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When you're organizing a wedding, you need to find the right balance between two things. On the one hand, you want to fulfill your vision for your Big Day and celebrate things in the way that you're most comfortable with. On the other hand, you also want to ensure that your family and friends are having a great time at your wedding. Otherwise, what's the point of inviting anyone at all? While there's no such thing as a 'perfect' wedding, you still want to put in the effort.
Imogen Marshall went viral recently after inviting everyone to share their thoughts about weddings and marriage. She asked wedding guests to spill the beans about the things they honestly hate and wish that couples would stop doing. Scroll down for their thoughts and opinions. And if you're organizing a wedding this year, you might want to take some notes…
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
The narcissistic ‘list of rules’, the must-be-perfect complex & it’s MY day & ‘I’M in the spotlight!’ You’re getting married to a person. Not crowned empress of the universe. Calm down.
Lyoness 10 months ago
There's a reason the term "bridezilla" exists. It's one day and it belongs to both of you. The "me me me!" entitlement drives me nuts too.
Emie N. 10 months ago
Groomzilla should be a thing since I've seen it the other way around too.
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Nikki Gross 10 months ago
This is one of the biggest reasons why I don't miss being a cake decorator. I've seen a grown a*s woman, throw herself down on the ground and roll around screaming like a 3 year old, because she's NOT getting her way. All kinds of things have been thrown at me, incl. buckets of ice cream, because what she wanted me to do on a birthday cake, was copyright infringement and I would lose my job. Have been shown multiple d**k pictures for reference, even after explaining that our bakery could NOT do those styles of cakes. Not too mention all of the family members that were constantly wanting me to do their cakes for free, including paying for all of the supplies. That job f****d me up physically by the time I was 31 and EVERY Doctor that I went to told me to change jobs.
Untamed Snark 10 months ago
Cake decorating is one of those jobs that sounds lovely until you have to factor in some of the customers.
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Marnie 10 months ago
Also, it seems to always be the bride and often they don't seem to give a hoot what their poor groom wants.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
There have been some "groomzillas" but the brides are usually the ones mentioned more.
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Nea 10 months ago
Is this common in other countries outside USA too? Genuinely asking. I never see people become bridezillas in India at least.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
This is a bit of a generalization and not intended to be a stereotype, but I believe women in India are generally viewed and treated far different than they are in the US. Additionally, a woman's family members (especially their parents) control a lot more of their life than parents generally do in the US. There are a lot of cultural and religious expectations on girls and women in India to prioritize family/childbearing over their own personal or professional aspirations and wishes. This can possibly end up causing women to feel helpless and powerless about decision-making in regards to their own wedding - sometimes even WHO they marry - so there is absolutely no room for "bridezillas" in general Indian culture, as women would likely not even dare to act this way.
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The Knot reports that based on their findings, the average cost of a wedding in the United States in 2023 was $35,000. And that’s not counting the wedding ring!
The biggest costs included the venue (37% of the average wedding budget), catering (28%), the band (12%), and wedding rings (9%).
Other top wedding costs included photography, alcohol, and flowers (all 8% of the average budget), as well as videography (7%), couples attire (also 7%), the wedding planner (6%), event rentals (also 6%), and the lighting and decor (5%), The Knot found.
RELATED:
#2
Destination weddings!
Lyoness 10 months ago
This should be way higher. I think it's ok if a couple does this without the expectation that everyone will come, but doing it and expecting people to shell out thousands so they get a discount on their wedding is selfish and tacky.
Marnie 10 months ago
Agreed. My niece and her now-husband did a destination wedding in Las Vegas. It was the first one I'd heard of. This was maybe 15-20 years ago. They told everyone in the family that they were welcome to come, but they absolutely didn't expect it. (I think they were hoping for a very small affair.) The only people they really wanted to be there were their parents, but they checked it with their parents first. My sister definitely could not have afforded to go, but my niece knew that and offered up front to pay for her trip and hotel. Now, my sister being my sister, she racked up like $700 in movies and room service on the hotel bill in 3 or 4 days :-( My niece and her husband didn't make a TON of money and they were rightfully upset, but I don't think they ever pressed it. Anyway, I see no problem with how my niece did it, but these new-fangled destinations like they do nowadays sicken me.
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StrangeOne 10 months ago
Not only is it a huge expense, but not everyone can have that time booked for vacation. It's also asking people to use their vacation for your wedding, when they may have wanted other plans for their precious vacation time.
Bob Jones 10 months ago
The worst are destination wedding where the guests are expected to buy the expensive "wedding accommodation and transport package" to stay at the resort where the wedding is. This then subsidises the wedding. I had a distant relative bridezilla get upset because people didn't want to pay thousands to attend her wedding in Fiji, and she needed a certain number of people to buy the package for them to have the wedding there.
Judes 10 months ago
It depends. If your close family is scattered around the world, then somewhere in the middle might be the best option, but you've got to expect only some people will be able to attend. I went to Hawaii for my husband's brother's wedding for this reason---they only invited 8 people and everyone was happy to go.
Con O Cuinn 10 months ago
Here's the thing, in Ireland it's very possible that a "destination" wedding in mainland Europe will cost you basically the same as in Ireland. Excluding spending money, I spent less on flights and accommodation in Portugal for 5 days than I did for 2 days in an Irish hotel.
Niamh_ie 10 months ago
I think we (Irish) have a very different view on destination weddings. Majority of the time no matter where the wedding is people are going to have to travel as it's very unlikely the couple have always lived in the same town/city and all the guests are from the same place. Half of the fun is the residents bar after the wedding 🙈😂😂 I live in Scotland and when we (hubby is Scottish) were pricing wedding options it worked out cheaper to get married in Donegal than Scotland.
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geezeronthehill 10 months ago
Our destination was the county courthouse. Hey! It's a very nice courthouse!
Mason Kronol 10 months ago
They aren’t bad if you do them right and aren’t selfish and over the top. We did a “destination wedding” but it was a 4 hour drive to a place people like to travel to and had a lot of different hotel options. We cleared it with the main people that would definitely be there and offered to pay hotels for some and they refused. They took it as a mini vacation/road trip. More people than we thought would showed up and it was so fun and no pressure! We had also planned an informal reception 2 weeks later, think VFW, that was central to all family and it was a blast because we had the videos of the wedding but could mingle and dance with everyone without stress or being exhausted.
DC and S 10 months ago
A place guests can drive to day of, I personally wouldn't consider destination. My family lives about 4 hours from me and I can drive there, visit for 4-6 hours, and still drive back home all in the same day.
Load More Replies... DC and S 10 months ago
Yes! It's very presumptuous. It assumes people can take the time off, 2 - will /use up their vacation time for YOUR wedding (it's not a vacation if you don't have a say in when, where and what you do) 3-- it leaves people with less money in a personal and financial bind. Either they struggle with the expense or only your better off friends and relatives get to go. 4 -- people can SAY no expectations/join us if you can, but, especially for close family, there IS a big pressure to be there.... If you want to do a destination wedding, just do it on your own and throw a party when you get back.
#3
Purposefully seating you with people you don’t know to “get people chatting” just sit me with people I know please, none of us are here to make friends.
Brian Droste 10 months ago
Yep, if I am paired with people that I don't know, especially if the other people know each other and are having a conservation, I am just going to sit there quietly and listen. Unless someone brings something up that I am truly interested in.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Same. I find it awkward and don't know what to say.
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Mabelbabel 10 months ago
I hate that. I didn't go to the weddings of a couple of friends because I was single, wasn't offered a +1 and really didn't want to be on my own on a table with nobody that I knew. I'd rather they give my space to someone who'd really enjoy being there.
Totally happy Panda 10 months ago (edited)
Thank God I am in India. Weddings are a happy place to meet people you know, anybody can sit at any d**n place with any d**n person they want to. Love Weddings like these
Upstaged75 10 months ago
My brother and his wife did that at their wedding. I was so annoyed. The only people I knew were my parents and I wasn't allowed to sit with them. They put me with some weird cousins of the bride they hoped I'd bond with. Not only did I not bond, I strongly disliked them. :(
Liza Clarke 10 months ago
yep, especially putting all the unmarried guests together. I've been to several family weddings where I was stuck with people I'd never heard of just because we were all single
Roni Stone 10 months ago
My partner, who has panic disorder, would literally break the table top in pieces trying to white knuckle herself through seating like that. Then again, she wouldn't have to because I'd be in Bridezilla's face, slobbering all over that way too expensive pearl encrusted organza Barbie dress like the feral pit-bull I am when I'm angry. Or just leave. We'd more likely just go grab a pizza and pig out at home.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
In the day of phones, it's incredibly rude to be staring at your phone during someone else's wedding.
Load More Replies...Meanwhile, according to The Knot 2023 Guest Study, the main things that wedding guests care about include a well-thought-out wedding website, delicious food (yay!), great music, a beautiful reception setting, tasty drinks, as well as fun wedding entertainment.
Other details to focus on include reliable transportation, a smooth ‘show’ with good timing, and seeing the couple happy. “You could spend all the money in the world, hire a celebrity performer and have a 50-yard slip-and-slide—but if you and your partner are unhappy, table-bound or M.I.A. for the night, no one will have a good time. You two, the beaming newlyweds, are the North Star of this party. If you’re relaxed, smiling and dancing, your guests will follow suit and never forget how much fun they had.”
#4
Having four day hen weekends abroad that cost a fortune, what happened to a local night out
Beth Wheeler 10 months ago
Bachelor and bachelorette parties are so stupid, a lot of people get drunk and stupid and cheat. A lot of weddings get cancelled because of it when the other person finds out. Or the marriage ends when they find out.
Child of the Stars 10 months ago
My bachelorette party was a Star Wars marathon and junk food with my best friend/MOH. My husband's bachelor party was a wedding themed D&D session at his best man's house.
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Squirrelly Panda 10 months ago
My hubby's bachelor party went very nearly as I knew it would. His best man took everyone to a strip club where, after a couple of awkward minutes the whole bachelor party noped out of there and went to another friend's house and watched Beanie and Cecil cartoons while eating junk food. I thought it would be Rocky and Bullwinkle, otherwise I nailed it.
Tropical Tarot 10 months ago
My wife's bachelorette party was a day at the beach and then they went to the Chinese buffet. I was invited but I am not a beachy person. My bachelorette party was dinner at a local drag show review. And my wife came with me. Then a few of us went to a local strip club. I had never been to one.
#5
People spending a fortune to try and make the day perfect but forget to actually enjoy the day.
#6
Leaving the guests hungry! I’ve started bringing protein bars in my clutch bag. Better to have more bulky but cheaper canapés. And speeches after each course as opposed to all before
Damned_Cat 10 months ago
And for pity's sake, do not have an early evening wedding if you aren't going to serve anything but cake at the reception.
Nikole 10 months ago
Okay but why does the woman in the photo look like she just has one giant boob?
The Other Guest 10 months ago
I'm presuming that's a facetious question, but on the off chance that it isn't: odd camera angle combined with a sun flare & the stretch of the fabric. It looks more like a normal bustline if you embiggen the picture, as there is a vertical line of ruching that is washed out by the flare. Odd position for her arm, though, with the back of the hand facing towards the body. I don't think I've ever seen anyone stand that way.
Load More Replies... Nota Robot 10 months ago
In part of the Netherlands it is customary to leave your guests to their own devices while the couple and a select number of guests go to the bridal dinner. Afterwards the rest of the guests come back for the reception and/or party.
Deciding who and how many people to invite to your wedding is a massive question that’s going to impact practically every aspect of the Big Day. It’ll affect the size of your venue as well as its location. It’ll have an impact on your food and decoration vendors, the entertainment you have to plan, as well as a dozen other things, big and small. And, yes, it’ll affect your budget.
To put it plainly, if you want to have a big wedding, you either have to have a huge budget or convince your family and friends to pitch in for the grand celebration. On the flip side, a smaller guest list likely means less financial stress.
#7
It’s just me and my problem as I cringe at it - but when they serenade each other. Guys … I love that you love each other but this isn’t high school musical
justagirl 10 months ago
If my boyfriend and I do get married, the wedding will be me constantly singing"THERE'S HYDROGEN AND HELIUM AND LITHIUM BERYLIUM!" and my boyfriend groaning and having to sit down becuase, seriously justagirl, you've been singing that damn song for YEARS.
Multa Nocte 10 months ago
There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium, and hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium . . .
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Toothless Feline 10 months ago
I’m eternally grateful that I’ve never attended a wedding with this.
Upstaged75 10 months ago
The worst one I've ever encountered was when the bride's aunt and uncle brought a boom box up the aisle and proceeded to sing karaoke to Morning Has Broken by Cat Stevens. Not only were they insanely awful, it was SO funny but I couldn't laugh out loud. Another friend and I still joke about it 20 years later.
DC and S 10 months ago (edited)
I have nothing against it as an idea. But in reality I would be so awkward/wouldn't know what to for the duration of the song do if someone sang to me. Where do I look? I can't just STARE at them the whole time. What do I do with my face? Am I showing appropriate appreciation? Do I smile the whole time awkwardly? If I don't, does it look like I am upset? ..... When I see others get serenaded I still feel these things 2nd hand and then start wondering the same questions but from my position as a spectator. So I just get all awkward and embarrassed.
#8
Someone wanting me to spend 1000s on their wedding. Its your day, I get it - but be realistic.
K Barnes 10 months ago
My best friend asked me to be a bridesmaid while I was a super broke university student. She was getting kind of annoyed that I couldn't keep up with the other bridesmaids with financial support for events (it was all out of student loan money), so I showed her my bank account statements from the last few months. She actually apologized and said she forgot that I was in a different financial situation and was SUPER accepting of whatever I could do after that. There's a reason I like her so much!!
Ruth Watry 10 months ago (edited)
Essentially, people expecting you to pay over a month of your monthly expenses to go to their wedding
BossyHossy1 10 months ago (edited)
My Mom, sister, SIL, and I got my cousin a very expensive 40 pc dish set (plate, salad plate, soup bowl, cup and saucer ×8) for her shower. She cried as she opened it and later pulled my Mom to the side to ask where she got it. She told us her rich MIL-to-be had overruled her on virtually all of her picks for the registry as lacking formality and grace. Cuz turned around took everything back and got her picks!!
#9
Being weird about plus ones when there isn't a space restriction. I'm recently disabled & can't travel alone. My my long term bf was not invited as only if your engaged or married.
Pittsburgh rare 10 months ago
Hahaha, totally. The bride couldn't stand me and *casually* my then bf received an invitation without a plus one. Other guests had a plus one. Didn't mind it at all because I wouldn't have gone anyway. Wasn't gonna give money to someone who clearly didn't like me.
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Trillian 10 months ago (edited)
I have never ever encountered that here. It seems so weird to think that every couple is going to get married eventually. Tons of people live together and raise children without ever bothering to marry. I get not wanting someone to bring a new date that no one knows, but this fixation on engaged/married ist weird.
StrangeOne 10 months ago (edited)
I've been invited to a wedding like this. My bf/common-law husband, whom we have a kid together, was not invited to a wedding on my side of the family because we weren't officially married. Just me and my kid. I did go, but we agreed it was a d**k move.
Ashtophet’sRevenge 10 months ago
It seems hopelessly old fashioned to only allow married or engaged couples…
Ruth 10 months ago
I always thought it was because they didn’t want to pay for extra people at the reception. Have to draw the line somewhere and be consistent about it to keep from seeming to play favorites I guess. However, I would much rather see a smaller wedding or a less lavish reception and allow a plus one for everyone invited.
Event and wedding planner Brianne Garritano told Vogue that the size of your guest list will tremendously influence your wedding budget.
“Your venue and your food and beverage are going to comprise some of the largest proportions of your budget. So, the very first thing that you have to do is figure out how many guests you’re going to be inviting, and then out of that number, what is the probability that they’re going to come? Because sometimes there’s a 10% drop-off, and it’s dependent on what time of year [and] where it is,” she explained.
What are the biggest dos and don’ts from your perspective as wedding guests, dear Pandas? What do you love and loathe that marrying couples do? What do you value the most as guests? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!
#10
Taking hours to do staged photos - 100% will not be doing this at my wedding
Michelle Randazzo 10 months ago
And seriously, mine are buried away somewhere Who cares?
Load More Replies... Ruth Watry 10 months ago
When there was large gap between ceremony and reception (my cousin), uncle invited relatives to his house (he was with the wedding party, so his brother took over) and there was a keg, a small bar, and snacks
AlithenewMC 10 months ago
We did ours before everyone showed up, specifically because I'd been to too many wedding where they were done between the ceremony and reception and it took far too long. Most of them were so long, we were expected to go to the bride or groom's parents' house for lunch, or go home to change. One wasn't like that though- we were expected to hang out at the venue with no chairs or drinks, and very little food for 3 hours.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
I much prefer candid photos. My mom is all about smiling and staring right the camera no matter what position she's in or what she's doing. Every picture has to be so perfect. If not she makes everyone pose again, smile, no blinking until she's satisfied. I'd rather just take a picture of a moment, in that one moment, flaws and all.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
"Moment" photos are so amazing to look back on, as you can usually literally remember how you felt in that moment (or at least an analogue.) Here's a pic that caught me trying to pose with Stilgar at the farm he was born on. I'd met him (and chosen him) when he was 10 days old and wasn't sure he'd remember my scent. I grin every time I look at this picture! So much better than me standing there smiling awkwardly at the camera XD yep_this_o...456a27.jpg 
The Other Guest 10 months ago
One wedding I went to, all the guests sat in the reception room without so much as a glass of water for TWO HOURS while the bride & groom were being photographed. The guy I went with was about to walk out & buy a burger.
Paul Jayne 10 months ago
This! On a very hot day us guests had to wait outside the reception venue for nearly two hours waiting for the couple to have their pics done. No drinks, no canapes.
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Lara Verne 10 months ago
My aunt has great wedding photos. Half of people blinking, kids yawning, or looking goofy af.
#11
Getting married in the middle of nowhere without any recommendations for either travel to venue or local hotels. Not all of us can spend willy billy on cabs and hotel rooms
Sophia Pandia de Delphia 10 months ago
Places where wheelchairs cannot go for the service itself. And don't think about picking me up and carrying me. I don't know any of you well enough!
#12
Expecting you to leave your small children at home and travel to a distant location to pay a whopping cost to stay overnight just to see you say I do.
Aidan Pite 10 months ago
Childfree is fine as long as it's local and everyone's going home after the party. If parents have to get a hotel room to be there, that's when the happy couple need to look into hiring professional childminders at a nearby location where parents can easily check in.
Alexandra 10 months ago
It's your wedding, it's your day. Childfree? Ok. Destination? Ok. Your choice. You should be aware though that every choice has its consequences. There are people who might not want to leave their kids at home or who don't have the money to travel. If so, you just have to accept if they decline your invitation. It's an invitation, not a summons. So don't start telling people they can do this or that to still attend your wedding or be mad about it if they can't make it. Extend some grace to each other.
CaliPanda 10 months ago
When I was very little, maybe 4-5? years old, I remember going to a wedding ceremony and then I and others my age were handed off to a nanny to play in fantastic room full of toys and crafts. For a kid, it was great. I don’t know why more people don’t do this.
K Barnes 10 months ago
I agree, this is a great idea if the venue has a space that works for it! Like paying for a safe ride home, paying for your guests' convenient childcare is a great thing to offer at your wedding. Some kids might want to hit the dance floor but many would love a kids room.
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#13
No quiet areas. Only having music so loud you can’t have a conversation
Karen Bryan 10 months ago
The best wedding dinner music I've ever experienced: One very talented pianist, playing classic love songs. Spare me from DJs!
#14
when speeches drag on and contain really specific references that are not known or relevant to 95% of the party, cool you got a laugh from your old college buddy..but the rest of us are like "Huh?"
Sarah 10 months ago
Hate to say it but the ones where one side of family speaks a different language … every speech has to be translated.. skeletons were found in their seats by end of it.. over 2 hours
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
The family members who don't speak the language you understand aren't doing it to spite you or the other guests who don't speak their language. However, it would have probably been a better idea to have the guests who did not speak the "main" language have a pre-written speech that they needed to stick to, and then it could have been translated beforehand and the translations handed out to the other guests to read (or projected onto a wall or screen or something.)
Load More Replies... Featherytoad 10 months ago
One of my husband's groomsmen quotes something from Monty Python that neither I, nor I'm sure, most people didn't get.
#15
Requesting money for honeymoon. Just seems tacky to me. You can either afford a trip or not.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
My dad paid for my brother's and his wife's honeymoon... at the same location our parents honeymooned. My bro and his wife were cringed out and were very ungrateful. But it's like, it's a paid for honeymoon and it's not like our parents are going to be going along with them, or that there's going to be weird bedroom photos of them sitting around the resort.
Kitty Smith 10 months ago
Your brother and SIL sound like such delights./s
Load More Replies... Mason Kronol 10 months ago
Me too. When one of my husband’s buddies and his gf got married they had been together for a long time. Married because her mom was moving in with them in a bigger house she was partially paying for when her health declined. So it was more for legal reasons. We knew it was a rough time and they already had enough household stuff so we gave them a few hundred cash so they had some fun money on their honeymoon. (They had a tiny but beautiful ceremony in a park)
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Lazy Panda 2 10 months ago
If you're marrying later in life, chances are you have everything you need to live together. So under those circumstances I don't mind making a contribution to the wedding celebration or honeymoon. Did it for a friend, neither of them had much money, they just wanted to bring folks together. Everyone chipped in something - helping make the dress, supply a food item for the buffet, decorations for the village hall etc. Honestly one of the best weddings I've been to, as we all felt we were helping make their day special.
April Pickett 10 months ago
It may be tacky, but it's an honest ask. These days, most couples already have the house furnished and don't need much. You could also ask them to donate to their favorite charity
Michael Largey 10 months ago (edited)
These days, most couples can't even afford the house.
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Catlady6000 10 months ago
I'd rather simplify the wedding and pay for my own honeymoon, rather than hope I get enough thru gifts. Most I would do is "If it's easier, cash is always welcome" on the invite
Petra Schaap 10 months ago
asking money on your wedding is totally normal where i come from and where i live now.
rullyman 10 months ago
I married a Japanese man. Money is the standard wedding gift in Japan, and it's the equivalent of about £300 each guest, so our guests got off lightly really! They gave on average £30 which was very gratefully received and helped get us to Thailand
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K Barnes 10 months ago
I don't see how this is any more tacky than asking for a coffee maker or toaster if you already have a home with the necessities. If someone is providing a gift for a couple starting their lives together it should be a gift they will appreciate and value. To me, memories from a vacation are more valuable than random unnecessary junk for the house.
#16
Wedding favours. Such a waste of money. We did chocolate coins no waste but I’d almost avoid it entirely. 99% of the time they get left behind or in the bin. Keep the money or donate to charity.
StrangeOne 10 months ago
I remember when it was a trend to have beta fish in vases, and the idea was to give the fish to the guests as a wedding favour. Like everyone wants fish to take care of because they went to a wedding.
K Barnes 10 months ago
2-12 year old me loved them!! I had totally forgotten they exist until today!
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Louise Clarke 10 months ago
My brother had milkweed seeds in biodegradable paper. So people could plant them. The wedding had a monarch butterfly theme.
quentariel 10 months ago
I like them, but not having one is totally ok too. And I'm glad that the wedding favor culture have been developing into more creative direction. My favourites have been flower seeds, self-made tea mix and self-made soaps. Nothing expensive. (Every wedding I've ever been has been rather small budget with less than 50 guests, so making favors for smaller amount of people is easier).
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 10 months ago (edited)
I have a nice set of chopsticks that are my favourite wedding favour. And when I use them with guests I can say, "Oh these were from Hailings wedding". Best case scenario for a gift. My second favourite is a deck of cards I still use
Load More Replies... AlithenewMC 10 months ago
We did cupcakes- not wedding cake, just cupcakes that people could take at any point through the night. We had gelato for our late night bar, so most people didn't have a cupcake until they were leaving anyway.
K Barnes 10 months ago
We have a little terrarium/bowl of low-maintenance plants that was a wedding favour and that I somehow haven't killed with my black thumb. Makes me think of the couple and smile so often when I see it. That is literally the only wedding favour I can actually remember or still have.
Jill Allen 10 months ago
My cousin gave mini bottles of Jack Daniel's as a favor. Very well received lol
Crystal Taggart 10 months ago
I bought antique cocktail glasses on eBay. They were on display and people could choose their wedding favor (matching or not - up to them.) Each glass cost me less than $5 AND we got to keep the extras. I haven't seen a better wedding favor to date!
Panda Kicki 10 months ago
This list is hilarious. I was at a ex friend's wedding that did almost every post.
#17
Probably talking about nothing but their wedding for months and months and months beforehand.
Sarah 10 months ago
What I’ve seen from Experience- complete lethargy afterwards.. nothing now to focus on
K Barnes 10 months ago
The worst is when those couples decide to have a baby to re-excite the energy and relationship RATHER THAN because they're ready and want to start the family. (Not if they're ready, of course! Just if they're not!)
Load More Replies... Not-a-Clue (she/her) 10 months ago
I had university exams on the Friday before we got married the following Monday, so I definitely wasn't talking non-stop about the wedding. You might have been bored about me banging on about psychology, though 😂
#18
No heating. Don’t ask me to dress up in strappy shoes and a little dress so I can freeze for the whole day
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Or vice versa, having the wedding outdoors in the middle of summer when it's known to get super hot, and not allowing anyone inside because you're afraid to get your floors dirty and people will see your bathroom. Get a grip, or plan your wedding at a venue with both indoor and outdoor areas, where guests can cool off when they need to.
Pittsburgh rare 10 months ago
I'd rather be cold than sweat like a cross fitter and having my make up drip from my face. Been there, suffered that
#19
I don't care what happens as long as I am not hungry or cold. I would say don't waste your money. I don't need sugared almonds as a favour etc
#20
My friend had a two hour drinks reception with very limited canapés and everyone just wanted to go home before the night even began because they were so bored and hungry
Ashtophet’sRevenge 10 months ago
This is fine as long as you are upfront with the guests in advance… so they can hit a drive through on the way, or after…
Just Me & My Pups 10 months ago
As an event coordinator, I realllĺy emphasize to couples to have either a short cocktail time if you're not having appetizers or spring some some appetizers for your guests if you think you'll be taking pictures for two hours. Two couples didn't take my suggestion....and both of them had guests eating thr desserts before the couple even arrived to the party.
#21
Christmas weddings
Lyoness 10 months ago
Any holiday wedding IMHO. People want to celebrate that holiday, not you.
Daniel Atkins 10 months ago
Depends my cousin dit it the day after Thanksgiving because it is the only holiday where the whole family is together. So it saved an extra trip.
Hides 10 months ago
It's not so much the family that's impacted because they would likely be together for the holidays. It's the other guests, friends, colleagues who would most likely have to cut their holiday plans short with their families to be at a wedding.
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geezeronthehill 10 months ago
We married on her birthday, so I would be able to remember our anniversary. (It worked.)
Binky Melnik 10 months ago
Ooops; I was married on the Fourth of July. It was my favorite holiday back when I was young, dumb, and a Republican hawk. I know, I know; I’m cringing right along with you. The stupidest part is that 60% of my wedding attendees were from Shanghai (my husband was Chinese), so that day didn’t matter to them. (Before you gag, my wedding was NOT themed, so no red/white/blue gown or flag party favors!)
#22
Expensive Hotel weddings where the rooms get a 'discount'- it's still out my budget, there's no alternatives anywhere close and it's too far from home so we HAVE to stay there
Karen Bryan 10 months ago
When my niece got married in Vegas, the bride and groom paid for all our hotel rooms. The wedding itself took maybe half an hour. Then we all went to an old-fashioned Vegas show (tickets paid too). It was great.
#23
It’s not the couples chance to pretend they are rich and important. No one likes their friends that much to put up with that. Invite people you love and family, give them a good meal and speeches.
Sarah 10 months ago
A short speech is a good speech. A bride whose wedding I attended , her father had passed. Her uncle gave her away.. before dinner he said, I’m Not a man of many words, we appreciate you being here and let’s toast my niece and her hisband ( words to that effect) best speech ever. 2 mins and it was heartfelt and genuine and no stupid jokes
#24
Singing servers & saxophone players
Panda McPandaface 10 months ago
It is but it also sounds like agony to endure.
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#25
Evening only invitations! If I’m not good enough to go to the actual wedding, they’re not good enough to get my time!
Puck 10 months ago
That's rather common where i come from. An intimate ceremony with a small group of close family and friends (City hall is not that big), sometimes a reception for acquaintances like colleagues, then a party for a bigger group of family and friends.
chris Cannon 10 months ago
If you're getting married at City Hall (and there's something to be said for small and discreet), do you really want a celebration?
Load More Replies... Becca not Becky 10 months ago
This is a great compromise when the venue/church/etc. has limited seating, or if the ceremony is child-free. Sometimes an intimate ceremony with a big party afterwards is the way to go
IamMe 10 months ago
My brother did this, he said that they were going to get married at City Hall. That makes sense, right? Well, it did until about 4 months later, when we found out that they weren't married, at all. They had a large reception, with all the bells and whistles. The wedding dress, the cake, the speeches, and invited their extended family and friends, who brought gifts. But, as I said, they were not married. That was ten years ago, and to this day she's still married to her oldest sons father. I don't know why they lied. Her side of the family, knew the whole time and went along with it. Our side, is full of people that just live together for years. My own parents had two kids before they got married. There was no need to keep up appearances, or anything. It's just weird.
LilDumpling 10 months ago
So years ago a colleague invited us to his wedding and reception. It was a very very catholic wedding and I'd never been to one before. Everyone at work told me they were going to the reception but not the wedding and I couldn't figure out why... until i was at the wedding. Up until that time, i never knew a wedding could last two hours and that a priest would physically "lasso" the couple together as part of the ceremony. And now I totally understand why some couples only send out reception-only invites.
#26
Dinner too long, first dance is ridiculous, bachelorette costs too much
Mason Kronol 10 months ago
Yeah that was odd. Everyone likes that. If they don’t they just have no heart.
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#27
Booking the wedding at an expensive venue then having drinks stashed in their rooms while guests pay over the odds at the bar - very tacky
#28
Have an early wedding with lunch straight after and then they disappear for hours leaving the guests bored and hungry and so bored. Start later and make the party flow without gaps
Mason Kronol 10 months ago
Most invitations state the times of the ceremony and the reception. Easy to tell the time gap between the two. Most weddings I have been to have them in two different locations with pics in between so we always met up with others at a pub for a snack. One time we were close enough to run home, feed the special diet cats, water flowers on a friends grave, grab a snack and head out to the reception. Time management. If you hate weddings so much and are bored and hungry please stay home!
Rachel Pelz 10 months ago
Some couples have pictures taking during these "hours"...and communicate that break beforehand and even suggest some activities ( like walk etc).
#29
being stuck at the remote venue till the first midnight coach arrives to take you back to the hotel. taxis were too expensive to order.
#30
Stop trying to please everyone it’s their wedding day they can do what they want to with their money, everyone else should just zip it or not go if they want to give an opinion
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Unless the couple is rich or planning a very low-key wedding they can afford on their own, there's definitely others footing the bill.
Niamh_ie 10 months ago
I disagree, the couple could have been saving or they could have their own money. I'm not rich by any means but our wedding was paid by ourselves with savings and a small loan.
Load More Replies... #31
Invite work friends, doesn’t have to be a full day or +1, but it’s hurtful when you think of them as friends but don’t get an invite after sometimes years of listening to the plans!
Lyoness 10 months ago
Or excluding someone when an entire group or department is invited. This happened to me once and I didn't even know it because everyone had decided it was better not to tell me. I knew the person was getting married that spring but they were never specific about the date. I only found out I wasn't invited because one of the other managers stopped by my office to tell me to keep an eye on things. I must have looked confused because she said I was the only manager not going to (names) wedding. It floored me because these were people I hung around with all the time. It still hurts.
Mason Kronol 10 months ago
I never expect an invitation from “work friends”. We only invited a few people from work. My husband and I worked together. And only a couple people from work showed up and it was no big deal. You can’t invite everyone you are friendly with.
Sophia Pandia de Delphia 10 months ago
I joined a new university in 2019. We were all married in my department but they all had kids getting married (childless and it feels so good!). I was sent invites from 2 of their kids in my 1st year. I'm just now figuring out who even has kids. Then covid hit. Then I got announcements with a registry link by kids I've never met. The worst was being laid off and one's kid, that I never met, invites me. Really? Gimme, it's covid. Then you had savings in the event you're laid off, gimme. And one even got my name wrong!
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#32
Having a dancefloor too big vs the size of the group. Makes the whole thing feel sparse and not as fun.
Michael Largey 10 months ago
Or playing music for only one age group so others never get to dance.
Featherytoad 10 months ago
Yeah, we had a mix of classic rock, the big band era and whatever some of the newer stuff was back in 1999.
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#33
Dinner too late, lots of forced group photos of alllll guests (I get it for family!) speeches that drag on if they’re not good
#35
The bride recording her voice for the groom before walking down the aisle it's such an ick!!
#36
Giving out cheap drinks for the wedding breakfast and having their own bottle of champagne on the top table
#37
Those fake dances where someone falls
#38
Inviting people to the ceremony. That’s the boring bit. Just invite people to the reception.
Michael Largey 10 months ago
I gone to some weddings just to watch the "If anyone objects" part.
#39
Wedding gift lists or requesting money for their honeymoon
April Pickett 10 months ago
The wedding register is traditional. Requesting money is new, but these are changing times, and changing attitudes.
Aidan Pite 10 months ago
I believe the registry was originally to furnish a new couple's new home, since they would be newly moving in together fresh out of their parents' places. Nowadays with couples often moving in and furnishing a home together long before marriage... no, Aunt Martha, I don't need a brand-new $500 set of cookware. But if you could give me a fraction of that so I could have a spa day/fancy romantic meal one night/extra day of beach vacation with my new spouse instead, that would be smashing.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 10 months ago
Nothing wrong with a registry but to ask people to pay for their honeymoon is just tacky.
Rachel Pelz 10 months ago
If you put it nicely, asking for honeymoon money can be OK imo. Like, " we have everything we need, we're looking forward to celebrating with all our guest. If you feel liking gifting us something, we are grateful for any contribution to our honeymoon account".
Load More Replies... Little Bit 10 months ago
What I hate is when couples spend tens of thousands on an extravagant wedding so they can get those all important Facebook likes, and then demand money instead of a gift because they are saving for a deposit on a house. No. Have a simple low cost wedding and put the money you would have spent towards your house deposit. I don't object to giving money instead of a gift per se but I never know how much to give. Some people have high expectations. I don't want to make myself look stingy or mean but at the same time I don't want to give more than I can realistically afford.
#40
Round tables. You can only talk to people either side of you
Theodore Venable 10 months ago
As an event producer— this is incorrect. Round tables allow for more engagement between all guests. Centerpieces should not obstruct views though. No arrangements taller than a toaster is a good rule of thumb.
Aidan Pite 10 months ago
And no centerpieces that involve living creatures! (betta fish do NOT live in vases, and should NOT be given as party favours!)
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Dave Morris 10 months ago
Eh? Round table means you can talk to people. Or have you just worded this post badly.
Mason Kronol 10 months ago
Sometimes not even that far. I find round tables much easier than rectangular. I don’t know why anyone is downvoting you. Unless they hate talking to people at weddings.
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What do you think ?
SaraCapybara 10 months ago
Specific color requests for guest attire. No, I am not going to buy a lemon yellow dress to fit your theme, Cousin Susan.
marianne eliza 10 months ago
If the person you're engaged to cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run far. Run fast.
CaliPanda 10 months ago
Inadequate bar staff for the number of guests. I attended a cousin’s wedding and there were probably 250 guests and only two bartenders. And my other cousins and I were at the farthest table, in the corner. Bless them, two of my cousins at my table exited the door right next to our table, hit the local liquor store on the next block and provisioned us up with a disposable cooler, ice, vodka, rum and mixers. Assuredly not cool with the venue but we weren’t going to wait 30 minutes for one drink.
Gene Perry 10 months ago
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday weddings! Who can take off work for a whole day in the middle of the week?
paddingtonvg 10 months ago
I also think Fridays should be included and Sunday night weddings. What I have to be at your reception until midnight and then get up and be at work the next morning!!!
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Chris the Bobcat 10 months ago
Everyone coming to the wedding and it gets called off ten minutes before because the groom was banging one of the bridesmaids in the men's room. The police getting called because the fathers of the bride and said groom beat the snot out of each other. Then having to drive three hours home because it's too depressing to stay in the hotel and there isn't a t!tty bar around to help forget about the entire affair.
Petra Schaap 10 months ago
forcing everyone who's just quietly chilling outside, in because the best man is going to do a funny act that no one expect close friends understand.
SaraCapybara 10 months ago
Specific color requests for guest attire. No, I am not going to buy a lemon yellow dress to fit your theme, Cousin Susan.
marianne eliza 10 months ago
If the person you're engaged to cares more about the wedding than the marriage, run. Run far. Run fast.
CaliPanda 10 months ago
Inadequate bar staff for the number of guests. I attended a cousin’s wedding and there were probably 250 guests and only two bartenders. And my other cousins and I were at the farthest table, in the corner. Bless them, two of my cousins at my table exited the door right next to our table, hit the local liquor store on the next block and provisioned us up with a disposable cooler, ice, vodka, rum and mixers. Assuredly not cool with the venue but we weren’t going to wait 30 minutes for one drink.
Gene Perry 10 months ago
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday weddings! Who can take off work for a whole day in the middle of the week?
paddingtonvg 10 months ago
I also think Fridays should be included and Sunday night weddings. What I have to be at your reception until midnight and then get up and be at work the next morning!!!
Load More Replies... Chris the Bobcat 10 months ago
Everyone coming to the wedding and it gets called off ten minutes before because the groom was banging one of the bridesmaids in the men's room. The police getting called because the fathers of the bride and said groom beat the snot out of each other. Then having to drive three hours home because it's too depressing to stay in the hotel and there isn't a t!tty bar around to help forget about the entire affair.
Petra Schaap 10 months ago
forcing everyone who's just quietly chilling outside, in because the best man is going to do a funny act that no one expect close friends understand.
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