Everyone has their own definition of masculinity. And that's the beauty of it. If you're not harming anyone, there are a million ways in which you can be a man and make the world around you a better place.

But every stick has two ends. Every once in a while, someone comes along and tries to project their own vision of a man. What his virtues should and should not be.

Some time ago, Reddit user Possibly Degenerate submitted a question to the platform, asking: "What are the things every man should at least try even though they are stigmatized as 'gay' or 'unmanly?'"

As of this article, there are nearly 25,000 comments under the post, reminding us that society is still pretty messed up when it comes to masculinity and homosexuality. However, it also shows that we're growing increasingly aware of it.

#1

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" My husband paints my nails and helps me do my hair. I have a condition that makes those little jobs monumentally difficult. When we start dating as teens he took a make up course in school to help me do my make up, and pick complimentary colours. He was a metal head teenager in a make up course and I think it’s the most manly thing anyone’s ever done.

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S
Community Member
3 weeks ago

That's beautiful

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#2

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Telling your male friends you love them. Just at the end of highschool my group had several deaths occur. Car accident, cancer, suicide and a couple murders. Now in my current group we say love you after most conversation. Some people think it wierd but f**k em. People aren't around forever. Better to let them know how you feel while you can.

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guyx23
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I don't think anyone over the age of 15 thinks telling your friends you love them is gay.

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While asking the question, Possibly Degenerate didn't think it would get that big.

"[At that moment,] I was quarantined with my roommates, all guys at around 21 years of age and I just felt like I was wasting [my time] away," the Redditor told Bored Panda about the origins of their now-viral post.

"I was talking to one of them and told him I felt like I had to do something for myself. I don't know what, just to feel a bit better. And he was like, 'That sounds f**king gay.'"

#3

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Being verbally and physically affectionate (if you're comfortable with contact in general) with your boys.

I tell my boys I love them. I hug my boys. I kiss my boys before a night of wrestling and howling at the moon. Aragorn kissed Boromir. You gonna tell me Aragorn was unmanly? Good luck saving Gondor without your boys, coward.

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ComfyPanda
Community Member
3 weeks ago

My 16, almost 17, year old son rolls his eyes whenever I hug him. But I do it anyway cause I need him to know that I love him so much.

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#4

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Crying. Just let it out, guys. You can do it! Don’t apologize for it or hide it either.

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Hedgeh og
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Yes. Crying can be healthy, a stress-reliever, and cathartic. We should normalize it. Not always shrug it off or use euphemisms about dust/allergies/onions/ninjas etc. "That was moving and it made me cry" or some variant thereof is straightforward and healthy.

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Possibly Degenerate said he doesn't really know why toxic masculinity is so deeply rooted within our society.

"I see it all the time," he added. "In really young boys all the way up to old men. I don't quite notice it serving any real purpose as a lot of right-wing internet people keep going on about."

#5

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Anything I do is manly, because I'm a man and I'm doing it.

Crying over an emotional situation. Man card punched.
Having tea with my daughter. Man card punched.
Daddy dance time with the kids. Man card punched.
A "spa day" with a straight razor shave, mani/pedi and towel treatment. Man card punched.
Wearing purple or pink, (the colors of Royalty and Pussy!). Man card punched.
Having my prostate stimulated for the best orgasm of my life. Man card punched.

If you're not insecure, you don't miss out on experiences because of labels.

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Tobias Reaper
Community Member
3 weeks ago

amen brother

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#6

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" I pee sitting down. It's way better. Fight me.

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Dave van Es
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I could disagree, but then I'd be wrong. It's absolutely better

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Judging from his personal experience, the Redditor doesn't think that things are changing for the better in people his age and older. However, the younger folks seem to have a broader perception of being a man.

"I see a lot of kids who are just 16-18 being a lot more open about queer stuff and gendered things, expressing themselves in ways we'd surely got beaten up for in school," the guy, who was born in '98, said.

#7

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Quality hugs for your bros. Don’t do the ol’ shoulders touch and pat on the back. Grab your friend and give them a hug!

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/hbyee3/comment/fvcd0yr/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 Report

Issey
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I think this is also kind of depending on where you grew up? I am German and in my family we hug now and then, mostly when we meet and before we leave. My neighbours are Italian and god damn, there is so much hugging and kissing. It's awesome

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#8

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Also seeing a therapist. That s**t is fire.

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martin734
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I saw a therapist every week for almost a year after I had a total breakdown at work. I had worked as a Paramedic for over 10 years and had developed PTSD. At the end of one shift, after dealing with my 3rd fatal RTC involving children in 4 days, I just had a complete meltdown. Thankfully the NHS were absolutely superb. They allowed me a lot of time off to get over it, and then after I decided I couldn't go back to being on front-line medicine they continued to pay me and support me while I retrained as a Physiotherapist. I now love my job and have finished therapy.

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Even though he's happy for the younger generation, as he said, the author of the post isn't all too optimistic when it comes to grown-ups.

"Even though friends of mine kinda joked about that before, I've had to come to terms with my own sexuality (which is bisexual), so would a straight™ guy have the urge or the interest to ask a question like that after all?"

#9

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" When my husband and I first started dating I turned him on to the magic of baths. We did face mask and bath bombs(which he really thought would explode) and bath salt(which he was worried would make him a zombie). Now he drags me into lush and ask if after our date nights if we can take a bath. I keep talking about "when we buy a house..." and he follows up with it needs a nice tub

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2022emmam trent
Community Member
3 weeks ago

This is adorable! And definitely not just for the gays

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#10

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Try sewing. I'm the seamstress (seammaster?) for my family. Fixing clothing and making curtains etc can be just as useful as fixing a car, and comes in handy more frequently!

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kennedy1209
Community Member
3 weeks ago

YES!! My sewing machine gets as much work as my table saw.

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#11

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Being the little spoon.

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NsG
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I Iove being the big spoon for my husband, and he loves it too - it means he doesn't have to put up with my hair in his face for a start!

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#12

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Cooking, f**king hell don’t rely on others for something you need everyday. Deliveries and take aways are expensive, and it’s really really satisfying when you whip up something and it’s delicious. Eating noodles and microwave meals all the time isn’t really that much better too. You can make a pretty good pasta for like $1-3 or so per portion.

And to those men who say “I’d just marry someone who cooks”, yeah right what if the “one” doesn’t know how to cook?

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Cold Contagious
Community Member
3 weeks ago

A man who can cook decent food, take care of his laundry properly, clean his home, and pay his bills, is so much more attractive than a man that needs to be taken care of.

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#13

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Going to the spa. D**k or no d**k, we all deserve to be pampered every once in awhile.

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Cold Contagious
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Absolutely! Spas should be equally enjoyed by both sexes and men should feel more confident about going.

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#14

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Thinking, talking about and understanding your emotions.

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kennedy1209
Community Member
3 weeks ago

see the therapy post. That one helped with this one!

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#15

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Skirts. They‘re comfortable and should absolutely make their way into male fashion. Kilts are great, just think of what we‘re missing out on.

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Issey
Community Member
3 weeks ago

If you take anatomy into consideration and also the fact that skirts once were an integral part of male fashion, then yes, skirts ahoy! I don't understand why they are a gender thing.

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#16

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Moisturising. Take care of your skin boys.

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martin734
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I spend a lot of time outdoors in all weathers. If I didn't moisturise I would end up looking like Leatherface.

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#17

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Anything?

Real men don't give a s**t that other people think they're being "unmanly". I'll confidently order a cosmo at the bar in my purple shirt because it's a good drink and purple is my favorite color

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Nickie Chan
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Amen bro. Pink shirt and a daiquiri

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#18

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Yo since quarantine I’ve been:

Doing face masks

Using a tinted sunscreen

Using a cerave face wash

Using actual shampoo and conditioner (not the combo garbage) and a leave in

I’ve literally never felt better about my appearance. I’m sure I look the same, but just doing something makes me feel like I’m in control and am helping

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K. Lange
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Selfcare is so important

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#19

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Pedicures. They FEEL great and it's nice to not have to deal with your toenails and dry ass skin on your feet.

Extra bonus: if the technician jokes about painting your toenails, say yes. It will MAKE their day and then you get the extra bonus of showing them off to friends and family. They will laugh too and if they make effeminate jokes, just say you don't care and you're confident in your masculinity that some polish isn't going to bother you. And more importantly, it's FUN.

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Lucinda Speer
Community Member
3 weeks ago

My husband had diabetes, and gets pedis every 4-6 weeks to keep his feet healthy. Black toenail polish is nothing to laugh at.

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#20

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Y'all are not ready to hear this but: prostate orgasms. Get one of those toys made for that.

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martin734
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Those things can be amazing, but I still prefer the real thing though.

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#21

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Be open to the fact that you might be wrong, and when you are, even if you have argued that you were right. Admit that you were wrong.

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Kanuli
Community Member
3 weeks ago

How is that about straight males? I’d say any human should follow this.

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#22

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" I'm all in on the bidet. Bought it for my parents as kind of a prank gift and my dad wouldn't let my mom keep it. "I don't want water shooting up my ass!". I kept it and wouldn't go back. Way cleaner, suprisingly refreshing, and I was the one laughing when nobody could find toilet paper in the stores. A roll lasts me forever now.

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Tobias Reaper
Community Member
3 weeks ago

why is wanting a clean bum gay omg

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#23

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Diffusing a situation without threatening violence. Learn how to argue with logic and how to argue one point at a time without getting overly emotional. And if it comes down to it, and you have to fight someone, you at least tried not to take it to that level. And if you go down, go down swingin and you'll still be the winner.

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BasedWang12
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Bustin out them Air Monarchs a.k.a. the Air Dad Ones

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#24

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Can’t believe nobody mentioned this but broadway musicals, plays, and show tunes in general. They rock.

I can do without the sex suggestions but you all be you.

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BasedWang12
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Hell yee to plays and musicals

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#25

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Nice underwear. Underwear with a built in pouch are super comfortable while supporting your genitals. Also the sexier cuts with less fabric are so much cooler than wearing shorts under pants, the case with boxers. I’m a big dude working in manufacturing and I know you wouldn’t expect me to be wearing a thong most days.

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martin734
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Comfortable underwear is a must. Sexy comfortable underwear is even better.

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#26

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Over the age of 30 or so, having friends and doing things with them. Most people I know, if they have friends at all, they're either work buddies, or family get-togethers. But a couple of guys being friends and leaving the wives to go on a camping trip, etc. just seems weird.

I miss having friends.

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BasedWang12
Community Member
3 weeks ago

amen to this

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#27

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Shaving your legs until they're smooth as glass, and then snuggling down under a soft, fluffy blanket. It's like you're sleeping in butter and it is a feeling everyone should experience in life.

Until the hairs start to come back.

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Dave van Es
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Tip I got from a girl, I really plan to follow through with. Laser hair removal. I'm a hairy gorrila, and I hate it, but I hate shaving more.

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#28

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Skincare.

I don't understand why is so gendered. Why ads focus on 'you can put this black/navy skincare product and still be manly '

It's skin, is an important human organ, and actually not that different in needs from man/woman.

Everyone NEEDS to wash your face properly and to protect it from dehydration and sun damage.

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pusheen buttercup
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Yes! And to avoid skin cancer

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#29

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Getting a massage! My SO never had one and I convinced him to get one. He felt so relieved

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Scott Moore
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I get a deep tissue massage every month and I feel great at the end of each one.

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#30

Straight Guys Are Sharing 30 Everyday Things They Secretly Do That Society Calls "Gay" Gardening. There are so many types and so many uses.

Vegetable gardening (the obvious) saves on money and is great to do with kids. Also gives an excuse for wood/metalworking on raised beds, trellises, etc. You can garden in an apartment with relatively inexpensive aquaponics, also.

Cut flower gardening. Fresh bouquet every day really livens up a house. Buy Zinnia seeds. Ipomoea pandurata, Rudbeckia sp., Echinacea sp. alone will give you plenty of blooms from late May to August, at least. That’s probably a $30 investment from Lowe’s.

Native plant/butterfly gardening. If you want to help the environment, it’s significantly more effective than avoiding plastic straws.

Plant trees. Fruit trees, showy trees, whatever. Incredible investment (in inner city, high end neighborhoods, a mature oak or magnolia can increase property values by %20, and acorns are free, so you’re looking at a huge return in 50 years). Also fantastic for the environment. Try to plant native trees as they tend to be pest resistant and zero maintenance.

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NsG
Community Member
3 weeks ago

Why is gardening considered gay? When was it considered gay? Especially the vegetables and tree growing bits...? I'm a little confused.

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