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Skateboarding for hours on end after school, roaming around the mall with friends despite having no money to shop, working your first job at a coffee shop and feeling invincible through it all. Being a teenager was an incredibly special experience, but at the time, many of us were fixated on fantasizing about the future. When I grow up, I’ll be able to stay out as late as I want!
The realities of being an adult often hit us like a ton of bricks, though. Suddenly, bills seem endless, and you realize that groceries don’t magically appear in your fridge. To help prepare teens for “the real world,” Redditors have been sharing some of the most important things young people should understand. So below, you’ll find some hard truths and sage advice that your teenage self may have benefited from hearing, as well as a conversation with Daniel Friedman of Modern Teen.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.
— Captain Jean-Luc Picard
RELATED:
#2
You are better off being the naive idiot who’s always nice even to mean people than to be mean to nice people.
#3
$1000 is a lot to owe but not a lot to have…
To learn more about what teens should learn before entering "the real world," we reached out to Daniel Friedman, the Founder of Modern Teen, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. When it comes to the top things Daniel thinks teens should understand before becoming adults, he shared, "Not everything is as black and white as it seems. Try to understand both sides of any situation and formulate your own opinion before choosing a side."
"Working on yourself only gets harder as you get older, so don't stop taking care of your mind and body," he continued. "Building good habits is one of the most important things you can do before you enter the real world as an adult, and getting rid of bad habits is equally as powerful."
#4
During high-school learning how to learn is more important than anything you're actually learning.
#5
Life never “settles down”. If something is important to you then you should get to it ASAP.
#6
Don’t worry about not having the respect of people you don’t respect.
Daniel also shared some advice his teenage self could have benefited from hearing. "Talk to more people and work on your confidence. I closed myself off too much as a teen, and I could've been even more confident as a person today if I just opened up a little more to people," he told Bored Panda.
We were also curious about what the best parts of being a teen are and what they should be sure to take advantage of while they can. "As a teenager, you're still surrounded by the same people everyday - and that's a good thing because you have the chance to build some great connections with others, while being more mature than a young kid," Daniel noted. "But you have to learn to not rely on your phone and social media all the time because real life will become less interesting the more you use it."
#7
Friendships take maintenance.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Make sure you drop maintenance "how are you" messages every month to anyone you actually like. Takes minimal effort, can be copy/pasted, makes people think you care enough to bother.
#8
You can work hard and do all the right things and it doesn't guarantee success. You can be the kindest, best person for others, and they can still betray you. But that doesn't mean you should not be kind and work hard.
#9
You know how sometimes you think to yourself "when I'm an adult and have my own place I'll be able to do whatever I want"?
Make sure whatever you want includes doing the dishes
Finally, Daniel added, "Practice discipline and focus on your independence as early as possible. The earlier you can do that, the easier the transition into adulthood will be. Best of luck!"
If you're a teen who'd like to hear more words of wisdom, or you have a teen who might appreciate the insight on Daniel's site, be sure to visit Modern Teen right here!
#10
PEOPLE LIE. Just because they're an adult doesn't mean they always tell the truth.
LinManuelMiranda 2 years ago
This is something all kids have to realize at some point and for some it can be quite a rude awakening
#11
Document everything with your landlord. Keep texts, receipts, no oral agreements, and follow everything to the tenancy laws.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
And photos, take and keep photos from day1 of the tenancy else you'll get blamed for damage that was already there.
#12
You are the main character in your story but You are not even an afterthought to 7 billion people.
Edit: 8 billion people, damn!
kansasmagic 2 years ago
...and some of you (us) will feel more like a background character in our own story.
#13
Comparison is the thief of joy
#15
For better or for worse, confidence opens as many doors as competence.
#16
If you dont plan your own b-day parties you wont have b-day parties. Friends planing something for you are super rare. Its not like on tv. You have to make an effort to have a social life.
You ll have to work to have a good life and you ll be tired like you never have been before. It will make having fun and going out harder.
Enjoy being a teenager as long as you can. But dont try to fight becoming an adult, because it will just get harder and harder.
#18
There is a huge chance the people you call your closest friends now, wont be in your life in the upcoming years.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
Fake friends are like shadows. They are present in your brightest times but they disappear in your darkest.
#20
No one owes you s**t. Realizing this is what pushed me into being successful after being a jerkoff student all through school.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Again, I've seen this way less in teenagers and way *more* in older people
#21
Nobody really knows what they’re doing
#22
Get a good mattress, the best for as much as you can afford. Brush your teeth. SAVE MONEY Exercise, eat well. (Don't deny yourself eating c**p) just do it proportionally. Make your bed every morning. People are a******s. (You find out the ones that aren't, keep them close) Don't try and please everyone. Don't take anything to heart, even from loved ones, you're your own person. Know what to believe and appreciate. Don't get cheap toilet paper Don't get cheap washing up liquid Learn how to change wheels on a car, bike etc. Learn how to replace car bulbs, basic checks, how to use jump leads. Learn to sew, to mend clothing. SAVE MONEY don't get the 'best' of everything, get what you can afford without getting yourself into debt. Learn to cook. Learn to relax Learn to clean Look after your body. Drink water. SAVE MONEY.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Save money IF YOU ARE ABLE. Telling someone living paycheck to paycheck to save money is condescending at best.
#23
Having a goal and a plan in life doesn't automatically mean it's going to work out, especially if you don't come from money. It's okay to fail. This world is kinda f****d up, and it's not always your fault.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I dont plan at all. I find that just accepting every reasonable opportunity offer is the best way. Especially if there is no buy-in cost. If there is a buy-in cost then do not take the opportunity, it is a scam or MLM.
#24
Your job sees you as replaceable. Look out for yourself and your family. Your job is not everything but it will feel like it is, make sure that if you don't like where you are that you change it. Don't be miserable at a job because it pays well
#25
Society owes you nothing, and the universe is indifferent.
OmBoyGanesh 2 years ago
“Who do you think you are? You're insignificant. A small piece, an ism. No more, no less” - Tricky
#26
The ones that’ll hurt you most are those closest to you.
LinManuelMiranda 2 years ago
Oh yeah. My middle school boyfriend was my closest friend for years before we dated and when things didn't work out it hurt me more than anything
#27
1. You would be amazed at the things each person on this earth has had to overcome. Everyone has a story, everyone here has battled, and everyone is a victim of something or someone. Be proud of your survival and celebrate your birthdays.
2. We are complex creatures. We are not defined by any one action but by the decisions we make day to day. Of course, extreme decisions will sway the tides. Point is, someone can be nice and charming and wonderful and a hero, and also an evil opportunist in the next moment. Never give someone total control of your safety and well being. Rely on you.
3. Your body is a pathetic soft fleshy blob of helplessness especially when you’re driving 80 mph in a glass and steel death trap buffered by protective paint on the road. You can die. Painfully. Many have found this out the hard way. Don’t text, or drink and drive. It only takes a second of stupidity to end it all.
4. The good moments make everything else worth it. That’s why
#28
The World does not revolve around you.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
I've encountered way fewer teenagers with this mindset than I have older people.
#29
You are responsible for everything you do , and you will be held accountable. Enjoy your youth til 16 , because after that the kid gloves come off
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
I was this was true for sooooooo many politicians and the rich & powerful
#30
No life plan survives contact with the real world.
We're all basically just winging it.
#31
Life is extremely unfair. And there is no reason for that. People who have expectations of things being fair in the real world are always sorely disappointed.
#32
Heads up: People younger than 25 arent taken seriously in the workforce. Around 30 there's this weird shift where suddenly and for no reason people start respecting your opinion more. But until then your sort of the underclassmen in life
George Colombo 2 years ago
Also worth noting, at age 65 or thereabouts, there's another dramatic shift back in the opposite direction: You are no longer taken seriously in the workforce or anywhere else for that matter. Everyone you meet assumes you're an idiot.
#33
YOLO attitude in most cases will set you back years in your life.
Just_for_this 2 years ago
conversely you'll forget about that extra wage bonus you earned when you were 22, you wont forget about trekking through the mountains sleeping under the stars.
#34
(Not only for teenagers) The world is not fair Believing in Karma/retribution is just a way we use to cope Punishment wont come to those that do bad deeds. And good things wont happen to those that do good deeds. We do the right thing because its the right thing to do in our own counsciousness. But most of the time you wont be remembered for it Just try to live life the best you can.
Saint Tim the Godless 2 years ago
Punishment will only come to those who harm us if we force them to happen ourselves. "Karma" and an "afterlife" are just tools that powerful a******s use to avoid accountability. There's no "justice", there is "just us".
#35
Learn how to manage money. Too many young people get deep into debt because they don't know how to save or how credit cards actually work. Remember that there is an order of where your money goes: Rent and bills must come first and foremost, then everything else.
#36
Learn about finances now - the danger of debt, how to do taxes, how to invest etc.
#37
It’s more expensive than you think.
#38
'Confronting' people and getting angry is usually pointless. Most of the time it leaves you in a worse situation, not a better one.
Alex J 2 years ago
Depends on where your threshold is set between confrontation and standing up for yourself. I’ve seen many people eat the wrong thing at a restaurant to avoid “confrontation.” I worked kitchens for 7 years, if you got the wrong dish, just say something. Only a truly unhinged restaurant worker would get mad at that.
#39
Don’t plan on having the same friends, people switch up. Do not rely on anyone, whatever you get yourself into do not expect help, it’s on you. It sounds cliche but don’t rely on alcohol to cure your boredom
#40
Life is unfair. Someone will always get paid more than you while doing less work than you. You'll wonder how people can afford some things when you're struggling to make ends meet. You'll most likely need two incomes to afford a 1 bedroom apartment. Having roommates isn't as fun as you imagine. You'll start to treasure your alone time more.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
Life is not fair or unfair. Life has nothing to do with fairness anymore than music or multiplication do.
#41
Not everyone at work is your friend. You are there to do a job, make money and go home. Never show loyalty to a company who would , after your death, be looking for your replacement before your body is even buried. Be kind to others , we are all going through our own hell , but only let a few people in. People will use the venerabilities you reveal to hurt you in life, finances or career. Keep your shields up and only lower them for absolute allies. Careful lending money to friends or family. Many stories of people never being paid back. Be comfortable being completely alone. Only then will you find the difference between needing and wanting. No you don’t need the newest of the next thing. Your old car, your old tv , etc . if it runs well and is reliable its fine. Honestly. The world doesn’t care what you drive.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I do not lend money, if someone asks me for it, I tell them they can have it. If I do not have the capacity to lend (I don't have that money), then I say so straight up.
#42
That it’s all about marketing. It doesn’t matter that much how hard you work, it’s more about how you sell yourself. That even if your point of view is correct, without proper communication and negotation skills no one will probably care.
Bec 2 years ago
I've been on some hiring committees lately. I'd encourage anyone applying to a job to do some cursory prep, get some coaching if you are in a position to do so, but you can find lots of basics about how to prep and possible questions online. It's not always the most qualified who gets the job, we have to work with you so being likeable, knowledgeable, and passionate is what makes the difference. At least have an 'elevator pitch' to introduce yourself and an answer to why you want the job (that is not my current job sucks).
#43
That everything is temporary.
#44
You are not entitled to anything. Nobody owes you anything! Work hard, save, make smart decisions & surround yourself with like minded people.
Saint Tim the Godless 2 years ago (edited)
... and you'll still probably fail! And you will absolutely suffer. So what good is THIS piece of advice? Other than trying to motivate people to pointlessly "grind"?
#45
Most of the gut feelings you have about yourself and life are correct. Don’t let other people tell you otherwise. They don’t know better than you. They’re just trying to impose their views on you. Be yourself. Edit for clarification: I’m talking about life choices and core values here not every decision in your life. You should always be informed and be open to feedback from others but ultimately you should always choose what feels right for you. I grew up undiagnosed autistic which led to me making far too much effort to be like other people which in turn led me to do many uncomfortable things and to make some life choices that ultimately didn’t work out for me. If I had trusted my self more I would have had a better life until now.
#46
Most people will have to deal with your parents dying at some point in your life. It's not easy at all
#47
You don't need to figure everything out and be successful by 25. People like to joke but your 30's are a lot more young than you think they are and that's usually when things come together.
#49
Social media lies a lot about the dating scene. It's not as hard as others on social media make it. And confidence is something you get from someone, something or you earn it. You can't just switch to confident mindset on a whim like others may make it seem. People will be rude to you if they want, we wish we could change them, but some people don't change or don't want to. Do not fall for negatives social trends, an example is the core core sad boy trend. Even fake confidence could get you so far. And lastly some people are just built different, we can't sit and be jealous or think of ways to change them, all you can do is respect it
#50
You're gonna get knocked down and pummeled by life. Not all the time. But there's 100% going to be hardships in your life where you want to give up. F*****g don't give up. Life goes on whether youre trying or not. So why not try? Even if it's just a little bit. Life is all about consistency. Consistently just try to do better. You might not do as great as you did last week, a few days ago, or even yesterday. Life isn't about that. Life is about getting the f**k back up and making it a point to yourself only, that your about bettering yourself. This goes with so many aspects of life. Just cause you succeed today won't mean you succeed tomorrow. What really matters is the little wins you created. They stack up and you'll feel more confident when you do what you have to do, no matter how your feeling. Not saying miss your grandma's funeral, I'm saying when it does count. Life will hit you with setbacks but it's up to you to be courageous enough to keep on pushing.
#52
Whatever it is that you want, you have to work very very hard to get it, there is no easy way. AND save every single penny you get, you WILL have an emergency when you WILL need it.
kansasmagic 2 years ago
Good advice, but if you're at the "saving every penny" stage, then you're pretty much already screwed. I forget the exact statistic, but a huge percentage of Americans cannot afford a $500 emergency. That is an arbitrary number, and in my experience anything related to home or car repair, or your physical health, will cost far more than $500. That's a *lot* of pennies.
#53
don't let yourself get talked into some bizarre facile idea of what the world and life is like. it's definitely gonna be different
#55
Hanlon's Razor is the real deal: Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Theoretical Empiricist 2 years ago
Add to that ignorance, fatigue, and a host of other forgivable shortcomings.
#58
No. One. Cares. Seriously. No one cares about your feelings or “anxiety,” or “depression.” Everyone has stuff in their lives they’re dealing with. Stop acting like you’re some unique individual who needs special treatment. Your “mental health problems,” mean nothing to anyone else. Stop acting like you’re the center of the ****ing universe. The sooner you realize you’re on your own and only YOU can fix YOUR problems, the sooner life becomes manageable.
Rosemary mcfadden 2 years ago
A tad harsh. But basically true. When the demons are on your back though, it's not as easy, as some would say, get a grip, pull yourself up by your boot straps, etc. it's f*****g paralysing (pardon my French). You know what you should be doing but you just find it impossible to beat your anxiety and depression sometimes. And sometimes you just want to disappear from the world, you don't give a f**k about anything and the last thing you'd want is to bet
#59
you're allowed to tell people "no." boss, friends, family, whoever. you don't owe anyone s**t
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
If someone is paying you for a job and the request is reasonable and within work hours, then yes, you do owe the payer to do the work.
#60
Just actually try in everything you do
#61
There are consequences to all your choices and you will face them all one way or another.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
It's taking way too long for consequences to catch up to some high profile people though!
#62
The greatest skill to ever learn is to adapt and find next steps. Regardless of how s**t a situation gets, there will be a way to adapt and find your next steps.
#63
I see a lot of the younger new hires trying to impress the veteran staff There is no need to impress your peers. Your happiness and safety is far more important than what they think of you. Especially when your attempts to impress them could lead you to getting fired, hurt, or even sent to prison. Also, to the one guy in particular that'll probably never see this, we all know everything you claim is nonsense. Your mom works in medical and wishes you would stop being so outlandish with your exaggerations. There is nothing wrong with not having the newest and coolest things when you're just starting out at your first real job.
Lene 2 years ago
There's nothing wrong with not having the newest and coolest things. Ever. If it works then there's no need to replace it. If you want to replace it with something you think will make you happier then you either wait to buy the replacement until your current thing breaks OR you give/sell your current thing to someone who'll be happy for it, save up for replacement and then get the new thing.
#64
**No one** has a f*****g clue what they are doing... We're all just winging it and hoping for the best.
#65
That people will try and obstruct your dreams at every turn. Do not let then
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
nah, they are just trying to live their dreams. They only obstruct you if they think you are going to eat their lunch. If someone gets aggressive with you at work, tell them you are not a threat - directly. Tell them it's not a zero-sum game.
#66
A great philosopher named Kyojuro Rengoku once said, 'Set your heart ablaze!' If you're passionate about something, drown every distraction out and give your all to your passion/ calling, it's truly a gift to live on your own terms no matter how much inital pain being at the bottom might temporarily bring about. I promise you, the quiet desperation that most people who didn't follow this is more harrowing than any pain you can imagine because it feels eternal. Also, be kinder to yourself, it's ok to not be the best, just aim for a little better each day and you'll be surprised how far you've come when you look back. That youthful glint, if you still have it is a beautiful flame that draws people in no matter what age you are and can really provide so much inspiration to people just by living an honest life to who you really are.
Jason Rowe 2 years ago (edited)
I agree with this to an extent. But some people use this logic to justify not having gainful employment and counting on the good will or forced support of others to provide for them while they "follow their passion." The people who have a passion and calling for earning a useless degree such as ancient Greek philosophy or something like that still have bills to pay. Responsibilities always come first. If you are able to turn your passion into a career, awesome! Good on you. Otherwise, follow your passions in your free time.
#67
strong friendships are great to have fun and support each other. but don’t expect everything from them including your significant other. just accept what they can offer.
kansasmagic 2 years ago
And please, please don't try to make other people over in your image. Understand the difference between "you should" and "*I think* you should."
#68
Your perception and mindset has a great influence on how you feel and act. Thus, always have a clear and sometimes ambitious goal you're working toward. You will have to choose and keep track of these yourself
#69
Get a job, even if you're spoiled and your parents don't make you. It really shows as you get older if you haven't worked a day in your life. People that graduate from university without ever having a job is quite embarrassing and not a flex in any way whatsoever. Also how does that look if you graduate with a degree and your resume has absolutely nothing on it...
#70
Teachers that tell you "College professors won't take late homework, so you better get used to it now!" "You won't be able to turn in work late when you have a **real job** in the **real world**!" are *f*****g lying.* Yes, of course, sometimes s**t needs to be on time. Pay your rent. Pay your bills. Pay your taxes. When you're at work, there are of course some deadlines that can't be ignored. However, lots of things and people and shipments and payments are f*****g late all the time. You'll have to email and call people multiple times to even get them to answer, let alone send you that signed document they promised 3 weeks ago they would send you by last friday. People forget things, people are late, people mess up, and a large percentage of the time the world doesn't end and nobody actually gets in trouble.
robin aldrich 2 years ago
I think the whole point is.... You might be coddled now, but don't expect to be coddled when you enter the real world.
#71
There are no adults, only children who've gotten old enough to be responsible for things.
Lyone Fein 2 years ago
Disagree. I think the great difference between the two is that children have someone else who will clean up their messes for them. An adult is someone who decides to clean up their own messes.
What do you think ?
kansasmagic 2 years ago
And is bizarrely excluded from most health insurance! If you get benefits from your job, be sure to ask about dental coverage.
Load More Replies...
Tomato Froggo 2 years ago
When you’re a teenager, a lot of adults just assume you’re “up to no good” and I hate it. I was walking in front of stores after school, and this old couple just SHOVES us out of the way, mumbling about useless kids. Please, we’re trying our best, don’t be too hard on teenagers. I know I have to grow up and get over it, but I hate that I’m “too young” for everything, yet have to act like an adult everywhere.
Groundcontroltomajortom 2 years ago
This post made me realise how ill equipped I myself was in entering "adulthood", whatever the heck that actually means.
kansasmagic 2 years ago
And is bizarrely excluded from most health insurance! If you get benefits from your job, be sure to ask about dental coverage.
Load More Replies... Tomato Froggo 2 years ago
When you’re a teenager, a lot of adults just assume you’re “up to no good” and I hate it. I was walking in front of stores after school, and this old couple just SHOVES us out of the way, mumbling about useless kids. Please, we’re trying our best, don’t be too hard on teenagers. I know I have to grow up and get over it, but I hate that I’m “too young” for everything, yet have to act like an adult everywhere.
Groundcontroltomajortom 2 years ago
This post made me realise how ill equipped I myself was in entering "adulthood", whatever the heck that actually means.
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