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Doctors, nurses, and other healthcare workers often have to describe complex medical concepts to patients who have very limited knowledge in the field, and out of this necessity, many have had no choice but to digest the difficult language into something easier to understand. So, Rachel Courville, who herself is a veterinarian from Chicago, asked these poets-on-demand to share the absolute wildest analogies they've used to get their points across. People from the industry eagerly answered her call, and only if Shakespeare could read their replies!

Image source: bellavetdvm

#1

40 Unhinged Analogies That Explain Complex Medical Problems With Ridiculous Clarity Explained that vaccines are the leaked classified documents your immune system uses to prepare for battle against invaders.

scipaws , Maksym Kaharlytskyi/unsplash Report

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    #2

    40 Unhinged Analogies That Explain Complex Medical Problems With Ridiculous Clarity Depression: Imagine you are walking around with a motorcycle helmet on all the time. You can still make contact with the world, but it takes so much more effort because there is something between you and the rest of the world that interferes.

    jdanielsh Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get this one. If you walk around with a helmet on continuously for a few weeks, I'd guess you'd just be as exhausted, listless and numb as when depressed. Haven't walked around with a helmet, have had multiple depressions.

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    #3

    Woman with glasses coughing into hand, illustrating healthcare workers using wild analogies to explain medical problems. For the cough taking forever to resolve after pneumonia: it’s like the germs threw a ticker tape parade in your lungs. The people from the parade went home, meaning the germs are dead. But there’s a huge mess in the streets for your body to clean up.

    alyssa.newman.779 , Annie Spratt/unsplash Report

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I absolutely get this one. Last time I had pneumonia I was coughing up snot and phlegm for two months. On the plus side it got me to quit smoking.

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    #4

    Hand in glove loading dirty glasses and mugs into a dishwasher, illustrating wild analogies healthcare workers use. Going to sleep is like a dishwasher.
    (During sleep cerebral spinal fluid flows in and out of the brain to remove Amyloid-beta and other metabolic waste that accumulate during the day - identical to how a dishwasher fills then drains to clean your dishware. Going without sleep for extended periods is like eating off a dirty plate with rotting foodstuffs on it.)

    cannibalqt3.14 , Kübra Arslaner/unsplash Report

    #5

    Two people playing a fast-paced arcade game with multiple holes, illustrating wild analogies healthcare workers use. I explain the effects of unresolved trauma to patients like playing a game of wack a mole. If you don’t address it, it starts popping up in other areas, like blood pressure, migraines, GI issues, etc.

    hannah_likes_to_read , Val H/flickr Report

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    #6

    40 Unhinged Analogies That Explain Complex Medical Problems With Ridiculous Clarity Fibromyalgia is like when you go the gym for the first time and do a really heavy workout and then everytime you move the following day your muscles scream at you - except you never did the work out and your muscles are still screaming.

    wealthofdifference , Nate Johnston/unsplash Report

    #7

    Healthcare worker in white coat with stethoscope writing notes during patient consultation in clinical setting When my psych patients get stuck on having several diagnoses I remind them a label is a label. If I call my cat a dog it’s still a cat and needs what it needs. You need what you need so quit focusing on a diagnosis as your identity. You’re you.

    spacecadet629 , Ahmed/unsplash Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That being said, it can really help to get an explanation for certain behaviours. To know why some things feel like an uphill battle all the time gives me more room to be kind to myself when I struggle, instead chastising myself. It also helped to know I wasn't just a failure, I'm just wired differently and have a different manual. My actions are still my responsibility, I just know better what tools can help me function better in a society that's aimed at people with different wiring in their brain.

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    #8

    Woman in a medical gown with hand on chest, illustrating healthcare worker analogies for medical problems. Heart attack patient: Your heart isn't a Lambo anymore. It's a Honda. Hondas hate hills. But they'll last you if you treat them right.

    Patient was trying to the same amount of work as before right after.

    mumto2monsters , Getty Images/unsplash Report

    Ravenkbh
    Community Member
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My heart is like a Little Tikes Princess cozy coupe

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    #9

    Hand pouring fluid into car engine, illustrating wild analogies healthcare workers use to explain medical problems. Dehydration is bad for kidneys. You know engines ( old guys nod their heads). Well….what happens when engines run out of oil ( old guys make a face and grimace). Exactly!!! Stay hydrated!

    macrobug , Yunus Tuğ/unsplash Report

    Nadine Debard
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Water is important but if you're already dehydrated it's not the best solution (pun intended), you'd better drink something with salt, minerals and sugar, that's why there are oral rehydration solutions.

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    #10

    Woman with white orchids covering her face, representing wild analogies healthcare workers use to explain medical problems. Fertility is like a flower. Some women are like dandelions! They can thrive in all conditions and pop up in full bloom between the cracks in the pavement. However, some (PCOS, luteal phase defect, endometriosis, etc) are more like beautiful, exotic orchids! They’re not broken or damaged; they just need the right food, light, and conditions in order to thrive and bloom 🌺

    ttc.nutritionist , Linh Le/unsplash Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hugs to everyone who is struggling with fertility issues right now. It took me many years to understand the desire for one's own biological children (I'm adopted and have never wanted children myself) but I now feel the deepest empathy for those who are struggling with having or cannot have the child they desire so badly. <3

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    #11

    Plastic Walmart reusable bag with green graphic logo placed on white tiled floor, illustrating healthcare worker analogies. “Water is the trash bag your kidneys use to take out the trash- are you making your kidneys work with the thin Walmart bag with the hole in the bottom, or are you giving them the good Hefty bag with the rip-stop and the odor blocker?”

    wanderingknitter , plaaya/reddit Report

    howdylee
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *sips water bottle after reading this*

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    #12

    Close-up of two people outdoors with one leaning on the other's shoulder, illustrating healthcare workers using analogies. Prednisone is like a bad boyfriend. Makes you feel soooo good at first but beats you up if it stays around too long.

    msmeg119 , Getty Images/unsplash Report

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God I hate that stuff. I've had to go on it multiple times for allergies. Never feels good and gives me back to back panic attacks.

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    #13

    Sign showing two figures needing a toilet with an arrow, illustrating wild analogies healthcare workers use for medical problems. Why women get UTIs more frequently than men.

    “Idk why the creator designed a sewage plant next to the playground.”

    hilariouslyhilary , Waldemar/unsplash Report

    Ahnjunwan
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very easy to explain. The female urethea is just shorter so it is easier for the bacteria to walk in. For men, the way is 20 cm longer, to long for some bacteria. Allways glad to help 😌

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    #14

    40 Unhinged Analogies That Explain Complex Medical Problems With Ridiculous Clarity The yearly flu shot. Our white blood cells are like our army to k**l off "the bad guys." Every year, the bad guys wear a new disguise. When we get our booster shots, we are sending in some new fighters with a picture of how the bad guy looks now.

    bloomingfreckles , CDC/unsplash Report

    Lady Eowyn
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    K I L L. For the love of everything, this place is becoming a real buzzkill.

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    #15

    40 Unhinged Analogies That Explain Complex Medical Problems With Ridiculous Clarity Allergies - “your immune system is paranoid”.

    bdcwriting , Getty Images/unsplash Report

    #16

    Close-up of an elderly man's face with detailed wrinkles, illustrating healthcare workers' medical analogies. "The pancreas is like that creepy old neighbor who, if he perceives any kind of insult, no matter how small, will decide to burn the rest of the neighborhood down."

    kdoo1992 , Sina Bahar/unsplash Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So... my mom's a pancreas. I'm going to start using this as a pet name for her XD (I called her "Mothra" when I was a kid...)

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    #17

    Healthcare worker explains medical problems to patient using a tablet in a hospital setting with compassionate care. Explaining leukemia to my peds onc families: Your bone marrow is a factory. Usually, all of the different workers are there in the right amounts and they all do their jobs and get along. Leukemia is when one of those workers goes rogue and then convinces all of his friends to go rogue. So now you have WAY too many of one kind of worker, and not only that, none of them do their job right AND there's so many of them that none of the other workers can come to work anymore.

    Then, for the first month of treatment, we work to empty out the entire factory so hopefully we can hire a whole new work force that doesn't go rogue. And the rest of therapy is to help ensure those rogue workers don't sneakily come back.

    in_liminality , Getty Images/unsplash Report

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    #18

    Man with intense expression juggling colorful balls, illustrating wild analogies healthcare workers use in medical explanations. Psych NP: having ADHD is like trying to juggle all your thoughts at once, and some of the balls just disappear, and some fall and try to roll away, so then you chase after the rolling ball and the other balls fall and roll away out of sight.

    kelly.d.brill , Jim DeGrandis/unsplash Report

    Marnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is making me want to come up with an analogy for low-support-needs autism (though it's a spectrum of issues/traits that mix and match, so pretty difficult). For me, off the top of my head (and I'm sure I will think this is very inadequate and highly inaccurate later), I would say it's trying to navigate life while balancing a glass of water on your head, while trying to remember to never ever say the words "other" "fork" or "elevate", and while someone is repeatedly (but not rhythmically) poking you with a scratchy stick, while wearing wet socks, and with music so loud you can barely talk over it playing at random times throughout the day. Makes it hard to concentrate, hard to have normal conversations, hard to remain stress-free, hard to show proper expression on your face and expression in your voice when saying, "I'm so sorry to hear about your mom," even though you mean it wholeheartedly. Sometimes you don't even think to say it! But then in bed, you cry in empathy.

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    #19

    40 Unhinged Analogies That Explain Complex Medical Problems With Ridiculous Clarity The human body is really good at surviving big things, like a shark bite. It clamps down vessels, it clots blood.
    But, when we do surgery, your body thinks: aaahhh! Shark bite! And tries to respond the same way.
    Problem is, we don’t need all that clotting and clamping. So, we give you anticoagulants and get you up and moving so you don’t make clots where we don’t need them. BC if one of those clots is in a lung or the brain, that’s bad.

    evidencebasedmenace , Getty Images/unsplash Report

    Judy Reynolds
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a pulmonary embolism a few years ago. It felt like someone sucked all the oxygen out of the room. I will be taking warfarin for the rest of my life.

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    #20

    Three masked healthcare workers wearing racing suits at a pit stop, illustrating wild analogies to explain medical problems. When calling a rapid response for a patient. “Have you ever seen a Nascar pit crew? Well in two minutes you’re about to be the car.”

    gregoryg96 , RickWareRacing/reddit Report

    Don Adams
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So true. I had a cardiac issue while in the hospital last spring. Luckily it was not as serious as it could have been, but the turnout was fantastic. And such an orderly chaos.

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    #21

    Close-up of an old computer screen showing an Internet Explorer dial-up connection window and login fields for username and password. Primary care pediatrician - I compare the start of puberty to connecting to dial up internet. Always leaves the parents laughing and the kids in disbelief as I tell them about the "olden times" where connecting to the internet took several minutes and was slow and unreliable once you connected.

    argyleallison , Christiaan Colen/flickr Report

    Orysha
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And that was as noisy as teeenagers.

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    #22

    40 Unhinged Analogies That Explain Complex Medical Problems With Ridiculous Clarity As a hospice nurse, explaining how to use meds at end of life, as many are afraid of giving them. If the caretaker has kids, I would ask if they had an epidural and explain "you know how labor can sometimes feel like it's not progressing, and you're ready but also scared, and everything is tense? And then they come give you that medicine and it blocks the pain and the anxiety of what's next starts to go away, and your body does exactly what it was going to do naturally, but with less pain."

    amberbrace87 , Curated Lifestyle/unsplash Report

    cerinamroth
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is great. I often thought of grief like childbirth. It comes in waves, usually ends up in a radically changed perception of the world, and you just have to let it roll over you. God bless you for your noble work.

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    #23

    Healthcare worker performing an ultrasound on a pregnant woman, illustrating medical problems with wild analogies. One of my fave OB dr’s once said to a pt who was crowning “your baby is wearing you like a visor!” And I still think it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

    nurse.of.the.north , Getty Images/unsplash Report

    merlin
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Took me a second to get the image right in my head. Hilarious 😂

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    #24

    40 Unhinged Analogies That Explain Complex Medical Problems With Ridiculous Clarity -Flu vaccine is like a bulletproof vest in a war zone
    -Insulin is the key that allows glucose into your cells. T1D is when you don’t have any more keys. T2D is when the lock wears out.

    yourschoolrn , Frederick Shaw/unsplash Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To take the first analogy even further: yeah, you probably WILL still catch the flu (or COVID) if you're vaccinated. Just like you WILL still get injured if you get shot while wearing a bulletproof vest. You might even get hurt badly (contusions, bruising, maybe even snapped ribs) but you won't get shot through a major organ and bleed out.

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    #25

    40 Unhinged Analogies That Explain Complex Medical Problems With Ridiculous Clarity When a patient is on an insulin drip they assume turning it up will get them out of DKA faster. I always say, “turning the oven on high isn’t going to cook my pizza faster, it’s just going to be burnt.” When explaining the effects of DKA on electrolytes and such.

    itslilyhart , Stefan C. Asafti/unsplash Report

    Vinny DaPooh
    Community Member
    6 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Except pizza cooked in a brick oven is cooked at 800°. Bad analogy

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    #26

    Close-up of a person flossing teeth, illustrating healthcare workers using wild analogies to explain medical problems. Expanded Function Dental Therapist: “when you don’t floss it’s the equivalent of you taking a p**p and wiping your cheeks and not the crack.”

    sirensinkpmu , Natalia Blauth/unsplash Report

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last time I was at the dentist, there was a guy waiting for his appointment totally mowing down some Taco Bell. Like there's a dude about to start digging into your mouth with a metal hook and he's going to be smelling that the whole time.

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    #27

    Referring to a c-section birth as coming out the sun roof🤷🏼‍♀️

    ellecook_xo Report

    Babynursemissy
    Community Member
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve done it both ways - each twice. I’d much rather do it v@ginally than c-section. The former is just recovery from childbirth. The latter is recovery from childbirth AND major abdominal surgery.

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    #28

    Healthcare worker wearing gloves treating a patient's dental issue using medical tools in a clinical setting. “A tooth root abscess is like having a big zit under your jaw bone at the root of a tooth.” Gets the point across but then I apologize for giving us both that mental image.

    bellavetdvm , Natalia Blauth/unsplash Report

    Marnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Under the jaw bone would be just inside the skin under your chin. Maybe they mean "inside your jaw bone".

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    #29

    Three raccoons on a wooden deck, one eating from a plate, illustrating wild analogies healthcare workers use. Stem cell transplants, require heavy conditioning regimens, the patient is severely immunocompromised, lots of side effects, mucositis/stomatitis. When the white blood cells start coming up, the patient will often have a "bad" day with vomiting, diarrhea, secretions, sometimes fever etc. I always warn them and their families that WBC recovery is good, but will hit a rough patch as they try to fix everything.

    I compare it to "imagine you went away for 3 weeks but didn't realize you left a window open. Well a family of raccoons and a bunch of pigeons moved in and wrecked s**t. Stuff everywhere, holes in the walls, giant mess. You'd look around freaking out not knowing where to start and then just start cleaning chaotically. That's how white cells feel after transplant 😂

    mare_84 , fr0ggy5/unsplash Report

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    #30

    Healthcare worker examining patient’s abdomen, using wild analogies to explain medical problems during a clinic visit. From 1 to 10, 10 are you sure, 10 is like a bear is pulling you apart and eating your insides while you're still awake….. suddenly their pain level goes from 10/10 to 6/10… 🤷‍♀️

    kristinarose0707 , Getty Images/unsplash Report

    Cheeky chicken
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once donated eggs to a fertility hospital. I hyperstimulated (a great result for donation is 6 eggs and I gave them 18) I had internal bleeding and my organs were being crushed. I've had 2 children labour was 11/10, the hyperstimulation was 14/10. Helped make 2 families tho so def worth it x

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    #31

    Healthcare worker mowing grass outdoors, illustrating wild analogies used to explain medical problems. The pancreas is like the old man of the neighborhood who doesn’t want anyone in, near or around his lawn. Stones in the duct can sometimes sneak by and the old man doesn’t notice, but if he does, then everyone knows about it. He yells at the kid (stone) directly, he runs and tells his parents (liver/gallbladder) and all the other neighbors (stomach/intestines) who will listen. He ramps up and riles up the whole body and nothing can start to move past it until the old man decides to let it go…

    jodyleeann1269 , Ales Krivec/unsplash Report

    Mojitojo
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's only a 50% chance of that happening too. . .

    #32

    Aerial view of a crowded parking lot illustrating wild analogies healthcare workers use to explain medical problems. Family doc—Explaining why cholesterol can be so high in someone who has hereditary high cholesterol (familial hyperlipidemia). It’s like you are at Costco trying to find a parking space but you just keep driving around but cannot, for the life of you, find a damn parking spot. Your lipids can’t find a place to park, so it just stays in your blood with nowhere to go.

    sarampope , Ivana Cajina/unsplash Report

    Timbob
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I play this parking lot game on my tablet.

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    #33

    Healthcare worker examining patient's knee, demonstrating medical problems with wild analogies for better understanding. I'm a physical therapist and whenever I am trying to explain how to perform a hip hinge properly, I tell patients to imagine there is a flashlight in their a** and they are trying to shine the light on the wall behind them.

    dbrener22 , yury kirillov/unsplash Report

    Hiram's Friend
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's how they end up in the ER after "falling" onto a flashlight.

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    #34

    To my new autoimmune patients: "your immune system is like a camp fire, it's a super helpful tool for cooking breakfast when we go camping. A normal person's camp fire is just the right size for their breakfast. Your camp fire is more like a forest fire."

    cosmic.wraith95 Report

    meow point1
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And immunodeficiency is when you can't or can barely light a fire at all.

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    #35

    A group of people gathered outside a brick building at night, illustrating wild analogies healthcare workers use. When I explain diabetes I say “insulin is like the bouncer at a club” and with diabetes the bouncer forgot to show up to work so everyone (glucose) is waiting outside the club (the cell) and can’t get in.
    And yes, now when I hear “I don't see how you can hate from outside the club. You can't even get in” I think of diabetes.

    bellavetdvm , Egor Ivlev/unsplash Report

    Bi.Felicia
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🎶Let go, yellow model chick, yellow bottle sippin, yellow Lamborghini, yellow top missin...🎶

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    #36

    Close-up of a wireless router with cables connected, used as a wild analogy for healthcare workers explaining medical problems. We got taught: shockable rhythms are like WiFi. What do you do when it doesn't work properly? You reset it.
    If there's a signal but no connection? Shock.
    You don't shock a good rhythm (WiFi) that works (sinus rhythm).
    You don't shock a rhythm where the box has been turned off by the wall (can't be reset) (asystole).

    rattlesramblings , Compare Fibre/unsplash Report

    #37

    Colorful striped socks laid out on wooden floor illustrating analogies healthcare workers use to explain medical problems The parathyroid gland sending out PTH to ask for calcium is like a mom telling her teenage son to pick up his socks off the floor. If he does it the first time she asks, everything is good. If she has to ask a second or third time, she’s going to raise her voice. And if she keeps asking and the socks stay on the floor, she is going to scream at the next person who walks into the house and forcibly take their socks. Your parathyroid glands will steal eventually calcium from your bones.

    wanderingknitter , matt tipler/unsplash Report

    My O My
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So that could explain my constant craving of milk... I already have hypothyreosis. Is there a smart panda here that knows if this somehow belongs together?

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    #38

    Cooling towers at a power plant emitting steam, illustrating wild analogies healthcare workers use to explain medical problems. Estrogen is a woman's nuclear power plant.

    cmhallmi , Mick Truyts/unsplash Report

    #39

    Two glasses of bubble tea with colorful straws on a wooden table, highlighting wild analogies healthcare workers use. Urologist. I refer to different foley sizes as ranging from cocktail straw to a boba straw. If you need blood clots to come out, think of them like little boba balls…

    fashionpolisa , Ravi Kotecha/flickr Report

    El Dee
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Foley is a catheter - I Googled so you don't have to..

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    #40

    When explaining to my MOUD patients that I won’t abandon them if they relapse I compare it to diabetes. If my diabetic patients binge on donuts and sodas one weekend, I don’t cut off their insulin. It’s the same thing.

    artivizm Report

    luci (he/fae)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    moud = medications for o****d disorder (aka treatment for substance abuse disorders)

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    #41

    I explain CRPS as “the angry alcoholic in the house”. Outside looking in, the house looks fine, but once you look in the house, the nerves are PISSED.
    Helps for patients to understand that I see and believe their pain. And I can explain that there is nothing “structurally” wrong with their hand. It’s their nerves giving them wayyyy too much information.

    justin_r_gallagher Report

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    #42

    When someone has had a heart attack. "You've turned your 6 lane interstate into a bicycle lane"

    _this_is_brooke_ Report

    cerinamroth
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only hopefully with a little more empathy than that.

    #43

    For lung disease - Prednisone is the girl you want to date but never marry.

    billkwords Report

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    #44

    Dental hygienist here! 👋🏻 “The advanced oral cancer screening is like a rave. Everyone should be glowing under the black light. The weird looking guy NOT raving & glowing is the problem and needs to be checked out.” 🦷

    ichbinstina Report

    #45

    FM here. When describing panic attacks: our bodies were designed a long time ago to be able to run from bears - heart races, breathing increases, revved up which is all important to be able to have oxygen for our muscles to outrun the bear. Our stress now isn’t a bear - but we are still wired the same way.

    srobert517 Report

    Nea
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, the fright is something else. I wish I could find a way to explain that feeling.

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    #46

    Dietitian. When I explain how you stop feeling hungry when you always skip meals I explain it as "you know when you have that one friend that you keep inviting out but they keep saying no, so you stop inviting them? It's the same thing and your body stopped telling you it's hungry because you ignored it. Now please stop ignoring it."

    downfromahorse Report

    #47

    I’ve been known to describe my immune system as a hyperactive 4 year old…it sometimes gets bored and starts breaking things it shouldn’t.

    whatwillowdid Report

    CatD
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or a dog who's afraid of everything, even the furniture. And just bites.

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    #48

    Packet of Aspirin Complex medication lying on a white textured surface, related to healthcare workers and medical problems. Aspirin ≠ blood thinner
    If you compare your blood to p**ping…
    Aspirin is like when your p**p just slides out and there’s nothing on the paper when you wipe. Eliquis (and other blood thinners) is like diarrhea.

    allicorn , Tauralbus/flickr Report

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just know not to mix it with alcohol which is also a blood thinner.

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    #49

    Close-up of white industrial pipes illustrating wild analogies healthcare workers use to explain medical problems. When patients ask why uncontrolled blood sugar is a problem I tell them your arteries and veins are the plumbing and uncontrolled blood sugar is like pouring acid down the drain. The problem doesn’t show up right away but you are damaging the pipes. Similarly for strokes - the water pressure was too high and a pipe burst. Same happens when your blood pressure is too high.

    scorpianarb , Samuel Sianipar/unsplash Report

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    #50

    Not a doctor but I have ITP and I love explaining it to people with “macrophages are like the sanitation workers of my body. They take anything labeled ‘trash’ and clean up broken cells and stuff. Unfortunately, someone left the label maker in the hands of the colorblind raccoon that is my immune system, and it keeps labeling my platelets as trash. The immune system says ‘take those out or you’re fired’ and they have no choice but to do it.”

    systemiclizard Report

    #51

    Imagine your ureters like a piece of cooked spaghetti. Now imagine a jagged marble or small lego making its way thru there! That my friends is a kidney stone.

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    CatD
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always imagined kidney stones looking like a stickerburr that had been turned into glass. That's what they feel like.

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    #52

    Okay I am not a healthcare professional but I will never forget my grandfather’s urologist going on for a full seven minutes about how his prostate was like the defensive line of a football team and his urine was a running back.
    Also I cannot emphasize enough that my grandfather & I did not care about football or know much about it. & also we were already VERY clear on what the issue was prior to the analogy lol

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    #53

    Not a medical professional, but medical Mom (we've heard SO much):
    My son's soft spot didn't close up for almost 3 years. Go to neurosurgeon. He says it's fine, it'll remedy in time. "A spike falling from the sky would be problematic, but a spike falling from the sky would be problematic for any of us."

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    #54

    ER nurse. Afib is like trying to bail out a flooded boat too fast. It’s not efficiently filling the bucket and just splashing around. Control the speed, fill the bucket properly, things are much more efficient even if it’s slower.

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    #55

    Not a healthcare professional but my surgical oncologist described my then-upcoming mastectomy as “like scooping the inside of a pumpkin out of the shell” which was quite a visual…

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    #56

    PT here. Scar tissue is like spackle mending a hole in your wall. If you don’t sand (stress) it and paint it, it’s going to be ugly and not function well. And no matter how good of a job you do it’s not going to be a singular piece of Sheetrock again. But we can get it close. But the spackle is not bad. It’s necessary to heal.

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    Nadine Debard
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Took me 3 years to take care of my C-section scar. There were fibers that wouldn't go and I massaged it for 3 years. Now it's a perfect thin white line.

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    #57

    You have to hold babies like a microscope (like they taught you in high school!) by the “base” (butt) and neck!! It clicks for a shocking amount of people.

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    Owen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I haven't held that many babies, but I've held babies way more than microscopes. None have broken yet.

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    #58

    Providing breastfeeding support for first time parents I explain how you have to help roll the breast deep into baby’s mouth, like trying to take a big bite from a double-double.
    Usually dad has a light bulb moment.

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    cerinamroth
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is a double-double? Is that a burger? That's kind of what I thought of when I was feeding my bebbies.

    #59

    Atrial fibrillation - rowing boat without a coxswain to coordinate the rowers, the boat still moves but its not as efficient and the water will be more turbulent.

    Adrenal insufficiency due to exogenous steroids - the domestic factories shut down because the market is flooded with imported goods, once it's mothballed it's really hard to get local production going to meet demand again.

    m2t2hl Report

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    #60

    Regarding my struggles with talk therapy and my desire to move to a more intensive therapy (probably EMDR): “I can pull off all the leaves (coping skills) and spray all the roundup (meds), but the dandelion (symptoms) isn’t gonna stop coming back and spreading until I deal with the whole root (trauma).”

    chartmaster227 Report

    #61

    I teach heart blocks using a romantic couple:
    Normal sinus rhythm: they're newlyweds, and he (PR interval) comes home to her (qrs) same time after work every night
    2nd degree type 1: They've been married a few years, and he stops for a beer after work each night, staying out later and later until he doesn't come home one night. Then he's sorry, they make up, and it starts all over.
    2nd degree type 2: they're in counseling, so he makes an effort to come home at the same time every night but occasionally stays out all night randomly. Third degree: they're divorced and have no relation to each other. I swap who goes out for a beer each time I teach it so no one is always the villain lol.

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    CF
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is pretty good. I understand most of this stuff and I was really hoping I'd find some good memory refreshers or something mnemonic-like. This kne is the closest so far.

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    #62

    The v**ina is a self cleaning oven.
    Calling your vulva your v**ina is like calling your throat your face.
    The uterus is like a lightbulb - the cervix is the screw in portion of the light bulb. 💡

    yourfriendtheobgyn Report

    Kristina T
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surely, it's the other way round - calling your face your throat.

    #63

    My husband works on Pixis machines. 9 times out of 10, he explains to anyone unaware of what that is as a ‘vending machine for drugs’. I get a kick out of it every time. Especially because he phrases himself as a ‘legal drug dealer’ (Pharmacy technician).

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    Cheeky chicken
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a mug with this phrase on....fellow pharmacy tech x

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    #64

    As an RN I describe the diabetic damage of hyperglycemia as “the sugar crystals in your blood are sharp and cutting and that’s how it causes micro damage”…..it’s actually what happens. It def gets people's attention.

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    Fellfromthemoon
    Community Member
    6 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Not every kind of attention is good. I would immediately look for another doctor.

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    #65

    "I want you to think of your body as a large trash bag containing a series of smaller but really important trash bags."

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    #66

    (Not a doctor; but what one said when I was 2 stuck with me!)
    *my brother was born without his left ventricle - HLHS*
    “What would you want to do if your car was missing part of the engine? Try & fix it continuously? Or get a new engine?”
    (Norwood vs. Heart Transplant)
    He had a heart transplant 😊
    And now it’s encouraged for doctors to try & get people to do the Norwood so that they can keep coming back for repairs 💰
    Thanks Dr. Boucek, for keeping it real.

    monalisa_marye Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not sure if it's so much that the doctors are encouraging their pediatric patients to get the Norwood procedure so that they can make tons of $$$ as much as there probably just aren't enough suitable donor organs to go around. If your baby isn't going to survive long enough on the transplant list before a donor organ becomes available, I'd HOPE the doctor recommends the Norwood procedure.

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    #67

    L&D RN: It’s totally normal your babies hands and feet are kinda blue. In the womb they are a mermaid, swimming around and you help them deliver oxygen. After we cut the umbilical cord the babies heart has to start delivering oxygenated blood and it take a while for the end of the limbs to catch up.

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    #68

    Breast Sonographer- trying to position patient to scan left breast- (turn on your right side, put your left arm over your head) Do your best Rose from Titanic.

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    Lady Eowyn
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since I've neve seen Titanic, this would have no meaning to me.

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    #69

    When someone isn’t doing effective chest compressions, “Pound on their chest like they owe you child support.” Does the trick every time.

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    #70

    I’m a dentist and these are a couple phrases I use regularly:
    Wearing new dentures is like breaking in new shoes.
    A root canal is like looking into a tooth’s soul.

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    cerinamroth
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My tooth's soul is highly modest and doesn't enjoy people looking at it.

    #71

    Oh! And cardiac bypass takes a tiny little country road with a downed tree and builds a new interstate.

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    cerinamroth
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They paved paradise and put up a parking lot...

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    #72

    My spinal cord stimulator rep explained to me how over stimulation from the device works using ✨spirit fingers✨ to demonstrate. It was actually really useful.

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    #73

    I’m an electrologist (permanent hair removal specialist for both cosmetic and medical related hair removal)
    I explain that hairs growing in our body is like children in school (grades k-12) and the hairs showing above the surface of the skin are the 12th graders. Once the 12th graders graduate (shed from the body) they return to kindergarten and must work their way up to 12th grade again before we see them. They will repeat this cycle unless we “permanently” graduate them with electrolysis 🤪☠️

    pnw.electrology.audrey Report

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    #74

    I once described a patients congested lungs like a dirty pot, and his saline nebs like the soak that you need to get all the crud off of it.

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    #75

    In regards to hyponatremia: imagine if all of your cells are orbeez. orbeez stop absorbing water once they reach their limit. your cells don’t, instead they break apart like when you squish a full orbee.

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    #76

    “Veins are like children, they cooperate when they want.”

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    Bi.Felicia
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So veins are more like cats, they cooperate when they want.

    #77

    My psychiatrist described the placebo effect as: “What would you do if I told you not to think about the pink elephant in the room? You’re going to think about the elephant in the room.”

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    LB
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's... Not the placebo effect?

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    #78

    Primary Care here and so many people gloss over basic bodily needs like they’re optional: if you want to feel amazing like a little red Porsche, you have to act like you’re a little red Porsche. You can’t put in 3 liters of oil when it requires 5. You can’t put in cheap E-10 unleaded and expect performance. You have to air up the tires. Flush the transmission. Rev the engine on occasion. Otherwise you’re gonna drive the 88 beige Camry that just hums along forever.

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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd rather be the Camry that's solidly-built and lasts forever than be a finicky Porsche XD

    #79

    Orthostatic hypotension explain with water pressure and pipe size to my construciton patients🤷🏽‍♂️

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    #80

    The bladder is a muscle and takes a while to “warm up” (aka why men have trouble urinating overnight). Imaging asking your leg muscles to run a sprint at 2am vs 2pm.

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    Fellfromthemoon
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a woman and it would be really troublesome if I tried to urinate overnight. Or even for a few hours.

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    #81

    When replacing lots of K and we give some bonus mag. Pt: is my mag low? Well, no. But is it easy to eat a tub of peanut butter? No. You need jelly to help get it all down. Mag is the jelly.

    sofetch_gretchen Report

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