“One Of My Husband’s Friends Made Me Uncomfortable At Our Wedding, But It’s My Own Fault”

There’s no cookie cutter for creating the perfect wedding. Whatever the bride and groom imagine for their special day should be just fine for everyone else, even if that means encouraging guests to wear their own wedding dresses.

But after one bride invited all attendees to don the very fanciest clothes they have for her wedding, she was surprised to see what her husband’s ex-fiancé showed up in. Below, you’ll find a post that this newlywed recently shared on the True Off My Chest subreddit where she wonders if she has a right to be upset, as well as an interview with the bride herself.

This bride was set on having a “princess wedding” where all guests wore their most extravagant looks

Image credits: avanti_photo (not the actual photo)

However, she was not prepared for what her husband’s ex-fiancé decided to wear

Image credits: eeveephotography19 (not the actual photo)

Image credits: vedrana2701 (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Weddingdressthrow11

The bride later shared an update on the situation, explaining where her and her husband now stand with this friend

Image credits: Katerina Holmes (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Weddingdressthrow11

It’s common for brides and grooms to request that their guests follow some sort of dress code

We were able to get in touch with this bride via Reddit, and she was kind enough to have a chat with us about this whole situation. First, she noted that she is relieved this “friend” will no longer be in her and her husband’s life. We were also curious why this former friend of hers held onto this wedding dress all these years, knowing she would probably never have the chance to wear it. “I think she kept it for sentimental reasons because of her dad,” the newlywed told Bored Panda. “I don’t know why she didn’t wear it to her own wedding. I don’t know if she would’ve gotten another chance to wear it, maybe on one her anniversaries like a ten year one when most people renew their vows.”

Thankfully, all of this dress drama did not distract too much, as the bride says she still had a wonderful wedding. “The outfits were GORGEOUS,” she shared. “My favorite part was seeing my mom in her own wedding dress as I said ‘I do’. For some reason, it felt very sentimental and symbolic.” And finally, we asked the OP if she thinks couples should have any rules surrounding maintaining friendships with their exes. “Yes I do, but every person is different,” she noted. “Which is why I believe everyone should be upfront with their boundaries from the jump, which may or may not change the longer the relationship lasts.”

Many brides would be horrified by the idea of having guests show up to their wedding wearing white dresses, let alone their own wedding gowns. But for a glamorous “princess wedding”, it makes perfect sense. And while this particular bride was only trying to curate the wedding of her dreams by having guests show up dressed to the nines, she’s not the first person to have this fabulous, nontraditional idea. Another couple went viral in 2019 for specifically asking guests to come to the occasion wearing their own wedding gowns. “We thought it was sad that most women only get to wear their wedding dress once, so we invited all the women coming to our non-traditional wedding to wear their old wedding dresses again!” the groom explained in an Imgur post he shared, featuring a photo of his wife and some of her friends who dressed all in white. There’s no need to follow tradition when it comes to planning your wedding, in fact, it can be even more exciting to deviate from what’s expected and decide on your own unique theme.

Image credits: Thomas AE (not the actual photo)

But the issue here seems to be more about the guest herself than what she decided to wear

Requesting that wedding guests follow a specific color scheme or dress code is actually quite common. This might include providing a handful of approved colors that guests are encouraged to wear or asking them specifically to wear shades of one color. If the wedding will have a theme, such as ballroom, it can be helpful to provide guests with inspiration photos to ensure that they understand what’s expected of them. And if you’re wondering what the best way to request guests follow a certain look is, the experts at WeddingLearning recommend alerting attendees in their invitations, allowing them plenty of time to figure out their looks. “It’s best to be direct and ask guests to adhere to it,” they explain. “By being clear about your desires, you can ensure that everyone is on the same page and that your wedding day runs smoothly.”

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with requesting that guests follow whatever dress code will make your wedding day more magical, but unfortunately, in this specific situation, it appears that the dress was not the only issue. This newlywed seemed to have known prior to the wedding that she had an issue with her husband’s ex-fiancé, so it might not have been wise to include her in the event in the first place. When maintaining a relationship with an ex, it can be difficult to know whether or not they should receive an invitation to your wedding. But according to Ivy Jacobson at The Knot, it’s crucial that everyone is 100% comfortable with them coming before they are invited. She recommends considering how all “key players” in the wedding will react to this person coming. “If you have even the tiniest fear they’ll upset someone or that a guest (or your fiancé) may be distracted by their presence, cut them from the guest list—they’ll likely understand why,” Jacobson writes.

Inviting exes to a wedding can be risky, so it’s important for couples to communicate and ensure they’re both completely comfortable with who’s on the guest list

On the other hand, it can be perfectly normal to have exes at your wedding. After all, we don’t live in a world where people marry their first kisses anymore, Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert based in San Antonio, Texas, told The New York Times. And it can bring a healthy sense of closure to see your ex move on and be happy with someone else, as they start their new life together. But at the end of the day, it completely depends on the nature of the relationship and how both parties feel about one another.

Whether or not the friend in this story has lingering feelings the groom, readers agreed that it was a questionable choice to hold onto that wedding dress all these years and decide to wear it at his wedding to someone else. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this bride had the right to be upset after asking guests to wear their fanciest looks? And how would you have reacted if you were in her shoes? Feel free to share your thoughts, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring wedding drama surrounding what the groom’s ex decided to wear, look no further than right here.  

Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)

Readers chimed in with their thoughts, so the bride joined the conversation to clarify details and provide more info

Many readers assured the bride that she has the right to be bothered, warning her that this friendship may need to end

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