Never have I thought I'd be taking advice or reading inspirational quotes from a square yellow dish sponge. Yet, here we are, and this is our article of the best SpongeBob SquarePants quotes.
In all truth, I still haven't heard a real dish sponge speak (if I did, I'd be very concerned), only the animated version. However, as you will soon see yourself, SpongeBob is one smart sponge and probably one of the wisest animated characters ever. A sponge with deep knowledge about friendships, the value of imagination, kindness, hope, and all the stuff that makes us better people. And although you wouldn't expect a sponge to be giving you life advice, the weird aspect of the word's embodiment makes all of these motivating quotes even better! But, of course, nothing is weirder than real life itself, so why shouldn't you listen to an animated sponge discussing pressing matters with you!
Okay, so, you caught me - SpongeBob is not, in fact, a dish sponge, but rather a sea sponge. To be more exact - a multicellular organism with a body full of pores and channels allowing water to circulate through them, consisting of jelly-like mesohyl sandwiched between two layers of cells. The more you know! And no, it doesn't have a brain, so it is probably some divine entity that SpongeBob SquarePants is channeling through him. ~Mystical~.
But, enough of all this blabber, and let's finally go to the SpongeBob quotes we've prepared for you! Vote for the funny quotes that stirred something inside you, and share this glorious article with any and all SpongeBob fans that you know!
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SpongeBob: “Patrick, you’re a genius!”
Patrick: “Yeah, I get called that a lot.”
SpongeBob: “What? A genius?”
Patrick: “No, Patrick.”
“Stupidity isn’t a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.” – Sandy
Sandy: “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?”
Patrick: “Not until 4.”
“You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – SpongeBob
“I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.“ – SpongeBob
This is me, except I don't cry anymore because I do it so often.
“Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.” – Plankton
SpongeBob: “I used to have a dream.”
Mr. Krabs: “Yeah? I used to have a kidney stone. Everything passes eventually.”
“You can’t fool me. I listen to public radio!” – Squidward
“Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.” – SpongeBob
“You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich.” – SpongeBob
“Well, it’s no secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets, secretly.” – SpongeBob
“Gary, I’m absorbing his blows like I’m made of some sort of spongy material.” – SpongeBob
"Wake me up when I care." – Squidward
Yeah, I need to make this into a sign and put it...like...everywhere.
“Always follow your heart unless your heart is bad with directions.” – SpongeBob
Caller: “Is this the Krusty Krab?”
Patrick: “No, this is Patrick.”
Squidward: “Do you have to stand so close? You’re making me claustrophobic!” Patrick: “What does claustrophobic mean?”
Spongebob: “I think it means he’s afraid of Santa Claus.”
Patrick: “Ho, Ho, Ho!”
SpongeBob: “Stop it, Patrick! You’re scaring him!”
Police: “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime. [locks SpongeBob and Patrick in jail cell and opens it again after a second] Okay, time’s up. Now get out!”
SpongeBob: “But… we stole a balloon!”
Police: “Yeah, on free balloon day!”
Squidward: “OK now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?”
Plankton: “Do instruments of torture count?”
Squidward : “No.”
Patrick: “Is mayonnaise an instrument?”
Squidward: “No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. Horseradish is not an instrument either.”
“No one can change a person, but someone can be a reason for that person to change.” – SpongeBob
“Give to the Children’s fund? What have the children ever done for me?” – Mr. Krabs
SpongeBob: “Aw, cheer up, Squid! It could be worse!”
Patrick: “Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose.”
SpongeBob: “Wow, Patrick, I didn’t know you spoke bird.”
Patrick: “No, SpongeBob, that’s Italian.”
SpongeBob: "Guess what day today is?"
Patrick: "Annoy Squidward day?"
SpongeBob: "No silly! That’s on the 15!"
“Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…(drools)” – Patrick
"Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells... smelly." - Mr. Krabs
Ah, the very first episode! *"Living in the sunlight" playing in the distance*
SpongeBob: “Quick, Patrick, without thinking: if you could have anything right now, what would it be?“
Patrick: “Um… more time for thinking.”
“I order the food, you cook the food. The customer gets the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die.” – Squidward
“Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – SpongeBob
Oh What part am i supposed to get off of? - Random person sitting on spongebobs face/body
“Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end!” – Patrick
I tell this to my son as a bedtime story. He never gets tired of it.
“This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is… ADVANCED darkness.” – SpongeBob
SpongeBob: “We’re not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic. “
Patrick: “Umm, I got it. Let’s get naked!”
Reg: "Welcome to the Salty Spitoon. How tough are you?"
Tough Fish: "How tough am I? I had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning."
Reg: "Yeah, so?"
Tough Fish: "Without any milk."
Reg: "Uh, right this way. Sorry to keep you waiting."
You might think I’m strange, but for years I though he meant finger nails, not the metal kind. It just hadn’t occurred to me that that would be the case.
SpongeBob: “What’s better than serving up smiles?“
Squidward: “Being dead or anything else.”
“So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.” – Narrator
“I knew a guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy’s cousin…” – SpongeBob
“Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.” – Squidward
“Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!” – SpongeBob
“That’s it, mister! You just lost your brain privileges!” – Plankton
“Hello. You’ve reached the house of unrecognized talent.” – Squidward
Spongebob: “Hi, Kevin. I’m your biggest fan.”
Kevin the Sea Cucumber: “You’re too kind. Security!”
“I’m ugly and I’m proud!” – SpongeBob
"Two words, SpongeBob. Na. Chos." – Patrick
“You’re part of my crew now, and our job is to sail around and frighten people. It’ll be grueling, mind-numbing, and repetitive. Just like… daytime television.” – Flying Dutchman
“F is for a fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium… bombs! N is for no survivors!” – Plankton
“Can you give SpongeBob his brain back, I had to borrow it for the week.” – Patrick
“Me, aggressive?! How dare you?! Maybe you’re right… I command you to help me be a nicer person!” – Plankton
“I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I definitely don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I… need… it!?“ – SpongeBob
"Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home." – SpongeBob
“Squidward... I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet!” – SpongeBob
“I don’t get it. I made my house a mess, which was making it clean, which made Squidward clean my yard, but that really means he’s messing it up. But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he’s Spongebob!” – SpongeBob
Patrick: “Who are you calling Pinhead? I wanna be Dirty Dan.”
SpongeBob: “What makes you think you can be Dirty Dan?”
Patrick: “I’m dirty.”
“You wouldn’t know cool if I locked you in the freezer!” – Mr. Krabs
They left out the last part “for your information, squidward has locked me in the freezer, so I think I know what cool is”
“Listen here, ya little barnacle. No one and I means no one can ever know about this. It’ll be the end of you, it’ll be the end of me. And worst of all, it’ll be the end of me!” – Mr. Krabs
“It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs
Spongebob: “Patrick, I don’t think ‘wumbo’ is a real word.”
Patrick: “Oh come on SpongeBob! You know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me wumbo, wumbo, wumboing, we’ll have thee wumbo, wumborama, wumbology, the study of wumbo? It’s first grade SpongeBob!”
"I'll be there faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot, greasy griddle, in the middle of August!" – Sandy
"It's just a cruel reminder that I'm single and likely to remain that way forever." – Squidward
“Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” – Patrick
“Can I have everybody’s attention?… I have to use the bathroom.” – Patrick
“Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” – Sandy
“I guess hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep!” – Patrick
“Being grown up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz.” – Patrick
SpongeBob: "Eww, I think I stepped in something."
Plankton: "Not in something, on someone!"
“See, no one says “cool” anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say “coral”, as in “That nose job is so coral.” – Pearl Krabs
“Well, the way I see it, there are three possibilities: One, you stole it; two, you stole it; or three, you stole it!” – Mr. Krabs
“If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend… Then it would just be alright.” – SpongeBob
“You need six hundred to pass, you got six.” – Mrs. Puff
"Back in Texas, I wrangled bulls, and I wrangled worms. As far as I'm concerned, doin' em together just saves rope." – Sandy
“I have a square head and a real ghost has a round one. All we have to do is make my head round and boo, I’m scary!” – SpongeBob
“If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.” – SpongeBob
“SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish… [shouting] FOR 12 HOURS!” – Squidward
“I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow but the snow melted and turned into water and I drank all the water now I’m better.” – Patrick
“We don’t need television… not as long as we have our imagination.” – SpongeBob
“I was five years old and my father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar. Loved it like a brother. Me and that dollar went everywhere together.” – Mr. Krabs
"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." – Patrick
"I might as well sleep for 100 years or so." – Squidward
“I’m so loyal, I don’t mind sleeping out in the cold, hard ground while Captain Krabs sleeps in his warm, dry tent.” – SpongeBob
“What’s this ‘we’ stuff? You fed him the tainted patty. Looks like it’s the stony lonesome for you!” – Mr. Krabs
“Boy, that critter put up some sort of fight, but as you can see, I’m from Texas, and no worm is a match for me. I even found my tail!” – Sandy
“Oh, these aren’t homemade. They were made in a factory… a bomb factory. They’re bombs.” – SpongeBob
"I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charm. Indoors. Indoors. Indoors!" – SpongeBob
“I don’t get it. If a free salad bar won’t bring in new customers… what will?” – Mr. Krabs
“Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob
