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“What Did Your Therapist Tell You That Flipped The Switch In Your Brain For The Better?” (35 Answers)
Shrinks aren’t for everyone, but for a lot of people who struggle in life, they can be an absolute godsend. After all, sometimes speaking to someone who’s been trained on how the human mind works can deliver powerfully helpful insights.
Someone asked the internet, “What did your therapist tell you that flipped the switch in your brain for the better?” and netizens were only too happy to respond with their breakthrough moments. Here’s a collection of our favorites.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Honestly the most therapeutic thing a therapist has ever done is just widen her eyes in horror. It's so validating to realize that yes, in fact, that thing that happened WAS really messed up and I'm not the crazy one.
Shannon Donnelly 9 months ago
It’s really weird when your therapist drops a bomb on you like that. Especially if it was something you truly had no clue was abnormal. Started seeing a counselor in college after being diagnosed bipolar II at 19. We were talking about anxiety and I told him I had my first panic attack at 4. He asked how often I had them and I said usually a couple a day. He asked how long this had been going on and I said, “Since I was 4, but most of the time I’m just anxious, not that big of a deal.” He stared at me for a moment, and asked me when was the last time I hadn’t felt anxious, like anxiety attack level, but not full-blown panic attack. I didn’t understand his question. When would I not feel anxious?? “What? When do people NOT feel anxious??” I said. I truly thought everyone felt the way I did all the time and just learned really early on to hide it, because it’s what I thought everyone else did to deal with it. I thought his eyes were going to roll out of his head as I tried to wrap my brain around this entirely foreign concept. My therapist and I had managed to break each other’s brains at the exact same moment (temporarily at least). lol
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#2
I needed to leave my husband. I raise goats. She said “do you ever just go out there and beat the c**p out of one of your goats, hoping it will turn into a sheep……?
He’s always going to be a goat.”.
#3
"That voice in your head isn't you. It's a voice you have heard. You have grown up with. You have learned. The best thing about learning is that it is never finished; you can learn a new voice."
I'm still ages away from replacing the voice but it has made many scenarios much easier to manage.
Psychology has come a long way from the days of the first philosophers pondering the human mind over a glass of wine. These days it's a full-blown science with countless branches, techniques, and therapists ready to help you figure out why you overanalyze text messages at 2 AM. But how did we get here, and more importantly, how do you find the perfect psychologist to guide you on your mental health journey?
Way before psychology became the science we know today, ancient thinkers like Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle were already debating what makes us humans tick. Fast forward a few centuries, and René Descartes introduced dualism—the idea that the mind and body are separate but work together. This was basically the earliest version of “it’s complicated.”
#4
Had a breakthrough revelation. Expected everything to change. It didn't. She then explained to me that change doesn't come from merely understanding what your issues are but from doing the hard work to undo those ingrained behaviors.
Oh. Damn.
Karl der Große 9 months ago
REBT has very little exploration of the past, but helps you to evaluate your thinking errors and find ways to shut them down. It was unappealing to me when I first heard about it (I love dwelling on the past), but it is very effective.
#5
Quit invalidating your feelings just because you think others have it harder than you. It’s not a competition.
Shannon Donnelly 9 months ago
This includes pain!! I suffer from a few chronic pain disorders, and too often when people tell me about their pain/health issues, they feel the need to try to minimize their pain. I know they do this because they’re trying to be respectful and to validate my issues, but I stop them every time. Don’t you NOT tell me you have a terrible headache because you know I have chronic migraines!! First, I’m going to understand better than most how terrible your headache is. Second, it’s not a contest! I don’t win because I might be in more pain than you are. And even if I am, does that mean you AREN’T suffering?? Whether I have a migraine or not, you still have a terrible headache and are in pain, and you have every right to talk about and complain about it and hate it. Pain sufferers need to support each other, not try to out-do each other.
#6
You have to forgive your past self for the decisions you made in order to survive the situation you were in.
Kelly H. Wilder 9 months ago
This is huge. And like so much else in healing/recovery, it's not one-and-done nor is it linear. It's cyclical. Healing is hard.
The 19th century was when psychology officially became a thing. Wilhelm Wundt, the OG psychologist, set up the first lab dedicated to studying human thoughts and behaviors in 1879. His idea? That our minds could be broken down into tiny, measurable components—a concept called structuralism.
But then along came William James, who was more interested in how our thoughts help us survive, leading to functionalism. And thus commenced the battle between “what is the mind made of?” vs. “what can the mind do?”
#7
When I was thinking of staying with my now ex "is he acknowledging his role in the fight or is he just forgiving you?" I had never thought to ask - turns out he believed he was totally blameless and was just forgiving me. That question ended the relationship.
#8
That yes I was surrounded by a***holes and it wasn't that I was one.
It was that simple. Suddenly it clicked that I didn't "deserve what I got".
Then there was the other one when I said I sometimes wished my kids had a bigger family and maybe I should get in contact. She asked me a simple question:
What makes you think they won't treat your kids the same way they treated you? You were a kid too when they did it to you.
Solidified my no contact.
roddy 9 months ago
People are frequently nicer to their grandchildren than they were to their own children. It can give their children very mixed feelings to witness the love and affection they never had growing up showered on their children. The people who screamed at you and beat you are now mellow and indulgent. They have either forgotten or in denial of the past. But if you are in doubt, better not to allow them close.
#9
Though I’ve been to therapy, this one is something I read online randomly;
*Just because things could have been different, doesn’t mean it would have been better.*
I basically took it as stop fretting about what you should have done differently or how people treated you. You could have done it completely differently, the way you wish you did and something negative could have still happened. What happened happened, you can’t live in the past. All you can do is move forward.
MotherofGuineaPigs 9 months ago
It was s**t. It shouldn't have happened that way. They left me alone to deal with it. I met the love of my life and now know what unconditional love is.
As time went on, psychology split into different schools of thought, each with its own way of explaining human behavior. Sigmund Freud shook things up with psychoanalysis, while John B. Watson and B.F. Skinner championed behaviorism, and Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow brought about humanistic psychology.
By the mid-20th century, psychology shifted toward understanding thoughts, memory, and perception. Cognitive psychology laid the foundation for modern research into everything from AI to how we make decisions. With advances in technology, psychologists now study the brain in crazy detail, linking biology to behavior. This has been a welcome game-changer in treating mental health disorders.
#10
“Happy people don’t pee in other people’s cheerios.” It helped me look at criticism differently. More productively.
#11
It's not your job to manage other people's feelings and happiness.
Fill your cup first.
Don't tear yourself down to build others up. Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
#12
I was lamenting my various issues, and in frustration stated that I hated my stupid brain. Without even hesitating, she just said, "Oh, your poor brain! It's doing its best!"
It was probably just something she was saying to try and talk me down from my theatrics, but it really made me aware of my negative internal monologue. Like yeah, my brain IS doing its best! It's just kinda bad at being a brain. But she's trying her best!!
So, now that psychology has evolved into this massive, nuanced field, how do you find a psychologist that fits your vibe? Before you start Googling therapists, ask yourself: What’s bothering you? Anxiety? Depression? Relationships? Trauma? Stress? Knowing your needs helps narrow down the search.
It’s also a good idea to know your therapy styles. Some of the most popular include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, humanistic therapy, and mindfulness-based therapy. Your ideal therapist also needs to fit into your life, so give some thought to their location, availability and cost.
#13
You need to protect your family at all costs even if it means not talking to some of your other family members. I’ve been estranged from my narcissistic mom for 2 years now and it’s been amazing.
Also important to know that just because you don’t have kids that doesn’t mean your husband and dog isn’t your little family. Realize who is in your family bubble and protect them at all costs. .
#14
“Be the mirror, not the sponge.”
When someone shares their anxiety/stress with you, it’s not your job nor does it make you a good person to immediately feel those things too.
Show them empathy, but try not to absorb.
It wasn’t easy at first but eventually I was able to do it!!
#15
Feeling your feelings doesn't involve processing them with logic or tell yourself a story about why they're happening, it's listening to your body, realizing what muscles hurt, what feels tight, fluttery, nauseous, hot, cold, or whatever else. It's noticing the burning feeling in your eyes, the lump in your throat, or feeling so light you could float away.
Many therapists offer an initial consultation. This is your chance to see if you vibe with them. Do they listen? Do you feel comfortable opening up? If not, keep looking—it’s totally okay to switch therapists if it’s not a good fit. The most important part of therapy is feeling safe, heard, and understood.
What do you think about this list of breakthroughs people had with the help of their therapist? Upvote the ones that resonate with you most and don’t forget to leave a comment if your therapist has helped you find a fresh perspective on life!
#16
"You don't have to earn your place in this world. You can simply exist for yourself and do what makes you happy."
That rocked my s**t. As a severely parentified kid with self-worth issues, I still struggle with not feeling worthy of many things if I'm not being useful.
MsPlants 9 months ago
F**k me this right here. I never thought of it like this, between both of my parents and how they raised me to be self sufficient because they werent going to do it but also I better raise all 5 of my younger siblings. then going immediately into a serious relationship my senior year of high school that quickly lead to 17 years of marriage and then him cheating and divorcing me. after the divorce I realized that my ex treated me the same as my parents, never positive words, only what I was doing wrong, no matter how hard I worked or the fact that he never helped around the house so I cleaned it all, and so much more he would say I was lazy, tell others I didnt contribute. Anytime I take a nap or sleep in or spend the day reading or doing nothing I feel lazy and embarrassed, like I have to justify why im doing that. why I like what I like, I am always explaining myself to justify anything im doing. And now I realize its this. I feel like I cant just exist, its not good enough
#17
When putting up boundaries, “They’ll be mad at first. Then they’ll get over it. They don’t have any other option.”.
#18
I had a lot of fear of authority figures and so I avoided talking to admin at my medical school about any issues I was having. We traced it back to an experience I had with gun violence from an authority figure.
He said, “well, Dr. Neil doesn’t have a gun”.
It seems really silly but that mantra really helped me. Whenever I’d talk to my dean, I would think to myself “Dr. Neil doesn’t have a gun” and it would help me reassure myself that I was safe in that situation. I use that mantra for a lot of people now.
Phred 9 months ago
Believe it or not, the best authority figures WANT you to succeed, and will go to extraordinary lengths to help you. I work in a teaching hospital and I'm thrilled when someone I have helped goes on to a brilliant career. It's not all my doing, of course, but I did what I could when they needed it.
#20
“Do you want to get married and have children or is society telling you to get married and have children?”.
#21
Your brain may not be telling you that you are worthless, but your behaviors and your choices are not those of a person who has good self-worth.
Susie Elle 9 months ago
For me it's the opposite: my brain is telling me I'm worthless and I'm trying every day to behave like I'm not, but man is that an uphill jog.
#23
Stressful situation.
1.) Is it something I can control?
2.) If not, don’t stress too much over it.
3.) If yes, what is within my ability? What can I do about it to make it better?
Karl der Große 9 months ago
Plus, if you stop stressing over difficult situations, it frees up time to ruminate about past mistakes.
#24
Allowing yourself to feel doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.
#25
That my emotions are data and I should stop ignoring them.
#26
Why is it your job to fix everyone?
Why are you always at fault or think you are?
Why can't you give yourself grace?
#27
That you can decide that being 80 or 90 percent sure you’re making the right decision can be enough. It’s never usually going to be 100%, so aim for 80 or 90.
Also that I could potentially equally regret having another kid as much as not having one. I was so stuck in the fear of regretting not having more that I never considered the equal opposite could be true. Now happily one and done and feeling very confident in that choice.
trixiefly11 9 months ago
I had someone ask me when I first told them I was pregnant with my 3rd child, why I wanted another when I had a perfect family of a boy and a girl. I told them that I knew it was possible I would regret having another, it's always possible. But I knew I would regret not having them.
#28
If I’m having really negative thoughts, or dwelling on something bad, “don’t think about the pink gorilla.”
If you specifically tell yourself don’t think about something, that’s all you’re gonna think about right? Well if I tell myself not to think about something completely random/silly, now I’m gonna think about that instead.
Also, it’s ok to tell people you’re overwhelmed and need a break.
#29
"Tell whatever is making you anxious in the moment that you see it and acknowledge it, but it's done taking up space."
"You don't owe anyone anything.".
#30
If you ever feel like home with a person, when your home was never healthy, you need to reevaluate why you are with them.
#31
Did you know we have value the moment we are born…. I did not and it shook me to find I have worth.
#32
He told me about the Drama Triangle, and that the Rescuer role exists.
Oh.
Ohhhhh boy.
Time to change everything about the way I do relationships.
#33
Me: talking about my crippling anxiety
My Dr: As I’m listening to what you’re saying, and as I’m watching you go crazy on that fidget spinner.. I’m wondering if anyone has suggested you might have ADHD?
#34
As someone who is highly anxious and always has to be doing something, I never give myself time to recharge the batteries. I just pause, plug in and charge until I have 50% or slightly more, and keep going. Then repeat.
"You know that's self harm, right?"
My current issue is... I haven't stopped this behavior. Acknowledging and understanding it is the first step but I've really got to work on stopping the cycle.
#35
"No positive change comes from a harsh place of judgement."
Still working on that when it comes to myself, but it's helped my parenting immensely.
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What do you think ?
Gingersnap In Iowa 9 months ago
One time I said; God never gives you more than you can handle. My therapist said; B******t!
marianne eliza 9 months ago
One therapist I had for a short time said all my problems would be solved if I cut out refined sugars, anything alcohol, and carried amethyst. Changed my mind for the better cause I realized he needed therapy more than I did.
Victoria 9 months ago
Well ... I cut down on sugar because I'm prediabetic, got sober cause I had to to save myself from an early death, and wear an Amethyst Pendant because Amethyst is a stone for recovering Alkies: as Amethyst is Greek for 'Not Drunk!!! So I'm 3/3 !!
Load More Replies... Gingersnap In Iowa 9 months ago
One time I said; God never gives you more than you can handle. My therapist said; B******t!
marianne eliza 9 months ago
One therapist I had for a short time said all my problems would be solved if I cut out refined sugars, anything alcohol, and carried amethyst. Changed my mind for the better cause I realized he needed therapy more than I did.
Victoria 9 months ago
Well ... I cut down on sugar because I'm prediabetic, got sober cause I had to to save myself from an early death, and wear an Amethyst Pendant because Amethyst is a stone for recovering Alkies: as Amethyst is Greek for 'Not Drunk!!! So I'm 3/3 !!
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