Being invited into a friend’s home can feel like a huge honor. They’re opening up their humble abode to you, and you have the opportunity to get an intimate peek into their life. They might have family photos on the walls, artwork from childhood on the fridge and dozens of books that mean the world to them lining the shelves.
But visiting someone else’s house can backfire when you start to notice things that terrify you. Redditors have recently been discussing some of the worst things that you could possibly find in someone else’s home, so we’ve gathered the biggest red flags below. Enjoy reading through, and be sure to upvote the things that would send you running for the hills!
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If they have children, but you see no sign of a child in the home outside of their bedroom.
Edit: I do not mean the home is trashed. I mean you see no photos, no coats, shoes, toys anything indicating a child lives there too. For example I tidy up every night, but you’ll still see my toddlers shoes by the door and his little paw patrol table in the living room. & photos around the house of him of course
Another edit: I am not going back and fourth with you sad beige parents that live for aesthetics. If you don’t get it I’m not explaining it.
House made of sweets and gingerbread. Boiling cauldron over chimney fire.
Large political flags on the wall. I don't care what your political affiliations are, if you are that obsessed with it that you feel the need to hang a huge flag in your living room to announce them, that's a no from me.
I did some real estate photography on a home.
It was a Mass State Trooper. It was disturbing: A nice neighborhood, a nice home, clean and well maintained. Kids and wife photos decorating the walls and end tables. But I started noticing holes punched into walls (some of them plastered and repaired, some of them "fresh". Doors that had been splintered at the bottom from being kicked in. A couple doors that had padlocks on them that had been ripped out. There were just signs of rage everywhere I looked. It was disturbing and I felt bad for the family.
They need way better screening and treatment of police for mental health issues.
No hand soap in the bathroom.
I change the bathroom towels in our guest bathroom every Friday. One Friday I told my son to go wipe up the urine he left on the seat & floor and then watched this imposter of my DNA, wipe the urine with a hand towel and hang it back up, in front of me. I've never wanted to disown a relative more in my life.
As a parent, this made me smile, not because of what he did ofcourse. But sometimes we forget that we never taught them how to do something. It kinda depends on his age though. At a certain age you could expect them to figure out to use toilet paper for that. But at other ages I am unfortunately not surprised that they do not think about what to use to wipe something up. My kids had the habit of taking a clean dishtowel (theedoek) from the cupboard to clean up spills. Instead of a rag (doekje) or a towel that was in use/more ready for a round of laundry. On one hand, ok, you are cleaning it up, but aaargh!
This extreme beigeness. Especially if there are kids. I saw videos of parents painting colorful toys beige. It's just sad.
I don't understand this at all. It feels so impersonal. I dislike overly matched and perfectly decorated houses too. Being in someone's home should tell you who they are, but an overly-curated home always makes me feel like they're trying to hide themselves.
I don’t know if I’d go as far as “red flag”, but people who have zero books in their home give me pause.
I read E reader or library books, but I buy my favorite books, so I can lend them to friends and family. I like them looking used,so I know they've told their story often and no E reader will make me feel like they are part of my life
Load More Replies...This one is a bit judgemental. Buying books is expensive, libraries are free
But wouldn't library books be in evidence in that case?
Load More Replies..."Oh no, somebody doesn't have the same hobby as me, how horrible." Also, how do you know somebody has zero books? Do you ask people where they keep books? Mine are all in a closed cupboard.
Exactly. I grew up with massive bookshelves that suck out all the light and space from the living room, and I don't like the aesthetic. So, I keep my books in mostly in a closed cupboard. They also collect less dust that way
Load More Replies...We got rid of hundreds of books a few years ago; these days 90% of my reading is done on my Kindle.
I hate reading that way. I need pages to turn and that particular paper smell.
Load More Replies...Actually someone tagged me as such in the past - only to stand corrected later that day. The reason I do not have books on display in most of my flat is that I have a separate library. I simply would not have room for anything except books otherwise.
I was going to say the same. We have a library, so you would not immediately "see books" when you entered our home
Load More Replies...I have minimal space, so I've downsized my book storage. My rule now is I borrow from the library, but if I borrow it 3 times, I buy it because I'm probably going to read it so many times, it'll be in 4 separate pieces before I finally give in and replace it.
I'm a bookworm and have been so for my entire life. But you won't many find books in my home. (Except for the ones that belonged to my mom when she was young, which I will always keep) I have hundreds of books on my Kindle - and they don't take up any space. E-readers are one of the best things that have ever been invented IMO. :)
I have hundreds of books. I have zero visible books. The are kept in an enclosed bookcase so the covers don't get sun-bleached. So maybe, don't judge a book by the lack of covers.
You don't see books in the visitor areas of some homes because they have a room call "the library".
As i've gotten older, I have donated hundreds of my books in the realization that a book contains far too little data to take up that much space. There are other things i'd prefer to fill my house with than fire hazards.
How often do you see every room? Do they have an e-reader? A bland house is my disappoinment. Like a page out of a decoration magazine: where is the personal touch. Books are a personal touch. But nowadays lots is electronic. No music collection to see, no books or movies on a shelf - it could all be digital.
It is a common misconception that everyone keeps their books once they were read. I've read hundreds of books throughout my live but I only still own a handful of them.
Agreed. We have literally hundreds in every room. First things (after the cats) I would save in a fire.
While I love books, in this age ( and especially with the housing crisis and many of my friends living in pretty small appartments) I can easily see while people who like reading go for the option of e-readers, library subscriptions, audio books or buying second hand books and donating them after reading.
I have zero books. I am an avid reader but I read on Kindle and borrow from the library.
Had a GF who had no books, no magazines. Asked her about it and to make a long story short, when she read it was a monotonous string of words in her mind. She did not form any mental images and drift away into the stories. Was amazed when I said this is what happened when I read things.
Using books just for home decor is silly and unpractical. I have friends who have giant piles of books just for display, placed piled on top of each other horizontally. That is just really bothering, doesn't make me happy for them having books.
I believe it was Lee Mack who said that you know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your bookcase. Looking at my family seems to bear this out.
To be honest my books are not in living room, they are in bedroom and in my activity room. I dont want people touching my books or wanting to borrow them and then damage them
Load More Replies...In the past, yes, but these days... all the books we bought and red the last few years are on kindle.
For a while I had very few books because I donated the hundred of books I had to charity. Guess I'm a bad person
You'd love my house then. I'm a clean freak and we don't have clutter, except for books. Three out of the five of us are avid readers and book hoarders. We have stacks books around the house.
My former boss had a white house. no magazines, np photos, Nothing! But she does have an Elvis scarf, in a drawer...
Check their eyesight. It may be eyesight not hatred of books or illiteracy. My grandmother was a librarian, I grew up loving to read, hundreds of books. But now me can't see the print as well so most of what I read is online or on a tablet or audiobooks. Stuff where I can control the print size or it doesn't matter. - Full disclosure - I do still have a couple of bookcases full of books but they are not on display in the public areas of my house. Don't assume lack of books on display means hates knowledge / imagination / books in general.
We don't have room for ours. .they are in boxes in one of the closets we don't use. Last place has one wall of built ins, new place had none and we can't really figure out where to put bookcases But I've been way more into audio or library books
Or zero computers and doing everything just with their phone (and call it 'work')
Laptops are pretty easy to clear out of sight, it doesn't mean they're not used
Load More Replies...i can relate to this my eyesight has gotten so bad that it gives me a splitting headache to read so its audio books
Crosses / jesus s**t everywhere.
For clarity, as this one seems to be dividing, I read this as; 'People with a LOT of religious iconography' I don't think they mean just a crucifix or two, but like, a cross in every room, or a shrine type setup.
My bicycle that I reported stolen 2 weeks ago. Big Red Flag.
Really gnarly aquarium. If you’re gonna trap fish in a box for your personal pleasure, keep that s**t pristine.
Pristine aquariums are not healthy environments for the fish. Much of that gunk is bacteria that takes the ammonia secreted by the fish and breaks it down into less toxic substances. One of the biggest mistakes new fish keepers make is to do regular deep cleaning. Regarding the picture here, that's just a buildup of algae on the glass. While it may be unsightly, it is not unhealthy for the fish.
I was looking at an apartment to rent in a very liberal part of the USA. Place was great! I’d have a huge windowed area and lots of nice amenities like a fireplace. I went to the other part of the place where the landlord lived. Above *his* fireplace was a portrait. A portrait of Nathan Bedford Forrest. Founder of the KKK. I noped right the f**k out of there.
Trashy neighbor's dog died in a kennel, probably from starvation.
They ignored the body until well after rigor set in, and then they couldn't get it out of the cage because the limbs wouldn't bend. So they just left it in there, in the house, surrounded by piles of garbage
Their 10-year-old eventually asked other neighborhood adults for help because the parents wouldn't do anything about it.
So... dead dog rotting in a cage is my red flag.
OMFG >.< I'd have had the cops, RSPCA, and anyone else I could think of on their fkn doorstep.
When they let their pets poop and pee in the house. Bonus if they let their kid sleep in a room that is essentially a massive litter box.
When they don't do basic preparation for a preplanned guest coming over. For example, there's no toilet paper, they don't offer you anything to drink, house is really messy.
First thing I do when I know I'm having people over is clean the toilet and make sure there's enough TP
Growing up my mom always told me if I saw a gun in someone's home to politely leave and call her and that she'd pick me up. How to tell in one quick story that someone was raised outside of the United States. I still get a jolt when I see a rifle in someone's house, I understand that there is responsible gun owners but I am not fond of being near weapons even when properly stored.
If you see it then it's probably not properly stored, in a closed cabinet.
One major red flag is if their home feels too sterile or empty—like they don’t actually live there. Also, lots of signs of anger, like holes in the walls, can be concerning!
Homes that are SO tidy & sterile that I feel I'm making a mess just by breathing!
Dish rack was in the sink and had black mold on it, they put clean dishes on it to dry i was horrified they also just put water in the baby bottles and let them soak and used them. Never actually washing the bottles HORRIFIED.
We were looking at a litter of German Shepherd puppies. Very large house, lots of land. Looked rather posh.
The mum and pups were in the kitchen. Dog poo, puddles of urine everywhere.
I managed to step in 💩
Owner said ‘oh sorry! Give me your boot and I’ll clean it’.
I assumed she had an outside tap? Oh no…she took it to the kitchen sink and washed it there.
We declined a cup of tea.
Books on Dianetics
My phone kept changing that to diabetics.
A collection of young women's ID cards.
When they use the sofa as a changing table with no blanket or anything on it. I went to someone's house and the kid had a blow out. The mom just put the baby with poopy diaper on the sofa to change her and looked at me when my jaw hit the floor and said "What's the big deal? It's just poop!" I never went there again.
It also explains why they purchased a brown sofa. 🤢.
They had only one kitchen cloth. Just that ONE. Used for wiping hands, wiping the counter, wiping the dishes, and wiping the microwave/stove after cooking.
There was a guy who posted on r/malelivingspace who has 3 ‘obey’ prints above his bed.
Cr*ck pipe, cats but no litter box, liquor bottles are the only decoration you can find, barely any furniture.
No furniture, black garbage bags as window curtains, and a box spring with no sheets just a dirty blanket..
One of my best friends from middle school invited me to spend the night one weekend and their house was so unbelievably *nasty*. It was more than just trash and dirty clothes all over the place. My friend’s older sister had a baby and they even had dirty diapers and food scraps throughout their apartment. Aside from some odd behavior from their mom who was gone pretty much the whole time we were there. We went swimming in their apartment pool that same weekend and my friend told me that her mom actually had a d**g problem and she sometimes just wouldn’t see her for days at a time. So now I think any unusual amount of trash could indicate a serious issue someone there must really be going through something in order for their house to be looking like *that*.
A dog with a shock collar.
Roaches. My in laws place is full of roaches and they act like it's no big deal.
What kind of roaches? If OP is talking about the kind pictured above, that's just par for the course in the American Southeast. German ones on the other hand..........
Toilet paper roll facing in the wrong direction.
Any time my dad argues that there is no "right" way to hang toilet paper I show him a picture of the original patent for it. He's a patent attorney. :)
Bare mattress on the floor. No duvet cover or pillow cases. Crusty hand towels that haven’t been changed in days or weeks.
Duvet cover is too much of a pain, I have a sheet between me and the blanket anyway
Crushed prescription pills lying all over the living room coffee table.
Some on this list are just really funny but some are just really snobby. No evidence of hobbies or books! That's not a red flag some people don't like reading and don't have hobbies.
I'm dyslexic, the books are just a decoration lol. I don't feel like struggling for a week to finish a few chapters, audiobooks all day.
Load More Replies...For me it's a dirty kitchen. I can't deal with it. I'm talking like piles of dirty dishes in the sink, food scraps, nothing has been wiped down. Even down to the cloth used.
Don’t judge the bath towels! I don’t know where my kids haul them off to but I’m TRYINg!!! 😩
This is on the more superficial side, but I don't enjoy going to people's homes when they don't know how to use chill, entertainment lighting...like no warm lamps or even some candles or string lights. They just have on all the overheads with bright/flourescent lights...AND when it's cold in their house. Both of those things don't make me feel comfy or welcome..it makes me feel like I'm in my office, where I spend 40 hrs a week already. How bout no music?! Like how do you entertain and it's cold, brightly lit, and nothing in the background?
HAHA not only superficial, but borderline self-entitled. Not everyone can afford to light their house in a manner to please you specifically. It should not make you "uncomfortable" if they have normal lighting and do not buy a specific kind of bulb to please your delicate sensibilities. Not having random music playing means, I dunno, they might be interested in talking with whoever might be visiting?! Makes me glad I can use my heathen "cold" normal Walmart lightbulbs and don't have to worry about breaking out "the good lights" for anyone that visits.
Load More Replies...Went to visit some family friends who live in England. Their entire house was covered in stuff. All over every table, counter, seat, couch. They had two young kids who had to snake their way through a tiny path in the back yard because the grass was taller than they were. It's not that the house was dirty, there was just stuff everywhere. When we ate supper, I couldn't even fit my plate on the table because of everything piled up. Friend moved the stuff when he saw I didn't have space. But who doesn't neaten up their house for guests?
After reading this, I am so glad that I've cleaned my bathroom this morning. Including changing the towels and the bathmat like every week.
nice guy lived in the building that i was in. eventually, he asked me to come by for dinner. so, sure - why not? knocked on his door and when he opened it the first thing i saw was that pretty much every place on the walls were cut outs of women from men's magazines. i mean they were everywhere. so, i quickly came up with an excuse as to why i couldn't stay for dinner and left. it was just so creepy. he still asked me over a few more times until i told him that i had entered into a relationship with someone and i was very happy with the situation. the new love of my life: a doberman puppy.
A lot of sh!t on this list is just people being low-income. Not having a fvckload of money isn't a red flag, it's just the way life is for a good majority of people around the world. You make due with what you have and do the best you can, regardless of what anyone else might think or say.
I love a clean house. It's easy to get motivated now if I have a podcast or audio book to listen to awhile I work on it.
I can't stand people who can't keep their pets clean. You go over to their house and petting their dogs is like petting a greasy Towel. Plus in those kids of houses, there's pet hair stacked up in the corners of the room and so thick on the furniture you don't want to sit on it.
Went to pick up a coworker and they had an engine block on the floor in the kitchen. AND a hole in the floor big enough to fall into the basement.
I commented on these posts way too seriously. Red flags is often a culmination of things. And somethings shouldn't be called red flags if they are THAT obvious or if they're criminal/abuse. Abuse is not a red flag, it's abuse. A red flag to me is an indication of someone possible being bad/not sane. If there is clear evidence... skip the flags and leave.
Some on this list are just really funny but some are just really snobby. No evidence of hobbies or books! That's not a red flag some people don't like reading and don't have hobbies.
I'm dyslexic, the books are just a decoration lol. I don't feel like struggling for a week to finish a few chapters, audiobooks all day.
Load More Replies...For me it's a dirty kitchen. I can't deal with it. I'm talking like piles of dirty dishes in the sink, food scraps, nothing has been wiped down. Even down to the cloth used.
Don’t judge the bath towels! I don’t know where my kids haul them off to but I’m TRYINg!!! 😩
This is on the more superficial side, but I don't enjoy going to people's homes when they don't know how to use chill, entertainment lighting...like no warm lamps or even some candles or string lights. They just have on all the overheads with bright/flourescent lights...AND when it's cold in their house. Both of those things don't make me feel comfy or welcome..it makes me feel like I'm in my office, where I spend 40 hrs a week already. How bout no music?! Like how do you entertain and it's cold, brightly lit, and nothing in the background?
HAHA not only superficial, but borderline self-entitled. Not everyone can afford to light their house in a manner to please you specifically. It should not make you "uncomfortable" if they have normal lighting and do not buy a specific kind of bulb to please your delicate sensibilities. Not having random music playing means, I dunno, they might be interested in talking with whoever might be visiting?! Makes me glad I can use my heathen "cold" normal Walmart lightbulbs and don't have to worry about breaking out "the good lights" for anyone that visits.
Load More Replies...Went to visit some family friends who live in England. Their entire house was covered in stuff. All over every table, counter, seat, couch. They had two young kids who had to snake their way through a tiny path in the back yard because the grass was taller than they were. It's not that the house was dirty, there was just stuff everywhere. When we ate supper, I couldn't even fit my plate on the table because of everything piled up. Friend moved the stuff when he saw I didn't have space. But who doesn't neaten up their house for guests?
After reading this, I am so glad that I've cleaned my bathroom this morning. Including changing the towels and the bathmat like every week.
nice guy lived in the building that i was in. eventually, he asked me to come by for dinner. so, sure - why not? knocked on his door and when he opened it the first thing i saw was that pretty much every place on the walls were cut outs of women from men's magazines. i mean they were everywhere. so, i quickly came up with an excuse as to why i couldn't stay for dinner and left. it was just so creepy. he still asked me over a few more times until i told him that i had entered into a relationship with someone and i was very happy with the situation. the new love of my life: a doberman puppy.
A lot of sh!t on this list is just people being low-income. Not having a fvckload of money isn't a red flag, it's just the way life is for a good majority of people around the world. You make due with what you have and do the best you can, regardless of what anyone else might think or say.
I love a clean house. It's easy to get motivated now if I have a podcast or audio book to listen to awhile I work on it.
I can't stand people who can't keep their pets clean. You go over to their house and petting their dogs is like petting a greasy Towel. Plus in those kids of houses, there's pet hair stacked up in the corners of the room and so thick on the furniture you don't want to sit on it.
Went to pick up a coworker and they had an engine block on the floor in the kitchen. AND a hole in the floor big enough to fall into the basement.
I commented on these posts way too seriously. Red flags is often a culmination of things. And somethings shouldn't be called red flags if they are THAT obvious or if they're criminal/abuse. Abuse is not a red flag, it's abuse. A red flag to me is an indication of someone possible being bad/not sane. If there is clear evidence... skip the flags and leave.
