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Incarceration can take years, even decades, out of a person’s life. If and when they do get out of prison, they will be stepping into an entirely different world, one they will likely feel alienated from.
A bunch of people spoke about these exact sentiments in a recent Reddit thread. They shared their experiences getting back to normal life after being locked up for a long time.
Some expressed befuddlement at modern technology, while others simply couldn’t adjust to existing outside those four prison walls. You will find their stories as you scroll through.
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#1
Oh! Oh oh! I've never been in prison but I interviewed a guy who had been there for 40 years. He was struck by the kindness of people outside the prison.
He didn't have any idea how to work a cellphone and had to ask someone to dial the number for him. He'd seen them on TV but didn't know how they worked. He'd never heard of Facebook, but his daughter got him on there. He didn't know what a podcast was.
They gave him a lousy apartment next to the freeway and he told me that he loved just listening to the freeway sounds. He had an appreciation for life that was beyond anything I've ever witnessed.
Daisydaisy 3 hours ago
It's sad that people do not experience any kindness in prisons. Imagine what different outcomes we'd have if both the guards and prisoners tried to be kind!
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#2
I had an uncle who was in for a long time. I didn’t know him before. I asked him this question and he said the stars and gone are it’s never night anymore.
#3
I did just under 2 years, I remember grass and trees being like over the top green. Everything has more color when you stare at cinderblock walls all day.
#4
I worked in community corrections in the past. I had one client who was released after 65 years' incarceration. He thought cars were hideous, especially the dashboards, and would not shut up about this. He said he felt naked walking around in public without a hat, and was shocked that no-one wore suits any more. He had forgotten about mosquitoes and was also mad about that. He did eventually buy a modern pickup and a smartphone, and immediately got into Candy Crush and Slots.
#5
Never been but have worked with (as in, have had clients) plenty of people who have. Had a fella last year share with me that he had been in prison for around 10 of the 12 years betweens ages 19-31. Thing that stood out most from that conversation was him saying that he feels constantly paralyzed by all of the decisions he needed to make when out of prison. Basic things like deciding what to eat for dinner were completely overwhelming for him because he didn't have to make any of those decisions whilst inside. He was back in prison a very short time after that conversation .
#6
I was out maybe 2 days. At Home Depot getting tools to start work. I was walking to the register and a theft sensor went off. I hit the floor, looking around to see where the fight was.
#7
My family was playing “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” when I arrived home. It hit me hard, I felt very disappointed in myself for what I’ve done yet at the same time I felt incredibly grateful for the gift of a family that hadn’t given up on me.
More Information 4 hours ago
"Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree" was originally about an ex-convict returning home from prison, asking his lover to tie a yellow ribbon around a tree if she forgives him and wants him back in her life.
#8
I got out 2008 shortly after the first iPhone was released and Facebook was picking up steam. Also there was an Ed Hardy fad which I didn't understand.
The idea that you can do everything, watch TV and movies on your tiny phone blew my mind.
Then people want to post up their photos of their lives for the world to see blew my introverted mind.
Driving again for the first time gave me anxiety because I wasn't used to being around so many people. Being in crowds gave me anxiety. I did not like people standing behind me. Prison made my introversion worse. I didnt remember it being so bad.
#9
How fast everything moved, especially the cars. And everyone staring at their phones, like another world.
Daisydaisy 3 hours ago
It still shocks me, who grew up in the 1970s and 1980s, how everyone (including me) has been sucked into the mobile phone/internet world. It hasn't made us better people
#10
There was a few things that really caught me off guard, but I think this one thing really has me messed up, back in the days no one spoke of what side of the fence they were on or who they voted for, now the wear their parties proudly and get tattoos to rep them. Its so funny and hella weird at the same time. I can't explain it.
Zig Zag Wanderer 5 hours ago
Obviously this is America. I am glad it is only recent, then. I blame social media for deliberately creating divisions in order to engage more ragegbait, and sell more advertising. It's basically the most destructive force ever in society.
#12
I didn’t do a super long stretch, but even a few years felt wild coming back. Phones shocked me the most, everyone staring at screens nonstop and barely making eye contact. Prices too, like everything cost way more than my brain remembered. That adjustment part stuck with me longer than I expected.
#13
I didn’t do a “long time” compared to others I met along the way, but 2019-2022.
What made it crazier was Covid happened during this time. So i left the world one way and came back and some things were drastically different.
I’m also still to this day shocked by how much social anxiety that time created in me. It’s very difficult for me to get out of a cell mentality sometimes.
#14
I work in the prison system in NC and work with inmates all day every day, and I've heard some crazy stories from a lot of these guys and most of them don't know how to function on the outside after being locked up for so long, they literally become institutionalized. I know one guy who's getting out in about 5 months and he's been locked up since 1985. The guy has never been in a Walmart that's how long he's been locked up. He's genuinely scared of getting out but he's got some support on the outside and already a job lined up so hopefully he makes it. But it makes sense because you've been told when to eat when to wake up for 20+ years and then one day you have freedom and almost don't know how to act.
#15
The way people are just so casually disrespectful to random people. I did almost 10 years in the Canadian federal system most of it before cameras were a thing. And you know what just like kids didn't talk back when spanking was a thing, q punch in the mouth will make a grown man respect his neighbour's quickly. Still trying to unlearn that response.
#16
Star Trek and tv sci-fi. I was a fan of The Next Generation and it's peers, DS9, Voyager, Babylon 5. I went in soon after and now the new stuff I got no idea what is going on anymore. I can't watch any of it.
#18
There are interviews with Charlie Manson on this subject referring to times before he was permanently incarcerated where he says the thing that stood out to him the most was the level of environmental destruction that increased with each of his releases from prison.
#19
My unc server 15 years. When he got out, he was shocked by how many new faces he's seeing in our area not knowing it was the little kids that on the block that grew up.
#20
You are more clear you are nothing and things move on without you, and you tend to be more aware of there are rules and you are limited and can only follow.
#21
The variety. I went into a store and when I went over to the ice cream section and saw 100 different flavors I was like hell yeah! Obviously I know there are a ton of flavors but seeing all the variety was still shocking. We ate the same cookies for 10 years.
#22
Not me, but my uncle did 14 years. He said the most shocking thing wasn't the iPhones or the prices—it was how careless everyone is.
He told me, 'In there, if you stop looking around for 5 seconds, you get hurt. Out here, people walk down the street staring at glowing screens, completely blind to the world. They walk like they are invincible.'
Even after being out for a year, he still can't sit with his back to a door, and watching people walk blindly into traffic while texting gives him genuine anxiety.
More Information 4 hours ago (edited)
I think that last part, about walking into traffic, is very reasonable
#23
I haven’t but my mom did. First 20 years of my life that’s mostly where she was.
She always complained how jail she felt like she had a place, she was like a mom on the yard in chowchilla.
She never got her footing and was out for a while before she passed. Always scared me.. how do you get comfortable with prison?? She was so nice I couldn’t picture her in there but she was all tatted up. Face and neck. And I’m sure everyone else did. She scared them all lol.
Anyways. I know she was shocked, mostly by how dejected society is maybe.. you gotta find a way to fit in or you get left behind. I do get that part.
#24
Been out nearly 1 years from an 11 years sentence,and i struggle just leaving the house,like a kind of pending doom feeling.
Kim Kermes 5 hours ago
Keep on keeping on. It'll get better. If possible, a dog companion might help.
#25
I haven't been in prison but one of my friends was in for almost 30 years. He didn't understand computer basics. He couldn't write an email, couldn't open a word document. Probably stuff we all consider second nature. What always made me the most sad was how he never fully understood how easy it is to get your information ( banking, identity, etc) stolen.
#26
A coworker of mine, her brother was in prison for the past 10 years and recently got out - he was stunned when he saw how many different coffee creamers there are now. He lost his mind when he saw the Snickers flavor.
#29
Not been imprisoned but been sectioned for a very very long time and literally everything is overwhelming. first time i got out and saw people just walking down the road like normal or going in a shop and i couldnt stop thinking how free they were.
Daisydaisy 3 hours ago
This is so sad and makes me very grateful for the freedom I enjoy - a garden, friends, birds in the sky, going wherever I want to. That's a lot to be grateful for
#30
My buddy got out of prison, was in for 15 years, we went to a buffet and he just couldn’t believe it, he started crying!
#31
After I did my 20 years in Butler. I was shocked how so many men were...losers. I worked at a spot located on the main Boulevard when I first got out.
There was a few young gents that would talk about a girl they liked. They came to me for advice. I told them the next time they see her, wash your face, slick your hair back, look them in the eyes and ask them out. When I asked them how it went. They basically said they didn't want to get turned down.
Same with when a couple young gents would get in a heated argument. I said take it outside. They proceeded outside and just yelled at each other. No fighting. One dude deflated another's tires. The other guy just said wth man.
#32
I only did a couple yrs and a bunch of lesser sentences in the 80s I remember being surprised at doors automatically opening. I was more surprised how easy doing pen time was early 80's I was high quite a lot on pills or hash or oil.
#33
A person told me that he was shocked to see people talking while walking and looking all the ways. He thought it very insane and later he came to know about air buds and wireless listening gadgets.
#34
Self-checkout. I didn't expect to have to work a shift at the grocery store just to buy some milk.
#35
I watched a news show that followed a guy that had just gotten out of prison after a multi decade stay inside. When asked this very question he replied "they have peanut butter with jelly in the same jar". Apparently this blew his mind.
#36
My FIL was just released after 8 yrs. While in, he also went blind. He calls everyday asking for help with his phone, checking his bank information, calling an uber, making appointments with his PO. He has also almost been scammed multiple times by “facebook dating girls” It doesn’t help that he decided to live 2.5 hrs away, but he does have a decent paying job there. My wife is a saint for taking his calls and helping him as much as she can.
#37
Dude I went to highschool with got like 15-20 years back in mid 90s. Got out and went on a little crime spree.
I guess you cold say he was shocked that were cameras ever freeking where by then. Back in for the long haul :P.
#38
I knew someone that was in prison throughout the 90s and 2000s. They were in complete shock and loss to the information boom. Never could fully adapt.
#39
I had to Google this but I remember my uncle showing me Scarface (the video game) and then a month later he got arrested. He got out 3-4 years ago and said his biggest shock was how everyone was doing the social media thing.
What do you think ?
Panda McPandaface 4 hours ago (edited)
I realise that society has to have punishments and deterrents otherwise it simply couldn't function but it seems clear from so many of these answers that prison is not always the best solution - not without help and training (tech training springs to mind) for inmates. I don't know what the answer is, I don't pretend to be an expert, I just know how I can relate to the feelings of being 'left behind' and 'alienated' that are expressed here. So many are released and just left to fend for themselves without the emotional or social tools and abilties to ever succeed, it's no wonder that so many actually want to go back into prison where, if nothing else, they understand the system. Scandinavia seems to have better outcomes from it's prisons but I shall leave it to someone more knowledgeable than me to tell me if I am correct or not.
Panda McPandaface 4 hours ago (edited)
I realise that society has to have punishments and deterrents otherwise it simply couldn't function but it seems clear from so many of these answers that prison is not always the best solution - not without help and training (tech training springs to mind) for inmates. I don't know what the answer is, I don't pretend to be an expert, I just know how I can relate to the feelings of being 'left behind' and 'alienated' that are expressed here. So many are released and just left to fend for themselves without the emotional or social tools and abilties to ever succeed, it's no wonder that so many actually want to go back into prison where, if nothing else, they understand the system. Scandinavia seems to have better outcomes from it's prisons but I shall leave it to someone more knowledgeable than me to tell me if I am correct or not.
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