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If you happen to find yourself on the relatable side of TikTok, there's a common saying in the comments: "I've never had an original experience." Whether it's a bodily function, a strange habit, or an unusual experience, that comment section is where many people find out they're not that special after all.
Recently, one netizen started a similar discussion on Reddit, but focused on women. "What's something you thought 'only happened to you'… until you talked to other women?", they wrote.
Turns out, we gals are really in it together: there are tons of things many of us experience but are either too shy or too uncomfortable to talk about! So, here are some of the most interesting and relatable answers from that thread.
Check them out and let us know your "unique" female experience in the comments! Who knows, maybe it's not so unique after all!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
It's more something I do and was surprised to learn my girlfriends do, as well: when walking in the city, headphones are in, but the sound is off. We also watch shadows to figure out how quickly someone walking behind us is going. No one told us to do any of this. We all just kind of figured it out independently.
Justbecause 6 months ago
My grandma taught me you can also use shop windows to see who is behind you and what they look like as shop windows are like mirrors and its not unusual behaviour to glance at them as you walk past. Helps you keeps tabs on who is following.
Peeka_Mimi 6 months ago
I live in one of the worst parts of Aurora, Colorado. I keep my earbuds at a reasonable level and stay aware of my surroundings. Also I avoid walking around after dark.
Angela Jester 5 months ago
Experience taught you. You watch shadows and windows because once you were surprised badly. You keep the sound off so you'll either be left alone or you can hear what someone might not want you to because you did once by chanc and now you can be prepared to act. You talk to an inactive phone so it seems like you're not alone
AsylumWalker 6 months ago
If you take them off, men try and interact, which can be dangerous too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Michael Largey 6 months ago
If the sound is off, why wear the headphones at all? With them off, you let potential predators know that you are fully aware of sounds around you and that they should look for easier prey.
Gracie Jay 6 months ago
If they are off, they will talk, catcall and just be all around creepy.
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#2
Difficulty with word finding now that I’m in perimenopause.
AtMostAFabulist 6 months ago
Oh lord, I thought i was losing it. I do that all the time. I can never remember the word mowing when I need to say it. So I say I have to vacuum my lawn. 🙄
Sven Horlemann 6 months ago (edited)
I feel this. As a man at 58, I literally said the same in German, because the word "mähen" did not enter my brain, so I went with "saugen"! 🙃
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Kim Kermes 6 months ago
I know many words and they get tangled up on the way out. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Also, I'm not forgetful, I'm thinking about something more interesting. So there.
Rahb in Oz 6 months ago
Self-defence; you don’t want to remember those kids!
Load More Replies... Little Bit 6 months ago
I'm forever saying thingybob, or thingumyjig, or whatsit because I can't think of the right word. I know exactly what I want to say in my head but it comes out as gibberish. I used to be excellent at spelling but now I often write the correct letters in the wrong order. I forget how to do stuff that I've done a million times before. I forget what I'm doing when I'm halfway through doing it. Perimenopause. The gift that keeps on giving.
Upstaged75 6 months ago
Last night I washed my hair with face wash. Couldn't figure out why it wasn't lathering. 😄 I do stuff like that all the time now that I've reached a menopausal age.
Joe Reaves 6 months ago
I'm pretty sure I'm in perimenopause, but I have other chronic conditions that mean my body temperature randomly fluctuates and I have brain fog so who the heck knows? But not being able to find the right word is frustrating. At least when I'm just talking to someone I can describe what I mean. I write as a hobby and not being able to find the word you know exists is so incredibly annoying. The number of messages my friends get describing the word i want and asking them to figure it out!!
Jenna Kay 6 months ago
I've gone to using ChatGPT for that! I'll tell it the word that I'm looking for means all of these descriptors and ask what it is I'm trying to say 😆
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Crystalwitch60 6 months ago
I’ve gone thru this I’m ten yrs in and full menopause n out other side no hrt , n it’s never affected me BAR THIS !! omg it’s deadly isn’t it , trying to say something n having to say you know the thing bob or the ojama flip lol n the likes n ligit forget it entirely the brain fog isa tuakly amising to me im housebound n only chat to my kids lol ,n they find it hilarious when i have to stop to try n find the bloody word im looking for glad its not just me op , enjoy the ride , the hot flushes are our own internal heating systems saves a mint on heating in winter 😂not quiypte so good in the heatwave we in uk having lately lol ,
#3
Period diarrhea
Seriously, I received a pretty good education on reproductive health and puberty, but no one told me about period diarrhea and I thought I was the only one who would s**t so much when menstruating until I was like 21 and got a gf.
Family's_disappointment 6 months ago (edited)
I have this. This is worse than diarrhea itself...
minnieslave0 6 months ago
There are a vast array of "extras" for periods. It's like your body picks 3 at random: "I'll take soreboobies, hormonal rage and diarrhoea."
Crystalwitch60 6 months ago (edited)
Nope. It not just you I used to get this every dam time , and it hurt to , thank god for ten yrs free of it all lol the menopause is actually our friend 👍
Auntriarch 6 months ago
I used to get the opposite, during my period my gut would take a few days holiday. That wasn't much fun either.
#4
I thought it was just me, but my girlfriends all agreed we used to get cat called more when we were 13-17 than we do now in our 20s.
LilliVB 6 months ago
Cat calling is a power play. It works a lot better on young girls than adult women.
Michael Largey 6 months ago
Guys, don't say anything to a woman on the street that you wouldn't want a man to say to you in prison.
Robin Roper 6 months ago
Gross, disgusting, childish, and for young women, terrifying. Any man who witnesses this and doesn't call out the person cat calling is a POS! Imagine it happening to your sister, daughter, granddaughter, niece, friend's daughter, etc, then ask yourself how okay this is.
OnlySometimes 6 months ago (edited)
Honest question: is that an age of girl thing or that times have changed?
I Need More Espresso 6 months ago
I think it's a power play and what cat callers think they can get away with. A 12 year old is less likely to push back than a 22 year old.
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Mario Clouâtre 6 months ago (edited)
Maybe it's because you're more around immature boys at 14 than you are at 20?
#5
Feeling like I had to shrink myself to make others comfortable, at work, in relationships, even around friends. I used to think it was just a “me” problem, like I was too much or too intense. But once I started talking to other women, I realized so many of us were taught to dim our light to keep the peace. Never again.
Joe Reaves 6 months ago
You're being dramatic/hysterical/emotional. Is it that time of the month? You're a b***h/crazy/a drama queen. Be more ladylike. All things that women and girls get told when they try to stand up for themselves and set reasonable boundaries.
Gigi 6 months ago
Also, men will never admit to this, but I can NEVER finish a sentence without being interrupted. If I try to get in and at least finish my thought, I get "corrected" . It doesn't even matter the subject matter. I'm 58 and they treat me like I'm 20 or like I couldn't possibly know things like how to fix something, or about taxes. FFS. Don't assume.
#6
Being unable to make friends with other women.
K Barnes 6 months ago
The women I know who complain of this make choices leading to this problem- gossip, insults, pick me attitude, huge conceit mixes with incredible insecurity. I've never had this problem but I don't gossip, insult others, or put myself above them.
Load More Replies... Michelle C 6 months ago
It’s gotten harder as I’ve gotten older both make friends and maintain friendships in general. It doesn’t help that almost all the women I know are super-busy all the time. I’m often the same boat and feel the guilt of not being able to keep in touch as much as I would like to do that.
K Barnes 6 months ago
I think it's healthy to recognize that older adult friendships often don't look like younger adult friendships. I have great friends that I only see once a year and chat with every few months, but when something important happens we are there as much as needed. I try not to have guild for being bad about keeping in touch, we all do our best.
Load More Replies... Breadcrumb. 6 months ago
Woman with babies and those with out have difficulties maintaining friendships. Non of the activities I like involve bringing your babies along. Hiking, paddle boarding. And for some reason no mother I know trust their baby daddy enough to leave the baby with him. I usaly don't see these women until the kids are a bit older but than I have to watch what I say and the conversation doesn't feel authentic. Just us living totally different kind of lives.
Gigi 6 months ago
So true. I don't have kids and found all of my friends with kids kind of drifting away as they got so busy. I really tried to stay welcoming and involved with the babies and kids, inviting them along, but it's just a different lifestyle. Women just don't relate to non parents, and conversation gets hard
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The Majestic Opossum 6 months ago
I think making friends in general is more difficult as we get older, but honestly I've found it easier to find the "right" people now that I'm more comfortable with who I am. And they're all women. I think as we age it's easier because we're more confident and don't feel like we're "competing" against one another (like society wants).
Monster Munch 6 months ago
I have to be honest, it sounds a little “not like other girls.” 😅 I get it if you’ve had bad experiences, but female friendships can be the absolute best. Maybe it’s not women that are the problem, you know? I get it ,some people are just not worth to be anyone’s friend but focusing on one gender might mean that the issue is elsewhere
#7
I never realised how common emotional abuse was.
Little Bit 6 months ago
I honestly thought it was normal growing up with a narcissist mother and then having a narcissistic husband.
Michelle C 6 months ago
I grew up with a stable mother and narcissistic father. Healing took a work of God over many years. Those who are battling are not alone and the faults of the parents have nothing to do with the children.
Joy 6 months ago
100 percent. It took me years before I realised it was OK to think for myself. There are people with severe mental illnesses who don't know they're unwell, but they feel bad all the time. These people can become parents and if you have one then you can end up bearing the brunt of their illness. For every case of severe abuse that winds up in the press, there are hundreds more that go undocumented. There are kids today still trying to undo the damage inflicted on them. These kids are grown people but inside struggle to free themselves from their childhood. It can be done however and the prize waiting is usually to know that we are our people, and not our parents. Anyone doing the work, keep doing it 💞 You WILL make it.
Load More Replies... #8
A sore vulva during my period. Not cramps, but my labia feels... extremely tired? like I was using them to lift weights the day before? The first time a friend told me it also happened to her I was so grateful knowing that I wasn't crazy!
WayoftheStarPrincess 6 months ago
Does anyone else ever get vulva cramps the week /after/ your period? It annoys me to no end and hurts like hell.
Beak Hookage 6 months ago
I'm lucky; I don't experience pain of any kind when I'm riding the cotton pony. I used to get cramps but not any more.
Tess Chappuis 6 months ago
My sister got varicose veins in her labia when she was pregnant. That was lovely, let me tell you. So painful!
Load More Replies... #9
Postpartum OCD. It's super common to have intrusive thoughts of your baby dying for the first year or two after birth. NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT.
Katie White 6 months ago
After my preemie was born, and in NICU for five weeks I would have nightmares about babies dying almost every single night. The most memorable one was when I was doing laundry and found one dead baby in the washer and another in the dryer. It felt so real
Melanie Filmer 6 months ago
The silence of your baby when sleeping is more terrifying than them crying.
Liz Strevens 6 months ago
My daughters are 36 and 41 and I still worry about them! And my grandchildren now, too!
Mel in Georgia 6 months ago
I'm always rolling my eyes at young moms who freak out about everything. Now that I know this is a real thing, I'll cut them some slack.
Tamra 6 months ago
I'm not sure why you'd roll your eyes at new moms anyway. Being a new mom, by definition, means they've never done it before. It can be really frightening, in addition to the massive bodily changes happening to them.
Load More Replies... #10
Having a miscarriage. I thought they were super rare, and then when I had one and told other women, I was shocked at how many of them told me they’d had one too. I don’t know why women aren’t more open about it and don’t talk about it more. Somehow, learning how common it was made my second miscarriage easier.
Kim Kermes 6 months ago
I understand that 1 in 4 pregnancies are lost, many so early it's not recognized as miscarriage. We need a better word that doesn't seem to lay blame.
Ace 6 months ago
Never occurred to me that the current word lays blame, but yes, I suppose there's an implication that if the baby is mis-carried then it could have been carried better, sort of thing. Does it ever actually get treated like it's the woman's fault?
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Devon Archer 6 months ago
My wife and I recently lost our baby, She was pretty far along and it's so unimaginably devastating and people are just like, we don't talk about it. Honestly, I'm shaking as I am sharing this because it just hurt us both so much. But especially my wife. We wanted that baby girl and we will always feel a little light went out in our lives.
Rosie Hamilton 6 months ago
I'm so very, very sorry that happened to you and your wife. Have a virtual hug from an internet stranger who was moved to tears by your words 🤗
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 6 months ago (edited)
I had my first child at 35 second at 39 , then I. had two really bad miscarriages. one at 43 it was a girl , n 45 to early to know , I’ve never hidden it ,I’ve noticed it’s never talked about , I’ve no idea why not ,cos even 17 yrs on from the first I,ll never be over it , I have her name tattooed on my right inside arm under a praying angel for the, both , we need to talk about it , it’s unfortunately to common , n centuries on docs still have no idea why, mostly , blessed be to all that’s gone thru this , your not alone x
Original Kinkster 6 months ago
Well... When our son was stillborn, we learned that a lot of other women in our families and between our friends experienced the same or something similar and I knew already that the second pregnancy of my mother ended with a miscarriage. There's one simple reason why rarely anybody talks about it before it happened to you: You don't want other people to fear that their unborn child will die and this fear would grow if you knew how often this happens.
Mari 6 months ago
This. You don't want to upset someone or make them feel bad.
Load More Replies... Peeka_Mimi 6 months ago
It's quite common. I would have a 2mo grandchild today but unfortunately my daughter had a miscarriage. It was heartbreaking but I have 3 healthy, happy grandkids so I'll take it.
Devon Archer 6 months ago
I'm really sorry. My wife made a little memorial for her and that helped us. It never goes away but you can go on.
Load More Replies... Nicole Weymann 6 months ago (edited)
Talking about it CAN help - but it can also make it worse. For some people talking may focus them even more on whatever tragic event they went through, and make it take more room than it already has. A cáncer patient I know got referred to a self-help group. She left after three or four meetings, because she refused to let her life circle all around that one topic. Sometimes (or for some people) avoiding the problem, "sitting it out" or getting whatever distraction you can helps more.
Teutonic Disaster 6 months ago (edited)
When my ex miscarried 2 months in, and despite the doc telling us that nearly half of all pregnancies fail in the first trimester (which, as a dude, shocked me) pretty much "just like that" (for lack of a better term) and that there's no point in laying blame in any direction (f.e. she didn't drink alcohol or got in an accident etc), she got it in her head that it must be my "bad genetics" which are to blame. I chalked that comment of to shock/trauma at the time only to later recognise it as one red flag of many. Did I mention that she's an egocentric narcissist and our relationship was already on a downward trend? Don't get me wrong, I don't wish that experience on any woman and would've loved to have a kid (at the time, not anymore nowadays), but part of me is happy that kid wasn't born into that messy relationship.
Devon Archer 6 months ago
Having children with a highly dysfunctional person would make the situation much worse. Yet, having a child with someone that you really like and get along with can be wonderful! Yet I understand, It's a hard time to have them, especially since the world is essentially heading in to WWIII etc. I have never regretted having our four. Yet I think living in the U.S. makes it nearly impossible to survive on your own, bringing a kid into the mix can make that even harder if you don't have a strong support group or family to help when needed.
Load More Replies... Lene 6 months ago
I had 3 very early miscarriages before I got pregnant with my first kid. The first two were so early they just appeared as heavy periods so even my bf doesn't recognise those as miscarriages. The last one was insane. Like really stupid amounds of blood. I bled through 4 layers of clothes and a lady pad. And I was in some sort of shock afterwards. We had friends over when it happened and my close friend could see on my face that I was not ok. That one my bf recognise as a miscarriage. Probably only because he had to run to the bedroom and find clean clothes for me. But with the first two I had started to get messages from my body that something new was going on. (I was super-duper in tune with my body back then).
#11
Really heavy and sudden bleeding during periods. Not to be gross but just suddenly like a tap turning on. I'd have to a tampon and wear multiple pads because it would come on suddenly and I could soak through a single pad or tampon in a minute or two. It didn't alwasy happen- but often happened - usually on day 2 or 3 of a period.
I met another woman who had this when she was visiting my home. I found out only because she had an episode and she had to ask me for paper towels to clean up the bathroom. It's really not something we talk about much- like periods com up with close friends form time to time - but it's hardly water cooler talk. I wonder how common this is.
The Other Guest 6 months ago
It can happen earlier than that. The one and only time I was first in line for the school bus in, oh, must have been 9th grade? just as the bus pulled into the parking lot there was that distinctive *gusshhhh* and I had to run to the bathroom. By the time I cleaned up as best I could, the bus was gone. Walked the 2-1/2 miles home with my sweater tied around my waist to hide the bloodstains in the back, and my bookbag held low to hide the ones in the front. It was like the elevator scene in The Shining
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JB 6 months ago (edited)
Ladies, please be aware: extreme heavy bleeding and pain are more often indicative of a medical problem than, “this is just what my periods are like.” PCOS, endometriosis, hormonal imbalance, ovarian and other cysts, cancer… Read about the conditions, see how your symptoms correlate to them. Then go to the drs and demand investigation. They don’t like non-medical people diagnosing themselves so focus on the symptoms; stay calm and firm. If faced with comments like, “all periods hurt” (yes, that’s what I got from a female GP), push back firmly with options, “I can go get a second opinion, but once a medical issue is diagnosed, I will make formal complaints about you for failing to do your job. Or you can refer me for investigation; your choice.” If faced with accusations of being, “An hysterical woman.” Gently respond with the observation, “That seems like a dramatic overreaction to a reasonable request. Do you need a moment to calm your nerves?” The average time to diagnose endo is 8 yrs, I got mine in 2 because I refused to back down.
Anony Mouse 6 months ago
This could also be uterine fibroids, which affect approximately 75% of women. Another common thing nobody ever talks about. Most of the time they are just inconvenient and annoying, but in some cases can require surgery.
Load More Replies... Little Bit 6 months ago
Yep this is me. I have spotting for a few days and then it's like somebody has turned on a tap and it is always worse in the morning. Sometimes I need to change my pad several times before i even leave the house for work. And then after a couple of days, nothing. It really makes me feel exhausted too.
JB 6 months ago
This is not normal. Please go see a doctor and check out my comment below.
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Sarah 6 months ago
It’s not talked about because despite the pain, the diarrhoea, b**b pain and exhaustion… we are all expected to just carry on and commute to work and do work. And let’s not talk abt the clots . I’d vomit the pain was so bad… had to be out in prescription pain killers. But that still didn’t help the overall body exhaustion and back pain and b**b pain. Then can’t sleep.. need to get up and change, this every single month, and that’s before you get a cold or some other illness
Jenna Kay 6 months ago
The best thing about menopause is not have a period. Your memory goes to sh*t, you're hot for no reason and then cold for no reason, get angry and sad and happy and are moody, but at least one thing gets better!
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Melanie Filmer 6 months ago
I've always refused to leave my house on day 2 of my period, it's so heavy, I even ruined one of our real leather sofas 😭
Peeka_Mimi 6 months ago
I had that because of endometriosis and bleeding cysts. Got a hysterectomy at age 36 and that was the best decision I have ever made for myself. If you've had the kids you want to have or don't want any, I recommend it if you're having periods that heavy.
Child of the Stars 6 months ago
I'm glad to see the perimenopause comments. I've suspected for a few months now that I'm in the early stages of it, and these comments basically confirm it!
#12
Menopausal RAGE. No mention of that. Coulda used the warning tbh.
Pamina 6 months ago (edited)
Yes, that happened to me and I just didn't know it's caused by menopause. I thought I was getting crazy. Everyone talks about the hot flashes but I didn't have any, got crazy rage instead and nobody, even my doctor, told me about it
AtMostAFabulist 6 months ago
I got really extreme mood swings. Zoloft straightened that out. Thank God. Everyone thinks it's funny, but I could never see the humor in cussing out the McDonald's cashier because I dropped a dime and thought she took it.
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Wendy Miller 6 months ago
Other than hot flashes, no one mentions other side affects of menopause. I went through this. I think it's our superpower kicking in. We're getting to the age of not giving a sh*t what other people think, saying things younger women wouldn't, and not putting up with c**p. However, I do think we need to discuss other things that happen during menopause from physical to mental and spiritual.
Helen Rohrlach 6 months ago
Yes, absolutely horrible. Thankfully hormone replacement works for me but nobody said anything about it.
Courtney Christelle 6 months ago
Growing up, I just thought my aunt was b*tchy. Turns out she was just going thru menopause, she’s actually very loving.
Evelien Stijger Martens 6 months ago
I am angry all the time, for everything I did to myself and let others do to me.
Tess Chappuis 6 months ago
What? How could anyone NOT know about this? That's part of where the hysterical myth regarding women comes from. 🤷
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
Also certain contraceptives. I had an implant in my arm. Took a while to figure out where this sudden rage was from. Once I did, my bosses were very keen for me to take the next day off and get it removed. Two days later we were all much happier.
FluffButt Central 6 months ago
Yep. I told my gyn that I would just look at someone and feel rage. Or year them. She replied that it was one of the first signs of perimenopause and put me on the pill for estrogen. I felt much better.
#13
Having a difficult relationship with my mom. I see her and feel so annoyed around her presence.
Little Bit 6 months ago
And me. No matter what I do I will never be good enough for her. I am incredibly close to my daughters and I would never dream of treating them the way she has treated me.
Tamra 6 months ago
Sometimes even $hitty parents can teach us how to be good parents to our own children. By showing us what not to do.
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Sven Horlemann 6 months ago
Currently one of my major problems, as my mother (83) likes to reconnect with me (58m). "Sure. But you did forget you wanted to kick me out at 18 - what my stepfather prevented -, and had nearly no contact for 40 years, did you?" 🙄
Tamra 6 months ago
Sometimes when they get old, they get scared and regretful. That still doesn't mean you owe them anything.
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B 6 months ago
So were my mother and I. And when we were away from each other, even for a day, we couldn't go to sleep without talking on the phone. I miss her so much
Load More Replies... K Barnes 6 months ago
My mom had a lot of temper and emotional issues when I was young, lots of verbal and emotional abuse when she lost control- and she was hyper controlling so this was often. She did some work and is more stable now than she's ever been, I am extremely grateful to be able to have a relationship with her now. I didn't think I'd be able to.
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Me, too. But me and my daughter are very close and comfortable hanging out, talking and all that. With my mom, I feel like it's a strained relationship and that she resents that I was born.
JB 6 months ago
Sending hugs 🫂. Mine flat out told me and my siblings we had ruined her life, mostly me because I was first. Grew up feeling guilty. By my late teens, I could sympathize with her to an extent; teen pregnancy while she was still at school, and they did use protection, so they were trying to be safe. Huge amount of parental disgust for being an unmarried mother and pressure applied forcing my parents to marry. No doubt, it was hard on her, forced her to give up on most of her dreams. But abūsing us out of resentment inevitably led to all 4 of us going NC. That miserable, bitter, woman is going to die alone instead of at the heart of a fairly large family.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
This - explaining to someone that I was unmoved by her death is hard.
JensenDK 6 months ago
My 20 year old daughter shifts between hating me and depend on me - and I never know what day it is when we meet. She has had a rough youth with a depression, and I get that she needs to set boundries and fond her own way, but d**n, it hurts. My only comfort is knowing that I went through the same with my mother, and ended up having a great and loving relationship with her. So I hope my daughter and I end like that too.
Lene 6 months ago
This! Oh my gay gods! I often even realise that if this was any other person on Earth doing/saying this I'd be OK with it. But now it's my mum and I am just about to get into a huge rage because of her words/acts. I try really hard to stick with the "it's only because it's your mum. Take a deep breathe and let it go"-mentality, but it's so difficult. 😬
#14
I'm still convinced I'm not normal for my lack of s*x desire.
Ellinor 6 months ago
You're normal, you're probably under the Asexual umbrella and that's totally valid ! There is a lot of people like you, you're far from being alone !
StrangeOne 6 months ago
Asexual is different than just lacking s*x desire, especially when one thinks of it as an abnormality and possible problem.
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Little Bit 6 months ago
I don't know whether it was because I was abused but I've never really had much s*x desire.
Pink kitty 6 months ago
Probably is. You'd associated the two and your s*x drive would subconsciously curl up and hide
Load More Replies... Sven Horlemann 6 months ago
All you need is find a partner that is ok with that. Because, genereally speaken, you are ok.
Penelope Orange 6 months ago
Speaking from personal experience -There could possibly be a hormonal imbalance, or potentially repressed childhood SA. I had both and either one on it's own can affect s*x drive/desire. My hormones were tested when I was trying to get pregnant. That's when my imbalance was discovered. Once that was treated and my levels read as normal, I was able to get pregnant, and was also happily surprised at the way my desire/s*x drive skyrocketed. The childhood trauma is much more complicated and personal, but I brought it up because that also has a huge impact on a persons sexuality. And to clarify, I am now 61 years old and post menopausal. I no longer take hormones due to the increased risk of breast cancer beyond a certain age on them, but my husband and I continue to have a healthy sexual relationship.
AnotherAtheist 6 months ago
It's possible not to be asxual and have little s*x desre I have 2 children and a husband but really want s*x just every few months. I could go without s*x for years but I wouldn't choose to be single because I love having a family.
Ellinor 6 months ago
I kinda think that you're asexual. Asexual people have FEW to no sexual desire, and they can have s*x if they want to, to please their partner or even to have children. And Asexuality is different from Aromantism, which is having FEW to no romantic feelings. So asexual people very much can feel romantic love and have a happy marriage with children.
Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 6 months ago
That is perfectly normal! Asexualism is just the way some people are. There's nothing wrong with it.
Evelien Stijger Martens 6 months ago
I only have that within a relationship, the fire dies very soon and it just feels gross.
#15
My anxiety meds/adhd meds/and anti-depressants not working as well when Im on my period.
I thought that my meds were just not consistent, turns out the inconsistency was my hormone levels affecting how efficiently my body absorbed medication.
Friggin medicine was only tested as men's hormone levels as the default so they're not built with a woman's cycle causing hormone fluctuations in mind. I just take a way higher dose now than I probably need in the hope that it helps keep me level enough during the dips. Doesn't always work though.
Jill Rhodry 6 months ago
Sorta🤷🏻♀️need to speak to doc about adjusting meds during your cycle - hormone levels afeect dopamine so adhd symptoms as well - that's why a lot of women become more aware of their symptoms after menopause
Justbecause 6 months ago
Most medication is tested on men, only now are they starting to make testing on women mandatory. I was recently put on blood thinners, there are guidelines on blood loss volumes and when you should visit emergency. I got my period and was well over the guidelines, went to emergency where they ummed and ahhed over me, said there was no protocols and no information for what they should do in this situation. They just sent me home. Google scholar backed them up, no research done on my demographic.
#16
Realizing that “getting randomly scared you’re pregnant even when you haven’t had s*x” is a universal experience 😂
Also: the deep, irrational guilt after saying “no” to plans just because you’re tired and need time alone. I really thought I was just being weird or antisocial until I heard other women say the same thing.
Turns out, a lot of us are walking around with shared experiences we never even talk about. The power of women opening up is wild. We’re all out here thinking we’re the only ones quietly spiraling but we’re actually on the same rollercoaster. 🌀💕.
Rahb in Oz 6 months ago
“the deep, irrational guilt after saying “no” to plans just because you’re tired and need time alone.“ Male here; same problem! I think this affects many people.
Jay Scales 6 months ago
I've never heard of being worried about pregnancy when you clearly can't be..... Is this a thing?
MeowZedong 6 months ago (edited)
The Virgin Mary never happened. You have nothing to worry about.
#17
Having issues orgasming and hardly having one...
I was convinced for so long my body was broken.
KC T. 6 months ago
I used to have this issue, but discovered being in love, feeling loved and feeling close makes such a huge difference. Before I married my husband, we waited for awhile and I was already in love with him our first time and it was confusing at first because I've never orgasmed the first time with anyone and I consistently have 2 or 3 each time with him. The only times I haven't been able to with him are when I feel distant and not as close.
My O My 6 months ago
Off topic. I read your username as KFC and now I'm hungry 😂
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 6 months ago
There is so much variety among women's sexual desire. It's affected by age, hormones, techniques, emotions, body differences, trauma ... So, so much. And I don't think it's always fixable.
LillieMean 6 months ago
And why does it vary so much? Sometimes it's like throwing gasoline on the flames in a matter of minutes, and sometimes nothing, even though with such dedication you could have already lit wet firewood by rubbing sticks together.
Bonesko 6 months ago
And the magic angle! Finding the right angle for your body is key!
Load More Replies... Lene 6 months ago
I have never had one and I have always wondered why it was. My most recent theory is that it's my racing thoughts and I hope that when I am tested for adhd I will learn to focus better. Perhaps with the help of medication. I don't know. It just sounds so much fun to orgasm during s*x! I want to try it.
TotallyNOTAFox 6 months ago
Female orgasms are way more complex. Hormones, mood, state of mind at that moment etc. - it has more of mental factors than what we guys have going on
#18
Thinking I was the only one who’d pretend to text someone while walking alone because I felt unsafe… until I found out so many girls do the same.
Family's_disappointment 6 months ago (edited)
It makes them think that you're to busy to notice them in reality you can understand, see and hear everything and can make a run for it. And also if they try to even get close to you can immediately call someone.
Rika 6 months ago
1) It makes you a perfect target for thieves. I had my phone ripped out of my hand by some guy who ran past and was long out of sight before I came down from the shock. And I only had my phone out for a few seconds to check the time. Trust me, it wasn't a fun experience. 2) The person you're texting couldn't do anything. If someone wants to kidnap you, they'll snatch your phone and throw it away before dragging you somewhere else. They sure won't stand there while you text your location and wait for your friend to show up. 3) Even if you're only pretending to text, you're likely to be distracted enough to trip over the pavement or something. Plus, having a phone in your hand makes it harder to instinctively throw a punch. Overall, this is a dumb idea. You'll be safer just being aware of your surroundings and having your hands free to fight back if it gets physical.
Jill Rhodry 6 months ago (edited)
potential perpatrator thinks you can immediately contact someone if they make a move - personally I make phonecalls - but that may not be as believable for the younger generations
Load More Replies... #19
Before my period/on my period or when I'm getting a cold, my skin hurts. All of it. My whole body skin hurts.
My old boss said she experienced the same thing!
Atom Bohr 6 months ago
I get really bad toothache if I'm not on the pill. Every month
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Ms.GB 6 months ago
I get really sensitive to touch. It feels like someone is touching a sunburn or a rugburn.
Michelle Dowling 6 months ago
I have this and it took 25yrs to find out it was a thing. ALLODYNIA..... when I get a bout of it it is now in my muscles and 1/4 body size. Started off 5cm × 5cm. So painful in the groun area. I hope this helps.
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Susie Elle 6 months ago
Same! It even hurts when I get into the shower and the water falls on me! I only have it when I'm sick, though
Courtney Christelle 6 months ago
Same thing happens when I get the flu/cold. Even water from a shower hurts.
ROSESARERED 6 months ago
My neck muscles would get so tight it would trigger a migraine. My doctor told me it's not because of my period. I could mark it on a calendar. Now in menopause, I rarely have a migraine, no more pain in my neck every month
#20
Before my period, my legs start to really hurt and have this “pulling” sensation by the thigh area. it’s so uncomfortable.
Lyoness 6 months ago
Somebody reaching through your back and squeezing the bejesus out of your innards.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 6 months ago
Do they feel like restless leg syndrome? I've never noticed a connection to my period, but often my restless leg syndrome is worse when I need to pee and I've always wanted to know why (the cramps sort of feel like a pulling sensation).
Alex Schneider 6 months ago
my daughter feel it in her kidneys..me just getting physically weak, each step/stair seems to cost all my energies and leaving me breathless like I never been used to jump them up lighthearted rest of the times
#21
Not knowing how to take care of yourself as a woman does, because you weren’t taught.
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
For me it means I was in boarding schools and lived with my father so missed out of a whole raft of female care options.
Load More Replies... Lyoness 6 months ago
She could mean that lots of women are taught to care for others before they take care of themselves.
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#22
....creeps who approach young girls nearby schools.
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
Ugh, when I was in year 12, I had a rehearsal of my solo performance with my drama teacher after school. He got a phone call from a friend who talked about passing by a different high school and watching all the girls. Majorly creeped me out and since I knew the teacher had had a fiancé he met when he taught her during his preservice teacher rounds it turned my stomach even more. He was only 23, but it would still be statutory r**e...
MeowZedong 6 months ago
Psychopaths being more into p**n does not mean that p**n creates psychopaths. Psychopaths view people as objects so p**n works well for them. That daily mail is the British equivalent of the Inquirer. In general a persons cognitive abilities decline after watching short videos. So a persons cognitive abilities declining after watching 10 minutes is normal.
Load More Replies... #23
Getting chest / neck hair.
Bonesko 6 months ago
I used to be so insecure the hair on my face, stomach, and chest. I thought I was disgusting. It turns out, I'm a human. Humans are mammals 🤷♀️
Rosie Hamilton 6 months ago
Over the years I've known a few women who had to shave their faces daily because of the amount of hair. Nope, not disgusting at all. Just one of those things.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
See my random dark, strong single hair below my belly button that comes back every couple of months...
#24
I told a story on a separate social media platform about a man who asked if he could buy me at my job when I was a teenager. Almost every single comments was “omg me too!!!”.
Penelope Orange 6 months ago (edited)
As in buy s*x from her. Still OH HELL NO!
Load More Replies... Family's_disappointment 6 months ago
Someone did this to me too. I lied to them by telling them I have a murder charge over my head and unless and until they want to become my next victim they can come for me. And this happened when I was sitting in a café with my friend, that also in broad daylight.
#25
Wanting to end it all the week before my period (diagnosed PMDD lol).
Little Bit 6 months ago
I had PMDD since day 1 of my periods when I was 13. Back in the 90s it wasn't a recognised condition. In the run up to my period I would sit and sob uncontrollably for days. My mood swings were so extreme that I would have to shut myself in my room away from everybody. My periods were heavy and so painful that i couldn't even stand up.My mother told me it was normal and not to make such a fuss so I suffered in silence for years. I was 18 or 19 when I went to my doctor and begged for a hysterectomy because I couldn't live with it any more. I was given medication which helped. My mother later admitted that she'd never had any problems with her periods and had never seen anyone suffer in the way I had and she didn't know how to handle it.
Sarah 6 months ago (edited)
I knew a guy around 2001. He was doing PhD or masters in science ( I can’t remember which discipline exactly ) he was given the topic…studying hormones in women in relation to menstruation .obvs that wasn’t the title! But somewhere along those lines! He said what goes on in a female body for the WHOLE month was extradinary, it’s not just the few days of your period, the entire month, he said, the female body is preparing. I love that he got that topic.. he has 3 sisters!
Load More Replies... Atom Bohr 6 months ago
PMDD is brutal. While I'm on the pill I don't get it, just pms, but without the pill my entire personality can change in the space of 10 minutes and I go from being perfectly happy and cheerful to raging/anxious/numb, and súicidal. Anywhere from 6 hours to 5 days later I switch back just as fast
Mel in Georgia 6 months ago
I went through a time when I would just get so annoyed at everyone and everything for a few days. I'm a pretty laid-back person so I was aware this was weird. Then when my period got regular (wasn't for the longest time) I realized that it happened a few days before I started. Was relieved there was an explanation! Feel badly for those who have to go through this OP's kind of misery. Dam n hormones!
Evelien Stijger Martens 6 months ago
It started 34 years ago and I know for 11 ulu3ars now it has a name. Went through he'll of perimenopause, had my ovarys removed and got hormones, first time I feel better sinds I was 21.
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
I never had PMS until this year (I'm 35). Most of my periods this year, two days before I have been majorly anxious and teary but each time forgot my period was coming up. Then when it started I was like 'ohh, now it makes sense'.
#26
My driving instructor bringing up inappropriate topics or comments.
Vicky Lacey 6 months ago
I (46F) became a driving instructor because mine slapped my legs. I don't want other girls to be frightened to learn.
Oskar vanZandt 6 months ago
Captive audience... Not like the driving student can just get out of the car.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 6 months ago
The reason I was scared to start driving instruction… heard so many horror stories
#27
The way that tampons don't actually properly soak up period blood.
Period blood does not have the right consistency to really be absorbed by a tampon. A little bit is absorbed, but mostly the tampon is just physically blocking the blood from coming out.
I always thought everyone else's tampons came out being soaked through in blood until I saw a reddit post about it.
Jill Rhodry 6 months ago (edited)
we were taught that if it's not soaked through within 4-6 hours you're using the wrong size tampon for that day of bleeding - problem being TSS especially as you can graze inside trying to remove a dry/ish tampon
Pink kitty 6 months ago
Wish op could see your comment. A tampon is not a plug. I think reddit is spreading false information
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Wendy Morgan 6 months ago
I always had large clots, not as much fluid, and when there was fluid, it was very thick, like syrup. Sometimes it could leak through the tampon, but when I pulled the tampon out, there was hardly anything on it
Peeka_Mimi 6 months ago
I dont know if they still make them but I used OB brand extra super absorbent and used a pad as well. That cup thing looks intriguing if I still had my period, I'd use it.
Ejteh 6 months ago
I have the same problem, it causes stomach aches! But i have a theory maybe the 'period fluid' is to thick to be absorbed? Since not everybody seems to have this problem. It makes sense, too clothy can't be absorbed (sorry for everyone who was eating something while reading this)
Jamie Peterson 6 months ago
Endometriosis.... not necessarily related to tampons or TSS but 1 in 10 ladies...
#28
A*****e cramps on my period. One of THE most uncomfortable feelings but would at least only last a couple of seconds. Luckily I stopped getting these cramps once I got my IUD.
Bonesko 6 months ago (edited)
That's what that is?! It's not frequent, and doesn't last long, but I did not know that was a thing!
Ms.GB 6 months ago (edited)
Omg I'm glad it's not just me. Not that I'm glad that your b*m hurts but I've never heard anyone else have this problem.
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Donna Sutton 6 months ago
B******e spikes is what I called them. They also hit at the most unexpected moment. You’re walking or just about to sit, then…WHOA! Where did that come from??
#29
My hair has changed as I've gotten older. I always had thick curly, like natural spiral curls, hair. Had to use thinning shears when I'd get it cut, that kinda "thick". Noticed my hair wasn't as floofy and mentioned it to a stylist during a cut and color and she said I still have thick hair, I just have fine hair. And my curls? *Sigh* Oh how I miss my curls. Once my hair is dry, I barely have a wave anymore. It's almost stick straight. How am I supposed to style this c**p?! Lmao!
LilliVB 6 months ago
I've got the exact opposite problem. Always had more than straight hair, now I've got them wavy/curly. And I don't really know how to properly care for them too.
AtMostAFabulist 6 months ago (edited)
I have always had super straight hair, but now I have frizzy hair. I would rather have the straight.
Jill Rhodry 6 months ago
try adding moisture - frizzy generally means curly hair that's too dry
Load More Replies... CD Mills 6 months ago
My stupid Thyroid decided to slack off on me in my fifties, and now my hair volume is so much less. My ponytail used to be like the diameter of a fifty-cent piece; now my ponytail is about the diameter of one of those kindergarten pencils! :( Thyroid meds can't bring the volume back either.
Michelle C 6 months ago
My problem is the exact opposite and I’m also grateful to have super thick hair, even though it can be difficult to style and maintain!
#30
Puking and food aversions due to period.
Kristy Marion 6 months ago
Oh yes. Sometimes such intense cramping that it triggers both ends from the sheer intensity. Good times
Spocks's Mom 6 months ago
Period poopíng and puking are my specialties. I can't wait to get my uterus out next month.
Load More Replies... LillieMean 6 months ago
I often can't eat much for the first couple of days and for some reason my sense of smell gets stronger which doesn't really help with the nausea. Also, so-called ghost smells kick in, meaning I smell something that doesn't exist and those smells are bad. Apparently hormonal changes cause them.
What do you think ?
Little Bit 6 months ago
Inability to control my emotions since being perimenopausal. One minute I'm absolutely fine and then the next my emotions come bubbling up out of nowhere and before I know it I'm crying uncontrollably and i can't stop. It can last for minutes, hours or days and then it goes away as quickly as it came on. It isn't even caused by anything upsetting. It happened to me a few days ago right out ov the blue when I was playing Candy Crush
Mel in Georgia 6 months ago
Thank goodness all my weird symptoms (high emotions, brain fog, irrational thoughts) subsided after going through menopause. Hope it's the same for you!
Load More Replies... Ellinor 6 months ago
Did anyone else had that really weird dream when you have a baby, and when you wake up you're irrationally sad even if you never want kids or were really young when you had that dream ?
Spocks's Mom 6 months ago
Not about babies, but I'll dream about people that are not here anymore and it always renews my sense of sadness and loss.
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Tamra 6 months ago
I'd like to find a group of women to talk to about how menopause changed them. It changed everything about me...my hair, skin, the way I feel, the way my body processes medications... everything. I'm no longer the person I was, and I'm having a really hard time dealing with it.
Alex Schneider 6 months ago
I feel this.. brainfog isn't easy for a smarthead like me, out of sudden everything seems to be older,you have to find a new role in this world,fall out of the race for youth and fame.. not in a slow processing way, but in smaller and bigger waves I found out whales have menopause too and the older females keep the peace between the young males... I just thaught wtf..this will be my golden girls/ old h*g time- only one I will teach is young girls to flipfinger and keep a place at my fire for every other witch that want to dance naked cause the heatwave hits or the brainfog left the trousers at home
Load More Replies... JB 6 months ago
Surprised no one mentioned the smell. I hated that I smelled of raw meat throughout my period. Yes, I used the right size tampons changed regularly. Yes, I washed down there (the outside) every time I changed. Didn’t matter. And the stench of a bloody tampon is nauseating. Menstrual cups were so much better when I finally discovered them.
Ejteh 6 months ago
I really missed hemorrhoids. I know a lot of woman get them during pregnancy, but i lately found out a lot of young woman get them without being pregnant too. They are a pain! And it would be so much easier if people just talked! About hemorrhoids, but also other 'embarrassing' discomforts. Who cares if we are not perfect! I just want to be comfy!
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago
I went to my prenatal appointment a couple weeks ago and discovered our baby didn't have a heartbeat. It's been a really painful (emotionally and physically) few weeks. 😥
Justbecause 6 months ago (edited)
That periods are optional, I was complaining to a friend about missing swimming and shes like why dont you just skip the period. Seriously in all the drs appointments about my period not one gave me an option to skip my periods. Even now when I'm clear to my drs about my preferences they will still try to force periods on me. Years later and a friend was saying how much her and her partner fight when she gets her period so I got to pass on my valuable information!
Little Bit 6 months ago
Inability to control my emotions since being perimenopausal. One minute I'm absolutely fine and then the next my emotions come bubbling up out of nowhere and before I know it I'm crying uncontrollably and i can't stop. It can last for minutes, hours or days and then it goes away as quickly as it came on. It isn't even caused by anything upsetting. It happened to me a few days ago right out ov the blue when I was playing Candy Crush
Mel in Georgia 6 months ago
Thank goodness all my weird symptoms (high emotions, brain fog, irrational thoughts) subsided after going through menopause. Hope it's the same for you!
Load More Replies... Ellinor 6 months ago
Did anyone else had that really weird dream when you have a baby, and when you wake up you're irrationally sad even if you never want kids or were really young when you had that dream ?
Spocks's Mom 6 months ago
Not about babies, but I'll dream about people that are not here anymore and it always renews my sense of sadness and loss.
Load More Replies... Tamra 6 months ago
I'd like to find a group of women to talk to about how menopause changed them. It changed everything about me...my hair, skin, the way I feel, the way my body processes medications... everything. I'm no longer the person I was, and I'm having a really hard time dealing with it.
Alex Schneider 6 months ago
I feel this.. brainfog isn't easy for a smarthead like me, out of sudden everything seems to be older,you have to find a new role in this world,fall out of the race for youth and fame.. not in a slow processing way, but in smaller and bigger waves I found out whales have menopause too and the older females keep the peace between the young males... I just thaught wtf..this will be my golden girls/ old h*g time- only one I will teach is young girls to flipfinger and keep a place at my fire for every other witch that want to dance naked cause the heatwave hits or the brainfog left the trousers at home
Load More Replies... JB 6 months ago
Surprised no one mentioned the smell. I hated that I smelled of raw meat throughout my period. Yes, I used the right size tampons changed regularly. Yes, I washed down there (the outside) every time I changed. Didn’t matter. And the stench of a bloody tampon is nauseating. Menstrual cups were so much better when I finally discovered them.
Ejteh 6 months ago
I really missed hemorrhoids. I know a lot of woman get them during pregnancy, but i lately found out a lot of young woman get them without being pregnant too. They are a pain! And it would be so much easier if people just talked! About hemorrhoids, but also other 'embarrassing' discomforts. Who cares if we are not perfect! I just want to be comfy!
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago
I went to my prenatal appointment a couple weeks ago and discovered our baby didn't have a heartbeat. It's been a really painful (emotionally and physically) few weeks. 😥
Justbecause 6 months ago (edited)
That periods are optional, I was complaining to a friend about missing swimming and shes like why dont you just skip the period. Seriously in all the drs appointments about my period not one gave me an option to skip my periods. Even now when I'm clear to my drs about my preferences they will still try to force periods on me. Years later and a friend was saying how much her and her partner fight when she gets her period so I got to pass on my valuable information!
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