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Tastefully offensive—what a delightful oxymoron. Causing someone to feel resentful, upset, or annoyed in an appropriate manner that shows good aesthetic judgment. Cheers to that! Oh, was it a bit confusing? Don’t worry, the following tweets and memes will embody the meaning. 

Shared by the Social Media Page "Tastefully Offensive," these bits of human communication add some much-needed spice to our daily lives, especially when they reflect the more chaotic aspects of what it means to be a human in 2023. Or at least, what’s left of us… 

Upvote your favorites, leave comments with your thoughts (and jokes, because we all need a laugh or two), and make sure to check out the previous article Bored Panda did on this page; it’ll have more funny bits, so you might want to clickity-clack on that hyperlink. Now let’s get into the madness! 

More info: Instagram | Facebook

#1

Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

tastefullyoffensive Report

Pansexual Child of Hades
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So U R ending the wedding with a crash instead of a bang!

Pieter LeGrande
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing quite like a parent who deliberately sets out to spoil their child's wedding.

Monday
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would this spoil the wedding? I'd laugh my a*s off if my parent did something like this.

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Upstaged75
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was about 12 years old I cracked a window our house by throwing a rock at it. I had spent the night at the neighbor's house and when I went back home everyone was still asleep. No one would answer the door and I was locked out. So stupid me starts throwing small rocks at the window to get their attention. One of the rocks was apparently too big or I threw it too hard. Eventually my brother answered the door and let me in. But no one realized that the cracked window was from me - they didn't notice it at first and I wasn't about to volunteer the info. My parents blamed in on some kids playing pranks and had it fixed. I finally admitted it when I was an adult and they were like "yeah, we knew that". Damn! I stressed about it for years and they knew the whole time!

Jo314129
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn, Mom can keep a secret. (or a grudge?)

iSkyn3t
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Waiting for their wedding is too much

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Life is a complex bucket full of unknowns. You put your hand into the murky water, continuously wondering what you’ll find. Some days it’s a few golden coins; other times it’s a slimy electric eel that’s not too happy to be disturbed. Thing is, you can’t avoid shoving your hand in it, elbow-deep, as it is part of the human experience. 

Those said experiences can be very nicely summed up in 280 characters or less, as over 368 million monthly active users worldwide do so on a daily basis. Twitter is the place to be if you want to get immersed in chaos, but for those of us that can’t handle the extent of it, this social media page called “Tastefully Offensive” shares the most painfully relatable tweets out there. 

RELATED:
    #2

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    bushviper05 Report

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except for the whole genius / godfather of evolutionary theory thing.

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    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Darwin was a genius, but he also has serious mental health issues. His home life was quite tragic and unfortunately medical science was extremely primitive. Today he would probably be diagnosed with anxiety and depression, but at the time he was prescribed cold water therapy. Where he was subjected to buckets of ice cold water being poured over him to "cure" him.

    Earl Grey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He also suffered from a chronic digestive ailment that caused him to spend much of his time aboard the HMS Beagle doing this … 🤢🤮🤮🤮

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    Mabelbabel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He needed a duvet day (and some decent mental health support because the poor chap was plagued with depression and anxiety for years)

    Owen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was being totally honest and I love him.

    Mona Stevenson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Serious teenage vibes there, Mr. D.

    James Perry
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    can a person be a spirit animal?

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    #3

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The more and more I read to my son the more I realize I need to learn to talk. Archipelago was one of the recent ones

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my life. I know so many words from a lifetime of reading that I have NO IDEA how to say out loud, and that I will make an a*s out of myself the first time I try to pronounce them XD

    Limey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read something once that stuck with me. “Don’t make fun of someone who mispronounces words. It means they learned them by reading.”

    nuberiffic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or they learned it by hearing someone else say it.

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    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use Google Search to hear audio clips of pronunciation for new words. 😁😂

    JoJo Anisko
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On Windows Internet Explorer, you used to be able to type pronounce ________ and it would.

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    Natalia Linnik
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On Apple devices select the word and click “Speak” in the pop up menu. I’m not a native speaker, use it quite often. To activate it go to Settings  > Accessibility > Spoken Content > Speak Selection

    respulero
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what frustrates me the most about English. In Spanish you know how to pronounce all the words you read even if you have never heard them

    g90814
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English is a very difficult language to learn, so many odd rules (and I say this as a native speaker).

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    Foxinamug
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a website called YouGlish that can help with this! You type in a word and it returns chunks of YouTube videos where the word is said. You can filter for UK or US English, too (don't think it's got Australian or Canadian yet though).

    Bec
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know how you are supposed to pronounce it but my brain always insists it is epi-tome when I read it.

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    Mary Hiers
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The day I learned that "Quixotic" is pronounced phonetically was a life-changing day.

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    The page’s slogan is “The True Memeing Of Life.” But what is it actually like to be a human? What is the purpose of it all? Is there a purpose at all to be sat in front of your glowy screen, using your hands to swipe across a bit of glass for hours on end, just to get a hit of happiness? Lots of questions, and I don’t know if we’ll find any answers, but let’s try!

    The “human condition” can be defined as the features and key events of human life, including birth, learning, emotion, aspiration, morality, conflict, and death. Sometimes it is even referred to as the meaning of life, and, not surprisingly, this topic has intrigued and perplexed the minds of philosophers, religious figures, and scientists alike. 

    #4

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    itsnashflynn Report

    Tweaked
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a good idea. I'd have prevented a lot of social awkwardness if my eyebrows weren't so judgementally animated.

    Miriam L
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Judgementally animated" I love that phrasing!

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    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And for this reason, I miss mandated masks....

    Serial pacifist
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Such an unlikely commercial for botox. Botox: follow your brain, not your emotions.

    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought I had a good poker face but my toddler will do something mildly facepalm then immediately ask me "daddy why you make that face?"

    Earthquake903
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been seriously thinking of doing this, even called a plastic surgeon office and asked if they could make me have permanent "pleasant countenance". My RBF is SEVERE! I started responding to people who told me to smile that I Am Smiling! And if it's not good enough for you, you can pay for me to get a face transplant because I'm doing the best I can with what I got! I may be a bit dramatic...

    V
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to work retail but I got so many complaints for talking angrily to customers and team members. But I was just talking in my normal speaking voice...

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    Tilly
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a facially expressive person I get this. Lol

    Dina Anastasakos
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do they have botox to stop eye rolls. Asking for a friend.

    Scott Kasnik
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg I need this. If only they had Botox for the brain/mouth filter to delay comments

    MurderMittens
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I need this!!! I get in so much trouble with my husband over Micro expressions.

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    #5

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Helena
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ditto. Italy or france

    The Darkest Timeline
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Living in a village in Greece now is a lot different than it was 50 years ago.

    James016
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Complete the circle. It is your future

    rob
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can relate so much. The dream is just live somewhere alone on a farm with a bunch of animals.

    John L
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can relate. My parents immigrated here (US) and got naturalized in the 50's. After the turn of the century, my mother told me she wished now, she'd never immigrated. I'm in agreement.

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not just any village though. Ikaria island which is one of the 5 blue zones in the world!

    Jane Cortez
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend of mine did this. Came to Canada, lived here for a number of years and said, ‘It’s better in Greece,’ 20, sunny, fresh vegetables for 1/4 of the price….. No more rat race. An oft repeated refrain I head is: In North America people live to work, in -.-.- - people work to live…. Apologies for all the edits, hard to type with arthritis…

    Linda T
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love your message, though. No need to apologize.

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    HoneyBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll stay in the good ol' USA. I'm not ready for pogroms in my grandparents' village in Ukraine.

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    #6

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    staphwriter Report

    HelluvaHedgehogAlien
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will use this reason sometime in the future…

    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They go from perfectly ripe to rotten in about the span of a drive home

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    Mickysixxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never go to after work plans. It's not that I hate my colleagues it's just I've had enough of them come the end of the day and just want to go home to my family

    DuchessDegu
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just wanted to get away from them after 8-9 hours, even if it was to sit on the train by myself!

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    Adam Zad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Avocados: No... No... No... Not yet... Not yet... NOW! NOW! EAT ME NOW!! Too late.

    SCP 4666
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So they have to be home in like 3 seconds?

    Chris Hooley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, they're running at AU$3.60ea atm, so.....yeah.

    EMRS
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is nothing wrong, very solid reason to rush home after work.

    John L
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey...have you seen avocado prices?!?!?

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    Buddhism teaches that existence is a perpetual cycle of suffering, death, and rebirth from which humans can be liberated via the Noble Eightfold Path. Meanwhile, many Christians believe that humans are born in a sinful condition and are doomed in the afterlife unless they receive salvation through Jesus Christ.

    Philosophers have provided many perspectives on the meaning of life. Many know of René Descartes’ quote, “I think, therefore I am.” He believed the human mind, particularly its faculty of reason, to be the primary determiner of truth. One modern school, existentialism, attempts to resolve an individual’s sense of disorientation and confusion in a universe believed to be absurd. 

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    #7

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    Adamhill1212 Report

    BoredPandaSucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THIS......IS.........WHAT....I..HAVE ...BEEN SAYING FOREVER!

    Domo KO
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what I told my therapist when I first started seeing her. I don't think I have a chemical imbalance in my brain so much as a s****y upbringing in a s****y world

    mark glass
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The imbalance is not chemical and it's surrounding all sentient beings.

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    Steve Robert
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    With everything going on in this world, if I didn't feel depressed, then something is definitely wrong with me!

    Leigh
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friend says you can't be sane in an insane world

    ravn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depression, anxiety, and paranoia are not markers for mental illness, they are indicators of superior intelligence.

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooooh, as a psychologist, l felt that in my soul. Need way more than medication to fix that

    raincloud the whalien
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's my nihilism. I'm not usually depressed, I just take stark but appropriate points of view on things and amn't afraid (dumb texas/england slang courtesy of my bizarre cousin) to share it

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    #8

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    I think I’m hilarious
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Netflix movies need to make more sense while I’m scrolling on my phone and not actually paying attention

    RafCo (he/him)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife requires that I pay attention so I can explain who the characters are and what's going on at any moment. This is a duty that I do not take too seriously, and often make stuff up to see just how much she's really missed. Frodo got the ring from Bilbo because they're in love, but MiddleEarth doesn't accept their relationship so to prove himself, Frodo has to get permission to marry from Sauron. Ian McKellen is trying to help him out, and Gimli and Legolas want this to work out too so they can also get their union blessed by Elrond. The white wizard is an allegory for old white men in general which is why he's trying to stop them.

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    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or that has a message that pops up between the 12 episode marathon you are on saying "Don't you have work tomorrow?"

    Jen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    While on the topic of Netflix they need to stop making shows and cancelling after one season! RIP 1899

    Maggie Hood
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Netflix should tell me to get up and stretch and move around for a few minutes before playing again. Between episodes of course. And I should be able to turn the function on and off so if I get annoyed by it I can always cancel it. But it would be a good tool for me I think

    Mike Fitzpatrick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or YouTube! This suddenly began happening a couple of weeks ago. Dammit, I chose a 2 hour mix of Doomer music, of COURSE I'm still listening at the 45 minute mark! Go torment someone else.

    BeepBeepBoopBoop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you can change that in your settings! just click on your profile, then settings, then to general. It's the top one, "remind me to take a break". You can turn it off, or you can customize the time, like every five hours or something, by turning it off then back on

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    That One Quiet Kid
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will die watching Raising Dion before switching the laundry over

    SCamp
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ‘switched the laundry over’ - help me out, what does that mean?

    VikingAbroad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I haven't, but you reminded me! I'll do it ASAP, or maybe in five minutes time...

    Lunar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same like youtube. Dunno who tf so 'smart' put in the program when after a while videos pause and pop-up asking if I am still watching 🙄

    elcee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and the channel that asks you and then gives you only 2 seconds to respond can go suck it

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    #9

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    MolloWop Report

    Hotdogking
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I swear those kind of people hover their hands over the horn the moment they stop at a red light. It’s the only explanation for how quick the blow it the moment the light goes green

    Raymond Core
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they do that to me, I put my car in park and get out to inspect the rear end. I assume they are trying to let me know something is wrong. Sometimes they yell at me when I do that.

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    LH25
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And around where I live, you need to take a second or two to make sure no one is going to run the just-turned red light going the other way. There is one light that I can count on at least 3 cars still turning left after my light has turned green

    Gail
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don’t honk immediately but also please don’t waste a green light. The lights in my town last about three seconds.

    Devon Archer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One time my horn broke and it was rush hour in Vegas and it would just blare every seven seconds or so. I sort of sunk down into my seat and tried to apologize with insane hand gestures. Made it out alive barely.

    Bec
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Little car that's driver felt it was necessary to pass me despite the double yellow lines as I had slowed to near the speed limit since it is a residential area on the highway, I hope gaining 0.72 seconds by being 1 car closer to the stoplight, which we all had to stop at just moments later, was truly worth it.

    Indosidius
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When someone does that, I purposely drop the clutch to fast to make the car stall. And then "raise my hands in desperation"....

    Stephanie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got pulled over for road rage when I put my hands up after a car slammed their brakes wildly after seeing said cop in a speed trap. I was the one going the speed limit. I wasn't even mad, just thinking.... typical

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    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I, on the other hand, don't use my horn very often and apologize to other drivers as if they could hear me. SMH

    BWC
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Recently I took a defensive driving course. The instructor said that most accidents at intersections occur when someone runs a red light so he recommended waiting a few seconds before proceeding on green. To ward off the pending honks he takes his foot off of the brakes so his brake lights turn off but still waits a few seconds before hitting the gas.

    The Other Other White Meat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love the ones who aggressively pass you, only to end up at the same light as you...

    John Anderson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, me being 25 cars from the intersection and somebody behind me immediately honks when the light turns green. Really?

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    Perhaps more fundamental concepts summarize the more universal aspects of the human condition: 1. An awareness of the inevitability of suffering and death, 2. An understanding of evil and sin, and 3. The recognition of an intelligent being who intervenes in human affairs. 

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    The more we grow, the more of these we realize, as well as the absolute fact of how fragile life is. There is, inherent in the human condition, an uneasiness as we search for peace and calm. As William James says, “There is something wrong about us as we naturally stand.” Material possessions, no matter how plentiful, cannot make us happy, and thus, we search for more. 

    #10

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn't do any. I stay home

    EMRS
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No! I'll just tell them I have an emergensy at home - an avocado is about to go bad!

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't even go to parties! Problem solved!

    DotC
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    do social people a favor and tell us you dont want to be our friend. dont answer the call/text/email/invitation on socials. dont say yes. dont go.

    Fitz_N_Fartz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to go to parties, that long ago I have forgotten about them....

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    #11

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    jessecase Report

    EvilNob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When kiss of Poseidon turns into kiss of Elsa.

    indiecognition
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then: burning bush. Now: brr-ing tush.

    LozzieB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've given myself asthma from laughing so hard!! Such simple text, and yet the image is crystal clear...excuse me while I go find my inhaler!!

    Pansexual Child of Hades
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poseidon teamed up with boreas just to spite a mortal, i see

    EmbersAreOut
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I LOVE YOUR USERNAME!!!! I am also a pansexual child of hades! Do you like the Percy Jackson Books?

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    Rostit .
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I bought a special extension cord just to run the bidet off a generator and it is always plugged into a UPS. Bidet is life.

    V Martinez
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bidets are the second best thing in the world! After Betty White, of course. I miss her, this month of her birth. All hail Betty White & the bidets!

    Karen Philpott
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just like sitting on cold porcelain late at night with minimal lighting, after a person has left the seat up.

    Phobrek
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use a cold water bidet. On the coldest days here in New England, it's not very pleasant, but if we lost heat in the house, it would be a punishing experience

    Phobrek
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I should add: everyone should have some type of bidet fixture. They can be super-cheap and they're way more hygienic than just using toilet paper. Once I started using one, I knew I'd never go back, and was like "why aren't these the norm?!"

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    Maggie Hood
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep forgetting to install my bidet that I got

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    #12

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    Loretta
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a Hungarian, I can confirm that we've NEVER heard this joke before...

    SobyKay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Going to use this to p**s off all my friends who hate dry jokes 😂

    Mickysixxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahahaha my Dad's favourite comeback to kids saying "I'm hungry" was "I'm Austria country nextdoor" I now use this against my own kids lol

    Steve Robert
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I call my indigestion Russia because it's always attacking my stomach for no reason

    Manic Mama
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I laughed way to hard at this. And I'm gonna steal it too.

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    On the other side of the same coin, we have nihilism, a philosophy that rejects generally accepted or fundamental aspects of human existence, such as objective truth, knowledge, morality, values, or meaning. Essentially, life is meaningless, human values are baseless, and knowledge is impossible. 

    It is often associated with extreme pessimism and a radical skepticism that condemns existence. Among philosophers, Friedrich Nietzsche is most often associated with nihilism. For Nietzsche, there is no objective order or structure in the world except what we give it. 

    A common thread in the literature of the existentialists is coping with the emotional anguish arising from our confrontation with nothingness, and they expended great energy responding to the question of whether surviving it was possible. Passionate commitment, be it to conquest, creation, or whatever, is itself meaningless. Welcome to nihilism.

    #13

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    RiadhEgan Report

    Ryan Winters
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then forgetting that and putting it in the sink where it promptly gets something nasty on it

    Bored&InSchool
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    which is the equivelent of getting a half inch of snow.

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    ravn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I haven't measured something oily or greasy, they get a quick rinse and wipe and go back in the cupboard.

    RafCo (he/him)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's finding $20 in the pocket of a coat you haven't worn since last winter.

    Greg Wilhelm
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I grew up in Florida so never saw snow or had a "snow day". Now I'm an arborist in Denver, CO and get quite a few every year. I get to drop the kids at school and play XBOX all day uninterrupted. It's awesome.

    v
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget dry ingredients! Knock that little bit of dust out and it's good as clean.

    HellyHacka
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me 3 mins ago. Deeply satisfying.

    Lili Octopus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it was milk I give it a quick rinse, check no one is watching, then set it to dry on the drainer

    Jess Baldo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same except idc if anyone is watching. They aren't cuz I live alone but still lol

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    Tall Tomatoe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    or just using flower or sugar and you get all out perfectly.

    Sarah SH
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a teacher, I can tell you we’re just as (if not more) excited for snow days than the students are.

    Satan Laughs
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the busy parents collectively felt bad for themselves because it’s SO TRUE.

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    #14

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    LlamaInaTux Report

    Owen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't like the cinema any more. I always need to have a wee at some point, it's too loud, the snacks cost too much, it all costs too much, I can't pause it, the seats are uncomfortable and there are other people there.

    Chris Hooley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We should be friends. Electronically. From a distance.

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    zims
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the EMOTIONAL breaks, not the amount of time. Storytelling has a rhythm to it, in episodes it's condensed to 30-minute chunks, in movies it's stretched out across the whole thing.

    Powerful Katrinka
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The last movie I saw in a theatre was "O Brother Where Art Thou." The man sitting behind me had smuggled in a burrito, which he slowly ate throughout the film. It sounded exactly like oral sex. Never again.

    Firstname Lastname
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the ability to get up and pee, eat or stretch knowing that there is a good stopping point without feeling like you are interrupting.

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Years ago there used to be intermissions built in to very long movies. Some chirpy song like "🎶 Let's all go to the lobby! 🎶" would start playing to encourage people to buy more snacks.

    Powerful Katrinka
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And movie theatres had stage curtains that would enticingly open right before the movie started.

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    nbfresh
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I stopped liking going to the movies about 20 years ago, when Pirates of the Caribbean came out. Went to see it. Guy a couple of rows ahead had a newspaper on his lap, and I DID wonder why. As the movie started, he proceeded to take off his shirt. Then the newspaper started to move very rapidly on his lap. When my bf threw a gummy bear at him to get him to stop, he threatened to stab us and we had to be escorted out of the theater by security. I have always wondered what was the draw for wanking to that particular movie, and I've probably been to the theater twice or three times since then.

    CrazyCatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did YOU have to be escorted and not him?

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    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I totally agree, we just need to know that we have the option of getting up if needed.

    Satan Laughs
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have found my tribe. We may have undiagnosed ADHD.

    Z
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have never felt so seen.

    Nadine Bamberger
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel I can't concentrate on a movie, but I'll binge a whole 23 episodes season and read all the meta available about it, no problem.

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    #15

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    Crouching hippo hidden panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg me too! I’m always shocked and confused that it’s red. Maybe “vert verde” in other languages throws me off.

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same! I was adopted into a Mexican family and grew up hearing Spanish as often as I heard English. Knowing that "verde" means "green" DOES make me think "vermillion" should be a shade of green XD

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    Captain Kyra
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Chartreuse is it's opposite, it doesn't look like it sounds

    Rumina Io
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I came to say this! They need to swap!

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    Penny Fan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once had an argument with a car salesman where I tried to explain that no, "vertigo" was not a good name for that shade of green.

    NamiKoa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I keep thinking that too! Maybe because of vert and verde being green in other languages you just assume it's green times a million.

    Iampenny
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm proud to say that I have never had this problem, mainly because I had never heard of the colour vermillion before.

    Michael Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my goodness, that reminds me, the only reason I know this word is that way back in 7th grade I wrote a creative writing piece for English class in which the gym teacher which we all hated was having a heart attack and "couldn't chase us past the vermillion lockers"... I just looked up a fancy word for red and that was what I found.

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    Uncanny
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s cos it makes you think of verdant.

    Telmo Belo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Vermelho is the Portuguese word for Red, so i never thought the rest of the world would get this confusion...

    Astrius
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s "ver". In several latin languages, ver is the root of green. For example, in French, we say vert.

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because Verde is green in Spanish. And I agree with you 100%.

    Guinevere89
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And vert is green in French which is why I think of it. Agree with your agreement.

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    The question of our existence is complex and multifaceted, as one would expect such a question to be—wherever you look, there will be a theory as to what your life should aspire to be, or not be. So choose one and run with it. At the end of the day, we can live another day for some juicy Twitter content and good laughs with a cup of coffee. 

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    As you continue scrolling through this list, make sure you upvote your favorites, leave some comments along the way, and make sure to have a day full of happiness! 'Til the next one! 

    #16

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    MNateShyamalan Report

    I think I’m hilarious
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then the parking tickets come up to $359

    Snorkeldorf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I took the bus, but they did give us bus passes. Weather was lousy and it was a long walk to the court house though.

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    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about this: jury duty is wild. Ordinary women and men decide on whether or not other ordinary women and men should be punished for crimes they are accused of. Whereas in most other countries, these decisions are made by individual magistrates and there are no such things as defense lawyers. It's nice to live in a place where "the government" is us.

    Alexandra Davis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jury duty is a thing in other countries, mainly commonwealth countries who kept the idea on after British rule ended.

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    John L
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Talk about not adjusting for inflation, for two hundred years!

    g90814
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    tbh, many US companies will pay you normally for jury duty, so you're not penalized financially.

    Zephyr343
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Easiest way to get out is if you own a small business, and you say that the time away would be a detriment to the company

    Celia T
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Judge told me it was not enough to get me out pf jury duty. I was the only one operating my shop….

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    Rumina Io
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've only been called up once. Nearly 2 weeks in the waiting room, then on the 2nd Thursday sent to the courtroom. The victim was my old security guard at work, so i was biased and couldn't continue. They sent me home a day early, wahoo!

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lose £100 a day pay to get £50 yay

    Two_rolling_black_eyes
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then vote to increase juror's pay. Its supposed to be enough to avoid a financial burden. If it's not, then we are failing in the other burden of being a citizen in a democracy to ensure we find our government to fulfill functions too big for one person.

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    Leigh
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The US has bugged me not once but twice about jury duty! Last time was during the pandemic and I told them that as an asthmatic I can't handle wearing a face mask.

    Bi-Polar Express
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How is this not higher? I have been on 5 juries. Only one was a murder, but still.

    Frank S
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jury Duty should be paid at min wage, 8 hours per day. Still not enough, but better than what they do pay. And get outta here with your civic duty argument!

    Tree P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I was paid, paid for my parking. My job paid me for the day, though.

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    #17

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    Rocke-Road
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guys, here me out... Cereal tasting

    heather7d@yahoo.com
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    😳 Genius! You have inspired me to set up an all-cereal buffet this weekend. Thank you!!!

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    Zee Fam
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would go this restaurant/event -- imagine a "soup flight" with 3 or 4 diff ones to try! Mini grilled cheese sammies included!

    Lunar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh i would love a soup tasting session 😋

    Alsoomse Catori
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This needs to happen. im a fan of soups and bread.

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That shall do to hide the word

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    #18

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    Hotdogking
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    PREACH! At this point we should get a petition going

    Cat Palmer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For some reason I read that as "we should get a portion going" and yes, that too.

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    JoeKeeryishot
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One time I went to this hole in the wall italian place with my parents and I ordered the three cheese ravioli. I thought it would be ravioli with three types of cheeses but it was three cheese raviolis. I we still joke about it in my family.

    Heather Palmer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol, I expect the raviolis to be the size of my face if they want to dish out a whole 4 raviolis 😂

    VonBlade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most portions are tiny, except burgers which need a reticulated jaw to be able to even contemplate eating.

    BatPhace
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of my fav Italian places locally does 4 raviolis but they're like 1\4 lb raviolis. They're enormous lol

    Owen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I raise you 24 ravioli, pesto and parmigiano.

    Satan Laughs
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    4 raviolis! That’s the appetizer to the BOWL full of ravioli that’s coming out soon, right? Extra parm, please.

    Yali-girl with weird name
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate ravioli with a passion-there is something about the taste that doesn’t fit right with me and I don’t know what

    Rostit .
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if its not at least half a pound of pasta, you are wasting everyones time.

    elcee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    EVEN if they are "oversized"..!!!

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    #19

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    mayaexists
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thought this said cancer development at first

    Chris B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    4. I will get someone to organize a meeting to solve problems that wouldn't exist if we didn't have so many meetings

    Cat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like being included in meetings but it doesn't mean I actually want to go

    3 Owls In A Coat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just like parties. I absolutely definitely want to be invited but I don’t want to go.

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    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    #4. Oh $hi+, I'm supposed to lead the meeting?!? Time to look for a new job so I can go back to #1.

    Macy Kay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read this as “the three stages of cancer” and I’m not sure how but it was wild

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The older I get, the less I want to talk to people. I may not be the highest paid person in my company, but at least I don't have to sit in a board meeting for 3 hours on a Wednesday night! I'm quite happy being middle management if it means I don't have to pretend to be nice to visiting bigwigs either. :)

    LOL It's me
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We had a meeting at work then we were told we will receive an email containing the exact same things that were said in the meeting

    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    4 (if you become the boss): I need to force others to be in meetings now.

    BoredPandaSucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not me. I have NEVER wanted to be included in any meetings for any reason ever.

    Della
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me neither. Kept getting included, my input was always overridden, and then chastised for not participating. Erg.

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    InvincibleRodent
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. 2 is such a short period of time too, over in the span of maybe 2 meetings.

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    #20

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    Hotdogking
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aaaaaaaand there’s the existential crisis I mentioned in a previous comment. So if you’ll excuse me

    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    May I join you in the Existential Crisis Corner?

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    TheDemonicCat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dammit, everytime I come to bored panda they give me more reasons to think I'm depressed.

    Chuck Freiman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm retired so I DON'T have to take showers. 👍

    Ley Mason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And not having a job lol unfortunately someone still tells us when to do things

    A S
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just tell the kid that when you grow up a job makes you do all those things. Then let the actual depression set in, that you will continue to have to do these things until the day you die.

    Doug the Special one
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or explain the concept o having to actually go to work everyday.

    Melissa Hamed
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My question is who do they think is getting them up in the morning. I mean an adult is doing that correct?

    Herbert Strunk III
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I take it they think they'll find a house to live in that has a secret money tree too

    Gay-Trash-Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you eat junk food when your depressed? i don't eat. i haven't eaten a full meal in 2 weeks

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    #21

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    Uncanny
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds a lot more wholesome than when I google to see how many cast members are dead. Everyone dead = a bingo! Scull! (In my defence, I do watch a great many old b&w movies).

    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a lovely past time, Uncanny. I used to count the missing cats in the "lost pet" section of the newspaper's classifieds. I was a simple child.

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    The Blinking Duck
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do that DURING the movie. Wonder why I never know what's going on

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually press pause to google the cast

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eh, pause, do it when the movie has a slow moment, same really

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    Sweetie Dahling
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me it's usually to look up what I recognize the actors from. And while I'm on IMDB I read the movie trivia because I always need more useless facts to fill my brain with

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this too. Drives my partner nuts. "Hey, do you know that this actor was also in OtherMovie back in 2006?"

    C Cat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually do that without looking it up lol

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    Mystery Egg
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what I love about Amazon Prime is that if you wiggle the mouse, the names of the actors appears on screen. Saves so much time googling who they are before you start googling them, themselves.

    C Cat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the only thing I like about Prime Video

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    LeeAnne B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And how tall they are and what the movie cost to make vs box office nett and whether I thought it was a good deal for the investors and also if the actor was difficult to work with. I will then announce my findings. To my two cats if they're around.

    Doug Spearman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or what they look like naked. Umm my friend does that. Not me. Ever.

    Naesil 🇫🇮
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was about to comment, that everyone seems to have at least wholesome issues when watching stuff.. I see attractive person and I google to see if they have done nude scene before 😁

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    sofacushionfort
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is how I learned that the carhop in Happy Days was the granddaughter of George S. Kaufman. Learning new things prevents dementia, and I just don’t have the patience to do that with Sodoku.

    Rob Williams
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Post? I check out IMDb while I'm watching it!

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    #22

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    ElyKreimendahl Report

    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is it "let go" when I clearly haven't lost anything?

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not "Let yourself go." It's "DGAF what people think of me and tired of spending tons of money on make-up/clothes/gym memberships to look good while at the same time feeling uncomfortable outside my home. I can now spend the money on something I like while at the same time being able to sleep in instead of having to wake up before the sun, the roosters and God Himself to spend 1 hour in the gym and 1-2 hours in the bathroom trying to look perfect. Did I also mention that I get to eat whatever I want with no regrets because I still DGAF?"

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is one of the most satisfying rants it's been my pleasure to hear in a long time

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    Old Roadie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I blame it on gravity. Gravity is not my friend.

    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never hearing those words is one benefit to burning bridges.

    Seaweed Vibes
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel this. When I became disabled it wasn't something I chose to do and I think the other things that come with it need to be mentioned like the weight gain and stuff. I want from being fit to obese in a matter of a couple years. The medications I have to take have helped me gain weight I never wanted to gain.

    Kim Lorton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is just rearranged into a different position. You didn’t lose anything, you gained confidence and defiance at anyone who dares to make that comment to you!

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    #23

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    chunkbardey Report

    Chez2202
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you free to come and sort my house out now that you’ve finished your Spring cleaning?

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have cats. I'm really good about picking up rubber bands, hair ties, twist ties, string, anything else on the floor that could be eaten and become a "linear foreign body" vet emergency. Anything else stays laying on the floor for weeks though, can't be arsed to pick the rest of it up XD

    HellyHacka
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Going on holidays without your cats is so freeing because you don't have to do that, except you still do in case you 'get out of the habit' at home

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    Ace
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So relatable, Worst is when you need that rubber band and reach for it only to find that some feccker's moved it!"

    Rocke-Road
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Time to sit in the living room for 4 hours!

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have not achieved your household scientist certification until you have watched the debris / dust on your floor naturally migrate to the edges of hallways / walkways and mentally compared it to what happens to debris along a well used highway.

    Ann Dennis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ....or you can own Very Hairy Dogs. It all happens so much quicker. Hairy dogs with short legs are the best. everything goes directly to the sides, nothing in the middle.

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    Lee Banks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You've inspired me to get the earplugs out from under the desk. thank you.

    RandomFrog(He/They️‍️)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In a week your gonna need it, and have no idea where it went

    SuperChicken
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Talk about determination. I salute you.

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    #24

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dammit BP, now I'm never gonna hear this song without thinking of this!

    RagDollLali
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This will haunt me through all of next December 😂

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    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's like the other meme I saw "Domestic Housewife implies that there is such a thing as a Feral Housewife and now I have a new life goal."

    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone was hungry when writing those lyrics.

    ConstantlyJon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    question: does round yon virgin refer to Mary being pregnant? bc if so, that's hilarious. R O U N D

    crowspectre (he/they)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's me hi hello. Unholy child, very spicy and also chewy

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay, that made me laugh.

    all 4 paws
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You guys didn't know this?? 🙄🙄

    P.A.B.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m voting for this ♾️ amount of times because it should have been number 1. It also gets a trophy🏆… and a drink 🍹.

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    #25

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    elle91 Report

    Nat of Clan P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fun Fact: In the UK, they used to be called Opal Fruits until they changed it to Starburst. And Snickers was Marathon. Anyone else remember that?

    Mabelbabel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do. I remember Spangles, and Tooty Fruities, and Caramac bars. And Treets. The 70s was great for sweeties. Remember Flying Saucers and the way the rice paper would stick to the roof of your mouth?

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    Serial pacifist
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love cooking shows. Rarely do I recreate the show.

    Edda Kamphues
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not at all. I just did it today. And it does NOT involve oil!

    Yvette Desmarais
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How can ceviche not be acid enough? It's literally fish cooked by marinating it in citrus juice.

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    Mabelbabel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They used to be called Opal Fruits back in the olden days. I'm old enough to remember when Snickers were called Marathons. And I remember Spangles-I miss Spangles.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Though the best thing about Spangles was the name

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    Pansexual Child of Hades
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    was OP also eating them with cheeto fingers? asking 'cause a friend does the same...

    Alecto76
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Before making any comment about anyone's ceviche, I will need to call that previously mentioned pronunciation hot line

    Tim
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All of you pointing out that ceviche doesn't need oil are missing that Shannon is a terrible cook.

    Lollipop Girl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oily??? How can ceviche be oily?? It doesn’t require a DROP of oil!!! Wtf???

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a kid, I used to eat Starburst without removing the wrappers. I did it to weird out my friends. I thought I was the only one XD

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    #26

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    kaatiemxx Report

    Amanda Rose
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just did that tonight with my pupper!

    CrazyCatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same but with peanut butter. She was licking her mouth for about 3 minutes after lol

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    JoJo Anisko
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last package of ham I bought was very disappointing. As I was pulling out a slice to make a sandwich, I found the texture unusually soft. Then I noticed on the package "41% added water" ... Like wtf, I'm lucky I didn't have to pour it out of the package.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did it with crisps in the pub. And of course such crisps have half the calories of an unshared packet

    Green One
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    in my family if it is thinly sliced we call it "cat ham"

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should watch the YouTube videos of Penny the cat ! Ham is her favorite.

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    PigSquatch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did this 30 mins ago with my doggo and bacon. I get a bite he got two bites cause he is good boy

    Deta Rossiter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so it is actually normal everywhere

    Tall Tomatoe
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    do that with my cat but with tuna sandwitchs. You get a bite i get a bite. Every time i make one i have to share or she'll die. I stopped useing salt and pepper on the sandwitch because of this.

    Alexandra Nara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here with cheese.Was used to throw it over my shoulder and when I wasn't fast enough the cold nose of my dog on my back reminds me to move on. 3 months after his death still throwing cheese automatically over my shoulder just to see it lying on the floor- sad and lost like my heart. Damn I miss my rascal

    Rosie Red
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I gain weight, my dog gains weight.

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    #27

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You? Is it you at the mall? Because you kind of gave it away in the question.

    Seán Hannan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents never told me Santa's not real because my parents were not liars.

    Jeremy Evans
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    a random fat dude with a fake beard and a cheaply made red outfit?

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    #28

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    jordan_stratton Report

    HelluvaHedgehogAlien
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guys. I think I found my lost brethren JORDAN COME BACK THE TROOPS NEED YOU

    rob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can send a heart to politely end a conversation? In today's episode of things i totally missed.

    Tweaked
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *slaps a laughing emoji on you and socially disassociate for 3 weeks*

    Mickysixxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the meantime I'll shall just start giving the thumbs up mid conversation

    AliJanx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Well, I'll let you go..." best phrase ever.

    Kraneia The Dancing Dryad
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Heart stickers are good. Thumbs up ones are better 👍👍👍👍👍👍

    Gemma Boutique
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter said she wants to do this with but with big heart stickers and put them over Trump bumper stickers 🤣

    Fabiano Sousa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I Just imagine like this: I could place the sticker on his/her forehead and say "SIMBA", there is no conversation beyond this point.

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    #29

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    IAmChrisRamsey Report

    Courtney Roberts
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dealing with this right now. Grr.

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel you :( My ex always wondered why I didn't want to sleep in the same bed/room with him. He'd keep me awake when my bed was on the other side of the HOUSE with several closed doors between us. I had to use a white-noise machine cranked to maximum XD

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    Shark Lady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always the snorers that get to sleep first.

    No Name
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because they're exhausted from choking through poor quality sleep.

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    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just a reminder: Snoring is a symptom of sleep apnea and that kills people. Like Carrie Fisher. If someone is snoring loudly, they should get it checked out

    LH25
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll second this. I wouldn't give up my CPAP for anything. Before I'd snore but I wasn't really getting good sleep.

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    SobyKay
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha! Ive got a great story. My husband kept me from sleeping peacefully for the first 10 yrs of marriage with his kicking, wiggling, and rolling himself into a burrito with ALL the blankets, leaving me with none. Then out of the blue, Iast few years I started snoring SO LOUDLY he has to sleep in another room or it will keep him up all night. I like to think of it as my body taking revenge. Thanks, body! Now I sleep awesomely! 😂

    Mr. Toast
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    unless it is sleep apnoea which isn't fun...

    JoJo Anisko
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whenever my mother and I would travel, it was a race to see who would fall asleep first. We both snored, so it was "you snooze, you win".

    Kimberleia
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except it's not a lovely sleep, that's why we're snoring.

    Claire Elise
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother snored so bad, and was the lightest sleeper: it was this like chainsaw grinding and then this expulsion of breath, and it was arhythmic so it'd wake you up and you couldn't go back to sleep. But you couldn't turn on a reading light or go in the living room and watch TV with volume down because it'd wake her up, so you just had to lie there grinding your teeth. She never could figure out why we were all so tired all the time...

    Whitefox
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This Is my husband EVERY-SINGLE-NIGHT!

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    #30

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    dubstep4dads Report

    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People stopped getting lost at IKEA so now they have to find a new source of meat...

    Confused Capybara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the reason I clicked this article

    LongCoolWomanInABlackDress
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dunno.. sounds like a term of endearment to me.. but I love meatballs

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    #31

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Anon Ymous
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Currently ignoring a show on Netflix to scroll BP 😅

    Pansexual Child of Hades
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes, it's just like the TV is background noise to help us focus on something else

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s cuz we need voices OUTSIDE our head !

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    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I decided to reduce screen time by taking a break from ESO game. Instead filled the gap with MS casual games and more BP.

    Tall Tomatoe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    we all have that show you put on just so you can have something to watch when youre waiting for the page to load on youre phone.

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    With me it's my pc (old eyes that are no longer into small rectangular screens 😳).

    elcee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh god I was just thinking this yest "I'm going to put down my phone and concentrate on this show bc I've rewound it four or six times already and keep MISSING the important part!!!

    Gypsy Lee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG, same at this exact moment! A clear sign Netflix needs to up the game. 🥱

    Melissa Hamed
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What you can't multitask and be on your phone? You should try to be on your computer, your phone and your TV at once. That's the only way to live.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just ignoring the entire tv from reruns of Law&Order SVU. I get the basic gist. I perk up when they get the perp in cuffs otherwise…back to our regularly scheduled broadcast BP.

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    #32

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    D_Kauf11 Report

    Sarah
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In German, it's brutal [Brutto (Gross)] to see what you could've earned!

    Lizz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Idem in Belgium... And for an English pun:"it grosses me out to see what the government takes in taxes"

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For low-pay workers the total amount of your pay would be disgusting even if you got to keep it all.

    Steve Robert
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's really gross is how much they pay the CEO and how much they pay you

    The Darkest Timeline
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just think: right now, the republicans want to give you your entire pay but then have a 30% sales tax. Would you like that better?

    AwesomeLeoWife
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. Because between Medicare tax, Social Security taxes, Sales taxes, Income tax, Property tax, etc. what we are paying now equals more than 30%.

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    Xenon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I cursed really loudly when I saw how much taxes were taken out of my paycheck and startled the hell out of my husband. "What's wrong??" F*****g taxes, that's what.

    Page intentially left blank
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just got my W-2. I thought: "No f-ing way did I make that much - I'm still broke!"

    Annnnd We’re Officially In Reverse
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then with that net pay you get pay sales tax, property tax, school tax...

    Mia Black
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but it is logical. Taxes on salaries are (ideally) used to build, maintain and improve infrastructure that benefits the community (roads, medical care, education, environment, etc.). Taxes for property, car and other are very individual expenses and must be treated individually.

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    Brandy P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a comedian I like said, "We're the government. All we do is take."

    Barbra E. Nyberg
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People marveling over the language similarity (brutto, etc). Your languages were all influenced by the Roman Empire. I'm american, and know that. How do you not?

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think if they’re gonna take a big chonk outta my pay, then I should have some say. Wouldn’t it be nice if WE actually approved line item by item each month where the money goes ? “I’m sorry, you spent how much on a hammer? Do you not know what a hardware store is ? I WANT A RECEIPT!” Lol

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    #33

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    the shrimp whisperer
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    unhappy bday to you, you cLEVER BASTARD /j

    Pensive_Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Happy Birthday. And BTW, how old are you this year?

    Pensive_Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Regardless, I hope you have a very wonderful year. Be glad you are alive & can celebrate. My twin sons, age 23,just lost their best friend. He wold have turned 23 this month. So tragic. Enjoy life, but be careful. 🎂

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    J
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where's the party? I want cake!

    Thatkamloopsguy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have worked at the same place for 20 years and no one knows when my birthday is. And I love it.

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    #34

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Tess
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This actually sounds like an excellent idea. Trying to make my brain work like everyone else who is supposedly functional has clearly not worked.

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you are becoming a MAGA Republican then?

    Maggie Hood
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Man come on I'm not on BP to hear about politics lol

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    mark glass
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Watch out for when it stops being a choice.

    Jasper
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Abruptly realized that is exactly what I've been doing thus far this year.

    Alya
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly same. I'm gonna allow myself to think I have a chance with the pretty girl in my class. She remembered my name and initiated conversations so that means she likes me right?

    ConstantlyJon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ah, so this is what everyone decided to do at the same time. world makes a lot more sense now.

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    #35

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Lizz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did anyone see "The glass onion"?

    Jihana
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did. It's ok. Not a bad movie, and actually funnier than the first one. It lacks the atmosphere of the first movie though.

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    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Remember kids, if you do something exceptionally weird, you will become immortal

    pink_panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's probably easier than doing something incredible.

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    Tall Tomatoe
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *nom* could use some salt *nom*

    Rocke-Road
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gain 75+ HP, and eternal remembrance.

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm looking forward to that moment!

    Steve Robert
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something tells me she's been eaten before. Why do you think she's smiling like that?

    Melissa Johnson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God never forgets anything about me but my sins.

    Robert Craig
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not true,kids doing tombstone rubbings with charcoal in art class will think about you once more.

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    #36

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Rocke-Road
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yo guys, I found this cool glitch. I hope the Earth devs don't patch it soon

    Mona Stevenson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Air travel civility continues to find new depths to plumb. Just when I think I’ve seen it all, some people manage to do things that are so awful, gross and weird that I begin to wonder how they managed to live that long, and how the h*ll they can afford fly.

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Airlines: collect people in crowded pens, give them booze, then torture them. Act surprised when they go nuts, then repeat. I cannot think of a better way to design a system to make people go crazy at the service people.

    John Saunders
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Before Covid I took South Africa Airlines to Jburg. A 15 hour non stop flight with 300 people. They provide free booze on board to all passengers - not just first/business class. What could go wrong?

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    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Demand to speak to the manager. Low level employees can't authorize it.

    A B C the Third
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Demand on the top of your lungs though, low level employees tend to hear badly and only understand you after the third (VERY LOUD!) time you demand something.

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    John L
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to fly business class for work and every time there would be a cancellation/significant delay, the counter agent would play a whisper game with me, putting me on an immediate similar flight. You fly coach, they don't care about you.

    bagels and beagles
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmm, I wonder why they say ‘Prison Transport’ on the side….

    Lizz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or have a lot of money. Idem with Eurostar

    elcee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is me when I need a sooner drs appt. don't TELL me you are booked up, I KNOW you have saved appointments for urgent calls!!!

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    #37

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    bigbodybae Report

    Mohsie Supposie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not really. The price of eating out is going up just as much.

    Michael Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is true. What seems to be more the case is that it costs almost as much to eat a "meal" at a fast food place as nicer place.

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    ƒιѕн
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can get a take out burger for a few bucks. I can go to the grocery store and buy what I need to make burgers at home, but by the time I get to the checkout my cart is some how full and cost me a few hundred bucks. That takeout burger is way cheaper.

    Evolbeky
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every time! I need to start wearing blinders like they put on horses to keep myself focused

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    Ozzyols
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a single person I agree. Cook extra and store it for later??? I’m sorry but I don’t want to be eating the same 6 meals for the next month!

    Mike Fitzpatrick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a retiree I suggest buying family packs of everything and breaking it down into single packs. Then you can laugh when chicken is $3 lb. when you got your family pack at $1.89!

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    Ovata Acronicta
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was beginning to plan on rice/beans and eggs but egg prices went up so much it isn't even feasible anymore. I think the only solution is instant ramen and a multivitamin.

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's well worth growing your own veggies. Glad I'm a vegetarian. Meat is so expensive nowadays.

    Mystery Egg
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd love to do that but I have a very powerful murderous stare. I try to grow plants but if I look at them, they die.

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    ConstantlyJon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my currently overdrafted bank account would like a word

    Donna Trudeau
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always pick groceries, i don`t know WHAT restaurants put in my food.

    Beachbum
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree, the price of lunchmeat has gotten ridicously expensive

    Lopez, Laura
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you have to learn how to budget and where to shop. Take the advice of your grandma and comb through the coupons. And remember, ingredients may cost more, but it makes a meal with days of leftovers whereas a restaurant meal could maybe get you a tiny portion extra to take home. Shop at the international stores, they're cheaper. shop around, buy meats from a butcher not the grocery store, they're better for you, better quality, fresher and cheaper. Learn how to reuse ingredients. You see carrots on sale this week? Make a soup one night and a pot roast another night the same week and use up those carrots. You don't need to waste your money in god awful store bought bread. Bread is so easy to make in a loaf pan, even easier if you invest in a bread maker. My family and extended family went away this weekend and my parents spent probably $50 on enough bagels, biscuits, rolls, and bread for all 9 of us. I easily couldve made all that with the eggs, yeast, and flour already in my kitchen

    Tristan J
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can speak for everyone in the UK to say a butcher undercutting a supermarket does not exist here.

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    Jay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depends on where you shop. 140 bucks @ Aldi feeds two adult men in our house for at least a week. More if we're doing something in the crock pot. Chinese for two? 40 bucks easily. A large pizza? 30 bucks.

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    #38

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    RachelMComedy Report

    I think I’m hilarious
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It tastes better straight out of the bucket. When it’s still hard. With a fork.

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a kid, my dad would scoop ice cream into a bowl and microwave it. That man gave no fugs about what anyone else in the family thought about him XD He was my hero.

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    John L
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the worst part of being an adult is being able to have your own ice cream....anytime you want.

    Brian Droste
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or drink out of a milk container or something like that and not have to dirty a glass or cup if you don't want to.

    Tall Tomatoe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i love to drink chocalate icecream. its so good!

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never done that. I always use a bowl, even when it's just me in the house.

    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only as long as it has coffee flavoring involved. Otherwise those creatures I gave life to get into it first...

    elcee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YES! i hate it out of a bowl!!

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every Friday I go to Dari Mart and get 2 pints of Lochmead Salted Caramel ice cream for my husband (Fri & Sat nights only)/ The lady tells me, you know for the same price you can get a whole half gallon. I said, I know. But this is portion control.

    Terra Raizor
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I bought so much dino oatmeal when I got my first paycheck. Was never allowed to have, because it had too much sugar

    Dip thong
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was single, I ate over the sink. I miss eating over the sink!

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    #39

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    hoopgoth Report

    Sebby's Mama
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd think after 3 weeks the cake would be quite inedible

    Susan Bosse
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what I was thinking. No matter how well you wrap it, I wouldn't think any cake past 5-7 days would be fresh enough to enjoy on a continual basis. To each their own! ;)

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    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's some damn good self control.

    Chris Hooley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hell yes! I first read it as "eats a whole cake in 3 bites," then I got to the 3 weeks bit and had to do a retake.

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    Passerby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like that word "replacement cake". Yum!

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shout out to the bakery with cakes that are still edible after 3 weeks.

    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did anyone else try to do that math? Is it 3 big bites in one day, per week, over 3 weeks? Or, is it 3 normal bites, over any given time in that 3 week period?

    Green One
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    depends on the size of the cake.. could be a 5 tier weeding cake

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    all 4 paws
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wanna be like her one day

    The Other Other White Meat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have a brewery, where if your personalized mug is hanging on the wall above the taps, you are a regular. There are probably 50 mugs hanging.

    Lunar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't really get this, can someone please explain 🤔

    CrazyCatLady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She slowly eats the cake and when she runs out she gets more. She gets cake so often the shop put a picture of her on the wall.

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    #40

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    adhdjesse Report

    Dan Padgett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah... Isn't that normal? It is right?..... Right?!

    Hotdogking
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah it’s normal. If it wasn’t I’d need to have yet another existential crisis. I’ve had enough of those

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    I think I’m hilarious
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    [Doing things I’m good at] arrgh that minute detail wasn’t perfect, guess I suck at this too

    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even when I do something I'm good at, I don't think itt's good enough.

    Edurne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the exact opposite :,) if I do it well, I'm awesome at it and the best in the universe.. if I do it wrong, oh well I failed with class and it was the best fail xD

    Alya
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's an awesome mentality :) I'm happy you have that! (Genuinely)

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    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like to remember God's math, as stated in the 10 Commandments: He punishes those who stray from Him for 3 or 4 generations, but He rewards those who keep the covenant with Him for 1000 generations. Whether or not you believe in the biblical deity, it's a good reminder of how strongly we should emphasize our negatives vs. our positives.

    Alya
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah 😔😔 I automatically assume if I can do it it's something everyone can do and comes naturally to everyone.

    Donna Trudeau
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That`s because you joined a club and beat yourself with it. Stop. We all begin by sucking at it.

    Tyler
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm in this photo and I don't like it

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    #41

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Hotdogking
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And don’t get me started on those moments when it’s just like: I’m very sore right now. Me: what, why? My body: 🤷

    Hat And Tie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your body knows, it just doesn't feel like telling you.

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    JoJoB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And how about a migraine for good measure!

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Old age is this - except also everything takes longer to heal. Got a bruise or a strained muscle? Enjoy that for two weeks instead of 2-3 days.

    Cthulhu Kitty
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our bodies are the most miraculous and the most disgusting and disorganized thing at the same time

    Maltaros
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's your bodies way of telling you to stop doing whatever is making you stressed and sad. Too bad needing a paycheck means we have to do the things that make us stressed and sad.

    49 reasons
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "stop doing whatever is making you stressed and sad"? Uh, one of those things is the act of living...

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    Della
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alright, how about this? Menopause that lasts 10 years, complete with nuclear hot flashes. Why?? WHY???

    magix (they/them)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    me, only getting acne everywhere but my face :D

    Beachbum
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or enjoy this cold sore...Always get them when I am stressed

    the shrimp whisperer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    **ME AT NIGHT** my body: *random pain* my brain: oH SH1T WHY DOES THAT HURT WHY DOES THAT HURT *random adrenaline spike* me: WHAT IS HAPPENING AM I DYING OH MY F**KING GOD

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    #42

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    SealOfDisapproval
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the Savo region of Finland, this is called a kalakukko, which translates to fish-rooster. It's not really a pocket though, but a big loaf-sized rye bread filled with fish an pork.

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say karjalanpiirakka, perunapiirakka and vaatruska are closer to dumpling food in Finnish cuisine

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    EmbersAreOut
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pierogi are the Polish dough balls! I can physically live off of these delicious potato and farmers cheese dough balls. :)

    Scout Finch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All these comments have such beautiful names for the food. USA: hot pocket 🤦‍♀️

    Donna Trudeau
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here we call that Tourtiere! It's basically a heart attack in a pie crust

    Luke Branwen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kobliha in Czechia. A fried ball of dough filled with jam, Nutella or custard.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow ! Fried dough filled with Nutella ! That sounds like perfect state fair food.

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    CGZ
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stromboli. It's technically Italian-American, but everything here is [something]-American except jazz and BBQ. Those are American-American.

    John L
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of the sci-fi show Babylon 5. Two Narns sit down to eat. One marvels, 'you have "splooge", you had it shipped in from the home world?' "No, it is a human food...called Swedish meatballs. You know it appears all civilized sentients, have something similar to these Swedish meatballs. The universe is a mysterious place." ☺

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    #43

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    EvilNob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell us you are from the US without telling us you are from the US.

    Pink Aesthetic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For real. I've never even heard of sick days before the usa internet. In Finland, ny country, we go home when we feel sick. No payments or limited days

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    Dan Padgett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I enjoy the self delusion that "this job will be different, I will enjoy work this time".

    Mykidsartrocks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That 90 days where you are either immortal or you hide from everything.

    Annie 1973
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or how my daughter was due back at work a year after her 3rd child was born(12 months parental leave as the baby can't start daycare until they turn 1). Day before she was due to start the baby had a temperature, meaning that she wasn't allowed at daycare until her temperature was normal 2 days in a row. She was teething at the time. Her partner offered to stay home with the baby until she was well enough to go to daycare so my daughter started work. The whole day she was getting messages from him complaining how much the baby was crying until 1 hour before she was finishing work when he called her boss and said that he was taking the baby to see a doctor as there was obviously something wrong with her. Which meant my daughter had to leave work early, walk to the doctors surgery only to find that their daughter was absolutely fine, no fever. She ended up having to stay home from work for the next 2 days because he couldn't handle the baby.

    Zabroglexis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still stuck on the 12 month parental leave. My wife had 6 weeks, unpaid.

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    Maggie Hood
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah that doesn't work on me. I get sick really easily and it makes it pretty difficult to keep a job

    SlothyK8
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That used to be the case in my work life, but in 2014 I got a nightmare cold the day before I started a new job and that has happened every, single time since.

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probation period or not, if I'm sick, I'm sick.

    ReginaC
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes it's why I try to start a new job every 3 months OR will only accept part time work at c**p pay...my immunity is flabbergasting!!

    ReginaC
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    By the way craps is the name of a gambling game, it's not a naughty word!!

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    DC
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As if anyone had control over that. As if countries where this is taken into account were struggling for THAT reason... Hardly anybody "takes days off" by doctor. That's a plight, too.

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    #44

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my perfect ending. As such, not gonna happen...

    Jake B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try putting it in the company chat as a meme. Took 3 before they got it. I love retirement.

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    Con O Cuinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Didn't quit, but in some b******t meeting my boss asked what was wrong since I obviously looked miserable. I replied "I f*****g hate ducting." He just looked at me and said, " wtf am I meant to do about that? We fit ducting."

    Telmo Belo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once quit my job and my boss said "good for you. I'ma do the same soon."

    Duncan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My boss would never question that statement. He'd fully understand it lol

    The Other Other White Meat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always rehearse it in my mind this way... and the it comes out as an ode to the company and how "fortunate I felt" to have worked there.

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At my exit interview with my direct boss (CFO and I was the bookkeeper) from a job I absolutely loved, I spilled ALL the beans. His wife owned the company and was an complete shrew. I let him know that all of the employees were aware of her Vicodin addiction and that we called the month of September "divorce season" because every year about that time she'd have me give her copies of his AMEX bills and cell phone logs because she just "knew" he was cheating on her Most neurotic insecure whack job I'd ever know. I basically told him she was an unbearable b***h and I just couldn't work there anymore. The sad thing is he wasn't really surprised. (He actually divorced her less than a year later and got 1/2 the business). Gave me a glowing letter of recommendation, too.

    Anna Repp
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once quit a job I hated, went to a liquor store and got myself a bottle of Veuve Clicquot and the cashier was like "Oh, you are celebrating!" and I'm like "Yes, I quit my job!"

    Liz_RVA
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i said, "I don't need this c**p," and walked out. Best day of my life.

    ReginaC
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, what dreams are made if!!

    George Jones, Jr
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I quit a job once, when the boss asked why I was quitting, I told him I couldn't work for someone dumbber than I was.

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    #45

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    JoJo Anisko
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with the waiter.

    SuperChicken
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I, too, agree. I know many chefs put their own twists on a dish, and I appreciate that. But I read somewhere that, when that happens, it won't be the original dish intended. Best it be called a different one, instead.

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    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha my mother asked for chips with her dinner at a small restaurant in Vienna, the cook/owner came out and told her it had all the vegetables it needed with it, and no she couldn't have chips. I didn't dare catch my husband's eye or we'd have giggled immoderately

    Jay Son
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could be difficult. Greece is a Schengen country, so most chickens don't carry a passport anymore.

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    Cuppa tea?
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love the fact that in Europe waiters aren't afraid just said no to demanding customers.

    Andrew Dunford
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's because European Waiters are generally paid a decent wage and don't have to Constantly kiss their customer's R's in order to get tips!

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    Ace
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this sort of thing really accepted anywhere? I'm guessing they're from the US, but would you really be able to do this sort of sh1t there?

    ThatG
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well… a Greek salad in Greece is just a salad :p

    Snorkeldorf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a co worker ask for french dressing on her caesar salad.

    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I prefer it with gyro meat on top... Never thought about it this way though. Next time I can say " can you give me all the ingredients of a green salad except with gyro meat and grilled onions added on top, and don't forget both Greek dressing and tzatziki sauce on top.

    David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I buy a gyro and eat that with the Greek salad. Except roast lamb > chicken.

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You could have chicken *with* your salad though

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    #46

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    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Scp_049
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only time I even OPEN my emails is when I'm signing up for something, like making an account on a gaming website, and they send a verification email.

    PigSquatch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My problem is most people don't know how to write a damned email. Speak in a full sentence asshat I can't read your mind!!!!

    OnAFreakingRollercoaster
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm Laura 👋. If you need anything, DM me. Do not call, do not email, do not come to my door. DM ONLY!!

    Miocha
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Laura is like my coworkers.

    Pink kitty
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have to send a 'handover' email daily as per the boss's instructions. It drives me crazy that more often than not the boss and my co-workers don't even read it!

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    Melissa Hamed
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And Laura those emails never stop. I never could keep up with all the freaking work emails.

    ReginaC
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahahahahahahahahh my whole life is emails!!

    Alexandra Nara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    " I only like reading fiction. Get back to work mails when dragons and cats with special skills are involved"

    Doug the Special one
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't read these articles, I just look at the pretty pictures.

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    indiecognition
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depravity like that will take you down a rocky road

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hay up we won't be having any of that

    Jake B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the label is smiling

    B-flat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Funny to see a very Dutch name for a brand that is not available here in the Netherlands!

    Rose Button 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you didn't read this in a voice your lying

    Aimee Parrott
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Have you had Van Leeuwen ice cream. Van Leeuwwen can Get. It.

    Heather Palmer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This stuff is some good*ss icecream though

    Danielle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG! I just tried ice cream from that brand 2 days ago. It was terrible!

    Perfumista Perfumista
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What flavor did you have? The stuff I've had has been excellent. They also do the best dairy free ice cream around.

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    elcee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THIS IS MY FAAAAAAVORIIIIIIIITE ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!

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    #48

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    IsabelSteckel Report

    Little Wonder
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first aid officer at my last job was scared of blood, so I did all the blood stuff. Her answer to this question would have been a firm "maybe".

    ADHD McChick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How the héll did she manage to get that position, then? Well, I can think of a few ways. But I don't want to be downvoted to héll...

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    Kenny Kulbiski
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kinda depends. Do I like the victims? Do I even know the victims? Will it put me in danger or be inconvenient. Will it be messy? Make me late? Involve physical labor? If no to all these I'm the hero you're looking for.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My answer would be….does it involve me talking or touching people? No ? Then we good.

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    Riley Quinn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can say with full confidence that I'd be great on the Uh-oh Squad.

    Mrs. EW
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just read the bleep as salt and not bleep. Smdh

    Stephanie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You just lost your extra leg room in the emergency exit row on the plane, my friend.

    Herbert Strunk III
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We had first aid training at work, looking at movies. The other end of the weeks supervisor passed out cold when they showed a cut finger. It was hilarious.

    Kathi Firns-Hubert
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our school nurse could deal with scrapes, etc., but she'd get incredibly grossed out if you told any stories about your kids' injuries!

    My O My
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Willing? Hell yeah! Able? I think so?

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    #49

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    jasonmustian Report

    SheHulk
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What?! Is It January already?

    elcee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ha exactly, did u say "sometime january" or "january sometime"

    Louise P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Q1" gives more wiggle room

    ravn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate that time of year...

    OneHappyPuppy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooh I feel this... Now the phone calls are coming in and I'm dying inside...

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    #50

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    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love how his tied-back hair gets more and more discombobulated as the glasses builds go on XD

    Peppy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s a great word, discombobulated

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    No Name
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Top right. That's the only one that works

    AL
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Turn it side ways.. eyes are in the 3

    Michael Smith
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For some reason this made me wish I had gotten glasses like this for every new year since I was born... oh well, too late now!

    Gabe Halliday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    legend has it hes still trying to print those glasses looking for the right one

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    #51

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    tastefullyoffensive Report

    ravn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except for San Francisco..."415 eh? Will you take 1.5 million"?

    Vera Bean The Tire Ant Queen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like to send my husband houses that look like someone was murdered in them.

    Shine Chisholm
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "During the showing, I pointed out the leaking soil stack. My realtor asked theirs about it, and they responded by asking whether I planned on getting an inspection. Looks like a good deal, but it is not."

    Rosie Red
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Come to Vancouver. We can laugh at the million dollar crack shacks.

    Bored Trash Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw somewhere that zillow buys houses so they resell at a jacked up price.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And now Zillow has cutesy commercials with fun playful music. Ugh. Having fun with a house bought on Zillow as two adults frolic around and jump to their bed. Yeah buddy, that’s not working.

    Kitty Kat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love the Green brothers. DFTBA!

    Kate Jones
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Y E S is not even enough of an appropriate agreement. I would want that just to leave angry messages at people who post only 1 or no pictures, which I will never understand. Or if they are using the panorama wide lens on a room that is clearly 3 feet wide. You can't fool me with camera trickery, Josh. that's a closet not a 2nd bedroom.

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    #52

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    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Shark Lady
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know what you are getting with a Holiday Inn, Airbnb is too much of a gamble for me.

    Anon Ymous
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Airbnb has lived long enough to become the villain

    SuperChicken
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've heard horror stories from different people on how their reservation got cancelled the last minute - as in, they're at the location and the owners rented it to someone else; or, the place is in shambles, etc. We don't use it, and happy we don't.

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    Little Wonder
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AND you're not expected to deep clean the place when you leave!

    Michael Fernandez
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’d rather stay in places that are licensed, inspected, safe, have housekeeping staff and, at this point, noticeably less expensive than Airbnb.

    SobyKay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holiday Inn is our go-to. We've tried others, but Holiday Inn service & accommodation has been the most consistent overall. We have no desire to start the Airbnb game.....we too old and cranky for that now!

    KitKat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even if I have to pay a tad more, I'll choose a hotel or motel over Airbnb any day. I've read one too many horror stories about guests finding hidden cameras in their Airbnb room

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holiday Inn isn’t very nice though. Marriott or Hilton kinda give those vibes. Anywhere with room service really.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Room service is the big plus. If I can have cheese and crackers with a bottle of wine and NOT have to wash all the linens myself, that’s a big plus for me.

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    #53

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    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One time I was holding three of them and they all went off simultaneously and I may have panicked a little 😅

    Alya
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What? The coasters are outdated now?? I only first encountered them like 3-4 years ago

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn’t know they were gone either ! That was part of the fun of going to Red Lobster 🦞 to begin with!

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    KitKat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They probably switched to texting so they can get your phone number in order to send you annoying advertisements

    ADHD McChick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like the coasters better. They were souch more obvious. You couldn't miss when your table was ready. Unless the restaurant was at a mall, and you wandered too far away, while you were waiting, lol. But with texting, the texts don't always com through, you don't always hear your phone, etc. I guess I'm just old school. 🤷😂

    #54

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Mona Stevenson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmm. I usually feel resentment and impending boredom in those three minutes.

    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then I think oh I'll just do x real quick and I'm 3 minutes late

    April Caron
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s when I join early and see how many Bored Panda posts I can scroll through.

    Zephyr343
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or the awkward silence when you are with someone else in the zoom meeting you don't know and it's just heavy breathing and clearing your throat.

    #55

    Tastefully-Offensive-Tweets

    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Anon Ymous
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We take it as a challenge

    Queen Shay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Facts!! I love risking it all ice cream and cheese!!

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    Cat Palmer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's all fun and games until you have to abandon your groceries to sprint into the gents' bathroom because someone is in the only ladies' cubicle and the only other alternative is pooping on the supermarket floor. Not speaking from recent personal experience here, obviously...

    Vic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure.. sure.. so did you make all the way? Or did the situation escalate enroute?

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    deathrose
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You nor whatever God you believe in can keep me from the cheese

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother. She is VERY lactose intolerant, but will scarf down ice cream, whipped cream, cheese, butter, yogurt, EVERYTHING with lactose in it. Then she wonders why she is on the toilet 9 hours out of every day.

    Mikey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here, but the cheese was worth it.

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    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean other people around me treat mine pretty seriously

    Shine Chisholm
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a mother who had to carry her crying (and fecally leaking) child to the car because "it wasn't that much dairy," yes. Yes I do. Yes, the lunch room at school serves pink milk. No, you do not get to drink it.

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    JoJo Anisko
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had a friend who became intolerant of lactose post-bariatric surgery. She took it very, very seriously.

    Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was already lactose intolerant, then had bariatric surgery and it got considerably worse so now I take it extremely seriously.

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    Rostit .
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it depends on the food. I'll put up with being farty for a good pie.

    Moosy Girl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was little and puking after any encounter with dairy products our doctor told my parents to just give me more milk until I stopped getting sick from it. She didn’t believe in lactose intolerance. :p It… didn’t work.

    Pizzaking, village burner.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just want to be “sick” so I can stay home from school

    Mam cymraeg
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah like I'm lactose intolerant but imma just eat this whole tub of ice cream while sitting on the toilet see you tomorrow

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    #56

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    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Ace
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NOOooo! You have to say hello to everyone as you enter. That's how it works in Switzerland, at least. So civilised.

    Justin Trouble
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks for letting me know to avoid Switzerland.

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    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And first one on guards the button panel with their life. "I AM THE BUTTON KEEPER! YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Also...what floor?"

    Hobby Hopper
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    2 men take their place at the front of a crowded elevator. MAN 1: Sure I'll take your case, but why'd you do it? MAN 2: He kept staring at the back of my head.

    April Caron
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We piled into a smaller lift… and before the doors could close all the way… they were opening again and more people were piling in… we kept getting closer and closer and closer to each other… until the elevator was full and we were all crammed in. The doors finally closed. Bodies jostled and bumped into each other in the cramped quarters. And THAT was the moment my son-in-law blurted out, “I love you, guys!” And no one stopped laughing until the lift doors opened again. :)

    Shelley DuVal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It just takes one American to get into the elevator...

    Hollers
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best you get in America is awkward eye contact and maybe a nod of acknowledgment as you step inside

    Christof Irran
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, they don't stare at the wall, they stare at the closed elevator doors. So, the boss move would be to stand against and stare at the wall opposite the closed doors. It's not the easiest way of inspiring trust and confidence in you by all the other passengers, but...

    Alya
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've only been on an elevator with more than 4 people a couple times in my life and it's always a very weird experience

    ravn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My favorite game is to stand with my back to the door...facing everyone. On alternate days I will move to the back and stare at the wall.

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    #57

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    ChrisJBakke Report

    all 4 paws
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if next year were gonna be laughing at this or crying at this, i should set a reminder for myself lol

    Pink Aesthetic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glad we don't have tipping culture in my country :)

    onivdsrapowijap
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's great :) in some places waiters are paid barely anything by the restaurant so tipping is required

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    Fussy1
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holy $hit that's a latte money!!!

    Geoffrey Scott
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lot more than my C-Store $1.25 for a Colombian blend.. HAH!

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    Anon Ymous
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what living in a capitalist dystopia looks like

    Jay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ha ha, like I can afford coffee.

    Daria
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No problem for me. I can always make my coffee at home and take it with me in a thermos or tumbler.

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    #58

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    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a moment like this early in my career. Basically some guy came by and asked me what was going on. Went off about how messed up things were and how I was trying to fix it but no one would listen. Ended up getting promoted. Can guess who it was

    Alan Christensen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, if upper management wants to know what's really going on, ask the low level people, not the middle managers.

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    John L
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can relate. Unless I directly work with you, I won't know who you are and will forget your name. I always get a laugh, when my office mate tells me about someone else in the office and I go, "who?"

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or you can remember the time a poor unfortunate scam artist, pretending to be the IRS, called a man and threatened him with having the Sheriff come pick him up and arrest him for not paying his taxes....not realizing that the man he was threatening was, in fact, the County Sheriff.

    Rougarou Cher
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Working in an open floor plan office and the owner walked through on their way out and asked how it was going and there was a chorus of "good" and then one very loud, "BAD!" They did a double take and I was like yeah, we should have all been that honest.

    Nat of Clan P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was on work experience when I was about 16 and inadvertently asked the CEO who he was. Whoops.

    Alya
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This the plot of so many K-dramas

    Scrapiechick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just sums up my life perfectly

    #59

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    tastefullyoffensive Report

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been whispering "Phillip the Fish" to myself for the last several minutes trying to figure out what item it actually is... XD

    Chez2202
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He’s right isn’t he? That’s what I order every time I go?

    Margaret H
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, he was not wrong. Phillip of Fish, husband consort of Queenfish Elizabeth ll. Sadly now deceased and waiting for crumbing and final cremation at a McDonald's near you.

    T5n
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next fish that I get may be named Phil A. O’fish

    Confused Capybara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Philip the Fish" sounds like a Danish TV show for kids.

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    #60

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    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rawdog just creates such a vivid X X X picture in my head.

    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, "Now it's 15c's turn. Bend over, and grip the tray table in front of you."

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    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah I need a blanket, three devices, two books, a magazine, and pajamas

    Stardust she/her
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I usually can be alone with my thoughts. I can go so deep into them that I don’t know how much time has passed by so I guess this guy must’ve had the same thing happen to him

    Paula Pattison
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was picking my son up from the airport before Christmas. Some guy walked out of baggage claim with no coat, no luggage, just a small paper bag with the Harry Potter logo

    Kate Jones
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I started to get like this when I was travelling for work. You just get so tired of carrying stuff and getting it all together. So at one point I just had a carryon and maybe a tablet for reading but even that sometimes I didn't bring. It's less of a pain to just sit in my own imagination for those hours than trying not to break or lose anything.

    Delta Dawn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this guy is a parent of very young kids

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’d dump him and date Vegetable Lasagna for that.

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    LapCat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seinfeld is one of my favorite shows to ever exist

    Synsepalum
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Best sitcom ever. Suck it, Friends.

    Delta Dawn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    rewatched the whole series recently and genuinely laughed my a*s off

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So relatable too. And no emotional growth, no relationships that last longer than a couple weeks lol. I model my life after this.

    John L
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And yet doesn't follow the trope of a "normal" person living in a mansion of a house/apartment....

    Corvus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kramer is my spirit animal.

    Rosie Red
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still watch reruns every day.

    Jay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, but they're all scumbags. That's why I never got into it. The whole point is to watch them get screwed over by their own selfishness.

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    JoJo Anisko
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And really good, huge pizzas

    ravn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh dear...when were they ever good? :)

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    Chez2202
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t believe they were drunk. I’d call this a moment of clarity in an otherwise senseless world.

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son recently told me he went to a Costo - we're in the UK. I was upset that I didn't know we had one - and that he didn't invite me, lol.

    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have BJ's here and it's the same there also.

    zims
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He threatened to kill the guy who suggested raising hot dog prices and for that he gets mad respect.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And get this guys ! We’re gonna keep people in our stores by feeding them free samples !

    Della
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And bales of toilet paper

    Adam Zad
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    Chez2202
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ll send you my number. Never had a bad conversation about cereal.

    Vera Bean The Tire Ant Queen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One time we were out of milk so I used pickle juice. It was frosted flakes and was surprisingly okay.

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    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Felt. That’s why you get closer with your bestie.

    Shine Chisholm
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel bad that my bestie doesn't get cereal updates when I'm in a relationship

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    MargyB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still suffer from this. Especially since my nephew has bought my exes car. He sold it a few years back

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    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No way! Arms are too short. May have dictated though...

    Tushar Roy Mukherjee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok, but that study was like " T-rex was as smart as a modern-day baboon", and E.D.G.E( Check them out) did a video detailing it with the title' Could T-Rex have had Culture?', and all the while I'm thinking to myself " its as smart as a baboon; the only culture i can expect from it is to trade an uncrushed car for an entire grocery store's worth of Chicken nuggets."

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    #65

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    Captain Kyra
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was day one for my husband, the man just turns his brain off and goes to sleep?! I can't and I'm jealous

    Rabbit Of ill Portent
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An old boyfriend of mine was the very same way as well. As soon as we went to bed, the fücker's head would hit the pillow and in five minutes or less, he's snoring. @$$hole.

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    Hobby Hopper
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was able to do this when 1) I didn't have kids and was able to keep a regular schedule (same bedtime every night + 10 hours of sleep!), 2) I worked a physical job where I never had to second guess myself after my shift, and 3) had a lot fewer responsibilities (see #1 and #2).

    ADHD McChick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my husband, too! The man is literally asleep the moment his head hits the pillows! Meanwhile, I'm laying there listening to him snoring (bragging, lol) and wondering HOW?? And halfway hating him, LOL!!

    #66

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    digitalin
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tomato sauce is highly acidic and etches into the plastic

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because spaghetti is lowfat unless you slick it up with olive oil. Dawn cuts through oil, not pasta.

    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your bowl have feathers?

    Redpen88
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because they microwaved it in the cheap plastic tub.

    Donna Trudeau
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your bowl is lacking in quackers!

    KMill
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read somewhere that the dawn commercials where they’re cleaning oil off of animals is just a pathetic marketing pitch. The animals die anyway from the toxic effects of the oil. Not sure if that’s true but probably.

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    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It shouldn't really matter who bangs who (as long as all participants give consent).

    Thorsten Massow
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only problem is when you derive any benefits or privileged from this whole banging.

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    rob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apparently i missed out. Never banged any of my coworkers... i blame my coworkers...

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should see what goes on in the hotel industry. I have stories for days!

    Roald
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We secretly admire her. Live wild and free in the city jungle.

    My O My
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What happened initially? I've read all the comnents but I still don't know

    Chris D'Asta
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Chris D'Asta
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    12 years in hospitality/restaurants and I fully agree. Then again what do you expect when everyone is on a steady diet of cocaine and alcohol?

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clearly!! Everyone sleeps with everyone in the restaurant industry. My friend and I were just joking about taking up bar jobs to get regular d**k lol.

    Almostfoxlike
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's really frowned upon in that job but idk why

    Kevin Beard
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought her job was to bust the gang bangers…

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    #70

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    VonBlade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jeans pre-ripped have always brought out my disapproval and that will never change.

    Xenon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or come with dirt stains already. Like wth?

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    Rabbit Of ill Portent
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I'm comfortable in and what I think looks good on me is fashion in my eyes.

    Alan Christensen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Welcome to your 70s. You look at every fashion trend and think, "What, that AGAIN?!?!"

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m rolling with it! Fit and flare is back baby.

    Mona Stevenson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hang onto old jeans, always. That style will come around again for sure.

    zims
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not saying people shouldn't wear jeans with holes in them, just not to the office. It's unprofessional. Nobody needs to see four square inches of your thighs.

    MargyB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've found a perfect skinny leg jean but now they wear wide legs ahhhhh!

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still waiting for my acid wash jeans to come back in style.

    Benita Valdez
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have always hated skinny jeans. I'd rather buy ripped, pre-stressed jeans than skinny jeans.

    Clarf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No jeans with holes in them. I'm not shelling out $60+ for clothing that is already ruined. Also, I AM a mom, but no Mom jeans. I've never understood their appeal.

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    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What the heck is going on in that profile picture?!

    Jihana
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That picture though! 🤣🤣🤣

    Xenon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But it came with free heartburn.

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    #72

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    PigSquatch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Heck I do that now, no sense spending money on hotdog or hamburger buns and eat two just to toss the rest. Waste of money

    3 Owls In A Coat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I find hot dog buns usually add way too much to the bread-to-hotdog ratio. I kinda like sandwich bread with mine :)

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    Alan Christensen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or eating a hot dog cold, by itself, like mini bologna.

    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My childhood must have been horrific than. Just make sure it's previously frozen bread

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still slightly frozen in the middle, for bonus points

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    Alex S
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sausage on bread is an Australian culinary masterpiece sold in hardware store parking lots and at voting booths. The democracy sausage is an institution!

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They don’t want to show the vegetation version of rock bottom….eating a whole package of Kraft cheese slices and be surrounded by 16 wrappers. Not a pretty sight.

    Delta Dawn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that’s my preferred way to eat a hot dog

    Kate Jones
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or you can go really low and make the Al Bundy special... a piece of white bread with toothpaste. Get your calories and fight gingivitis.

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    #73

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    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Conveniently the cereal box is sized perfectly to fill up the hot tub

    Silvermidnight
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Extra large cereal boxes and extra small hot tubs.

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    pocwaddler
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me it's going to Ikea, and suddenly I'm a character in a Kafka novel.

    Alan Christensen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Friend's joke: I got a great deal at Costco on a new lawn mower. It came in a three pack.

    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What, have you never eaten cereal in a hot tub? (I haven't either, but it sounds like something I would do)

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    I think I’m hilarious
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s torture! Same with decorating the tree!

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can’t function watching anyone else decorating my tree ! Lol

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    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m too chill to have a kid.

    StumblingThroughLife
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's bad enough watching my son (29) wash up.

    #75

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    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My baby sister got kicked out of her Kung Fu class because somehow she got too good for her age and kinda injured a grown man. They said that she was too young to learn proper control. She's 42 and we're still waiting on that.

    Tess
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My one and only athletic feat was having the 6ft very large 4th dan black belt mixed martial arts instructor, tap out during a jujitsu sparring match because he was pinned down with my arm across his neck that he couldn't break out of. As an 11 year old girl, at a quarter of his weight, I was quite proud of myself.

    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As well you should be. You and my sister should start a club!

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    #76

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    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or "yeah sure ok" if you're really, really, REALLY upset

    Electric Comet
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “That’s totally fine!” ☹️😨🤢😡

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    #77

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    Tilly
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds like me.

    VonBlade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's me with Spring Rolls. They come in two, and I always order 4 (dinner, then supper, lunch, and dinner again) and the woman always asks if I mean 4 total so 2, and I have to sheepishly tell her I mean 4 packs of 2 meaning 8. I love spring rolls.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Used to order jalapeño poppers like this. It was for the entire 24 hour period when I was bingeing on Netflix.

    ConstantlyJon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's fried cheese. You cannot have enough fried cheese.

    SuperChicken
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haven't had Mozzarella sticks in a while. I think, it's time to get some of those.

    #78

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    I think I’m hilarious
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Saying "my life sucks" when things go wrong: - self-deprecating - depressing - makes you sad Saying "Spinosaurus Aegyptiacus wouldn't want this for me" when things go wrong: - motivating - makes you think about Spinosaurus - reminds you that Spinosaurus cares for you (I stole this from a meme but it felt relevant)

    Tess
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My terrace is filled with an assortment of curiosities that I have compiled from my extensive interior collection. Also known as things that are either supposed to be thrown out, put in the shipping container that is used for a garden shed, and tools that need to be put away into the giant wheeled toolbox that they are in front of.

    Hobby Hopper
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's ridiculous. I'm getting off of BP and going out to my lanai now.

    Delta Dawn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    we call our hallway the promenade

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    #79

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    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always forget my employee ID number, or any passwords that were not written down (because I just knew I would remember them).

    Rosie Red
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to finally admit to myself that NO, I will not remember and started writing them down.

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    Alya
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NO THIS IMAGE- WHY IS HE THERE? One of the most terrifying dreams I ever had was involving big bird and I being coworkers at an office job.

    Alya
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That wasn't the scary part, the scary part was the murders going on and big bird being the culprit who for some reason had antennae with detachable crescent shapes that would electrocute his victims. I was immune to this electricity apparently so when he tried it on me in an elevator I was only temporarily paralyzed. But then he laid down, looked at me and said "How funny. Now we're both dead." and that was the most chilling thing I've ever heard

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    Alan Christensen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...what it is I do and how they managed to get it done without me.

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    #80

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    ConstantlyJon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    gotta remember that BP censors don't care about fuckity.

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    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd try em once. Just to gross out my friends. EDIT: I'm ordering them on Amazon as we speak. XD

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're brave. Report back if you survive 😄

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    Donna Trudeau
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also an affront to candy, satan and the rest of the universe.

    Kody Franks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What in the Kentucky fried f--k?

    Carol Bogdanowitz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My granddaughters love Mac and Cheese…bought them these and now they don’t!

    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was 100% expecting an Obvious Plant logo but there isn't one?? This is real???

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. I literally just tried mine from Christmas. Not that great tasting.

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    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait 'til gummy pork and beans is a thing.

    Bored Bed Bug
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooh, perfect! I'll eat these in my car with the macaroni & cheese air freshener I was given as a gift this year (seriously, someone thought I would just LOVE the smell of macaroni and cheese every time I drive to work in the morning 🙄)

    ADHD McChick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son wanted a box of these for Christmas (along with his other gifts) so what the hell, we got them. They're no mac-n-cheese flavored. They're fruit flavored, and not too bad. They're a fraud, in a way-though I don't know if that's good or bad, lol. But I do know my cheese-addicr son was slightly disappointed that they weren't really cheese flavored. 🤷😂

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    #81

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    I think I’m hilarious
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Translation for all dogs on BP: woof bark arf arf woof-woof barrrrk

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ::head-tilts, as the dialect of Canine for wolves is slightly different:: XD

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    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would love to know what happened that made someone create this sign.

    Izzy Curer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ability to train your dog not to bark at every single thing. Some people don't seem to realize you can do that.

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    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cats walks by…clearly spends too much time staring at it…then sits. Meeeeeoooowww !!!! Cats interpreted the sign meant for dogs only, not applicable to cats.

    Sawdust
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We should just teach dogs sign language.

    DuchessDegu
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please can I have 700 of those sent to my neighbours, just one a day for 700 days, Sundays included. Thanks.

    Dodo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hover dogs 🤩

    indiecognition
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok, we'll arf, ruff, woof, and bow wow instead if barking

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    #82

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    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somehow still there are 6 chips in there and half are broken

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pringles isn’t known for underfilling.

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    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a "two-in-one" - first you eat the Pringles, then you hold a jousting tournament with a sibling/partner/guy next to you on the bus.

    ChatDeCafé
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It will be hard to reach the chips at the end though...

    ConstantlyJon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh you have to know someone showed up in the ER with their elbow stuck in that thing.

    PastaNoodle Turduckin
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doesn’t Italy use metric? FAKE NEWS lolololol

    Amaranthim Talon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But it says it has three containers inside- so

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why aren’t these precious 3footers here ? My precious! We needs the precious!

    Bi Frog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where are we finding this cool food???

    Panda in the Fake South
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha ha not United States with the big portion this time. USA USA USA 🇺🇸

    Me
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, you can buy a folded Pringles chip for $3500 USD. https://www.ebay.com/itm/354329288498?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=a9p1eq9bqzq&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=mbfh1vklqwg&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

    Me
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, and the price doesn't include shipping.

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    #83

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    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget all the delicious coffee

    VonBlade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pickled onions man. Pickled onions.

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Missing from the picture: The greasy pizza you season with those chilies and a few cups of coffee

    Lizz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oooooo so THAT explains it....

    Geoffrey Scott
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's all over when the ulcer hits...enjoy

    Jennifer Casey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ño wonder! It's all so clear now.

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Replace the wine with garlic and you should be fine from now on.

    Chez2202
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s a complete mystery.

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    #84

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    General Anaesthesia
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you want Santa leering at you from every square inch (645.16 square millimeters) of wall?

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    Uncanny
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, I too would think that’d look better wrapped around presents.

    Rumina Io
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In his defence it's very wintery

    Lunar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tbh that doesn't look good as wallpaper

    Liz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like he saved the house from a travesty

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He saved her from a big mistake, she should thank him

    Mam cymraeg
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tbh it looks like wrapping paper

    Izzy Curer
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He did you a favor. It's cute as wrapping paper, but it would look awful on walls. So each roll just has a white fade-in stripe down the middle, and that is just supposed to repeat around the room? It'll look like a 90's web page.

    Green One
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How old was your brother? Are we talking 10 or 30 ?

    Carol Emory
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's ok...just get the glue gun and stick the packages to the wall. No one will ever know.

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    #85

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    Lesley Relph
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually I saw an interview (Graham Norton I think) Ehen she revealed it was made up by her parents. Can't remember her real name but it's an embellishment

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The actress took her name from a minor character in The Great Gatsby, but it's a surname and given name of French origin, IIRC. XD

    Fabian Bernard
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No way, as a French I can testify Sigourney is nowhere to be find in French language

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    Xenon
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Makes for a cool first name tbh. Better than the bazionth Brittany or Courtney. No offense to anyone who has that name, just an example I thought of.

    sofacushionfort
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This question is beyonce me

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    apparently there are 313 in usa. https://forebears.io/surnames/sigourney

    Ola Polowczyk
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the number for the people with surname Sigourney. There are 423 people with that first name in the US

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    Me
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's not even named that.

    a penguin
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister had a roommate in college named Sigourney.

    ravn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rumor is that she had a rhyming nickname when she was at Stanford...

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    #86

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    JLS
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've got friends in low places...

    VonBlade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where the beer drowns and the whiskey chases those boots away.

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    Toni Kay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My teens wear crocs to the barn with sweatpants and cowboy boots with athletic shorts, they would totally wear these 🤣

    Donna Trudeau
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If Vivienne Westwood were not already dead, this would kill her.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And Garth hung his head and cried.

    Della
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give to the fella with the "profile picture"... complete the look.

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    #87

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    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NOOOOO! Please don't stir the conspiracy theorists up more!

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I friggin knew it ! There never was another shooter on the grassy knoll after all ! It was his double !

    Katie Lutesinger
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Zombie JFK is back, and this time he's out for blood! JFK 2: The Revenge

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    #88

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    Uncanny
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I head straight for all various forms of social media, and with shaking hands and dread filled heart check what hammered me was up to last night and whether I’ll need to change my name and move to Siberia. Delete! Delete! 😳😂

    Hobby Hopper
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thankfully, my go to is eating random stuff in the fridge like an animal.

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    #89

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    SealOfDisapproval
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or a green pig who has just finished building a nice castle.

    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brain is blasting the Angry Birds theme now and it's refusing to shut up

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    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is the best bird picture I've ever seen!

    Praecordia
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it just me or does that Cardinal look pissed?

    Toni Kay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I’m going to be watching for this move, I counted 10 in my snowy Magnolia tree this morning.

    #90

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    Amanda Rose
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always forget what got shoved up there when I first moved. Can't find x item? Mystery cabinet!

    3 Owls In A Coat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually cleaned off the top of my fridge this weekend and got excited to find out what I’d stored in those cupboards. The microwave is on top of my fridge blocking the cupboard doors so I hadn’t opened it in years. The answer was: an old Christmas gift for my last roommate that I thought I’d lost a few years ago and had to remake 😅 what a great hiding spot that was.

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    Tess
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are for the vase collection that you have no idea how they even came to be in your house.

    Firstname Lastname
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's where you hide the gifts you can't get rid of until enough time has passed to not offend the friend that gave it to you.

    Something
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's where you put your valuables. The burglars won't bother.

    Jo314129
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the junk cabinets, cousin of Junk Drawers.

    Toni Kay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No the junk cabinet has to be easily accessible and directly above junk drawer!

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    Panda in the Fake South
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are put there for cats. It's been tradition to provide cats with a cave in the home since cats domesticated us.

    Liz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use it for vases and plant pots

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cats like to jump up there and sleep in them.

    Christof Irran
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Significant Other keeps over-sized cooking ware up there; the thanksgiving roasting pan, a two-foot tall cooking pot (our cupboards are higher than those pictured); miscellaneous vases, that kinda stuff. It's always me who has to get stuff down from there.

    zims
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holiday and potluck items. Cookie cutters, large serving bowls, picnic supplies. Stuff you use a couple times a year.

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    #91

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    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ZARA WHERE ARE YOU! (Maybe she is at Kohl's right now?)

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    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cat is named Kohl. She BETTER not be in the ocean, she's an indoors cat.

    Dianellian
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What’s a Kohls? Wouldn’t it be great if there was whole cities filled with merpeople down there. They lived in houses and had schools and shops! No books though. They get soggy too easy.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just like in the Little Mermaid ! Knowing me id have a whole collection of whatchamacallits and thingabobs and doohickeys !

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    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is where they sunk all the Sears and Montgomery Wards stores ! Lol

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    O...K...But it's more likely to be a Big Lots.

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    #92

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    Fabian Bernard
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My girlfriend is like that, I stopped playing because it raised too much drama

    3 Owls In A Coat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friends stopped playing our go-to drinking game version of Crazy Eights with my one friend and I because apparently we got “too aggressive” (screaming “PICK UP TWO B!TCH” and teaming up to cheat and bring everyone else down) 😅 the good ol days

    pocwaddler
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My oldest daughter. A kindergarten teacher, patient and calm, but sit her down at a Monopoly board and it's all search and destroy.

    all 4 paws
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or Uno. Or 8ball. Your friends arent your friends anymore. They're mean now.

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This only happens when I am the banker playing Monopoly. Watch me buy up all the railroads bitches ! And I will plant hotels on Every property I own. I don’t care if you’re only 12….if you run with the big dogs, better keep up or stay on the porch !!!

    Thomas Bentley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, it brings out someone who would rip Mr Hyde to shreds for the drug in his lungs if he so much as threatens their rook.

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    #93

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    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this with my puppy, who is half German Shepherd. If you've ever owned a GSD, you know that they absolutely do talk back XD

    VonBlade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GSDs are the best dog. Nothing else comes close.

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    Donna Trudeau
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I try that with my cats who just ignore me and do as they please. I have since learned from this.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cats are like pre-schoolers. Mine is currently standing on the bed with one foot on the forbidden bedside table until he is told "No". He then gives me sad little mew, and big eyes, and slowly removes his foot (only if I make eye contact), and hops down. As soon as I glance back at my laptop, he repeats.

    all 4 paws
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "pls i thought we were friends.. please just answer me, why did you have to scratch me in the face??"

    Bored Trash Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I argue with my cat every night about my foot space on the bed.... her response is usually to bite me..

    3 Owls In A Coat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I argue with my cat a lot, he’s very chatty and will follow me around meowing like he’s giving me heck for something

    Benita Valdez
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My one boy is coonhound/pitbull mix. He complains and backtalks alot about not getting his way and when I finally make it clear that I'm not giving in he gets huffy and puts his face over my face.

    Praecordia
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just argued with my pug over bed space.. we argued earlier over pate etiquette. He’s always got something to howl about.

    Ches Yamada
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've done this with all our dogs, but we own poodles exclusively and it literally is just like arguing with a toddler. "No. No, Dandy Chiggins, why did you do this? You know mommy says no." Dandy: sighs, looks at food bowl, then back in my eyes. "It's not time yet. I told you." Dandy: glances over at clock, then lays down, making very sure his back is to me

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    #94

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    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s one of my trigger words 🤮 Like how people hate the word moist.

    #95

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    Rocke-Road
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BA DA DEE DA BE DAA DA BA DEE DA BE DAA

    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry could someone please explain, I don't get it

    Nicole Weymann
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eiffel 65 song: "I'm blue, da ba dee, da ba da, da ba dee, da ba da, ..."

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    Mat Hall
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://youtu.be/rP2dAbjIQCU

    beethebi 2.0
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NOOO now this is stuck in my head again

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could be worse? You could be hearing Crazy Frog 🐸 humming Axel F in your head ! Lol

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    Nicole Weymann
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Song from 1999 "I'm blue (da ba dee, da ba di, da ba dee, da ba di)" by Eiffel 65

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    Luke Branwen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I expected the punchline to be something racial. This is infinitely better.

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    #96

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    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It took me about 3x to determine which was which

    Procrastinating....
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The face is the exact same? They only swapped the eyes? ??

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    #97

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    Thomas Bentley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What Not to do with Food and Health/ Housing/ and What Would Happen if a Toddler was Trying to Get Someone into Space, respectively.

    SPARKIZE
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yup, only reason why i vote (on cult classics to bring back to the menu) ;)

    MargyB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We don't have a Taco Bell in my state, Tas. Never eaten it even when I lived in Sydney

    Some Cool Guy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't hate me but i would love a taco chicken pizza

    A Wild Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We finally found the Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell! (argh now the song is stuck in my head again)

    #98

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    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about zoom meeting that must include the two old balcony muppet guys and their commentary throughout?

    Jay
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Statler and Waldorf, they're named after famous Hotels in NYC.

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    Captain Kyra
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd wholeheartedly support more muppet movies

    Christof Irran
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This movie could have been two seasons on Netflix, 12 episodes each - which I can then binge-watch...

    #99

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    Rostit .
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha alcoholism is funny. ...

    Erla Zwingle
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    On behalf of my brother and sister recovering alcoholics, please rethink your sense of humor. If you are in denial about being an alcoholic, I hope you'll discover that jokes really don't make it okay and don't make it go away. Get help. You can do it. Be brave.

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    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn. Why didn’t I ever think to spike my morning orange juice with a little vodka ?! Sure would have made my board meetings more enjoyable!

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    #100

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    all 4 paws
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok with a period. Like sometimes i say something I'm really excited about and my one friend just goes "Ok."

    Almostfoxlike
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The thumbs up. You might as well be giving me the middle finger.

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    #101

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    Scooter
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gonna need more Scooby snacks if I am going to finish reading this thread.

    #102

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    JoJo Anisko
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As far as I can tell, their only purposes are to fulfill masochists and slow down consumption.

    Synsepalum
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Flaming Hot Cheetos with Lime is the bestest thing ever.

    Donna Trudeau
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Roy, you are a funny a*s guy!!! rflmao

    #103

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    Lunar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is 'jelly' here actually means 'jam'?

    Donkey boi
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Has anyone outside of North America ever actually tried it? Peanut butter and Jam! What did you think?

    Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a Brit and often feel as though I ought to try one, but haven't managed to psych myself up for one yet.

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    JoMeBee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Best hangover remedy ever, but the white bread needs to be extra squishy...

    QuirkyKittyGirl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Best way I’ve seen to make a PBJ, liberally spread peanut butter on one slice of bread, and jelly/jam on another. Now, instead of just smacking them together, insert another piece of bread in between them! (Bread, peanut butter, bread, jelly/jam, bread)

    Me
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I prefer the English muffin version of PB&J

    Bananananana
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well... Peanut butter and jelly

    Tinderella
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They’re not gross but I rarely ever make them. Once every 3-4 years maybe. Too sweet.

    Lakota Wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've loved them for all four decades of my life!

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    #104

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    Eastendbird
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are you British by any chance?

    Noah Libitsky
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone called me a moldy waffle at 2 am on a game

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