There is hardly anything better than waking up at the crack of dawn and making some English breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, a bit of toast with marmalade, and a large mug of Earl Grey tea. And what better way to enjoy this feast than by eating it whilst you read the morning newspapers?

Unfortunately, some newspaper headlines can make us do a spit-take and drench the entire page in delicious tea (splash of milk, no sugar). You know the type of headlines that I mean: unintentionally amusing, very silly, and quite obvious how stupid they are if the overworked editors would look at them with a pair of fresh eyes.

Our team at Bored Panda has run, flown, and swum all over the planet looking for hilarious and idiotic newspaper articles, all for your amusement. So put your reading glasses on, scroll down, and upvote the headlines you enjoyed. We’d love to hear about any peculiar and giggle-worthy headlines that you’ve come across; even better if you’ve come up with them yourselves!

#1

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

Rarely!?

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#2

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

Good thing he/she didn't become an engineer, then...

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#3

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Tracy Moorhead
Community Member
1 year ago

We're doing something right!!

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I adore newspapers, just like I love books, writing things in notebooks, watering my ficus tree, and sketching on real paper. They’re real things that don’t disappear once the power goes out, the internet goes down, or the moment a zombie outbreak starts (Max Brooks’ ‘The Zombie Survival Guide’ will be worth its weight in gold then and I keep it by my bed at all times). However, times are changing. More and more news and entertainment can be found in the digital world. Which means that the print media industry is slowly declining.

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

Or maybe even 20.

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#5

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Danish Dynomummy
Community Member
1 year ago

Ah, I see what they did there

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#6

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Tracy Moorhead
Community Member
1 year ago

Perhaps that's just what they want us to think!!

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For example, in 2018, weekday print newspaper circulation in the United States decreased by 12 percent, while Sunday circulation fell by 13 percent, according to the Pew Research Center.

What this means is that on Sundays, when most Americans have more free time, they’d rather do something else than buy a newspaper; like browse the internet.

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Kristi S.
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh, wow! That must 've been unexpected..

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#8

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

It also says Exclusive to all newspapers and asks for contact from people who have seen her in Morocco. What trash-rag is this?

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#9

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

Wow! Jesus has come back!

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And the situation is only getting worse for newspaper journalists and other staff members. Based on the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Occupational Employment Statistics, in 2018, 37,900 people worked in the newspaper industry as reporters, editors, photographers, film or video editors. That is 14 percent fewer employees than in 2015, and a whopping 47 percent less than in 2004.

Do you think that newspapers have a future, dear Readers? Would you like to see a Bored Panda newspaper? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

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Lyop
Community Member
1 year ago

You don't say!

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#11

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

Holding text that someone forgot to change. Often says Lorem Ipsum dolor...

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#12

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Tracy Moorhead
Community Member
1 year ago

That's why they're in charge of money and not literacy!

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#13

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IzzieM
Community Member
1 year ago

Bugs crawling around with feet are crawling bugs.

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#14

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

It was a tough day.

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#15

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

*slaps his leg*

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#16

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Aaron W
Community Member
1 year ago

Gotta pass the time while waiting for the other golfers to play their shots...

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#17

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

Bad man. At least we know who to blame now.

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#18

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Aaron W
Community Member
1 year ago

Yeah it's easier with a bridge.

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#19

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Bambi
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh no!

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#20

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Phil Boswell
Community Member
1 year ago

Ah, the classics ;-)

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#21

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Taradactyal
Community Member
1 year ago

This was intentional

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#22

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Dynein
Community Member
1 year ago

Oof.

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#23

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Cats vs zombies
Community Member
1 year ago

Yes they are. Especially ones with heaters.

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#24

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Kurisurin Sutaringu
Community Member
1 year ago

On a separate note, that’s awesome! Means society is finally getting somewhere!

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#25

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Restless
Community Member
1 year ago

naughty babies!

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#26

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Aaron W
Community Member
1 year ago

Penis envy actually explains a lot of the past three years.

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#27

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Sadie Shapiro
Community Member
1 year ago

Yeah, no kidding.

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#28

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh deer...

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#29

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Dilly Millandry
Community Member
1 year ago

Probably laughing at how they look - some people pull some great faces when they're singing. Just look at people in cars at traffic lights singing away... look mad.

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#30

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

Perhaps if you change your goggles, you'd find her?

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#31

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Hope Floats
Community Member
1 year ago

And there was me thinking it was fog...

shane montanez
Community Member
1 year ago

I was more along the lines of quaking lol

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Chris Watson
Community Member
1 year ago

This one's actually not too bad, when you think of all the perils caused by earthquakes. The ground splitting open, fires from broken gas mains, tsunamis.....

Ari
Community Member
1 year ago

No, that's a lie... It comes from the man behind the bar making his cocktails...

Norman van Druten
Community Member
1 year ago

I've been lied to all my life!!.

Charlotte Dupre
Community Member
1 year ago

It could also be by fire and explosions

Caridina Japonica
Community Member
1 year ago

Agreed. Broken pipes (leaking gas -> fire, explosions, leaking water -> no drinking water supply, flooded cellars... , leaking sewage system -> pollution, flooded areas), damages on power lines -> short cirquits -> blackout and/or fire. As mentioned before, liquefication in some areas, landslides in other areas, tsunami waves (ok, in case of tsunami, the wave damage is probably worse than the shaking itself)....

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Blaise Meloche
Community Member
1 year ago

Apparently babies are damaged most by shaking too!

Living_Shadow
Community Member
1 year ago

I thought it was the sun during earth quakes

Stan Chung
Community Member
1 year ago

Nooo, it wasn't the wind?

Blub Blub Blub
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

wOw I would never have guessed

Christophe Beunens
Community Member
1 year ago

I thought that most damage was from falling...

Marcellus the Third
Community Member
1 year ago

Liquefaction is another main cause, but only in water-saturated/low-lying areas.

European other
Community Member
1 year ago

Yes we figured that out in New Zealand

Hannah Flaherty
Community Member
1 year ago

I thought it was rain.

Mayson
Community Member
1 year ago

Whole lotta shakin' going on!

Johanna-Nicollette Kidd
Community Member
1 year ago

Moving places

OTTER
Community Member
1 year ago

SES. ‘Shaken Earth Syndrome.’ Ha! I made up a ‘new’ one!

Mavia Kainaat
Community Member
1 year ago

I thought it was the sound pollution.

Berengaria Adams
Community Member
1 year ago

The other portion is from the quaking I'd expect

Kjorn
Community Member
1 year ago

i thought it was because of the noise

Jude Baston
Community Member
11 months ago

bunk beds are worst when man made earthquake occurs

Jo Choto
Community Member
1 year ago

As opposed to...?

Karen Klinck
Community Member
1 year ago

Fire, flood, falling debris, broken gas mains emitting suffocating clouds of poison, possibly a concurrent other natural disaster...

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Orenda Anyone
Community Member
1 year ago

It means the shaking of 1,4 b. Chinese at the same moment. They do that on purpose, to shake us.

Ashley Wright
Community Member
1 year ago

Thanks for letting us know.

Danny Heath
Community Member
1 year ago

It actually from falling - after the shake - LOL

Ildiko Okido
Community Member
1 year ago

Now I’m wondering what those three main factors are.

Richard Henderson
Community Member
1 year ago

In defence of the headline, earthquake motion can also sheer so a building could be torn in half that way.

Sami
Community Member
1 year ago

LOL

Laur 24
Community Member
1 year ago

im shaking right now everyone get to a doorway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TC
Community Member
1 year ago

Give it a shiver man...!

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#32

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

Damn! We thought they would have died by now...

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#33

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Rabbit Carrot
Community Member
1 year ago

Nah, they’re a bit chewy at that age.

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#34

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IzzieM
Community Member
1 year ago

This headline leaves nothing to the imagination. No one will read the article if you give everything away in the headline.

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#35

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Bunzilla
Community Member
1 year ago

Hmm, I may have a thought...

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#36

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Dilly Millandry
Community Member
1 year ago

Just needs some inverted commas for that 'miracle cure'

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#37

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Colm Corcoran
Community Member
1 year ago

Now what essential information you are missing here is that the Metro Herald is an Irish newspaper, very few of us know what the sun looks like!!!

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#38

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Laugh Fan
Community Member
1 year ago

Might have moobs.

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#39

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

Well, reading the text it sounds like they were all wasting time.

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#40

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Chris Jones
Community Member
1 year ago

Well, graveyard and not grave - that tends to be less usual.

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Note: this post originally had 102 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.