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45 Stories Of Friendships And Relationships That Fell Apart In The Most Heartbreaking Ways
Ending any relationship is never simple. Whether it’s a long-time partner or that ride-or-die friend from childhood, the unraveling can feel like watching a slow-motion train wreck: messy, emotional, and way too real. Still, there are moments when someone pushes the boundary one too many times, and suddenly walking away feels less like a choice and more like survival.
Recently, someone online opened the floodgates and asked people to share the exact moment their relationships finally snapped. What followed was a whirlwind of quiet betrayals, bold-faced lies, shocking behavior, and a few stories that read like scenes from a drama series. Keep reading, because if any of these red flags start popping up in your life, it might be time to pay attention.
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#1
Girlfriend told me my anxiety attack wasn’t attractive. I was just telling her about my day.
She was the ex-girlfriend about 5 seconds later.
Alexia 1 day ago
That's how I lost a friendship. I was telling my friend about my struggles with anxiety and panic attacks. She replied "You're never gonna get a better job or move away like you said you wished to. If you really wanted it, you would have done it by now". It felt like a punch in my stomach.
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#2
He invited me to the pub, when we got there told me he had no money. I'd often sub him some cash but at that point I realized that I'd gone from friend to free money in his eyes.
I bought a drink for me and got a water for him.
#3
She cheated on me and then didnt disclose that not only she cheated but that she was HIV positive.
Roni Stone 6 days ago
Yes, according to where you live, she can be (and should be) prosecuted. Good luck to you and glad you lost that bag of trash.
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 5 days ago (edited)
So she’s going around infecting people ho hum ,that’s classed as attempted m****r !! Ligit is 100%evil inhuman twisted s k a n k ,there a place in purgatory for her !! Op I hope you didn’t get it 💔
We’ve all heard how emotionally brutal a romantic breakup can be, but living through it is a whole different storm. Imagine spending years planning a future with someone, your home, your vacations, your someday-kids, only to realize it’s all slipping through your fingers. And no matter how strong you are, there’s a moment when you sit back and ask yourself how things unraveled so quickly. Breakups don’t just end relationships, they end versions of ourselves we imagined would last forever. That emotional whiplash? Completely human. Completely overwhelming. Completely real.
Research shows that constant arguments are one of the biggest culprits behind breakups, and honestly, it makes sense. When every conversation feels like a match dropped onto a pile of dry leaves, even love starts to feel exhausting. What begins as tiny disagreements turns into full-blown chaos, the kind where you can’t even remember what you were originally arguing about. Emotional fatigue sets in, and suddenly, peace feels more precious than partnership. You start craving quiet over connection, calm over company. And at some point, even the strongest couples realize that living in fight-mode forever just isn’t sustainable.
#4
Friend - got weirdly jealous about me dating a girl. He claimed he had "dibs" because he talked to her first. No I'm not kidding. She didn't have any feelings for him and just assumed they were friends. He told me I should dump her and go back to my ex...20yrs & 2 kids later I'm still with that girl and I haven't heard from him at all.
Janet Sparrow 6 days ago
Right on this platform, I saw a man tell his girlfriend they’re having a pelvic exam was cheating because it was like sanctioned s****l a***e. The girl was like “what?”
Crystalwitch60 5 days ago
🤦♀️the world is doomed with men like that isn’t it eek
Load More Replies... #5
His alcoholism got so bad that he was no longer the guy I fell in love with.
Huddo's sister 5 days ago
My stepdad and his first wife were both hippies that used dope regularly. After they had kids, he quit smoking but she wouldn't and he just couldn't handle her anymore so he left. She still smokes daily and is incredibly unwell.
#6
I told him face to face that my dad had just [passed]. he said nothing about it, not even an acknowledgement of the news or an “i’m sorry to hear that” and immediately started complaining to me about some petty personal drama that he had. i was in shock, i didn’t expect him to do any serious emotional labor for me, but to take in that news and immediately demand emotional labor FROM me was insane.
then i realized this was a major theme of our dynamic, where he was constantly in crisis and constantly needing me to help him pick up the pieces. he only ever reached out if he wanted me to play therapist for him. i slowly faded out of that friendship and feel a lot better now.
Birgit M 1 week ago
I had a friend like that too. Everything had to revolve around her and her problems, and I had to be there for her day and night. She never asked how I was doing. When I told her one day that I was seeing a psychologist because I had quite a few problems myself, she said, ‘Oh cool! What would he say about my problems?’
Ripley 1 week ago
I hope you said "nothing, because he doesn't know you exist".
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 5 days ago
There was a member of my group of uni friends like that. The last straw came when we went out for dinner and she basically shut down any conversation about the children of two of the group, because she couldn't relate to them so didn't want to hear it. Then she spent ages talking about the hassles she was having with the house she was getting built, wouldn't let us make any positive comments about it, always brought up the bad things. Then as an added snub she said 'people in single parent families were selfish because all kids need two parents' while knowing that I was starting the process of IVF as a single person. The rest of us dropped her as a friend right after that.
Unfaithfulness is another heartbreak that shatters relationships beyond repair, and the emotional fallout can feel like getting the wind knocked out of you. It’s not just the betrayal, it’s the sudden collapse of trust, routines, and the belief that you were both on the same team. Add in a lack of respect, and things crumble even faster. Disrespect shows up in tiny moments: snide comments, dismissive replies, jokes that sting a little too deeply. When love is still there but respect has walked out the door, the relationship starts feeling like a house with a cracked foundation. Eventually, something gives. And usually, it’s the person who has finally had enough.
#7
He got into my email account this morning and canceled my job interview with a recruiter on the Oncology unit of a hospital because he was insecure after finding out a local heavy metal musician worked on the unit as an RN.
Crystalwitch60 5 days ago
Fraud for a start , never give your log in details to anyone ,even a trusted partner can turn on you , op I really hope it was sorted out n you still had the interview,and got the job , oh n made him your ex fast x
moggiemoo 4 days ago
I don't think the logging in and cancelling of an interview is the problem, it's w*f does the rest of it mean?
Load More Replies... #8
Ended a 10 year relationship when I found out my Ex was bad mouthing me behind my back to mutual friends of ours. We had been having serious issues for some time due to her mental health and her lack of desire to stay on top of it.
When I found out she had been [trash] talking me, I realized that I was doing absolutely everything in the relationship. Working 50-60 hours per week, coming home and cleaning, cooking dinner, doing laundry, being her entire support network, fixing her car, finding date ideas, paying all the bills, etc. I also realized my life would be significantly easier if I only had to do all of that stuff for myself and didn't have to concern myself with her feelings, emotions, energy of the given day. So I set the record straight with the mutual friends that I actually care about and kicked her and the rest of the lot to the curb.
It's a shame that it didn't work out, and it was pretty heartbreaking in the interim, but I'm much happier now and with someone new who is much more on my wavelength.
#9
Engagement, roughly 7 years. She’d had it rough, with a very mentally ill mother and an unsupportive (also mentally ill) family.
I urged her, many times, to get counselling before marriage and kids. She was 100% avoidant, yet things were already spilling over.
One day she came home and said “yeah, I talked to a therapist and she told me you’re clearly the problem.”
People say opposites attract, and sometimes that’s true, but sometimes opposites crash and burn spectacularly. Different interests can be fun at first, until the novelty wears off and partners realize they’re living in two different worlds. When one person loves hiking, and the other won’t even walk to the mailbox, tensions start building. And when partners stop showing interest in each other’s passions, the distance grows wider. Suddenly, weekends feel separate, conversations feel forced, and the spark that once felt effortless now needs effort just to exist. Compatibility may not be glamorous, but wow, does it matter.
Money problems might not sound romantic, but they can shake a relationship harder than any love-triangle plot twist. From unpaid bills to mismatched spending habits, financial stress has a sneaky way of creeping into every corner of daily life. One partner might be saving every penny while the other spends like they’re starring in their own luxury commercial. Before you know it, arguments revolve less around love and more around receipts. And when financial tension becomes a constant background noise, even the strongest couples can struggle to stay on the same page.
#10
He was unemployed for months and playing video games all day every day. I would come home from work and he would be in the exact same spot on the couch as when I left.
The last straw was when we were in Bed Bath and Beyond and he said he wanted to get black out curtains for the living room. When I asked why he said he needed them to get rid of the glare on the TV during the day. I was completely done after that. I asked him if he was ever planning to go to work again and he called me a [jerk]. That was the end.
#11
It was a one-way friendship the whole time. Borrowing money, driving to his place to hang out when he always asked, never came to visit mine when I made it clear I had always been the one to go to his place. It culminated in being told I had to wait around while the group was at dinner when I had drove 3 hours to meet up with him. He knew I was coming, knew there was a dinner appointment and didn't think to ask or include me in the reservations.
I turned around and drove back home and that was that.
#12
After 3.5 years I realized she would never love me as much as I loved her. In our time together she dropped out of college, quit her job, and slowly became an alcoholic. I tried to help her. Her mom & I even staged an intervention with other family members and some friends, but she ran off.
I stayed and fought for her for so long because I had never had a connection with anyone else like I did with her. I was madly in love. WE were madly in love...but unfortunately, nothing seemed to help.
And then she cheated on me....upon finding out, I drove straight to my parents' house and collapsed in my mother's arms while crying. It all hit me at once that the last 3.5 years of my life had all been for nothing. It hurt.
So, I left.
Months later, her mom called me to inform me that she had received a DUI after hitting a parked car. Then she cried and told me I was the best man her daughter had ever dated, and that they miss me dearly, but they understand why I have to stay away. It was therapeutic.
To this day I miss her like crazy, and that was 8 years ago. But, I know I can never go back, and have been rooting for her from afar.
Melissa Harris 6 days ago
Hopefully this dude went to therapy to figure out why he's so attracted to an unstable personality.
Janet Sparrow 6 days ago
Taylor Swift has a lyric that goes “ had a bad habit Of missing lovers past My brother used to call it 'Eating out of the trash'
A study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that going through a breakup can significantly heighten emotional stress and lower overall satisfaction with life. And honestly, you feel it, those quiet evenings that suddenly feel too quiet, the routines that no longer have someone in them. But it’s not just romantic breakups that hurt. Friendship breakups can sting just as deeply, sometimes even more. Losing someone who knows your stories, your secrets, your inside jokes, that’s its own kind of grief. Relationships shape our emotional landscape, and when they collapse, the shockwaves spread far beyond the moment they end. No wonder it takes time to feel like yourself again.
#13
I lost a childhood friend over chronic lying. Over the years, more and more of our mutual friends stopped putting up with it until it was just me. He was the type where calling him out was useless because he would keep arguing even if evidence of his lie was infront of him.
It's sad because he was a fun guy, but obviously had very low self esteem. Lies ranged from fake jobs (literally worked at Blizzard and owned a bakery at the same time), fake girlfriends (hot gamer girl, didn't like going out, didn't mind that he lived with parents, never met his friends), and super cars that were always in the shop (only ever saw his beat up old Camry). For the longest time, the lies were a small part of our relationship, but it just kept getting worse, and I was forced to question literally everything he said no matter how small.
The straw that broke the camels back - the lies started to get to his head, and he started having a superiority complex over me. We were sitting have lunch and he was talking down to me and I just realized in that moment I couldn't deal with it anymore. I told him to stop bullshitting me, and that i needed to go. That was the last time we talked.
Part of him believed the lies. In his mind he was this successful Ferrari driving business man with a hot wife and second job at Blizzard (just for fun). Why would that person want to hang out with boring old me who was single, working a retail job, and drove an old mustang? It's almost like the dissonance bothered him, but his resolution was to burn the bridge?
#14
He tried to sleep with every girlfriend I had.
He even tried to sleep with my ex wife as we separated.
Paul C 1 week ago
This doesn't make sense - surely you cut someone out the first time that happens? Not allow it to go on and on. Unless every means only, who then became wife and then ex-wife?
Zoe Vokes 6 days ago
Maybe OP only had a few girlfriends. If he did it a couple of times in high school then OP might have excused his behaviour as being a selfish young idiot who grew out of it. Then OP was with his ex wife for years so his friend didn’t try anything. Only after OP and ex broke up did he realise that friend hadn’t matured out of that behaviour like he assumed
Load More Replies... Shelley Colleen 4 days ago
Samesies (except I'm a girl). Every. Single. One. He succeeded with about 75% of them so now I have a whole new group of friends.
Crystalwitch60 5 days ago
Bro code rule NO 1 NEVER SLEEP WITH YOUR MATES WOMEN , AND SAME GOES FOR GIRL CODE TO !
#15
Friendship. He kept borrowing stuff that he wouldn't return. I always had to ask for my stuff back until i decided it was time to move on. He still hasn't returned a toolbox that he borrowed 3 months ago and honestly i don't bother anymore, he can keep it as long as he doesn't ask me for anything else. I bought a new toolbox.
Kaitlin Flannery, an associate professor in psychology, puts it beautifully: Friends shape who we are. They’re the people who mirror our growth, challenge our fears, and hype us up when life feels impossible. There’s a softness in friendships that’s different from romance, less pressure, more belonging. And because of that, losing a friend can feel like losing a version of yourself. They’re the ones you call with good news, bad news, and the “you’re not gonna believe what just happened” news. When that connection fractures, something inside you goes a little quiet. That’s why friendship endings hit with such surprising force.
#16
Relationship: I was teaching my child about poetry and reciting my favorite poem, remembering how once upon a time I wrote poetry all the time and how much it moves me. He said, “poetry is lame and all poets are [jerks].” After so many years of ups and downs and attempts to make it work - this was the nail in the coffin. Because I realized he had zero interest in understanding me better, supporting my interests, respecting me, respecting the sanctity of teaching my children. It’s funny how the last straw can be the little thing when the bigger things should have been the end of it. The things love makes us tolerate….
#17
Politics. I had a friend in the military. He knew I tended liberal and I knew he tended conservative. But he fell down the MAGA hole. He wasn't capable of hearing any dissenting thoughts and eventually the only time he ever even tried to talk to me was to insult me. So I cut him off.
Steff 5 days ago
I'm no Maga...but I've found it can be equally frustrating to talk to leftists if you don't wholeheartedly agree. Extremism is the real issue and it exists throughout the political spectrum.
Zig Zag Wanderer 4 days ago
And social media encourages the division, just to keep people scrolling and selling advertising.
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Crystalwitch60 5 days ago
Yup maggots gonna maggot !! (Magas ) it’s nothing more than a vile cult ,people are feeding in to , n believing ( like religion!)
Lauren K 6 days ago
I think you need a bit more education about how liberals behave, and how MAGA behaves. Dear leader of the MAGA cult can’t even speak without insulting someone or name call.
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#18
When I screamed at my toddler for no real reason, other than his dad was a piece of [trash]. Made me realize that I didn't want him growing up thinking that his parents' relationship was normal and he would treat future partners that way. We separated a month later. Been 12 years since then and I haven't regretted it for a second.
Crystalwitch60 5 days ago
You poor poor child ,🤬glad you got out tho but screaming at him was bang outta order !
“We’re social creatures. We want acceptance,” Flannery explains, and she’s right. Friendships give us validation, companionship, and the laugh-until-you-cry moments that get us through life. They’re emotional pit stops, safe zones, and joy generators all in one. When a friendship is healthy, it feels like home. But when things start slipping, when trust cracks or support fades, the loss echoes deeply. No wonder people struggle to let go, even long after the connection stops feeling right.
#19
My best friend for 30 years and wife for 10. She was my literally everything. She over the last 3 years stopped wanting to spend time with me, show affection, even something as simple as go out for dinner. After I begged her to make an effort because I was beyond lonely, she did nothing, same old thing as before. I asked for counseling, she refused. I moved out of our room and started to sleep in my office, still nothing. She made no effort.
Eventually I just broke, and told her I wanted a divorce. It broke me in more ways I could ever explain.
I ended up finding a new girlfriend that treats me amazing, she has a new boyfriend, but every day I wonder how 30 years in each others lives and I wasn't worth the effort or even one session of counseling.
Child of the Stars 6 days ago
How many stories do we hear about women who have tried communicating their unhappiness and desire for counseling, get brushed off, then ask for a divorce "out of nowhere"? I can't help but wonder if that's what happened here.
Load More Replies... Melissa Harris 6 days ago
No one should be another persons "everything." That's a recipe for emotional burn out and after 30 years she was probably just done trying.
#20
I did.
Instead of being a partner showing up with a hundred percent.
I was a broken person that looked to her to fix me.
Instead of listening, when she said she was overwhelmed, I thought it's just a little bit more.It shouldn't be too much to deal with.
Instead of being her source of escape and the thing she looked forward to at the end of the day.
I was just another mouth to feed and person to take from her already empty cup.
I did so many things I wish I could undo.
And now i've lost her. She will do good. She's an amazing person.
And I will continue to build and fix the broken parts of me.
Even after I repair myself. I doubt she'll want me back. I wasn't the person she needed when she needed it most. For that I will forever be in pain for hurting the person that I love that loved the most.
Crystalwitch60 5 days ago
💔💔you saw it ,in yourself , op I felt all your pain in your post (empath ) I hope you are doing better now x
#21
Friendships and it was me. I was drunk basically everyday for a long while. I lost all my friends except one. They had an intervention with me but I still kept drinking for almost 2 years after that. I been clean for about 3 years now but I lost those friendships.
Roni Stone 6 days ago
Congratulations on your sobriety. It is a difficult road, but worthwhile. You will make new relationships to fill in the gaps of your loss, but, yeah, it's difficult on those around an alcoholic. Now is the time to focus on your own strength, and treat yourself gently.
Norfolk and good 6 days ago
Time to get on with step 9 (assuming they've done steps 1-8 first). Make direct amends to such people, whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Friendships often end the moment trust is broken, and sometimes it happens in one sharp, unforgettable instant. Maybe it’s a secret spilled, a promise ignored, or a moment where someone should’ve had your back but didn’t. Trust is the backbone of every close connection, and once it snaps, everything else starts wobbling. Even if apologies come later, something feels… different. You stop sharing as much. You stop reaching out as quickly. You start protecting parts of yourself you once offered freely. And slowly, quietly, the friendship fades into something that feels more like duty than comfort.
#22
I had this friend who stayed insanely stuck in the past and would constantly dredge up traumas from many years ago, expecting me to play therapist. I felt for her, but it was a LOT.
I finally lost all patience when she came over for Christmas and spent literally the entire day talking about the breakdown of her marriage 15+ years prior. Like girl It's CHRISTMAS. Eat your turkey and [shut up] about your ex husband.
She's done worse, but the absurdity of it was my breaking point.
Crystalwitch60 5 days ago
I hate to say this but,but it’s not a case of her staying stuck in the past , it’s the past refusing to let go of the person , it’s called ptsd , I have it from past traumas ,n tbh talking about it really helps , never stop so,done from talking about past traumas ptsd is vile , n living with i5 is tough , not talking about it locks us in our own pain n therapy does not help either thats forced on set days set times , ok yes she’s ott about it ,but she’s not stuck in it she’s bloody terrified of it happening again n it won’t let her go ! ITS GOOD TO TALK !!
Jackie Lulu 5 days ago
True, but this person needs a real therapist to talk it out with.
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#23
It was struggling for a while. Just arguing about nothing all the time. Then finally, during one argument he told me that he [slept with] the girl I was interested in, just to rub it in my face and intentionally hurt me. I knew her since we were 5 and he knew how I felt about her. I could have accepted it if he let me know in a different way, but saying it to intentionally hurt me, made me realize that this is no true friend.
#24
She told mutual friends I had started to resent her.
I mean she was right. But that was **after** all the blatant, repeated cheating.
Don't marry lawyers/ law students folks. It's quite the experience.
Lies are another quiet force that tears friendships apart. They sneak in, tiny at first, until suddenly every conversation feels like walking through fog. When someone you care about lies repeatedly, about big things, small things, or things that don’t even matter, it becomes impossible to trust the version of them you thought you knew. The relationship shifts from easy and open to confusing and tense. You start second-guessing every word they say, every story they share, every excuse they give. And once doubt moves in, it rarely moves out. That’s how friendships fracture without a single argument.
#25
She never checked on me for the month my mom was in hospice. I made time for her 2 days after my mom was transferred to hospice to drive over an hour to her home and scrub her disgusting bathroom. Not a single peep until I posted on social media that my mom had passed. I had always felt the friendship was more one-sided, but I knew it then.
#26
Little quips and "put downs" disguised as jokes but kept getting worse and more personal.
Now I know how to spot it pretty early on and HAVE ended relationships very early in after seeing this red flag immediately.
#27
Friend inherited a good stack of cash (north of 80k) and proceeded to blow it all away while simultaneously quitting their job and traveling the world. Once the money ran out they blamed everything but themselves. If someone they knew had made a big purchase like a car or something they'd go on about how the system is 'rigged' against them. Final straw was me upgrading my reef tank and being told in my own living room that even though I worked 20 hours extra a week over a few months to get the items for it, it was "blind luck" not a simple budget/math problem.
Became tiring and just kind of cut contact after that.
Bad-mouthing is one of the quickest ways to destroy a friendship, and the betrayal cuts deep. Hearing that someone you trusted is gossiping behind your back feels like a punch to the gut. Suddenly, all those vulnerable conversations: your fears, your heartbreaks, your private stories, feel stolen. It turns a safe space into a battlefield. And even if you forgive, the relationship never sits quite right again. Once someone treats you like a punchline when you’re not in the room, the connection loses the warmth it once had. Eventually, walking away becomes the healthier path.
These stories remind us that some relationships end for a reason—when they’re unhealthy or even borderline toxic, walking away is about protecting your own well-being. Prioritizing yourself over others isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Have you ever ended a friendship or relationship because it was draining or harmful? Share your experience in the comments below.
#28
Ended friendships with both of my best friend of over a decade to different issues. One got into a toxic relationship with a slob that turned him into even bigger of one. He didnt pay rent or utilities for a few months so I kicked them out. Nothing was ever quite the same after that and once I heard he was going around our hometown talking a bunch of [trash] I just blocked him.
The other ended up with some serious mental health issues that he was hiding from everyone. Ended up stalking his ex to the point where she moved back in with her family and got a restraining order, we only found out after he got a DUI and had to go to court with that case also being brought up. I had a child and didnt feel remotely safe with him around us anymore. Once he found out he said a ton of nasty [things] and I blocked him for good.
Fact of the matter is, friends from your childhood are just that, thinking you need to hang on to everyone is just setting yourself up for disappointment. People change and its okay to let them go.
#29
A friend and I went on a weekend trip together. Second trip of a similar nature. Same stinginess when it came to splitting cost of the house, which i didnt care at the time. I had the money. But before we went, I said directly to him that if he gets blacked out like he always does, he better hope he knows the code to the door because I'm not babysitting. We are in our late 30s.
It happened the first night and it nearly ruined the trip. It wasn't just an us trip. It was a group trip and he was the only one that couldn't keep it together. Next morning, he woke up like nothing happened and was in a sour mood for most of the day while the rest of us had fun. Whatever. Happened the second night and I knew from that moment, this friendship had run it's course.
We hadn't spoken since and I dont miss the friendship at all. I like drinking and having fun, but his dependency on both friends and alcohol was something I no longer wanted in my life.
#30
He tried to get me into his flat earth camp. Nope.
#31
Childhood friendship. Literally one of the people I've known longest in my life.
We went through periods of being close and not throughout our lives but always found our way back together.
We both got married ( to different people), both had kids. My friend cheated on their spouse (who had become a close friend), and decided to get divorced.
My friend was able to justify her cheating by lying to my wife and I, and we stayed close.
Until, my wife was on a trip out of town and we had a get together with other friends. She got drunk and asked me to go to bed with her. I turned her down and that pretty much broke me and our friendship.
One of the hardest things I've ever had to do was cut her out of my life.
Melissa Harris 6 days ago
I'm gonna guess the OP only ever thought of it as a friendship, but she was in love with them.
#32
Friend for, maybe 40 years, even though moved across country, we'd see each other every time I visited home.
Was home for a [loss] n the family. Really through me. Texted about getting together. Why I was there. That I needed a break from sadness.
Was told, yeah, I'm busy. That was it. No "can't today. How about tomorrow?" I didn't follow up.
And then found out he cheated on his wife a few times. That was it. Cheating is a line in the sand for me.
Another buddy of ours tried to get us all together, said I wasn't interested.
#33
She would constantly put me down or single me out about dumb [stuff]. “oh wow those pants are super purple. purple pants wow okay. you’re wearing like suuuuuuper purple pants….” like ?? okay?? other things like that where she’d say little digs and then laugh like we were all having fun, but she was really being mean to me and me only.
ETA: she was a friend, or i thought she was.
#34
So many friends went MAGA that I had to defriendify them all.
Crystalwitch60 5 days ago
Holy shite yes ,bet you needed to hire a bloody skip to take all that trash out , maggots are lunatics the lot of em !
#35
Planned and executed a big romantic date for my live-in girlfriend of 2 years, taking her to a restaurant well above my then means, getting flowers delivered, picking her up from work, just for her to randomly break down in tears over how much she misses her alcoholic ex husband during the meal, and having restaurant staff thinking we are fighting and that I was the problem.
#36
I had this awesome friend. She was in a [toxic] relationship. Guy didnt let her work she had 2 kids and she had to lie to get money from him. One day he hit her and she decided to stay. I let her if she wanted help to let me know and we'd figure it out. Well a few months later she had another kid, she wanted a baby. So I stopped talking to her soon after. She likes the chaos. I wish her the best tho.
Earonn - 6 days ago
OP has no obligation to intervene further, but to pretend that people in a*****e relationships "love the chaos" is stupid beyond imagination. By know it's general knowledge that women can get k****d when they leave, let alone their children, apart from the psychological reasons.
Tommy DePaul 5 days ago
And how do you analyze her choice to bring another child into that chaotic environment? I swear: if women were responsible for the H*******t their sisters on social media would be defending their actions as mere efforts at population control.
Load More Replies... Jaya 1 week ago
OP clearly has NO idea how abúsive relationships work. Many women in abúsive relationships think they are UNABLE to get out (and in some cases they are right, being kílled during/after the leaving, is not uncommon). It doesn't mean they like chaos or that they like being in an abúsive relationship.
Tommy DePaul 5 days ago
So? OP is just sharing her experience with this woman and the steps she took to protect herself.
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Alex Meurissen 6 days ago
the most dangerous moment for a woman in an a*****e relationship is the moment when she leaves. Victims of a***e usually leave and go back 7 times before they get away for good.
Norfolk and good 6 days ago
It's not uncommon for male perpetrators of domestic a***e to guilt trip, shame or threaten their partner into not using contraception and get pregnant. A pregnant woman or a woman with a new baby is going to find it much harder to leave, and it means that she becomes financially dependent on him. I don't think any victim of a***e "likes the chaos." It's more like their self esteem is so low that they think they can't do any better.
ispeak catanese 5 days ago
PLEASE upvote this so that it remains close to the top of the list. upvote The Panda comments correcting the OP's impression of domestic violence and control of the a****d are very important for everyone to know.
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 5 days ago
I went to OP's comment to see what other people on Reddit had to say and someone said "Well done, she deserves it." Holy s**t.
#37
It's sad to say lack of intimacy, which is a symptom of growing apart and not together. You can have lots of good relationship aspects but when that closeness is not there, ongoing for months, it piles up!!
#38
He screamed at my girlfriend (now wife) so much she started crying. *She was driving him home from a convention.* I was driving the other car with our other friends so I didn't find out until hours later (no, she didn't call me to let me know).
Crystalwitch60 5 days ago
That comes under knuckle sarnie territory 🤬,what a horrid person he had become ,hope your wife was ok x
#39
Borrowing 17K to pay off his collection debt and to stop the Sherif from seizing his car. Then he told/screamed me to my face he was never going to pay me back during a fight.
He's a lazy piece of [trash]. This is on top of him "falling in the tub" and getting a concussion (with no bruises from the fall), always throwing up but never when we were together, having me drive him everywhere bc he medically wasn't allowed from said "fall" and pay for everything within 3 months of our relationship. Getting fired from every job he's ever had. Being 11 months younger than me but acting like he was 11 years old. Wasted about 40K over 3 years + my sanity.
One time I tried to break up with him, he said he was cutting himself and I rushed over to his place. Not a scratch on him, not a drop of blood anywhere.
One time I tried to break up with him and he tried to run in front of a car but absolutely refused to go to therapy or on medication for their debilitating ADHD. When he finally went towards the end, he'd just weaponize whatever they told him against me.
Driving and arguing, pulling into parking lots, throwing a tempture tantrum by hitting themselves, the car (didn't matter to him he was hitting and damaging MY car or rentals under my name), running out of the vehicle and punching poles in parking lots. Ripping their hair off their head when they were upset. Punching holes in walls. Blocking my only exit and trapping me in a room during an argument.
Omg sorry. I've never posted online what I went through with him. I started typing and then couldn't pick one thing.
I eventually ended this relationship by breaking off our engagement and going on a work trip to leave the country for my safety.
Be careful who you end up dating from the apps! I unfortunately had to learn this the hard way. He didn't start off this way but it's ultimately who he always was.
I'm not blameless and I should've had firmer boundaries but even at my absolute worst, I've never treated anyone nearly as bad as he's treated me.
Melissa Harris 6 days ago (edited)
The OP seems to have realized mid post they were in an a*****e relationship. Tip: do not "lend" people money you expect back unless you have a notarized contract and are willing to get lawyers involved. Also, if someone threatens to harm themselves call 911. They'll either be outted for their manipulation or you'll save their life. Either way they'll likely end up on a short term psych hold, which is enough time to move out and change your number.
The Starsong Princess 5 days ago
If someone ever says they will k**l or hurt themselves if you break up with them or don’t give them their way, call 911 immediately and get an ambulance. Do everything in your power to get them a 72 psych hold and walk away.
#40
Not receiving the effort that I put into a friendship and feeling as though they just don’t care anymore.
KatSaidThat 6 days ago
This is me with more than one person lately. But one person who may or may not make it to lunch tomorrow will be ghosted starting Sunday. Not blocked, but she doesn't use my number anyway.
#41
He'd always been someone who asked for more than he gave. So one day we were going to a friends house and he insisted on driving. I offered, but he said no, he wanted to show off his new car. We were planning on having some drinks at the friends house but he said he would be designated driver so I could drink while he stayed sober. So we get into his car and he immediately asks me for $20 to pay for gas. Now we're only going about 20 minutes away, and he's driving a small import car, so there was no way the trip was going to cost $20, but I handed it over to keep the peace and he filled up his tank.
We get to our friends house and things are fine, but then I realize he's doing shots. He's supposed to be DD. I ask if he wants me to drive and he says no because nobody is allowed to drive his car but him, it's his baby. He says he'll be fine to drive and will stop drinking, but in reality he only slows down and switches to beer.
Eventually, later that night he announced he wants to head out which means I have to go as well. On the way back he was driving like a maniac. I think he was offended by my concern about his drinking and to prove me wrong he was speeding and weaving in and out of traffic while bragging about how good a driver he is.
We thankfully get to my neighborhood alive and he pulls into a gas station where he asks me to top off his tank since he drove. I tell him no, I gave him $20 already for gas. He's hurt and offended and says he only drove because he's a good friend to me and that way I could drink the least I could do was top off his tank. I stand my ground and tell him no again, because he got $20 earlier and unless his car got 5 miles per gallon, he was already coming out ahead. He's cranky and complaining about how he was just trying to do something nice for me but won't make that mistake again.
He ends up dropping me off in front of my house and peeling out in my neighborhood at 11:30 pm.
He could be cool at times, but he has some mental health issues and a lot of entitlement that made it very difficult to be friends with him.
Melissa Harris 6 days ago (edited)
OP was a moron for getting into s car with a drunk driver. Someone at the party should've take his keys or called the cops if he left drunk.
#42
Friend. She was always super flakey, would cancel last minute citing all sorts of dramas. Was already at my end. Final straw was she had asked to catch up on my birthday. Had quite a few people wanting to catch up but carved out time for her. She cancelled a few hours before, with yet another stupid excuse. Just ghosted her.
#43
I had a buddy who was more of a frenemy but we had the same friend group going back to childhood. He just has the dumbest most contrarian take on every situation. Dunning-Kruger to a tee and also a [jerk]. one day he started going off in the group chat defending Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, like how Russia had to do it for their own security etc. I just couldn’t take it anymore and had to leave the chat.
Nicole Weymann 6 days ago
"Felt threatened, had to go for a pre-emptive strike" Even if that WAS true: by that logic millions of people worldwide would be justified in going after Trump, Putin, and Netanyahu, their own neighbours, and anyone who looks "off". That logic cost far too many black lives, hit in the back by police buIIets. A "feeling" is not an objective fact. (Also: Putin is ex KGB, not a feeble granny with her life savings tottering through the Bronx or whatever.)
Zig Zag Wanderer 4 days ago
"Well, he looked at me funny. I had to shoot him!"
Load More Replies... #44
Had a good friend for about 15 years progressively saw me more and more as a therapist and tampon as opposed to an equal. I tried explaining that I’m going through my own hardships, but it didn’t resonate. Eventually, I just didn’t respond to a single freak out text and now I haven’t heard from them for at least three years. Oh sure it’s normal to lose track of friends when I moved cross country barely talk to anyone anymore, but those friendships were not demanding.
#45
The whole talking to other guys thing while I was at work because she said I worked too much. She was in school and working part time while I covered everything.
#46
My first real girlfriend back in college, we dated for 3.5 years, so pretty much all of college. We broke up because she crashed out over dropping a grilled cheese on the floor while we were cooking. We weren't even fighting, but I think the stress over "the decision" on what we were going to do after after college was hanging over us and she broke down.
#47
We were together for 15 years. For 12 of that I was the sole income earned, she put us into credit counseling twice in those 12 years with her hidden credit cards and loans. Finally she got a job and life should've got better but we were still struggling to make ends meet, found out she had a hidden bank account her checks were going to and more hidden debt(45grand). When I started putting my checks in my account she had a really big problem and we constantly fought. I decided that's enough of that life's too short and got that divorce. Still lost everything but at least I'm not miserable wanting life to end. Win for me.
#48
When during a car ride through a snowstorm my then partner, who had recently seen me toiling and stressing for hours and hours over a presentation, and knowing I was under a lot of stress generally and in a period of deep insecurity, casually compared my work to a summary of a Wikipedia article.
Edit: unprompted, and not part of any argument ongoing in the car.
#49
When I discovered her affair.
Poor camel has never been the same since...
Nicole Weymann 6 days ago
I'm...confused. Not a native speaker here: is that a metaphor or a colloquialism I haven't heard of, an inside joke, a meme/netflix reference...? Insinuating the ex "consorted" with a camel?
Disgruntled Panda 6 days ago
The straw that broke the proverbial camel's back
Load More Replies... #50
After 15 years she said that I was nothing but a friend. I thought it would be an emotional nightmare to navigate but it turned out surprisingly easy.
#51
Recently ended one of the only friendships I’ve made since moving cross country a few years ago.
I was always the one initiating texts and making plans, and I was willing to overlook the lack of effort on her part because she was always enthusiastic about saying yes or trying to reschedule, but over time the imbalance in effort wore me down.
The last few months I tried to make plans to hang out several times, and each time she was sick or busy, so I told her to let me know if she ever wanted to hang out, knowing she’ll never put in the effort.
It [hurts] because we got along well and had a bunch in common, but I have a (mostly managed) anxious attachment style and it just isn’t healthy for me to be around someone who can’t be consistent.
#52
I was with my ex for almost three years, for the most part our relationship was great but it was all the little things over time added up and made me end things.
-for starters she lived a good hour and a half away from me and idk if any of you have ever had to suffer in Los Angeles traffic but being the only one on the relationship that could legally drive it was always on me to be the one driving back and forth picking her up and dropping her off putting an ungodly amount of wear and tear on my car.
- I was her first relationship ever. That alone presented its own set of complications.
-she’d get mad at me if I told her didn’t feel like [sleeping] with her because I was tired or just not in the mood at the time.
-I’m autistic so I sometimes I need things explained to me in detail but she’d get mad if I asked questions about what she’d want me to do but then she’d get mad if I did said task wrong. There was no winning, she also had a certain way she wanted things done and if I didn’t do it exactly how she wanted to be done she’d again get mad because I couldn’t read her mind when all she had to do was have clear communication with me.
- her hygiene was…questionable. Sometimes I had to beg her to take a shower and her room was filthy.
-she’d start arguments with me if I went to hang put with my friends coworkers. I’d be excited after a hang out to call her and tell her about it and she’d find a way to make me feel bad for hanging out with my friends who live less than 20 minutes away from me or my coworkers who i literally see every day instead of driving almost 2 hours in LA traffic to see her then almost 2 hours back home.
-I was her only friend. I would urge her to put herself out there and make friends but she’d get angry with me for that, being the only person that she told all her problems to became emotionally and mentally draining after a while.
#53
We were three friends. The problem started when I felt low and tried to talk about it. No one listened and I noticed I am not informed on many things. I tried to save it but no use. Now I still talk but don't share anything personal. I'm on my own now.
#54
Buddy got a girlfriend and turned into a hyper simp. owned a house that I inherited, buddy moved in and suddenly his new girlfriend spawned in living without ever telling me. We then proceeded to rent a home after I was forced to sell mine only for them to become a massive nightmare. They never cleaned up after themselves, buddy refused to let his stay at home girlfriend do any house chores as he didn’t like her cleaning up after anyone.
In the end he broke up the friendship and blocked me when he moved out early leaving the two rooms his girlfriend and him had a massive wreck. Accused me of being spineless and letting people take advantage of me. Meanwhile he did that exact [thing].
You try and be a good friend and a girl comes up and turns your friend of over a decade against you.
#55
Divorce:
We had a good evening together after a trial separation. I told her I would stay, I just needed to see her make an effort. She said she wasn't going to even try.
Whatever we had left:
I had the divorce agreement written in a way that gave me custody of our dog. I just couldn't trust her anymore, and my dog was the one thing I couldn't stand to loose after my entire life and future fell apart.
#56
He'd call me every weekend to [complain] about the job (while I was on it). It got to a point that he was just priming me for information. I had to block him and change sites.
#57
Buddy from college. We were both in a media program. I went into one side of broadcasting and he went into another. He was a massive film buff. Literally gasps if you hadn't see something popular. Like Ghostbusters. Just shock. He was a decent enough dude, but post college it was apparent our friendship had an expiration date. I didn't like The Last Jedi. He adored it. When I explained he said that wasn't valid and refused to accept it. I said that's cool and we haven't talked since. He apparently tried to have one of our mutual friends set up a surprise reunion so we could make up, but I found out and told that friend If he went through with it, we'd be done too.
#58
Anyone and everyone that came into her life even if they left it previously on a terrible note instantly became more important than me...
Living at the bottom of her list while she was at the top of mine sucked not sure how I lived with it for 5 years
The hypocrisy, ridiculous ultimatums etc I'd always be taking a step back while she took 3 forward.
#59
Friendship: he’d helped through my depression in high school, but then never really let me “forget” it. Everything he said and did was framed in “oh, but you’re depressed so…” and this started extending to invites to go to hangout, go to events… “you’re depressed, I didn’t think you’d want to go.” It was my 21st birthday when I invited him out to a bar with some new friends I made, but he said he was busy watching his grandma who recently had a stroke. We ran into him, blackout drunk at a diner at 2am. He was so blackout he doesn’t remember. Never spoke to him again.
#62
Had a work friend that was always subtly patronizing, even after I went back to school and moved up in my career, while he stagnated. Once I gained the confidence I decided I didn’t have to let him bring me down anymore.
#64
"Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?"
She wanted to be right.
What do you think ?
whiterabbit 6 days ago
Not that I didn't already realize this but after reading that.. god dàmn I love my BF. After being in 2 very toxic relationships that lasted over 10 years the best way to describe a good relationship is that it's easy. It's not a constant, daily struggle to get along, constant stress of whether they will follow through with what they say, no worried thoughts about who they're with or talking to. A good relationship takes work but it shouldn't be more work than joy, not even close.
Nicole Weymann 6 days ago
I'm somewhat baffled at the downvote. Have an up from me and congrats on your relationship! 😀
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 1 week ago
She cheated on me. I know she did, because she told me so herself, especially how much better than me he was. Two weeks later I found out from two seperate sources she was engaged to be married. To a third guy. That was my first relationship, and second worst.
whiterabbit 6 days ago
Not that I didn't already realize this but after reading that.. god dàmn I love my BF. After being in 2 very toxic relationships that lasted over 10 years the best way to describe a good relationship is that it's easy. It's not a constant, daily struggle to get along, constant stress of whether they will follow through with what they say, no worried thoughts about who they're with or talking to. A good relationship takes work but it shouldn't be more work than joy, not even close.
Nicole Weymann 6 days ago
I'm somewhat baffled at the downvote. Have an up from me and congrats on your relationship! 😀
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 1 week ago
She cheated on me. I know she did, because she told me so herself, especially how much better than me he was. Two weeks later I found out from two seperate sources she was engaged to be married. To a third guy. That was my first relationship, and second worst.
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