawer and then almost put the poor thing into the fridge 30 seconds later.
#69
I went to a high school in the early 90s where smoking in the bathrooms between classes was very, very common, even though it was punishable by an $80 fine. You were required to say "it's cool" when entering the bathroom or kids would assume you were a teacher and put their cigarettes out. Not doing so could get your a*s whooped. Like most kids in my school I became so used to it that it was second nature. I got a job in IT immediately after leaving high school, in a nice office building where I had to wear a tie. I'll never forget walking into the bathroom and loudly saying "it's cool," and the president of the company saying "what's cool?" with a confused look on his face. I just stood there like a dope for a second, and then made up something about it being part of a song. I'm sure he thought I was a weirdo after that.
#70
Put my infant daughter in her jammies.. upside down and backwards. I then complained to my wife about how poorly they fit her. She just looked and laughed.
April Caron 3 years ago (edited)
I would legit put a foster baby I cared for into backwards jammies. At about a year and a half old, she decided unzipping her sleepers and ripping off her diaper… and then painting the wall and her crib with the diaper’s contents would be fun. EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING. I did not find cleaning it up to be much fun. So, I started buying her sleepers a few sizes too big, which allowed me to put her feet into the sleeper normally, but then twist it around, and put it on backwards… zipping it up behind her. This way, she couldn’t access the zipper, because it was against her back. Much to my relief, but her chagrin… my little Poo Picasso had to give up her artwork.
#71
I got out of work late, drove home. Must have dozed off because last thing I remembered was being on the freeway a couple of exits from home. Woke up in the garage 10 min later, with the car turned off. I got home safely without causing an accident. Scared me still thinking about it.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
That happened to me once i remember entering my car trying to put the Key in the ignition, my coworker getting throwgh the Window and taking the keys out of the ignition, Next i was in the back seat, ( for the sake of me i dunno how i got there ) my other coworker was driving the car, Next i some up the Next day in my Room ( and i swear to God i don't know how i got there ) needless to say i was p**s drunk ( Christmas company dinner ) but it was the 1st and last time i ever blacked out.
thefaithfulspouse 3 years ago
Happens to me all the time on familiar drive, stop lights and everything.
Isabel Care 3 years ago
2nd day as a motorbike courier (after many months unemployed) got from Guildford to Emsworth asleep on the bike. My mum woke me up after seeing me not move to put my bike away, having been home for 15 minutes
#72
Woke up three hours early for some reason and didn't check the clock but thought I was running late. Rushed through getting ready for work and hit the road. Think it's a bit darker then usual but it could just be grey clouds before the rain. Roads are bit emptier then I'm expecting, must be lucky today. Finally pull up to work and start opening up the shop before anyone else gets in. Look over at the clock and realize I still have two hours to go before I even wake up. Almost went home but decided to stay and just take off three hours earlier than normal.
Nicola Roberts 3 years ago
I love the way our brains auto corrects the information we're receiving. I was on my way to work and heard the radio presenters say something about it's Friday. I was convinced it was Thursday and made up a legitimate reason why they had got it wrong. It was lunch time before my brain accepted the mistake which made it into a much better day!
Tina Girard 3 years ago
I did that once. Looked at the clock, saw that I had five minutes before my alarm went off so I just got up and got ready for work. Same thing - no traffic, great parking, everything was quiet...and it was just a bit after midnight. I guess I kinda inverted the ole big and little hands when I was looking at the clock.
#73
I was woken up at 3:30 in the morning for a random drug test for baseball last semester and after I pissed in the cup, I drank it. Don't know why, but I did it. Luckily there was still enough in the cup to test.
#74
Back when we had a landline I was talking on the cordless phone and when I hung up I stuck it in the fridge without even blinking an eye. It was lost for hours and nobody noticed until we got a phone call and the fridge started ringing.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Yea... I called my mother's on the landline and when She picked it up i asked if She was home.... This was 3 days ago...
#75
I frequently start fondling my leg in search of my keys whilst driving my car. The panic sets in as I slowly work my hands around my body for the keys I've lost, only to remember they're in the ignition.
Nicola Roberts 3 years ago
A while back I stalled the car, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what to do. I was looking around for a key to restart the car when I eventually remembered it starts with a button. I put it down to the last time I stalled a car must have been 20 years ago!
#76
When I was 18, hanging out with my then girlfriend at her place. Fell asleep for a bit, and when I woke up she said, "you're cute when you sleep." My immediate sleep-brain reply was, "not when seven people end up dead."
Foxxy says goodbye. 3 years ago (edited)
Sounds like a darker ending of Snow White and the seven dwarfs.
#77
Was really tired but too hungry to sleep once. Went downstairs to make a pb&j. Once I was done, I put the knife in the fridge and held the peanut butter under the sink faucet for a good minute trying to process why something was wrong. Edit: I put my jelly in the fridge and pb in the pantry. The whole night was a rollercoaster.
#78
Texting my wife while cashing out at the grocery store. She had just done laundry so I wanted to thank her. Rather than typing, I spoke aloud to the cashier saying 'thanks, love you'
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Not the same, but i had a coleague that didn't laugh lol, he would just SAY lol instead of laughing.
Stacy Moseley Adams 3 years ago
Thats great! I used to work for an extremely busy radiology group scheduling appts on the phone, & checking pts in, in person, for their xrays, cts, etc. I would alternate, take 1 phone call, then slide the window to the waiting room open & check in the next pt in line. Got confused once, slid open the window, & gave my phone spiel, " Radiology Associates, this is Stacy"-right to the persons face.
#79
The name of the place I work at begins with an "F" and I was chatting with one of my coworkers who was telling me how she runs 10 miles or so every morning as the phone was ringing. what was going through my head was "f**k that" so when I answered the phone I said "F**k this is Travis how can I help you?"
OwenHasADHD 3 years ago
If anyone said F**k on the phone before introducing themselves i would burst out laughing
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Ashish Nigam 3 years ago
sometimes when i write i accidentally write whats going through my mind and once i wrote "when gases condense they slap my sister for spitting on. me" then i read it and laughed
#80
When I was sick and feeling feverish, I decided to take some Motrin to try and alleviate the symptoms. Usually I grab the pill bottle and shake out two pills, but instead I grabbed my water bottle first and poured water all over my hand.
#81
My wife and I were dyeing some Easter eggs and drinking wine this past Saturday night and I watched her take a big swig out of orange. There was an egg in the cup and everything.
#82
I grabbed my "lunch" on my way out the door for work in the morning.
I kept wondering what that beeping noise was the whole drive there. Couldn't figure it out.
Got to work and grabbed my lunch, only to realize I had actually grabbed the baby monitor.
#83
Was typing up an essay, mind started spacing out, came back around and I had typed a page without any errors. Was strangely proud of myself
Autistic apricot 3 years ago
Can I hire you or could you teach me or what can I do to get this!
#84
Sprayed my hair down with what I thought was hair spray. It was Lysol.
#85
Vigorously picking my nose while holding a cigarette and driving; crammed lit cigarette up my nose
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Well T least you didn't drop you car lighter between your legs on the freeway... Nor the cigarrete butt you where trying to throw off the Window.... Frikking karma despises me...
OwenHasADHD 3 years ago
Everyone picks their nose. Not in public but absolutely in private.
Load More Replies... #86
Been playing a lot of Rimworld, and in it you get the option to set time on normal, sped up, and super sped up. I was waiting for my sister to do something and looked down trying to find the speed up option, in real life. Another thing is I use the Adobe suite (Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign etc) a lot, and sometimes when I make a mistake in real life, I try to CTRL-Z it. Or I'll draw something and go to resize it, only to realize it doesn't work that way...
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Boy do I wish real life had a CTRL-Z option. Or a save and reload system. Also multiple lives.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Yea you're not the only One, a wille a go i found myself on the bus stop looking for my " Hearthstone" i use to play WoW.
#87
Put the dinner on and realised I had no carrots.
Decided to drive to the shop to get carrots - ended up driving to work.
Burnt the s**t out of all the pots and had to buy new ones :(
Tina Girard 3 years ago
I've done that before. I almost reached the toll plaza before I realized what I was doing.
#88
In high school, I was home by myself, rehearsing an imaginary conversation with a boy I had a crush on. I poured imaginary him a real glass of orange juice.
#89
Spoon into the trash and yogurt cup into the sink. Then facepalming when hearing the "wrong sound" - the plastic cup instead of metal spoon.
#90
I was tutoring another student on geometry (arc and area and whatnot) just after I had finished cramming for and taken a Calc test. About three quarters of the way through the poor kids homework I realized that I had not done any of the problems correctly. Rather, to the students endless confusion, I had been integrating the circumference of the circle between the endpoints of the arc. Once I realized my mistake I redid the work with him and reimbursed the session cost. I've never seen someone so grateful to find out that they *were* doing their math right and that I was in whatever post apocalyptic math-based dreamscape.
#91
Cooked my phone in the oven.
Francine Govan 3 years ago
Don't know why you got downvoted for asking a perfectly legitimate question ... have an upvote from me. 😄
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Electra Complex 3 years ago
I ran my phone through a full laundry cycle... (it survived against all odds)
#92
Not too weird because it does make sense, I recently moved to the apartment directly above the one I used to live in. My former roommate leaves the door unlocked. The frequency at which I just storm in and enter my empty old bedroom is staggering.
#93
I bought a block of cheese for myself last weekend while my fiancé was away in Nashville. Put it in the fridge like a normal person. At some point I had to get something out of the "miscellaneous" drawer in the kitchen (you know, the one that holds pencils/rubber bands/menus). I didn't find what I was looking for in there, but I did find an unopened block of cheese. No idea how I managed to put it there, nor do I remember ever taking it out of the fridge. But it had to be me, right?
#94
I put a lighter in my mouth and try to light it up with my cigarettes
#95
shaving my legs , i'm 20 so have been doing this for 7+ years. go to clean hair out of the razor blades between strokes: the usual way to do this is just swirl the razor in water/wipe with a flannel etc. for some reason i just ran my finger along the blades to get the hair out, instantly realised i had been a f*****g idiot and was in massive pain
#96
I kissed a teacher on the cheek, she told someone "I can't hear you" while tapping her fingers on her cheek and I thought she wanted a kiss...
#97
I went to deposit cash at a Bank of America ATM. It was time to deposit the cash($500 in $20 bills) but the deposit slip area was too skinny for all my bills to fit. I kept trying to forcibly cram it in there and when I finally got it through and the cash left my fingertips, I knew I f****d up. Turns out that it wasn't the deposit area and it was just a space in the ATM where it leads to basically nothing. I had to run into the BoA and tell the nearest CSR how stupid I am and to help my a*s. Context: I got no sleep the previous day and the ATM back then wasn't as updated as they are now where the deposit slip like open and lights up like they do now.
Autistic apricot 3 years ago
If you take the second paragraph out of context (I’m sorry, I’m also sleep deprived)
#98
When I was a kid, I was having breakfast, pancakes and apple juice. Somehow, I poured myself a glass of maple syrup and took a slug, expecting apple juice. Spit it across the room.
Adam Zad 3 years ago
Had a 7am class back in college, when I was a teenager. Got some leftover pancakes out of the fridge, heated them up, and sat down with the fixin's. Reached for the syrup and poured some milk on my pancakes. Caught myself before it was too bad, but then refilled the cup from the syrup bottle.
#99
Said "nice to meet you" to a friend.
Rocket ship 3 years ago
I once said "Pleasure to make your acquaintance" to a random lady on the street.
Lucky Panda 3 years ago
Same. I said it to my teenage nephew. I've known him all his life! It's our greeting now.
Jaya 3 years ago
I often say 'nice to meet you' instead of 'nice to see you again' to people that I've met before. The other person of course assumes I don't remember them and start explaining we've met before, it always makes me feel so bad that I'm making them think I don't remember them, especially when it's someone I remember very well because we really connected last time.
#101
I asked a customer to let me know if we were out of something and I would grab it for them and instead of saying "come yell at me" I said "come at me". Also at different job told a customer "goodnight yourself"
#102
Throwing away trash while also talking on phone. Slam iPhone in trash and hold empty coffee container up to ear. Also accidentally say "ponyothepumpkinking, how can I help you?" Into the comcast remote all the time, instead of what I'm trying to watch.
#103
Once brushed my teeth with a sink plug. To this day I don't know how I was so much of a zombie that I did that.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
I'm dyslexic and have a blood condition which causes brain fog and I only function on plenty of sleep, so I stories like these make up most of my life. A while ago, I drove over an hour to work at a schools off site facility, first I went to the school to pick up lunch - my fob wouldn't let me in, but I got buzzed. Went to work, everyone was weirdly happy to see me and I had a lovely morning. Lunch time, boss drives over bringing me a coffee. She had seen me try to buzz in earlier and phoned my actual boss - I had changed jobs 6 months before so I only had a 10 minute drive instead of over an hour. My old school had been short staffed that day, and my new boss had agreed I really should not drive back an hour up the moterway, so she could keep me. Somehow, I still managed to deliver the days lessons. Bit embarrassed people knew me well enough not to think it was weird.
#104
I used to work for Subway, so I was very used to "pizza sub" meaning pepperoni. One day I went to a pizza place on my break and repeatedly told them I wanted a pizza pizza, and got very annoyed that they kept asking what kind of pizza I wanted.
#105
I had recently moved, so driving home from work one day I had gotten all the way to my old street before I snapped out of it. 10 minute drive turned into a 30 minute drive.
What do you think ?
Lucky Panda 3 years ago
Worst brain moment: I once tightly hugged a friend and said "I could hug you to death." We were at a funeral... She was the widow 😳🤦♀️
Dixie Lee 3 years ago
At the funeral of good friend. Widow came to speak with me. I answered generic how are you with "Not dead yet!"
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Monsieur Joey 3 years ago
Fetch eggs from the chicken coop, open the nest box door, be surprised by a hen laying eggs, say "OH SORRY !" and close the door...
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
Making coffee in a drip machine. Pour the water, turn it on - forgot to put the ground coffee so I brewed hot water. Second time, made absolutely sure I added the ground coffee to the filter, forgot the water - almost ruined the machine. Third time, concentrating hard, pour the water, added ground coffee to filter, check everything again, turn the machine on. Forgot the coffee pot and coffee dripped all over counter (non-drip device my bum!)
James016 3 years ago
Many years ago I made a quick dinner popping something in the oven from the freezer. I was very hungry so when the timer beeped, I was happy. I opened the oven and it was empty. I just stood there confused for a few moments wondering where my dinner had gone. I had also boiled the kettle so I could make a tea, when I opened the fridge to get the milk, lo and behold, there was the oven tray with my dinner on it.
elsieairhead 3 years ago
Cereal in the fridge and milk in the cupboard is my best hahaha
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Amanda Powers 3 years ago
When my daughter was first born, I was utterly exhausted. I drove her to a doctor appt, and while I'm driving, I had a panic attack because I didn't know where my keys were. I called my husband in hysterics. He thought I called him to joke. He asked me where I was: "I'm driving to the doctor." Then said, "But you don't know where your keys are?" And I got so upset that he was not helping that I hung up on him. It wasn't until I pulled in to the doctor's office, crying (new keys are so expensive! How am I going to get home?), with a baby in the back seat, that I realized I had my keys the entire time. 🤦🏼♀️
Lynn Dougherty Quin 3 years ago
That sounds exactly lije something I would do!
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Foxxy says goodbye. 3 years ago
These gave me a really good laugh. I've had many moments like these, here are two. 1. I planned on making a slow cooked goulash. After a few hours I went to give it a stir and realised I hadn't even turned the slow cooker on. 2. I had an x-ray appt and needed to bus it there. I got off at the wrong bus stop and started walking to another specialist centre. I realised my mistake and only had 12 minutes until my appt. No time to catch a bus. Called a taxi and literally made on the dot.
Dandelion Girl 3 years ago
One time my brother and I were at a store and we asked one of the employees for something because we couldn't find it. He goes through the usual motions, "We might have that in the back, I'll check for you, may I recommend ____ as an alternative?" Then just out of the blue he goes, "I won't be back" and runs off. Brother and I are both like ??? Then he comes back laughing with the aforementioned product in his hand. Apparently he tried to say "I won't be long" and "I'll be right back" at the same time and his brain mashed them together. Still gives us quite a few laughs lmaooo
Lucky Panda 3 years ago
Worst brain moment: I once tightly hugged a friend and said "I could hug you to death." We were at a funeral... She was the widow 😳🤦♀️
Dixie Lee 3 years ago
At the funeral of good friend. Widow came to speak with me. I answered generic how are you with "Not dead yet!"
Load More Replies... Monsieur Joey 3 years ago
Fetch eggs from the chicken coop, open the nest box door, be surprised by a hen laying eggs, say "OH SORRY !" and close the door...
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
Making coffee in a drip machine. Pour the water, turn it on - forgot to put the ground coffee so I brewed hot water. Second time, made absolutely sure I added the ground coffee to the filter, forgot the water - almost ruined the machine. Third time, concentrating hard, pour the water, added ground coffee to filter, check everything again, turn the machine on. Forgot the coffee pot and coffee dripped all over counter (non-drip device my bum!)
James016 3 years ago
Many years ago I made a quick dinner popping something in the oven from the freezer. I was very hungry so when the timer beeped, I was happy. I opened the oven and it was empty. I just stood there confused for a few moments wondering where my dinner had gone. I had also boiled the kettle so I could make a tea, when I opened the fridge to get the milk, lo and behold, there was the oven tray with my dinner on it.
elsieairhead 3 years ago
Cereal in the fridge and milk in the cupboard is my best hahaha
Load More Replies... Amanda Powers 3 years ago
When my daughter was first born, I was utterly exhausted. I drove her to a doctor appt, and while I'm driving, I had a panic attack because I didn't know where my keys were. I called my husband in hysterics. He thought I called him to joke. He asked me where I was: "I'm driving to the doctor." Then said, "But you don't know where your keys are?" And I got so upset that he was not helping that I hung up on him. It wasn't until I pulled in to the doctor's office, crying (new keys are so expensive! How am I going to get home?), with a baby in the back seat, that I realized I had my keys the entire time. 🤦🏼♀️
Lynn Dougherty Quin 3 years ago
That sounds exactly lije something I would do!
Load More Replies... Foxxy says goodbye. 3 years ago
These gave me a really good laugh. I've had many moments like these, here are two. 1. I planned on making a slow cooked goulash. After a few hours I went to give it a stir and realised I hadn't even turned the slow cooker on. 2. I had an x-ray appt and needed to bus it there. I got off at the wrong bus stop and started walking to another specialist centre. I realised my mistake and only had 12 minutes until my appt. No time to catch a bus. Called a taxi and literally made on the dot.
Dandelion Girl 3 years ago
One time my brother and I were at a store and we asked one of the employees for something because we couldn't find it. He goes through the usual motions, "We might have that in the back, I'll check for you, may I recommend ____ as an alternative?" Then just out of the blue he goes, "I won't be back" and runs off. Brother and I are both like ??? Then he comes back laughing with the aforementioned product in his hand. Apparently he tried to say "I won't be long" and "I'll be right back" at the same time and his brain mashed them together. Still gives us quite a few laughs lmaooo
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