“People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong” And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community
We all are different, there's nothing new about that. However, we try to make connections with those similar to us. Whether it be hobbies, values, or general perception of life, we tend to stick with those that have matching approaches.
On the other hand, we often meet people whose behavior clashes with ours. Thinking about that, I asked our pandas to share their biggest deal-breakers. Scroll down for the answers!
This post may include affiliate links.
Religion. Fine for you. Don't try to sell or convert me. I'm an adult, educated, older. A lot of people use it to separate, to misinform, excuse or convert. No thanks.
Religion and politics are two topics I don’t want to ever discuss with other people. Bc more often than not, those that don’t agree with you on either topics will either try to change your mind and join them or get nasty and rude just bc you don’t agree with them.
I think your religious and political beliefs are a big part of who you are, so I couldn’t be married to someone whose views were opposite.
Load More Replies...I'm a Christian. I would never try to force my faith on anyone. I used to work with about 8 wonderful Persian people. We would discuss our beliefs a lot. Mostly out of curiosity, but we where respectful of each other's faith.
This is how I feel about the republican party. If you don't believe in abortion or LBGTQ then refrain. But why do you feel compelled to try and pass laws to FORCE people to believe like you? I will never understand that.
I do not care if you believe in god or have your own spiritual belief but if you're a part of a religion I'm going to be really cautious around you.
If you don't care, why are you being cautious?
Load More Replies...Agree.... set boundaries with religious mates - make it clear you're not interested.... but for relationships - its just a no-go zone.... living together and potentially bringing up kids when you have fundamentally incompatible life outlooks and moral values just doesn't work.
I am married to a Muslim man who has never attempted to convert or change me. My best friend is a devout Christian who also doesn’t push her beliefs on me or attempt to change me. I think this is a huge stereotype that people need to somehow overcome because not all religious people try to push it on you.
Not all people. But then there are the televangelists on their gold thrones...
Load More Replies...For a relationship? If you're christian, you have to find someone from church. Not go to an atheist and try to convert him. Lol I once went to a dating site. It was paid, but you could get 2 weeks for free and it was especially for christians too, they said, cause they could match ppl very well. Okay. Lets try. I'm a christian. Looking for a christian. Has to love kids. Blablabla. LOL got one message back. Hi I'm an atheist and I have a dog. That was funny.
I agree totally. My parents are both Christian and love kids. It's working out very well for them. Peace
Load More Replies...I don't have a problem with religious people, as long as they're not d*cks about their faith.
I'm Christian but yeah people can be assholes. Also people are d*cks to us too though
Load More Replies...Believe what ever works or makes sense for you. However when some people start lecturing AT you their big egos are doing the talking and their minds are as waterproof as a frogs butt. People like that learn nothing new because they decided long ago that it's their way or the highway.
I am very religious the one thing that I don't do is discuss my views or rag on someone else's views . it could ruin friendships and possibly a marriage.
Selfishness, rudeness and not liking animals. That's my top 3.
Note: You are off the hook if you don't like animals because of an allergy or a bad experience. The first two are non-negotiable.
I'm selfish and rude, but I love animals. I've been working on the selfish thing for years and don't generally act on it. But my rudeness is still used on people that are rude to me first, it pretty swift and cutting and used in a way to make them reflect on their own rudeness.
Donkey boi… never heard anyone else say it that way. I told my bff this and he said I shouldn’t have to be a reflection, let the universe teach them. I disagree, the universe is not on the side of being fair. So..
Load More Replies...You can be allergic to animals and still like them. It’s just that their dander doesn’t like you.
U don't have to love animals in my book, but if you're selfish or rude then it's out into the trash
I draw the line at being selfish at the cost of others to the point of being cruel without need. Society is a bit fast with calling normal self care and having healthy boundaries selfish. So I'm not willing to condemn that label lightheartedly. I also don't think that other people are entitled to generosity in general. But there is a point were selfishness becomes destructive and unnecessarily so. Where people no longer really benefit from it but only are selfish to hurt others or take comforts away from them without any need. And that's where I draw the line. A person who'd rather throw stuff away that they don't want anymore than giving it to someone else. The moment they destroy stuff they don't care for without it doing any harm instead of just walking away and let it be. The moment they try everything to prevent others from having a decent life although being so well off they won't even feel a difference when getting more. That's what's ruining our society.
My best friend is deathly allergic to cats. She likes to hear all the silly things Bouche does anyway. She's Bouche's socially distant auntie.
I wouldn't hurt an animal but no- I don't like them. I'm a nice person tho, I swear
that really is an unpopular opinion! I agree! (although I am an animal lover myself)
Load More Replies...Not liking animals is okay. Hurting animals, or hurting people is not okay.
Deal breaker - they don't like my dog.
Bigger deal breaker - my dog doesn't like them.
My cat hates everyone but me ....sooo I live alone. ( though he was a stray who was horribly abused so he has reason to despise people... We're in agreement on that one..)
Load More Replies...There was a line, attributed to Mark Twain, "I never trust a man who doesn't like a dog, but I always trust a dog who doesn't like a man," or something to that effect.
Trust your pets more than humans. Humans can lie to you, pets cannot.
I'm an animal person - I've always had at least one pet since I was 5 years old. I love dogs, cats, hamsters, whatever, and they like me too. Except. One friend in high school had a dog that just hated me for no reason. Liked everyone else - hated me. I tried to love that dog - pats and treats and whatever I could think of. It just tried to bite me all the time. Nobody could understand it. I'm not evil. The dog was not a good judge of character.
Doesn’t work for everyone. My dog doesn’t like any men at all. She was rescued from a rough life and was mistreated, we’ve had her for four years now and she still doesn’t trust/like any men who visit the house.
Totally understand. I would love to hug your dog, but it wouldn't work. So glad she is happy now!
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People who are incapable of admitting they are wrong no matter how large or small.
A lot of dingbats come to mind: flat earthers, anti-vaxxers, COVID deniers, tRump chumps--
Playing devil's advocate here: What makes you think that you are not wrong Freya?
Load More Replies...It’s just so, so strange. If I get new data on a subject that negates my previous conception, I goddamned update my perception. Everybody is wrong sometimes, there’s no denying it away. I just don’t understand it.
You have a scientific mind. That is not as common as one would like.
Load More Replies...People who double down despite being obviously in the wrong is infuriating.
Sadly I feel like this website contains a lot of these people, and they believe their opinions to be factual and anyone who disagrees is wrong. Correct a wise man and he will thank you, correct a fool and he will hate you.
Hmm the trouble is unless you agree on a standard of truth and measurement to agree on, you cannot get any proof or support that you are in fact right. So before starting an argument with someone you need to set the criteria of truth. For example, suppose you say your husband was poesdronk at the party. He denies it emphatically. Is he incapable of admitting he is wrong? Not necessarily. You need to agree on the standard of truth. For example, eyewitness support where his friends also say he was poesdronk. OR, a photo of him lying on the floor with a date stamp and time stamp showing he was lying in his own puke. Etc. You need standards of evidence FIRST. With my wife I start by saying ok but that's not how I remember it, can I look at my diary and photos from that day? If she disagrees with letting me use that evidence then I won't back down on my position. If however the photos show she was right, cool. She was right.
I was married to one for 41 years. Don't think I ever heard him say "sorry" once.
You can't reason someone out of a belief that they didn't get reasoned into.
The inability to discuss or maturely debate. Most things people argue about and get angry over are subjective. You should be able to express your views and opinions without being shut down or criticized in a harsh, hateful manner.
To add on to that, people should just plain listen to one another, given the "speaker" is being respectful.
Yes! Thank you. sometimes I really need to get the what ifs or confusions out and it comes across as arguing. sigh. Sometimes I do get out of hand though in trying to make my point
"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not his own facts." Daniel Patrick Moynihan If everyone starts with the same facts a mature debate is possible
criticism is not a personal attack: you are not your opinions. If I criticise your personal opinions it does not instantly mean I am disrespectful. Any opinion which is unscientific is open for debate and criticism. Get over it and grow up.
Shouting someone down doesn’t mean you won the argument. It just means you’re a huge a*****e.
I don't have a problem agreeing to disagree. But when people use dirty tricks such as ad hominem attacks, non sequiturs, slippery slopes, etc., my respect goes AWOL.
I have a tendency to ask follow up questions when people have opinions, just to fill my own gaps in knowledge…and boy do people get defensive lol
My current boss is like this. He told us to express our opinion freely even if we don't understand well, but if it doesn't make sense for him, he make himself clear that he will come back at you harshly. There are lots of way to learn and teach people who are learning. But this guy chose the worst way. I hate him.
If your views involve saying that people deserve to starve, I will be as rude as I please, which means I’m on the shitlist of TWO people in this post. :)
Religion and politics are two topics I don’t want to ever discuss with other people. Bc more often than not, those that don’t agree with you on either topics will either try to change your mind and join them or get nasty and rude just bc you agree with them.
Running away from healthy debate on politics means that the divide between people can only ever increase. Everyone is affected by political decisions every day, and refusal to talk about it does nothing.
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1. Animal abuser
2. Not caring about other people's interests or life
3. They are racist, sexist, or ableist. Pretty much any kind of "ist".
4. Homophobes and transphobes also are no deal.
These types of people will never be my friends.
Who TF cares if there are misspellings in this post? Correcting people just for the sake of being right is a. red flag in the “no friend d zone”
Oddly enough you could say I'm number 4 but I'm not actually I just honestly don't give a flying F if you are homosexual or a transgender, like cool bro now that you told me don't keep reminding me every sentence.
Did auto correct get you, or do you really have a thing against there, their, they're and to, two, too?
This I don’t understand! I do believe in animal rights and that you can immediately see someone’s true colors by looking at the way they treat animals. But I would always hate racists or homophobes more than animal abusers. Maybe I’m wrong but I value human life a bit higher than animal life.
People who are unable to apologize or use the term "I apologize and am sorry".
The worst is when someone says, "I'm sorry if you feel....." If you said or did something wrong, apologize for your own actions. Don't apologize for how I feel.
Also, "I'm sorry if I hurt you" like no, there are no "ifs", you either apologise for real or you don't
Load More Replies...The hardest things to say are, “I was wrong,” “I’m sorry,” and “Worcestershire sauce.”
I have taught my son who is almost 20 (gasp!) to never say the word "But" after an apology. It totally negates the apology. I told him that if he has a problem with something someone did, then present that before the apology and give the person a chance to discuss the issue with you. Then he is to apologize for his behavior and direct it to the person not the event.
Whenever some says "I'm sorry , but ..", It's time to say "Get your sorry butt out of here."
Load More Replies...Hmm as an ASD person who can't read the room, I find that most humans are super-sensitive and think I'm rude but actually I just state facts. If you don't like facts then you need to ask yourself why they hurt you and that you now need apologies. It's very difficult with ASD to have to deal with humans who are offended by all these irrational things. Like if I tell you that believing your bread and wine has literally become jesus, sorry, that's just not true. Scientifically, it's not true. And in terms of the other 70% of the planet who are not christian, it's not true. So... don't start getting red in the face and huffy and puffy when I tell you it's just bread and wine?
If I may offer some life lessons I've learned over the last few years. Other people's feelings are their own problem to deal with. If someone is angry at you, it's not your job to make them feel better. Apologies are for the benefit of the speaker, not the listener. There are a few basic reasons to apologize for that I stick to that works for me. I only apologize if I was unreasonably selfish, self-centered, dishonest, or inconsiderate. Also, if I feel justified in my actions, then I'm not ready to apologize yet. Lastly, when speaking to others I try to remember the acronym THINK: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind. Often times even though something is true, it may not be helpful, necessary or kind to say, so it's better left unsaid.
Load More Replies...I have no problem with saying I'm sorry, but don't expect me to say it more than once. Some people drag up the same old subject over and over and expect an apology EVERY time. Nope.
My worst example was when some stupid dolt 'apologised' by saying " I've been told to apologise to you, and I am sorry. But I still don't believe what you did was right." OK, so NO apology at all! Why bother? What a total waste of time and energy and a phone call for such a pointless NON-apology! I severed all contact with that person at that point. Clearly any further interaction or conversation was utterly pointless.
I feel like this is more oftenly used as a joke now
Load More Replies...Hi! I'm Steve DiMatteo - I know this might sound nuts, but I took that I'm Sorry photo and I was wondering if you could credit my website in the credit: https://clevelandvintage.com/. Here is the link to my Unsplash profile as well where the picture is: https://unsplash.com/@stevedimatteo. Thanks!
Lying, especially incompetent bald-faced lying that would insult any person’s intelligence. My childhood was so full of self-righteous liars that it is a real trigger point for me.
aweome we'd be great cause I never lie (I can't find that pinnocio emoji . . .)
And Trump calls himself the most honest person on the planet. Maybe he meant Uranus?
Ooh - I know one of these! Lies right to your face without a single bit of remorse. Lies about everything all the time. It's exhausting to listen to. I think you might call it pathological lying? I think the person believes their own lies. It's hard going at times.
I am raising three kids who have been abused. A traumatized child's survival instinct -fight, flight, freeze, fib. They lie without thinking, when truth is easier and won't get them in trouble, and at first it makes you mad. And then you realize they are just reflexively using what kept them alive. You stop asking if they left their coat in the hall. They will say no, even though you can both see it laying on the floor. You just say hang your coat up. You have to think through everything you say and as much as possible, remove the opportunity for the lie.
Load More Replies...Honestly (ha) I lie too much. My husband has bad anxiety and is very tightly-wound (no excuse). I lie about how much things cost (ex. Electric bill), what kind of trouble the kids got into (ex. Didn’t mention my daughter’s suspension), that I didn’t notice he forgot to do something he said he would (raking the yard), etc. I try so hard to keep the kids happy and the husband from yelling. Good intentions, bad example.
Such as classic Roman Catholic lying about so many of the precepts of Jesus?
Not vaccinating.
Please don't downvote me, but I have decided not to get the covid vaccine; for now, most of my family has gotten in, and they got blood clots and felt terrible for days. Maybe in a year or two, I will earn I just don't know the risks
Perhaps you could consider the millions of people who have gotten the vaccine, and are perfectly healthy.
Load More Replies...So you really WANT to catch every known disease and maybe end up in an iron lung?
I think they meant their deal breaker was not vaccinating, so the other person doesn't have the vaccines. Idk why I've never understood people who don't vaccinate. Just look up some of the diseases everyone vaccinates for lol
Load More Replies...I got my COVID booster, my flu shot, and my pneumonia shot last week. Both shoulders ached for about five days. The COVID vaccines always cause aches like that, but the other two never had before. I'll let everyone know if they both ache next year, because I'm sure everyone is dying to know.
People who use excuses to justify their bad behavior. "But I'm like this because of XYZ, you understand, right?" No, no we don't.
THISSSS!!! I can't tell you how many times I hear people blame their shitty adult behavior on their childhoods. Mine was no picnic and I had to grow up and stop using that as an excuse to make poor decisions as an adult.
The day you realize that it stems from childhood, is the day you stop making excuses for yourself.
Load More Replies...It's a little different if they say "I did this because xyz, I'm sorry, I'm working on it" and they actually ARE working on it. As long as they are actively trying to be better, then, yes, try to have a little more patience. If it's nothing more than a flimsy excuse and they're not trying to work on themselves, then, yeah, screw them.
The queen/king of excuses. It's never their fault, always somebody else or excusable. I'm building up the gumption to dump 2 people like this in my life.
Do it, as soon as possible. Once you realise someone you know is such a one, it start hurting you, even if they don't mean to do so.
Load More Replies...While trauma is not an excuse to act like an a**e, it is often a reason for it. The real decider should be whether they are working on themselves or just say it as an excuse. My childhood was no walk in the park and it resulted in serious fear of abandonment. If i feel like someone is trying to kick me to the curb (even if they are not), i lash out in hysterics. I am working on it, and it has gotten better, but please have patience with people like me. We really are trying our best.
I stomp you cause someone else stomped me once. Oh okay. Understandable. Go on.
Load More Replies...This is one of my triggers also. Here is a back story of why. I am raising 2 of my grandkids because, one, my son was killed, two, their mother is an addict. The mother blames me for everything that is wrong in her life. She says that she is a good mother but cannot be bothered to come visit her children. That is somehow my fault too. Take responsibility for your actions, please.
Like being a complete b*tch because of your astrological sign.
Personally: Trump lover, lying, smoking, bad hygiene.
Things that I'd love to see changed in the US: attitudes about climate change, severe problems with education, and government subsidies to huge corporations that don't freakin' need them.
We just need some little kid to go up and be like, "Oh Putin, you're so amazing, I look up to you!" Then take out a knife and slit his throat. He chokes and dies, falling down, and the little kid says, "And now I look down on you. Like I always have." At this point, I'm not even above blackmail, Putin needs to die.
Madeline I find that the more likely method of his death isa coup by the silovik (strong man) faction in the Kremlin who are ex military politicians and quite sensible and could really help Russia turn into a contributing member of the world community instead of a bully
Load More Replies...Wow!. Just cause I smoke you put me in a group of evil retards?. Not cool.
What's hard for me to not do is lie if grown up in a very strict household and started to lie to get out of the basic things. I'm also really working on not lying to people.
Some of us grew up in houses where lying is necessary to feel safe. I'm sorry you seem to have gone through that. Learning to be honest in all areas of my life is very important. If I don't feel safe being honest with a particular person, then that person doesn't deserve to be part of my life. That may be difficult to do if you're not an adult yet. I hope you find the support you need.
Load More Replies...Okay, hear me out. Pleeeease don't downvote me on this. As bad as climate change is, and it IS bad, there are other much worse things that we need to focus on. Did you know about 2,195 children die a day of diarrhea alone! That is filed into open defecation. Things like that should be our main focus, trying to supply more bathrooms for other, dare I say third world counties.
I don't downvote you, but I do not think you are right. Climate change has a lot to do with people suffering in many countries. If it keeps rain away, they get no food, if their homes and fields are washed away by too much rain an flooding, they get no food. And flooding is also often the cause of so much diarrhea. These two things have been much worsened by climate change.
Load More Replies...Must be single because all eligible partners love Trump? Or that all people who hate Trump are already in relationships and therefore not available? I'm assuming it's the Trump part that you're upset about, because assuming all people smoke and have bad hygiene is even dumber than assuming that all people love trump.
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Looking down on those less fortunate than you. Just because someone is struggling (doesn’t matter in what regard, physically, mentally, financially, etc.), we shouldn’t look down upon them. It doesn’t necessarily make them an intrinsically bad person. Be kind.
Maybe as a metaphor for poverty as someone getting dealt a bad hand of cards/fate? It’s a stretch though absolutely
Load More Replies...Robin Williams once said ' every one is going thru something you know nothing about. Be kind , always." I try to live this everyday..
This is true for homeless people. Many people can be days away from homelessness and when it happens losing everything including a roof over your head, your contents plus family heirlooms, your livelihood are among the worst experiences anyone has to endure regardless of how it happened. Then you get idiots who assault homeless people whilst they sleep blaming the homeless saying that they're destroying the community. What about the attackers who then shout, swear, threaten and then assault the homeless, their actions destroy the community. Homeless people aren't the problem, it's the fact there are homeless people in the first place in the so-called developed countries that are the problem.
The existence of poverty is the result of bad policies. Be part of the solution.
Every one of us is just one twist of fate from being destitute and homeless. I don't care who you are, no one is above/better than the least in society. We are only as good as the way we treat those less fortunate. I've been on both ends; be kind, have courage, and be humble.
Double standards.
Without double standards, some people would have no standards at all
I have standards. They're very low standards, but I have them.
Load More Replies...the picture? no idea. Double standards? I'll use gender just bc it seems that's the one I see most often. It's like expecting a man to work on a car bc a woman "can't" It favors one group of people over the other.
Load More Replies...The picture isn't much of a double standard. I read a book once where the Blessed Mother begging her son to "DO SOMETHING!" because a party ran out of wine.
??? This lady encouraged her son to make 150 gallons of wine from water. Good stuff too.
It's fine if you don't like the statue in a store, but as a cradle Catholic, I'd like to register that there's no double standard here. With alcohol, Catholics practice moderation not abstinence. Catholics are all about the alcohol.
Mary would have probably loved a drink. Plus, she was no saint! (Who is?)
If you were raising a kid who thought he was God Almighty, you'd need a drink too.
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Rudeness, there is no need for it at any time, even if the other person is an a**, always be kind. Kindness winds them up even more, it's great.
Absolutely. I love remaining calm when people are turning red with frustration/rage.
It works even better when it comes to a fist fight. When someone is fuming red just smile and watch them make stupid mistakes. You don’t wanna fight the guy that smiles when you bloody his nose. I learned this at 15 when my dad punched me and I smiled! He knew right then uh-oh, I’m done!
Load More Replies...There’s an old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar”. Truest words ever spoken. Even works when you’re lodging a complaint. Much better than being a Karen.
But what if you don't want to attract flies?
Load More Replies...This 100%! I feel like I'm living in a mad world and most people have forgotten basic decency and kindness. You do not always have to agree on everything just to show a little kindness and compassion to a fellow human being. "Be Kind; Everyone You Meet is Fighting a Hard Battle" - Plato (maybe)
does that include being moody and sarcastic because im like that but only to my enemies
Yeah, always be kind first. Treat them like a 6 year old. If that doesn't work destroy them.
I tell that to my sibling sometimes and even my mom. Strange that I was nice to someone who beat me up.
I disagree. I think it's more fun to scare them. Give 'em the old CRAZY EYES.
If my not being kind to someone who is being an a*s is a dealbreaker, I will kindly advise you to make sure the door doesn’t hurt your derrière on the way out.
Once you know the true pleasure of "killing them with kindness" you can never go back. The more outraged and childish they become the more satisfying it is.
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Not respecting my time.
If you are constantly late, I don't want an apology. You obviously know that you take longer, so start sooner. Making me wait around for you will only make me feel like I'm not a priority, and I don't want to waste my time with that.
Exactly! if you're always late on me, if you pretend to be on your way when you are in fact just about to take a shower or bake a turkey and watch it while it cooks, it means you don't value my time and you don't respect me
Load More Replies...I have NO sense of time. If I'm not watching a clock it could be ten minutes or an hour I've been out checking on chickens, I don't know. I jump in for a quick shower, get lost in thought, come out a prune WAY later than planned. If I need to get to something I set alarms, I tell everybody when I need to leave by and ask them to remind me, I take my shower the night before. It took time to learn how to cope and sometimes it falls apart, but yes, I can absolutely meet you on time.
Dehumanizing anyone
Fr tho my brother thought it would be ok to dehumanize me for having autism he pisses me off
Heh I have autism. Misophonia + ADHD is REALLY F!@%ING DIFFICULT.
Load More Replies...Some people just can't be humanized. They are evil to the core and end up running countries
They're still human. They may be dangerous. They may be disgusting. But they're human. Act with caution and you absolutely don't have to agree with them, but they at least deserve the chance to make things right. They probably won't, but they deserve the chance.
Load More Replies...When people dehumanize others, in their minds those people actually deserve the shitty treatment they’re given. F****d up logic, I know.
Especially if they just have a mildly different political opinion than someone else. I see a lot of that on this site; people being downvoted to hell and back and trash talked simply because they have a different stance on something
Not respecting my space, both physically and with my time. I'm someone who needs a lot of time to myself, to relax and recharge my social batteries, and while I do want to spend time with you, I also need you to understand that I can't give you every free minute I have.
I totally agree, especially if you are older. I'm 40 and so at this point, I've just gotten used to my own company and if I have someone else it's because I want to, not because I'm desperate or need them. And while I could make room for someone else and compromise with certain things, I would want my own bedroom and my own space. I like being able to have time at the end of the night to myself. I like stretching out in bed. He can go play video games in his room or do what he wants to do. I can read and do my hobbies, watch what I want on tv, etc. Sex isn't the issue- there would be plenty and we could have a nice nap together and cuddle here and there but I would just want to have space of my own to decompress at the end of the night. I don't know why people have to sleep in the same bed. Most couples I know hate it especially as they get older. They take it personally when it's just about comfort.
All of this. I wish we could afford a place with two bedrooms. Life would be so much easier.
Load More Replies...That's why introverts should never make friendly with needy people. They're too clingy and destroy your peace.
Ugh, my ex. If I wanted to do something on my own, that meant I didn't love him. I didn't want to watch a movie, I wanted to read my new book. But what HE heard, was "I don't want to spend time with you". After 12 years, I lost it. The next time he said I didn't love him, it dawned on me that he was right. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "You know what Mike? You're absolutely right, I DON'T love you anymore". He tried to back pedal right quick, but the damage was already done.
→Rudeness to and ignoring of service workers. →Racism, sexism, intolerance
I walked out on more than one first date because the guy was rude to our waitperson. Didn't bother to explain, just picked up my purse and left. They were usually blocked even before I got to my car.
Casual lawbreaking. Rifer now than ever before, if someone has no respect for a simple set of rules that civilized people are supposed to abide by, they're going to treat everything and everyone in their world (including you) with the same lack of respect.
Depends on the law. Arbitrary laws that exist for no reason other than to give someone power other someone else NEED to be broken. The law here states that you cannot carry 'ANY article which has a blade OR is sharply pointed'. In other words, it is technically illegal to carry a pencil.
"Sir, you're under arrest." "Why?" "You are guilty of carrying an object with a sharp point." "It's a freaking pencil!"
Load More Replies...We had stupid laws here like black people can't sit on this or that park bench, or black people must use THIS door not THAT door. Casual lawbreaking in that context was morally imperative. Law is not morality. Law is a guideline. Morality comes first.
Precisely. Breaking laws is how the laws change. How can reform happen if no one disobeys? Look at WHY the law was made and not what it says exactly
Load More Replies...I am a civilized person but I break laws I don't agree with. Like I smoke weed, does that make me a bad person?
And you definitely haven't read much history if you think law breaking is "rifer" now than its ever been. You just hear more about it now because of social media and the 24-hr news cycle.
If there is a law you disagree with. Get out there and vote for someone who does too (or go into politics yourself). That is the right way to get laws changed in a democratic society
Mindless obediance / compliance with rules and regulations which thinking individuals question?
I respect rules and laws i can see the reason for. I do not respect laws against same sex marriage. I do not respect laws that do not allow me to defend myself from an attacker. In my country it is illegal to shoot an intruder (even though they could be armed) and it is illegal to set traps on your property. Luckily we are allowed to carry knives, guns (with permit) and pepper sprays. I will also happily threaten or beat up abusers (parents of some of my friends, bullies, etc), because the police won't do anything. And if you mistreat your animal and police doesn't take it away, i certainly will.
If they've ever cheated. I can't trust a person like that.
Always remember, if he/she will cheat with you, he/she will cheat on you
I know this sounds crazy but, something happened when I hit 35 where I just realized sex for men is just a different thing. Don't get me wrong, I would be angry and it would depend on the circumstances. But if my boyfriend came to me like a man and said 'I'm so sorry. you were out of town and I ended up making a bad decision and had sex with a girl i picked up in a bar when I went out with the guys. I don't know her and I felt horrible right after I did it. Please forgive me,' I might be more willing to forgive that. Not like 'yay everything is fine!' kind of forgiveness, and I'd be more likely to not want him to go out without me for a while until he earned my trust back, but it wouldn't be the huge betrayal I used to feel like it would be when I was in my 20s. I think the circumstances are really where the betrayal comes in. If it was with a friend of mine or it was ongoing...that's different.
I think that’s terrible advice. Not to say you’re terrible. But I had that same ephiphany. Until one day I said I can’t keep making excuses for a man who can’t satisfy his thirst. Men have been told they can’t do any wrong, so when a man “conquers a women” it is just sex. But it has a negative affect out of what percentage of those women. So as a women who thought the same, and managed to keep him for years because I kept saying “men will be men,” came to a place where I said…but what happens to all the women? What you think seems easy to handle is not. Those trips to “join him” start of with the excuse to just build trust. But then he is suffocated. That one time slip up becomes yearly, and you lose your own identity as a women. You have just blended into his conquers, and you’re always going to feel down. I’m projecting, but someone has to say something that can potentially save them time and dissolution
Load More Replies...That’s what I think of when I see the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with while I was recovering from surgery. If it was so easy for him to leave me at my lowest, he’ll leave her no matter where she is in life.
funny thing is most of the people who make statements like this have cheated, are cheating, or plan to cheat.
Apparently the stats are around 20% for cheaters, so the chances are pretty good you'll hit one. My view on cheating is (because it has hit me), is to ask: what did I do to disconnect from this person so much that they went elsewhere? In short, I think it is my fault when it happens. This thing of heteronormative serial monogamy is a very western christian thing. I do not buy it. I think it's a religious artefact, or an industrial revolution artefact. Not saying I think cheating is right. Just saying that humans are not simple things that follow rules like cheating = bad, married forever = good. Those are conservative religious ideals. In my view, a cheating partner means I'm boring them, not engaging them emotionally, or they are insecure and need constant affirmation of attractiveness, or, in the case where it can't be fixed: there is in fact someone objectively better who meets their needs. In which case, that person deserves to move on, and be with whoever will make them happy.
If l'm boring someone they're free to go the minute they want. Cheating is inexcusable and has nothing to do with religion, as l'm a born and raised atheist.
Load More Replies...That's not so smart. You can dump the cheater, but the murderess kills you to go to another guy. I saw on youtube a guy who faked his own death, cause his wife wanted a hitman to get him killed.
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A weird one - but since this is opinion - being undependable.
This is a big one. It's why my first longterm broke up. They were just unreliable.
Thanks... most people don't understand. They're like... " is he cute? funny? rich? smart?" And I'm like - "Better yet...dependable!" while people roll their eyes at me.
Load More Replies...If we give our word, then don't live up to it, our word is worth nothing.
David Niven speaking of his close friend Errol Flynn: "Errol was absolutely reliable - he would always let you down."
This about your gut. If you feel very, very uneasy about someone, there's a big chance you may be right about how much reliable this person could be
Depends. What's undependable? Forgetting your bday or cheating with half the town?
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1) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of their race. I have never once in my life had a single negative thought in my head because of this. I realize that we are a bit different, and I truly enjoy the experience of learning.
2) Disrespecting or insulting a lady. I consider myself a true gentleman. The term does confuse me a bit though. If a man goes too far all gentleness flies out the window. More than once I have ended up in the ER because of this. (Them as well, of course).
3) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of their sexual orientation. My Uncle Mike was gay and was far more of a true father to me than the neglectful/abusive thing that impregnated my mother. He bought me my first wristwatch, taught me how to drive a car and taught me to believe in myself and have true self-respect.
4) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of homelessness. I have done literally hundreds of hours of volunteer work for them, feeding them primarily (ex Chef) but many other ways as well. I have spoken and gotten close to many of them, and the overwhelming majority are there because they have simply fallen on hard times such as losing a job. Others unfortunately have mental issues, and others (ladies primarily) are simply trying to escape abusive relationships.
I admit that I am a bit of a rare breed. I tend to care about others more than I care about myself.
Yep, this one is more of a self righteous brag than "deal breakers".
Load More Replies...#2 is a little confusing to me. You shouldn't be disrespectful or insulting to anyone based on their gender, but you shouldn't treat women differently than men. Like, don't give someone a pass or special perks just because they're a woman. Maybe just "don't be disrespectful and insulting to people in general"?
'Deed we do. You are quite welcome.
Load More Replies...In re your #2: the term "gentleman" doesn't refer to a "gentle man", it means a man who is a member of the gentry, ie the ruling class. Gentleness has nothing to do with the meaning of the word. Just so you know.
Re #1: it’s important not to be TOO confident that you have no biases, because a lot of them are subtle. Biases don’t always look like hatred.
If I'm being honest, this seems more of a pat on the back than anything. Literally for every point they made, there was a "Guess what I did" moment. Kinda made me respect the author a bit less.
#2 sounds like condoning violence. I would put using violence to solve problems on my list of deal breakers. There is no problem in life that is best solve by violence.
Nothing turns me off more than someone who makes fun of or hates gay people, or uses homophobic slurs. I live just outside of Boston and the homophobia there is just rampant. I'm not gay but I just don't understand hating people for that when there are so many better reasons to really hate someone, lol.
People who are too materialistic and like expensive stuff and can't even afford it, people who glorify Kardashians.
The K Krew? Toxic, hideous, dull, fake, dumb Dumb DUMB. None has read a book since it was required in h.s. [Are they all drop-outs?]. When you spend your entire life on makeup & clothes, you are a zero, zilch, zip...nothing but an insufferable whom everyone laughs at. No1 cares if a fool has $ if they bore us [to death].
My friend who is very sensible with money herself, told me how her sister had bought some socks for her child. The socks were of a certain brand, so she had paid more than 20 other pairs of socks in similar quality cost. I don't get why.
Trying to ‘cure’ someone with mental illness by putting them in situations that make it worse
Oh you have social anxiety? Let’s force you to socialize under stress to “train” you!
Oh you have Misophonia? Listen to ALL OF YOUR TRIGGERS REPEATEDLY! :(
Load More Replies...I mean, I wouldn't put anyone else through that, but I do intentionally put myself in these situations. 'Cause f**k that, I'm not letting my anxieties getting the best of me, so I'll put myself through whatever it takes in order to overcome whatever my problem is.
Exactly! I struggle with depression in my classes because I feel like I'm not learning (hence why I'm on this site right not) and when I can't pay attention I'm made to feel worse about it. I have no motivation for this topic, please don't make me feel incompetent in my field because I don't enjoy a topic that I'm not even working with
This entire post inspired me to take my depressed a*s deeper under this blanket, and to not move from my couch until maybe tomorrow
It's just about as effective as dumping someone with a severe phobia of sharks into a shark tank. Yes, exposure works, but it's a long-term goal. It's not the first thing you try and definitely not something you force upon someone. You have to be ready yourself and feel like you know and understand yourself and your anxiety well. It might take years to get there for some. But forcing it will always be a disaster when you jump to exposure before everything else. You shouldn't be forced to take a big exam before you've even been able to learn anything about the subject. The hard work is worth it in the end, because feeling like "fack it, bring it on" instead of "I'm dying" is pretty nice. Pls trust this super experienced random internet person on this, many therapists sadly have no clue, and I could probably write several pages about all of this. (I'm not a therapist or medically educated, but have 15 years of experience, so there's lots more where this came from.)
Load More Replies...People who think things like shoplifting are a joke. I get that, more than even, people wanna stick it to the Man...but jeez guys, it's the little guys that catch hell for your amusement. Knock it off. And being rude to service workers in general.
My bellwether for new people is how they treat the people they don’t have to be nice to.
I love that word, bellwether. I've never heard it before, so thanks! I love collecting aesthetically pleasing words to add to my vernacular =)
Load More Replies...If shoplifters think they're '" sticking it to the man", they're fools. It will be "stuck to" everyone except "the man". Including all the other shoppers (with higher prices) and in some cases the store employees. A shoplifter is willfully performing a criminal act. It's called stealing.
Shoplifting doesn't actually raise the prices for customers any more than out of date items and damaged items. The company raises prices because the CEO needs a fourth yacht.
I was shocked when we went to my sister in law's for Easter. My niece (24) was actually bragging about shoplifting from Target. I managed to keep my mouth shut, but I lost what little respect I had for her in the first place.
The thing with shoplifting is businesses will increase their prices to help cover the cost of stolen items so then everyone else is paying more because of a few people who don’t feel they should have to pay and think the business is the one losing out and can afford the loss. The business isn’t losing out at all. The victims are the business’ customers
This. Everyone ought to work customer service for a few years so they know what its like
1. Lack of compassion. 2. Corporal punishment. 3. Backpedaling/making terrible excuses. 4. Gum smacking (misophonia) 5. Terrible bias 6. Toxic masculinity/femininity 7. Litter bugs 8. Ppl who spread lies/misinformation on medicine/science.
Several years ago I heard from a man who was hiring an administrative assistant. Candidate A was better qualified than Candidate B, but Candidate A chewed gum "like a deranged cow" and loudly smacked and snapped it all through the interview. Candidate B got the job.
Dang. I probably go with the more skilled candidate and just let em know that gum smacking isn't acceptable professional behavior. Lol
Load More Replies...ANOTHER MISO SOUP! (sorry that's the term I use for fellow Misophonics :) )
I have massive misophonia so anyone who chews with their mouth open will be told off pronto. I don't hold back.
Not other people's responsibility to cater to your neuroses. It's not their fault you can't tolerate certain noises. It's on you to find a way to cope. And I am someone who can't tolerate noise.
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Lying. Honesty is the only policy unless it's a joke, but don't forget to let everyone in on it afterward.
Lying gets vilyfied a lot, but honesty really is not always the best solution. Very often being polite/friendly is far more important than telling the truth, especially if an honest input can't change a situation anyway. On the long run/important issues honesty is the way. On Christmas when mom just spent six hours working her butt off in the kitchen for the family and asks "how do you like the roastbeef" it's NOT the time to be honest and tell her you've had better.
There is usually a way to be honest without being critical or unkind. It's a matter of reframing what you would say bluntly to a way that's easier for someone else to accept. Not less true, but easier to face.
Load More Replies...Disagree. Lying can save your life. For example: SS officer. "Are you a jew?" me... "Er no."
There are those that will answer truthfully regardless.
Load More Replies..."If honesty is the best policy, then dishonesty - by process of elimination - is the second-best policy." - George Carlin
Except lying about things that could hurt. No, your butt doesn’t look big in that. I love the dress you chose, etc etc
Not lying and being honest are not always the same thing. Think about it.
Turning everything into extremes and using Ad hominem argumentations. Way too common lately, though
Oh one big pet peeve is when they jump to the worst possible conclusion and then blow that out of proportion. Mr froggy jump jump.
The nature of a philosophical discussion is to consider the extreme of a behaviour; esoteric, but interesting. For a fine example, see Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged.
Smoking tobacco. It killed my father and I just can't handle it. It's still a trigger to this day.
While I don't have emotional issues with cigarette smoking (although I would prefer not being with someone who does), I'm at a point I wouldn't want to be with someone who smokes pot all the time. Occasionally is fine but I feel like everybody smokes so much pot these days. I'm so tired of having to deal with potheads. It's literally everyone I know. Can you not go one day without being high? Can I go a week without my clothes smelling like skunk? Can we have a conversation without you being stoned? And can you not complain to me about being broke or how you can't afford rent when you spend 50 bucks a week or more on pot? It's just frustrating. You aren't cool because you collect bongs or know literally everything chemically about pot but can't hold down a job for more than a year. Because keeping a well paying job isn't worth quitting smoking to you. I'm just tired of the whole pot culture thing.
My dad died at 53 from a heart attack. The coroner said it was made worse from the smoking. His father taught him that real men smoke at 13yo. 40 years later he died.
Load More Replies...People who don't accept others for being themselves. No matter their color, gender, preference (in anything really), background, appearance, style, ANYTHING. We are all people. Why can't so many people except that?
I have to disagree with you. Some people are awful and I don't accept them for that.
Has me wondering too. You know how the bible says to love your neighbor as your self. If you cannot love yourself, how can you love your neighbor.
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Load More Replies...You mean to say you have no problem with people who are Nazis? Yes, we are all people but that doesn't mean we are ALL good...some of us are bad and some of us are ugly especially in thought and action.
I can think of exceptions to this: Racists, pedos, ablists, homophobes, etc. None of them will get acceptance from me.
Many of these people (particularly racists, ablists, homophobes, etc) think the way they do because of the environment in which they were brought up. When I was a kid (80's - 90's), it was still seen as acceptable to be homophopic. It was looked as as unnatural. We jokingly called each other f@gs, and referred to things we didn't like as gay. Eventually many of us grew up to realize that this wasn't ok. We were simply products of our time/environment. I guess what I'm trying to say is that many of these people are not "bad" people. They just need to be educated and actually have conversations with people who have a different point of view. We shouldn't just write people off because of their flawed reasoning. Everyone deserves a chance to grow and learn.
Load More Replies...I agree. I hate when people try to force their opinions on others. The reason that we are who we are is because we are who we are. If that makes sense. People having different views and opinions is what makes the human race okay.
Not liking dogs. Or any other animal really.
Hmm well in some religions, some animals are considered dirty, e.g. Islam. So perhaps you need to think about why you have this position. In africa where I live, dogs are mere security guards. They are not family, and this thing of letting them sleep on your bed or lick your face is regarded with disgust.
Eurgh. I know where my dog's mouth has been and I can't imagine that their little Ruby-wuby-woo-woo is any better, so stop with the face kissing and licking. So repulsive - no cleaner than licking the sole of a shoe.
Load More Replies...I love animals. And despise dogs. These things have no place near me - I'm way more likely to trust a f****n' crocodile or a shark than a dog.
Being unimaginative Not being curious about something, as in you have no urge to investigate. Being sure that no answer is the right answer. You just didn't find it yet. Hypocrisy. Do you hate people that hate? You're a hypocrite. Find an actual reason to hate that is internally consistent, or even better, don't hate. Being self serving. If this is a zero sum game for you, I'm not interested.
Not having any friends. If someone I’m seeing doesn’t have any friends and are all alone they will try to keep me from having any friends too. I’ve known my best friend for 40+ years and no one is going to keep me from seeing her. Just because they are friendless doesn’t mean I have to be too.
Not necessary true. I don't have a lot of friends (introvert) but it's totally fine by me if my partner (extrovert) wants to hang out with friends as long as we divide time for kids and housework equally (if you have children that is). I like to go to the gym so that's my "me-time" and he hangs out with his friends. No issue with that at all.
Maybe your position would be better expressed as, people that try to limit your friendships? Otherwise it seems like you distrust anyone that has a hard time making friends. Granted, some people can't make friends because they're disagreeable, but sometimes we're just awkward.
I knew a lady that had no friends, because she believed they would only be her friend to get to her money. It was sad.
Load More Replies...Depends on the circumstances. If they just moved or quit a toxic circle, they might be alright. My brother just moved to a new city after leaving the army, and he's incredibly caring, but hasn't found any new contacts yet. My husband's former best friend, on the other hand, recently got married without inviting any of his "best friends", hasn't had any contact with his parents since then (his parents are "bonus parents" to my husband, since he was over so much as a teenager, the mother has heart troubles and will have an operation soon) and quit gaming because his now-wife thinks that's childish. I completely support my husband in not trying to stay in touch.
Introvert can also have a life with another introvert. Don't see any issue there
As someone who has been friendless due to bullying and the aftermath, bye Felicia 👋
Ever heard about social anxiety? Some people don't make friends easily because they're simply awkward, or someone betrayed them before and they don't trust others. There is many issues that lead to living without friends, and there issues aren't always their fault. And just because someone has many friends, doesn't mean they're actual friends. What's better, having one person whom you can trust, or dozens of people who will act friendly, use you and then backstab you when hey no longer need you? So unless you mean people with attitude like: "I am special and I hate normies, cause they're all stupid and don't deserve nice things like I do" , I disagree.
Umm, can't agree with that. I don't care about how many friends my partner have and won't keep her from seeing them. I'm, however, extremely picky about my own friends, so I keep their number low, 'cause I can't deal with b******t
Disrespect of people & planet
Uh...I think that response qualifies as disrespect of people. I personally can't stand knee-jerk reactionism.
Load More Replies...People who use an aspect of themselves to justify a*****e behavior. For example, one I see commonly: "I'm an introvert. I'm always making plans to do stuff, then back out last minute! Haha" and act like it makes them oh so quirky.No, you're an a*****e with no respect for your friends and no time management skills.
Totally agree. Besides, a real introvert doesn't make those to begin with.
I'm an introvert and I hate accepting invitations for going out to meals, drinks, etc. I love to stay home. When invited, I always say thanks but no thanks. It is NEVER accepted. So I just don't show up. I told them, they won't listen, they moan the next day that I'm antisocial. Well .. yes, I am.
My sister and BIL have loads of friends and they maintain those friendships very well. Week out, weekend out, party here, party there. Lately BIL had this huge bday party. The other bday party he was a bit sad that we didn't show up. The kids couldn't come, so I didnt want to go. My brother hates parties. My parents didn't want to go. So I met my sister. She said: the party was great. LOL they hadn't even invited us this time. You never come anyway. His twin brother didn't even show up. It's so much work, maintaining friendships. I have friends. Introverted friends who don't care if you say nothing for a year.
Load More Replies...I make plans then instantly regret it. Introversion is difficult bc everyone wants to change you.
Depends where you live and work. We had an extrovert at my job. She got bullied for being so extrovert. I had to help the poor thing. She was really nice, but Canadian, not Dutch.
Load More Replies...I agree. People use race, gender, or being mentally ill (anxiety disorders, etc) to justify behavior they know is wrong. I understand mental disorders can keep you from getting the help you need but at least acknowledge that they might be the cause of problems and not because the world has done you wrong. you need to find out how to make your way in the world with that handicap- the world shouldn't have to bend to you. Don't like racism? Me either. Protest, vote, do something proactive in your community. Hurting someone or robbing/vandalizing someone isn't going to help change anything, especially an innocent person. And then sometimes... you're just a shitty person, and that's why people don't like you. It has nothing to do with you being a man/woman, gay, mentally ill, or your race. Look at your behavior and see if that's what's causing the issues.
Slow walkers. I will leave you behind and never look back. Doubles as an easy breakup.
Slow walkers? That's a deal breaker? I walk slow because of a physical limitation. Does that count?
Yup I'm always lagging behind cos my knee likes to punish me if I walk to far or to fast
Load More Replies...Lying, stealing, cheating, vain, arrogance, racism, sexism, ageism, homophobic types, kiss a$$es. All dealbreakers professionally & personally. I’m a dog person and can’t have cats because I have birds. I used to have chinchillas…..
- people who dont like cats (big cat person i grew up with 2 cats) - people that think cats are how they are shown in comics and tv shows, they can be very well behaved and gentle creatures! i cant remember any time where our cats knocked something over or bit someone. - not be mindful of my 500+ hotwheel collection (no redlines :( ) - not like tawog or regular show - not laughing at my dark jokes :)))))))))))))))))))))
I saw big cat person, thought immediately of lions, tigers, panthers....then read the rest. People dropped off their pregnant cats at my house in the country. I once had 26. My cat just attacked me as I walked out of the bathroom. No offense, but were your cats real? I have had cats for 65 years and every single one has misbehaved, and while they might love to snuggle, they attack as part of their play. And to get my attention, they invariably knock something off just to get my attention. It may not be breakable, but it gets knocked off, or toilet paper has been taken out of the cabinet and rolled into the living room. Normal cat behavior.
if they misbehave to get attention, it may be because youre not attending to them. Mine come and ask, if they want me to play or feed them or just snuggle.
Load More Replies...Cats are pretty cool creatures and have various personalities. I've been attacked multiple times by my own cats (just 2 of 4 of them) in my teens, but don't hold it personally. LOL I probably encounter them on a bad day. Collecting stuff is pretty cool though. My friends and I do collecting stuff from games to tiny figurines
If a cat attacks you in a serious way it is because you did something to annoy it. Often this will be an abused animal that is traumatised and overreacting. I've had cats for almost 50 years. They never attack unless they have PTSD, ... OR... you misread their play mode and go overboard. Sign 1: flattened ears. That means back off. Sign 2: Tail wagging. That means I am going to attack. Generally they do not like belly rubs so maybe that is what caused it?
Load More Replies...I agree that they CAN be well behaved. I've got two that are sweet and -normally- follow rules. They're a bit mischievous though. The older one wants to assert dominance over my wife and daughter. The younger one is a bit neurotic and likes to pee in sinks and tubs. We almost got him toilet trained because of his fondness for urinating on porcelain. Almost.
Jealousy. I shouldn't have to defend myself for talking to women, including people I've known since childhood, and deescalate your rage and accusations. If we're together, it's because I really like you. I'm going to trust you completely and have confidence in your choices. If you want something else, so be it. I shouldn't have to force you into being with me. I expect the same in return. In the past, it turns out she was projecting her insecurities after being unfaithful herself. Ended it and moved on.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. Sorry, I realize it’s not their fault and I am not an ableist, but I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with either type. This is a dealbreaker for friendships too…
racist, people talking behind your back, childish ness, people who belittle others
Heyyy! Childish Ness is my rapper name! (inspired by Elliot Ness - I fight crime by day and rap at night)
My dealbreakers are (in no particular order): 1) Being the type of person who refuses to be open to others' ideas/thoughts. You don't have to agree but don't shut down someone for disagreeing with you. 2) Misogyny and Misandry 3) Cheaters. There is absolutely no reason to do this. If you feel the need, then break up/divorce your partner first. 4) Abusers. Domestic, child, and animal. Physical, psychological, emotional, verbal, financial and any other ways a person can be abusive towards another. 5) People who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. Also, people who refuse to apologize. 6) Active Drug/Alcohol abusers. If they are sober then that is ok but if they are actively consuming drugs and/or alcohol, then it's a solid nope. 7) Criminals meaning anyone who has committed a violent offense, crimes against persons and places. Basically any crime that is punishable by jail/prison especially felonies.
Not all crimes that are felonies and punishable by jail/prison are violent crimes. I did something bad nearly 30 years ago in a moment of desperation. I never physically harmed anyone (white collar crime). Since I served my time I've not gotten so much as a traffic ticket. Not all ex-cons are bad people.
Not taking responsibility for their actions. I accept most things, no one is perfect but you need to take responsibility and be able to communicate about it. Also, you need to have basic emotional skills and please - no one sided sex. It's a big no no with partners who doesn't return favors or just don't care about you sexually. It speaks a lot of their feelings towards you.
You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. Anything that betrays a person's trust means that someone else's trust in you has no value to you. I feel likewise about such people. Coal and diamonds are exactly the same thing (carbon) with one crucial difference: one is rare, precious, valuable and difficult to acquire. The other is plentiful, common and fit only to be burned. Interesting how people are the same way.
I find it disturbing that you're seemingly nonchalant about burning people
Marketing and gigantic holes in the ground are what makes diamonds valuable. What's the use in that? Can't help it: in this analogy I stand by honest coal.
Load More Replies...I would rather have a useful rock or wood than a useless diamond. Diamonds aren't rare at all, their price is pumped by artificial scarcity so dumb ppl think that they are a luxury item. They are the most plentiful in the galaxy. Wood is more rare and valuable than diamonds. With wood and rocks you can get food, shelter, protection, etc. Look for the geodes. 😉
Diamonds aren't rare. It's just a great marketing plan. Diamonds are colorless, and plentiful.
I don't understand this one. A diamond makes a good first impression? If you make a bad first impression you betray a person's trust? Makes no sense. Someone who only cares about first impressions is coal? Ppl are like cats. If you have to pick one up from a shelter, you can go for the fun one who approaches you or for the shy one in the corner or an old one. All the cats are cute. Someone who betrays your trust is useless? Ppl are not perfect. Forgive if someone betrays your trust. You may have done it too.
Carbon in diamond form is not rare or precious in nature, the distribution is artificially controlled to keep the supply limited and the price high. Research DeBeers and the Dutch diamond trade.
Same thing.....never mind the time and pressure the diamond took to form.....you go grab that broken metaphor.
individuals who can't form an opinion for themselves. example don't know the person but so and so said this so it must be true to. AND LIARS
Do not make fun of someone who meditates, believes in the healing power of herbs, (not discounting modern medical science here. They can work together) or loves looking for crystals. Just to try to force me to believe you’re right about a political prisoner who died 2000 years ago. Faith and spirituality are part of what makes us who we are. Discuss if you can discuss it with others. If not let. It. Go.
They can't work together, and believing they work at all ("alternative" medication and "religion")... is the reason we are progressing so slowly particularly in controlling things like Covid.
Well, some people (like me) practice witchcraft but still don’t discount stuff like vaccines and healthcare, while some people are batshit crazy and chug essential oils instead of getting a shot. They can and do work together, we just hear more about those who completely disregard science to an extreme.
Load More Replies...Assuming I am a manchild based on interests. I've watched My Little Pony, I like anthros, and I love to write romantic stories. The moment my date finds these out and judges me, I'm outta here.
No. I'm sorry but a fully grown 'man' being a My Little Pony fan is creepy AF.
Genuine question. What is a brony and why is it a red flag? I have seen mentions of them here and there but with no context and now they are a "red flag"?? I'm confused and/or getting to the age of being unable to keep up with new definitions and fans of stuff
Load More Replies...If you judge someone on what they listen/read/watch. It shouldn't affect how you treat people
Um, I might have agreed to this 25 years ago, but not since Murdoch & OAN et al. Telling me you respect people who promote lies, hate, and sedition will definitely affect my approach and interactions with them! Have a hard time not judging those self exposed selfish, hate based "My beliefs are better than facts or science" crowd prove many humans suck out loud.
I meant works of fiction not people and politics. Sorry if I wasn't clear on that
Load More Replies...Religion and politics are two topics I don’t want to ever discuss with other people. Bc more often than not, those that don’t agree with you on either topics will either try to change your mind and join them or get nasty and rude just bc you don’t agree with them.
I call that entitlement tyrant ego I always look at the other guys view it's not only enlightening but beneficial to hear another opinion IF we are talking just don't knock on my door to voice it
I mean I understand that we each have our own opinions and beliefs about something and I’m cool with that. Just don’t force it down my throat 😊
Load More Replies...Lying. A pattern of a lying lifestyle. Broke up with 6 guys bc they lied to me & others.
Six guys? You obviously keep attracting them. I suggest you go to therapy and try find out why it is that you are attracting them. Was your dad a habitual liar?
Relationship wise, if she likes dogs. No. I'm a cat person through and through.
I don't have anything against people who like dogs, I actually like them too. But not liking cats is a no go for me as a cat person, and a huge red flag. If you don't like cats, you won't like me and I won't like you 🤷♀️
I love cats but I'm just skittish of them because one bit me when I was young. Still think they are cute tho.
Load More Replies...I don't understand why you have to be one or the other. I like cats AND dogs, it's just... cats don't seem to like me too much, but dogs love me!
Because cats are better than dogs obvs.
Load More Replies...so, hot take. I don't like dogs. I was attacked as a kid, and I'm allergic, and I'm tactile defensive. They are damn intrusive, shoving their nose in your lap etc, licking your face, ears etc., licking your hands, etc. At one stage I had a dog and it ate the cat's crap and then wanted to lick my face. My dad had one which walked through the house with crap dribbling down its leg onto the floor and would piss against the furniture. I find it revolting. I cannot bear having them around. But vote my experience down, by all means. Because I know, in all ya'lls american movies, the dog is the hero and the villain has a cat. ALWAYS. Because apparently cats are bad. Cats however mind their own business and look after themselves and bury their crap. If I never encountered another dog again I'd be just fine.
Oh thank god someone else who had this happen to them.
Load More Replies...I have no idea why this is downvoted. Apparently people think that disliking dogs is a huge issue. Maybe it's because they live in europe or america? Not everyone loves dogs. But watch how people will downvote this because they do not understand why, instead of asking why. https://www.latimes.com/world/la-xpm-2012-dec-27-la-fg-wn-southafrica-zuma-dogs-20121227-story.html
Because it's not about whether the person likes dogs, they're prepared to write off another person because THEY like dogs.
Load More Replies...Don't suffer fools. And there's so much willful ignorance and contently misinformed around today. Pure laziness and prejudice.
I was about to ask why lazy people weren't on here .
Load More Replies...Some common threads I noticed: 1) bigotry, i.e., racism, homophobia, sexism; 2) rudeness; 3) dislike of animals; 4) dishonesty
Bigotry - unless of course it's bigotry against people with a religious belief, a right-wing political belief, a dislike of animals, personal difficulty with social interaction, etc. in which case it seems to be obligatory to hate and bully them as much as possible. If this is the new atheism then Christianity is starting to look attractive, because I see zero genuine love for other people any more unless they live up to an impossible ideal.
Load More Replies...Breaking News!!!: Antisocial behavior a deal breaker for relationships or friendships! More news as this sensational, unheard of, never before espoused breaking story unfolds!!!
Relationship wise, my red lines are someone who isn't clean and tidy, no cheating (or general dishonesty), and I can't stand drama queens or gossipers..so I draw the line at that too cause I know we'd only end up wasting time when it wouldn't work out in the long run.
Two Things I HATE: 1) No sense of humor. Comedy happens wherever I go -- funny shirts, bumper stickers, comedy advertisements - no laughter, no connection. 2) Limited vocabulary. Must have been clever in high school to cuss, but using F*** and S*** every other word does not make a conversation or show intelligence. Don’t have to be Shakespeare but you have to communicate.
Inconsistency. Don't put on a show to "win" me over and then turn into a dirtbag. Just be yourself from the beginning and the consistent part is easy!
People in the workplace who behave like they're still at high school. You're an adult, act like one.
Don't suffer fools. And there's so much willful ignorance and contently misinformed around today. Pure laziness and prejudice.
I was about to ask why lazy people weren't on here .
Load More Replies...Some common threads I noticed: 1) bigotry, i.e., racism, homophobia, sexism; 2) rudeness; 3) dislike of animals; 4) dishonesty
Bigotry - unless of course it's bigotry against people with a religious belief, a right-wing political belief, a dislike of animals, personal difficulty with social interaction, etc. in which case it seems to be obligatory to hate and bully them as much as possible. If this is the new atheism then Christianity is starting to look attractive, because I see zero genuine love for other people any more unless they live up to an impossible ideal.
Load More Replies...Breaking News!!!: Antisocial behavior a deal breaker for relationships or friendships! More news as this sensational, unheard of, never before espoused breaking story unfolds!!!
Relationship wise, my red lines are someone who isn't clean and tidy, no cheating (or general dishonesty), and I can't stand drama queens or gossipers..so I draw the line at that too cause I know we'd only end up wasting time when it wouldn't work out in the long run.
Two Things I HATE: 1) No sense of humor. Comedy happens wherever I go -- funny shirts, bumper stickers, comedy advertisements - no laughter, no connection. 2) Limited vocabulary. Must have been clever in high school to cuss, but using F*** and S*** every other word does not make a conversation or show intelligence. Don’t have to be Shakespeare but you have to communicate.
Inconsistency. Don't put on a show to "win" me over and then turn into a dirtbag. Just be yourself from the beginning and the consistent part is easy!
People in the workplace who behave like they're still at high school. You're an adult, act like one.
