There is something different about how the brain functions while in the shower or lying in bed. Whether it's the warm water that boosts neuron transmission or the unearthly energy one receives from the moon, shower thoughts and late night thoughts occasionally bring to the fore some brilliant ideas and, yet, more often, bizarre, weird realizations.
Strange and often funny realizations come to our heads the more we think of something in particular. Just try thinking of balloons. Basically, by getting someone a bouquet of balloons for their birthday, we are, in essence, gifting them our CO2-saturated breath preserved in a colored piece of latex. While this is just one of the crazy realizations one can make, there are plenty of weird things to realize concerning pretty much any object. Or subject.
While many philosophical, deep realizations may affect your life for the better (or worse), many carry no significant value. Yet they can still make you raise your eyebrows. Below, we've gathered a collection of weird realizations people made found on the vastness of the internet. What are some exciting fruits of imagination and realizations that blow your mind when you think about them? Let us know!
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The probability that your parents actually wanted you is the highest when you are an adopted kid.
My adoptive parents used to always tell me that. They would tell me how special I was because I was chosen.
That legit made me laugh out loud. Not the typical millennial "lol" that comes after everything. I should know, I'm GEN X. Lol.
There are plenty of people who adopt because they're sadistic and just want to hurt kids. And there are plenty of unplanned pregnancies that aren't unwanted.
Ivf-baby just kentering the room saying excuse me? If anyone ever went to more than one of those treatments one would know how desperately a child is wanted.
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission.
Considering I've been playing Breath of the Wild for 4 years and have no interest in going after Gannon.. this is pretty much fact for me lol.
Load More Replies...My dog keeps bringing me the same toy. I wonder if that is his favorite toy, or if he thinks it is my favorite toy.
If everyone on earth died simultaneously, the internet would be comprised entirely of bots posting, liking, and upvoting each other.
You could throw a rock into a lake and be the last person to ever touch that rock until the end of time.
But don't attach any money to that rock. It will accrue no interest. Darn. ;(
My son cried when I told him this while in the act of throwing a rock
Due to it almost only being populated by researchers, Antarctica is technically the continent with the highest average IQ and education.
As recent reports show, a pretty high damn level of sexual harassment, too.....
There's nothing amusing about sexual harassment.
Load More Replies...Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
Some future archaeologist will dig out the Disney World and assume it’s a temple of some bizarre mouse worshipping cult.
What are the assumptions about future discoveries of Santa's Village and any USA shopping mall?
They will certainly test the fossilized mickey cookies for actual mouse
On a clear day you can see about 4 miles into the horizon, but on a clear night you can see light years away.
Emojis are the closest we've come to a universal language.
You can fake a facial expression. Like when you smile at someone but you're angry and really want to slap them.
Load More Replies...False. Math is far older than emojis. "Mathematics meets this definition of a language. Linguists who don't consider math a language cite its use as a written rather than spoken form of communication. Math is a universal language. The symbols and organization to form equations are the same in every country of the world." https://www.mathnasium.com/blog/why-mathematics-is-a-language#:~:text=Mathematics%20meets%20this%20definition%20of,every%20country%20of%20the%20world.
A birth certificate is basically a baby receipt.
There was a moment when your mom or dad put you down as a kid and never picked you up again.
I was lucky enough to have read a magazine article about how we mark "firsts" in life, and wouldn't it be nice if we could know when it was a "last," before my son was born more than 30 years ago. One night, I did exactly this. He was 8 and had fallen asleep on the sofa. I picked him up to carry him to bed and knew immediately that this was the last time I was going to be able to pick him up. I burned that evening and that walk to bed into my brain and I am so glad I did.
The banana is no longer the food item that looks most phone-like. The Pop Tart is.
People get mad at you for forgetting, but it’s impossible to forget on purpose.
Same with thinking. No matter how hard you try, you could never stop thinking about something on will. Acknowledging this fact will change nothing.
I think it’s more like people get mad at you for not remembering, because while you may unintentionally forget… you can intentionally remember (set reminders on your phone, write it down, tie a string around your finger, etc.). If you care enough… you will go out of your way to remember.
Because we don’t have free will. There is also no forgetting, just not remembering.
Give me 2 bottles of whisky and I can forget what will happen next week.
What if my dog always follows me into the bathroom when I have to go potty because I always follow him outside when he does and he just thinks that’s how it works.
that's how it actually works, dogs look at you for protection because they are vulnerable in that moment so they are protecting you. ( i learned this on bored panda)
If you replace "W" in when, what and where with a "T", you answer the questions.
not to brag, but I had that exact realization in like 5th grade.
We all have an endless conversation with ourselves.
There is a version of you re-created in the minds of everyone you've ever met.
...and you're on social media, so there are also people you've NEVER met who have a version of you in their heads! 😉
Load More Replies...So you're telling me that all the time there's a mini me watching Pokémon in everyone's head
Yeah, people you've known a while remember you doing and saying things you don't recall-- external memory drive
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
I totally have a great dad joke next time I call my retired golfing dad and he’s on the course
Load More Replies...Ever notice that most golfers pay money to play as little as possible? Curious. Meanwhile, I shall mention two former cow-orkers. One lived next to a golf course and regularly jumped the fence to shoot holes for free. The other spent his 'work' hours on the company phone, organizing golf tournaments. Gosh, what guys will do, to play with hard little balls... ;(
So I always did have the right attitude about it after all that one summer my dad made me and my siblings take lessons… 😜
I wish people would credit whoever said this, I can never remember.
If I’m lucky, my internal organs will never see the light of day.
Major portions of me are NOT fit for viewing. No clear windows in me, please. ;(
Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton.
It's weird to me that teeth are considered part of the skeleton when they aren't connected to the actual skeleton and are not bone.
Do you not consider the skull and jawbone part of the skeleton?
Load More Replies...really want to say: if your lucky; not even lucky. if you don't ever have to see the rest of your bones.Compound fractures and sepsis are a thing.
During a nuclear explosion, there is a certain distance of the radius where all the frozen supermarket pizzas are cooked to perfection.
You don’t really own your money it’s just your turn with it.
My stashed Monopoly and Confederate banknotes don't accrue interest. Damn.
The Titanic’s sinking was a true miracle to the lobsters in the kitchens.
The lobsters would freeze though. They went from a boiling death to a freezing death.
Babysitters are teenagers who behave like grown-ups so that grown-ups can go out and behave like teenagers.
Your future self is watching you right now through memories.
i like to think as if i'm living in the first dimension ever.
The only difference between being murdered and being assassinated is how important you are in the public eye.
It's not the only difference, you are assassinated BECAUSE of how important you are in the public eye. You are murdered for a host of reasons that the murderer hopes never gets seen in the public eye.
Not actually true. No matter how famous you are, it's assassination if it's political, and murder if it's for another reason.
If you do not pass on your genes, you are the first in your line to fail to do so since the dawn of living organisms.
Don't p**s in your jeans, either. That likely reduces your reproduction chances.
Your alarm tone is your theme song as it starts every episode.
It won't be long before people use 'the '20s, the '30s, and the '40s' to describe the 2020s, the 2030s, and the 2040s.
Bad insult by my son was weren’t you born in the late 1900’s? I am still hurting on that one
My 19 yo loves to remind me I was born in the late 1900’s, makes me sound and feel like a Dickens character every time
Kids already saying "last century" for where I spent half my lifetime
The reason why Mickey Mouse has a pet dog Pluto is to keep cats away.
Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.
Sometimes things are on fire for a few moments before the fire is on it. But I do like this one!
Bottled water companies do not produce water, they produce plastic bottles.
One of the worst things to happen to our environment was the marketing of bottled water.
Well, it was certainly helpful to a lot of people who don't have access to clean water.
Load More Replies...Well, technically the majority of them don't produce their own bottles either, so..
Your salary is your company's monthly subscription fee of you.
Psychiatrists are technically human tech support.
If you water water it grows.
The brain named itself.
If the brain was named itself it would give itself a coolqe name like Brian. Or maybe it wanted to be called Brian but it's a spelling mistake that never got corrected? 😱
When you drink alcohol, the alcohol is getting drunk too.
You are getting drunk, as in intoxicated; the alcohol is being drunk, as in consumed.
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Every 130 years, the Earth is inhabited by a totally new set of humans.
Putting zombies on treadmills would provide a wonderful source of green, sustainable energy.
How to survive a zombie apocalypse: Hole yourself up in a place with everything you’d ever need, during this place with a bunch of outward facing treadmills, and pray the power doesn’t go out.
Cinderella must have had some seriously deformed feet if her shoe wouldn’t fit anybody else in town.
She's not the only one with deformed feet by the end. In the Brothers Grimm version, the stepsisters chop off their toes and heels to try to fit in the shoes, and the prince realizes he's been tricked when he notices that the shoe is full of blood.
That sounds lovely and I would like to read that.
Load More Replies...She had very small feet. Every town has someone who has the smallest feet in that town.
I don't know why she attempted to run in glass though or dance in it for that matter.
The fairytale originated in Russia, and came to Germany (Grimm) via France. The shoes were made of squirrelfur (vair), which was mistranslated as glass (verre).
Load More Replies..."DO NOT TOUCH" would be really unsettling thing to read in Braille.
"Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning" is the human version of "Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?"
It's like that scene on Spider Man: Miles Morales when Rhinos like My spider is broken. I'd like to exchange for new one
Load More Replies...In my long-ago training as a communications technician (and then engineer) I learned a maintenance strategy. An electronic device isn't working? WHACK IT! That knocks-loose accumulated dust and resets some weak connections. Alas, applying this method to humans is frowned upon. Sad. ;(
If you were invisible, you could have a perfectly normal relationship with a blind person.
OK.... I'll be the one to say it..... If you were invisible, you'd also be blind cause light would pass clean through you eyes without registering.....( Sorry to nerd out, but still...)
Since you are nerding out... It would depend on the spectrum of light that you are invisible in. A window isn't invisible even though light does pass through it without registering.
Load More Replies...but your still there, humans just cant detect it, snakes, and uv light detetors could see the heat and humans have stripes so they would see that
https://www.amazon.com/Things-Not-Seen-Andrew-Clements/dp/0142400769/ref=asc_df_0142400769/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312281184847&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4920978930722037240&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9008020&hvtargid=pla-522320329094&psc=1
Dog heaven and squirrel hell are the same place.
If elevators hadn't been invented, all the CEOs and important people would have their offices on the first floor as a sign of status.
Or VIPs would still rule from elevated offices, carried aloft on the backs of human mules (studly indentured servants). On-the-job sexual abuse will abound but be covered-up. The only solution: escalator stairs.
Your belly button is just your old mouth.
The combination of innumerable choices you’ve made in your life have brought you to this exact point, reading this exact sentence.
those choices also let to me typing this exact comment under this exact post stating the exact sentence
And that comment has lead me to reading that exact comment and replying with this exact sentence at this exact time
Load More Replies...and those choices have lead me too read your reply which has brought me to the point of liking it.
im me reading this exact comment and this exact post leading to me over reading and typing and posting this exact comment
If you don’t smoke pot because you’re afraid it’ll make you paranoid, you’re experiencing the side effect without even smoking.
This entire thread was guaranteed generated in a marijuana induced 3am conversation like "...duuude, check this it out..."
It is impossible to dig half of a hole.
You would make your hole 2 times smaller. It's still one full hole
Load More Replies...If someone paid you to dig a hole 2 feet in diameter and 2 feet deep and you dug 1 foot diameter and 1 foot deep, what does this mean Yes indeed it is a hole but perhaps not the whole hole of your contract, but only half the hole...?
In 5 years, we'll be closer to 2070 than we are to 1970.
In the future, imagine how many Go-Pros will be found in snow mountains containing the last moments of peoples lives.
Because it cant be in the past.
Load More Replies...Painkillers are the 'Mute Notifications' option for the body.
If you're still pretty young, chances are you still haven't met the majority of people who will attend your funeral.
Then you've met everyone ... at least by that reasoning.
Load More Replies...Every book you've read is just a different combination of the same 26 letters.
And digits, 'special' characters, upper+lower cases, and whatever else a clever keyboarder can insert into a text.
Load More Replies...If we pop bubble wrap made in China, the air that comes out is from China.
If you’re no longer covered by your parent’s health insurance, your manufacturer’s warranty is over.
We have come to inform you about your life's extended warranty
Load More Replies...When a pregnant woman swims, she is a human submarine.
Guys leave Jocie alone she's already stressed about that exact post earlier
Load More Replies...Think about it for a minute Lizzy, if your pregnant can you still walk? Or is your gravity off too?
Load More Replies...Your head is very slowly 3D printing your hair.
Once you become the world’s oldest person, there’s no way you could lose that title, whatever you do.
Be more specific. "The oldest person in the universe" is pretty comprehensive. "The oldest person on Earth" might not include geriatric aeronauts, free of Earth's surface. Of course, 'person' is assumed to be a living human. "The oldest person on Earth" could otherwise be a fossilized prosimian, hey?
If Jesus were born today, DNA tests would prove who the father was.
For fun, a deity bent on impregnating a human female could magickally transmute their divine DNA-spew to look like it's from anywhere / anything. Should nonhuman chromosome sequences be sought? Suppose the Holy Dad was just a mailman?
How odd that people who don't believe get so irritated that others do. Lol
Load More Replies...Jesus would have been a female. Where did he get the Y chromosome from?
You don't think the being that created everything including the laws of biology could bend those rules and give him a Y chromosome?
Load More Replies...Robert Rankin wrote a book where multiple Jesuses are cloned from the Turin Shroud.
They’ve done some testing on the blood they found at Calvary. Came back to one parent. Google it. It’s cool. Says the bloods still living as well.
A bed is a shelf for your body when you are not using it.
If you are standing back-to-back with someone, you are facing them in the longest way possible (around the Earth).
Back to back, facing each other, they pulled out guns and stabbed one another.
My brother taught me that "story" 40 yrs ago and I can still recite it in whole!
Load More Replies...If you lay on the ground on your stomach, are you facing the right way up on the opposite side of the Earth?
Light is not bent enough by Terra's gravity that you could possibly see around the planet. Backed against someone, you are not facing them, but gazing into space.
You can’t stand backwards on stairs.
Most people are real on their fake accounts and fake on their real account.
You probably know more Latin, a dead language, than you do Mandarin, the most common native tongue.
On the other hand, there is more latin in that sentence than there is mandarin.
If I touch my phone in the right places, someone comes and brings me a pizza.
Lucky sod. My remote mountain hamlet lacks home deliveries. Oh, how I suffer... ;(
Break a pencil and you’ll have two pencils. Break a pen and you’ll have zero pens.
The voice in your head can scream, whisper, and speak normally, but it's always at the same volume.
no i have 2 in my head. one is constantly yelling terrible things, the other is whispering kinda good thoughts.
Tobacco companies kill their best customers.
If you have drug addicts for neighbors, every mosquito could be a dirty needle.
It doesn't work like that. If mosquitoes carried aides, humans would be extinct.
The shady guy living across a suburban street from us kept a DeLorean parked at his place. Luckily, mosquitoes were rare around there. Whew.
Balloons are rubber sacks of breath.
There's an episode of Inside Number Nine where they realise they own a balloon that contains a celebrity's last breath...
I've considered writing a short tale of potential mass-murder. A terrorist loads a balloon with an ounce (28 grams) of powdered plutonium pilfered from a poorly secured nuclear power plant, then inflates the balloon from a hydrogen tank. They release the balloon from the Santa Monica pier where it quickly ascends a couple miles and pops. Onshore breezes poison many of the downwind millions of humans around Los Angeles. Alas, dogs and cats will die, too. Oh, the horror! ;(
If two people on opposite sides of the world each drop a piece of bread, the Earth briefly becomes a sandwich.
Lamps in video games use real electricity.
Maybe superheroes wear capes to hide the zipper on the back of their onesie.
If you were trying to hide your everyday identity, why would you design your supersuit in a way that required someone to help you put it on?
Pregnant women are the only true body builders.
Teaching is just brains telling other brains how to be better brains.
'Learning' implies change -- after learning something, behaviors change. Drop a lead ball from a sufficient height and note how and where it rolls. Drop it again, and notice that the deformation from the first drop now sends the ball off differently. That lead ball has 'learned' to move in a new way, Dropping certain humans on their heads may improve their behaviors, but don't get caught. ;)
The hospital you were born in is the only building you leave without entering.
Consider a home-birth in the same bed where you were conceived and in which you later [hopefully much later] died. The whole circle of life, right there!
And if you die in the same hospital, you enter it without leaving.
A church is the only building where you open the front door and you're in the back......George Carlin.
Pizzas come in square boxes, made as circles and are eaten as triangles.
The pizza life cycle: starts a circle, becomes a square, is cut down to a triangle, and ends up a cylinder
If money doesn't grow on trees, then why are banks called branches? Why do we park in a drive way and drive in a park way? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation? why are there thousands of smurfs but only ONE smurfette?
When does it become a square? The box? But I don't eat the box so the square stage is not included in the cylinder or triangle phase.
There could be a viral video of you doing something random with millions of views, and you have no idea because you haven't seen it.
I've thought of that ... along with how many times have I accidently been in someone's vacation pictures.
I have been in a viral video. I found out about it at a party after I had moved across the country.
But if millions of people have seen it, there's a chance you are one of the millions of people.
All adults were children, but not all children will become adults.
My right elbow is and will remain untouched by my right hand.
I could touch my left elbow with my left hand... after compound-fracturing that arm. Ouch.
There's a scene in one of the Murderbot books where the main character has to entirely disconnect their hand (they're a human/robot hybrid, they can do stuff like that) and make it grip their elbow to escape from hanging chains. It's one of the more grotesque body-horror moments I've ever read.
Load More Replies...Everyone is their own main character.
Then why isn't there a character customisation screen at the start of life
your friends and family are just really important side characters
Knocking on people's doors is basically punching their house until they let you in.
Technically speaking...I definitely don't punch the way I knock on a door! But I get what they are saying (Please don't downvote my response, be nice it's my birthday today lol)
One day you will hear your name for the last time and never know it.
tell me your name, i'll say it to you.
Load More Replies...If everyone blinked in sync nobody would know that other people blinked.
All languages travel at the speed of sound, sign language travels at the speed of light.
Your favorite song might not be the one you've played the most, but the one you've skipped the least.
My fave songs ♬ are those I play ♬ on several different instruments. ♬
Unless you’re a celebrity, Twitter is like talking to yourself in a crowded room.
As an identical triplet, you are simultaneously one of the rarest and most common people on the planet.
You know how you pull the smartphone out of your pocket to check the time? We’re really going back to the era of pocket watches.
Belt is the most disgusting item of clothing. People always touch it right after they’ve used the bathroom, but nobody ever washes it.
If you put one lasagna on top of another one, you still have just one lasagna.
Technically, you aren't stuck in traffic, because you are the traffic.
I wish more motorists would think about that when they are stuck in traffic. They are the traffic.
When having a nightmare, your brain is the author, viewer and cinema of a horror movie whose script is being written as you are viewing it.
What if rocks are actually soft but tense up when we touch them?
They don't seem soft in a rockslide, even if nobody had touched them
Oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
why are oranges called oranges when grapes aren't called purples
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers.
1988: double 8 1989: double 9 1990: double 9 ... 2001: double 0 And so on. The next year with no double digit was 2013. Next with no double digit was 2014, 2015, 2016 up to 2019. First with double digit after 2013 was 2020, and the next year with no double digit will be 2031.
I think they mean that every year between 1987 and 2013 (so 1988 to 2012) all have 2 of the same numbers in them.
Load More Replies...If weights became invisible, a gym would turn into a slow motion disco.
My debit card pays for things with past hours of my life, and my credit card pays with future hours of my life.
When I want to save money, I work out how long I would have to work to pay for an item. It really to know that 8 hours of work would be required for a doodah. Then I can choose whether being the owner of said doodah is more important than having an extra day at my disposal.
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
Unless you overdose and die, in which case you are borrowing happiness from nothing.
Marriage is literally agreeing to hang out with someone until the day you die.
Why don't more people just hang out with someone until the day they die/decide they've had enough rather than spend $20K on a ceremony (and potentially even more on a divorce)?
Being "up" for something and "down" for something are the same thing.
a nasty shot and a clean shot in basketball is the same thing
Pizza is always a pie graph of how much pizza remains.
Depends on the starting shape of the pizza, and how you cut it. :o) When my children were little we'd regularly make rectangular pizzas. These made excellent bar graphs of how much pizza was left.
Life never gave us lemons; we invented the fruit all by ourselves.
Millions of people are in synchronization with your breathing right now.
was i the only person who just started irregularly breathing and panting like a dog out loud?
We eat pizza from the inside out.
Cheese is just a loaf of milk.
The first parents ever to have identical twins must have been really confused.
Why would they be confused? Lots, and lots of animals give birth to multiples, and some of them will be identical.
There are sidewalks in the Cars movies, but they are all cars.
The outer Space is really just an hour away if your car could make it straight up.
People can be the exact same age with different birthdays.
I think it's cool to be born Feb 29th ;) you could just stay the same age until it arrives. Though you know your're aging but technically yeah lol
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The word "Fat" just looks like someone took a bite out of the first letter of the word "Eat".
This one isn't really a truth is it? Not even really a observation. More like a random thought right? Maybe I'm just being critical
We never stop tasting our own tongues.
When you close both eyes you see black, but when you close one you see nothing.
Rephrase: When you close both eyes, you don't "see nothing." You actually see a color. But when you close one eye, you see nothing in the eye that's closed, only what the open eye is perceiving. No Eigengrau in the one closed eye. Just nothing.
Load More Replies...Eigengrau is the official name of the color we see when we close our eyes
Eventually, most of the content on the internet will be from dead people.
How much network content now comes from WebCams, or IoT (Internet of Things) devices, all spewing 'data' without human intervention?
There are very good odds that you've never been naked for 24 hours straight in your life.
I will specify "in one's life" as the period between birth and death, so prenatal and posthumous nudity don't count. In my conscious life, I have hung out (for days and nights) at toasty nude beaches and springs, and with nudist cousins. Does pulling a blanket over myself at night count against me?
Exactly. I sleep naked and when I've been ill I've been naked in bed for more than 24 hours. If the blanket doesn't count.
Load More Replies...When I was married, we'd spent days at home naked. And that's how I ended up with six great grandkids!
Then you’ve never met me. I live kinda like a hermit but I got a phone to keep up with family. When I lived in the southwest…. I would go days bare buck and bean naked just so I didn’t have to do laundry! Lol
If you lose a shoe, you’ve practically lost yourself two shoes.
nah if i lose one sock tho ill just wear somewthing that dosnt match and makes me look like i have no taste
Load More Replies...I saw a bum in my town with 1 shoe. I asked him if he lost a shoe. He said no, I found one.
A marriage isn't truly successful until somebody dies.
As Steve Aylett said, 100% of marriages end in divorce, disappearance or death.
Winter is the only season you experience twice a year.
Equatorial regions of Terra may see multiple 'wet' and 'dry' seasons within a single calendar year but nothing approaching the temperate latitudes' four seasons. Monsoon patterns dominate much of the planet. Don't expect a winter season in Panama or Papua New Guinea.
Searching for a new laptop online is basically forcing your current computer to dig its own grave.
you're making your computer suffer by making it watch you replace the current computer.
and dont subscribe to jiyahs tictok because she is brain washing my friend Riya from hits with riya into being more like her
Why is that actually true? Also plz sub to my friends channel called HitsWithRiya
If you sat on your voodoo doll, you shouldn’t be able get back up again.
The alphabet doesn’t need to be in order.
Nope. You've got four Os in that alphabet.
Load More Replies...MNBVCXZLKJHGFDSAPOIUYTREWQ might be called the MuNuBet instead of the AlphaBet
The skeleton isn't inside you, you're the brain so you're inside the skeleton.
Nope. I am the brain. I am the skeleton. I am the liver, the kidneys, the skin, the teeth, etc. It's all me.
Once the brain can be successfully transplanted immortality will be achieved.
Honey is just bee throw up.
If a morgue worker dies they will have to go back to work one more time.
Unless they are devoured by carnivores, immolated by hot lava, or hauled off by angels or demons. Cue the memorial service.
People are so amazed by the fact that every snowflake is different, but nobody cares that every potato is unique.
during a snow storm in like minnesota or something during the early 2000's, a scientist found two identical snowflakes.
The only part of your reflection you can lick is your tongue.
But you can't lick the version of your nose that's in the mirror, if you try, the reflection will move and your tongue will no longer be on the reflection of your nose.
Load More Replies...Leonardo DiCaprio is wealthier than the man he played in Wolf of Wall Street.
thats pretty obvious, oh wait, HES A TIME TRAVELER, (look it up)
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Caterpillars are amazing, since while in the cocoon, the caterpillar dissolves its body into a gooey substance.
Do they know what they're doing when they build the cocoon? Or do they just build it and be like 'wtf am I doing"
What happens to, you know the VITAL ORGANS. Coz either they die for a few weeks or this is incorrect.
Blind people and deaf people dream differently.
Mosquitoes are like dirty used needles that can fly.
You've known your parents for your entire life but they've only known you for part of theirs.
Alas, it's difficult to get in touch with parents after they've died but before you have. I guess it's a matter of defining "know." I know OF them now, but I've avoided seances.
Every year we pass the anniversary of our death.
'An anniversary is the date on which an event took place or an institution was founded in a previous year'
Thermometers are speedometers for atoms.
With each passing minute, you are one minute closer to your next cheeseburger.
Wild animals live in a continuous state of poverty.
Ya'll plz be nice to animals they deserve much better. Like if ya'll agree
When you say somebody is one in a million, then taking into account the current human population, you’re really saying there are 7 500 people exactly like him.
Brains can't understand themselves.
Right now your body is covered in millions of crawling bacteria.
And imagine…. there are people who never change their sheets and are rolling in all those lovely dust mites that crawled off your body ….only to jump back on your body….
A show's first episode is called "pilot" because it's the first thing that puts them on air.
I don't think that the correct explanation. I'd like to suggest a different one. A pilot (long before flight) was a person who would pilot a ship from the tricky shore-side into open water (eg the sea, a lake, or river). They would know their section of coast incredibly well. They'd know the sight lines, the location of the sandbanks, etc. The pilot would navigate through the dangerous waters, and then hand over to the crew for them to take the ship on the rest of the journey.
Your stomach thinks all potato is mashed.
When you rob a bank, you can stop worrying about rent/food bills for several years – regardless of whether you get caught or not.
You wouldn't know if you've ever had an original thought.
The phrases "to peter out" and "to pan out" mean the exact opposite of each other.
what if you've invented something, that had to be a thought
Gummy worms have more bones in them than actual worms.
I think they are referring to the gelatin that a lot of gummy candy is made with. Gelatin is made with skin, bones, and connective tissue from animals. There are non-animal product gelatins available but the most widely used is animal based.
Water is a portal to a space where you can fly but you can’t breathe.
Death makes everything meaningless while it also gives meaning to everything.
All pets have Stockholm Syndrome.
There are many instances of animals adopting humans. They effectively say, "Yup, you are mine. This is where I choose to live".
Blinking is like clapping for your eyes.
My step-bro can make his eyeballs vibrate. Is that like a razzberry?
At every point in history, back to the dawn of humanity, an ancestor of yours was alive.
Didn't pre-humans have ancestors, too? All the way back to the spark of biogenesis, right?
By the time your brain processes that you’re living in the present it would already be the past.
Spoons are just little bowls on sticks.
Cars in movies don't have bird poop on them.
Turtles can never have sleepovers because they always sleep in their own homes.
We all have puke in our stomachs.
No we don't. It only becomes puke when regurgitated. The only time puke is in our stomach is if we eat it. (Or honey)
Are there coffee breaks in a tea factory?
if its in england, it might be a tea break (srry if this joke is harmful)
Words are just a compilation of noises.
I can read silently, not even moving my lips. Silently playing trombone is harder.
Zero is just a portal between positive and negative numbers.
I long-ago wrote music software for the SoundBlasterPro chip, addressing its 32 control points as a 32-dimension array. Zero was the gateway between a complex mash of numbers -- I envisage it as a spiny microbe.
Bacon is cooked and cookies are baked.
Condoms are made for humans to prevent humans.
Eye drops are technical blinker fluid.
We are actually aliens to somebody.
There are thousand ways to die but only one way to be born.
Not really. There's a few different ways to be born. Vaginal birth, water birth, cesarian section, episiotomy, forceps, epidural, home birth, then you have the same with, surrogacy, IVF, egg donation, and technically we do have cloning too so....
Some of those would be considered conception, not birth.
Load More Replies...Horses are the most farted on animals.
If Apple had kept its 1976 logo, it wouldn't have to change its logo during pride month.
It still doesn't have to. It's just fake marketing to the gays. If you're actually gay it doesn't work.
Apple changes its logo on pride month only to be like "hey look at us we are inclusive we accept everyone!! Pride flags everywhere!!" Meanwhile on July 1st: "what is pride?" It's like they use us for business :/
Load More Replies...Money is worthless.
The chum bucket (in Spongebob Squarepants) is for cannibals.
When you’re alone in a room, you’re the only person in the world who can see what you can.
The room could contain everyone in the world, and I'd still be the only person in the room who sees what I'm seeing. Everyone else is seeing what I'm seeing plus also seeing me, which I'm not.
If time and space are all relative…then every person in the past and future are in the room with you also.
If you’re rich enough an entire museum is a gift shop.
Anything in America is within walking distance – it only depends on how much time you have.
Wouldn't that be true in other countries? That statement seems a little narcissistic.
Sorry. Mistyped. Can't delete this comment on my phone.
Load More Replies...The worst part about food poisoning is that you paid for it.
A knee is a really big knuckle.
Never passed an A&P course, hey? Nor endured hand and knee surgeries? Hmm...
No it isnt! It is comprised of two knuckle-like projections, but it is not a knuckle!
Maybe Batman fights crime only at nights because if he did it during the day, he’d get funny tan lines in the face?
Earthquake on another planet is still an earthquake.
Necks are basically wrists for our heads.
All the money in the world is still paper.
We have plastic money in Australia, it's like living in a monopoly game over here.
Load More Replies...Not true in Canada money is made of a plasticky substance it’s waterproof and virtually counterfeit proof
While still manufactured in a paper-like fashion, Euro bills for example are actually made of cotton.
Alas, most of the planet's MONEY is an electronic fantasy -- just wonky computers tracking debts and assets. As for the world's CURRENCIES, I don't know if stashed and circulating paper notes outweigh metal and plastic coins. Research is needed. Can I get a grant?
Eggs are miscarriages.
Don't eggs need to be fertilized and gestation to have occured before being miscarried?
Cats are popular online because “dog people” are actually doing something.
This one is just rude. And there isn't a truth in this statement. There's an opinion. A rude one. Edit... Just to be clear, yes this is my opinion. I don't see why someone put this up.
