“What Is Suspicious To Own But Not Illegal?”: 30 People Share What Makes Them Feel Criminal
Interview With Author
Standing in the checkout line at a home improvement store can get more interesting when you notice someone buying an “interesting” combination of goods. Yards and yards of rope, locks and duct tape, perhaps saws and garbage bags. Somehow, our brain starts to develop its own “fun '' little narratives.
Someone asked, “What is suspicious to own but not illegal?” and folks shared all the items that might make you feel like a true criminal. We also got in touch with the fabulously named TooGayToPayCash to learn why they decided to pose this question. So get comfortable as you read through these posts and be sure to upvote your favorites. If you have any examples of your own to share, feel free to comment below.
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I got pulled over late at night and when the cop shined his light into the cargo area of my station wagon the most visible objects were a shovel, rope, gloves, and the giant tarp-wrapped bundle of yard refuse I was bringing to the town compost in the morning. Surely there was at least one roll of duct tape or gorilla tape back there. At least he had a sense of humor about it when he strolled up to my window: "So we're off to bury the body under the cover of night, huh?"
Bored Panda got in touch with TooGayToPayCash who started the thread and they were kind enough to answer some of our questions. We wanted to know what prompted the initial inquiry. "I asked the question because I was on break at work with nothing to read so this question came to me."
"I think people engaged with the post so much because they were curious about what others would answer. When I first got off break and back to work, I only had about 12 comments on my post. I put on some videos on my phone to listen to while I worked and then I heard my phone dinging like crazy. I had to turn off the Reddit notifications because every comment would make my phone ding and interrupt the videos I was listening to, haha!"
I was at home Depot with a shopping cart full of PVC stuff, and this cop standing in line behind me says "building a potato cannon, huh?".
I actually *was* building a potato cannon.
I lost the key to my crawlspace's padlock once, and went to the hardware store to buy bolt cutters, so I could replace it. I told the cashier why I was buying them (without being asked) and he was like "it's funny, everyone that buys bolt-cutters feels like they need to tell me why they are buying them. I think they just want me to know they aren't about to do something illegal."
If that was your only reason for buying bolt cutters you should have bought an angle grinder instead. It's a bit more versatile for future applications.
Human minds love stories, but this is a double-edged sword (another thing that feels illegal to own,) as we start to construct narratives where they don’t even exist. Imagine the checkout section of your local grocery store. A person is getting flour, eggs, sugar, and vanilla extract. They must be baking something you think, despite the fact that you have no actual evidence.
This is an example of narrative fallacy, where we attribute cause and effect to separate events. Most fiction we consume follows certain narrative conventions. Indeed, a story where things simply “happen” with no rhyme or reason feels hollow, despite the fact that a lot can happen in our lives without our direct control or contribution.
It’s not illegal to go to Walmart and buy trash bags, a saw and cleaning supplies at 2am but I’ve seen enough true crime stuff to say it is mighty suspicious.
Lock picks
They're seen as thieves tools but lock picking isn't uncommon for a hobby
I remember seeing something on here about a lock picking youtube guy who people enjoyed. Apparently whenever he managed under a minute people would roast the lock like crazy in the comments
For me water. My neighbors had well water and would dry up. They asked if they could run a hose and put it in there well they would pay what was owed. Did this alot last summer no big deal they paid. Then they bought a big above ground pool. Filled it for them they always paid my part was always around the same so I wasn't bent out of shape. One day the water meter guy knocked with an officer wanting to know why I was using so much water. I explained showed the many hoses to reach my neighbors and they were there to help explain. They explained to me that much water usage was throwing a red flag. So they were sent out to investigate to make sure no marijuana growing was happening.
Not marijuana. Excessive water usage brings up a red flag for leaks in the water pipeline. Good thing it does, too. I had an underground water leak and didn't know it. They gave me 50% off the excess water bill.
So fans of true crime (or fictional crime honestly,) will no doubt see a person buying, say, multiple padlocks and rope and think it’s suspicious. Even though this could simply be the administrator of multiple AirBnBs who also needed some rope and didn’t want to make two trips to the hardware store.
"(...)You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm."
It's part of a quote from the movie Snatch....."You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig"
I had all my baby teeth saved in a little container at one point, as an adult. Just never threw them away. I got rid of them when I watched the season of Dexter where there is a serial k**ler who kept a collection of his victim's teeth and it made me think "yeah this could look weird."
This is a common human problem, while, theoretically, we understand that we never have perfect information, psychologists believe that all too often we act as if our data is comprehensive. Since this is realistically never true, it’s easy to see just how often we might misanalyze an issue just because we see connections that don’t exist.
Multiple pad locks on your basement door.
I got stopped and questioned at airport security because of my jewellery scales and grinder.. until I showed them my coffee beans and Aeropress.
Let’s face it, we often create false narratives about our own life stories, diminishing our faults, misattributing blame, and finding connections that don’t exist. This, naturally, raises the question, if we can’t actually make good conclusions about our own lives, how exactly do we make sweeping generalizations about others?
An old beat up van with, "Free candy" painted on the side.
A tank. Most states don't prohibit you owning one because it's just something you don't expect someone to have... but I'd find it really suspicious if one was parked in my neighbors driveway
To be fair, with the right federal certifications, they are legal to own in my state. That said, they are completely illegal to drive on any public road/highway. Also of important note, they are not cheap. Someone owning a tank is wealthy. Buying it, maintaining it and fueling it is prohibitively expensive af
A "ritual" dagger, as he described it. My one college roommate had one displayed and would occasionally need the room to himself. I opted for a place where I had my own room next year.
At the end of the day, one just has to make peace with the fact that most of our brains are building stories all the time. One just has to keep on living. If you want to read more people’s thoughts on things that don’t feel right or even legal but still are, check out Bored Panda’s two previous articles on the topic.
3 phones
a very sensetive scale
If the scale is very sensitive, please try not to hurt its feelings.
Growing up- my neighbor (a 50 something year old man that lived alone) had around 8-10 coffins in his backyard. Just displayed there. Every now and then he would move them around, or add/remove one. It was creepy and we’d often see him hanging out in his backyard just sitting around them. None of this was illegal but sure felt suspicious
Having a Crowbar, large bolt cutters, and pantyhose in the same general area.
I want my legs to look pretty while I break into the bank.
Psilocybin mushroom spore kits. Legal to buy, illegal to cultivate and distribute the mature product.
A lot of Claritin-D 24 hour allergy medicine. It takes a while, but I do this over the summer and winter so I don't run out in fall and spring.
Where my brother lives, you're only allowed a certain amount in a 30 day period. They scan your license into a state database so you can't go to another store. He has really bad allergies so it really sucks for him.
A sword. I had a friend in high school who’s dad had a sword collection that spanned all across the garage. The smallest one in his collection was used to peel his daily breakfast apple.
well where I live you need a permission to own a "knife" that is longer than a certain length, just as you need permission to own firearms.
Wood chipper.
Tucker and Dale is amazing. If you haven't seen it you should track it down now!
Concerning amounts of rope.
Weird wording. What length in meters is "concerning"? I know a lot of climbing folks, I'm pretty sure some of them have 150m+ of rope in their homes. I also know some BDSM and bondage people, a standard kit of 6-12 ropes easily adds up to 50-100 meters as well. Is any of this concerning?
A suspiciously large homework folder on your computer.
Granted, in some cases that could be illegal I suppose...
I have a bag for work that includes rope, disposable gloves, a knife and a hammer(like a mini sledge hammer), among other things. They are all things that I need for work, but they feel illegal when in the same bag, especially after a coworker called it a “murder bag”. Feel free to try and guess what I do.
I have a Swiss Army knife that I use to open containers of art supplies because the packaging is so tough, it breaks our good scissors and the box cutters are not as versatile as I'd like...I worry that someday my excuse of "I'm an art student" will not help (even though our school has no bans on smaller knives).
I have a bag for work that includes rope, disposable gloves, a knife and a hammer(like a mini sledge hammer), among other things. They are all things that I need for work, but they feel illegal when in the same bag, especially after a coworker called it a “murder bag”. Feel free to try and guess what I do.
I have a Swiss Army knife that I use to open containers of art supplies because the packaging is so tough, it breaks our good scissors and the box cutters are not as versatile as I'd like...I worry that someday my excuse of "I'm an art student" will not help (even though our school has no bans on smaller knives).
