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We’re only human. You can’t expect to be perfect all the time—no matter how much you strive for that, there will always be some glaring flaws and gaps in your knowledge that you might find embarrassing. It’s best to fix what you can and embrace all the rest. Though, to be fair, that’s much easier said than done. And that’s exactly what internet users have been discussing over on the r/AskReddit subreddit.

Redditor Wijting asked people to share the things that they believe they’re doing wrong, but are too scared to ask somebody about. In a very honest thread, people opened up about all the things, big and small, that they’re either too embarrassed to ask about in real life or are simply too afraid to draw attention to because they think others would make fun of them for this. Fortunately, the friendly folks of Reddit were more than happy to offer their own advice to people.

Have a read through some of these honest posts, upvote the ones that you can personally relate to, and if you’re feeling brave enough, share what you personally think you’re doing wrong in the comment section. Maybe some Pandas will come along with some helpful advice.

One of the biggest marvels in life, at least for me, is that it's never too late to start learning something new. No matter how embarrassed we might be, no matter our age, we can accomplish great things if we put in the effort. I had a chat about what we should do to put ourselves in the best possible position to learn new things as we grow older with Age UK, a charity that helps everyone make the most of later life. Scroll down for Bored Panda’s interview with them below. I also reached out to the author of the viral thread, redditor Wijting. You can read what they had to say below as well.

#1

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask I have no idea if my lunch break is an hour or 30 minutes.

Where my office is located in my building, my boss and co-workers can’t see me leave for lunch. When I started, I just began taking hour lunches like I did at my last job. Recently, I heard a co-worker mention taking her 30 minute lunch.

I’ve been taking hour long lunches for 6 years and it’s way past the point of asking…

spydervenom , Rolf Kleef Report

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Jyri Hakola
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are able to do all of your tasks on time, perform well, your boss is happy and no one complains, keep having a 1 hour break and in any cases do not ask. Eventually your employer pays your achievements, not the time that you sat on your chair and well rested and fed brain is likely more productive in the afternoon than brain without a break.

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#2

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask I feel like I’m really articulate when I’m going about my day especially over text, but as soon as I get into a verbal disagreement, it’s like my brain shuts off and I forget how to think. Like a deer in the headlights. I don’t remember it always being this way, but it’s like I struggle to accurately express myself.

The_Splenda_Man , Ketut Subiyanto Report

#3

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask I have no idea how often I should text, call or hang out with a friend to maintain a friendship. Especially long distance. I’ve lost friends over the years because I hate texting and don’t understand how often I need to keep in touch with someone. The only friends I’ve kept are the ones I can meet in person.

iceunelle , Nathan Dumlao Report

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Redditor Wijting told Bored Panda that they were inspired to create the thread because they hope that it would help them work some stuff out. "The reason why I made the thread was because I had something on my mind. I think I've been doing something wrong for a while. I was hoping the thread would give me the courage to ask the question myself. To be honest, my particular problem compared to some answers on the thread was rather small," they opened up.

I was also interested to find out whether the redditor thinks that being candid in embarrassing and awkward situations actually helps bring people closer together. "People like honesty and honesty within any type of relationship will make the bond stronger. This is a personal view though," they told Bored Panda.

#4

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask I really wish someone could supervise me during social interactions and give me real honest feedback about what I am doing wrong.

sixhoursneeze , SHVETS production Report

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Kerstin Fransen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That would actually be amazing! I struggle with social interactions from time to time and I really wonder how I actually come across.

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#5

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Parenting. For the last 20 years.

They all appear to be functioning human beings, so we can't be too far off the mark, but I do worry we've screwed up somewhere along the line and they'll pay the price for our mistakes in the future.

EnailaRed , Steven Van Loy Report

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James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is no one right way to parent. There are plenty of things you should never do though.

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#6

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Flirting. Let's face it. I don't even know what the heck that is, how it works and what the difference between talking and flirting is. Funny enough, apparently that leads to me constantly flirty without wanting to be. At least, I often get told that I flirt with almost every single person I meet.

OverlyShyEnby , Katerina Holmes Report

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mulk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

" I flirt with almost every single person I meet." : that's because you are a charming person ;)

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According to redditor Wijting, taking small steps "to build up courage" can be a good way to admit our flaws and ask someone for some helpful advice. "Try to hint at, or try to lead with smaller questions."

Wijting shared with me that they were "taken aback" by the response their thread got. "A lot of people think they are doing things wrong that I have always taken for granted. Not knowing how to shave, for instance. These questions have made me think if I'm actually doing these things wrong myself... Some questions were rather deep, and I do hope the people that have asked them got some satisfying answers."

Meanwhile, Age UK had this to say. "We know that our thinking skills change very gradually throughout our lives, but there are things we can do to help us to stay sharp," Age UK told Bored Panda. "Evidence from the Global Council of Brain Health suggests that having a positive mental attitude, a healthy diet, taking exercise, socializing, and engaging in new activities are all linked to better thinking skills later in life."

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#7

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Treating my depression.

I've been in therapy for years now, have tried various anti-depressants, made huge life changes including abstaining from alcohol, removed toxic relationships, even changing my diet. I've tried everything I can find, and, if anything, things are getting worse. It's getting to the point where tomorrow I have an appointment to find out if I have cancer, and can't decide if I will bother with treatment in the case that I do.

nubsauce87 , Nik Shuliahin Report

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Hedgielover98
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hugs. I know the feeling of meds, diet, etc not making a difference

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. Three years of therapy and 2 of antidepressants and I am more apathic than ever. I am more in control, less crying, shouting, no more suicide attempts. But I hate my life more than ever and have no hope. I am simoly waiting to die but i have manh years ahead. I hope that one day my diseases get worse so i can apply for euthanasia. As they are now nobody would forgive me if I do.

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Francis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if a bus runs me over today i wouldn't mind.. i have a great relationship, a great job, great freinds and family and everything should be fine.. but.. no. and my therapists can't quite understand what i mean ...

jmscargill avatar
Scagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand exactly what you mean. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in feeling that. Thank-you for sharing and I hope it improves for you somehow.

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Ally R
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So I know the original author is unlikely to see this, but it might be an incorrect diagnosis. Depression can be a symptom for many things. I for one, have been on antidepressants for years for depression & anxiety but it turns out I've got ADD. Since treating that, I'm a whole new person. If the treatment you've been given isn't working, try and speak to your doc to get further help. ❤️

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JensenDK
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes to this. My daughter is not getting better with meds or therapy. Now the psychiatrics want to seek for an underlying diagnosis - they suspect autism. Depression can be a symptom, and not the basic disorder.

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Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

☹☹😢😢 54 years of struggle here. I really feel where you're at right now. My God how I wish I could give you an absolute one answer that if you do this one thing it will fix it. Various anti depressants. I dont know your MD situation, but have you tried every one there is? There are also meds that can be used that are called "off label". Some psychiatrists are better at meds than others. My MD didn't have anymore answers but consulted his partner who is medication genius. Made all the difference. Please, at this point dont just decide not to. It may get to the point where you change your mind & it will be too late to do anything. If you start treatment & really decide you want to stop, you can. Also in many cancer treatment centers they have mental health resources for others with cancer. Plug into that. Tell them this.Tell them right away. They may have resources yet known to you. Have you been in the hospital? I have. Its really not scary there at all. One big all enveloping hug.

delphinum4 avatar
Zophra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sorry for many of you that posted on here, truly. I hope things might one day turn around.

zet_1 avatar
Zet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't possibly imagine the whole extend how you are feeling...but I can relay a bit too i (F27) am depressed since my late Teenager years and currently in therapy since about 3 or 4 years now. Have you tried to do a medical checkup? checking your hormones and if you have a chronic inflammation? Inflammations literally "eat up" a lot of Serotonin (we produce 90% of it in our intestines) if you have a chronic bowel inflammation you might even not be able to assimilate all the necessary Elements. Your body can't produce the right Hormones to feel happy anymore and your depression gets triggered even more. - try getting a chronic / low-grade inflammation checkup - take some supplements such as: Vitamine D / L-Tryptophan / Zink / Magnesium / Iron / Proteins - eat a more plant based diet with lots of omega 3 fats, organic is the better choice! - avoid processed Foods and red meat - if you need to eat meat try to get premium meat (hormones and meds they give animals are also bad for us)

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Kathrin-S. Jäck
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you checked your Vitamin B12, Iron and thyroid levels by a blood test? Too high and to low are equally bad for your mental health! I know what I'm talking about. An imbalance is devastating for your mental health. Forget the low scheduled stuff you can get at a drug store, if you are too low on B12, you need the very high (i.e. 3 oz), and iron 0,002 oz per DAY! Do this like 1 month straight and have your blood levels examined again. Regarding the prescription medication for my thyroid malfunction, I know I have an easy say in Germany, as we have National Health insurance and I pay roughly 5$ for a pill package worth 3 months daily intake, but please get a test. This can make a difference. Sometimes it’s just tiny little bit that’s off. Please take these tests to have clarity on what's wrong.

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sarahliles@yahoo.com
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please, please get everyone get a genetic test done. It was the first thing my Mental Health Nurse Practioner did for me. It helped her to know what medications would help the most and the least. She did her thesis on genetic and the effects of the brain. I also take L-methylfolate which has helped tremendously. I addition I take vitamin D, B-12 Methylcobalamin (has to be this one to work with the L-methylfolate), fish oil and two supplements of Standard Process Symplex F and Catalyn. If I don't take my vitamins and supplements, my medication doesn't work. Please try to find a MHNP instead of a doctor as they are more knowledgeable about mental health and medications (and more open minded) than doctors tend to be. My sisters and I have all struggled with depression and I seem to be the only one doing better because I am seeing a MHNP and not a doctor. I also have to take certain brands of meds and vitamins because the "fillers" used make them affect the meds. Stay strong!

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Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does anybody know how to "fire" your therapist? Mine is a very sweet woman but she is not helping me anymore and while she really tries she cant understand my situation. I am tired of hearing false hope and positivity but I dont want to hurt her because she is kind. But its too expensive to do it just to not hurt a person.

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sarah bornstein
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Therapist here. No need to beat around the bush. Just tell her it isn't working for you. 80% of therapy success is based on the therapeutic relationship. Sometimes it's just not a match.

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Guðrún Sveinsdóttir
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

41 years old, still fighting since 13 and strong medication but the best therapy for me is a trustworthy friend or companion that you can talk and talk about that and what ever crosses your mind. " karens" with their cats are in the top 10s 😁 please try it or something like that 🥰💜💙💚 something silly and entertaining. Though documentaries is a big addiction for me as well🥰

babybud81 avatar
Mary Launer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, I've been on antidepressants for almost ten years now. I'm now on the maximum amount I can take, I do feel better and feel ok but I havent felt good in a long time

vidimlic62 avatar
Mimi777
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried so many different antidepressants over the years, never really helped. Then I found out I have BPD and it all makes sense.

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Jessica Aubé
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is insane This is literally my story Like , every part of it down to the cancer and I have already decided if I get it I won’t be having any treatment and I’m currently right now beyond it to hoping like hell I do have cancer I feel like this person just wrote my own story at me

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Dodo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same. I don't have cancer (AFAIK) but I already know that if I get it, I'm not fighting. And most of the time I hope I get it. The other day I saw a soap that's supposed to be bad for you because of cancer cases linked to it and my brain went 'hey, buy the soap!'

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Sue Bradley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On my bad days I try to hold onto the thought that one day I might feel better than I do today. I am the classic - have a smile on my face - work - but how I do it I really don't know. I know I'm not suicidal, but I want to feel real again. I work as a Carer looking after the elderly, I love my job, however it adds another layer of despair about my future, I have no pension, savings, and tbh the future just looks so bleak. It all consumes me everyday. X

zet_1 avatar
Zet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

oh dear! i am so sorry! i know how not the whole extend but just a little of how it feels!... Have you tried to do a medical checkup meaning: checking your hormones and if you have a chronic inflammation? Inflammations eat up a lot of Serotonin (we produce 90% of it in our intestines) if you have a chronic bowel inflammation it might "eat up" all your necessary Elements, your body needs to assimilate so it can produce the right Hormones to feel happy and properly function! i am also depressed and found out about my irritable bowel syndrome last year after almost 2 years of treatement.

lisac72 avatar
Not Proud British
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hear you. Sometimes I think you have to stop trying and just accept. Call our your feelings and emotions and just accept them like old friends. Everytime you try to change yourself, you end up feeling worse. Some people just aren't very positive. Learn to live with your feelings/emotions instead of fighting them all the time. See how that goes?

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Yevvie ART
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've learned to live with my depression as it with me since I was in elementary school. It's rough af, some months are worse and I just sit there staring at the wall, and some months are better when I'm almost-functioning adult. Though honestly, it makes it impossible to get and hold a job, as I never know whether I'll be able to think next week or be a human vegetable again...

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Lemonsito
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not sure if you've tried this, but try exercising. It helped me immensely when I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I know anxiety and depression are different things, but they both do affect you mentally and exercising boosts your mental health as well as physical.

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pusheen buttercup
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it best to try other things. Medicine that works can stop working over time. Finding not just the right new meds but the right dosage does take huuuge patience. Being patient with yourself too. It's bound to be depressing if you tried all these things and it hasn't worked- I understand that. Don't give up :) you can do it, even if the "it" is just a matter of years of patience. I found- for me, (and it's ok if you work differently)- that it's a combination of the right meds at the right dose with the right therapist and the right friends. All that takes time.

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Inna Drobi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you need a goal, something to dedicate your life to, if you're empty, you will be depressed

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Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

depression is horrible, no one understands, i hope you are well, and still moving forward. hugs

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Eithne Griffiths
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I started volunteering with street people,i am still on meds but I ave been changed so much.I love my "pepole" and I am also a street mom.

llama_flower93 avatar
Llama_flower93
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My recovery of depression began when I removed myself from a toxic environment and stopped believing the lies I was telling myself. I know that's not what will work for everyone, but that's what worked for me.

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Alessandra Ricotta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know what worked for me, I was depressed for years and of the verge of taking my own life. Even if depression is a chemical unbalance, it's still create by a problem or a sum up of problems you have, when I figured out what my problem was I started to do something about it.

paige_7 avatar
chaos kitten
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try looking into potential other problems that could be causing or worsening your depression, I was on a bunch of anxiety meds and antidepressants and they made things worse only for me to find out my main issue was adhd and I've been on meds for it for about a month and a half and it's helped more than I could ever believe Also having a good therapist u trust and like to talk to that makes u feel truly heard and understood u can really give you hope, just feeling like someone understands and helps even minimally is reassuring. There is hope and it will get better Just take it each day, baby steps, it starts with just one thing getting better a month, then a week, then every day and one day you'll realise how much u have progressed and how much better you feel Whoever is reading this know that you will get better, you're doing great and I'm proud of u Don't give up Just take it one day at a time

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Kjell Bergh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Professionals said I was a depressed alcoholic. Later I found out I suffer from GAD, and possibly BPD. Getting the right diagnosis really help. Slowly, veeeeery slowly, my life is getting better. So, don´t give up! Keep on fighting and it will get better for you to.

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Suzy the observer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So many of us barely function. We exist. We do not live. You know what? That is ok. It is ok to get thru today, then tomorrow one day at a time doing the minimum. As long as you wash and feed yourself, that's awesome and it will have to do if you cannot do more. It is ok to live an ordinary life and just do your best. Many pandas are struggling. We can struggle together.

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Maryanna Baldridge
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hear you completely. It's like managing depression is a full time job. Over the years I have learned that if I try too hard it gets worse. Making something else your focus and stepping back from all the treatment helps me mentally. Of course I am still on meds and in therapy, but making something else a priority (something just for me) helps tremendously.

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BasedWang
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not the way most of us wanna do it, but messing with different meds is the ONLY thing to help me. Even bought a pistol at 18 because in 3rd grade said I wanted to die before 30, and had almost a total breakdown near 28 to find out if I wanted to join the 27 club. Even offered people money and my gun to do it. well, turned 30 a few weeks back. everything is just Fn mundane, but Im not as sad.

aprl avatar
Aprl Fair
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They are only just starting to figure out how to recognize, diagnose, and treat this, we've spent far too long not talking about it.

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Maria Schneider
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does (potential) cancer seem like a way to leave this world? This might be an idea which stems from your depression. Perhaps do not stop to fight it - I know enough people who finally defeated it.

weatherwax716 avatar
Sarah Benedictus
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

depression can be from PTSD as well as many other reasons, check the criteria, then treat the cause, not the symptom

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Susan Wojcik
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

call someone RIGHT NOW....this is the first time I have ever wanted to post something saying this -if I ha your address or phone I would message you immediately - you are NOT alone!

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L.A. Trefry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I concur with everything above. I've done everything I can but still have to bat away the urge to just give up, every single day.

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Jessica
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe it's not solutions that you need. You might just need to get a moment to get a break in life. Or maybe you don't need to be solved, you might only need to be heard and loved.

x777r avatar
Ray Carrillo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While removing toxic elements in your life is important it can be even more important to seek joy. Find something you love and make time for it.

el_bali avatar
Mari
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand. I have a chronical depression, 10 years of therapy. I love my husband, my childeren and my family but I can't love myself. I take care of everyone but myself. I am here for the others, not for myself.

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Leslie Burleson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Psychedelic medicine is having tremendous success with treating depression, especially for patients who aren't having success with regular psych meds. Ketamine , LSD, MDMA, and even shrooms. Please don't give up. You can feel better

kkermes avatar
Kim Kermes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Physical illness can add to depression. Possibly the potential cancer has been lurking for a while. Please tell the doctor and please get treatment and stay with us.

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Deborah B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you had an in depth physical, including checking your hormone levels, vitamin and mineral levels, and your heartrate over 24 hours? Sometimes there's something going on physically, that presents as mental illness.

raeblack avatar
Rae Black
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can you follow up and let us know you're ok? Do you have CPTSD? I know the regular array of treatments, etc aren't as helpful for that.

paula_42 avatar
catslave6
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meditation? Magic (psilocybin) mushrooms? LSD? Electroshock therapy? Extreme perhaps, but said to work for some folks. Keep on keepin' on. I wish you well.

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I gave up on meds ages ago. Most worked for a year or two, then made things worse. Now, I practice emotion regulation and Jedi mind tricks, like knowing that even a fake smile will release "happy chemicals" in my brain.

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albernistuff 4sale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

google smiling depression... cleared up some mysteries for my case. Still stuck like you, but now have a starting point to try new options.

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BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's okay. You'll get through this eventually. Sometimes even the best treatments can't help, but just continuing to go on does.

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Raphael Biock
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You need a positive perspective for the future. A point you enjoy focussing on.

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Ozacoter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats easier said than done. How to be positive about the future when your brain tells you that it will never be positive? Or in my case when i know that i will never be healthy again or have the life i want.

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PiscesMama
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s strange how a terminal diagnosis changes your view of everything.

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Casey Burns
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's all about the mindset. As a person with previously detrimental habits I've personally learned simply living only for the day, taking my medicine and appreciating every little happy moment. Like getting a milkshake from McDonalds. It's the little things that change it all.

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#8

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask My finances - no idea how to properly manage my money.

FinnbarMcBride , Kyle Murphy Report

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James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Start by keeping a list of ALL of your spending, no matter how small an amount.

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#9

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Life.

Like what I supposed to be doing? I have about 80 years total. So far, I’ve learned stuff, got married, and got a good job. Am I just grinding out the rest of my years?

OPmeansopeningposter , Huy Phan Report

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Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ever since the earliest age, we are introduced and guided through a set of rules. As a result, we expect there's always a task, or a model image for us to emulate. But once you're out of school, there's no more guidance. Now it's up to you to guide others. So you have to change the approach to life. Stop thinking in terms of "supposed to do" and start with "what do I really want to do? What is it that makes me happy?" If you're not sure, try to accumulate different kinds of experience, be it through hobbies, friendships, education, travel, work etc. And keep observing how you do within these and how it makes you feel, whether you want to keep it, improve it, or leave it. You have way more freedom than you know.

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According to a representative of Age UK, it's vital that we keep our bodies and our minds in tip-top shape. The relationship between the two is well-established, so taking care of your body is bound to have a positive effect on your mind, too.

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"It is clear to scientists and doctors that keeping the blood vessels and blood flow healthy is also key to maintaining your brain function as you age so what is good for the heart is good for the brain too," Age UK points out.

However, some other things that help us stay curious and willing to learn and explore new things include having a strong sense of purpose and having an active social life as well. What's more, we ought to be as realistic as possible about our own limits and plan accordingly.

#10

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask My job.

Everyone says I'm doing great and praises me for being so efficient or being ahead on my training but I feel like I'm constantly having to ask questions and do extensive research on what the f**k I'm supposed to do in specific situations.

KleinLoki , Ant Rozetsky Report

#11

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Literally just standing still. I have terrible posture.

concernedcitizen4520 , Brady Wahl Report

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mulk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Strange walking is worst: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCLp7zodUiI

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#12

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Relationships. Throughout my life I've never gotten much romantic attention, and when I do receive it, I tend to be obnoxiously clingy, which leads to being left alone again. I don't know how to break this habit, because my emotions are just strong.

CrystalTear , Crew Report

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"Keeping active and busy and discovering new things and even making sure we stay socially active all help to keep us brighter as we get older. Setting goals and making plans gives our lives meaning and purpose, but make sure they’re realistic plans. For example, rather than saying ‘I plan to exercise for one hour every day,’ plan instead to go for a 20-minute walk, three times a week."

Finding the courage to admit that you’re doing something wrong is commendable. Being brave enough to set your ego aside and actually reach out for help is worth applauding, in my personal opinion.

Earlier, I had a chat about healthy and unhealthy ways of showing embarrassment with regards to our knowledge blindspots with Vanessa Bohns from Cornell University.

#13

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Anything related to being an adult, straight up no F**king idea what I’m doing…

Giftyd , Oleg Magni Report

#14

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Standing up for myself and maintaining boundaries. I'm working on it but it's hard because I am just figuring it out (kind of) and people keep trying to push me back to being the doormat I used to be. It's so tempting to be that person again because I hate disrupting the calm, but I was just so tired.

skeptic_narcoleptic , Uriel Mont Report

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Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In any situation (as long as a gun isn't pointed at you) stand up for your self even toward people who think they are superior to you because no one is!

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#15

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Supervising. I am put in the position, but just rely on the efficiency of my subordinates. As soon as there's someone who's lazy or a troublemaker, I've got to figure out how to approach it.

sinf_wacht , Christina Morillo Report

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Stephanie Keith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Be encouraging but direct. It takes a kind, humble, straight forward, strong minded, truthful, and understanding person to be able to manage other people. We tend to think calling people out or getting other's to do their job properly. Is somehow mean or we don't want to come off as bossy. But the right attitude and getting to know those you manage somewhat personally. Helps you figure out how to guide them. Just remember to encourage and be nice. People usually want to do what you say when they feel needed and lifted up.

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"We spend a lot of time and effort presenting an ideal version of ourselves to other people. When something happens that contrasts with the image we’ve been projecting—when we say or do something that shows we actually aren’t as graceful or as smart as we’d like people to believe—we feel embarrassed," Vanessa told Bored Panda in a previous interview.

"Discovering you were wrong about something most everyone else around you has long known to be true is one of those moments. In that moment we learn, 'Wait a minute, maybe I haven’t been presenting the image of being smart or worldly that I thought I was presenting all this time,' which is embarrassing,” she noted that embarrassment comes from the contrast from what we thought was true and what reality is actually like.

#16

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Showering. I have very very long thick hair and I just kind of blast shampoo and conditioner at it. People ask me what I do to keep my hair so nice and I have no idea what to say. People seem to have such complex hair rituals and I’m here just apeing it up.

SkylordZoey , Jaysin Trevino Report

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Joonscrab
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Humble brag lmao... I mean good for you for having thick healthy hair ig

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#17

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask General conversation I just suck at talking to people I don't really know or don't know at all. Sometimes when I get tips for stuff I respond "yes" or "ok" or "thank you" and even that feels weird or wrong, even the action of saying "hello" feels off... It even happens with firends sometimes...

Burcus254525 , cottonbro Report

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Truth Monster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try talking about the other person. Most people love talking about themselves. Find out about their hobbies, their pets, their favorite bands.

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#18

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Dating. Like how the f**k do you find people, that are equally interested in going out with you as you are with them. And then you somehow have to notice that they'd be interested in going out. I just don't understand it, and it sometimes makes me feel like I'll never go on one because of it

Ezechiell , René Ranisch Report

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MrOwlAteMyMetalWorm.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No no no ,the question is how the hell do people just agree to go on a date with humans they don't even know?! I am scared to go out with my friends.Forget that how do you trust ,it'll all be ok?What this blind faith?I am awkward just talking with humans I've known for decades.Dating is just plain scary.Well,relationships are scarier.But we somehow survive.

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However, embarrassment isn’t all that bad. In fact, it has some upsides that should have you rushing to embarrass yourself as often as you can. “One thing that’s interesting about embarrassment is that, for as much as we might experience it as painful in the moment, it’s actually very socially adaptive.”

Vanessa continued: “Being embarrassed signals to other people that you care about what they think. And that actually draws people in to you.” In short, embarrassment has painful short-term effects but very positive long-term effects. If we learn to deal with the former well, then we’ll be able to reap the latter.

#19

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Studying. I have no idea how other people do it. When I read something I retain very little of it, so I resort to writing down what I think are important details, which is most things for me, but it takes so long and I still have to rely on my brain to remember thing by simple repetition.

chocolateskittlez , energepic Report

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MelFunction
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Writing it down is the only way I retain information. It takes a really long time, but it's the only thing that really works for me.

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#20

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask How to handle anger? I'm too embarrassed to ask

Ok-Plastic-62 , engin akyurt Report

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Aman Varkkey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friends used the gym as a way to help vent a lot of frustration he has, he says that it helps him think things through.

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#21

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Is is bad to say everything I have no idea what the f**k I’m doing anymore

trippin_on_daydreams , Andrew Neel Report

“So blushing, burying your head in your hands, laughing, acknowledging how embarrassing something was, are all totally healthy ways to react,” Vanessa explained to Bored Panda. “The unhealthy way to react is to pretend you’re not embarrassed, that you didn’t make a mistake, or to get angry. Those things undo the positive effect of embarrassment typically has on other people by conveying insincerity and pushing people away rather than drawing them in.”

#22

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask When I started my first job I didn't know if an 8 hour work day meant including the break or not, and I was too afraid to ask.

Penguin-Fairy , Martijn van Exel Report

#23

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Parallel parking.

Poshbish , thienzieyung Report

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James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For me I either parallel park perfectly on the first attempt or it is a total catastrophe with nothing in between.

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#24

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Kissing. I’ve had no complaints but it’s not really something your parents taught you to do properly (unless you’re into that)

BenignFrustration , Daria Shevtsova Report

#25

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask How to speak up on problems or expressing certain emotions. I keep stuff bottled up inside

No_Leader_2711 , Kate Kalvach Report

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Maria Schneider
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because you are afraid of the possible reactions. Only trying and finding out you are accepted is helpful.

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#26

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask My PhD.

Going into my third year and I still don't feel as if I ever adjusted, or developed healthy habits.

Just trying to take it a day at a time and not procrastinate beyond no return.

ApolloThe3LeggedDog , Oladimeji Ajegbile Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stick with it. You’ll have the degree, instead of regrets about quitting when you were so close. A doctorate will also open more doors, especially in your field, so you’ll have jobhunting options. You’ll always have the fallback to teaching at the university level, where the real money is, as long as you stick with it long enough to gain tenure. Plus it allows you to continue doing research, and often fully funds it as well.

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#27

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Being a picky eater. So preparing food, I've been wanting to try new things, but I have no idea what to buy, how to prepare it, and it scares me to ask because I don't want it to sound like I'm some sort of alien.

PurpleStabsPixel , Wagner T. Cassimiro Report

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Katherine Boag
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best way (when there's no pandemic) is to ask a friend if you can try a bite of what they're eating. Or go to restaurants that encourage sharing. Or host a pot luck dinner

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#28

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask The proper way to wipe my butt after pooping.

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#29

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Writing. I love writing, and have written a few short stories older the years, and I show it to friends of mine who read, but every single person has said they loved it. I ask for constructive criticism, and sometimes they want the story to go differently, but it's so damn rare I get an opinion on my actual writing. My descriptions, vocabulary, the flow of the story, etc. Well, too scared to ask someone who will give me an actual opinion.

Maxtrix07 , cottonbro Report

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are writer communities online that proofread eachothers work. You can also hire a professional proofreader. Google is your friend.

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#30

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Relationships.

I recently started out in the dating scene and i dont know whats the difference between being a couple and being really good friends.

Also: sex is really strange to me.

Viking_Ship , Khamkéo Vilaysing Report

#32

I'm a girl. Not sure if I'm supposed to shave the thin blonde hairs in my thighs or not. Sometimes they look darker, but sometimes they look blonde.

I shave the rest of my legs ( below the knee), but I'm in my 30s. Feels like I should know this already....

busycleaning Report

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Jihana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The saddest part is that this woman thinks she is SUPPOSED to shave certain body parts.

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#33

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Gym exercises and weights. I am very afraid of the public gyms... I opted to buy my own weights and machines but... When lifting stuff I don't know if I am carrying too much or too little. Is it supposed to not hurt? My back hurts a bit when I'm doing basic stuff like dumbells.

Gunnard-Magnuson , Jennifer Feuchter Report

#34

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Babysitting. I babysat a few times when I was 13 or 14, and I wasn’t sure if I was just supposed to check in on the kid, or play with them, or just like, make sure they're good. I’m really good at kid-sitting, but babysitting (or for me watching a kid under 7 years old) is just hard.

Teabeany , Lina Kivaka Report

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SentimentAndBadJokes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This just comes naturally to some people I guess. I've always loved little kids, and know how to interact with them, but can relate with very few people in my own age groups. Different people relate with different folks?

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#35

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Riding a bike. I hopped on one for the first time in 15+ years and loved it! So I bought a bike. But... I don't know if I'm shifting and turning and doing the road rules correctly. Are there resources for grown adults who can stop, go, dismount, but not much else?

abqkat , Dan Zen Report

#36

Trying to save my 16 year marriage. My wife (35f) told me (35m) she wants a divorce (2 weeks before Im supposed to have spinal fusion surgery) and hopes we can figure out how to be friends for our 2 boys.

She has had a few emotional affairs (nothing physical), and is a bit of a narcissist (blames everyone else for her problems, and takes no responsibility. Accusess anyone who disagrees with her as attacking her, Refuses counseling, and has for years) and appears to be using this as a way to create content (tiktok). I freely admit, Im not perfect and have caused issues in our marriage.

therealcapthowdy Report

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She doesn’t sound worth fighting for. Cheating emotionally is way WORSE then just physically. Lust can happen, even though in a good relationship you’d never act on it, but being emotionally attached to someone else means the current relationship is done.

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#37

Thinking, every time I speak someone say how what I just said is wrong and they are right

georgeps1234 Report

#38

Programming.

I mean, I mostly understand the concepts, but I struggle and fail WAAAY more often than I succeed.

Dathouen Report

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Mohsie Supposie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We all do... Every programmer does. At least, that is how I have managed to learn programming.

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#39

Parenting my child who is 12, born female but just asked us to use him/they pronouns and a male name. I’m a lesbian. My (37F) wife (47F) and I fully support our kiddo. But my thoughts wander, because I don’t feel like this kid is trans. I think they are on a journey of self discovery. Then I feel guilty. I just want to be 100% supportive. I am ashamed to be a member (advocate, equal rights-fighting lesbian) of the LGBTQ++ community and yet feel so helpless and confused.

thesebreezycolors Report

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Vicki Louise
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw recently that Angelia Jolies kid has gone back to using female pronouns after insisting on being called John for years. Just be supportive, if it's a phase then they'll grow out of it naturally no matter how you respond. Better to be there for them than to make them feel like you don't understand them.

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#40

Not currently, but for the first 3 years neither my gf nor I knew how to use a can opener. We broke many over the years using them at 90° angles until finally I googled it.

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#41

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Brushing my teeth. Why do the foam tend to dribble down my chin and sometimes down my right arm? When did I bite the toothbrush? Why does my toothbrush wear out in a month? How do I brush my tongue well enough?

And washing my hair. I feel I over-wash it, but if I try lessening the washing, my hair sounds foamy when I dry it. Everyday, I live in the fear of shampoo still left in my hair.

charlie_wonka , Judy Van Impe Report

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Yevvie ART
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Massage, not brush. Use a soft toothbrush. Take your time - divide your mouth into 4 sections and brush each for 30s. Use only a pea-sized amount of toothpaste. With hair, wash only the hair on your scalp and let the soapy water go down your whole hair to clean it while rinsing. This way you don't overdry your ends, as they need the oils to keep alive. The amount of shampoo and the type will depend on your hair. In my teens I needed to wash my short hair twice to get grease out, in my late 20s I need a lot more shampoo but only one wash as my hair is porous and dyed. Don't be afraid to experiment!

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#42

My marriage and dealing with mental health.

For starters, I’m 23 my wife is 21. I have pretty much ruined my marriage, what’s killing me is I don’t know how. We’re both in the Army. She went home for a medical emergency 2 weeks ago for 10 days. All she did was drink and party. Barely talked to me at all. Told me to leave her alone. She comes back. Acts super shady. Changed her password and sleeps with her phone under her pillow and when I ask who she’s talking to she says don’t worry about it or nobody. She wears glasses so I can clearly see her switching from Snapchat to another app… Got on her MacBook to talk to my mom on Skype and her texts popped up. Her friends were encouraging her to go hook up with an ex. She hung out with this dude several times when she was there. I am 90% sure she cheated on me. This weekend is our anniversary and she’s doing a girls weekend. I have no idea what to do. I try talking to her and she says she wants space and a break. I’m super f**king depressed. As I’m writing this I am on my 30th hour without sleep. I can’t get out of my own head. Im so depressed and I’m so alone. I’m so tired. Any advice is welcome. Not sure if this is the right place to post this

AlwaysLurking1997 Report

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, get a divorce, this is clearly not working out. Then take some time to heal and love yourself, then go out and meet new people. You’ll find someone else. Someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.

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#43

That I care way more for people than they care for me

__Valkyrie___ Report

#44

Handling my partners depression and newly developed suicidal thoughts

Callmemuddled Report

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Maria Schneider
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe because you tried to help and found out you can't. Sounds hard, but you really can't. Simply BE THERE.

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#45

35 People Share Things That Confuse Them But They're Too Afraid To Ask Shaving.

LexLuthorJr , lokieduc8 Report

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently I can't shave properly coz I don't use anything except water and a razor. I thought that's how everyone shaved (except beards) until a friend told me that I'm supposed to use a cream, soap or lotion etc. Tried it, but found it irritating so I just do it the way I've always done it.

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#46

How to lock the petrol pump so I don't have to hold the handle the whole time will refueling. I know there's a little latch down there somewhere but it never works for me..

PeachfuzzX Report

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eeeeeeeee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is no longer legal in the UK, (for obvious reasons) so it no longer works (unless you are a truck driver, as the guy says below, with a special device).

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#47

I've been living in my first apartment ever since april 2020. I vacuum clean regularly, but I never cleaned the floor with water. Is that bad? How do I get rid of the water on the floor, does it just dry up? I'm sorry for the noob question but I was literally too scared to ask somebody.

KevDero Report

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Dotti blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should vacuum once or even better twice a week. Your bath and kitchen should be cleaned with water every week, if you don't wear shoes inside, for the rest of the apartment, once a month wet cleaning is enough. You buy a mop, you put a bucket with water and cleaning detergent (special one for every floor type or an allrounder), you wet the mop and wring it out until it is not really wet any more, then you swipe a little part of the floor - repeat until finished. It is a very intense work. If there is water left on the floor wipe it up with another towel. Do not let the water on the floor! it will destroy your floor and if it is a lot or done often, even the apartment underneath yours.

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#48

Being a dad. I think I’m doing okay at it, but won’t really know for a few years.

StefeSoo Report

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James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the first couple of years, the fact my son woke up every morning and I hadn’t accidentally killed him was my big achievement in my mind. Then I started to feel like I was doing ok.

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#49

Why Im just a loaner. Something about me drives people away. I'm too blind to see it but no it to be true. I have never been anyone's best friend. No friends reach out to me. I'm never invited anywhere. I'm obviously doing something wrong but not sure I want to find out.

mrmeanah Report

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eeeeeeeee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Find someone else who seems alone and reach out to them. Most people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice others, especially if you are quiet and waiting for them to come to you. There are many people alone and feeling like you are. Find some! Make your own friend group!

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#50

I don't know how to use spices and seasonings while cooking. The main ingredients are always cooked well but are missing something.. I only know how to add salt but anything else scares me like...do i add a tiny bit of spices? a handful? do i mix stuff together and hope it tastes good? I have no idea despite coming from a culture that uses a lot of seasoning. Everything I have learned to cook is white people food because my culture's food takes so long to prepare and cook my mom can't stand anyone in the kitchen with her during it >__< rip.

froggywitch Report

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Yevvie ART
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Experiment! Try with a little bit, sprinkle it throughout the food, see if you like it like that, up the amount next time if it still feels lacking. Over the years you'll find what you like and in what amount.

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#51

Calculus 2

This happened last semester. I was horrible at integrals and didn't want my classmates to find out how much of a dumbass I was.

BrownSugar08 Report

#52

Empathy. I don’t know if I experience empathy normally or if it’s too low.

Elliot_The_Idiot7 Report

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Evil Little Thing
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Neurotypical people do not need to learn empathy because it comes naturally, but a certain subset of every population has different frontal lobe function and low-activating mirror neurons, and we don't naturally understand other people's feelings. We can learn cognitive empathy and we can decide to respect other people's feelings even if we don't understand them.

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#53

There's so many big life things in here, mine all feel simple. I'm not sure how to shave, nobody ever taught me so I kind of just do whatever to shape my face up. Making coffee, how many scoops do I use? But what 30 year old man asks how to make coffee? Cooking is hard in general but I just make things until they look or taste done. HOW DO I PROPERLY CLEAN MY HEDGEHOGS CAGE ON A 3RD STORY APARTMENT? You can just dust s**t off outside... or can you? What if it gets on my neighbors stuff?

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#54

The balance between being emotionally mature and a pushover. I can never seem to get the balance right and I always end up being a b**** or getting walked all over

Marionette777 Report

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Daniela Skovajsova
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do what feels right to you. How people perceive you is their issue, not yours. If you express your self authentically (you do not judge, you express your feelings, what is going on inside of you), then you can sleep soundly and stop caring so much about other peoples’ opinions. Notice the difference between “You look good” and “I like the way you look.” First one is judgment (even when positive) and the other one is expressing your opinion and/or feeling. Another example is “You piss me off” and “I am angry with what you just said/did.” Good for you to ask this, I hope you will find your way!

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#55

Using Reddit. Specifically the quote feature. No idea how to do it. (Exclusively using Reddit app on iPhone).

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Albino
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Highlighting it in the test (when answering), it gives you that option then.

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#56

I'm worried I made a bad decision. Everyone tells me it was a good decision but it feels wrong.

I was self employed, doing pretty well, making ends meet. I made my own schedule, the work changed often, I loved what I was doing. But I was not declaring any income, not paying taxes, no insurance, no way to expand....basically no future until I died working...but I was happy.

I got a "real" job. I now work in a factory. Paying taxes, have health insurance, paid weekly with no variability, bonuses...and I hate it. No climate control, 50 hours a week minimum, 2nd shift, bringing home less money after everything. I keep telling myself I am doing this so I can buy my house in 2 years...but I don't think this job will ever make more than 45k/yr. I feel like once again I am gonna die working but this time it will be miserable doing something I hate instead of happy doing something I love.

But everyone else feels comfortable with it, so Its gotta be right, right?

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Demi Zwaan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uhm, what about being your own boss ánd not being fraudulent? You can pay taxes, get insurance, etc. while being self employed…

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#57

Therapy. My psychologist constantly tells me it's small steps but it feels like nothing is changing. He wants me to catalogue each day devoid of emotion and it feels so pointless. What does it matter if I spent all day playing a game and then the next reading? Most of my anxiety is from external sources that I can't control and therapy hasn't reduced it at all so far. This is my third therapist, my second one did help but I moved. Basically I set a few goals and it feels like I'm not even moving towards them. It's gotta be me doing something wrong because I know he's a talented and qualified therapist. Or maybe I'm just expecting results too soon.

Tbf my issues are complex. But idk. I just want to be better.

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#58

When they say 2% milk, I don’t know what the other 98% is.

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#59

Oxford commas.

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Sleazy Weaver
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The Oxford comma is the comma after the second to last item in a list of things. Let's say we're writing a grocery list. Without an Oxford comma, it would be "eggs, milk, bacon and bread." With an Oxford comma it would be "eggs, milk, bacon, and bread." It separates bacon from bread with a comma. It comes after the second to last word, before the word and. This can be very useful when seeing two things as related could change the context completely. For example, "The party had strippers, Washington and Lincoln." With an Oxford comma you would be able to tell I'm saying strippers were at the party, as well as Washington and Lincoln. Without the comma, it can be read as though Washington and Lincoln are the strippers. Hope this makes sense for anyone confused about the Oxford comma!

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#60

My whole job lol. I didn’t ask questions when I first started and now all of a sudden I’m a manager but I don’t know how to do anything

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DumYum
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just have your department each submit their job description to you. Say you need it to make sure they understand all their job responsibilities. LOL

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#61

Planning with friends. I feel as though if I'm ever a part of some hang out with my friends it's because I'm the one that's setting it up. It seems like I'm not really invited to anything and i don't really know how to approach that. I don't feel as though they don't want to hang out with me but I also don't wanna be the guy who demands he gets invited to stuff and I don't really know how to take this.

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Paradise
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"You saw *Movie*? I hear thats a good one, cant wait to see it. Next movie let me know I'm up for it!" "A pottery class? sounds cool, maybe I can join you sometime."

#62

Walking, it's silly I know. But I broke my leg when I was 2 and according to family learned to walk with a cast, then had to learn to walk without it again. I just know my walk is messed up because of it, but I'm afraid that if I ask my Dr for a referral to fix it that she won't take me seriously. It's kinda also why I don't run, my run is worse

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Yevvie ART
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just tell your doc the story and ask for help. Walking wrong can affect your spine and cause you a lot of posture problems over the years, so for your own wellbeing, try to go and get it fixed. If you're dead serious, they'll take you serious. If they wont, go to another doc.

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#63

I've been driving for 15 years and when a merge lane is ending with no cars around I don't know what I should actually be doing. It was only just recently when my buddy driving turned into the ending side of passing lane almost right away that I was like hmm? Wonder if I'm doing wrong all along

I'm just lazy and stay in the closing lane until the end

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Spring Fisk
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did not really learn this till latter in life but it is considered polite to try to merge as soon as you see that your lane is merging. People get grumpy if you go all the way to the end and then merge. It ends up slowing down traffic and it is kind of like you are cutting in line.

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#64

I got my Bachelors in Chemistry this Spring and have sent out a nice few resumes and had one interview (didn't get the job) but now I have no idea what I want to keep doing. There isn't many opportunities in my province and the thought of having to possibly move to the other side of Canada alone to a place where I know no one and have never been before is terrifying.

While I was still in uni I had a set routine of what I can expect to be doing for the next year but now that is all gone and I feel so lost. Do I stick around here for god knows how long and try and get a job related to my degree in this province? Do I go back to school next year and try and do something else to go along with my degree (Education degree or something)? Do I bite the bullet and move away knowing that it will wreck me mentally? I have no idea

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beastmachine.
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well sometimes you need to move out of your comfort zone to achieve something, I too am leaving my hometown for Uni next week and I too am scared but hey man you aren't alone, everyone faces these problems. You could also try online/distance learning couses if you aren't still able to move away for jobs.

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#65

Using the clutch on a manual vehicle. I have heard you're not supposed to keep the clutch depressed while your approaching stop lights or standing at them. They say it wears more when you do, but I never understood how. The way I understand clutches, they should wear less while the clutch is disengaged because all the parts that wear are not pressed into each other causing friction.

I use my clutch a lot when I drive at low speeds, because no one ever told me you shouldn't until i had the habits built. No one has ever been able to explain the problem to me, even with some googling.

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Hayhaypaula
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you don't depress the clutch at a stop, your engine will stall, since giving it any gas would make it move the car forward. Did someone tell you to put the gear in neutral when you stop? That would let you let the clutch up without stalling the engine, but it isn't an efficient way to drive. I keep my clutch in at a stop, or when slowing, and use that time to shift into the gear number that I will need next (usually first gear at a stop). I also use a combo of partial clutch and gas to keep my car from rolling back on a hill! This is a skill - not a failing. Clutches don't wear out that fast. Don't worry about it!

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#66

My degree, I'm not exactly failing but I'm not doing too good either and I know I could do better if I just tried, but I just don't have the anymore

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Kristin Ingersoll
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe take a break? Go work for a year. Give some serious thought to if the degree is what you want. Would a different degree get you interested and engaged again? If you take time off and find yourself happier, then maybe school isn't right for you right now. Maybe take a longer break? It sounds like you need to shake things up, no matter what.

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