Someone Asked “What’s A Subtle Sign That Someone Is A Good Person But Doesn’t Want To Show It?” And 30 Folks Delivered
Most of us know the image of the angel and devil sitting on either shoulder, whispering sweet nothings into the ears of the decision-maker. How do you make the choice between them? Which side do you listen to? Is it the moral values, is it society’s expectations, or is it a 50/50 impulse? Hard to say.
But what isn’t too difficult to decide upon are the ‘green flags’ that show one to be a genuinely good human. Even though a person may look harsh on the outside, they may be the kindest cinnamon roll on the inside, as showcased through their words and actions. Little birds seem to fly around them, and the clouds part to let sunshine rain down on them.
Someone decided to ask the community of r/AskReddit what they believed to be the most telltale signs of goodness, and dozens of netizens delivered their verdicts. Make sure you do the same by upvoting your favorites, leaving your thoughts in the comments below, and if you’re curious to see the other side of the coin, Bored Panda has you covered with an article right here. Now let’s get into it!
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Guy I used to work with was such a class clown, always cracking jokes. Everybody liked him because he was so funny. It was a while before I realized that his jokes were never at anybody’s expense. He was kind. There was never anything mean in anything he ever said, to anybody’s face or behind their back.
Anyway we’re married now.
Growing up, I was always making sharp deep ribs about other people, including those I was talking to. When I became a teacher, I soon realized that this was now a bad idea. I would still make ridiculing remarks and jokes, but they were always about myself. (And I got bigger laughs that way, anyhow.)
Did anyone notice the European window in the background? I don‘t know why, but it was the first thing I noticed in this stock photo. LOL
I had a coworker like that, dude was lazy as hell, but he was frikking funny ( he also knew what he was doing, he was lazy, but knew what he was doing ) i Saw two customers being really pissed at him and do nothing because they where to busy laughing lol, One day a costumer bought steel tipped boots, the Next day hevwent back to return them, because they where to right, my coworker looks at him very seriously and goes " have you tried clipping your toe mails? " Another One was because a brand of Paint that had fruits names, grape fruit, tangerina, lemon etc, client goes to the store asks for orange, he goes get the Paint comes back, and the client notices it wasn't the same color, checks the lable and it was tangerine, he complain to my coworker, and dude goes, " só? Its all citrous any way " ( he of course went get the right color, but he had to make a joke about it )
To sin or not to sin, you ask yourself at the crosswalk as you wait for the light to turn green, but there’s not a car in sight, so are you gonna run for it? To be honest, this type of situation doesn’t reflect much on whether someone’s a good person or not, but it is interesting to consider the amount of thought we go through when making decisions.
However, there are some things that can universally be agreed upon to be signs of goodness within a person. Although subtle and requiring a bit of notice, they’re there, and they make living all the more pleasant. A Reddit user decided to ask the community of r/AskReddit for their opinions on ‘green flags’ that show one to be a good human being. Or human beans if you’re into cute things.
when you're in a group and that one person keeps trying to say something or add to the conversation but they keep getting talked over. Then that other person will look at them and say, "Sorry person, I didn't catch what you were trying to say, can you repeat it?" and makes space for the person being ignored unintentionally. That's a real gem.
I work with the same group and there's one person who always cuts people off. So I do this. It's weird because the person who cut the person off can see what I did but they do that same thing again.
I do it too, bc I am so old that waiting for a pause I forgot what will to say.
Load More Replies...I am usually the one that keeps getting talked over so I very much appreciate anyone that gives me space to speak
Me too. My husband is a cutter offer. No one can finish a sentence around him. Even if he asked you the question he'll cut you off before you finish answering. It's more frustrating that you can imagine. I can't say anything if he's around.
Load More Replies...When cut off, I usually start with a sigh, followed by paying complete attention until they are finished talking, pause, and finish with, "as I was saying." They know.
Yes I've been steamrollered hundreds of times during my life. Funny some of the people that are drawn to me are direct opposites. Heavy talkers.
Yes! Or when you start saying something in Zoom, then someone else blunders in and talks over you, but they come back to you, even if it takes a couple of minutes.
One of my biggest pet peeves… someone who cuts someone off when they’re talking. So rude and inconsiderate.
I do this with my team in meetings. I would say its because im nice but the real reason is i want to hear what they say especially if it is valuable
When I'm cut off, even in a one on one conversation, I just stop talking.
I'm all of these people. Lolol. I get talked over so much. The more people in the room the less I talk and the quieter I get. So alllll the time. .. but then sometimes it's just 1 -4 peopleish. (The number largely depends on how comfortable I am with them) and I have SUCH a bad habit of interrupting.. and I have 2 kinds. 1) i think you're about to go into a long story or just. Go on about 1 thing for a bit. I need to establish information real fast. (Maybe I'm making us tea and I need to know how much sugar..,) and I'll raise my hand and side bar. The 2nd kind I just straight up come in like a train with word vomit .... but I always apologize, ask them to continue, and remind them were they were.. cause I.. I don't want to be rude .. but I am lolol
I don't really know how I want to word this, so I'll just tell you the story.
This past Sunday at 2:34am, my cat/son George was euthanized because he was so sick. Naturally, I was very, very, very close to my son and I took it extremely hard. I didn't go to work on Monday, but did show up to work on Tuesday. So the math so far is I've lost my son less than 72 hours, and it was just 48 hours before then that I quite literally collapsed in grief. What I'm trying to say is: I was very visibly upset, frequently crying, really quiet, etc.
A customer had noticed that I was upset and asked if everything was okay. I had hit a place in the day where I felt like I could open up to total strangers about what was wrong, and so I told her. It turns out she lost her cat the same weekend in the same manner. She told me she hopes I take comfort in knowing George was no longer suffering and that my husband and I made the right decision. She paid for her groceries and left.
She came back not even 30 minutes later with a single wrapped gerbera daisy. She said, "This is for George, okay?" before leaving. Her kindness spoke absolute volumes. She was grieving the loss of her own pet, but when she saw a total stranger- a cashier, who many customers regard as being inhuman, no less- mourning the loss of their pet too, she reached out and offered an ear and genuine condolences. No hidden agenda, no ulterior motives- just genuine compassion.
Some people just don't get how we can be so close to our fur babies. Over the years, mine have gotten me thru my mom's suicide attempt, my own, my divorce, my break up. Having another heartbeat and something that wants to snuggle u to feel better is a LOT of comfort. And they only ask for food, potty, a home and love in return
It's a really recent thing that calling your pet a "fur baby" wouldn't get you looked at as if you were a few fries short of a happy meal. It still hasn't caught on everywhere or with everyone. Times are changing, but not as fast as people think. Growing up your pets were part of your family but you didn't dress them up, buy food that was fancier than your own or spend huge sums at the vet. I am not calling people out for doing so, only pointing out that things regarding pets are changing.
Load More Replies...Omg. That’s so sweet. I had a guy tip me $5 after he heard I got ripped off at a gig at 4am the previous night and told me to keep being funny and nice to kids (he was with his granddaughter) Literally a whole hours work at the gig last night. I cried
I once worked as a bell ringer for the Salvation Army just ringing the bell outside for a few hours. It was freezing January and I was just a kid in a sweater. A very kind lady comes out of the grocery store I was posted at with a pair of gloves for me ❤️ Its been like 15 years but I never forget. I hope you meet more kind people like that.
Load More Replies...Kitty is her baby. I call my boys (2dogs/1kitty) my boys my children my babies but hardly ever dog/cat. Tell my human children that they are their brothers. When I got them I sent my human kids ( their all adults and live elsewhere) pic saying meet your new brothers. Some of us can't see /feel the difference between human kid and animal kid.
Load More Replies...I lost my furry son in 2009 but it still hurts. The kindness of the people in the grocery store where I always went, went above and beyond in the kindness they showed me. (He was a service dog and so allowed in the grocery). They're at the Bridge now, and safe. We'll see them again.
My deepest condolences. It's always hard losing your fur baby. Mine had to be put down 2 yrs ago this February, because he was ill. It still hurts, but I am glad he isn't suffering any more. What a beautiful thing for that stranger to do. There is still some good in this world! 💗
Wow. That hit my heart bc when I lost Blake (my dog then) I tried to work but in between speaking w/clients - I kept crying. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep - lost 13 lbs. Finally I told 2 coworkers that I need to go home w/one of them. I said if I go back to my empty apartment - I'll take my life. Went home w/one of them. The next morning - she called our boss & said she wouldn't be in that day. My coworker took me to the hospital (Dallas) & I was on suicide watch the entire time. See, my ex-husband skip out w/my daughter on a Christmas Eve morning & I never saw her again. I learned in therapy that when I lost Blake, I am now grieving over 2 losses. I argued that I'm over w/my daughter & he said no, you are not so when Blake passed away - it brought the loss of your daughter forward. Then I had out patient therapy for a solid 6 months. I'm better now!
So what actually makes a person good? Is it the combination of all these little actions that are being discussed in this list? Well, this is quite an interesting philosophical conundrum as goodness can be understood in many different ways, but is there a universal consensus on it all? Let’s delve a little into it all.
We begin with the views on moral character. Most of the Greek moralists think that if we are rational, we aim at living well (eu zên) or happiness (eudaimonia). So the Stoics identify happiness with “living coherently,” and Aristotle says that happiness is “perfect” or “complete” and something distinctively human. When we are living well, our life is worthy of imitation and praise.
They're kind to animals.
A friend of my dad's was mind of grumpy and was very loud, and tried to come off way tougher than he was... but absolutely MELTED over small animals. Bunnies, squirrels, but his favorite was his cat Taco. That cat was treated like damn royalty and got all the perks and baby-talk included.
Even the Grinch had a dog.
Yep, people who are a heel to animals have either a problem they should wolrk out or are just sociopaths.
Load More Replies...I was dating this girl, first night we went back to her place I sat on the sofa while she did what she needed to; her two cats came sat next to me and I gave them a fuss until she came in... What she didn't tell me that night was that they ran from EVERYONE that wasn’t her (her ex used to kick them! She didn’t know at the time) Them accepting me in that brief moment was all the indication she needed that 'she was keeping me' - How much choice i had in the matter i don't know once the cat gods decided but that girl is now my wife.
I had a similar thing. My boy ran to my ex when he first met her, but once the relationship was beginning to turn sour from her point of view, he completely ignored her. They know.
Load More Replies...Its a plus but make sure to check for other things too. There are many examples of people who were amazing to animals and not so much to people. Hitler was famous for doting on dogs and vegetarian because he hated cruelty to animals. Charles Manson's compound was a ranch because he loved the animals more than people. He said at his trial he'd rather kill a person than a pet. Psychologists have found that many psychopaths have pets they love because the animals provide love and devotion they can't get from people. Cruelty to animals is often a sign of being a psychopath too so the way people treat them is not necessarily a great indicator of goodness.
This. I was going to say this. But I doubt I would have expressed it as well as two_rolling_black_eyes has. My ex is either a malignant narcissist or a psychopath ( I haven't quite grasped the difference yet), and I had several cats when he decided not to leave the second or third time he came over. He loved the kittens, and was really good with them and they adored him. They had no special sense that could tell he was not a good person. It's too bad too, it would have saved them some confusion and some hurt kitty feelings. As soon as they were no longer kittens, he lost his warm feelings for them, and would yell at them and not let them cuddle with him anymore. They didn't realize they had grown up. Even if they had, that's no reason to stop loving them. It's ridiculous, in fact. They were my babies, no matter how big or old they got,so I would pour extra love on the ones he rejected, but my heart still aches for them. Reason #6398 that I'm happy to almost have him out of my life.
Load More Replies...My ex-BF always talked about how he hated cats. When I moved in, it was so damn cute and sexy they way he would baby my little blk cat. Pick her up and take her to the kitchen asking in baby talk "what kind of treat would u like. Some chicken or some cheese? Oooh! Maybe bacon?" Highly sexy
I had a maths teacher who used to bust my chops. He was fun, but also very temperamental. He’d be silly to a point, then tell you off when you out-sillied his silliness. I was sat opposite a quiet girl who suddenly looked really distressed. She said something to him in a whisper, and he looked down to a puddle on the floor. She’d wet herself. This was when we were 11-12, so it was quite a big deal. I clocked this at the same time, and he gave me this look like ‘don’t you dare’, He went over to his desk, poured himself a water, then came back and was pretending to peer at her work, before stumbling and dropping it on her. He apologised and made a big scene and told her she could go and get a spare uniform from the office as it was his mistake. I really respected that, I think it showed a lot about his character and care.
when and where did this term "clocked" for "saw" or "noticed" appear?
OP must be British, this is a British term
Load More Replies...Im 66 years old and I've heard that expression for years, at least as far back as high school
Op could also be military. I heard it used a lot by marines and a bunch of my sailors but it make since if directions are treated like a 12 hour clock
How they treat animals and customer service staff. Especially when they are agitated.
Putting their shopping cart in the corral, even if it's not right next to them.
The last one!!! I've seen SO MANY shopping carts inside people's houses (not too far from their supermarket), or left abandoned in the streets. I always try to take them back, but it shouldn't be necessary!
It depends. Our local Winco has a gate thing where you can put the carts in but they won't come out easily. Also, if it's raining I prefer to get one from the inside where they have been dried off a bit.
Load More Replies...I don't always put my cart in the corral, but I'm disabled. Before I was, before the days of cart corrals, I'd bring it back to the store.
However, one doesn’t need to be a philosopher to understand the fact that happiness comes in many forms, differing from person to person. Yet, whatever happiness is, according to Greek moralists, it must give a prominent place to the exercise of virtue, for virtuous traits of character are stable and enduring and are not products of fortune, but of learning or cultivation.
In Plato’s Protagoras, Socrates seems to identify happiness with pleasure, with various virtues being an instrumental means to pleasure. Yet, it’s not necessarily a selfish kind of pleasure, as we know that virtuous acts require some sacrifice.
Thus, according to Aristotle in Nicomachean Ethics, people who have the proper attitude toward external goods (material possessions) will be ready to sacrifice such goods if by doing so they achieve a higher goal. They recognize that when everyone concentrates on doing good, their actions promote a betterment in society.
You can tell a good kid when they purposely try to include the quiet shy kid at school, and make an effort to be nice and friendly to them
I was that kid at high school and it always made me happy when these kids would make an effort to talk to me
Was at a company gathering years ago and some colleagues brought their young kids along to hang out with each other. The group of kids clicked pretty quickly and ran off somewhere to play, but one little girl was left hiding under a table shyly. One of the little boys noticed her, crouched down and held out his hand, saying "I'll hold your hand, let's go together" My heart melted 😭😭
I was that kid. There was this really sweet boy in my high school that didn't really seem to talk. He was always drawing though. I remember purposely befriending him because I didn't like that he was by himself in class tho i thought he was really nice plus I didn't care to talk to a lot of people myself so it worked out. He said in a post a week ago (almost 20 years later) that me and another girl I would also talk to kept him sane in high school. He's now an artist so his quiet doodling paid off. Good for him!
I remember when my niece started school. Her dad (my brother) was a little worried, because generally she's a quiet, shy girl. However, on her very first day of school, immediately after saying goodbye to her parents, she spotted another girl sitting by herself and looking a little sad. She went straight over, introduced herself and sat down to speak with her. They've been friends ever since. I can't imagine how proud (and relieved!) my brother and my sister in-law were when they witnessed that.
My oldest granddaughter has a gift for including whoever is there and I admire her for it. Me and a friend used to watch her play at the park when she was younger. Typical situation - she ends up getting the other random kids (strangers) involved in some game she made up. She is the leader and telling them all what to do. Then after a bit she steps down and says, Now why don't you be the (Queen, whatever) now and we all follow you? Then they do some more and rotate. Everyone included, everyone getting a chance to be the boss and so on.
I think I missed this portion of growing up. I was normally picked last or no one wanted go warm up with me before games. I never understood what I'd done, but I figured it was a them thing not a me thing, it still sucked. I could strike up a conversation easily with anyone, but not many went out of their way to include me.
i was absolutely that kid until about 7th-8th grade and it really stunted my social growth
My oldest girl just visited a class in the school she'll start at in just a few months. The girl she was placed next to was so super kind! Lent her a pencil when they had to work in a book and she even helped my daughter writing the right letters. So so nice! And I just know my girl will do the same for another new kid if she gets the opportunity :) kids can be so fantastic ❤
One of my best friends in high school was the quiet kid and I really miss the camaraderie we had!
My very bright son often didn't finish class assignments and when the teacher and I talked about it, turns out it was because he'd get it started then go help other to finish. He had such a big heart.
I waited tables at a pretty popular New Mexican restaurant when I was in college. There was this one manager, her name was Rosie, and she never smiled. She always looked like she was pissed off at everyone and everything.
The entire waitstaff and bus staff feared her. When she walked into the kitchen and wanted something, the line would immediately jump to her demands. It was rumored that she was the person to fire any employee when an employee was fired.
The only people that didn't seem to be scared of her were the hostesses. They were always talking to her like she was just any other manager or person in the restaurant.
She scared the hell out of me for the first year I worked there. I made sure that she never had anything to be upset at with me. One day, I came into work sick as f**k and having just a really bad day. She took me to the side and talked to me for a good half hour. Just asking quesitons about my day and how school was going. Towards the end of the conversation she said I didn't look good and that if I wanted to , I could take the night off.
Rosie was the best f*****g person I ever met inside the restaurant industry. From that day on it was my goal to make her laugh. I never did make her laugh. But I got a smile out of her quite a bit after that. She was not just a good person, she was one of the best. But man, you wouldn't know it unless you really took the time to look.
She was one of those types of people you know had had a hard time in life and put up a rough exterior. But deep down she was a softie and loving grandmother type. I hope she's happy in her retirement.
Women managers, especially in industries where men are typically in lead rolls (must executive chefs down to the line cooks are male, and most owners as well) have to put on a tough exterior to make sure people obey them. If you are nice, you could get taken advantage of. That doesn't mean they aren't human, though. So no harm, but take no $h!+!
You never know with some folks unless you take the time. There used to be a local family run Greek restaurant a friend and I frequented. The two servers were sisters. S1 was usually our server and was smiley / friendly / nice. S2 just served us sometimes, didn't smile. Did her job but seemed like a bit of a B due to always looking unhappy. We got talking to her more and found out she had a painful foot condition and was saving up for an operation (bone spur or something - don't remember). So the frowns were just because it hurt her to walk around. we cared about her and she cared about us and we really saw a different side of her.
I had an English teacher who was old, wrinkled, gray-haired woman. I was scared to death of her. When I had to leave school to go to a foster home, I turned my book into her, she asked me why. When I told her she started to cry and hugged me.
If we didn't do it we would never form any social connections. You have to start somewhere.
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People who ignore things like accidentally spitting while talking or accidentally farting to not make you feel embarrassed
Like my mate at work who farted in the lift we were in, it was absolutely horrendous. So, we arrived on the ground floor, the doors opened and waiting was at least 10 co workers. My mate, dashed out waving his hands in front of his face shouting... "Andy you dirty bastard" and he ran off leaving me stood there!
Unless it's your friend of partner. Then, it's your duty to say one of the following: 'Is that for me? Thank you'; 'You didn't want that, no?'; 'No littering!'; 'Oooo bubbles'.
Im like this! (Except with my bff, if either of us does it, we'll just laugh about it or apologize)
A fantastic moment in my life was when my wife broke the fart barrier first.
Because an individual’s good is included in the good of the community, it makes it much easier to take the virtuous path when you’re not alone in doing so. According to Immanuel Kant, we are always fighting against the impulses and dispositions that oppose the moral law. We need strength of will and self-mastery to fulfill our imperfect duties, and this self-mastery Kant calls courage.
And surrounding oneself with people who are equally as courageous makes it more likely one will take a path of benevolence. Although Kant thinks that feelings cannot be required of anyone, some feelings are nevertheless associated with the moral ends we adopt. If we adopt others’ happiness as an end, we will not take malicious pleasure in their downfall.
When you are having an argument and they actually listen to your point instead of just getting ready to make theirs.
I've always been of the opinion that an argument is a lively discussion between two people who, if they are civilised and reasonable are searching for common ground for their views and if that common ground can't be found will agree to be friends who have differing views on a subject then move on ...
Load More Replies...And people who let you build your point after listening to theirs. I’ve gotten into arguments with family who declare they’ve won because I’m quiet for a few seconds after they finish talking. No, I wasn’t realizing you were right, I was considering your point and figuring out what to say.
I have great respect for people who I disagree with and have strong views if they have solid reasons for those views (as long as they're not prejudiced reasons) This is the kind of person you can have an actual conversation about stuff with. Rarer than hen's teeth..
I always try to have civil debates with solid reasoning, but more often than not the other person isn't on board
Load More Replies...I once saw that in a relationship, when you have a problem, it is not you vs your partner, its you and your partner vs the problem
Arguments can actually be fun in a way when this happens
I have to actively work on this one. Good news, I do actually stop and listen but I still have to remind myself.
Whether you're looking for a romantic partner, business partner, or friend, just remember conflict resolution is part of any relationship. So find people who's methods of dealing with conflict mesh well with yours
Or someone you can adapt to and they can adapt to you. Sometimes husband has bad day snaps at me and I call him on it.....but when we first started living together I would take defense and we would fight for an hour withput reason. Now we call each other out and get right to issue really there
Load More Replies...People actually do listen? My husband just walks away "to clear his head" but we never pick back up. I don't even bother telling him I'm angry anymore.
Then his behavior is achieving exactly what he wants it to and you get to feel like a doormat. This is no way to maintain a relationship.
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People who don't kill spiders but gently relocate them to outside.
I also don't kill spiders. Instead, I relocate myself somewhere else.
Australian weighing in: depends on role of spider and toxicity. I'll happily coexist with common window spiders, even huntsmans if appropriate. But I draw the line at white tails and redbacks because of the side effects of their bites. Daddyblong legs always welcome.
I hope it still counts if you’re shouting “OMG OMG OMG get out of my house” whilst trying to be brave with an extendable feather duster.
I don't even relocate them. They are my insect repellent. They get to stay inside.
Mostly, yes, even though I genuinely have arachnophobia. However, if it's a black widow or a recluse (that is, something that could easily kill my fur babies or my neighbor's fur babies), then they gotta die.
I say I'm putting them outside, but instead I put them in another room. I don't want them getting cold!
I once found a rather large jumping spider in my bathroom. He didn't notice me because he was too busy trying to pick a fight with his reflection in the side of the faucet. He was fascinating to watch. I relocated him to the windowsill in my garage where there was already a graveyard of flies and gnats that had become stuck there. I hope he had good hunting.
They pick up litter and put it in the bin without posting a picture on social media saying "You guysss this is so depressing to see :'("
It is very satisfying to see before and after picks though. Like posting a pic of a field filled with trash and then a few hours later posting a pic of the clean field.
And if it can incite people to do the same, social média or not, it's a good thing.
Load More Replies...I’d respond, “you’re right. I miss the days when we could do a good deed without needing to take credit for it on our social, too.”
I was always told that if you sought validation for a good deed, it didn't count.
Before we had kids I would occasionally go with my bf on his fishing trips to the beach/sea. I don't fish but I quickly got into the habit of collecting trash on the beach while he was fishing. I think he was actually proud of me because sometimes I found a LOT! Now I only collect trash when I'm out with the stroller trying to get my youngest to nap. Lol.
I actually did that 'challenge' where you find a natural space people dump a lot of trash and clean it up. Never took pics but I did it on a river out of a kayak. Sixty something bags of trash.. I admit I'm still a bit proud of that. Bet it's already a mess again though lol.
However, life is a complex entity and not everything is as easy as pursuing a moral state of happiness. It may seem obvious that one cannot respond to all appeals for help. This suggests that being a helpful person requires some thinking about what is most important in one’s life. So we should not expect helping behavior to be wholly consistent, given the complex situations in which persons find themselves.
Albert Camus wrote in The Plague: “On the whole, men are more good than bad; that, however, isn’t the real point. But they are more or less ignorant, and it is this that we call vice or virtue; the most incorrigible vice being that of an ignorance that fancies it knows everything and therefore claims for itself the right to kill. The soul of the murderer is blind; and there can be no true goodness nor true love without the utmost clear-sightedness.”
Admonishes people for being rude to wait staff. I was at a family dinner at a pub/restaurant years ago, and my sister was very rude to the waiter because her steak was overcooked or something, really went hard on him, and my brother's new girlfriend, who always seemed a shy and quiet person, told my sister to basically stop being a b***h and that the waiters didn't cook the food, and you're embarrassing all of us, everyone's looking at us etc.
From that point on, I knew she was a good sort.
Also if they don't direct the criticism against someone, e.g. instead of "hey stop being a b***h", they say "it's better we are all kind to people as this particular error was not their direct fault."
Sometimes the offending party needs to be called out.
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I used to have a riding instructor who, while not outwardly mean, was pretty firm and expected every student to heed her words. She never struck me as a bad person or anything, but I had never seen her show any love toward the horses. She didn't treat them poorly, she always watched for injuries, illnesses, a rock in their hooves, improper tack fit, etc, but she wasn't one to hug and kiss on the animals. She treated them kind of like tools, because, well, she paid a lot of money to buy those horses and even more money to get them into working shape, so naturally, she tried to get as much out of them as she could.
There came a day when she called all the students, including myself, over to where she was sitting. We were told that the stable's most popular horse, Fiddle, had passed away the night before. Fiddle was the first horse I ever rode and he never gave anybody any issues, never a glare, a buck, a bite, nothing. Anyway, my instructor told us that the horse was clearly unwell and she called the vet. The vet had her take old Fiddle to the arena and try to get him to the center jump. Fiddle couldn't make it that far. He laid down and the vet euthanized him there. Fiddle was 18 and suffered kidney failure. I had never seen my instructor display any strong emotions, but she couldn't stop herself from tearing up. It became very clear that, while she may not have always shown it, she loved the c**p outta those horses.
I later learned that my instructor would give Fiddle days off if it was really hot or if he gave her a look that said, "I can't do this today." She retired many months ago but still comes to the stables frequently.
Sorry for the long story.
My husband didn't have much to do with our hedgehog, Stella Luna, but when she passed, he showed all the emotions with me when we buried her and had to say goodbye. It was then that he revealed that that was why he didn't want a lot of pets because you always have to say goodbye. I loved him even more that day to see how deeply he really cares about animals.
That's a lovely story, & I'm glad you shared it. It took me a long time to realize that just because some people don't show emotion easily, it doesn't mean they don't feel things deeply.
they don't ask question that might hurt other people. like "why ur not married yet?" or "why u don't have kids?"
"not to be [homophobic/racist/sexist/etc.] but... [something offensive]"
Load More Replies...I sometimes ask questions I shouldn't, not because of any malice, but because I'm just curious about people. I'll realize after the fact what I've done and feel bad about it. I just hope people can sense I mean well.
Sometimes people really think nothing of it, so it's better to educate them and make them aware how a question can hurt others (give them the benefit of the doubt). So it's not the question that makes them bad, but refusing to understand that questions can hurt.
Isn't it both though? If they understand they do not ask that question? If they don't understand/don't give a f**k, they do ask?
Load More Replies...This needs to be higher! I get asked this a bunch and it's like the reason I don't have kids is none of your business..
Wouldn't it somewhat depend on the relationship between the two people and how they ask? The examples given would be generally rude as stated. However, a parent asking their child what happened to the person they were seeing because you know they were talking marriage might open a necessary conversation that the child has been putting off or holding onto so as not to deal with it.
People who are raised properly, to be civil, polite human beings, understand that it's rude to ask others deeply personal questions. If some barbarian asks an intrusive question you are well within your rights to give the a withering "I'm sorry, that's not a subject I care to discuss." You are in no way required to answer the questions of others, unless it's a valid work question while you're at work.
The one that kills me is 'have you gone to the doctor to see why you're not able to have kids?' No, but I know exactly why I've had 2 miscarriages. Its because of my diabetes. It breaks me every time. Especially when they ask 'Are you sure they were miscarriages?' Considering the positive test and the fact I contemplated taking my own life the 2nd time (talked to a therapist on the 2nd one..) I'd say yes.
So what does this all mean? One thing is that a good moral character is not something that we can achieve on our own. Both other people and public institutions must lead with similar values in order for us to have the best chance at a virtuous life. But it shouldn’t be misconstrued with obedience.
Rachana Kamtekar, a professor of philosophy at Cornell University, states that “Goodness is expressed through loving, kindness, generosity of spirit and deed, and the thoughtful consideration of others. It can be as simple as offering to let someone ahead of you in line and as complicated as making yearlong sacrifices of your freedom because someone you love needs your help. Over the course of a lifetime, most of us do both.”
As you continue scrolling through this list, make sure you’re upvoting your favorites, leaving comments along the way, and sharing your own thoughts on what makes one a good person. See you all in the next one!
They say “take your time”
Depends on the situation. If they're waiting for you with a gun pointed at you to dig your own grave... Not so good.
Why? I'd rather take my time digging my grave than just make a basic hole in the ground 😁
Load More Replies...Honestly this is a big deal? LOL who knew I was a nice person? It is an automatic reaction when some one is busy... " i am in no hurry, or take your time. " It makes them actually seem to move, talk smoother and the flow seems better.
This is huge on anything dealing with customers. Especially when super busy and dealing with AH customers.
Load More Replies...When someone gives you time, he's giving you something he knows he can never get back.
As a restaurant manager, hearing someone say "take your time" can turn the worst day around. More people need to understand that we are intentionally understaffed (by upper management) 99% of the time and have to do literally everything to run the restaurant most days.
When someone is actually in trouble/needs help, they will help out, even if it's really subtle or disguised as something else.
For instance, there was a kid in my school who had a reputation for not caring about others, doing whatever he wanted, and tried to convince everyone that he pretty much had "no emotions". I think he thought it made him seem more tough and hardcore, and although he didn't necessarily do anything bad to anyone, he tried not to seem kind either.
Once, one of my friends at school had some sort of emergency where she needed (I think) $30. Most people in class either didn't have $30 (which was quite a bit for a kid to bring to school) to loan her, or they just didn't want to give it to her, thinking they would never get it back, and she was panicking. The teachers couldn't help her for some sort of legal reason (I think she wanted to take a Taxi to the hospital because something had happened to a family member but was slightly underage, and the teachers had to pretend that they had no idea she was doing this).
So, this kid with the "reputation" collected money from all of his friends (since he didn't have the money himself), under the pretense of another reason - I think it was something like movie tickets or something for that evening. Then, he privately gave it to her, but told her not to tell anyone it was him (I was close friends with her and was actually standing right next to her when he approached us and told us this). She managed to get to the hospital on time, while he paid for the tickets or whatever with his own money once he got home. When she later offered to pay him back, he refused, insisting that he didn't do anything (I think he knew that her family would struggle to pay that back, they were having some financial trouble).
I guess it's not extremely subtle in my case since I was standing RIGHT THERE, but that was the first time I began realizing how some people pretended to not be a good person when they actually were.
I’ve got kinda the opposite type of story. Lent a kid a few dollars for ice cream, under the pretense that he would pay me back, he never did, and after asking about it a few times we became enemies, mostly him though. From sixth grade all the way through high school he tried to make everyone hate me, all over $3. He was also a very devout Christian type, which taught me a lot
Makes sense, showing that you care, especially as a young dude, can get you screwed over hardcore in so SO many ways.
Most people in black with super heavy tattoos or lots of piercings....
People who make excuses to do good deeds.
Picking you up from the airport? "Oh, it was on my way."
Buying you a beer? "I accidentally ordered two."
Helping you move? "I need the work out! Now I don't have to go to the gym later!"
Volunteering at an event? "I had nothing else going on tonight, I'm just here 'cause my buddy asked me to."
Anyone who does a favor for you and then acts like you're doing them a favor, or brushes the favor off as nothing, is a person who is doing the good deed for the sake of it and not for the praise or clout they receive. These are the best kinds of people.
Sometimes it's nice to be told "Yea, of course I came, you needed a hand, and I went out of my way to help because you're my friend."
I usually think that’s kinder, too. I feel like brushing off all the time seems too dismissive.
Load More Replies...Some people like this are people-pleasers who can't help themselves and do these things at the expense of their own health
If others do it too, it doesn't go at the expense of yourself. I quit doing it for takers, who take advantage of it. I'd always bring a kid back with the bike, let him play here twice a week, cause my son liked to play with him and it was not much effort, I gladly did it for them. Why not? My parents always brought kids home. But once his dad started to bark, cause the free nanny wasn't good enough, bye. Sorry son. Play with kids from normal parents. They would also drop him off or let him play there.
Load More Replies...Where are my "it is physically impossible for me to say no to someone" people at
They have really happy cats. Shows that they're caring and nurturing
My favorite genre of pinterest search is "old slavic women with cats who adore them." That's a rabbit hole I can fall down all day.
I tried to google that and it took me to „Babushka Cats That Look Like Old Russian Ladies”. >.<
Load More Replies...Like people, some cats are just aloof. One of my favorite cats was Midnight. Didn't want anything to do with any of the people or the other two cats. Scritches were not appreciated. However, that cat was part border collie. It would herd every member of the house where they needed to be then go back and relax. Haven't done the dishes after dinner yet? -- meow at you until you were in the kitchen then go lay down in the empty bedroom.
I hope I am making my cats happy and that I'm not just a human hot water bottle for them.
My cat demands nothing less. If I misbehave ai receive a thorough dressing down
On the other hand, no matter how well they're treated, some cats are just surly.
yes, true. tho u can be a perfect mother/father to ur fur baby and still raise an adorable @sshole.
Someone who is willing to embarrass themselves in order to help someone else.
Does farting louder and longer than your pregnant wife in public count?? Asking for a friend
I've done this cause sometimes no one else wants to help an I'm generally worried about a situation.
They are given a chance to quietly talk bad about someone, but instead, says something good.
How is one “given a chance” to quietly talk bad about someone? Because, if you’re the one instigating that, YTA.
Not necessarily. "I can't believe Tim did that to me in the meeting today" "yeah, that was kinda mean, but totally out of character for him, wonder what's going on" maybe not nice per se, but there is no jump into the dis Tim bandwagon here and I have been part of/ hard conversations of a similar tone
Load More Replies...I always compliment people behind their back. It has earned me a great reputation in my career.
I am often nicer to people behind their backs than to their face. I am not great at giving compliments and sometimes it comes off as creepy or weird. However, if I am talking about somebody behind their backs I am much better at phrasing things well.
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When someone is honest, even at the detriment of themselves.
Ex they won't lie to save face
I've gotten myself into a lot of trouble because I'd rather be honest about myself than try to save face. I have my faults like everyone else but dishonesty either about myself or lying to someone else is not two of them!
I have gotten in even more trouble by lying to save face. It was something I had to unlearn from my childhood. I want to honest, but I hate disappointing people. The truth is you double or triple disappoint people by not telling the truth.
Load More Replies...I try my best to do this.. it's really difficult tho especially to my parents
I ordered 12 items online (okay, it was cans of Warhead soda!) a couple weeks ago and they accidentally sent 12 CASES! It was a relatively small company and I immediately messaged them. They sent me return shipping labels and told me I could keep a case. I refused because it was a small company and they were going to take a big loss on the shipping. The guy said he was surprised that I contacted them because most people wouldn't. I'd hope many people would do the right thing...
Agreed. My friends / relatives know I will not lie for them or for me. I will not repeat something I'm asked not to repeat, but I won't tell a lie in place of that truth they don't want me to say.
Me too.....like I need try remember that ..... I have enough trouble remembering what day it is.
Load More Replies...My parents were very strict about not lying, even if it would end up getting myself in trouble. I may be, first, in trouble for what I did. Second, I’ll be in even bigger trouble for lying. Tell the truth. Just tell the truth.
I didn't have to lie. You could just be honest. My mother was just sweet. I learned to lie when I got older, cause I had to, but it's tricky, cause you get good at it and it's bad when you don't have to do it, so now I have to do effort to not do it. Not saying something is not lying. I'm never gonna be a snitch. Ppl don't have to know everything, especially controlling ones, who are totally in the wrong and try to ruin ppl's lives. Corrie ten Boom said it was okay to lie sometimes. She had to learn how to lie. They hid Jews. But she also said that after the war she had gotten so used to it and now she had to do effort to not lie. My son once lied and I was like: oh my, sorry, was I such a controlling monster that you felt you had to lie? You can just be honest.
Load More Replies...My grampa taught me to take the praise for a job well done, and the critique for a mistake, and use them BOTH from then on.
When they actually respond/say something to homeless people asking for change instead of just ignoring/walking past them. A simple: “Sorry, man” or “Not today, sorry” Just an acknowledgement that they exist, instead of treating them as inanimate objects.
When I have time, I like to stop and talk to them for 5-10 minutes. I want to hear their story, and I'll give money if they're nice. I don't always have time, but I think the conversation and acknowledgement is sometimes worth more to them than cash.
I understand your premise but as someone who was homeless at one point, I just wanted to afford a pack of ramen from the dollar store. (Not so) fun fact, over half of the homeless population actually does work. It's the fact that they cannot afford a home.
Load More Replies...When I was homeless, I never could ask for money or anything, it just went against everything in my head. But occasionally, when I was getting myself ready to sleep in a doorway or similar, some people would come by and give me a drink, or some food. Occasionally, I wake up and find some change placed very near me. Which was so thoughtful.
This person wasn't homeless, I don't think, but he was playing an instrument at a metrorail stop and I was listening to him play. Other people stopped but just walked past, or didn't stop at all. As I had enough money to get home, I gave him most of what I had one me. His look of gratitude just made my day. I had been able to make someone else feel good. That's what matters.
I respond. But I think for some who don't it is out of self defense rather than "looking down" on the person for being homeless. Some of the panhandlers around her are pretty aggressive and if you engage them they pester you more. some folks get kind of freaked out by that or scared and so they try to avoid engaging.
I am a short woman. I am absolutely terrified a drug addict is going to attack me any time someone walks up to me asking for something. I always cut them off with "no, thank you" regardless of why someone is walking up to me. I was also a trucker for a while and in training they beat it into you that you do not stop to help people because that's how you get murdered.
Load More Replies...If I have cash I give it. I don't ask why they are there, what they're going to do with it etc. It's enough that someone is sat on the pavement begging for money, no one's doing that and driving off in a sports car - no matter what The Daily Fail tells you..
I was told not to give anything because they would just go off and spend it on drugs, but honestly, screw that. If that's what you need to get through another day, so be it.
Load More Replies...Our country (SA) is heavily digitised, we have almost abandoned cash except for people on the street. I specifically go to the bank each month to get coins for these guys because they don't carry card machines.
my husband is the sweetest person I know. and the number of times he's taken off jumpers he's wearing to give to homeless people, or, because we don't often carry much cash, asked "can I go in that shop and get you something?" he came to pick me up from a work Christmas do and he had just a t shirt on and said while he was waiting he stopped for a chat with a homeless guy, gave him his jumper and asked if he could get him something, and the guy said he wanted a bottle of coke. he went in and got two two litre bottles and a pastie for him. he's the best person I know. that's why I married him.
OMG...this! It costs nothing to be nice, but can mean the world to the other person.
It depends on where you are... I don't engage them in Paris - they are mostly professionals.
So are many of them in the US. Panhandling can pay better than most jobs you can get with a college degree.
Load More Replies...exactly. or at least, looking them in the eye and apologising if you haven't got any change on you. they're still people, and deserve to be treated like people. I remember one guy we had a chat with, he pointed over a hedge to his tent (it was in a sort of planted up area around a retail park) and we had a really nice chat. had no cash on us, but went into Poundland and got him some socks, gloves, a thermal hat, a crossword book and pens and some snacks, wipes and drinks. it didn't cost us a lot, but I hope we made him feel seen as a real person, AND gave him a few basic comforts to keep him comfortable and pass the time. he was really grateful.
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Someone who's always quiet but raises their concern when they feel it's against theirs or someone's will.
I hope you have a good friend who will stand up for you
Load More Replies...That's how I lost my last office job, but I'd do it again in a heart beat. No one lays a hand on my sister even if my step-dad is my boss. He got in my face after and I pushed him out of my face and left. I'd never felt so angry and confident in what I was doing.
My best friend comes off kinda cold at times to others, I’ve always seen him for how warm he really is, just shy. But I always notice that anywhere he goes and if there are pets, they are like magnets to him.
The animals are the only reason i go to partys
Load More Replies...Husband for sure...HUGE cat magnet..... The cat neighborhood knows what time he home cuz there a dozen cats following h around and watching him.....we have one - a grumpy guy who is not always thrilled with how popular Dad is.
My boyfriend is an animal magnet! My Chiweenie barks at EVERYONE new who comes in the apartment... Except the first day he walked in with me! Not a peep! My sister's dogs too! Heck, her dog's bark at her HUSBAND when he comes home, but not my boyfriend!
Probably a boring answer, but I have this friend who I can just tell is really sincere when he asks how I’m doing. I appreciate anyone asking because it’s a convenient conversation starter, but with him I can tell he actually cares what the answer is.
This is sadly rather rare. It took me a while to understand most people use it as a part of the greeting rituals, and are not the least interested in knowing anything about how I actually happen to be at the time.
This is actually something I had to get used to in the other sense— where I live, it’s very much a courtesy question, but I’ve made a number of friends from other countries (I live in the US) and they’ve had to explain to me that when they ask how I’m doing, they don’t want the short courtesy answer. They’re genuinely curious. Amazing culture difference!
Load More Replies...I'm fine thank you Tiger, I have a fire lit by my best beloved, a glass of wine and a comfortable sofa. And yourself? You can always tell Aunty
Load More Replies...I hate that this is usually a courtesy question. If I ask how you're doing and you give me some BS "I'm good, you?" type of response, I know you're not being honest with me and I'll likely end the conversation soon. Unless, when I press a little more, you decide I'm actually asking, because I am actually asking. It's an invitation to talk and if you don't want to talk, I'll move on.
I've always told my friends. I may not be available right away, but if you need to vent or just talk to me send me a text or reach out on messenger I'll see it and respond. I will always try to get back to you because I do care.
i also do this. i also ask questions that read like i got em off a conversation starters website but its just random questions i have lol
It took me so long to realize that people just wanted me to respond with "Fine. And, you?" I didn't get diagnosed with Asperger's until I was 30. Smalltalk is hard for me. Being that I'm also very unlikely to talk to people I don't know without a good reason, it's really not so bad.
I am like this guy, but I'm never able to tell the truth when I'm asked. I really care whenever I ask someone, but I know everyone feels like they can't always tell the truth, even if the person asking actually cares.
I've discovered that often what *appears* to be indifference is actually an internal struggle of, "I am extremely concerned about this but I don't think that it's any of my f*****g business or requires my intervention."
Paradoxical as it might be, genuinely caring too much can be paralyzing. This is surely not the only case, but in these circumstances, there are so many considerations about an important thing that you enter fight/flight/freeze mode. Since many who feel such a deep concern may freeze for being unable to solve the issue, this can appear as indifference, but it keeps coming back to mind mightily, showing it’s just the opposite.
me, worried about random wars going on that i have absolutely nothing to do with
On the flip side, some people get really upset over certain things because it's a violation of what they hold dear. Example: Seeming unreasonably angry about drivers who don't signal intent or cut you off dangerously. Had a friend like that. Found out later his dad got killed by such a driver so it was a deeply personal matter.
When they wait and hold the door open for you.
that happend to me once. I was walking into a store and a lady was holding a door open for me and i thought "oh thats nice of her" and then just as i was about to go through i said "thank you" and she slammed it in my face. Some people are just mean.
Load More Replies...I taught my son to hold doors for others when he was a toddler. The first time he recognized an automatic door he was confused and inquired, "What do I do now, Mommy?" Poor little tyke, the struggle was real. As an adult, he still opens doors for others. Phew.🙂
They don't brag.
yeah some people say om noce because i dont brag but i dont have anything to brag about. lol.
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When folks are piling on jokes on teases on someone that they don't know very well and the person quietly raises a point of kindness or empathy.
It's so easy to be mean spirited, especially in group settings.
It's harder to be kind in those situations.
They give credit to people who are not in the room.
When you tell them a secret and they keep it secret
My band director once gave me audition results a few days before they were officially posted, and said “please don’t tell anyone yet”. The next day he was talking to my parents about it, who had no idea what he was talking about… because I hadn’t told them…
My friend came up to me and said "I need to vent, but I know work is stressful for you right now, is it ok if I unload on you?" The fact that she had the awareness and was kind enough to realize that I don't necessarily always have the mental fortitude to take on her problems as well as my own shook me to the core. I try to do this whenever I need to vent to a friend now.
I love it when people are good deceptively. Like when they give you the shoes you’ve been wanting but can’t afford because “they were the wrong size and it’s too late for me to take them back” or when they claim they found $20 in your couch cushions but you know it’s from their own wallet. The kind of lying that’s to keep people from thanking them is the best kind of lying there is.
When I go see my moush I slip a note into one of her coat pockets. Hopefully when she puts it on she just thinks she’s forgotten putting it in there. But we grew up poor and I know trying to get her to accept anything face to face is hard for her, even gifts! That’s my little way of giving back
Recently my boss and I were waiting for a train in London, I see him hurrying back up the stairs. He had seen a woman on her own approaching the stairs with a pushchair and instinctively dashed up to assist her. Must have been 50 people around us that either didn't see or didn't care enough to act.
This would be me I just have to help people when it comes to things like this. Because I know how it feels and I'd want someone to possible help me someday.........
Had a teacher growing up that was came across as very strict and standoffish, gave off this air of "learn the material or fail." In reality though, he would answer any questions you had, even if it was being repeated, was incredibly patient, and would stay as late as he needed to in order to make sure the students understood the material. If a majority of the class bombed a test he would address it with the class to understand what went wrong, and would redo the material if needed.
Looking at him or just popping by his class, you'd think he'd be a typical hardass, but in reality he cared immensely about making sure we understood our lessons and were prepared for the next year.
My ex wife's father was diagnosed with a stage 4 cancer. About 2 months before he passed, my in-laws' apartment burned down. No renter's insurance, almost everything went up in smoke due to electrical fire. They moved in with us. Right around same time my AC went, so I called a friend of a friend and he came out to look at AC. Did a $800 or so job and we were just shooting s**t and I told him casually about the fire. He wouldn't take a penny and told me to use the money to buy something for her parents at their new place. Bedding, whatever stuff they needed. Wouldn't take the money, full stop. I used the money for their security deposit on the place. None of our so called 'close' friends did such thing. No one bothered to even ask how they can help. About 6 months later, he invited us to his birthday party. We went and I said a toast, telling everyone how good of a person he was. I had a hard time finishing the toast, because almost everyone choked up. Except my ex, who looked at me like I was scum. When we got home, she said: "I was so embarrassed you were singing him praises. You don't even know this man and yet it was like you were trying to climb up his a*s. You're pathetic." It didn't matter what the did, apparently, because I put out the cash. The fact that I was going to pay that money to him and he didn't take it, giving it to her parents apparently didn't matter So here are the two opposites. No regrets.
Your ex sounds like mine who started a full-on fight because I gave money back to a worker at McDonald's drive-thru who gave me a few bucks too much change. That's when I fully realized my ex was a totally garbage person.
Happened to me, too. One time I ordered pizza & when the driver got there he gave me two. I said, "No, I only ordered one" & he was so thankful, said he could have gotten fired. When I walked inside, my ex totally yelled at me for being so stupid that we could have gotten a fee pizza. No, dude. Just no.
Load More Replies...An old friend of mine is complete gym freak, womaniser and used to get into his fair share of fights on nights out. One night there was a guy in a wheelchair on his own trying to have a good night but was struggling to get around, and also due to his disability was struggling to talk to bar staff and order. My friend befriended him and proceeded to make sure he had the best night ever. He made space for him on the dance floor, ordered his drinks and made sure he got home safe too. He puts on this big persona of being a "lad" but I know he showed his true colours that night. He still goes on nights out with the guy in the wheelchair.
I was at school with a guy who was the king of the cool kids. He was always getting busted for breaking school rules (drinking, smoking, bad mouthing the teachers and so on). In fact, he did a bit of jail time later (for non-violent low-level drug dealing). I was the uber-geek of the school. I didn't get bullied as such, but I remember one time that his cool-gang kids were ribbing me a bit too much, and he stepped in and told them to cool it, and a bit later, when I won the school academic prize, he went out of his way to sincerely congratulate me.
In fact, a few years later (and after the jail time) he became pretty well known as a TV personality and had his own show, where he was generally lauded as giving the impression of being a really nice guy (which, in this case, he was).
This kinda reminds me of a high school classmate of mine. He was a clown for sure but extremely smart. I don't mean academically, because I don't know what his grades were like, but he was really witty and quick with a joke. He wasn't really a part of the cool crowd - the preppy kids you could tell were well off. He came across more as a bit of a freak, the kind that listens to hard rock and might even dabble in drugs, but he just kind of floated between cliques and mostly got along with everyone. I was really quiet and awkward, and there were multiple occasions that he made a point to include me or give me a compliment.
You must actually catch them in action, because they will not call attention to themselves in any way. They're the ones who allow others to merge in traffic or stop short of a commercial driveway to let a car out into traffic. They'll see a cart abandoned in the lot, walk to it, and take it into the store to use. They'll bring coupons from home that they won't use and place them on the market shelves for others. They'll call the cashier by name, engage them in conversation rather than play with their phone, and make them smile.
Agree with everything, But, the coupons , as a retail worker the coupons on the shelf get thrown away when you're straighting up the shelf, it's better to ask other customers if they can use it.
Not being judgy towards other peoples choices. They hear other people out and built an opinion that takes into consideration, where the person is coming from.
Look at from all sides and stand in there shoes for a moment not hard when you've been there or had a family member there.
they say they are not a good person, and can give you examples of times they have done things wrong. truly bad people cannot admit to or even recognize when they have done wrong. This is basically the "what are your strengths and weaknesses?" question in job interviews. If they say I have no weaknesses and I never do wrong, chances are they are a sociopath. It's more likely than them actually being perfect.
Or they just want to pass the freaking interview I aways try to be honest as much as I can but......it very hard during an interview because you don't know what that gonna mean for the job.
I think that someone is a good person when they can admit that they are wrong and take responsibility for it.
People who pick up nails and screws in parking lots so others do not get flats. Real MVPS
A person who brings their shopping cart to the cart coral when they are done with it.
In France it wouldn't be a sign. Here you have to put à coin in the cart to get it, and bring it back to recover your coin 😊
Being quiet, polite and willing to help. Or anyone who isn’t self centered generally leans to being a good person.
The chair of my department at my university scared the s**t out of me. He was very stern and looked angry to the untrained eye. His class was notorious for being insanely difficult, and I tried to avoid him the first two years of school. I think he tried to curate an air of authority, but I’m not entirely sure he meant for it to be so… effective. And then… I had to get him to sign something for independent research on a Friday. I walked into the pod and “Party in the USA” was playing. He was dancing in his office when I walked up to the doorway. With a fully straight face and little no affect in his voice, he said, “I see you aren’t dancing! That’s alright, I believe it’s your first Top 40 Friday. However, I expect to see some dancing next time. Do you have something for me to sign?” And that’s when I learned that he was Just *Like That*. He was frozen in a stern expression, with a naturally cranky sounding voice, but didn’t really feel that way most of the time. Another time I was at an honor’s gathering, chatting with a group of people. Adjacent to us, Dr. Department Chair was chatting with some students. One of them asked a question, and I leaned in to answer it. He very sternly said, “You. Get over here and join this conversation. You do not need to hesitate to jump into this group.” It was a very pushy way of saying “Hey, you are valuable to this conversation and I want you to know that you are allowed to participate.” A year later, a symposium for the department had free pizza for all attending. He was running around for the last 30 minutes informing *all* of students present that there was *still* pizza and he was going to get in *so* much trouble with his wife if he brought too much of it home again. “Miss Hashbrown, you have been manning your poster for over an hour. Are you *sure* you’ve had enough to eat? If any of you are secretly hungry and just being polite, I will know! The department only has a few events a year, and I want everyone to leave them well fed.” Still very stern, very serious, but *very* intent on all of us having a full dinner (and not spoiling his wife’s upcoming dinner and lunch plans with leftover pizza).
They acknowledge a comment made in a group that nobody else does. By either addressing it or locking eyes w the person who made it and letting them know
When they do yard work or snow removal for a an older or disadvantaged neighbor regularly all under the guise of keeping up the curb appeal or property values of the neighborhood
You can see the fear/pain in their eyes when others get hurt.
And feel it in the body when you see someone get hurt! Even just in movies or real on video!
One who does good and genuinely does not realize. It’s these people I feel are almost inherently good. Doing good comes to them as a second nature. They’re rare, but they do exist.
When they notice subtle signs you become tense or uncomfortable and they either back away or ask if they did anything to cause it.
When they're not insecure about their partner's success. My mom earns quite a bit more than my dad. My relatives are all of the typical Indian 'old fashioned mindset'. I mean they still think that my dad 'letting' my mom work is ridiculous. On top of that, the fact that she earns more than him is like a very common statement I've seen people use to make fun of my dad. But not once did he ever care about it. In fact, he even brings it up himself sometimes, and happily tells people that my mom earns more than him. He's not perfect by any means, but that's one thing about him I'm really proud of. AND it taught me a valuable lesson which I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have learned otherwise, based on the mindset of a LOT of my colleagues/friends/classmates.
They yield to people that approach an elevator first, hold doors, and are pleasant/patient with people in the service industry.
People who don't mock others for problems they're going through, basically; they avoid belitteling others despite having numerous opportunities to do so esp in family/large gatherings.
Not exactly subtle but someone who learns to communicate with foreigners in their native language. Every little bit helps.🤷♂️
They say they “don’t like helping people” but they continue to help others, and go for a job/occupation that is centered around helping/protecting others. My best friend is like that. She is in the military more specifically the National Guard, and always stands for what’s right, and helps others. She cares about other people more than she does herself, and will go above, and beyond to help someone/be there for them, and keep them safe despite her saying “I don’t like helping people”. Her helpful actions are what led to her becoming my best friend, and I’ve had her in my life since middle school. I’ve never met a more pure perfect human being than her.
Definitely the way they treat animals. My husband went through a lot of a trauma and in order to break free of his "people pleaser" mode, he kind of turned into an a*****e. But seeing how gentle he is with animals/children and how much he loves them, I knew he still had a soft heart. He still struggles with being assy to protect himself but he's definitely shown more of his loving side over the years. On the flip side. I had a family member who loved to pretend they were a "good person" but abused and neglected their pets or at least yelled at them constantly when we were around. After a while we realized they had a mean heart.
They keep themselves locked away in their emotion and refused to take anything from anybody, but at the end of they day would give everything they have to someone who needs it more. Idk why reading this hit my heart..
Being Patient with someone who is new to anything. New hobby? Yep. New Job? Yep. New Home? Yep.
Often introverts get overlooked or people assume we are not interested or don't WANT to participate. It's just that we hold back. Sometimes it's that we need the space to contribute. Sometimes it is that we feel we don't have anything further to add. It doesn't mean we are not engaged.
When someone is in a high position of leadership, but knows everyone's name - without an agenda. I had a CEO once who was like this. He had the reputation of being a stern, emotionless man. But, he made the effort of knowing everyone's name in our building (about 80 people) without making a show about it. He would always address you by your name when speaking to you and would do the small things like pass you in the hallway and say "Hey [name], good to see you".
They don't f*****g care. I mean that. You screwed up. You did something wrong. They don't f*****g care you're human. They've been there. Then they don't f*****g care if you saw them be nice/do something. They did it because its the RIGHT THING TO DO
When they simply *do* things that benefit / helping others without telling everyone that their about to do that thing. If you're announcing it, you're doing it for the praise and attention. If no one knows it was you, it's for others.
I have this friend that’s pretty hard. Been through a lot since a young age, and if you saw him at night you might cross the road (big Ukrainian dude, few tats, buff as hell and wears wife beaters a lot). I know he’s a good person cuz I’m close to him, but most other people seem to pick up on it when they see how he talks to service workers. He’s always as respectful as possible and even tries to fake a smile sometimes. Also, his demeanor noticeably changes if he sees he’s making someone uncomfortable. He can’t really help the scary a*s resting look he has but switches up consciously if someone looks unnerved.
It’s a man’s undershirt. Tank top style. Not sure where these others got their explanations from.
Load More Replies...People who see you struggling with multiple items or a heavy item and offer to help carry something to relieve you a bit
When said person is in need and won't ask for help but are the first to give the shirt off their back for you.. or simply show respect to the elderly. That s**t goes far in my book
Ooo the reverse of people who act like they care but their actions prove otherwise. People who act like they’re judgmental, selfish, lack compassion, etc. but their actions show that they are the opposite. When it counts, they do things that really matter and make a positive impact.
When someone doesnt split people into 'good person' or 'bad person', aside from psychopaths or whatever else 1% group of people, everyone is good sometimes, bad sometimes, depending on lifes situations. People should be split into joyful or miserable, optimistic or pessimistic, when someone has that good energy about them, being kind and happy and playful OR when someone is always pessimistic, judgemental without information, sad and enjoying being sad, etc. Basically people should be judged about their outlook on life, the aura they give off, how they act when nobody else is watching, etc. Not how they describe themselves or what virtue signalling they engage in.
People who can always find the good in a situation, no matter how s****y.
Not so sure about this one. Toxic positivity can be very undermining. Not allowing a person to express situationally appropriate negative emotions (grief, anger, despair etc) invalidates their feelings. Someone relentlessly demanding that you look on the bright side, or makes thoughtless comments like 'worse things happen at sea" and when "life gives you lemons.." type clichés makes you feel as though you're being dismissed, that your reaction is wrong in some way.
I had a boss like that, positive to the point of delusional. He wasnt trying to be toxic, but it was exhausting. On the other hand I have a friend who somehow manages to be positive without being dismissive. One of the best people I know 🙂
Load More Replies...Surprising others with gifts but not necessarily things (also nice gestures) and having no need to brag about doing it
When someone does some big brain moves that’s helpful to everyone, but doesn’t like the attention
If they pay for, like, a small meal, like a pizza, or a small amount of weed or something, and just go “Hey man dont worry about paying me back”. I try to do that when Im not REALLY poor.
Misdirection but not in a malicious way. I worked with a guy who excelled at portraying himself as unstable. He did this because in his job it was easier to have people think you were a little unbalanced because they would not only leave you alone unless they had to deal with you generally but would also do what you told them just to get away from you faster. The reason he got away with it was because he produced. You could drop him into any situation and it would get fixed. Some of his closer associates would play 'victim' to his 'unstable' actions and word would spread. That is how he kept up the illusion. The twist is he would do anything for anyone if they asked nicely. The catch was he literally tell them to not mention him or the thing he did for them to anyone. The man was a ghost, working in the shadows, and it was all a long con.
The person who asks, "How are you?" and genuinely wants to know, giving responses that show understanding.
For me it's a combination of things. Speaking up for someone who is not present, listening, empathy.
Look at them at moments when they don’t expect you to. You might see a gentle smile on their face. Honestly, it’ll make your day.
one day you realize that, whenever you talk to this person, they don't talk about themselves incessantly and actually show an interest in *your* life too.
When they try to shoo away the little bluebirds circling around them.
When you're in bed with them and they're about to go down on you and they say "get comfy for me?" before going to town. <3
Nice try Sociopath
I've just lost the love of my life, my partner and best friend for the last 3 years. He had all of these qualities in abundance and the best part is, I see those qualities have been passed on to his son (J) and he (J) will pass those on to his kids, and that way, my beloved man's legacy will live on and that gives me great comfort x
That's wonderful to see Rens, I hope this gives you comfort in this time
Load More Replies...Don’t the vast majority of these revolve around the core belief of valuing everyone? Valuing the quiet ones, the ones less fortunate than yourself, the ones who need a helping hand or shoulder to lean on, seeing the value in the hurt or damaged, giving others a voice, uniting with those who will gain strength from having an ally or friend and valuing themselves, putting their ego aside and giving themselves to others. This isn’t difficult when you realise everyone has the same value, 1, we are all worth 1, no one is less valuable, no one is more valuable. 1 is enough, it’s equal with others regardless of status, religion, sex, sexuality, religion, colour of socks or favourite ABBA song, we are all worth 1 even the ones who like pineapple on pizzas, 1. Treat your fellows 1s with love and care, promote their strengths, support in times of weakness. Remember you are 1 too. All equal. 1.
I think it also comes from being secure in your own sense of self-worth. You don't need to prove anything, you don't need constant validation, you don't feel like you're losing if you don't always have things your way, and so on. You know you're not diminished by giving of yourself to others.
Load More Replies...A specific thing I’d like to mention. I have a disabling untreatable disease that makes life very difficult. I barely talk about it, especially with new people. But now and again I get to know someone and it crops up. I tend to try and gloss over it but will give minimal information. Most people don’t say much or change the topic. This bit has only happened maybe twice in my life, but someone has gone away and googled my illness. They come back and tell me “Hey I’ve been reading about it. It sounds so horrible. Tell me more about how it affects you.” And it makes me fill up with so much emotion that someone would do that to try and understand. I think it’s a mark of a really good/special person.
I love this post. A lot of these are things I try to pass on to my kids, and are qualities I see in my husband. Before we got married he had a reputation around town, my parents thought he was no good, etc etc, but I just knew he was a good one. The day I knew I'd marry him we were visiting a big city and were approached by a homeless man. Instead of ignoring him, my (then bf) didn't even hesitate in giving him some money. We were broke kids at this time so it wasn't easy to part with money either. He didn't make a big show of it or anything either, but I noticed over the weekend he donated over $100 altogether to those we met, and stopped to chat with them, listen to them play music, one man even made up a poem for me 🤣 Even now, every time we travel to the city he makes sure to set aside a "donation budget".
This post actually brought tears to my eyes because I recognize myself in almost all but here I sit...alone
This list has helped me reaffirm I'm not nuts. Someone told me the other day that they thought a person was a good person if they did good things *regardless of intent* (ie: even if the person only helped out because they were promised payment, otherwise they wouldn't have helped - that apparently doesn't matter). I tried to understand how they equated it... and I just gave up after they said a person doesn't need a conscience to be a good person. So... yeah... this list has helped me confirm I didn't fall down the rabbit hole...
I live this way 99.999% of the time, but the one thing I do tend to get a bit weak on is putting my grocery cart back in the corral, only at one store. I have mobility issues, and some days, just getting the cart around the cars that park too close and block access to the corral is more than I can manage, so I leave the cart at the front end of the enclosure. It's my city's tiny grocery store, and there are a lot of us elderly people who have to do that. The staff is great about understanding our issues, and they pick up carts frequently so that there are no parking problems. All other stores, no matter how much it hurts, I take my cart to the corral, but they have them set up in such a manner that they can't be blocked.
The best ones are those who just quietly go about their own business, but have the awareness that others aren't in the best of mindsets. They may not say or do anything noticeable to anyone but the distressed person, but they do something appropriate that's at least a little helpful and kind. I have a fair number of such friends, and strive to be that kind of person myself. But it seems as if, on the hardest days (I'm in constant pain from a serious injury incurred 8 years ago), there's someone random who's kind to me, unexpectedly, and genuinely. Makes life a bit more enjoyable both ways.
First most of these signs are not subtle. Second I wonder why all this positive behavior is admired? Just do it instead of saying how cool are others for doing this or that... it's not rocket science nor any heroism, it's simply respect for animals, human beings and so on. And its not very hard to do yourself. Just saying...
I've just lost the love of my life, my partner and best friend for the last 3 years. He had all of these qualities in abundance and the best part is, I see those qualities have been passed on to his son (J) and he (J) will pass those on to his kids, and that way, my beloved man's legacy will live on and that gives me great comfort x
That's wonderful to see Rens, I hope this gives you comfort in this time
Load More Replies...Don’t the vast majority of these revolve around the core belief of valuing everyone? Valuing the quiet ones, the ones less fortunate than yourself, the ones who need a helping hand or shoulder to lean on, seeing the value in the hurt or damaged, giving others a voice, uniting with those who will gain strength from having an ally or friend and valuing themselves, putting their ego aside and giving themselves to others. This isn’t difficult when you realise everyone has the same value, 1, we are all worth 1, no one is less valuable, no one is more valuable. 1 is enough, it’s equal with others regardless of status, religion, sex, sexuality, religion, colour of socks or favourite ABBA song, we are all worth 1 even the ones who like pineapple on pizzas, 1. Treat your fellows 1s with love and care, promote their strengths, support in times of weakness. Remember you are 1 too. All equal. 1.
I think it also comes from being secure in your own sense of self-worth. You don't need to prove anything, you don't need constant validation, you don't feel like you're losing if you don't always have things your way, and so on. You know you're not diminished by giving of yourself to others.
Load More Replies...A specific thing I’d like to mention. I have a disabling untreatable disease that makes life very difficult. I barely talk about it, especially with new people. But now and again I get to know someone and it crops up. I tend to try and gloss over it but will give minimal information. Most people don’t say much or change the topic. This bit has only happened maybe twice in my life, but someone has gone away and googled my illness. They come back and tell me “Hey I’ve been reading about it. It sounds so horrible. Tell me more about how it affects you.” And it makes me fill up with so much emotion that someone would do that to try and understand. I think it’s a mark of a really good/special person.
I love this post. A lot of these are things I try to pass on to my kids, and are qualities I see in my husband. Before we got married he had a reputation around town, my parents thought he was no good, etc etc, but I just knew he was a good one. The day I knew I'd marry him we were visiting a big city and were approached by a homeless man. Instead of ignoring him, my (then bf) didn't even hesitate in giving him some money. We were broke kids at this time so it wasn't easy to part with money either. He didn't make a big show of it or anything either, but I noticed over the weekend he donated over $100 altogether to those we met, and stopped to chat with them, listen to them play music, one man even made up a poem for me 🤣 Even now, every time we travel to the city he makes sure to set aside a "donation budget".
This post actually brought tears to my eyes because I recognize myself in almost all but here I sit...alone
This list has helped me reaffirm I'm not nuts. Someone told me the other day that they thought a person was a good person if they did good things *regardless of intent* (ie: even if the person only helped out because they were promised payment, otherwise they wouldn't have helped - that apparently doesn't matter). I tried to understand how they equated it... and I just gave up after they said a person doesn't need a conscience to be a good person. So... yeah... this list has helped me confirm I didn't fall down the rabbit hole...
I live this way 99.999% of the time, but the one thing I do tend to get a bit weak on is putting my grocery cart back in the corral, only at one store. I have mobility issues, and some days, just getting the cart around the cars that park too close and block access to the corral is more than I can manage, so I leave the cart at the front end of the enclosure. It's my city's tiny grocery store, and there are a lot of us elderly people who have to do that. The staff is great about understanding our issues, and they pick up carts frequently so that there are no parking problems. All other stores, no matter how much it hurts, I take my cart to the corral, but they have them set up in such a manner that they can't be blocked.
The best ones are those who just quietly go about their own business, but have the awareness that others aren't in the best of mindsets. They may not say or do anything noticeable to anyone but the distressed person, but they do something appropriate that's at least a little helpful and kind. I have a fair number of such friends, and strive to be that kind of person myself. But it seems as if, on the hardest days (I'm in constant pain from a serious injury incurred 8 years ago), there's someone random who's kind to me, unexpectedly, and genuinely. Makes life a bit more enjoyable both ways.
First most of these signs are not subtle. Second I wonder why all this positive behavior is admired? Just do it instead of saying how cool are others for doing this or that... it's not rocket science nor any heroism, it's simply respect for animals, human beings and so on. And its not very hard to do yourself. Just saying...
