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“Men, DO THIS”: Bartender Warns Woman About A Suspicious Guy, Inspires Others To Share Similar Stories (35 Stories)
Bartenders can be some of the most perceptive people out there. They can read the room and they can definitely notice when someone doesn’t have the best of intentions towards some of the other guests. In short, they have the power to be everyday heroes and protect their customers from men with dubious intentions.
Case in point, New Yorker Laura Motta shared a simple but very effective way how a bartender kept her safe from a potentially dangerous guy sitting at the bar. Her tweet immediately went viral, getting nearly 800k likes on the social media platform, and inspiring others to share similar stories.
People opened up about how they were protected or protected others themselves, whether in bars, on the street, or elsewhere. We’ve collected the most powerful stories. Scroll down to read them, Pandas. And if you want to open up about the times someone kept you from harm or you saved someone in need, you can tell us all about it in the comments.
More info: Twitter | LauraMotta.com
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
RezFidel 3 years ago
This. When we organised technoparties in a club in germany we instructed the bouncers to do exactly the same. Almost every night some a*****e got caught...sadly.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Good on you RezFidel, for instructing the bouncers to do this.
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Leslie Harris 3 years ago
good, but not a guarantee, they may have exchanged numbers before she became intoxicated or was drugged
Wayne Dobson 3 years ago
I was pretty sure I had brought up my daughters to feel safe, but this was confirmed when the girls went out together when in their thirties. They got stranded somehow and one of their friends said:"Call your Dad, he'll come get us.".
Imogene Cargeaux 3 years ago
If only we had one of you at every bar and nightclub. Or if like.... men could just stop being predators.
RELATED:
#2
B181 3 years ago
Weird how we're supposed to consider this good. The OP blacked out, and woke up in another place, with people she didn't know. Please DO NOT do this. yes, it's cute in movies, but no, it's still very much kidnapping. If you see someone potentially drugged against their will and want to intervene - great. Call the cops and an ambulance; keep the person safe in the location they're in, and wait. A) In most countries this would still count as kidnapping B) date rapists are not always careful with what they're administering and how much - odds are getting them to a hospital to pump their stomach is the best thing you can do C) if someone DID drug her, the cops will want the drink in question for investigation and may want to interview the bartender and others about potential perpetrators. D) This group of people TOOK someone WITHOUT their consent, moved them elsewhere, and "kept watch over them" all night. Even with the very best of intentions, this is misguided.
Zaza 3 years ago
I once picked a drunk boy up off the sidewalk, where he was passed out. Had someone help me almost drag him to my place (that was half a block down the road). Kidnapping? He was barely legal drinking age, passed out, alone, outside. What do you think might have happened to him had I not put him on my couch? Robbed, beaten, maybe raped or worse? I'm a single woman, you think I'd sit on the street for hours waiting for help, risking my own safety? He was comfortable, safe, warm and dry, with someone to keep an eye on him, not 2 mionutes walk from where he crashed. You would call it kidnapping? The gall!
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Wend kirk 3 years ago
I was in Ft. Lauderdale in a youth hostel. A girl asked me to keep her company to go to a bar to dance. She set me up to be drugged as I only remember being put in a car by several men a few bits after that and waking up in my room with bruises in places I couldn’t have done to myself. Not all women help other women ☹️
Betsy Hirons 3 years ago
Those are some really cool girls! I hope there are many more out there like them!!
moonlit muffins 3 years ago
question where do these mysterious drugs put in the drink even come from? they shouldn't even be available
#3
Nick Lasley 3 years ago
It's great that they helped, and I'm not saying they had any ill intentions because they obviously didn't, but it's weird that he didn't just stop the guy from tampering with her tire, or warn her about it, instead just decided to temporarily freak her out by surrounding her car.
Florida, but without the beach 3 years ago
Maybe he wasn’t sure what the guy was doing, if she knew him or if the tire would actually go flat. Once it did, it confirmed his suspicions and he jumped in to help
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CariBear 3 years ago
My mom had something similar happen; she was driving with me (infant at the time) late 1980’s from Texas to California. Trucker noticed her at 2 different stops and politely asked her if she driving alone. Once he found out, he told other truckers on that route to keep an eye out for her; she had random trucks giving her a quick honk or nod the rest of the way 😊
Terri Owens 3 years ago
Wow...! Truckers and bikers (not bicycles) always get a bad rap. You won't find more generous, kind hearted groups of people. Of course there are always a few that don't necessarily have good intentions but, the majority of them are just regular people. I trust them more than than most people I know. Just my opinion formed from life experiences.
HeatherDPanda 3 years ago
Please realize most truck drivers are normal helpful people and treat them as such!!
Gwen LeMay 3 years ago
My dear husband was a long-haul trucker, he saw so much in his travels and journaled it all helped men, women, and teens, He was a big burly rough-looking man with an extremely deep voice with the heart of an angel. Rip honey
Thomas Mack 3 years ago
I have never in my entire life had any issues with big gruff men in trucks. They are usually course but also the biggest kindest teddy bears you will ever meet. :)
Willowbilly 3 years ago
Retired trucker here. You have a great view from a truck. The trucks and cars don’t park next to each other. No time to run over there and stop the guy or stop her. They probably got on the CB radio and alerted truckers that were already on the Interstate. The guy that saw it would take too much time getting unparked and up to speed.
Kim Lorton 3 years ago
I have almost always felt safe when driving long distances, when big rigs were also on the road! I was always deferential as a driver ,to them. Flashing hi beams to let them know it was safe to merge in front of me. They always flashed back, their appreciation. Big rig, long haul truckers have family’s also, and are husbands, brothers, fathers and grand fathers. They like to protect and safe guard others, just because they are great human beings!
Laura, based in New York, is an editorial director, content strategist, and lifestyle writer who specialized in travel. Her viral tweet and the entire thread that followed showed just how complicated and potentially risky real-life really is.
There are plenty of dangerous people lurking out there. But there are also kind folks who go out of their way to help a stranger. It’s the best and the worst of humanity. And sometimes a friendly bartender giving you a warning on their phone screen can be the only thing protecting you from future harm.
#4
Lisa Valen 3 years ago
Why did your uncle and bro not sit near you, or why didn't one of them sit with you? But kudos to the ride operator.
#5
BigOrangeTractor 3 years ago
The expectation would have been to down the beer in a few seconds then out. No casual lingering.
Charity Fain 3 years ago
The bar was Sean Og's in Woodside, NY and the bartender was Finnbar. He was the best!
#6
Potty pagan panda 3 years ago
It would have been good to note his number plate and report to police. This a**hole might try with someone else :((
HeatherDPanda 3 years ago
That is so awesome. My daughter was followed into Victoria Secret in college. She needed a strapless for an event the next day so had to try it on. The workers told her they also noticed the stalker who told her he wanted to see her try on lingerie... they called security and a wonderful security women drive her through the back corridors of the mall to her car while the other guards stopped the man and questioned him until my daughter drove off. So thankful to these heroes!!
Stephanie Wittenberg 3 years ago
That cashier literally saved your life. Straight up hero. And so are you for including this story because it could well save another woman in a similar situation!
Jeannette 3 years ago
I had man follow me around store before. I felt same bad feeling. I tested to see if he'd go into feminine isle. He did. Everywhere I went. When I checked out, he did. I ran to my car and looked behind to see him coming. There was no way he had time to buy his stuff. Thankfully, a car went between us (and I didn't get hit). I locked my doors and left in a hurry. I should've just waited in store for him to leave thinking about it now, or call my husband. I got the flight feeling for sure.
Anna Lessens 3 years ago
A white van....where did this guy get his kidnapping strategies---the 60s
Ki Li 3 years ago
So many work vans are white. It's not weird that would be the color
Load More Replies...This isn’t the first time that Bored Panda has written about bartenders rushing to the rescue of their patrons. For instance, Benjamin Smith, a bartender working in Los Angeles, explained to us in an earlier in-depth interview how bartenders create secret signals for customers to show that they’re in need of assistance. One such sign is ordering an ‘angel shot.’
When you order an ‘angel shot’ at a bar that has them, the bar staff know that something’s not right and will do everything that they can to protect you from unwanted attention and potentially dangerous customers.
#7
Zaza 3 years ago
Yes, this! There was a post on BP where 1 of the things some men say to women is that it doesn't have to be sex "just a blowjob is fine". I wonder how these "men" would feel when another man pressures them for a blowjob
Trisha Doran 3 years ago
One time on the bus, I had a man ask me to please sit up front by the bus driver (I was in the back, browsing). Anyway, the guy came up with me and said he worked security in one of the local buildings, and a guy sitting close by me was known to a lot of the guards as a troublemaker. I was grateful.
Denise Melek 3 years ago (edited)
Online I suggested to a pushy guy I could do him well all night with a strapon-dildo. When he declined I told him to losen up a bit and if he isn't into some fun and why not try it first (what he told me first, when I declined). Seems like when it's them to get f****d, they get all shy all of sudden..
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 3 years ago
i mean, that will work until you meet a man who is into that stuff.
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Mobey Drunk 3 years ago
Getting off at a different stop is always a good idea in situations like this. There's some real creeps out there that won't give up that easy. Some will try to get you in a more vulnerable area (like at the bus stop, rather than on the bus with other people). You're not always going to have allies, so it's best to lean to the side of caution.
#8
(T)reacherou(S) 3 years ago
Good, but I think the bartender should've given her non alcoholic from the beginning, the other dude was obviously a creep. Still nice of the bartender, scary situation!
Dawn ;))) 3 years ago
No, he might have been wrong. Maybe she likes doubles and he didn't know, i think its good that he asked
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Baruš Jíchová 3 years ago
If I was on a first date, I would have been grateful to the bartender but I would also have confronted the guy the minute he went back from the bathroom, made a scene and left! I could not let it proceed for few more hours with a knowledge that he tried to take advantage of me in the first place.
AliJanx 3 years ago
Early-50s, dry county. My mother was taken by her date to a private country club where patrons could supply their own bottles. My mom was tall and thin-maybe weighed 105 and wasn't a drinker, which bartender knew. So, for each bourbon her date had, mom ordered Jack-Coke that bartender served without the Jack. Her date was amazed that she was able to stay standing.
Laura M D 3 years ago
I was with two male friends and they suggested to have some shots. Tequila!! I had the first one and told them my stomach wouldn't handle another one. I was not in danger, but they insisted so much that the bartender served the shots and pointed at one glass "this is yours, miss". Turned out it was plain water. We kept having shoots until they couldn't have anymore and now they think I'm imbatible.
#9
Man in the ceiling 3 years ago
Good on him! More bartenders should do this if they spot someone acting shady around a persons drink.
Suzanne Haigh 3 years ago
People should not be leaving drinks unattended, ever, one just never knows these days.
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Zaza 3 years ago
Good bartender, but NEVER EVER leave a drink unattended. They roofied me while I was holding my beer (a bottle, tiny tiny opening) in my hand and turned my head to say hi to someone, a few seconds only. Some bar staff are happy to keep your drink behind the bar, but make sure it's out of reach, because staff is busy taking orders and pouring drinks, some jackasses might reach over the bar and put something in anyway. (I got lucky, was in a bar where almost everyone knew me well, the owners and staff were good friends of mine, they noticed something was off right away and had the bouncer and a good friend of mine take me home. I do not remember any of this though, last I recall is I came in, ordered my 1st beer and had maybe 3 sips of it)
Julia Winfield 3 years ago
You've got three options in this situation. Finish your drink before going to the bathroom..take your drink to the bathroom with you and do everything one handed. Or cut your losses and just order a fresh drink when you sit back down. However I'm glad there are great bartenders out there looking out for their patrons.
Shawn Brooks 3 years ago
Putting a cover over your drink should be standard practice for everyone leaving your drink unattended.
Mobey Drunk 3 years ago
I knew a bartender that would only give a drink to the woman, if someone bought it for them. That way no one could slip something in it.
Zoe Duddle 3 years ago
Take your drink with you. Grab a coaster and use that to keep your drink off the floor/toilet roll holder/wherever you can rest it.
Adrienne Mcginley 3 years ago
I take my drink with me to the restroom & leave it on the sink if I'm at a bar alone.
Mioux Mioux 3 years ago
Bring your drink to the washroom. In some places (like my province), it's illegal for a place to let you take your drink with you.
Man in the ceiling 3 years ago
No the bartender protected the drink by placing the coaster over the top. If someone drugged the drink and they knew I’m sure they’d have poured it out and served another one, no point in keeping something undrinkable in a public space.
Load More Replies...“The angel shot has saved and will continue to save lives,” bartender Ben told Bored Panda that it’s vital that people know ‘angel shots’ exist to help patrons.
As a bartender, he has already had to step in to help some clients. “I have definitely had to Intervene in multiple situations where someone has felt uncomfortable. Most bars have security so they are helpful in assisting in these situations,” he said.
#10
Grace Smith 3 years ago
I just hope that if girl ever comes over and pretends to know me, I don’t f**k it up by being a dumbass and going “huh?”
Marvelous Rex 3 years ago
Glad they picked up on it right away. A bunch of us from the gym were at Happy Hour once and one of the girls that I only slightly knew, ran up to me and goes "save me from (guy from the gym). He's wasted and won't leave me alone" and kind of ducked in under my arm. So of course I helped her and made him get away. But I'd have been afraid if blowing it if someone just sat down at the table and acted like they knew me.
#11
Trulee Stewart 3 years ago
OMG! SAME! I was 14 working as a drug store cashier under a work permit. The owner would find a million reasons to go back and forth behind me. I was a very naive young girl. It wasn't until years later that I queued in to what he had been doing. Nasty men! Not all but some for sure!
Alma Muminovic 3 years ago (edited)
When I was 18-19 a store manager in his 40’s was being creepy towards me, I told him he had the eyes of a pedophile. He seemed offended but didn’t creep on me anymore. Just avoided me. Sometimes you just gotta call them out so they know you notice and it’s not cool.
#12
M O'Connell 3 years ago
Some people have an accent-volume control. I have an internal mixing board and can adjust my levels of 'Milwaukee' and 'Chicago.' This person evidently has an internal k**b for 'flamboyance' which is also fine.
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According to the bartender, a vital part of working as a bartender is being able to read the room and people’s body language. The job is so much more than just taking orders and serving drinks!
“I think it’s key that bartenders are aware of their surroundings and pay attention to guest body language. I can easily tell if someone is uncomfortable or may need my help,” Ben explained to Bored Panda, adding that he was glad that his video helped educate industry workers, as well as guests, about the ‘angel shots’ secret signal.
#13
Mouse 3 years ago
I did something similar, just no one was around to hear me. I was waiting in a parking lot to pick up my husband from working late one night. Hear a noise, look up and there's a guy penguining it and having a good time with his hand. I thought if I turned on my highbeam headlights he would be embarrassed and stop. But, no, he used the lights like he was on stage somewhere and quite proud of the show he was giving me so I honked, still nothing, yelled at him, no reaction, just staring and getting a workout. I just shut off the lights while he did his thing and then he went back into work. Weird moment.
Uber Mensch 3 years ago
Option two: loudly call out "You call THAT a _penis_?" with considerable scorn, while pointing at him, then laugh.
SPQRBob 3 years ago
While it's funny in the abstract, doing that in real life could be incredibly dangerous.
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The Starsong Princess 3 years ago
Many years ago, I was working alone in a shoe store and a guy came in and flashed me. I will never forget the expression on his face when I yelled and beaned him with the stapler. Sadly, I hit him on the shoulder - that wasn’t where I was aiming but a stapler isn’t very aerodynamic. He ran away when I picked up some jars of shoe polish and started winding up for another throw.
Lillukka79 3 years ago
I told the flasher to p**s of unless he would like me to rip his balls of and turn them into a cat toy. Worked.
BobTDG 3 years ago
Another good threat is to use his testicles as earrings.
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phil blanque 3 years ago
Help! This poor man has a baby mouse in his pants....a baby, baby mouse in his pants. Please help him!
Red 3 years ago (edited)
Something similar happened to me. I was sixteen and sitting on a T shaped bus stop, one bench across and two back to back in front of it, separated by a wall. A guy sat on one of the benches and started master baking. When I noticed he was creepily lookin at me and going at it i started screaming "THIS DUDE IS TOUCHING HIMSELF!" pointing at him. The guys from the motorcycle garage and a security guard working on my building complex ran towards us. The creep bolted across the street, holding his pants. I felt so ashamed, like it was my fault, if I wasn't there or if I was dressed differently, it wouldn't have happened.
Uber Mensch 3 years ago
Definitely NOT your "fault". He was a perv, and (to your credit) your calling out and the resulting furor may well have helped him see his need for some serious therapy. As they say in the U.S. southern states: Ya done good.
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King Kashue 3 years ago
Assailants want two things: control and anonymity. If there's anyone around, merely describing someone at the top of your lungs can cause a potential assailant to flee. "I don't know this man, he's wearing a red shirt and blue jeans and has brown hair!"
Anne Mitchell 3 years ago
A guy flashed his penis and balls at my friend and me on a train. The carriage was half full and without missing a beat my friend yelled at the top of her voice "Put that away. I have seen bigger and better on a baby". The guy moved quickly away but had to suffer everyone looking at him until the next station.
Persp Gold 3 years ago (edited)
i pulled out a knife on a guy grabbing his crotch and doing lip licking kissy faces at me on the El in Chicago. he got off on the next stop. exhibitionists are cowards
Karen Miller 3 years ago
I was a teenager who went to the movies with my parents. They say in the back and I went down front more. All sorts of empty seats around me. Some man sat down two seats from me. It creeped me out and I got up and moved back to sit with my parents. Stupid pervert. I went with my gut. It didn’t feel right.
#14
Norah Reilly 3 years ago
I can't help asking this futile question, "Why is this still necessary?".
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Kay blue 3 years ago
I told my daughter the same. I also told her that I don't care how much she had drunk or what she had taken, if she felt unsafe or she got separated from her friends, I would come and get her at any time of night.
Carlotta Müller 3 years ago
It's very sad that females have to have such rules. When in truth males should have some f*****g rules. Or only one. Never do anything to or touch a woman or another person against their will. But we still live in a cruel time. Still.
#15
Loading Screen Tips🇺🇦 3 years ago
It's great to see people actually being upstanders. Maybe all those seminars in school actually worked.
In LA-based bartender Ben’s opinion, ‘angel shots’ are “something we should all know about.” In that particular bar, there are 3 variations. For example, ordering an ‘angel shot’ with lime means that you need police assistance.
#16
DE Ray 3 years ago
I think you're missing the part where it was a Yakuza hangout.
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Uber Mensch 3 years ago
Pretty good chance that the tattooed guys were Yakuza (Japanese "mafia"). Surprisingly honorable, and NOT to be trifled with.
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 3 years ago
i think most mafias have some sort of code of honor, just some uphold it way more strict or better than others.
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Andrew Brunson 3 years ago
Tattoos in Japan are more likely to mean yakuza. Tattoos are not normally done on “ordinary” people.
#17
marianne eliza 3 years ago
And you just know those guys are blaming the girl and will try to take it out on the next one they harrass.
Red 3 years ago
Something similar happened to me. I knew a guy that had an on and off situation with a good friend of mine. I can't call him a friend, but we were good buds. After they were done for good we met at a party and he was all over me. I felt really uncomfortable, played cool at first, but told him to leave me alone. At some point it got so bad I stayed at the ladies room just to hide from him. My friend's band was about to play, so I left my hiding place to watch, he came behind me, got super close to me and grabbed both my breasts. Out of nowhere my lifelong friend/neighbor/fwb was right next to us, pulled the guy away from me and he never bothered me again. My friend never left my side from that moment on and I'll be forever grateful to him. Later the guy apologized, blamed alcohol for his behavior. I gave him a "sure Jan" smile and avoided him like the plague after that.
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 3 years ago
that friend/neighbor/fwb was just like "i sense some creepy things." *fûcking teleports*
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Dee Dee Henzler Eberle 3 years ago
I had a guy grab my butt in a bar once, and I was able to grab his hand, hold up his arm, and yell to the whole bar "Hey, I found this on my a*s! Anyone lose it?" They guy's friends cracked up and they all left. #myassnotyours
Jeweled Dragon 3 years ago
The thing is, a lot of people are worried about making a scene. It sounds weird, especially given the situation, but it's true.
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#18
JOHANNA MUELLER 3 years ago
good thing they actually censored the drink this time, so people don't catch on who aren't supposed to!
Jane Alexander 3 years ago
So what if the perp/perv knows she's asked for help, what's he gonna do about it?
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Brian Bauer 3 years ago
suddenly i'm a little bothered my usual place doesnt have something like this going. they got two unisex bathrooms, so such a thing would be in plain sight. never once witnessed any incidents occurring, but still.
Load More Replies... Chicagoboi 3 years ago
I'm now thinking which drinks are on there that are not strange enough to order but awful enough people don't actually order them.
Anne Reid 3 years ago
The ones featured on “menus” like this aren’t real drinks.
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Allison Coleman 3 years ago
It would be good if there was also similar in the men's room, with a different drink obviously. That has 2 benefits: 1 - "men" can get into similar situations; 2 - they wouldn't know to listen for this particular drink's name (they'd be listening for the name of the drink from the men's room).
Napoleon dynamite 3 years ago
Okay I've thought of some things the drinks could be: IPA with ice Wine with a lime And frozen amargarita Neat
Anne Reid 3 years ago (edited)
Most bars that have these don’t feature those as real drinks. Or the bartender asks the person if they need help.
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Meanwhile, the ‘neat’ variant means you need someone to walk you to your car because you don’t feel safe going out alone. Lastly, there’s the on-the-rocks version of the ‘angel shot’ that signals the bar staff that they should call you a taxi. Of course, these signals can vary from bar to bar and state to state. So it’s best to have a frank chat about these sorts of things with the staff if you visit a bar regularly.
#19
RJ The Drama King 3 years ago
If it looks like an abusive situation to others it might be one. Honey throw the whole husband out
Trash Panda 3 years ago
Yeah, but even non-abusive couples fight on occasion. But I agree that it’s good to check and protect the victim as well as you can.
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Honza Slavinger 3 years ago (edited)
Imagine being so entitled that you seriously believe somebody owes you an explanation of their private matters. If you want to be world saviour, start in muslim countries.
#20
#21
Yep it's Ella 🇺🇦 3 years ago
Every bar should have its own safe word, but I think an "angel drink" or "ask for angela" should be recognised everywhere.
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Nemo 3 years ago
This is common and now the creeps know too. Every bar should have their own safeword
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Karen Kenny 3 years ago
Have this same notice in a Bar/Restaurant in Portchester Portsmouth Makes a girl feel better knowing that they have your back
Absolutely anyone can be a victim of harassment. However, some groups of people are particularly vulnerable and can become targets more often.
Emily May, the Co-Founder and Executive Director at ‘Hollaback!’, an organization that aims to put an end to harassment in all of its forms, told Bored Panda some time ago that harassment can happen anywhere. It’s something that isn’t restricted to a single place. It can happen on the street, in bars, in the supermarket, on social media.
#22
Anne Reid 3 years ago
Yes! As a bartender, when I read the original post, I was angry that the bartender knew enough about the guy to know he was a predator, but couldn’t or wouldn’t kick him out! None of the places I’ve worked in would allow someone like him in!
LuckyL 3 years ago
totally stupid - but as long as he sit's in this bar and the bartender can warn women - he can't sit in another bar where he's not known and watched.
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#23
Man in the ceiling 3 years ago
It’s always odd how when predators get their odd plans foiled by decent people they get irritated like they’re getting majorly inconvenienced.
I'm Kid A 3 years ago
God damn it, none of you understand how difficult it is to be a serial killer. All the planning. All the preparation... just wasted because some inconsiderate victim doesn't want to go along with it. We're the real victims here. No one appreciates our work.
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#24
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Holy Moly. 17 years old, the poor girl. Imagine what could have happened. SH!T
Marvelous Rex 3 years ago
I think I'd have seriously considered calling an ambulance or the police, with her barely coherent/passing out. That much underage, she may have not known her limits, been pressured into drinking too much too fast, or maybe even been drugged. Is that an overreaction versus leaving her in the care of another 17 yo?
“At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups of our vulnerability to assault in public spaces. Street harassment can happen to anyone, but disproportionately punishes women, girls, LGBTQ+ people, and other marginalized groups for being themselves in the world,” the expert noted.
#25
Jill Chambers 3 years ago
Ideally he should have shut the party down if they were behaving in a way that was bad for women.
Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
I don't get how I'm supposed to cheer for this. So everyone else at the party got sexually assaulted while he walked her home or what? Why did she have to be related to the guy to get out of being sexually assaulted? That guy went right back to that party to hang out with his good friends, the rapists.
Marvelous Rex 3 years ago
Man everything about this sounds effed up. So what would they do to her if he hadn't done that? Force her to get wasted? Rape her?
#26
Destiny Harbour 3 years ago (edited)
To think that so many guys feel entitled to hunt women like prey and expect nobody to stop them!!
ChickyChicky 3 years ago
And that there's some kind of "bro code" to allow them to do so.
Load More Replies... #27
Jodi Von Seggern 3 years ago
Unless you still work there, name & shame so that GM won't endanger anyone else.
Brian Bauer 3 years ago
it's unfortunate. and maddening. my fiancee worked her share of bars and strip clubs, needless to say she had a LOT of stories. some funny, some terrible. overall enlightening.
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Niall Mac Iomera 3 years ago
Well I can see the GMs side. Not saying they were right, but paperwork is all they have to go on. This should have been the wake up call to management that staff need more power to make calls
Kim Lorton 3 years ago
Dirt bag men. GM thinking about money, bartender doing the right thing. Say to the GM , and what would you do, if when that girl is raped or worse murdered, and I am interviewed, and tell them you were not thinking of bar patron safety, but money? Or better yet, I’d report him to his boss!
However, a strong and tight-knit community can help protect the most vulnerable members from potential dangers.
“One thing that can help you build a sense of safety is community. Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc.,” Emily explained to Bored Panda.
#28
RJ The Drama King 3 years ago
Poor kid sounds like she had no idea what was happening so probably. Sweet the dudes only wanted to help tho
Load More Replies... El Dee 3 years ago
In some circumstances men don't know what to do, particularly young men. They can be conscious of how they are perceived and this can stop them helping or being useful in situations where they COULD have helped. Speak up, ask if everything is okay, ask if you can phone a cab etc..
Erin Dixon 3 years ago
Sometimes getting into a cab when drunk is just as dangerous
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#29
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
In cases like that, I think it would also be good to call the cops. It's one thing to be harassed in bars by drunks, but to have someone stone cold sober, in a store, following and sexually harassing you, is a whole other animal. You know that this isn't his first time doing this, nor is it his last.
D20 Games 3 years ago
I worked for marmaxx, who owns home goods. The employees are not allowed to call the cops, if a customer feels uncomfortable/threatened. The customer must call themselves. The company claims it's a liability issue.
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Annemarie Mattheyse 3 years ago
Why was the sister escorted out and not the man making the lewd gestures?? That would frustrate me no end, to have my shopping expedition cut short by someone acting like an idiot. This feels a lot like victim-blaming, tbh.
Erin Kelley 3 years ago
I’m hoping it was with her consent, like “let me walk you to your car while we make sure this dude stays inside.”
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Mobey Drunk 3 years ago
I agree. I've done it before, but the real problem is that it happens in the first place.
#30
LuckyL 3 years ago
and they should have it in both bathrooms - with different names of course - or one a name, one a drink.
Load More Replies... B181 3 years ago
In Belgium and Scotland it's normally always Angela. Which can cause a bit of confusion in bars where an actual Angela works, but, well, better that than the opposite.
Jane Alexander 3 years ago
Why different? 'Angela' to ask for, 'Angel s (something) as a drink. So what if the perv/perp gets it? He's thwarted anyway.
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“The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community,” she said that having a network of people you can trust can help you feel safer.
#31
Mouse 3 years ago
I had the same thought. Drive the guys home first, then drive her home. So dangerous to let them know where she lives.
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Gil Heuvelmans 3 years ago
I´m a cab driver, i do the reverse: get rid of the guy first, don´t let them know where she lives
George Arthur 3 years ago
If the guys promised her a ride home, but wanted to add a stop - they already had her address when they called for the uber.
Nikki Angulo 3 years ago
Nope, now they know where she lives. Have her sit in the front with you, and drop the guys off first. Don't let her get out with them.
#32
Loading Screen Tips🇺🇦 3 years ago
I don't understand why security couldn't just go on either end of the aisle and then just stop her.
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Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
They need to retrain their security officers in better surveillance practices. You’re supposed to go unnoticed. It does not work if you are too obvious about it and look like stalkers instead, dumbasses!
Anton Kider 3 years ago
That's really sad. And sometimes people just prefer not to interfere because you don't really know what's happening.
Lisa Valen 3 years ago
Why were there two floorwalkers, though? That looks suspicious and the daughter did the right thing.
Renee Bindernagel 3 years ago
I worked at Target and no one ever knew who worked for loss prevention. They were not that obvious.
Thalia Lovering 3 years ago
I once thought a bloke in a supermarket was stalking a female employee. I walked towards the exit to get better signal to call the police when I saw someone else working there and explained the situation. She told me that he was the store manager and this was his way to see if employees were doing their jobs. It was creepy and, as a woman, made me feel unsafe. I called the company, never saw him again.
Firearms Sanctuary 3 years ago
she should have told them to not act like predatory creeps she thought they where planning something horrible. she should tell them to apologize or they will get blasted on social media .
#33
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
Never assume something like that. People often need protection from family too!
A 3 years ago
You allowed a strange man to approach you, ask you an odd question (very suspicious, who asks a stranger to buy their bread?), and you let him follow you AND your child around the store!? Great lesson you’re teaching your impressionable daughter: don’t say no, be polite, allow weird uncomfortable men to approach you, be too afraid to stand up for yourself…do better.
Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
Someone asked if you would buy his bread? In Walmart? And you said sure? What?
#34
Ace Girl 3 years ago
I feel like all bars should use that same machine that seals a lid on the cup that you poke your straw through like at bubble tea places. I don't need my bubble tea covered, but I do need my alcoholic drink covered. Just makes sense that bars would adopt this same method!
Kate 3 years ago
No, it doesn't. Bars don't serve bubble tea. They sell drinks, often with salt or sugar on the rim, along with slices of fruit. And, by the way, more plastic waste isn't a good thing.
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Bonnie Edwards 3 years ago
My sister and I would always order a particular brand of drink served in a screw top bottle. The bartender would take the lid - but we took our own. If we wernt actively drinking, we'd put the lid on.
#35
Hulkfreeze 3 years ago
OP continued: nothing actually happened past that, i told him to leave and surprisingly he did. to me, that's the weirdest thing about the whole interaction. i still find that ridiculously surreal. like. creeps are normally so persistent but this guy just went "Okay!" and left. makes me wonder if he knew my family or something, or maybe he had some kind of mental illness? not sure. still strange.
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Chelle Jones 3 years ago
Years ago my nanny called me at work & said I needed to come home because some strange man just walked into the house & refused to leave. A neighbor called police when he tried her door & it was locked but she saw him walk into ours. Thank God nothing happened to anyone. Now I demand the door be locked to protect my most valuable people.
Helen Witten 3 years ago
I really want to make a comment on this tiouc. I remember going to the States in the 90's and I was amazed how the ladies could go down to a local bar/pub and sit on their own and have a drink etc back home it's a big no no as Aussie males of my generation can be real full blown pigs and will look at women as easy pick ups. I know I'll get flack over this but it's the truth. I just drink at home alone with my cat these days. It's dangerous out there ladies and please take care.
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What do you think ?
Rick Seiden 3 years ago
While it's wonderful that people like this step up, it bothers me so much, as a man, that there are men like the ones these poor women are being protected from.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
What a nice thing to say. I once explained to my husband the things we (women) automatically do to try and stay safe and he got very emotional. He was also very bothered by stories like those posted.
Load More Replies... aceofspades 3 years ago
oh man, at least my 6'7 height will be of use when i go the bar next time. it's terrifying that this happens to women.
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 3 years ago
it will finally do something besides give me backpain!
Load More Replies...
B181 3 years ago
Enough abusers. This whole list is, frankly, incredibly sexist. I'm a guy, I've been abused and raped by a woman, I was not believed and made fun of, and I've had my share of attempts to try and help others but being considered the creep myself (walking a girl home because she's too drunk etc). "men" are not the problem. Abusers, rapists, creeps, are. And while I'll gladly (well, sadly) agree that a large part of them are men and most victims are women, some of the above cases really veer into "the man must be the d**k" territory. A fight between a couple, and the woman is most certainly the victim? Learn to recognize your biases. I'm not saying people shouldn't interfere, and all, but the amount of these where reversing a gender would COMPLETELY change people's perception is frightening. I deserve respect too.
Load More Replies...
MizAdeleM 3 years ago
In the 80s, I was working in downtown Boston and would picnic in the Boston Common for my lunch. A man squatted down next to my small blanket and asked for a light for his cig. "Sorry, I don.'t smoke." Didn't leave and started chatting me up. I politely told him to please go, I use to read my book alone. Grumbled a bit but walked away. Couple of minutes later, I see him pulling the same c**p on another woman! I walked over to her (a stranger to me) and said quickly to them, "Hi, 'Marie'! My friend "Marie' wants to enjoy her lunch in peace, so please leave her alone." After he left, she said, "Thanks so much, anyway, my name is Linda."
Jo Cooper 3 years ago
I was walking through a shopping centre recently. It was almost closing time and I could see a young, female shop assistant carrying two large garbage bags. And older guy in a suit kept offering to carry the bags and just harassing her. She kept saying no but he wouldn’t listen. I walked right up to him and said in a loud voice - She said no! Poor d/#khead couldn’t walk away fast enough.
My O My 3 years ago
If you're out with your girls you watch out for each other. When I told hubby the other day that girls do that for safety reasons and not necessarily because all of them are besties he was like "yeah, and...?" . I don't blame him, we grew up like that. But it makes me sad that it's just seen nomal behaviour and not what it actually is. A safety net for when things go wrong
Janet C 3 years ago (edited)
The fact that these creeps are so prevalent should embarrass every man on the planet. Unfortunately too many of the genuinely good men don't see what's really going on or don't want to get involved. But it's going to take the good men to put an end to this, or at least make it so rare that it doesn't end up in BP articles.
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 3 years ago
also, i'm not going to lie, it's sad we have to teach men to do this, instead of teaching men not to do the bad shite.
Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
I'm from America and once in college I went to London on a school trip. One of my classmates was getting hit on by this very persistent French guy. The dude would not leave her alone. Apparently I was the only sober one of the group so after making sure the creeper went to his room (we were in the bar of the student housing) I had her stay in our room on the spare bed we had since we were one student short for room. Thankfully we didn't see the French dude after that.
Rick Seiden 3 years ago
While it's wonderful that people like this step up, it bothers me so much, as a man, that there are men like the ones these poor women are being protected from.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
What a nice thing to say. I once explained to my husband the things we (women) automatically do to try and stay safe and he got very emotional. He was also very bothered by stories like those posted.
Load More Replies... aceofspades 3 years ago
oh man, at least my 6'7 height will be of use when i go the bar next time. it's terrifying that this happens to women.
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 3 years ago
it will finally do something besides give me backpain!
Load More Replies... B181 3 years ago
Enough abusers. This whole list is, frankly, incredibly sexist. I'm a guy, I've been abused and raped by a woman, I was not believed and made fun of, and I've had my share of attempts to try and help others but being considered the creep myself (walking a girl home because she's too drunk etc). "men" are not the problem. Abusers, rapists, creeps, are. And while I'll gladly (well, sadly) agree that a large part of them are men and most victims are women, some of the above cases really veer into "the man must be the d**k" territory. A fight between a couple, and the woman is most certainly the victim? Learn to recognize your biases. I'm not saying people shouldn't interfere, and all, but the amount of these where reversing a gender would COMPLETELY change people's perception is frightening. I deserve respect too.
Load More Replies... MizAdeleM 3 years ago
In the 80s, I was working in downtown Boston and would picnic in the Boston Common for my lunch. A man squatted down next to my small blanket and asked for a light for his cig. "Sorry, I don.'t smoke." Didn't leave and started chatting me up. I politely told him to please go, I use to read my book alone. Grumbled a bit but walked away. Couple of minutes later, I see him pulling the same c**p on another woman! I walked over to her (a stranger to me) and said quickly to them, "Hi, 'Marie'! My friend "Marie' wants to enjoy her lunch in peace, so please leave her alone." After he left, she said, "Thanks so much, anyway, my name is Linda."
Jo Cooper 3 years ago
I was walking through a shopping centre recently. It was almost closing time and I could see a young, female shop assistant carrying two large garbage bags. And older guy in a suit kept offering to carry the bags and just harassing her. She kept saying no but he wouldn’t listen. I walked right up to him and said in a loud voice - She said no! Poor d/#khead couldn’t walk away fast enough.
My O My 3 years ago
If you're out with your girls you watch out for each other. When I told hubby the other day that girls do that for safety reasons and not necessarily because all of them are besties he was like "yeah, and...?" . I don't blame him, we grew up like that. But it makes me sad that it's just seen nomal behaviour and not what it actually is. A safety net for when things go wrong
Janet C 3 years ago (edited)
The fact that these creeps are so prevalent should embarrass every man on the planet. Unfortunately too many of the genuinely good men don't see what's really going on or don't want to get involved. But it's going to take the good men to put an end to this, or at least make it so rare that it doesn't end up in BP articles.
ᔑᓵᒷ 𝙹⎓ ᓭ!¡ᔑ↸ᒷᓭ 3 years ago
also, i'm not going to lie, it's sad we have to teach men to do this, instead of teaching men not to do the bad shite.
Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
I'm from America and once in college I went to London on a school trip. One of my classmates was getting hit on by this very persistent French guy. The dude would not leave her alone. Apparently I was the only sober one of the group so after making sure the creeper went to his room (we were in the bar of the student housing) I had her stay in our room on the spare bed we had since we were one student short for room. Thankfully we didn't see the French dude after that.
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