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Not everything in Australia is "upside down". Sure, their Christmas is in the summer and they might have a BBQ to celebrate it, but in some ways, they're just like us Northern Hemisphere folks. Our fascination with bad architecture, for example, is equally obsessive.
Turns out, the Irish, Belgians, and Dutch aren't the only ones shaming their native buildings on Instagram. There's an account called Ugly Melbourne Houses doing precisely the same on the other end of the world.
Taste is universal. I know. But ironically, it's what allows this online project to make fun of the houses it wants to. Here are some of them!
More info: Instagram
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Every Time I Try To Build A Custom Sims House
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Meaning totally hidden floors? Or just insanely high ceilings?
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Night Owl 4 years ago (edited)
Depending where you live, that much black roof can be a very bad idea. Black absorbs the heat from the sun much better than any other color
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
Not near as bad as some of the others I've seen so far but still very weird
RELATED:
#2
Amy's Winehouse
Al Cook 4 years ago (edited)
I actually really like that sculpture, it's just not right for THAT particular building.
Katie Lutesinger 4 years ago
It should really be part of a bar, I reckon. Indoors, as part of a balcony.
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Night Owl 4 years ago (edited)
Or a little pool. I love that idea! That would be perfect
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Jonathan 4 years ago
I'd understand if this was a Majestic Wine warehouse but residential? Awful.
Jack Evans 4 years ago
Looking through all these, it’s clear that there are no building regulations in Melbourne.
Ada Pikula 4 years ago
This is actually not in Melbourne. It's called Alturis. It's a restaurant and a wine bar in Friuli region, Italy, near Cividale
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Don't mind the glass, but it would have been nicer if there'd been some kind of shrubs underneath instead of pebbles. I know there's plants in Melbourne, I've been there, so that's no excuse.
Owiella Freddie 4 years ago (edited)
Replace the rocks with soil and plant some ivy and flowering vines, and this will be stunning!
Nicholas Reece, deputy lord mayor of Melbourne, thinks the city is actually Australia's most interesting settlement for architecture and design.
"Beginning with the good bones provided by the Hoddle Grid, Melbourne has added some amazing buildings over the decades," Reece wrote. "The city has also produced some brilliant home-grown local architects and has a distinctive design culture, without the overreliance on international 'starchitects' like Sydney."
#3
Perfectly Pitched For A Neighbourhood Near You
Chris Freeman 4 years ago
Most homes here are hideous, but have to say this one is gorgeous. It would have to be the right neighborhood, but I think its brilliant.
Bobbie Meyers 4 years ago
At least it's not a damn HOA telling you what you can and can't do with your own property.
Random Panda 4 years ago (edited)
I think it looks great :) I love the creativity that went into it.
#4
They Forgot The Plaster Lions
Jayne Kyra 4 years ago
When you use the Sims 4 Mansion Baron "Purchase 20 Columns" aspiration in real life.
DonS 4 years ago
Damn... reminds me of a house in a rich neighborhood where there was column everywhere, statut on the balconies, statues in the garden (looked like the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who), underground garage with gargoyles above the entry AND a fricking 3 story high statue of Poseidon ! The owner even got fined because he didn't like the colors of the sidewalk in front of his house and painted it black, hence the fines + paying for removing all that paint. Learned later it was owned by someone working in the Sopranos kind of waste management wink wink.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Omg please tell me this is not one of the Greek patriots houses! I feel embarrassed every time i see them! I'm also proud of being Greek but some people have the need to show it too much and even put flags outside their houses! This is tacky
#5
When A Friend Doesn't Invite You To Their House And You're Really Quite Relieved About It Actually
However, the deputy lord mayor thinks that Melbourne may have lost its touch in recent years. "[We have] too many towers that are nothing more than spreadsheets in the sky, delivering a profit for developers but leaving the city poorer because of bad design and low-quality materials."
"Too many buildings that are low-grade and bland when newly complete and destined to deteriorate into eyesores over time," Reece continued. "Tall towers that set out to be seen from afar but offer nothing to the pedestrians walking the streets of the city. Featureless glass boxes that could be in any city in the world, rather than a city with the character, style, and sophistication of Melbourne."
#6
How's Everyone's Week Been? Chaotic? Jumbled? Overly Complicated? Yep. Me Too
Amazon QT 4 years ago
Pick a facade, any facade… no you need to pick a facade, not all of them.
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Bobert Robertson 4 years ago
The only thing on my mind is the blinds must have some weird track to keep them in line with the cockeyed windows
K1tt3n 4 years ago
Omg I would hope so! That'd drive me insane otherwise!
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Mary Peace 4 years ago
Maybe they have tracks to guide them, so more like blinds thean curtains.
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Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Sorry, but I love crooked house architecture. These colors, not so much.
Mary Peace 4 years ago
Please don't judge me, but somehow I like it. Maybe that's becos my house is really normal on the outside, and a muddle inside.
Amazon QT 4 years ago
This would be ok of it was in the back where the homeowner would be the only person to see it.
Load More Replies... #7
Proudness Doesn't Even Begin To Describe How I'm Feeling After Receiving This Piece Of Moderne Arte Collage In My Inbox
Vicky Z 4 years ago (edited)
If there are no mushrooms around the house then it's not complete
Night Owl 4 years ago (edited)
and a pole with a triangular flag and some tortoises
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Luna Lovebug 4 years ago
I can just hear the sound that comes with the jump on the flag and the ending of the level.
Randy Klefbeck 4 years ago
Actually there are a few places like this around the older parts of Los Angeles CA U.S.A.
#8
Hang On. Wait... What?! Your Therapist And Your Massive Inflatable Santa Supplier Are The Same Person?!
Lunar Bicycle 4 years ago
Do you know how loud it must be around that house, to run all the fans to inflate those stupid things?!
He said the city started noticing its flaws and began drawing a line, saying it must do better. "BHP House on William Street and ICI House in East Melbourne are both over 50 years old. Yet they both still look elegant and modern. They are great examples of how good design holds up and continues to shine over time."
"Melbourne has long been famous for its beautiful shop fronts, especially along Collins and Bourke streets. We need to extend that experience to other quarters of the city," Reece explained.
#9
If Large Cars = Small-Membered Owners, What On Earth Does This Symbolise?
Jean-Daniel Mohier 4 years ago
Go to Paris, these things are everywhere on every balcony... Never understood why.
#10
Picasso's Lovechild
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
There are so few windows. Must be so dark inside if the back isn't all glass
Aahzmandus Pervect 4 years ago
I'm guessing the windows are lookin into the backyard. I don't know, I kind of like this house.
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Night Owl 4 years ago (edited)
or at least some bushes or something ... anything
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Brandy Grote 4 years ago
Looks like when the house from Poltergeist got sucked into ...wherever...
#11
Barbie's Dream House
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
this is cute. not the biggest pink fan but it works with the mid century vibe
Otter 4 years ago
I agree! It'd be more attractive with an aqua where the pink is, but that is "Mamie Eisenhower pink", which was huge in 1950s decorating. Because, yes, Mamie Eisenhower loved pink and started a trend.
Load More Replies... Liz the Wanderer 4 years ago
Yes. We see those big, angled corner windows in a lot of old military housing here.
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Fish Boden 4 years ago
This is awesome. Probably more awesome in a different colour but. It has some great features.
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! 4 years ago
I like it! It just needs a pink flamingo in the yard.
RatherLoopy 4 years ago
I really like this. As someone who grew up in the '50s in a cream-colored house with brown and coral (pink) accents, I think this pink looks sweet and friendly.
#12
Those Aren't Balconies, They’re Actually Hay Feeders For Giraffes
Robert T 4 years ago
Did Australia ever have a window tax? This is something you see on old houses in the UK, where they actually bricked up windows to reduce the amount of tax they had to pay. Or is it just the architect trying to make it less of a boring wall?
Carlota 4 years ago
It has to be the window tax thing, I see it all the time in the UK
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Ginny Swart 4 years ago
There aren't nay doors onto the balconies! an architectural mistake...
Brian Bennett 4 years ago
If they are just a design to jazz up the place why do they have floors?
Amazon QT 4 years ago
They don’t. That’s the trim that goes around the “fake” window facade.
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He believes that good design is even more critical now if Melbourne is to retain its reputation as a highly attractive and liveable city as it emerges from the COVID-19 pandemic. Reece is also happy that the challenges the city faces aren't too big to solve. At least not yet.
"Melbourne's planning processes are quicker and involve far less red tape compared to other big cities. This is an advantage we need to preserve. But we also need to acknowledge that we need to lift the general standard," he said. I wonder if he follows Ugly Melbourne Houses. Or the person running it...
#13
Colonel Pistachio’s Tudor Turrets Raise Up My Peppermint Helicopter Roller Disco Roundabout
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
I don’t mind this half as much as the macMansions and the neoclassical nightmares.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
If the base/1st floor was much wider, I would like this. But not as is.
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Johanna 4 years ago
Isn't it incredible that you can see every word of it in that picture?
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Luke Wright 4 years ago
We have these in flood plain area's in Canada. They're built to withstand flooding and other serious weather. All the living area is upstairs and the lower level can be sealed off. This however does not look water tight.
Brian Bennett 4 years ago
Never heard or seen them in Canada! Need to reinvent - A door in a watertight area?
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Ceredwyn Ealanta 4 years ago
We pretty much don't have those in Australia.
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Yvonda Marie Levings 4 years ago
This function of this type house is so when there is strong winds it wraps around the structure instead of wind tearing threw it The color sucks though
Mz Phit 4 years ago
I actually love the color! Lol to each their own I guess
Load More Replies... #14
Caravan Of Courage
A B C 4 years ago
"you're tearing down your house? Uhm, can i have your bathroom? No, not just the interior, the whole thing. Yes, including the walls."
Load More Replies... Djennie 4 years ago
I KNEW that I’d see something from my neighbourhood in this list. To be fair to caravan house, there are a lot more locally that are much worse.
Panda-riffic 4 years ago
As in, you get the pleasure of looking at this in person? Ooooooooh!
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#15
Animal Print Is A Neutral
Random Panda 4 years ago
This one looks fun! It's not something I'd do, but I like looking at it.
Rebekah Krause 4 years ago
I’ve been by this house many times in my past. This is in Rogers Park, Chicago, USA not Melbourne AU
#16
Life Is Just About Trying To Do The Very Best You Can Do With The Size Of Window That You Have
Amazon QT 4 years ago
Hilarious and also add a fake legal piece of paper at the top flapped over that won’t fit inside the file folder.
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GoddessOdd 4 years ago
I just realized the building behind is built in the same fashion, and what is that thing on the wall... the building number?
Amazon QT 4 years ago
It’s a graphic on the building. Probably a business.
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#17
It Looks Like A Shower
Frauke Knothe 4 years ago
Or the architect just made a first raw sketch, but the builder couldn't wait any longer.
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Mark Howell 4 years ago
Must be by the same deranged architect that designed Manchester (UK) arndale centre. As has been commented over the years by various media as the UK's largest outdoor toilet ;o))
Ernesto Q 4 years ago
The front courtyard wall goes all the way to property line, they could have windows floor to ceiling and no one walking by could see in. Maybe it's not a deep lot so owner told architect he wanted to use as much of the lot as law allowed while also having lots of privacy being right at the sidewalk.
Brian Bennett 4 years ago
Looks like palm trees are partially covered - and partially covering the only visible window!
#18
Cheeky Brick Butt Cheeks Wrapped In An Oh-So-Saucy Garter Belt Portico
Incitatus 4 years ago
I say $10 to the person who gets their butt tattooed in this manner.
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Suzy the observer 4 years ago
Take out the portico and the pointy thing on the roofline and you have Art Deco.
M O'Connell 4 years ago
There are a few similar looking 1930s homes near where I work.
Load More Replies... GoddessOdd 4 years ago
This looks like someone did a bad remodel on an art deco exterior. With the weird pointy thing, different paint and window treatments it would be really cute.
Thomas Ewing 4 years ago
Another one of those "can't be landscaped because the passer-by barf everywhere".
#19
Mary Poppins’ Lsd Dreamland Winky Wonky Summertime Lovin’ Peculiar Palazzo-A-Palooza
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
This looks like someone found an architectural salvage yard having a HUGE sale.
#20
That’s A Serious Sixpack
Rose the Cook 4 years ago
This one caused quite a fuss. Neighbours took up a petition to have it removed.
I’m A Black Cat 4 years ago
That's a replica of Michelangelo's David. Do people not know that? The caption reads as if it were a random statue with a sixpack. I agree it being a bit weird placing this in one's front yard, but would anybody also start a petition against the one in Florence?
F. H. 4 years ago (edited)
Because it's not a replica. It's a kitschy copy, probably originally made for a gym advertisment or something. Michelangelo's David does not have such a sixpack.
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Kimberly Banow 4 years ago
Honestly, are we really looking at the abs when we first see this statue?
GoddessOdd 4 years ago
It's true that its a copy of Michelangelo's David, but not a very good one.
Candia Lee 4 years ago
How is an exact copy not a very good one? Did you compare them? It looks perfect to me.
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Al Cook 4 years ago
Nothing like showing off a giant c**k and balls in your front yard every morning! Makes me think of Monty Pythons Life of Brian. And no, the owner of the house is not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!
#21
Intergalactic Evil Mammoth Boxy Square Bonnet Wearing Robot Worm Computer Mansion
#22
When It's Only Wednesday But Your Column Just Thinking 'Bout The Weekend
Incitatus 4 years ago
There's only room in the budget for so much, you know.
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Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Someone actually designed this mistake and had a construction firm build it.
Bernadette Jamieson 4 years ago
Umm a little dangerous, watch the column doesn’t come crashing down.
#23
Anyone Got An Id On This LEGO Set?
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
This would make a great Ronald McDonald house for families with sick kids.
Bernadette Jamieson 4 years ago
That’s exactly what I thought lego house. Now I have g House for my granddaughter and grandson.
#24
The Hills Have Eyes
Al Cook 4 years ago
That's A LOT of retaining work, wouldn't want to be in one of those in an earthquake!
Monika Lachova 4 years ago
reminds me this "masterpiece" in Bratislava: https://m.smedata.sk/api-media/media/image/sme/4/36/3659294/3659294_1200x.jpeg?rev=2
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Do architects make an attempt to envision what their designs will actually look like in 3D?
Brian Bennett 4 years ago
Nope! Not me! Never ! Is that a cemetery at the bottom? Methinks that is a bad OMEN!
Bettye McKee 4 years ago
That appears to be a complex of shipping containers converted into apartments.
#25
Your Dreams Are Like The Left Half Of This “Balcony”... Totally Pointless And Likely To Result In Horrific Injury If You Dwell On Them For Too Long
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Somebody ordered balcony railing for the wrong size balconies, and there wasn’t time to replace them. That has to be the reason. Has to be. Would be so much worse, though, if that was a door instead of a window looking out on the empty, floorless half. Small mercies.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Now that's just mean. Could have easily had a bigger balcony...
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
I've seen fire escapes with a larger sitting area. This is just stupid and wasteful.
Mary Peace 4 years ago
Someone will get drunk and try and climb out on that bit with no floor.
#26
All Roads Lead To Somewhere In South Australia
Katie Lutesinger 4 years ago
I assume this is where people go to make sacrificial offerings to Zeus.
Fester Sixonesixonethree 4 years ago
This temple needs a much taller architrave... what a proportional horror!
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Could we PUH-LEEZE stop dragging these folx into our time period? Have some taste!
#27
Melborgian "Trying To Take Your Underpants Off Without Taking Your Trousers Off First" Robot Moderne
lil_gremlin 4 years ago
Architect: So, how do you want your windows? Person: I dunno, just make 'em unique! Architect: I gotchu
#28
Everybody Who Lives Here Loves Maths
Al Cook 4 years ago
That appears to be a piece of cowling repurposed from a 747 engine. Interesting????
#29
I Think They Could've Squeezed Another One In
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
The columns seem to be in front of the windows, but it is because the house is seen from the side. They actually don't.
Load More Replies... Beans 4 years ago
It's the angle of the photo, it's actually not in front of the door
Load More Replies... Chris Freeman 4 years ago
HATE fake columns. If you want to do columns, (why?) at least have them hold up a large roof addition so they have a purpose. Same ugly garbage here.
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago (edited)
You would have to destroy a f*****g lot of European and American historical buildings. The Capitole. Saint Paul's cathedral. Versailles... And basically all of Italy.
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#30
Golden Graytime Jazzercise Spacesuit Jumpsuit Wangle Angle Window Panels A La Clipped Clop Shrubbery-Au-Go-Go
Al Cook 4 years ago
2nd Monty Python reference for this thread but I can't resist! "We are the knights who say ni, and we demand..... a shrubbery!"
Load More Replies... Fester Sixonesixonethree 4 years ago
Oh dear - looks like a deconstructed postmodern nun's habit...
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
That rectangle window looks so out of place. That runs my anxiety through the roof.
Mishte Tine 4 years ago
The only real problem here is that one window. It’s stark, but not offensive if the window was normal.
#31
Some Cardboard Boxes On A Rocky Outcrop
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
The entrance looks like a face with the nose directly between the eyes and a wide open mouth wait to gobble you up inside. No thanks
Bobert Robertson 4 years ago
Why does this look like all the government buildings where I live?
#32
How's Everyone's Week Been? Inexplicably Complicated? Full Of Giant Setbacks? Lacking Any Real Over-Arching Logical Thematic Or Stylistic Aesthetic Direction? Yeh Mine Too
Gelato Cat 4 years ago
I live in Melbourne these are everywhere! The keep nocking down 18th century houses to make fugly duplexes like this
Beans 4 years ago
Same in Perth. They keep knocking down charming brick houses in favour of generic white and grey render houses with fake lawn that resemble libraries and University looking things. And they are subdivisions everywhere and concrete apts. It irks me to no end.
Load More Replies... #33
Wizard's Spaceship Marina Rocket Discoteque Pants Hot Tub Balcony Time Machine Post Moderne
Seabeast 4 years ago
Same. I think I'd repaint it a different colour, but the design isn't bad.
Load More Replies... #34
Are Your Friends Hassling You To Have A Big One Tonight? But You’re Feeling A Little Too Dilapidated Castle... Why Not Stay In And Relax. You’ll Feel A Lot Less Overgrown And Smelling Like Something Died Inside You Tomorrow Morning
Eva Bryson 4 years ago
What's with all the graffiti on the houses? Doesn't someone clean this off?
lil_gremlin 4 years ago
Architect: Ok, so how do you want your house to look? Person: Like a Middle Ages murder castle. Architect: i gotchu
#35
A Short Time Ago, In A Suburb Not That Far Far Away
#36
Exactly The Correct Amount Of Quite A Lot Of Garages
#37
Don’t Forget People... You’ve Only Got Til June 30 To Make Your Home Giraffe Ready
Tee Witt 4 years ago
I do not know, but it definitely is falling down. Look at those bricks
Load More Replies... Donna Beach 4 years ago
You seriously made this post with your comments. Too funny!
Load More Replies... Fester Sixonesixonethree 4 years ago
The lack of taste in all that ironwork lets bugalers know "there's nothing of worth to steal here."
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
Never mind the giraffe, the fence is desperately trying to steal the show
Mishte Tine 4 years ago (edited)
It’s whimsical! The windows need white framing/borders.I don’t know the formal name for structural molding around windows, but it needs it to bring the look together.
#38
Incomplete Spacestationist Moderne
#39
In N' Out Under Over-Deconstructionism-Ness
#40
Cloudsome
#41
Mix N' Match Tiny Hamptons Picnic Time Active Wear Tracksuit Pants Moderne
#42
Nice Hat Dude
#43
Sometimes The Biggest Risks We Take Are Those We Take With Our Hearts. Our Canopies. And All Those Other Bits. Everywhere
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
How do people in Melbourne get planning permission for s**t like this?
#44
Stay Strong Old Fella... That Concrete Panel Wall Is Probably More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Him
Tonya Wallace 4 years ago
I just want to scoop the house up and bring it home with me. I'll take care of you sweet little house.
Amber Roberts 4 years ago
This looks like the house on Big City Greens. I only know this because my children watch it...yes the children...not me. Okay so maybe I like to watch it :P
#45
Robot Winter Is Coming
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
Yes! Thank you! I was wondering what it reminded me of.
Load More Replies... #46
The Correct Amount Of Massively Over-Scaled Balcony Addition
NOLAHusker 4 years ago
Should have done two levels on that exterior addition. Would have looked right and been very awesome for a party.
#47
High Tight Brick Pants
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
Let me out of here. I'm claustrophobic DAMNIT... lights! I need windows
#48
Something Something Windows
#49
1980s Beige Tubular Trouser Slacks Columns Giraffe Compliant Accounting Conference Centre Post Moderne
M O'Connell 4 years ago
It really does look like one of the entrances to my local mall, circa 1990.
#50
In Life, Most Things Are Half As Good As You Think They’ll Be 50% Of The Time
Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
To be fair, it's a bastard of a lot, they were never going to make something both wonderful and workable.
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
BFF HOUSE. When the necklaces, charms and bracelets just aren't enough. You get half and they get half of the house
#51
And On The Eighth Day, The Awlmitey Created Faux Neo Baroque Open Roller Disco Porticos
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
Looks more like a museum than a house. That's the vibes I'm getting anyway
#52
This House Never Skips Column Day
Lovin' Life 4 years ago
Looks like they forgot the supporting beam and made use of what they had.
#53
The Correct Amount Of Miniature Grand Ceremonial Arch
Robert T 4 years ago
Wonder if they originally painted the arch yellow and had to change it as people kept coming and trying to order a Big Mac and fries. LOL
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#54
Dude... You’re Looking Really Tired
#55
Nuthin Ron With This
Dorothy Parker 4 years ago
The client is colorblind and signed off, not realizing his contractor signed his work.
#56
When Your Dating Profile Said “Homely”, I Didn’t Think It Would Actually Mean “Massive, Vacant, And Covered In Tatts”
Caro Caro 4 years ago
You can fix this up to be beautiful. The potential ... Was this an old school?
Caro Caro 4 years ago (edited)
# 47: SAME building: Are Your Friends Hassling You To Have A Big One Tonight? But You’re Feeling A Little Too Dilapidated Castle... Why Not Stay In And Relax. You’ll Feel A Lot Less Overgrown And Smelling Like Something Died Inside You Tomorrow Morning
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#57
It Helps Steer The Eye Away From The 50's Kitchen Table Laminate Facade
Katie Lutesinger 4 years ago
Quite possibly while under the influence of something.
Load More Replies... Robert T 4 years ago (edited)
This is a puzzle. Which came first the house or the poles? And how come one of them is sawn off halfway down? The pole clearly can't serve a useful purpose any more. It's looking like one of those legal stalemates where neither the home owner nor the utility company will budge. Either that or the owner has a pole fetish and a half!
M O'Connell 4 years ago
It quite seriously looks like those poles were intended as a decorative element. Very strange.
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#58
Look At You Four. All Dressed Identically. You Can’t Go Out Like That
Mishte Tine 4 years ago
So many of these have their blinds on the outside. I’ve never seen that.
#59
How’s Everyone’s Week Been? Exciting With Lots Of Variety? Or Just Pretty Much Exactly The Same With Very Slight Shades Of Difference
#60
Maison De La Razor Sharp Deep Space Accountant’s Lunchtime Workout Shellsuit Tracksuit Jumpsuit Pants Suit A La Angles De La Bangles
Mishte Tine 4 years ago
Everything but the front door works for me. It’s cohesive and well thought out.
#61
Wonky De-Chopped Sandwiched Double Setbacked Hard Drive Second Hand Business Suit Robot Moderne
#62
Giants Also Need Homes
#63
Adidas Tracksuit Pants Moderne
#64
Business In The Front, Party In The Back
Al Cook 4 years ago
A lot of homes in Australia are built with a facade on the frontage and then plain brick on the remaining aspects.
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
This used to be common in the UK. The posh facade faced the street and the rest was plain and utilitarian
Mishte Tine 4 years ago (edited)
No, party’s in the front. Why not at least paint the back white?
#65
The Empire Sets Back
Beans 4 years ago
This is what's happening in my suburb. people knocking older nicer houses to build things that look like libraries or art galleries. Makes me sad and it's super wasteful and screams entitlement. Bricks are great and last so long and a lot of old houses were built so be well and just need some TLC To knock it down to get a modern look with cheap and nasty materials when you have a perfectly good house is nuts
#66
When You Really Need A Haircut After Lockdown
#67
Heritage Hard Drive Moderne
#68
Aqua Marina Moque Tudor Wizard
Random Panda 4 years ago (edited)
The tower might be a bit much, but I like the vibe either way.
Mishte Tine 4 years ago
Blinds open, might feel exposed to folks outside. Blinds closed, what’s the point?
#69
Maison De La Triple Ripple Elongated Bo Beep Mansard Fairy Prairy Princess A La Lovingly Tended White Rose Promendade
Random Panda 4 years ago
This would look a bit better if the three arches were huge windows, from ground to roof.
#70
Knit My Bricks Up
#71
I Can Pretty Much Do This Job With My Hands Behind My Back
Michael Barry 4 years ago
"We are the muses. Goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes." "Heroes like Hercules!" "Honey, you mean HUNK-ules! Ooh, I'd like to make sweet music with--"
Fester Sixonesixonethree 4 years ago
Classical elements out of place do not make something classy.
#72
You Know When You Try And Assemble Something From A Box And You Always End Up With A Bit Of Some Type Of Roof Left Over At The End And You’re All Like "Hope That Wasn’t Important”
#73
Facade Du La Kit Kat
SumoNinja 4 years ago
Agreed, it has a nice 70s feel to it, and if it is actually that old then it is very well maintained. Only thing I would change is the windows around the door because they kind of seem out of place.
Load More Replies... Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
Not "du la". It is "du" for male words and "de la" for female words.
#74
Seamlessness-Ness
#75
Exactly Correctly The Precise Amount Of Just A Bit Too Much Of Not Enough Of The Least Amount Of What Was Required... There
#76
2021 Is Gonna Be All About Making Things That Look Like They Shouldn't Be That Complicated Look Slightly More Complicated Than Less Complicated Versions Of A Far More Complicated Version Of Their Most Complicated Self
#77
Wavy Flagstone Spaceship Accountancy Surfshop Conference Centre Moderne
#78
Like A Putrid Chocolate Milkshake
Gelato Cat 4 years ago
Omfg I used to walk past that house alllll the time!!! In seddon I'm pretty sure ( for those who know wth I'm talking abt)
#79
Are You Struggling To Go Beyond One Word Descriptors For Fugly Houses You Encounter?
Al Cook 4 years ago
I don't think this will be ugly when it's finished, but I'm guessing it's in a suburb with a lot of older "character" houses, and a grouchy neighbour doesn't like the contemporary style of it.
Ellie Rosser 4 years ago
It will be bland and expensive, I'd honestly rather have fugly. (And if it is in a neighborhood of character houses then ti should not be built like this!)
Load More Replies... #80
The Best Amount Of Arches
Suzy the observer 4 years ago
If the railing matched the fence it would be a vast improvement.
#81
Life Can Sometimes Feel Like You Are Dragging Yourself Up A Hill Sideways Wearing A Heavily Monotoned Concrete Render Suit Weighed Down By A Massively Oversized Entry Portico
Mishte Tine 4 years ago
Hope the area isn’t prone to mudslides. This will look okay with finished landscaping.
Gerard Neaux 4 years ago (edited)
I laughed with tears at this title, which finds this building so relatable
#82
We All Need A Friend Who's Always There To Temporarily Support Your Facade
Lovin' Life 4 years ago (edited)
Just not a fan of the two toned brick or the poles holding up the facade
#83
Just Because It Looks Like A Giraffe Doesn’t Mean It Has
#84
Kaptain Kraft Shingles Triple Stacked Soft Buttery Pastel Cheesecake Massive Garage Mcmoderne With A Side Of Unfinished Landscape Dressings
AndThenICommented 4 years ago
It’s not and clearly still under construction
Load More Replies... Mishte Tine 4 years ago
Again, it’s not finished. What looks bad is the lack of a driveway and landscaping.
#85
The Absolute Bare Minimum Amount Of Quite A Lot Of House
#86
Gold Coast House Of The Year
Candia Lee 4 years ago
C'mon! Give them credit for that vertical patch of lawn.
Load More Replies... #87
My Mate Dave Has A Tyreless-Less Devotion To His Front Garden
Joe Reaves 4 years ago
Recycling is always good. The issue is the bare ground. It needs something - decking, paving (although that's bad for drainage), fake grass, anything
SumoNinja 4 years ago
Small rock/large gravel would work for both aesthetics and drainage. pain to maintain though, especially if you have trees that shed their leaves
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Mishte Tine 4 years ago
Are all the outdoor shades controlled from the inside? They must be. Are they for storm protection? Security? Because indoor blinds are a thing. I’ve never seen these and they seem to be a standard window treatment. I’m curious.
#88
Name A More Iconic Intergalactic Retro Bricky Orangey Deep Fried Space Duo, We'll Wait
SumoNinja 4 years ago
You hope. We don't know how far back that brick structure goes...
Load More Replies... #89
A Prickly Situation Waiting To Happen
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What do you think ?
Aahzmandus Pervect 4 years ago
That's just what I was going to write! The only thing worse than some of these houses are all the cringeworthy captions above the photos.
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Random Panda 4 years ago (edited)
Ok, there are a lot ugly houses here, I admit. But quite a few on the list are interesting, why do people hate creativity so much? And whoever made the list seems to have something against modern architecture in particular.
Tim Pillinger 4 years ago
There were a fair few horrible faux regency and Tudorbeathan ones
Load More Replies... Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
Some of those houses were totally fine, and some even looked good. OP clearly is columnoporticophobic.
Wandaluzt 4 years ago
Ryan, there isn't just one OP. They are copied from Instagram, some from years back.
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Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 4 years ago
What's with all of the captions having nothing to do with the houses and sounding more like a SEO metatag than a useful description?
Wandaluzt 4 years ago
Daniel they are copied from Instagram. The titles are literally just a piss take of the houses. Bored Panda scrape content as they find it and paste it straight on to this site to make some money from it. Try clicking on the links under the pictures and it may all make sense.
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lara 4 years ago
I, for one, think that, though I am "repelled" by some of these houses, there is a lot of imagination and determination being shown by these home owners. If you live in "cookie cutter" neighborhoods you are being "restricted" by someone else's idea of what your home should look like. Kudos to those who live outside the box.
KombatBunni 4 years ago
What in the hippety-skippin’ hellfire did I just see? Mind boggling bad taste-arama on steroids? 😮
Kenny Kulbiski 4 years ago
I actually liked about half of them. The rest were kinda "meh" rather than ugly. But then I've never been accused of having good taste.
Aahzmandus Pervect 4 years ago
That's just what I was going to write! The only thing worse than some of these houses are all the cringeworthy captions above the photos.
Load More Replies... Random Panda 4 years ago (edited)
Ok, there are a lot ugly houses here, I admit. But quite a few on the list are interesting, why do people hate creativity so much? And whoever made the list seems to have something against modern architecture in particular.
Tim Pillinger 4 years ago
There were a fair few horrible faux regency and Tudorbeathan ones
Load More Replies... Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
Some of those houses were totally fine, and some even looked good. OP clearly is columnoporticophobic.
Wandaluzt 4 years ago
Ryan, there isn't just one OP. They are copied from Instagram, some from years back.
Load More Replies... Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 4 years ago
What's with all of the captions having nothing to do with the houses and sounding more like a SEO metatag than a useful description?
Wandaluzt 4 years ago
Daniel they are copied from Instagram. The titles are literally just a piss take of the houses. Bored Panda scrape content as they find it and paste it straight on to this site to make some money from it. Try clicking on the links under the pictures and it may all make sense.
Load More Replies... lara 4 years ago
I, for one, think that, though I am "repelled" by some of these houses, there is a lot of imagination and determination being shown by these home owners. If you live in "cookie cutter" neighborhoods you are being "restricted" by someone else's idea of what your home should look like. Kudos to those who live outside the box.
KombatBunni 4 years ago
What in the hippety-skippin’ hellfire did I just see? Mind boggling bad taste-arama on steroids? 😮
Kenny Kulbiski 4 years ago
I actually liked about half of them. The rest were kinda "meh" rather than ugly. But then I've never been accused of having good taste.
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