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Relationships are all about communication, but let’s face it, that’s often easier said than done. The result is that in many, failed relationships, there are a decent amount of things that ended up left unsaid.
Someone asked people to share “the one thing you never told your ex?” and netizens spilled their guts. From heartbreaking revelations to funny tit-bits, get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below.
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#1
That sometimes, while I was asleep, I'd wake to her petting my hair and telling me that she loved me. She said it in such a loving, quiet voice, it felt almost secret. In those moments, I had never felt so loved. I'd pretend to still be asleep while fading back into it so she wouldn't get embarrassed. We broke up later but I still cherish those moments.
Diana Burnwood 1 year ago (edited)
It's about things people won't tell their ex's, ever. It would ruin the list if they stuck together, wouldn't it?
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Kim Lorton 1 year ago
Awww! That was a very touching moment! Not secret more as it was very intimate!
RELATED:
#2
The day I left was the best day of my life. Not the wedding, not when the kiddo finished kindergarten or high school. When I finally had enough and realized what was happening was abuse and it happens to men, too.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
It does happen to men too. I'm a survivor. My ex used to get whiskey drunk and beat the c**p out of me. I never hit back because I have 50lb on her and I'd be the one in jail. Glad she's gone and the restraining order makes sure that's the case.
Laugh or not 1 year ago
I am glad you got out of it. I hope you have the help you deserve - and not only the restraining order.
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Anya Foxx 1 year ago
My husband was in an abusive relationship, and it still haunts him. Anybody who thinks that men can't be abused by women is ignorant. Men just get treated badly if they speak up because of stupid stereo typing that men can't or shouldn't press charges when they get beat on by an abusive woman or male partner.
Angela Darling 1 year ago
Men NEED a # movement...trauma and abuse they suffer/suffered is MORE difficult for them to overcome IMO -because they think they have failed as 'masculine'...as 'men'.
MacintoshID 1 year ago
Same thing for me. Left because there was no marriage left. After I moved I had the older desktop PC and as I was cleaning up files on weekend I came across a bunch of files that had emails from his current email account as well as my own. He had been cheating on me for years! He even bragged to an old friend that he had three at one time, while I was moving out! So glad this happened and I was able to prove to myself I could make it on my own. To this day, I suspect he thinks I will come crawling back to him. Sorry dude, you are the last thing I want to see or hear from.
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
Of course it can happen to both sexes physically but often verbally. Women are sometimes very cruel in the way they speak to their men without even being consciously controlling.
Megalodon Meg 1 year ago
I can't tell if you're saying something negative about OP or positive?
Load More Replies... #3
That he's gay. I remember the party in college where I walked in on him kissing our friend Daniel. We just never talked about it again. And once I announced the divorce, everyone mentioned that he was gay. They thought it was some big secret we were all agreeing not to discuss.
I just wish he'd get on with it and live his life openly now. But I realize there must be tremendous pain keeping him from that. So I'll keep loving him as a friend and family member, raising our daughter as coparents.
I'm happy and remarried. I hope he finds what he needs someday. He's an amazing dad.
ADZ 1 year ago
The mount of gay guys still in my generation (millenial) that are in the closet is crazy. Parents and family threaten them. Mostly from wealthy families who threaten to cut them off or from inheritance if they don't keep it a secret, get married and have kids. Truly depressing.
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Betty Vanderhooven-SchmaaSchmaa 1 year ago
And you sound like an amazing woman. What a fortunate child.
*Confused Screaming* 1 year ago
I’m glad he’s living his life without the burden of his ex-wife being an additional challenge, and instead she continued to support him
Jessie 8 months ago
“The burden of his ex-wife??”. Honestly he would’ve deserved a nasty response, he literally cheated on her.
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Tom De Paul 9 months ago
Presence of a daughter, assuming biological, means he's probably bisexual.
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
That is really very loving and touching! I know he loves you right back for these emotions, and being there for him!
It can be very hard to tell a person a hard truth, even, in fact particulate, if you love them. The truth hurts is an old adage for a reason and most of us don’t actually want to hurt the people who are important to us. It’s even worse when one is dealing with something that happened between them and an ex or really any important figure from the past.
While, in the moment, it might be easier to stay silent, psychologists believe that it still helps with closure. After all, the folks in this article still felt the need to share the words left unsaid with someone, even if it was random people on the internet.
#4
She wanted to improve her own fitness, so she wanted to work out with me. Every time we ran together I would run at half speed, breath heavily and pretend like I was exhausted. It helped her feel encouraged, that she was able to keep up, and that she was improving. When we’d go out to Asian restaurants she’d insist on using chopsticks. She was terrible, so I always tried to out-do any blunders she made. If she struggled to pick something up, I’d pretend the chopsticks slipped out of my hand, or resort to stabbing food in an exaggerated way. I’m Asian… I’ve been using chopsticks longer than I’ve been using spoons and forks. She’d always gleefully laugh at me and never caught on to the fact that everytime she was done eating my chopstick errors significantly dropped. Lastly, she loved falling asleep next to me but kicked and spasmed in her sleep. She was a heavy sleeper and I wasn’t so this sleeping arrangement didn’t really work out but she was always so happy to go to sleep and wake up next to me. A lot of times if she kicked me awake I’d sleep on the floor, get up slightly before her alarm, and scoot back next to her like nothing happened so she wouldn’t feel bad. I got burned by that relationship pretty badly but I have every intention of continuing to do those little things for my future partners. Just waiting for the right person to do them for.
Kathrin Pukowsky 1 year ago
This is insincere and belittling. Not sure whether OP is a people pleaser who will always feel "burned" by relationships because they don't get the appreciation they subconsciously believe they deserve for doing stuff nobody knows about and never asked for, or gets an ego boost from being the "suprior, selfless saint" who pretends to be slower or clumsier so their slow, clumsy partner doesn't look as bad. And sleeping on the floor; how about talking about things like adults? Reading this raised the hairs on the back of my neck. It reeks of somebody who looks down on their partner but won't admit it, and the "she never caught on" just cements that impression.
Ansi 1 year ago
I agree this is a very unhealthy relationship. I don't know who's playing who, but they are definitely better apart.
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Riley Quinn 1 year ago
Not impressed with OP's attitude because it's a lie. You let toddlers win a game, up to the point when it's time for them to learn winning isn't guaranteed. OP is treating his relationships like they are toddlers.
Betty Vanderhooven-SchmaaSchmaa 1 year ago
I think I'd be royally peeved to find out my partner did this. Admitting that he became exhausted from doing this is proof of how wrong it is.
kath morgan 1 year ago
No thankyou. Sleeping on the floor for no reason? This is not how partners behave.
bob cameron 1 year ago
Sounds to me like you are/were trying to be considerate. I respect you for it
naksaystheduck 1 year ago
The thing about doing sport together is kinda cute, but everything else feels a bit weird and too submissive to me. Why not just show her how to use chopsticks? You can teach people in a nice way, without making them feel stupid. Sleeping on the floor instead of just telling her that her movements at night are keeping you awake, oh dear... I can't imagine anyone would take it personal if you'd let them know this.
#5
I know she faked an "emergency" phone call and left my apartment in a hurry one night because she had sh*rted herself. Unbeknownst to her there was some trace evidence left where she was sitting on the couch. I cleaned the spot, flipped the cushion, and I never let on that I knew what had really happened.
Brittany Grawe 1 year ago
Sort of small compared to the other confessions on this page, but this probably everything to her.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I would have died of embarrassment.
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Betty Vanderhooven-SchmaaSchmaa 1 year ago
A friend, years ago, told me a story about having inter course in the back of their car one night when she "got too excited" and did this..she doesn't know if her BF knew what happened.
#6
The heartfelt letter she wrote to her dying bff was returned bc she put the wrong address. He passed away while the letter was en-route back to her. I threw it in the trash.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
It's a horrible thing to happen, but better like that. The guilt would have eaten her up had she known, at least that's how I would feel in such a case, so it's better she never has to find out
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
This is not sneaky or malicious, but empathetic to a situation that could never be changed. Sometimes the truth isn't necessary.
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
Yep, sometimes, the smallest things we do, make the hurting less. The letter returned, would’ve killed her for sure! ❤️💜
MacintoshID 1 year ago
You did the right thing. Best that she feels that the words in that letter where taken with her bff. I would want someone to do the same sort of thing if it was me.
Let’s face it, in many cases, it is best to discuss and divulge things early to not let them build up for later. Fortunately, many of the examples are a tad more lighthearted. It seems unlikely that someone is truly dying to tell their ex that, actually, they simply let them win at every board game.
#7
The real reason I broke up with her was because I caught myself going through her phone on a regular basis. The last time I did it, it hit me like a bag of bricks. I knew it was me and not her. I developed trust issues from past relationships.
I was so in love with her, I didn't feel she deserved to be with someone not in a healthy place.
I tried my hardest to trust her but couldn't. I still haven't gotten past her and it's been 6 years.
That behavior scared me so much, I haven't been in a relationship since and have focused on me. I think I scared myself so badly, I am avoiding relationships out of the fear I'll have the desire to do that again.
Now she's engaged and here I am... On Reddit. Confessing my crazy behavior.
Quint Bates 1 year ago
Hey, you noticed it and are trying to fix it. It shows that you are capable of changing unlike so many people out there who just keep on keeping on being crazy
GPawesomeness 1 year ago
Exactly, as opposed to people that think that is normal..........
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Veldrin Dalharil 1 year ago
Sometimes the hardest, and most painful thing, is to admit you are not healthy for someone. That was a very brave and painful thing to do and I hope you've been kind to yourself as you grow. I'm happy she was able to be happy past you and I hope that you can find happiness in yourself AND another some day as you feel and balanced enough to seek that out.
Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
I respect that you are so self-aware. I hope things pan out for you, too.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
☹️. My ex was constantly asking me if there was someone else, or if I was sure he was the only one. My answer was always yes, and that was the truth. But it was me and broke up with him in the end, because I didn’t love him. I hope he knows just how exhausting it was to constantly assure him i wasn’t seeing any one else.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
Maybe he could sense you weren't (couldn't be) completely committed to him. And there was someone else - this phantom you believed you could love totally.
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#8
That his dog was seeking him out in her dying moments. He had rescued a little girl from a dog fighting puppy mill, and raised her by himself until we met. I instantly loved her and for a year into our relationship I got to watch the two of them build trust and train and play everyday. She was his whole life as when he saved her, he had no one else regarding family or friends, in a very depressed state. Around our 1 year anniversary she got sick. I woke up one day with a very bad feeling, only to look around and find her sitting in a pool of blood and p**s. Without hesitation we took her to the vet non stop and payed for any and every test we could. She was young still, 2 and a half. They all came back negative, and she was a fully vaccinated dog. One Sunday, after 5 days of fighting with antibiotics and getting her to eat, cleaning up blood and p**s and taking out any savings we both had to pay off doctors, she passed. They were both a sleep on the couch (we took turns sleeping) and I was dozing off from the exhaustion. I saw her around 5am wake up, she tried moving around trying to get to her dad but she was too weak and he was too tired. I didn't realize what was happening, why she suddenly wanted to be with him so much. I sat with her, telling her that it would be okay and the minute the vet was available we would head over for painkillers. We would find what was hurting her and that she wasn't alone. I covered her with a blanket and fell asleep on the floor before I realized it. 9 am same day she had joined the other angels. To this day, I have some of her ashes and I just keep thinking I should of woken him up, or helped her. For the longest time he blamed himself for not being with her in her final moments. We never found what killed her, autopsy wasn't an option.
Mike F 1 year ago
My pittie developed tumors on her insides. She went from being an excited puppy to staggering virtually overnight. She did the same thing passing blood in her urine so I took her to the vet. He xrayed her and didn't have much hope but agreed to do a surgery on her the following day. She didn't live out the night but thankfully she was on pain meds so she wasn't in pain when she died. Man, we become attached to them.
Prince Lee 1 year ago
my first dog, he wasso sick, the morning he passed, he pooped all over himself, i picked him up, not a lil dog, and took him out, he managed to stay standing while i cleaned him but laid the sec he was done, i realized he was hurting and i gave up, i went up to tell my mom, we need to put him down he's in to much pain and i cant watch it, i came back down and .....he was gone.... he waited till i left his side for 2 mins and passed so i didn't watch it
Prince Lee 1 year ago
my second one, he has a anul rupture, wehad no money to help him, but he acted normal only needing pain meds here and there, then the last day he just... kinda laid around, cudded to me, finally i was so tired and picked him up and helped him on my pillow like he always slept and he just licked me for a bit then made the same whine to be put in his bed with his brother, and so i picked him up and just as i was about to place him in his bed..... he peed and just went limp, i felt him pass....i held him for an hour while his brother kept siting with us and pawing his side like he did to always wake to play......
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Donna Peluda 1 year ago
My babe is snoring on my lap. she's 15 and still active but slowing down and getting disoriented sometimes. I love her so much.
MoMcB 1 year ago
Our family dog died with similar symptoms when I was 14. She was poisoned. Four other dogs close by also died. We believe poisoned meat was thrown into the gardens, as all were beloved pets. Had a good idea who did it, couldn't prove anything.
Just stopping by 1 year ago
I would never want to know this if I were him. I couldn't handle it ever. It could be 10 years after the fact and I couldn't handle it. My dog is my baby.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
They did the best they could. At least the dog learned what love is.
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weatherwitch 1 year ago
You were Not to know. I think we beat ourselves more over our pets dying than our human family. To be honest, puppy mill farm dogs suffer dreadful issues it could have been so many different things. You both sound like you did so much for her, you weren't to know and you tried to give her comfort in her last hours and tried to let your boyfriend sleep as he would be further exhausted when he woke later to get her straight to the vets once they were open. I'm so sorry this secret hurts you so much 😞❤️
#9
I know that wasn’t the dog’s fart.
Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
Yeah, I mean, this only means you are really comfortable with each other.
Just-4-2day 1 year ago
Our family calls that "Barking Spiders". Loud, but impossible to see. You know those spiders can hide under chairs, right?
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
This is a problem in a cat household since cats rarely fart and there's very little noticeable odor. Not that my ex didn't try to blame his farts on the cats...
Craig Reynolds 1 year ago
There is no mistaking a dog's fart versus a human's. If your dog run's away from its fart you had best do the same, quickly...
Rachel 1 year ago
My family’s beloved much-missed golden Rusty cleared rooms on a regular basis. “Rusty farted!” meant it was time to run!
Load More Replies... After all, it’s no surprise that most gags in your average sitcom, inevitably, come from some characters miscommunicating or leaving something out. It’s a pretty common human experience at this point. So like with many things in life, it’s important to not beat yourself up too much and just use your best judgment.
#10
My ex's parents were separated, so we often found ourselves at her mom's place. Her mom, a high-powered CEO in New York, rarely engaged in casual conversation. However, one night, amidst her job stress, she surprised us by joining in for a laid-back evening. Nestled in her fantastic Manhattan loft, we relished the opportunity to escape our sweltering college dorms during the summer. On this particular night, as my ex and I stayed over, her mom seemed a touch envious of our city escapade and decided to join us for a nostalgic early 2000s movie and a nightcap. As the evening unfolded, my ex dozed off, and I couldn't help but notice her mom consuming the lion's share of the wine. She became unusually chatty, delving into personal questions and fixing me with a lingering gaze. When the movie ended, I suggested that i’d probably leave my ex on the couch and that i would probably just take the floor. However, her mom unexpectedly proposed sharing her bedroom. Politely, I declined, and it's a secret I've kept from my ex ever since.
Dahamada Jamawas 1 year ago
Imagine your ex being aware of that situation - so you would now all three have a secret not telling each other
#11
We should’ve broken up after that first fight 6 weeks in instead of 3 and a half years later. You’re my biggest regret.
Alexandra 1 year ago
6 weeks vs 3.5 years......you can't reclaim time, so spend it wisely and with the ones you love.
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Beachbum 1 year ago
I can kind of feel this. My and my x, however we didn't break up, he passed away. I wish I would have just let him leave that night we got into an arguement, he had stuffed packed and everything, I talked him into staying. I totally regret that, wated fie really good years on him
Rahb in Oz 1 year ago
NO blame in you wanting it to work. If I had ended it after our first major fight, which I didn't understand, we would not still be together 16 years later!
Amanda Pack 1 year ago
We should have stayed broken up at the 1 year mark, instead of getting back together and wasting another 11 years 😖
#12
I exposed her for stealing at work. Yahtzeeee.
Was stealing tips from a tip pool. So from all her coworkers.
PeepPeep the duck 1 year ago (edited)
I hate the tip pool for this amongst other reasons, like you work hard for those tips, you should have to pool it.
#13
That I knew the last time she tried to talk me into having sex, she was trying to pin her pregnancy from her trip to Florida on me.
Shark Lady 1 year ago
In the UK one in six children are living with a male parent who they are not biologically related to - whether they are aware of it or not. A forensic anthropologist, who I am a fab of, once quoted her grandmother, saying "you always know who your mother is, but you only have your mother's word for who your father might be" obviously there are exceptions and this was a bit tongue in cheek.
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That it isn’t normal for him (18) and his sister (23) to shower together on a regular basis…. And no it was not to preserve water because they were loaded af.
rorschach-penguin 1 year ago
I sincerely hope that's why they're exes. (Although it isn't inconceivable that people try to preserve water because they care about the environment, rather than for financial reasons; water is dirt cheap.)
Molly Whuppie 1 year ago
I'd have probably said something myself. He is 18 and she is 23. That means if it has been going on for even a short while, he was a minor when she was an adult. Thats abuse.
Golpandoodle 1 year ago
Water is a scarce resource only if there are restrictions in your region. Water is an infinite resource, the amount of sweet water has been the same for thousands of years. Don't they teach the water cycle in primary school anymore?
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#15
Oooooh had to hop on the alt account for this one! When I was 22, I had a baby with my ex and we gave them up for adoption. I should have gotten an abortion, but I got scared so I ended up carrying to full term and letting a great family adopt them. Less than 5 people know about this. It's my biggest skeleton in my closet.
Elemcie 1 year ago
You made the best of a sad situation. If you had an abortion which would have been reasonable if you couldn't raise the child, you would likely still have this secret. But you did help a child you couldn't raise find a family. That's lovely of you.
Alexandra 1 year ago
And you made a family very happy. You did absolutely the right thing.
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Cathy Jo Baker 1 year ago
As an adopted child, I thank you. It was hard to do what you did, but everyone involved is much better off.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
As a much wanted bio child, I agree with you entirely Cathy. What every child needs and deserves, is to be wanted. I'm glad you and I were.
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Randall MacDonald 1 year ago
Of all of the memorable things in my life, the best thing that ever happened to me was when my late mother adopted me. I have never been as close to someone as I was to her. Between her and my dad, through all the trouble I've been in, they still loved me.
meeeeeeeeeeee 1 year ago
Why do people on Reddit always announce when they're not using their usual account?
Raven Hayden Rudnik 1 year ago
I was once roasted fow how my fake a count look like and people ignored My whole post, and just commented on the account, so that might be why xd. It was so unhinged i swear
Load More Replies... Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
Thank you for making the hard choice and blessing a family with a child.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
At least you had the option to carry it to term. I suspect a lot of folks terminate their pregnancy because they cannot "hide" it long enough to put it up for adoption. Not all of them mind you, but some. If friends and relatives would quit judging and pushing people to keep babies they can't take care of, maybe there'd be more adoptions and less terminations? Not 100% of the time, of course. But some.
Gozer LeGozerian 1 year ago
Weird logic. Why should someone not terminate and unwanted pregnancy?
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dayngerkat 1 year ago
I would think you would have seen other people during your pregnancy (work, school, family, friends), and they would wonder what happened to the baby
Rebekah Fuentes 1 year ago
You absolutely made the best decision you were capable of. I am the "6th" person to know, and your secret is safe with me.
#16
She had a lovebird. it managed to get out the door, we spent weeks walking the neighbour's hood, putting up posters and scouring lost and found ads. unfortunately, within an a few hours of the first round of lost posters being distributed, I got a call (on her phone, she was in shower) from a woman who witnessed poor Lovebird being predated by crows. I went out to 'buy cigarettes', but actually went to the area where this was observed. I found a lot of little blue feathers. she was already heartbroken at the loss. I felt this news, this soon into the search would have crushed her.
Mariët 1 year ago
A lost pet is worse than a dead one, which is sad but gives ending. You can never truely forget or grieve a lost pet
Leta Schoeller 1 year ago
I agree with moggie63, especially with birds. She knows that bird is dead, deep down. Unless it is a Budgie in FL, parrots won't live long once escaped. There is a big debate in the bird ownership world weather to clip or not clip wings. This is the reason people choose to clip bird wings, so they won't escape and die. I've lost a bird to escape, I am glad I don't know the details, I won't have that image in my head. I still don't clip my birds' wings. They LOVE to fly, they were literally evolved/created for it. Why the else would you say "clipping someone's wings" is the same as handicapping them.
Load More Replies... Cathy Jo Baker 1 year ago
This was a jerk move. It would have been kinder to tell her as soon as you knew.
Justanotherpanda 1 year ago (edited)
Death is inevitably a consequence of life. Best to acknowledge. Grieving is part of acceptance and healing.
Tempest 1 year ago
The poor birdie! I guess it was the right decision to not tell her what exactly happened but hope you didn’t give her false hope that the bird is still around.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
If he said the bird was found dead but didn't say he'd been murdered, that was a good thing to y
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ANGEL ENRIQUE BAZALDUA LINARES 1 year ago
Maybe have buyed another one and be more careful... Or tell her the truth, buy another one and be more careful...
Sierra (Nyxhawk) 1 year ago
I don’t think I could ever stay with someone if I found out that they knew my pet was dead and they never told me. You’re just torturing them with the hope that they’ll find their pet some day. Side note: recall train your birds! Even the little ones. Accidents happen and recall training will increase the chances of being able to find and retrieve them if they get outside
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
I think maybe you should have told her. Not knowing what has become of a pet is in my opinion worse than hearing, that it has died.
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
Better for her to think he bird found another home, or flew away somewhere else! Crows are omnivores!
#17
It sounds harsh, but I would have loved to have talked with my ex about how neither of us really loved the other, but were both in love with the idea of each other, and that really f****d our relationship up, from day 1, and honestly I should have never tried to rely on her to fix my own pre-existing issues. I'm genuinely sorry I put her through that.
Alexandra 1 year ago
Not a bad idea, to be honest. If you break up and you're still on speaking terms, why not get together and have a talk, non-judgemental, about your break-up? It could clear up a lot of things.
Tessa 1 year ago
Yes this sounds good. I feel like I could use a talk like that as well. Looking back in full honesty.
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 1 year ago (edited)
It's called growing up, we all have to go through it. And Alexandra is absolutely right
#18
We broke it off on good terms, but I wish I could’ve told him how much of a narcissist and an a*****e he was to me. He drunkenly asked me when I stopped loving him one night after we broke up… I stopped loving you 6 months into our relationship and stayed for 3 years bc I couldn’t afford to leave and be on my own and I became so used to the abuse that it was just normal at that point. I stopped loving you the first time you screamed “f**k you” into my face. You made so many excuses for your behavior and half of those were just blaming me when I did nothing wrong. You were explosive and short-tempered but everything was still my fault. You couldn’t care less about the things I wanted to do or the interests that I had, just you you you you you. He even left me with the dog I got him (whom I love very much and he is spoiled). Every weekend he’d be gone doing the things that I wish I could be doing with him, but I wasn’t invited or couldn’t afford it. AND THE LIES. I’d be surprised if he was ever telling me the truth. Deceit was the boys middle name, but I saw through it. Even when you didn’t think I did. I did. I wish I could’ve said all of that but I left off on good terms because i’m wayyyyy too nice of a person. You live and you learn I guess. What a joke. Thanks for the vent haha.
Ansi 1 year ago
So I,ll vent too; I realised I needed a better relationship the first time he yelled at me and I flinched. He had yelled before when he was mad, but I never felt unsafe. Then the time when he yelled and I flinched, I knew that my body told me something important.
Rahb in Oz 1 year ago
Also, the reunion where he flinches when you try to kiss or embrace him. MASSIVE sign, in retrospect!
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Ken Beattie 1 year ago (edited)
The only thing I'll say that I find "wrong" with this one, is her buying him a dog. If it was a surprise gift, then that's not great. I saw it with a friend of mine. He didn't want a dog, his partner bought one. Surprise! You'll love it. She left him a few years later with a dog he didn't want in the first place. Unless you're both 100% on board for getting a dog (or any pet) it's usually a bad idea getting one as a gift.
Tempest 1 year ago (edited)
I can relate to this so much! My ex was a narcissist alcoholic with anger issues that led to both mental and physical abuse towards me. Our relationship was extremely toxic that our friends were begging for us to cut off all contact. He turned all of our mutual friends against me, even people who I’ve known since I was a toddler started disliking and avoiding me. No one saw any fault in him because he always acted like the best person to the outside world all the while abusing me. Once we parted ways, I cut off all contact but he’s still trying to reach out to me (but I won’t respond). Today I’m suffering from severe loneliness because I don’t have any friends. I had to start therapy and antidepressants after all this (it seems to be helping but it’s too soon to tell). He is the absolute worst person I’ve ever met and everyday I wish I never crossed paths with him.
Tempest 1 year ago
No matter how toxic we were I always wanted to end things on good terms and be friends but he never cared to achieve this. In fact following our last fight, which escalated to needing our friends to step in, he stated in front of everyone that he never wants to see me again. I knew he never respected me and I should have walked away years ago, but I’m glad now it’s me who’s going full no contact while he’s desperately to trying to reach out. Two things I never told him because I didn’t want to hurt him (but now I wish I have said them out) were that my very first impression of him the first time I saw him was “Eww” (a friend and I were commenting about our future batchmates during our college orientation program) and that when he tried to get back together after I ended things (because of his alcoholism), I turned him down because I was in crazy in love with his friend and I realized I’ve never felt the same way towards him (ex), basically making me realize that I never loved him.
Load More Replies... Maartje 1 year ago
My fiancee hit me through the room. First time. I packed and left. Never came back. It was the best thing I could have done for myself, I had severe self- esteem problems and people took advantage of me, but that was the last drop. I learned right there and then that I could control what I put up with.
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
Good to read. Never stay after the "first" abuse.
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 1 year ago
If a person is what you say, there's absolutely no point telling them. My mother keeps saying what she would like to say to my brother's ex wife, but honestly there's no point telling someone they're a narcissist because, well they're a narcissist, that's kind of the point.
Bewitched One 1 year ago
Damn. I felt this one too much. Except it was almost 7 years. I really did love him for 3-4 of those. Also felt the "we should've broken up after that first fight 6 weeks in" except I should've never dated him when he kept ghosting me for weeks then coming back, ghosting, coming back. Come to find out he was breaking up with and getting back with his kids mom those times. I found out three months in (she sent me screenshots) he was still begging for her to take him back the entire time we were dating, and I STILL didn't leave. Man, was I young and dumb. Granted. My son was born in November, he and I started talking when I was pregnant, and she told me around my birthday beginning of march, so I was still pretty hormonal and I think that was why I "loved" him so much by then. Lessons learned. Been with the most amazing man for four years, and 9 years after my last kid, we've got his first and my third due in June! First right choice I made when it comes to my kids' dads. lol
Bewitched One 1 year ago
I will say though, I atleast did tell him about it. All the damn time. lol he just didn't care in the least
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Kaethejean Bleicher 1 year ago
Leaving on good terms when you are in am abusive relationship(particularly with a narcissist) is a very good thing as it absolutely helps to keep you physically safe.
Kaethejean Bleicher 1 year ago
leaving an abusive ex, and a narcissist at that on good terms is a very good and very safe option. In fact, it is NEVER recommended to to leave any other way. You kept yourself safe and that is more important than venting at the abuser.
#19
Several things to each one of them
1- Im sorry that I fumbled breaking up with you but I needed a more active gf than just watching movies endlessly
2- i really wanted to spend my life with you but your decision that “you wanted to open our relationship” ended all attraction to you at that exact moment. I should have just walked away right there than demand it ‘stay closed’ and drag out the inevitable a few more months. You ended up leaving me anyways so w/e
3- your anger is why everyone youve dated dumped you, and why im dumping you too. Its not that we “are afraid of a smart woman” its you become petty and mean when you dont get your way. (Shes still single to this day)
4- i knew you cheated but you thought you were too slick.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
I believe he's saying he's had 4 different breakups and kept a different secret for each of them. I must say in each case I think it would have been better to actually be honest about the reasons. Maybe it wouldn't have helped, but it's also possible that it was the wakeup call one or more of them needed to actually look at their own actions.
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JBo 1 year ago
Nope, some grow wiser, some only grow older. You will find people who essentially keep dating or marrying the same person. The "everyone I date is an a&$hole". (Now, people should not be a$$holes) But They're the one who keeps choosing a$$holes...
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SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
I'm not sure about the first one being 'good reason' to break up with someone... But I love films, as in I did do film and media studies as an elective at University. I love studying them, trying to figure out how they filmed certain scenes in the days before CGI and Computer Special Effects etc, analysing them but I tend to do that when I'm alone, especially watching them over and over again.
#20
He made me reallyyyy uncomfortable with how often he "accidentally" s**t himself. Accidents are accidents but there's a point where it's no longer an accident.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I have a very dear friend who has fecal incontinence due to colon cancer and complications thereof. Several years after remission, she was given a pacemaker, which gives her about a minute of warning. She has a lot of accidents. Other than the incontinence, she's healthy, so she cleans herself and whatever she soiled. She does any necessary laundry, and gets on with life. It's called being an adult.
Flora Porter 1 year ago
That can happen with IBS and as a side effect and of some medications, but no excuses for not learning to manage it discreetly, and especially not for letting someone else clear it up.
Midoribird Aoi 1 year ago
Word. I was afraid to go out in public anymore, until my doc suggested probiotics after having to take some antibiotics with rough side effects. Within weeks, that and avoiding food allergies gave me absolute freedom, after years of discreet misery.
Load More Replies... Lisa Walters 1 year ago
I had one who did the same. So did his mother and sister. Weird bunch.
Anna Chandler 1 year ago
My partner's ex used to p**s herself on purpose when they were out so she could buy new clothes. This was a grown woman with adult children.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
You dated a guy who sh*t his pants? Like - on a regular basis? WTF?
Karen Startz Richardson 1 year ago
Is there some sort of fetish going on...or an urgent medical issue where he should see a GI doctor ASAP?
weatherwitch 1 year ago
I'm trying to work out if this was a medical issue he needed help with or a kink - that he still needed help with 😮
#21
That her passion and goals for her writing career did not match her talent and dedication in actually trying to achieve them.
C.O. Shea 1 year ago
This doesn't always work, though. Delusional people, histrionic or narcissistic people... they'll never be able to hear the message.
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wowbagger 1 year ago
That's her business. If and when she wants guidance and feedback, she'll seek that out, and it's better if she gets that help from professional writers than from friends and family. Until then, how is she hurting anyone? [I say this as someone who has been trying to become a published author for many years now.]
Lori w 1 year ago
Fifty Shades was a fanfic. Talent is subjective, and most writers will never publish or make money off their work. I wouldn't encourage people to quit their jobs to write, especially as AI is capable of doing a lot of the work, but it's OK to have a hobby you're bad at if it's fulfilling to you. Hope she finds a writers group to join and spends less time sharing her writing with the poster.
Rahb in Oz 1 year ago
A passion for writing is imperative; dedication WILL do the rest! Sounds like jealousy.
Red Reilly 1 year ago
I know a guy like this, came from a loaded family, just expected to become a writer for a big newspaper. Didn't happen, doesn't really work and just has his family money.
#22
Just because you know interesting people, that doesn’t make you interesting.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
I could make you interesting... It depends upon what you talk about with them. If you're learning from them? It can give you a wider array of subjects to talk about... Therefore more interesting. We're all still learning as we go along!
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
OMG - my former employer at a high end tableware company in Seattle. Within 5 minutes of meeting her, she mentions that Howard Schultz (Starbucks) is a close personal friend of hers. I absolutely could not care f*cking less. She was one of the most self centered, narcissistic, insecure women I have EVER met.
#23
That she would make an awful mother and that’s why things ended.
Alexandra 1 year ago
Why is telling a woman they would be a terrible mother such a bad thing? If it stops those women from having children they have the chance to abuse? Besides, they could be terrible mothers but good aunts. Motherhood is not the ultimate purpose of a woman's life. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say.
Load More Replies... #24
That I know damn well she cheated on me.
Edit to add: I never told her because it would have benefited no one. As a result, we had an amicable divorce.
Alexandra 1 year ago
You were, figuratively and, who know, literally, the bigger person in the nicest possible sense.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
I dunno, why not tell her? She should know that other people are aware of the kind of person she is? Unless there are children involved, I wouldn't hesitate to tell.
Angela Darling 1 year ago
It takes 3 people to have an affair - the discontented, the oblivious and the accommodator
Comfortably Numb 1 year ago
No. That places all the blame directly on one person. One person not in the marriage. And it lets the married person off easy, so they're not humiliated from seeing friends and family with their head up afterwards.
Load More Replies... #25
That she was a major catalyst in me making my life better. You we were my rock bottom. You made my life hell trying to help you and “fix” you. It’s wild I spent the whole relationship terrified you’d out grow me, turns out I outgrew you and I am so happy. Happiest I’ve ever been. Go f**k yourslef.
Alexandra 1 year ago
If you feel the need to fix' your girl/boy friend and not in the veterinary sense, you had better take a step back first. You don't 'fix' people: you can help them fixing themselves, but that's as far as it goes.
𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 1 year ago
You really shouldn't feel the need to "fix" them in the veterinary sense, either. That's a whole DIFFERENT problem.
Load More Replies... #26
I knew he cheated for about 2 wks prior to the break up. I kept trying to give him chances to come clean on his own. He never did.
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
My ex refused to accept there are two kinds of cheating: physical/sex and emotional/sharing. I could've handled the physical, but I couldn't accept the emotional cheating.
#27
That I felt the most at peace with him.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
There was a time when I felt like that with my ex. I should’ve broken up with him when I stopped feeling that way.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Maybe they don’t talk anymore. Maybe it’d just be weird to tell him now.
Load More Replies... #28
Her parents pissed me the f**k off. Her mom was always complaining about everything, and her dad was a covid conspiracy theory nut case.
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 1 year ago
Lol did you just have a light bulb moment and realise that you are the ex?!
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Riley Quinn 1 year ago
Unless you intend to live thousands of miles away from your SO's family who are beyond annoying, break it off. It will not get better with a solemn vow or longevity.
#29
That I accidentally dropped his Ducati on its side. Obviously I couldn’t pick it up, I was panicking and called a neighbor for help and both of us were able to pick it up. Thankfully nothing happened to the motorcycle. No scratches or anything.. but if my ex knew, he’d have a fit lmao.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
It's on two wheels and motorbikes are very heavy. If you don't know where the kickstand is or have never handled one before? It's easily done.
Load More Replies... SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
A brand new Ducati is around £13,200 starting price and they go upwards. That's one heck of an expensive accidental drop! I'd have told him because just dropping it could've caused damage to the inner engine which may not be apparent at first glance.
Rahb in Oz 1 year ago
A good partner would accept you had an honest accident. Regardless of any damage.
Susan Teter 1 year ago
PRICELESS! When you're 80 years old, holding the hand of the man who you TRULY deserve (and deserves you), and he asks you why your smiling...THIS is what your thinking about!
Natalia 1 year ago
Who said he cares more about the bike? You can love a person and still love material items.
Load More Replies... #30
How bad his cooking really was. The best part about the very unpleasant break-up was that I no longer had to eat his food.
*Confused Screaming* 1 year ago
A lot of these seem like people just need better communication. You can easily get better at cooking, but he never will if he never knows
Štěpán Krátký 1 year ago
We have a little rule at home. If the food is s**t, you say it's s**t, so we can improve it or never cook it again. If it's great, it's great. S****y cooking problem solved for good.
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
My ex did all the cooking that ranged from 'never again' to scrumptiously delicious. But to eat a bad meal every night? Nah, I've got too much self-respect.
Lee 1 year ago
Surely you could have said 'hey let's go to cooking classes together for fun.' Throwing away a relationship because your other half is an awful cook is petty- you accepted his meals so you could have said in a nice way the cooking is awful.
Dainty72 1 year ago
Eh?? She NEVER said she broke up with him because of his cooking! She just meant that at least she didn't have to eat his awful meals now they've broke up.
Load More Replies... Hugendubel 1 year ago
Its just one sign that you couldnt be honest with each other - so easily fixed....
#31
The fourth time she stayed over at my house, she woke up crying in the middle of the night, talking like she was a kid, and saying how her family is at odds, and her dad hates her mom and thinks she’s ugly, but they can’t get a divorce because of Christian values. I just calmed her down and held her until she fell asleep. She suffered from Dissociative Identity Disorder and stress-caused episodes, so I don’t think she remembers it happening. I didn’t bring it up the next morning or ever in the three years we were together; not even during our worst fights.
Craig Reynolds 1 year ago (edited)
Being in a relationship with someone who has mental health issues can be very draining and stressful. Some days you have to be their rock, others their punching bag. My Ex was a rapid cycling bipolar. Instead of gradually going from manic to depressed over the course of days or weeks she often cycled from one extreme to the other over the course of a day.
#32
I bought the ring from a buddy who robbed a jewelry store.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago (edited)
Personally, this wouldn’t bother me, but everybody’s different. Unless you did the robbing, we’re all good.
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
Meaning you don't steal but are okay with buying stolen goods?
Load More Replies... SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
Aren't diamonds engraved or laser printed now or something? Or is that just something I picked up from watching too much CSI NY??? Lol
Hey! 1 year ago
Mine has an ID on it so I can go to any jewelry store and they'll find the picture. They showed me one time and it was cool.
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Seanette Blaylock 1 year ago
So great, if anyone notices she's walking around with stolen property on her finger, she's just landed in big legal trouble and she's the innocent party in this one. Nice thing to do to someone you supposedly love.
#33
He would make mashups/ DJ mixes and play his own music in the car. And they were f****n TRASH.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
I love Rush. But I'd listen to other things too. It's an acquired taste 😁
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Riley Quinn 1 year ago
My ex had been playing drums for a couple of decades. Was even in a couple of bands. I endured his noise in the basement, but truth is, he sucked.
Octavia Hansen 1 year ago
Try living/traveling with a Pink Floyd fanatic . . . made me want to open a vein . . .
#34
That I broke up with her because she was just… too dumb.
Anne Jones 1 year ago (edited)
That’s not too bad. Stupid people really irritate me. It’s nothing to do with education. I knew a woman who could barely read and write (grew up in a war zone so minimal education) but she was incredibly intelligent. I’ve also met people who are so ignorant that I can hardly bear to be near them.
Allen John 1 year ago
There is a difference between book smart and world weary intelligence. Always go for the latter.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 1 year ago
Lacking a formal education is not an excuse for being stupid. I haven't been in a formal classroom in decades, but I continue to keep up with a wide variety of science articles. Stupid people lack curiosity, and I have no patience with them.
🩶🩷Marvin HoG🩷🩶 1 year ago
I've broken up with a few people because they were too dumb. I had nothing against them personally but with the intelligence disparity we just couldn't communicate very well. They were all very sweet people and I truly hope they have found happiness with someone who they fit with.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
Having a 3 way argument: myself, husband & 13 y/o son. About 10 minutes in the ex makes a comment that was not only untrue, it was beyond ridiculously stupid. My son counters with the truth AND at just about the same time, we all realize my son is smarter than his stepfather. The ex didn't last another six months. It took my teenage son to make me realize what an astronomical mistake I had made.
Angela Darling 1 year ago
omg...I knew someone ...describing a relationship they told me a few things ...then ended with..."...but she/he is SO dumb!!!...it's actually funny!"
#35
I lost my virginity to her. Before we became a “thing” and she was just my friend I would lie to her about the women I slept with. This was in high school, man I still remember that night. Lmao, we ended up getting really serious, that relationship lasted 12 years. She would bring up the girls that I “supposedly” slept with and once in a while she would say that she ended up falling in love with a man wh*re. Lmao I never told her.
Flora Porter 1 year ago
It's crazy that people still lie about this kind of thing. There's nothing wrong with falling in love and going on a journey of discovery together.
Edward Finger Hands 1 year ago
I find it hard to believe that a woman wouldn’t recognize if a man were a virgin or had very little sexual experience. And given her saying he was “a man whore”, she probably knew, was keeping that secret to herself, and occasionally teasing him to see if he ever fessed up.
Comfortably Numb 1 year ago
She knew. You're weren't that good the first time, no one's buying it. Sounds like she was lying to you too...as in faking her orgasms 🤣🤣🤣
weatherwitch 1 year ago
I personally would hate this as it's lie after after. I was almost 20 before I lost my virginity and didn't care to make up fake pasts to look better. Each to their own 🤷🏻♀️
Alyssa Phillips 1 year ago
My ex i affectionately call "my ginger" lied about it. He was a virgin and talked a lot about his experiences. I had no idea I took his virginity.
BabaBizzle 1 year ago
She clearly knew he wasn’t a man hoe but she was either taking the p**s out of his BS boasting OR she was trying to let him know he was terrible in bed because he never has experience and how lucky he was to get her to give him the chance. Sounds like both of you weren’t meant for each other
#36
His apartment was an absolute horror show. Like I don’t know how he put up with how filthy, cluttered and depressing it was, and I honestly felt embarrassed for him.
tw 72 1 year ago
If he can't keep his place clean, you can reasonably assume that YOU will be doing ALL the housework if/when you two live together. Don't do it, trust me.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
This is an interesting one because different people have different concepts of clean. For some it's vacuum, mop, dust twice a day, everything has to be so sparkling you can eat off it. For others it's once a week or once a fortnight. For some a house that is regularly cleaned, but is cluttered is a horror show. And of course, some people are happy with food literally rotting on the table, two weeks dishes in the sink, dirty underwear hanging from the lampshade etc. Without knowing where on that spectrum the pair of them sit it's hard to actually know who is "wrong" here. Or even if either of them were wrong.
Load More Replies... SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
This is an absolute turn off for me too... Okay, sometimes a filthy home can be a symptom of deep depression or other mental health issue, which I'd sympathise with, but if it's actually filthy just because they're lazy? Then nope... I'm gone.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
I have 9 years of college and am a bit OCD. Right now my apartment looks like a garbage can. I have roaches, bedbugs, and mice. I'm depressed, that's why.
Nimitz 1 year ago
I once had a buddy who's house had floors literally caked in mud. Furniture covered in dog fur, garbage overflowing in every room, dishes not done for weeks to the point where the sink was permanently discoloured, but he had a hot GF who would come by and bring him food and try to tidy up. I will never understand straight women, and I've got 5 sisters
Auntie Mim 7 months ago
Honestly? The cleanliness of my home is almost a direct correlation to how I'm doing mentally at the time. I *WANT* to keep things near as a pin, but sometimes everything is just too overwhelming. It's one of those things I notice and go "huh, I think I'm struggling" when I'm in a free fall to a major depressive episode.
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
That sounds like most men that are in college or just out of college and mummy did their laundry! And if not, they just let turning their underwear inside out till they couldn’t stand it! So freaking grossed out when this became a known fact!
#37
That her family is and will continue to ruin her life. I have never met more narcissistic and pretentious, self diagnosing and delusional people in my entire life. I hope she finds the exit somehow, even tho she already had one.
Anyone-for-tea? 1 year ago
Do you think he meant self-aggrandizing….? Or maybe they spent a lot of time on Dr Google??
Edward Finger Hands 1 year ago
Possibly, but with the rise in people self diagnosing mental illnesses/disorders in order to excuse s****y behavior, it could very well mean it in that sense.
Load More Replies... #38
That as much as I loved her, her lack of morals and social values meant we never had a future together. I could not imagine raising children with someone like her.
Chez2202 1 year ago
Wait, what? This should say ‘as much as I liked having sex with her’. If you can straight up recognise that you are with someone with no morals who you know you have no future with then it’s not love.
Anikulapo 1 year ago
Who are you to tell them whether they were in love or not…
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ANGEL ENRIQUE BAZALDUA LINARES 1 year ago
After how much time having kinky sex with her did you realize that?
Matthew Barabas 1 year ago
lack of morals and social values dont exactly mean she is a bad person.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
Morals and ethics are GOOD to have when you live in a society of other human beings. If OP’s ex thought it was okay to lie to everyone, do you think that’s a good thing just because you think the phrase “a lack of morals” is too stuffy or whatever it is you think?
Load More Replies... #39
I hired a divorce lawyer the day after she took the kids from daycare and ran off to her moms. I was so stressed that I lost 5 lbs in 2 days due to stress from this. I convinced her to come back and just ‘make it work’ for The kids sake. But I knew I could never trust her again. I stashed $, gift cards, kids clothes & supplies at work and my folks house in case I needed to get the kids and get out fast. That was 3 years before the actual divorce. I regret nothing but hanging on so long. Now happily remarried w full custody 8 years now. FU ex wife.
Dainty72 1 year ago
There's bits missing here. Was she a terrible mother? It may seem so, but it's not stated. If she wasn't, that's not the best move for the children. If both parents are good parents then both should have 50/50 access. Obviously not if one parent is toxic and a bad parent. Too many people plan to get over on their partner by planning things and being sly when the other doesn't have a clue about their plan, making him have a huge advantage whit comes to divorce and custody. If she was terrible in most aspects then good for you. She/he can be a terrible partner, but a great parent! Love your children more than you hate each other. Why were the children taken from school and carted off to the mother's place? Like I said, a lot is missing here.
Lina Marklund 1 year ago
Nothing is missing here. He ended up having full custody and I have no idea where your talk about having a plan etc comes from.
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#40
I let her win at card games sometimes. Winner usually chose the movie but I didn’t want her to feel bad by beating her all the time and I wanted to keep playing. I played A LOT of cards in university and could probably beat her 90% of the time.
Beachbum 1 year ago
My and my boyfriend used to play gin a lot! He beat me all the time, Iasked every now and then if he could just let me win one time andhe would always, is that how you wnat to win, youwant me to let youwin, that is no way to win...... but yes every now and then I would like to win, he was such a d**k
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
I kinda get this. It's not fun participating in anything when the outcome can be predetermined.
Tyranamar 1 year ago
Just pick a different game. Why does he want to play a game he can win 90% of the time? Do something y'all are semi-evenly matched at. Although I had an ex who was super competitive at games. So he probably always would've been better than me at most of them.
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Bored something 1 year ago
They are not tarot cards. They are from the board game Ticket to Ride. They all have trains on them.
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#41
That he was terrible in bed 🤷🏼♀️ and after he went to bed, I would have to finish myself.
Gg 1 year ago
These are things that you shouldn't keep from them. They'll never solve a problem they don't know exists.
Jean Allan 1 year ago
Exactly! Sounds like she’s just a terrible communicator. Obviously you can’t tell someone they’re terrible in bed, but you have to show him what gets you off. Everyone is different and he wasn’t a mind reader 🤷♀️
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Riley Quinn 1 year ago
I've always said, there are no bad employees, just bad managers. Ditto for lousy lovers. If you can't take the time to show them, then yeah, you'll have to do it yourself.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
I mean, it's both. If he doesn't "do it right" then give pointers. If he continues to do it wrong then that's on him.
Load More Replies... Kim Lorton 1 year ago
Half the fun is teaching and playing so you both finish! Try new things, be honest and believe me, this is a problem easily fixed!
Nimitz 1 year ago
Lol. Gay guy here and it's amazing how I hear this occasionally from straight women, but almost all straight guys think their female partner is bad in bed. Usually pillow princesses/vanilla Barbies. Work on your skills girls, your presence alone is not enough once you're both out of your teenage years
Anna Chandler 1 year ago
Every comment I see on these particular posts is "communication!" Hard to do when, in my experience, men are selfish in that department and communication doesn't work.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
If the comments were "I tried talking with him about it and he ignored it" I'd agree with you. But this is literally an article about people keeping secrets from their partners.
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#42
That his breath stank , (I had to remind him daily to brush his teeth).
Dainty72 1 year ago
Could agree more! If people are trying flossing for the first time or leave flossing for weeks, I tell them to floss and smell what's on the floss, it smells horrible! It's sulphur buildup and it doesn't take long for it to smell bad.
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Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
My partner never used to brush his teeth in the morning. We shared the car in the mornings, and any time he opened his mouth the whole interior would fill with his stinking dirty-toothed coffee breath. It took me a year (of holding my breath in the car when he spoke, as well as leaving mints and mint gums in the dash as a mercy for his poor coworkers) to finally pluck up enough courage and annoyance to tell him outright. He didn't like my descriptiveness and got upset with me, but he also started brushing his teeth more often in the mornings.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
I don't mind coffee breath. But if you smell like a Port-a-potty do something.
Load More Replies... BabaBizzle 1 year ago
I’d rather be alone than with someone who has bad breath, bad teeth, bad oral hygiene. At least Body Ordor can be justified by working hard / exercising then they shower it off but sh*t breath ? Deal breaker !
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
Nope. I do not tolerate poor personal hygiene. I've got too much self-respect to put up with someone's stench.
Anna Chandler 1 year ago
My ex used to use Copenhagen. I had no problem telling him it made his breath smell like a camel crawled in his mouth, took a huge s**t, then died. So nauseating...
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
I HAD to tell my ex. My eyes would literally water when he spoke to me. Forget kissing. He admitted that he "sometimes" forgot to brush his teeth. Forgot?(Like for days? - cause it's f*cking nasty) He was a GROWN A*S MAN. I married him, not adopted him.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
Going to have to disagree here, once you have split up with someone this is exactly the kind of thing you can tell them
#43
I wish I had told her how messed up her family dynamic was, how oppressed she was from that. I wish I had told her that life was more than academia and titles. And that I could’ve been more, but I was always going to be an outlier in her families eyes.
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
I'll never understand a person's loyalty to a dysfunctional family over self-loyalty.
Lene 1 year ago
In my case it's because you are taught from the moment you're born that if you want people to be nice and smiling and (seemingly) interested in you and your well-being, you need to obey the weird things that goes on in that dysfunctional family. If you do not obey the weird stuff you are in for a ride to Hell.... in whatever form suits the family you're born into. And because I learned this before the age of 2 (according to a therapist I had) it's just so hard to unlearn again. It's built into your brain so early that it's really hard to find and even harder to un-build.
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#44
That I wish I've never met her.
Natalia Allen 1 year ago
I wanted so much to say this to my last partner. I never have and never could because he is the father of my child. Before people down vote me - the man broke me, my daughter was broken when he left us and I have lived with that brokenness for 10 years and still suffer the effects it had on my child to this day.
Alicia M 1 year ago
I would never down vote you for having a sh*tty ex. I'm really hoping things get better for you and your daughter.
Load More Replies... Alicia M 1 year ago
I 100% feel this way about my ex. He lied to me from the beginning, and when I divorced him, the lies he's told since are mind blowing. Nothing is his fault. He's always the victim. He did nothing wrong. He's nothing but an overgrown man baby. Best thing I ever did was leave him.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
I told my Mom that I wished I'd never met my ex. She (as Moms do) had some sage advice: "What did you learn? What will you look for in your next relationship? What will you accept? What will you not tolerate? Consider this a life lesson and do better next time."
#45
How much she really broke me down. Took me years to get my mental back on track.
Dainty72 1 year ago
I went through this twice, but not for year on year because I got out early. It's awful and I hope you're well. The problem with me (maybe not a problem) is because of these issues, I've been on my own for 22 years, but that's by choice and I don't want to be with anyone. I'm happy now, hope you are too!
Auntriarch 1 year ago
As long as you're doing well Dainty, it doesn't matter how you're doing it
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#46
That his dad revenge cheated on his mom after she had a relationship with another man while they were separated. She swore me to silence after telling me once night but had to tell someone because her husband wouldn’t stop holding the fact that “she cheated on him” over her head for every argument.
Idgafwyt AllDat'N'ABagOfChips 1 year ago
Not sure of all the facts here, but it seems like mom was with someone else, when they were separated. That's not cheating, in most cases, but deliberately finding someone to have sèx with, just because you learned about your partner doing so, when you weren't in a relationship.
Red Reilly 1 year ago
Ok, I don't know why, but I am a magnet for these confessions, meet random couples in bars, chat away, go for a smoke with one of them 'I have to tell someone! I cheated/cheating/having an affair' I'm always like, ahhh man why do people tell me these things..
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
Pronoun abuse. Who did what to whom? Who knew? Who kept it a secret? This is not rocket surgery.
#47
You're not funny enough to be a stand up comic, and You're always going to be a barista.
Agfox 1 year ago (edited)
Them doing stand up: "You know, I work part time as a barista. The hours are long but I find time for my favourite pastime, karaoke, where my best song is Hit Me With Your Best Shot - get it? hahahaha"
Anne Jones 1 year ago
Everyone told me I’d never be funny. Now I’m a famous comedian! Well, they’re not laughing now!
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
I had a high school student who wanted to be a professional musician, something she had neither the talent or discipline for - despite being a very wonderful person. Instead of flat out telling her, I advised her to double major in music and business (very unusual at her intended college) to give herself some creative options. She's now with a symphony orchestra - as part of management.
#48
Her chili sucked.
Drinking my Covfefe 1 year ago
Are you going to the potluck? I'm bringing chili! I loved that one so much!🤣🤣
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BoredPossum 1 year ago
Compared to those showering siblings, this sounds like a non-issue.
Load More Replies... Tom De Paul 9 months ago
And it's hard to ruin chili. I'd tell her though. I'm not eating bad chili.
#49
I faked it every time but I didn't want to hurt their feelings.
Emma S 1 year ago
No, never fake an orgasm because they think there are no issues in the bedroom when there clearly are. Ladies, you need to communicate better with your partner if you're doing this. Sex should be a two way street.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
It's also important to speak up if your partner is doing something that's causing discomfort or pain. Don't grit your teeth through it for fear of "wrecking the mood". The mood is already wrecked if their hangnail is scraping into your softest bits, or they're accidentally pinching something with each enthusiastic thrust.
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Donteatme666 1 year ago
Ok I'm a guy so yes please communicate what gets you off I'm not a freaking mind-reader. But to be fair I've always been the honest kind of person most guys double down when there told they suck in bed personally I've never had or at least been told anyway sorry it's to early for me for the talk
Shine Chisholm (they/ them) 1 year ago
There's a big difference between, "a little to the left," or, "here instead of there," and, "you are bad at sex."
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Riley Quinn 1 year ago
Why? Really, why? You're cheating yourself for not showing your partner techniques that satisfy.
Tyranamar 1 year ago
Oh man. Some poor lady has to inherit him now. And here he is thinking he's fantastic. Plus, you've cheated yourself out of the opportunity to have real orgasms. Most men will very enthusiastically try whatever you want to find an orgasm. If you've got one who won't, get rid of him.
Donna Peluda 1 year ago
M55 I'm reading a lot about woman faking it. ladies we are clueless, now two female are the same. We need guidance!!
Dav Carro-Ripalda 1 year ago
Their? It did happen with all your partners? Did you check it was not something on you?
Comfortably Numb 1 year ago
Cumming isn't even the best part... It's the whole thing, and if that's all you want or focus on, you're really missing out on the best of what sex is
#50
That I have never let anyone get that close emotionally, before or since. We stayed friends afterwards, and I wouldn't have gotten back together if she wanted to, but to me we had something special for a while.
Angela Darling 1 year ago
Loving someone = being vulnerable. Know yourself a little better next time...and be picky!! dating doesn't mean marriage! have some fun w/out thinking about commitment!
#51
This was a long-distance relationship. When he was in really bad shape with a chronic pain issue and experiencing s*icidal thoughts, I called his 'best' friend to go spend some time with him and try to cheer him up a little. I don't like this friend at all, and when I contacted him, he acted like going to check on the friend who was desperately bored and isolated because of his illness was a huge hassle he didn't have time for. To his credit, he actually did it. Even though I can't stand this friend, I figure no good could come from my then-boyfriend hearing that his 'best' friend balked at helping him when he was at his lowest.
#52
I hate that blue polo shirt so much.
#53
Just how bad her little sister and sister's friend flirted and teased that summer I helped out at the farm.
BabaBizzle 1 year ago
Her little sister is jealous of her. Let’s hope you never did anything with her.
Lee 1 year ago
At what point did he even insinuate he did 'anything' with her/them?
Load More Replies... #54
He will try to find the worst in anyone he loves bc he can’t accept love.
#55
I’m sorry for the way I treated her. I didn’t do anything like cheat on her or abuse her in anyway or anything, but my actions, in retrospect was less than fair to her.
#56
This was an ex like 3 exes ago. That I really only let it turn into a relationship out of curiosity and that every day for the last year of our relationship I kept thinking, "is today the day I'm going to break up the relationship?" because I was truly unhappy with her, BUT every time I wanted to break things off something bad kept happening in her personal life and I didn't want to pile on the suckiness of life. Seriously, gents. Try not to let a fling turn into a full blown relationship. I learned through relationships after THAT one that I really could have gone my entire life without being with her and it would have actually made my life better.
Comfortably Numb 1 year ago
You suck to do this. And why can't a fling turn into a relationship?? This sounds like a frat boy
LinkTheHylian 1 year ago
I want to punch this guy so hard it feels like the impact will cause a worldwide mass extinction event. Except way bigger than the one which wiped out the dinosaurs.
#57
That even two years after the breakup I'm still harboring a ton of anger towards them and their ex that they emotionally cheated on me with and got nudes from. That every time we hangout I successfully compartmentalize the anger and put it out of mind, but that by no means means that I've forgiven my ex. That I get angry every time they mention their old ex to me.
RabidChild 1 year ago
Why would you continue to have a relationship with someone who did this to you? Especially when you have such anger and resentment? Why would you choose to be around people that you have to put on an act for?
#58
Everyone makes fun of him behind his back. Literally, everyone, even his friends.
Ansi 1 year ago (edited)
Went on Reddit and the OP calls him a "menace to society" and says she also made fun of him behind his back after she broke up with him.
Load More Replies... #59
My mental health started suffering and heavily affecting me on the lead up to things ending. That the following months where he strung me along with the hopes of getting back together were nothing but cruel. The physical pain from crying so hard over him and my heart breaking every time I thought I had f****d up and wasn’t doing enough, not being able to bring it up to him or talk things over because he takes everything personally and shuts down emotionally. I wish him nothing but the best and I’m truly happy for him and his new relationship, but will never get over how he made me feel and f****d me over to just throw it away like it was nothing.
#60
That I only married him because I desperately wanted to be married and have a family. And that I always thought he was ugly.
Comfortably Numb 1 year ago
Watching shows like love is blind (I'm embarrassed to admit), it amazes me how some people want to get married so badly, they don't care who it's with!
#61
That the reason I broke up with her was because I cheated on her with my wife. As in like...I had a girlfriend, I went camping (girlfriend did not come with us) . Met this girl I literally fell in love with within 5 minutes of meeting her. And hooked up with her that night. When I got back home I broke up with my Gf and said that we weren't going to work out and that I felt as if we have been growing apart for months. A lot of people told me I should have told her the truth...but..why? I was already hurting her by breaking up, I didn't see the reason to tell her I cheated on her and hurt her twice in 1 go.
Alexandra 1 year ago
I get the feeling you wanted to spare yourself rather than her, by not admitting you are a cheater.
Jinx (she/her) 1 year ago
lmao, he doesn't want everyone to know so he kept it to himself. hope he used protection because she doesn't even know she needs an std test
Load More Replies... #62
That while it was fantastic that she was adventurous and pretty much down anytime, anyplace, for anything--and that was a major turn on... ...she was a dead fish when it came down to the actual deed. It was like waiting an hour for fireworks and... getting a Snap Dragon.
#63
She was a terrible kisser.
BabaBizzle 1 year ago
How can someone get better? Maybe it’s the partner they have …. Lack of chemistry?
#64
Your dad was a horrible dad.
#65
That I f****d his friend before we ever met.
Kathy O 1 year ago
Look at all the time you saved by typing "r" instead "are".
Load More Replies... #66
She was the cataclyst for me realising it was a phase after all.
#67
I’m like 90 percent certain I hit a baby duckling when it was crossing the highway with its family. I saw them too late and avoided most of them but I think I clipped the last one in the row. She was already so upset at them being on the road that I didn’t have the heart to tell her.
#68
Her sister was better... (they knew I dated them both).
Michael Largey 1 year ago (edited)
My high school girl friend and I went to different colleges. Her older sister, just graduated from college, talked her into breaking up with me because I was geographicly undesirable. Shortly after my gf finally dumped me, guess who was driving down to my campus to try to get in bed with me? I have encountered my ex-gf on several occasions since, but I have never told her about her sister.
#69
That I smoked weed when he wasn’t around. This was the late 90s and he was so anti-d**g he would have been horrified.
#70
Though he had aspirations of being a chef, his cooking was mediocre at best. Also, that he lost his Mexican card when he tried to fix my couch with a fork....a FORK. (And before y'all come for me, I'm very much a Latina).
#71
That he sucked at his major.
LinkTheHylian 1 year ago
You don't have to tell him. If he's as bad as you say, his failing grade will tell him.
#72
While she was cheating on me, I was doing the same in response. Very healthy relationship.
#73
That her lady garden smelt really bad.
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
Should have found a way- through her mum or bff. It's clearly a sign of ill health. Even if not washed all the time they should not smell bad.
#74
He was ugly af and I only fell for him through his personality (when he was sober) and I was so relieved I didn’t have to fake enjoy sleeping with him after we broke up.
#75
Ex #2: I wasn’t attracted to her because of her weight. I loved her as a person (turns out I was wrong to, oops) but I just don’t find big attractive. Ex #1: I wasn’t attracted to her because of her BO. I tried everything to get her to wash, but she’d only take baths and just soak, and sometimes wash her hair.
Shine Chisholm (they/ them) 1 year ago
Let those sexy curvy ladies go to people who will actually appreciate them!
Load More Replies... Bewarethere@gmail.com 1 year ago
Look people r going 2 give u s**t but u like what u like. The b.o.tho eww
#76
You had a lesbian haircut, and you were probably the most probably most boring person I ever met.
Alexandra 1 year ago
Spoiler alert: never judge a book by its cover, never judge a person by its haircut.
Donteatme666 1 year ago
Think Crew cut or buzz cut, basically really short hair personally I like both
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#77
That she's fat.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
She knows she's fat. But she doesn't know that this is a deal breaker for him.
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KariAdoresHerKats 1 year ago
Why is this being down voted? People are fat and people don't like it. What is wrong with that?
doredde 1 year ago
Because it´s totally unempathetic and rude to call someone fat. The one how does not like overweight people doesn´t have to look at them and should try to stay lean. Period.
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What do you think ?
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
Bad breath is also from having a stomach problem, or digestive issue, sometimes even mouth cancer. Continued bad breath means it’s time for a check up.
Load More Replies... Flora Porter 1 year ago
One from me: he clearly had bipolar, and his doctor let him down by letting him think it was just depression and the ups were normal. The downs were a consequence of the ups.
Lyoness 7 months ago
Gently, if his doctor said he wasn't bipolar and you thought he was, which medical opinion is more likely to be right? The diagnosis for bipolar disorder is a lot more complex than seeing ups and downs. The assessment is based on the DSM-5 and that's not something the average person has access to, and even if they did they don't have the training to use it (it's more than just looking up symptoms). So with respect, his doctor was a lot more likely to have diagnosed him correctly.
Load More Replies... brittany 1 year ago
so heres mine. every time we were intimate felt like being r*ped. i begged, pleaded, got tapes and books to help find a good middle ground and it was all ignored. it always hurt, i always felt dirty afterwards. also i hate @n@l. i hate it. its not for me and it uncomfortable and i just hate it. no matter who it was with, i have always hated it. his only response was "relax and you will learn to like it" i never told him i felt like i was being r*ped, or that i would scrub my skin raw afterwards. maybe i should have.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago
He raped you. It's only a "yes" until the instant one of you says "no". You were raped.
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LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago (edited)
One from me: I don't wish anything bad for you, I genuinely hope you are successful in life and get the help you so desperately need, but you need to do it without me. You spent years and years manipulating me, gaslighting me into believing I didn't do enough when in reality, I did it all. It was never about money, it was about how for years I didn't notice how you were treating me, how all the effort and initiative was from my end. I wanted to be worth effort. Ten years ago we had a similar fight, only I fought to save us because I didn't want to be alone. Because I wasn't strong enough. Ten years later I've discovered my strength, and genuinely enjoy my peace, I'm not afraid to be alone. I hate myself for taking so long to realize all these truths, I hate you for doing it to me. But i still love you. I wish I didn't.
Anička 1 year ago
I empathize. I'm sorry this is a thing. You got this. 🧡
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Untamed Angel 1 year ago
That I had a crush on his friend and by the time my ex had finally broke up with me (after asking that we go on a break weeks prior) I was already over him and hoping to pursue his friend. Found out from his friend that my ex was actively trying to get with his friends sister while we were together so 🤷🏼♀️
day light 1 year ago
I've never felt a thing from your touches. your kisses felt like nothing against my lips, you holding my hand never made my heart race. the first time we tried being intimate, you hurt me so much worse than I told you you did. I bled for days afterwards. I felt incredibly disrespected when you blew into me... twice... even after I told you to absolutely never do that right before you went down on me. you never really listened to anything I said, so I learned to not talk at all about anything because when you did listen, you'd always end up warping my words somehow. my love for women was a bragging point for you when times were good, the fact that I picked you over any other, but it was always a fault of mine when you were feeling depressed. you are the reason I realized I'm not bisexual. you telling me I should be with a woman instead of you every time you'd try hurting yourself by insulting me made me realize there's just nothing good about you.
day light 1 year ago
you made for a good friend, and I wish you'd never fallen in love with me because this is a pandora's box I'm not sure can be closed. I hate you. I really really have come to resent you with all my being. I hate it when I'm hanging out with our friends and you show up. I don't want to hear your voice anymore. everything you've done to me has ruined my perception of you. you act like things are okay and that we're only on a break, but I don't think things can be repaired, not after all these months of you using me as your damn therapist every single day. I can't take any more of this, and all our friends know that by now because it's obvious. it's obvious yet you're in denial and want to be with me again. all you ever did was treat me like a hunk of meat anyways. I wonder if you remember what you said the first time I tried breaking up with you. "before things end between us, I have one request. can I see you in that lingerie you bought but never showed me?"
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Dawnieangel76 1 year ago
I'd tell them all that I wasn't actually scared of sex, I was disgusted at the idea, let alone doing it. The term "asexual" wasn't common knowledge in the late 90's, early 00's, and I thought there was something broken in myself. I haven't dated anyone since I was around 22...more than half my life ago...so I don't have to worry about telling anyone anything.
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
Bad breath is also from having a stomach problem, or digestive issue, sometimes even mouth cancer. Continued bad breath means it’s time for a check up.
Load More Replies... Flora Porter 1 year ago
One from me: he clearly had bipolar, and his doctor let him down by letting him think it was just depression and the ups were normal. The downs were a consequence of the ups.
Lyoness 7 months ago
Gently, if his doctor said he wasn't bipolar and you thought he was, which medical opinion is more likely to be right? The diagnosis for bipolar disorder is a lot more complex than seeing ups and downs. The assessment is based on the DSM-5 and that's not something the average person has access to, and even if they did they don't have the training to use it (it's more than just looking up symptoms). So with respect, his doctor was a lot more likely to have diagnosed him correctly.
Load More Replies... brittany 1 year ago
so heres mine. every time we were intimate felt like being r*ped. i begged, pleaded, got tapes and books to help find a good middle ground and it was all ignored. it always hurt, i always felt dirty afterwards. also i hate @n@l. i hate it. its not for me and it uncomfortable and i just hate it. no matter who it was with, i have always hated it. his only response was "relax and you will learn to like it" i never told him i felt like i was being r*ped, or that i would scrub my skin raw afterwards. maybe i should have.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago
He raped you. It's only a "yes" until the instant one of you says "no". You were raped.
Load More Replies... LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago (edited)
One from me: I don't wish anything bad for you, I genuinely hope you are successful in life and get the help you so desperately need, but you need to do it without me. You spent years and years manipulating me, gaslighting me into believing I didn't do enough when in reality, I did it all. It was never about money, it was about how for years I didn't notice how you were treating me, how all the effort and initiative was from my end. I wanted to be worth effort. Ten years ago we had a similar fight, only I fought to save us because I didn't want to be alone. Because I wasn't strong enough. Ten years later I've discovered my strength, and genuinely enjoy my peace, I'm not afraid to be alone. I hate myself for taking so long to realize all these truths, I hate you for doing it to me. But i still love you. I wish I didn't.
Anička 1 year ago
I empathize. I'm sorry this is a thing. You got this. 🧡
Load More Replies... Untamed Angel 1 year ago
That I had a crush on his friend and by the time my ex had finally broke up with me (after asking that we go on a break weeks prior) I was already over him and hoping to pursue his friend. Found out from his friend that my ex was actively trying to get with his friends sister while we were together so 🤷🏼♀️
day light 1 year ago
I've never felt a thing from your touches. your kisses felt like nothing against my lips, you holding my hand never made my heart race. the first time we tried being intimate, you hurt me so much worse than I told you you did. I bled for days afterwards. I felt incredibly disrespected when you blew into me... twice... even after I told you to absolutely never do that right before you went down on me. you never really listened to anything I said, so I learned to not talk at all about anything because when you did listen, you'd always end up warping my words somehow. my love for women was a bragging point for you when times were good, the fact that I picked you over any other, but it was always a fault of mine when you were feeling depressed. you are the reason I realized I'm not bisexual. you telling me I should be with a woman instead of you every time you'd try hurting yourself by insulting me made me realize there's just nothing good about you.
day light 1 year ago
you made for a good friend, and I wish you'd never fallen in love with me because this is a pandora's box I'm not sure can be closed. I hate you. I really really have come to resent you with all my being. I hate it when I'm hanging out with our friends and you show up. I don't want to hear your voice anymore. everything you've done to me has ruined my perception of you. you act like things are okay and that we're only on a break, but I don't think things can be repaired, not after all these months of you using me as your damn therapist every single day. I can't take any more of this, and all our friends know that by now because it's obvious. it's obvious yet you're in denial and want to be with me again. all you ever did was treat me like a hunk of meat anyways. I wonder if you remember what you said the first time I tried breaking up with you. "before things end between us, I have one request. can I see you in that lingerie you bought but never showed me?"
Load More Replies... Dawnieangel76 1 year ago
I'd tell them all that I wasn't actually scared of sex, I was disgusted at the idea, let alone doing it. The term "asexual" wasn't common knowledge in the late 90's, early 00's, and I thought there was something broken in myself. I haven't dated anyone since I was around 22...more than half my life ago...so I don't have to worry about telling anyone anything.
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