“Men, DO THIS”: Bartender Warns Woman About A Suspicious Guy, Inspires Others To Share Similar Stories (35 Stories)
Bartenders can be some of the most perceptive people out there. They can read the room and they can definitely notice when someone doesn’t have the best of intentions towards some of the other guests. In short, they have the power to be everyday heroes and protect their customers from men with dubious intentions.
Case in point, New Yorker Laura Motta shared a simple but very effective way how a bartender kept her safe from a potentially dangerous guy sitting at the bar. Her tweet immediately went viral, getting nearly 800k likes on the social media platform, and inspiring others to share similar stories.
People opened up about how they were protected or protected others themselves, whether in bars, on the street, or elsewhere. We’ve collected the most powerful stories. Scroll down to read them, Pandas. And if you want to open up about the times someone kept you from harm or you saved someone in need, you can tell us all about it in the comments.
More info: Twitter | LauraMotta.com
This post may include affiliate links.
It's great that they helped, and I'm not saying they had any ill intentions because they obviously didn't, but it's weird that he didn't just stop the guy from tampering with her tire, or warn her about it, instead just decided to temporarily freak her out by surrounding her car.
Laura, based in New York, is an editorial director, content strategist, and lifestyle writer who specialized in travel. Her viral tweet and the entire thread that followed showed just how complicated and potentially risky real-life really is.
There are plenty of dangerous people lurking out there. But there are also kind folks who go out of their way to help a stranger. It’s the best and the worst of humanity. And sometimes a friendly bartender giving you a warning on their phone screen can be the only thing protecting you from future harm.
It would have been good to note his number plate and report to police. This a**hole might try with someone else :((
This isn’t the first time that Bored Panda has written about bartenders rushing to the rescue of their patrons. For instance, Benjamin Smith, a bartender working in Los Angeles, explained to us in an earlier in-depth interview how bartenders create secret signals for customers to show that they’re in need of assistance. One such sign is ordering an ‘angel shot.’
When you order an ‘angel shot’ at a bar that has them, the bar staff know that something’s not right and will do everything that they can to protect you from unwanted attention and potentially dangerous customers.
Good, but I think the bartender should've given her non alcoholic from the beginning, the other dude was obviously a creep. Still nice of the bartender, scary situation!
Good on him! More bartenders should do this if they spot someone acting shady around a persons drink.
“The angel shot has saved and will continue to save lives,” bartender Ben told Bored Panda that it’s vital that people know ‘angel shots’ exist to help patrons.
As a bartender, he has already had to step in to help some clients. “I have definitely had to Intervene in multiple situations where someone has felt uncomfortable. Most bars have security so they are helpful in assisting in these situations,” he said.
According to the bartender, a vital part of working as a bartender is being able to read the room and people’s body language. The job is so much more than just taking orders and serving drinks!
“I think it’s key that bartenders are aware of their surroundings and pay attention to guest body language. I can easily tell if someone is uncomfortable or may need my help,” Ben explained to Bored Panda, adding that he was glad that his video helped educate industry workers, as well as guests, about the ‘angel shots’ secret signal.
I did something similar, just no one was around to hear me. I was waiting in a parking lot to pick up my husband from working late one night. Hear a noise, look up and there's a guy penguining it and having a good time with his hand. I thought if I turned on my highbeam headlights he would be embarrassed and stop. But, no, he used the lights like he was on stage somewhere and quite proud of the show he was giving me so I honked, still nothing, yelled at him, no reaction, just staring and getting a workout. I just shut off the lights while he did his thing and then he went back into work. Weird moment.
Option two: loudly call out "You call THAT a _penis_?" with considerable scorn, while pointing at him, then laugh.
While it's funny in the abstract, doing that in real life could be incredibly dangerous.
Load More Replies...
Many years ago, I was working alone in a shoe store and a guy came in and flashed me. I will never forget the expression on his face when I yelled and beaned him with the stapler. Sadly, I hit him on the shoulder - that wasn’t where I was aiming but a stapler isn’t very aerodynamic. He ran away when I picked up some jars of shoe polish and started winding up for another throw.
I told the flasher to p**s of unless he would like me to rip his balls of and turn them into a cat toy. Worked.
Another good threat is to use his testicles as earrings.
Load More Replies...
Something similar happened to me. I was sixteen and sitting on a T shaped bus stop, one bench across and two back to back in front of it, separated by a wall. A guy sat on one of the benches and started master baking. When I noticed he was creepily lookin at me and going at it i started screaming "THIS DUDE IS TOUCHING HIMSELF!" pointing at him. The guys from the motorcycle garage and a security guard working on my building complex ran towards us. The creep bolted across the street, holding his pants. I felt so ashamed, like it was my fault, if I wasn't there or if I was dressed differently, it wouldn't have happened.
Definitely NOT your "fault". He was a perv, and (to your credit) your calling out and the resulting furor may well have helped him see his need for some serious therapy. As they say in the U.S. southern states: Ya done good.
Load More Replies...
Help! This poor man has a baby mouse in his pants....a baby, baby mouse in his pants. Please help him!
Assailants want two things: control and anonymity. If there's anyone around, merely describing someone at the top of your lungs can cause a potential assailant to flee. "I don't know this man, he's wearing a red shirt and blue jeans and has brown hair!"
A guy flashed his penis and balls at my friend and me on a train. The carriage was half full and without missing a beat my friend yelled at the top of her voice "Put that away. I have seen bigger and better on a baby". The guy moved quickly away but had to suffer everyone looking at him until the next station.
i pulled out a knife on a guy grabbing his crotch and doing lip licking kissy faces at me on the El in Chicago. he got off on the next stop. exhibitionists are cowards
I was a teenager who went to the movies with my parents. They say in the back and I went down front more. All sorts of empty seats around me. Some man sat down two seats from me. It creeped me out and I got up and moved back to sit with my parents. Stupid pervert. I went with my gut. It didn’t feel right.
I was followed by a school kid, teens, whom id casually said 'hey' to as I passed him and his friends, on my bike, as they walked home from school, all presentable in their uniforms... id locked my bike at home and crossed to go to the store, and he was behind me w his d**k out saying loudly something like "don't u want a piece of this" over and over... tried to ignore for a min and kept walking, but he wldnt give up. so turned and starting yelling top of my lungs at him and walking right at him, figuring he'd quit or someone wld come out, we lived in a neighborhood, and I knew the ppl at the store (right there). fortuitously enough, there were cops! pulled right in on the sidewalk behind him!? what are the odds. I had NEVER seen cops in our hood!! told them what happened (just in case they missed anything!) and they should really do something bc this kid was going to end up assaulting someone eventually. really hope that kid got some help, but have to say prob doubt it bc how it goes
It's great to see people actually being upstanders. Maybe all those seminars in school actually worked.
In LA-based bartender Ben’s opinion, ‘angel shots’ are “something we should all know about.” In that particular bar, there are 3 variations. For example, ordering an ‘angel shot’ with lime means that you need police assistance.
Meanwhile, the ‘neat’ variant means you need someone to walk you to your car because you don’t feel safe going out alone. Lastly, there’s the on-the-rocks version of the ‘angel shot’ that signals the bar staff that they should call you a taxi. Of course, these signals can vary from bar to bar and state to state. So it’s best to have a frank chat about these sorts of things with the staff if you visit a bar regularly.
If it looks like an abusive situation to others it might be one. Honey throw the whole husband out
Absolutely anyone can be a victim of harassment. However, some groups of people are particularly vulnerable and can become targets more often.
Emily May, the Co-Founder and Executive Director at ‘Hollaback!’, an organization that aims to put an end to harassment in all of its forms, told Bored Panda some time ago that harassment can happen anywhere. It’s something that isn’t restricted to a single place. It can happen on the street, in bars, in the supermarket, on social media.
It’s always odd how when predators get their odd plans foiled by decent people they get irritated like they’re getting majorly inconvenienced.
“At its core is a power dynamic that constantly reminds historically subordinated groups of our vulnerability to assault in public spaces. Street harassment can happen to anyone, but disproportionately punishes women, girls, LGBTQ+ people, and other marginalized groups for being themselves in the world,” the expert noted.
To think that so many guys feel entitled to hunt women like prey and expect nobody to stop them!!
However, a strong and tight-knit community can help protect the most vulnerable members from potential dangers.
“One thing that can help you build a sense of safety is community. Take the time to get to know the good folks in your neighborhood and build positive relationships with not just your neighbors, but the people who deliver the mail, the trash folks, the guy that mows your neighbor’s lawn, etc.,” Emily explained to Bored Panda.
In cases like that, I think it would also be good to call the cops. It's one thing to be harassed in bars by drunks, but to have someone stone cold sober, in a store, following and sexually harassing you, is a whole other animal. You know that this isn't his first time doing this, nor is it his last.
“The more people you know, the more people will have your back if something happens again. Knowing this can increase your sense of safety and belonging in your community,” she said that having a network of people you can trust can help you feel safer.
Never assume something like that. People often need protection from family too!
While it's wonderful that people like this step up, it bothers me so much, as a man, that there are men like the ones these poor women are being protected from.
What a nice thing to say. I once explained to my husband the things we (women) automatically do to try and stay safe and he got very emotional. He was also very bothered by stories like those posted.
Load More Replies...
oh man, at least my 6'7 height will be of use when i go the bar next time. it's terrifying that this happens to women.
it will finally do something besides give me backpain!
Load More Replies...
Enough abusers. This whole list is, frankly, incredibly sexist. I'm a guy, I've been abused and raped by a woman, I was not believed and made fun of, and I've had my share of attempts to try and help others but being considered the creep myself (walking a girl home because she's too drunk etc). "men" are not the problem. Abusers, rapists, creeps, are. And while I'll gladly (well, sadly) agree that a large part of them are men and most victims are women, some of the above cases really veer into "the man must be the d**k" territory. A fight between a couple, and the woman is most certainly the victim? Learn to recognize your biases. I'm not saying people shouldn't interfere, and all, but the amount of these where reversing a gender would COMPLETELY change people's perception is frightening. I deserve respect too.
Load More Replies...
In the 80s, I was working in downtown Boston and would picnic in the Boston Common for my lunch. A man squatted down next to my small blanket and asked for a light for his cig. "Sorry, I don.'t smoke." Didn't leave and started chatting me up. I politely told him to please go, I use to read my book alone. Grumbled a bit but walked away. Couple of minutes later, I see him pulling the same c**p on another woman! I walked over to her (a stranger to me) and said quickly to them, "Hi, 'Marie'! My friend "Marie' wants to enjoy her lunch in peace, so please leave her alone." After he left, she said, "Thanks so much, anyway, my name is Linda."
I was walking through a shopping centre recently. It was almost closing time and I could see a young, female shop assistant carrying two large garbage bags. And older guy in a suit kept offering to carry the bags and just harassing her. She kept saying no but he wouldn’t listen. I walked right up to him and said in a loud voice - She said no! Poor d/#khead couldn’t walk away fast enough.
If you're out with your girls you watch out for each other. When I told hubby the other day that girls do that for safety reasons and not necessarily because all of them are besties he was like "yeah, and...?" . I don't blame him, we grew up like that. But it makes me sad that it's just seen nomal behaviour and not what it actually is. A safety net for when things go wrong
The fact that these creeps are so prevalent should embarrass every man on the planet. Unfortunately too many of the genuinely good men don't see what's really going on or don't want to get involved. But it's going to take the good men to put an end to this, or at least make it so rare that it doesn't end up in BP articles.
also, i'm not going to lie, it's sad we have to teach men to do this, instead of teaching men not to do the bad shite.
I'm from America and once in college I went to London on a school trip. One of my classmates was getting hit on by this very persistent French guy. The dude would not leave her alone. Apparently I was the only sober one of the group so after making sure the creeper went to his room (we were in the bar of the student housing) I had her stay in our room on the spare bed we had since we were one student short for room. Thankfully we didn't see the French dude after that.
Id like to help but im usually the sketchy stranger, im also small and quiet as a man, even though I can fight, lol
i wont ever help a woman again. you wanted your 4th wave feminism, you got it. you wanted your metoo and accused everyone of us. you got it. youre on your own.
Oh, ffs. If you can't tell the difference between expressing an interest in a woman and harassing her after she's made it VERY CLEAR she isn't interested, then you deserve to be alone.
Load More Replies...
While it's wonderful that people like this step up, it bothers me so much, as a man, that there are men like the ones these poor women are being protected from.
What a nice thing to say. I once explained to my husband the things we (women) automatically do to try and stay safe and he got very emotional. He was also very bothered by stories like those posted.
Load More Replies... oh man, at least my 6'7 height will be of use when i go the bar next time. it's terrifying that this happens to women.
it will finally do something besides give me backpain!
Load More Replies... Enough abusers. This whole list is, frankly, incredibly sexist. I'm a guy, I've been abused and raped by a woman, I was not believed and made fun of, and I've had my share of attempts to try and help others but being considered the creep myself (walking a girl home because she's too drunk etc). "men" are not the problem. Abusers, rapists, creeps, are. And while I'll gladly (well, sadly) agree that a large part of them are men and most victims are women, some of the above cases really veer into "the man must be the d**k" territory. A fight between a couple, and the woman is most certainly the victim? Learn to recognize your biases. I'm not saying people shouldn't interfere, and all, but the amount of these where reversing a gender would COMPLETELY change people's perception is frightening. I deserve respect too.
Load More Replies... In the 80s, I was working in downtown Boston and would picnic in the Boston Common for my lunch. A man squatted down next to my small blanket and asked for a light for his cig. "Sorry, I don.'t smoke." Didn't leave and started chatting me up. I politely told him to please go, I use to read my book alone. Grumbled a bit but walked away. Couple of minutes later, I see him pulling the same c**p on another woman! I walked over to her (a stranger to me) and said quickly to them, "Hi, 'Marie'! My friend "Marie' wants to enjoy her lunch in peace, so please leave her alone." After he left, she said, "Thanks so much, anyway, my name is Linda."
I was walking through a shopping centre recently. It was almost closing time and I could see a young, female shop assistant carrying two large garbage bags. And older guy in a suit kept offering to carry the bags and just harassing her. She kept saying no but he wouldn’t listen. I walked right up to him and said in a loud voice - She said no! Poor d/#khead couldn’t walk away fast enough.
If you're out with your girls you watch out for each other. When I told hubby the other day that girls do that for safety reasons and not necessarily because all of them are besties he was like "yeah, and...?" . I don't blame him, we grew up like that. But it makes me sad that it's just seen nomal behaviour and not what it actually is. A safety net for when things go wrong
The fact that these creeps are so prevalent should embarrass every man on the planet. Unfortunately too many of the genuinely good men don't see what's really going on or don't want to get involved. But it's going to take the good men to put an end to this, or at least make it so rare that it doesn't end up in BP articles.
also, i'm not going to lie, it's sad we have to teach men to do this, instead of teaching men not to do the bad shite.
I'm from America and once in college I went to London on a school trip. One of my classmates was getting hit on by this very persistent French guy. The dude would not leave her alone. Apparently I was the only sober one of the group so after making sure the creeper went to his room (we were in the bar of the student housing) I had her stay in our room on the spare bed we had since we were one student short for room. Thankfully we didn't see the French dude after that.
Id like to help but im usually the sketchy stranger, im also small and quiet as a man, even though I can fight, lol
i wont ever help a woman again. you wanted your 4th wave feminism, you got it. you wanted your metoo and accused everyone of us. you got it. youre on your own.
Oh, ffs. If you can't tell the difference between expressing an interest in a woman and harassing her after she's made it VERY CLEAR she isn't interested, then you deserve to be alone.
Load More Replies... 