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No matter our race, religion, or upbringing, we're all equal. Equally dumb, that is. And before you say anything, just remember that thing that keeps you up at night. The one that brought you shame years ago and still haunts you. Humbling, isn't it?
A month ago, Redditor u/lord-stryker117 wanted to hear more about the moments when common sense goes out the window, so they asked other users: "Think of the smartest person you know, what is the dumbest thing they've ever done?" As of today, there are 12,500 comments under u/lord-stryker177's question.
I don't want to spoil anything, you just have to believe me on this one: we all have our moments, and these are some of the funniest and most unfortunate ones.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My dad is the smartest person I (and anyone who knows him) know and once when we were kids he tried to make us laugh by sticking peas in his nostrils and ended up accidentally snorting them up into his nasal passages. Best part: he’s an ear, nose, and throat surgeon. One of the best in the region I can still hear him pleading with my mother to take them out because he couldn’t face his colleagues with peas up his nose that he voluntarily put there.
Gary 4 years ago
My son stuck a piece of sweetcorn in his nose when he was small, I saw it disappear and thought you little twit. I had to breath in to his mouth which made it shoot out his nostril like a pea shooter. Happy Days!!!
Sage Gusano 4 years ago
when I was a kid we lived on a farm. My stepdad was a fireman. He started a control burn of some vegetation that got out of control. My mom called 911. The guys from the fire house he worked at showed up...
MacDudu 4 years ago
You can have titles and accolades and be idiotic, the two are not mutually exclusive.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Oh the embarrassment showing up at work like this! On the other hand, doctors every day see literally all crazy staff so don't worry
Night Owl 4 years ago
And every parent there would understand when he explains that he did it to make his kids laugh
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Bored Birgit 4 years ago
Hahaha! Oh, wait, I'm a coder, and well, been there.
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Nannychachi 4 years ago
While driving past a cemetery we saw men digging a grave on a hillside. I said to my husband, "I wouldn't bury you on a slope like that because I couldn't stand the thought of you slid down to the bottom of the casket and your legs all scrunched up." He said, "They dig the hole flat." Me, "I'M BOOK SMART!"
Claire 4 years ago
My Grandmother was hit by a car in a parking lot. My Grandfather just bundled her up and took her home. She walked on it for 2 weeks complaining of the pain to my Grandfather and uncle (who lived around the corner). Eventually she went into hospital, she had a broken hip. What makes it really bad is my Grandfather is a orthopaedic surgeon who specialises in hips and my uncle is a Radiologist.
RELATED:
#2
Brother in law is a pretty clever guy. Ran a bath for his kid, couldn't get the tap to turn off, mad panic, rang a plumber friend asking him to come round quick or the house is gonna flood. Friend was like, you could just pull the plug?
Real nice, real clever guy. Zero common sense
Serial pacifist 4 years ago
I always panic when it comes to uncontrolled water running. Had a similar experience. It knocks the common sense out of you.
Earl Grey 4 years ago
Industrial safety training emphasizes this exact point about panic reactions, which is why rules about what to do in specific situations are taught and memorized. When something goes horribly wrong, you don’t have time to “think” it through, and your brain won’t work that way regardless. This is a good example.
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Vicky Z 4 years ago
Always!! That's the reason i very rarely fill it!!! It's such a pain to drain it
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Tweetysvoice 4 years ago (edited)
My accelerated 3rd grade science class had a logic puzzle question with that exact scenario on our final! "How do you avoid drowning in a 10x10x8ft room with no windows and a sealed and locked door after your tub's faucet fell off and there's no way to stop the water from flowing at a rate of 25g per minute?"
Auntriarch 4 years ago
Absolutely true 😊. Baths require bubbles. And if a small proportion of bubbles are in a glass, so much the better
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Henry Russell 4 years ago
that describes me i m told i am a smart erson but has no common sense
#3
I was picking up my date (future wife) when her valedictorian roommate turned quickly away from the TV and said in all seriousness “don’t look, they’re welding! It will damage your eyes”. She got more serious as I continued to look back and forth at the tv and her. She actually yelled “it’s going to blind you!” I then asked her “So when your tv is showing an image of the sun…”. That’s as far as I got. You could see the wave of embarrassment wash over her face, she immediately started laugh/crying and begged me not to tell anyone.
beastmachine. 4 years ago
And oh I even had a 3D TV, I have no clue I am alive after watching all those Avengers movies
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Andy Acceber 4 years ago
At least she realized her mistake. Better than the political leaders who look directly into the sun during an eclipse.
Touch Connors 4 years ago
My guess is she had a family member who was a welder and it was constantly reinforced not to look at the arc. It was so ingrained not to look that, instinct > context. And good on them because welding flash sucks. It's like a sunburn for your eye.
#4
My friend has a master's degree in mechanical engineering and robotics. He once made a potato salad with raw potatoes because he thought, since it's a salad, you're not supposed to cook it.
Vicky Z 4 years ago (edited)
I've read somewhere that this was the reason why potatoes were not so popular at first! Since it was a vegetable, people were trying them raw and of course they were horrible! It was until someone suggested to boil them, that they became popular
Cheri Aline Sydney 4 years ago
When I was little, we would get raw potato pieces as snacks.... We all liked them... We lived in a rural area and it didn't seem odd to us ~
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Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Any recipe would still tell you to cook the potatoes and the hard texture of the raw potato should have clued him in
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Diana Pahule 4 years ago
I'm sorry, but even now men are not being taught simple domestic skills.
ravina nimje 4 years ago
Honestly, engineering does have cooking as the subject. And first ENT specialist stuck pea in his nostril. We are expecting too much from an engineer.
Bored Birgit 4 years ago (edited)
I once made a 'Toast hawaii' in the oven without toastIng the bread before. I felt so dumb.
#5
My sister. My wonderful sister. So intelligent, educated… but dang. They had their house inspected and the inspector found an issue with their gas heat. Called in a repairman and it turns out the were having lower levels of carbon monoxide leaking into their home. When my mom asked her why she didn’t have several working detectors she answered “well I did, but one just wouldn’t quit beeping”. This was 10 years ago and we still bring it up all the time. Thankfully everyone turned out to be ok, but that wouldn’t have been the case much longer.
James016 4 years ago
This reminds me of the episode of Fawlty Towers where the guest Mrs Richards refuses to use her hearing aid as it drains the battery.
Earl Grey 4 years ago
Or the Monty Python sketch where the Fire Brigade takes the phone off the hook because it won’t stop ringing.
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Luke Stein 4 years ago
I wonder who the voice actor is for the smoke alarms when you put new batteries in and have to run through the tests. I swear his wife would have divorced him within the month due to hearing loss.
CindyLouWho1209 4 years ago
Sounds like my mom. She wouldn't turn on her cell phone cuz it drained the battery lol! 😅🤣😅
Leigh C. 4 years ago
My ex father in-law can build a computer from scratch. I brought up getting a carbon monoxide detector. This guy told me they used to have one but got rid of it because they were tired of constantly changing the battery and it never went off so they deemed it useless. I think some people are so analytical they over-shoot past common sense.
#6
My brother was in uni in the UK And needed a toaster. He ordered on off of Amazon for £3 and was surprised to find one so cheap. Turns out it was a kids toy, it came with plastic pieces of bread as well.
Cheri Aline Sydney 4 years ago
: ))))))). Me, too! ..... That's one way to cut carbs!
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Tassenküchlein168 4 years ago (edited)
I would never buy a real toaster for so little money either. I don't have enough money to buy poor quality appliances.
Jackie Porter 4 years ago
I once bought some Doc Marten boots of ebay for 99p. Size 8 perfect size for me. I was very disappointed to find out when they arrived they were child's size 8 :(
#7
My one college professor had a double doctorate, several masters, and was literally was the head of the national magazine for his field and had a lot of respect in the science community. He didn't know electric eels were real. Like he argued with us.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Not so much! There are doctors that don't believe in vaccines and pilots that think the earth is flat! Are you still shocked?
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Lunar Bicycle 4 years ago
I guess the question is: doctorates and masters in what field(s)? A person could know everything in the world about politics and economics, but think that whales are fish.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
If his field wasn't ichthyology or marine science or something I don't see the problem. Being hyper specialized often means you only know a lot about this one specific thing.
#8
while applying for a job, he thought “sick pay” meant that the job paid really well
Angela B 4 years ago
No. If he were, it would have been "fully sick" pay.
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Matheus Oliveira 4 years ago
Would anyone be so kind as to enlighten me: is this an USA thing?
Life is ? 4 years ago
Sick in American informal language means "awesome".
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Katherine Boag 4 years ago
Places dont have to advertise sick pay here, as paid sick leave is legally required
#9
My brother has PhDs in bioengineering. We were on a call one day and he was saying "i can't find my phone. Probably my kids took it." Didn't realize until i told him that he was using his phone to talk to me.
Chucky Cheezburger 4 years ago
Ive done this with my glasses...Not sunglasses lost on top of my head. I mean my vision correction glasses. Could not find them anywhere. They were on my face. I was literally looking through them trying to find said glasses.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
My father used to lose them on the top of his head and storm around the house looking for them while we giggled like mad. The weirdest though was the one time they turned up in the fridge. My brother found them and asked Dad wtf would he put his glasses in the fridge. Dad replied "he wanted some cool-shades" ( they were reading glasses). Max dad energy.
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Luis Hernandez Dauajare 4 years ago
Confession: I consider myself a smart guy. I once used my landline to dial myself to find my phone. Found it. Ten minutes later, I proceed to call back the missed call...and then answer myself on the landline... *facepalm*
Vicky Z 4 years ago
I've done something even more embarrassing! I was at the airport shopping at the duty free section and suddenly i realise i don't have my phone! I start to panic, search around and run to a security guy to alert him that i have lost my phone and my flight is leaving soon! He was patient and calm enough to inform me that i was holding it under my wallet🙄
Thomas Hiette 4 years ago
Back in the modem days, I get a call at work from wife. Tells me computer is acting up. She connects to an internet site just fine, but when she calls her friend the computer loses the site. Gently reminded her, the modem uses the telephone line,,,,,
Radek Suski 4 years ago
So I was talking to my wife on the phone while using a radiation detector and was literally telling my wife whilst walking around the house how much radiation there in every corner...before realising I'm walking with my mobile phone in one hand (hint) and the detector in the other
#10
My aunt. College professor. PhD in mathematics. Was blown away when watching my father cook rice without a rice cooker.
Karen Grace 4 years ago
I'm currently "toasting" my bread in a dry frying pan. Works pretty good.
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Molly Whuppie 4 years ago
reminds of a lifehacker article I read once, and they were so excited and hyped to share with everyone they had found a way to bake bread... without a bread maker!
Vermillion Ace #443 4 years ago
I've cooked rice on a stovetop for years myself, especially when I learned some basic cooking lessons. Trick is to get it to a boil, turn the heat low and let it sit until the water is boiled off, stir occasionally and keep the lid on as much as possible. 👍 2 cups of water per cup of rice too.
Prilsy 4 years ago
If you use 1,5 cups of water per cup of rice you don't need to stir more than once. Just keep the lid on and it'll be ready in 20 minutes.
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Dre Mosley 4 years ago
I've gotten pretty good at cooking rice with just a pot. I could see myself impulse buying a rice cooker during some late night Amazon browsing though.
#11
My friend M is really good at math. She literally minored in it for fun.
One day, we were walking along, and she said "guys, I saw something on Facebook this morning - we're only 81 years from the year 3000." (This was in 2019.)
I thought she was making fun of the silly Facebook people. Then she said "isn't that crazy?" And then I realized that my friend who enjoyed calculus... Genuinely thought that 2019+81=3000. I had to break it to her gently. I will never let her live it down.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
It reminds me of the people who think the year represents the Earth's age
Vicky Z 4 years ago (edited)
I like the fact that they specified this was in 2019! No matter what year it was the calculation wouldn't be correct anyway
Dynein 4 years ago (edited)
Except with the specified year, the numbers do line up! Not to 3000, but it's a nice round number (adds up to 2100). I've actually made that type of calculation error plenty of times. My brain deals with the single-digit calculations correctly... but then I make a weird misstep in assembling and interpreting the results. This one sounds like "if I add 81 to the year 2019, that evens out the 19, and because the 19 was attached to 2000, I take the next equally 'nice' number after 2000 which would be 3000".
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SirPatTheCat 4 years ago
Ok to be fair though, I could be considered good at math, but I am still easily confused when I don't see it written out. Leads to some very stupid mistakes but I really need to be able to see all the information haha
Johnny 4 years ago
Math and arithmetic are very different, you can be bad at one and great at the other.
Kenneth McCartney 3 years ago
Yeah, you may be good at formulas and equations on paper, but bad at math at the top of your head.
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Dynein 4 years ago (edited)
I can totally see the thought process, having done similar miscalculations myself several times: "if I add 81 to the year 2019, that evens out the 19, and because the 19 was attached to 2000, I take the next equally 'nice' number after 2000 which would be 3000". I do that especially when I'm tired... and btw I'm a STEM PhD student...
pebs 4 years ago
Definitely your friend is not at all good at math. I just don't understand how you can say it.
Eppe 4 years ago
Math is different from adding and substracting numbers. Just like being able to come up with great stories is different from spelling the words correctly.
Load More Replies... #12
My husband. He’s a mathematician for the Feds, but he has repeatedly gotten us to the wrong airport in cities that have more than one. Like at least three times. He’s brilliant, but a moron.
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
Yep. My father is a legit genius. My mother says he could get lost in a paper bag. My brother is also a legit genius. He got lost one day walking home from high school. Our house was on the same street as the school; it was a straight walk and a route he'd taken twice a day for years. He walked out the school doors and turned right instead of left. It took him an hour to realize he' was lost. We realized he'd inherited my father's sense of direction.
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Bad sense of direction is real! I have lived in a small city all my life and get lost regularly, I rely on maps 🤦♀️ today I got lost in a building.
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AdamKingXV 4 years ago
I would question the intelligence of the person still leaving him responsible for getting you to the airport as well.
Vernice Aure 4 years ago
The thing that many people don't understand is that there is a trade-off. often the higher the IQ, the larger a deficit elsewhere. Genius is a double edged sword.
Leslie Burleson 4 years ago
My husband has been a pilot for 25 years and he has a terrible sense of direction
ravina nimje 4 years ago
Brilliant people are often not present in the present situation, which makes it difficult to handle day-to-day tasks like these.
#13
My colleague was tasked to put mail into the mailbox.
She asked me where it is and what it looks like.
"Around the corner, and it's a red box"
Turns out, there is another red box marked "GENERAL WASTE"
About 2m away, is the red box that spells out "AUSTRALIA POST"
She's been throwing away mail.
Sian Edwards 4 years ago
Could BP not find a picture of an Australian post box? This one is Danish.
Shelli Aderman 4 years ago
Don’t blame her, actually… 😳 https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/news/14177491/rubbish-bins-painted-red-like-post-boxes-baffle-users/amp/
Sa Ruuu 4 years ago
It still takes less than 5 sec to read litter or mail and since she couldn't tell the difference, that's really sad
Load More Replies... Night Owl 4 years ago
(insert a request for Louis DeJoy to be fired here)
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Iva Kazalova 4 years ago
It doesn’t sound like your colleague is a brightly-lit bulb in the first place
#14
I have a neighbor, he is by far the smartest person I know. A couple fourth of July’s ago he got a quarter stick of dynamite, and strapped it to an rc boat with a detonate button and a timer. He sent it out on the lake at night, flipped the switch and it didn’t go off. So he took it back into the house to fix it, but never turned the detonate button off. So when it was fixed the 7 second timer started going. It ended up going off in the house and blowing out all of the windows. Everyone was safe.
Miss Cris 4 years ago
Why would anyone want to explode dynamite in a lake? And isn't it illegal?
Sharrow 4 years ago
Maybe he was dynamite fishing? Explosion stuns the fish, and then one just needs to come with a net and collect them, or so I understand. I think it's illegal in many places, I don't know about America.
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#15
They used their bare hand to check if the stove was still hot by pressing it directly on the burner, and they had two doctorates.
Kiss Army 4 years ago
I am well educated and I think I am smart (most days) but once I was cooking and was having trouble cutting something so I ran my finger over the blade of the knife to see if it was still sharp... It was.
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Vicky Z 4 years ago (edited)
This sounds more like distraction honestly.... I've made many times the stupid mistake to touch something that just came out of the oven with bare hands, or touch the burner that i just switched off, forgetting that it would still be hot... I like to think i was distracted and not plain stupid
Diana Pahule 4 years ago
I never touch things that have been in the oven without a mit. Ever.
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Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Confession: I have an MD and did this twice in my life. TWICE. For the love of heaven. When you're tired, stressed, and thinking of what you need to do and not what you're doing.... Yeah. twice. Mock away.
Bobert Robertson 4 years ago
I did something like this last week.. had a bonfire, friends were visiting and he went to check on the kids while I stayed with our wives. They got tired so I spread out the logs to put the fire out. Shortly after he comes down and asked if we were going back to the fire, so I go out with him, start gathering up logs, and decided it was smart to pick up a smoldering log with my bare hands. Burnt the crap out of one of my fingers. This was after several bottles of wine and I wasn't thinking straight.
Id row 4 years ago
Reminds me of my sister wondering if the knives she saw at the store were sharp. They were sharper than she was. She sliced her finger pretty deep.
#16
I know a guy with a PhD who thought reindeer were fictional
ʕ º ᴥ ºʔ 4 years ago
They're not?! So Rudolf and I can be friends then! Yay! You lean something new everyday!
Ozacoter 4 years ago (edited)
Fun fact: Male reindeers lose their antlers before xmas which means that Rudolf and all the other reindeers of Santa are females :)
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Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Fun fact - that picture is not a reindeer NOR a caribou. That's a fallow deer.
Dorothy Parker 4 years ago
Someone on another bored panda thread had a date who thought foxes were fictional. Of course, they're so adorable they might as well be.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
In fairness if English is not his first language many languages don't distinguish between caribou and reindeer. They are the same animal, just one is wild and one is domesticated.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Uhm... no? Reindeer is the English name that stems from Europe (Ren in Swedish, Rentier or Ren in German and reinsdyr in Norwegian as well as Danish) while caribou is the name taken from the Mi'kmaq from Northern America.
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H Edwards 4 years ago
I think quite a few people grow up thinking that. Unless you live in a Nordic country or something, then you maybe just assume that at some point and then never think about it again until the day you realise that they are in fact real.
Anna Solan 4 years ago
I guess these are people that grew up without National Geographic. I watched tons of nature shows as a kid.
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Aroha 4 years ago
I was watching a movie with a friend when a moose was shown. She was absolutely horrified that such a creature was real and not a computer effect. It took her some convincing too. 😅
Katchen 4 years ago
Moose are far more giant and terrifying than Bullwinkle led me to believe, for sure.
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My friend in college graduated Summa Cum Laude with a double major in Biology and Chemistry. She went on to medical school and became a physician in a hospital you’ve definitely heard of.
One day she put a fork in the microwave when heating up a bowl of green beans, and I had to explain to her why the microwave sounded like it was full of firecrackers.
Robert T 4 years ago
Depends on the microwave. Mine actually recommends that you put a (metal) spoon into a liquid to prevent it boiling over and the metal rack stays in place when using it. But normal microwaves, no, you don't put metal in them. Sparky sparky crackle pop bang!
Peko 4 years ago
It depends on the shape of the metal object, a spoon is pretty safe in any microwave.
Load More Replies... Anna Solan 4 years ago
Maybe she just never knew why all her microwaves kept breaking.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
She a medical doctor, not a physicist specializing in electromagnetism. ---- a standard disclaimer of many MDs, me included.
Kaisa Koo 4 years ago (edited)
Once some older gentleman I visited told me he was heating some soup in the microwave. There was a small steelkettle in, but no damage done. He was 90+ years old and didn't know. But now I know that it's the shape : https://www.hunker.com/12224693/is-it-safe-to-put-stainless-steel-in-a-microwave
Philly Bob Squires 4 years ago
My father worked for NASA as a re-entry systems specialist and could never get a VCR to stop blinking 12:00! LOL
Krásnoočko Zelené 4 years ago
I know a chemist-physicist who casually microwaves various metal stuff. The thing is, the metal itself is not a problem - it actually depends on its texture, shape, number of layers etc... it comes natural to that guy and as far as I know he never blew anything up or set a fire *this way* (he did set a fire some other way, that's a story for a different time). In theory, puting a solid cast iron pot in a microwave can be absolutely fine and I've seen him do it - but I would never try it nonetheless. :D
Guy MacGregor 4 years ago
"a hospital you’ve definitely heard of" Well... As far as I know, hospitals are not rock bands nor museums.
Chancey 4 years ago
Summa Cum Laude is Latin for "with highest praise" and I believe is usually given to someone with a 4.0 GPA.
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#18
My brothers friend was highschool valedictorian. In college, he gathered up deer turds to play a practical joke on his roommate by putting said deer turds into a box of coco puffs cereal. 2 days later he forgets about the deer turds and goes to pour himself a bowl of coco puffs. Instead of nice, sugary cereal, he gets a spoonful of deer turds.
Dirk Daring 4 years ago
Tampering with someone's food is a rotten thing to do to begin with, but trying to feed someone fecal matter should be grounds for justifiable homicide.
#19
I lived in Colorado Springs. My friend came into town and was booked into a hotel. I called and asked for the name or address of the hotel and he told me he did not know, but he could see the mountains from where he was. He narrowed his location down to a time zone.
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
I was flying to Colorado Springs with a friend who had only lived on the west coast. As we flew over the Rocky Mountains, the largest mountain range in the country, my friend looked out the plane window asked, "What's that?" Apparently, she didn't quite understand what mountains looked like from above.
Tina Hugh 4 years ago
Girl can't even look out a window and ask what's that when she sees something she's never seen before.
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Patrick McKemie 4 years ago
I once had a friend not be able to find her hotel because, "They all look a like". Nope. It turns out they all have gigantic signs attacked to them that are completely different.
rumade 4 years ago
Usually hotels have the name on loads of stuff in the room! Pad of paper, brochure etc
M O'Connell 4 years ago
In my experience there is usually a sticker directly on the phone that has the address of the hotel, and the room number!
Load More Replies... Johnny 4 years ago (edited)
If it's the adddress isn't printed on the phone, I'm not surprised, I used to travel for work enough that I'd have to look at the reservation on my phone to find my hotel ("was it the hyatt or the marriott? I can' remember") and would snap a photo of the room number so I could find the room, since hotel corridors all look alike after a while.
Magpie 4 years ago
My friend and I went to Disney world in the 90s and got separated after a night out. The guy who offered to drive me to my hotel must have thought I was a moron when I told him I would need to look at a phone book to see if any of the hotel names or addresses sounded familiar. I eventually got to the hotel and he didn’t murder me. Win win.
#20
my dad. he had one of his ears pierced when he was in college. he went to a party wearing an earring. a girl started talking to him and decided to give him one of her earrings, but he didn't want to take his earring out, so he stabbed her earring through his unpierced earlobe. this man is now an engineer.
Monday 4 years ago
You think he realized halfway through that it was a stupid idea, but was too committed to stop?
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Serial pacifist 4 years ago
Imagining the anguish and him pretending that he's just too cool to feel the pain.
Gandalf the Pink 4 years ago
I hadn't scrolled all the way down yet so I only saw "but he didn't want to take his earring out, so he stabbed her" well that escalated quickly
Eithne Griffiths 4 years ago
One day I asked my husband for help with an earring I couldn't get in. ( before we got married I had my ears pierced but jumped with the first one making it go in at an angle) So he grabbed my lobe saw the hole and pushed hard, he then went on to say " should it be bleeding"? It hurt like heck. But at least it is straight now.
Eithne Griffiths 4 years ago
I forgot to mention that he has just retired from teaching 4th year chemistry at University.
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John Topper 4 years ago
I was a piercing artist in a tattoo shop for a couple of years. This is far more common than you probably think. I've known at least 10 people who did this. Granted all ten are morons, but still ...
TheWickedOne 4 years ago
I've pierced my own ear, was not fun.. and I had a nice needle.. can't imagine using just an earring, lol
#21
I did my undergrad with a guy who got an almost perfect score on his MCAT but also ate a raw chicken breast because he thought it was a really bad hot pocket (he was sober)
Honu 4 years ago
I can't imagine getting past the first bite. Even if he didn't find it too disgusting to eat, it should've at least been clear at that point it was neither hot nor a pocket.
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Katinka Min 4 years ago (edited)
I'm on a diet- I'll just print out this post and stick it on the fridge as a great deterrent to never eat anything ever again.
Ren Karlej 4 years ago (edited)
That should do it!! Though so would a bout of Salmonella - colleague of mine lost a lot of weight that way. She felt terrible though, so not recommended!
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Tweetysvoice 4 years ago
Hope he didn't get salmonella! I had it once and was surprised to learn they don't have a treatment for it!
Hermione 4 years ago
The treatment is that everything on your insides end up outside.
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Nini* Mini* 4 years ago
With only education you will end up doing crazy stuff with simple tasks,you gotta have common sense too
#22
Couldn't figure out how a shower curtain worked so she flooded my bathroom.
MAL 4 years ago
My sister (two doctorates, three languages, professor) had to replace her bathroom floor because of this exact thing. Said she just couldn't figure out how to keep the water inside the shower so she'd lay a bunch of towels outside the tub to soak up the water, which warped the laminate. I explained that you just put the curtain inside the shower and she still didn't get it so I had to show her. Brilliant, but such an idiot.
Katherine Boag 4 years ago
Shower curtains BARELY work anyway, they always blow in and touch my leg ew ew
Devil's Advocate 4 years ago
The same people put their waterproof trousers*inside* their boots when it's raining hard
A Cat Named Dragon 4 years ago
I don’t think that’s intuitive. If you’ve never used a shower with a curtain before and no one told you… I think the same would happen to you.
Requiem 4 years ago
You wont flood the bathroom. Ive had showers in places Ive just moved into and didnt have a curtain yet, so showering with No curtain barely got the floor wet
BluEyedSeoulite 4 years ago
Depends on the person and the tub/shower layout
Load More Replies... Diana Pahule 4 years ago
I was genuinely shocked at how effective a cloth shower curtain can be.
#23
My older brother was the highschool validictorian and decided to cut an apple with a large knife while holding it in his hand. He has a lovely scar from it.
June 4 years ago
My mom bought me a knife with a round tip for me to cut apples for my ponies, because she KNEW I would stab my own hand otherwise. She knows that I'm rather smart but still often do stoopid things.
Zaza 4 years ago
I sort of grew up in a bakery. Dad made cakes and all that, partner baked bread and such. We (siblings and myself) grew up spending lots of time there, learning everything, including handling sharp knives, well aware of what can happen. Went to a school where we had home ec classes, repeating this over and over again. Safety first and all that. And still I was stubborn enough to want to cut a piece of hard cheese in my hand with a dull kitchen knife (potato peel/veggie cutting kind of knife), jabbing it into the side of my thumb. Think I learned from that? Nope, did the exact same thing again, with the exact same dull little knife 3 years later, almost severing nerves and tendons. Hurt like a bitch and I still have a thick scar from that 2nd time. No, I'm not exactly stupid. I have a fairly high iq (no genius well but above average) and got into the best classes. Still stabbed myself. With a dull knife. Repeatedly
DC 4 years ago
I once wanted to peel an onion and, therefore, cut open the ... paperish stuff around it. I used a knife that hadn't been sharpened lately, so was pretty dull ... took some pressure to force it into, but once the first layer of onion paper had given in, the knife went through the entire onion, and into my hand. Ouch, onion juice really DOES hurt in an open wound.......
Auntriarch 4 years ago
Trying to core a cauliflower to bake whole. Nearly cut the top of my thumb off. Christmas morning. Made their day at the Ledbury minor injuries unit. On the other hand (as it were) I was bandaged up and in the pub by 11
Jyri Hakola 4 years ago
It`s a thin line between plain stupidity and overconfidence on skills how to handle a knife
lazy panda 4 years ago
One of my friends in college was trying to cut a large chocolate bar with a paring knife. Instead of cutting it on a solid surface like a normal person, she chose to cut it on her lap. I was the lucky one who got to take her to the ER for stitches.
#24
No joke, poured gasoline on a campfire.
Tweetysvoice 4 years ago
Last time we had a supposed gas shortage and idiots were rushing to hoard gas, I saw someone filling black plastic bags with gas...
Wyn Williams 4 years ago
A few people blew their cars up or for bad burns because the don't seem to realize why it's called gas...
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Kesam 4 years ago
I once used a can of gasoline to fill up a cooker, the used a match to light the cooker, with the can of gasoline still open. There was a second when I was going to "extinguish" the burning match in the "water" that was in the can. I realised my mistake when the flame was about 5 cm from the opening. I'm still alive, 25 years and many other stupid things later. 😊
Cheri Aline Sydney 4 years ago
You might want to be certain you keep your life insurance up-to-date...
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Colin Matthews 4 years ago
Don't do this ever ever ever if you need accelerant, use Diesel.burns but doesn't explode
Masen Silas 4 years ago
One time my brother and I started a small fire in a Walmart garden center (we were like 6 and 8)... It got out of hand so instead of the hose we grabbed the red jug we thought was water. It practically exploded... We ran. A little while late heard a code go off over the speakers...
Scarlett knudson 4 years ago
Ha once I was camping (when I was a kid) and I made a friend and went over to their campsite and they were having a fire their dad was a fire fighter and didn’t know how to start a fire and put a gallon of gasoline on the fire and I remember this because it was the biggest fire I had ever seen at the time
Kristine Phillips 4 years ago
My cousin set a barrel of gas on fire, he lost his eyebrows, wasn't injured too bad, luckily.
allan dorfling 4 years ago
Done multiple times!!!not safe not smart but pretty amazing to watch...and no nobody or stuff ever got hurt...might be a idiot but not a dumb idiot
#25
Swallowed an entire Jenga piece.
Whole
Francis 4 years ago
from the reddit post: the person did it as a dare and had to go to the ER to get it removed afterwards
Dave 4 years ago
Goes to show, no matter the education, common sense is foreign to every level of humanity. In fact, common sense is the most uncommon indeed.
A Cat Named Dragon 4 years ago
It isn’t clear from the post what education level the subject attained… or even that it was a person…
Load More Replies... John Topper 4 years ago
That's actually kind of impressive. I still struggle with small pills if I don't have water ...
Etima Ukpong 4 years ago
i struggle with small pills whether i have water or not
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#26
Tried jumping over a pallet of boxes with their arms tied behind their back. Split lip open.
Diana Pahule 4 years ago
I just read something on this site I think about the human brain not reaching maturity until age 25.
#27
I graduated with someone who got a perfect S A.T score, but managed to cut off two fingers in shop class while trying to make a birdhouse.
Devil's Advocate 4 years ago
Common sense says you keep your fingers WELL away from the table saw
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Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Those two skills ( being good at standardized testing, using power tools) are not transferable. Knowing the difference between a smile and a metaphor will not help you use a table saw.
AdamKingXV 4 years ago
Where do you think you keep all the SAT answers in your brain? You gotta use some of the "How to safely make a birdhouse" space.
Shelli Aderman 4 years ago
There’s smart, and there’s intelligent. The two do not always meet… 😉
Mazer 4 years ago
My cousins ex did that, he was working brake pressure, turned to answer someone and cut off all the fingers on his right hand. He still managed to play the piano
Paddling Panda 4 years ago
I play piano and the thought of losing even the TIP of one of my fingers freaks me right out. Your cousin is my hero.
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Flash Henry 4 years ago
This happened like every other week in the wood shop when I was in college.
Pink Floydian Panda 4 years ago
Reminds me of the Breakfast Club scene between the jock and the nerd: "Are you calling me stupid because I could not make a birdhouse?" "No, I am calling you a genius because you could not make a birdhouse." Sick burn by the jock! No wonder he got to coach the Mighty Ducks.
Jessica Combrink 4 years ago
I knew someone who had his one finger sawed off accidentally. When asked by the supervisor what happened, he demonstrated and lost his other finger - wasn't a bright moment there.
What do you think ?
Kim Kermes 4 years ago
My brother was a chemical engineer, navigated fighter/light bombers, rose to the rank of Lt. Colonel, but argued with a crazy woman holding a chain saw. She was me.
NsG 4 years ago
There's a school of thought that suggests that the cleverer a person is, the more likely they are to do dumb stuff if they are distracted by their field of expertise. So, to elaborate, someone thinking about complex mathematics problems will microwave a spoon, because they've turned off the thinking parts of the brain not associated with mathematics to conserve energy and divert resources to the "more important" task. Some others of these are simply down to different life experiences - you can be a genius and get confused by multiple airports if you've never been to that city before. And then again, I'm not sure the bar for "smartest" was set very high with some of these...
Amina Hays 4 years ago
I'm a biomedical scientist in histopathology and a member of Mensa. I didn't understand the play on words in 'The Beatles' until I was 30. Oh the shame, the shame of it all! :-D
Ricky Hunter 4 years ago
Depression has been beating me for the last few days and these have really cheered me up,thank you 🙂
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
That's good to read. I am a sufferer myself - small uplifts from things like this can seriously make a difference!!
Load More Replies...
IlovemydogShilo 4 years ago
My friend has a brother who has several degrees in engineering and now teaches it in a well known UK college as well as works for the local council. He was living in his new apartment when he took delivery of a new dishwasher. The delivery guy offered to set it up for him but he declined saying he was an Engineer so fixing in a new dishwasher should be easy enough for him. The next evening he was in college giving a lecture when the college secretary ran in and told him his apartment was on fire. He left quickly and got there just in time to see the firemen put out the last of the flames. He was told that it looked like the fire had started with the dishwasher. Upset my friends brother told the firefighter that it was brand new. The firefighter replied that the dishwasher was not plumbed in just plugged in and then when it was turned on it overheated and caught fire. You would think that an Engineer would know that you need water to wash dishes.
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
My brother is an electrical engineer and an electrician (change of career as he thought it would be easier - tip, it is not but for different reasons!). There are things that the latter are trained in that the former do not know - he's had to correct mistakes made by the former (mistakes he might have made without the additional training and qualifications).
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Yep. Great friend in college. We spent half our time yanking her out of the way of oncoming traffic. Brilliant mind? Yes. Situational awareness? Not so much. Got her PhD, works in AI, married an astrophysicist, still walks without looking to see if there's traffic coming... Of course, now she lives in Seattle, so maybe it's the coffee ;-P
Katie Lutesinger 4 years ago
Time to quote one of my favourite lines from I, Robot: "You are the DUMBEST smart person I have ever met in my life!"
Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
I know the feeling! A few years ago I stopped at a bank to use the ATM. When I got out of my car I couldn't remove the keys, and I couldn't start my car either, so I called AAA. The man arrives, and politely points out that my automatic-shift car was not in park! I give him credit - he wasn't snarky at all, just understanding.
Load More Replies...
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 4 years ago
I'm in all honors and AP classes and I keep smiling under my mask like an idiot thinking people can see it.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Keep smiling. I even wear bright red lipstick under mine. WE can feel the smile. And it shows in your eyes. :-)
Load More Replies... Kesam 4 years ago
My dad. Respected surgeon. Super smart. Asked me out of the blue one day how Moon phases work.
Zak Rasten 4 years ago
You would be surprised how many people don't know basic facts about astronomy such as is the moon or the sun closer to Earth, or have no idea of the size of either of them or their distances from us
Load More Replies... Kim Kermes 4 years ago
My brother was a chemical engineer, navigated fighter/light bombers, rose to the rank of Lt. Colonel, but argued with a crazy woman holding a chain saw. She was me.
NsG 4 years ago
There's a school of thought that suggests that the cleverer a person is, the more likely they are to do dumb stuff if they are distracted by their field of expertise. So, to elaborate, someone thinking about complex mathematics problems will microwave a spoon, because they've turned off the thinking parts of the brain not associated with mathematics to conserve energy and divert resources to the "more important" task. Some others of these are simply down to different life experiences - you can be a genius and get confused by multiple airports if you've never been to that city before. And then again, I'm not sure the bar for "smartest" was set very high with some of these...
Amina Hays 4 years ago
I'm a biomedical scientist in histopathology and a member of Mensa. I didn't understand the play on words in 'The Beatles' until I was 30. Oh the shame, the shame of it all! :-D
Ricky Hunter 4 years ago
Depression has been beating me for the last few days and these have really cheered me up,thank you 🙂
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
That's good to read. I am a sufferer myself - small uplifts from things like this can seriously make a difference!!
Load More Replies... IlovemydogShilo 4 years ago
My friend has a brother who has several degrees in engineering and now teaches it in a well known UK college as well as works for the local council. He was living in his new apartment when he took delivery of a new dishwasher. The delivery guy offered to set it up for him but he declined saying he was an Engineer so fixing in a new dishwasher should be easy enough for him. The next evening he was in college giving a lecture when the college secretary ran in and told him his apartment was on fire. He left quickly and got there just in time to see the firemen put out the last of the flames. He was told that it looked like the fire had started with the dishwasher. Upset my friends brother told the firefighter that it was brand new. The firefighter replied that the dishwasher was not plumbed in just plugged in and then when it was turned on it overheated and caught fire. You would think that an Engineer would know that you need water to wash dishes.
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
My brother is an electrical engineer and an electrician (change of career as he thought it would be easier - tip, it is not but for different reasons!). There are things that the latter are trained in that the former do not know - he's had to correct mistakes made by the former (mistakes he might have made without the additional training and qualifications).
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Yep. Great friend in college. We spent half our time yanking her out of the way of oncoming traffic. Brilliant mind? Yes. Situational awareness? Not so much. Got her PhD, works in AI, married an astrophysicist, still walks without looking to see if there's traffic coming... Of course, now she lives in Seattle, so maybe it's the coffee ;-P
Katie Lutesinger 4 years ago
Time to quote one of my favourite lines from I, Robot: "You are the DUMBEST smart person I have ever met in my life!"
Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
I know the feeling! A few years ago I stopped at a bank to use the ATM. When I got out of my car I couldn't remove the keys, and I couldn't start my car either, so I called AAA. The man arrives, and politely points out that my automatic-shift car was not in park! I give him credit - he wasn't snarky at all, just understanding.
Load More Replies... BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 4 years ago
I'm in all honors and AP classes and I keep smiling under my mask like an idiot thinking people can see it.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Keep smiling. I even wear bright red lipstick under mine. WE can feel the smile. And it shows in your eyes. :-)
Load More Replies... Kesam 4 years ago
My dad. Respected surgeon. Super smart. Asked me out of the blue one day how Moon phases work.
Zak Rasten 4 years ago
You would be surprised how many people don't know basic facts about astronomy such as is the moon or the sun closer to Earth, or have no idea of the size of either of them or their distances from us
Load More Replies... You May Like People Share Things That Exist Only Because People Are Dumb 50 Slightly Odd Things You Have Probably Secretly Done That Everyone Else Has Too
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