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Did you know that sleep talking is one of the most common abnormal behaviors that can happen during sleep? Formally referred to as somniloquy, this disorder characterizes talking while sleeping without being aware of it. And it can be so. much. fun. Well, maybe not for the person who's doing the talking, but rather the one who gets to hear it. Because let's face it, people say the funniest things while sleep-talking (or sometimes, the creepiest). So, when one Reddit user asked people on the platform to share the gems that they heard from their sleep-talking or sleep-walking partners or family members, the thread blew up instantly. So many stories! So much hilariousness! There were pleas to stop putting bread in someone's ears, songs about a "corner cat" and so many more things you'll have to read for yourself.
Scroll down below to read the full list and don't forget to vote for the entries you liked the most! In addition to this, we're encouraging you to share any funny/creepy/weird/etc. stories you have on sleep-talking or sleep-walking in the comment section!
More info: Reddit
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#1
So this one time while my s/o was sleeping, she randomly reaches over and starts to pet my leg softly. When I ask her what she’s doing she looks at me like I’m stupid and says “what does it look like? I’m petting this fluffy baby penguin.” Then pauses for a second, pats my leg again and blurts our “Wait this isn’t a penguin!” I have never laughed so hard over someone talking in their sleep
Suzi Gauthier 5 years ago
My ex once sat up straight in bed & pointed at the ceiling, yellowing, "Look! Look!" I sat up & said, "What is it?" He said, "There's an oil leak!"
Madcat 4 years ago
I’m the sleep talker here. One time when I was 8 years old, since it was one of my first times tucking myself in bed, apparently my mom went into my room when I was asleep and said “I’m so proud of you! You’re such a big girl!” and I replied “thanks mom! You’re a big woman!”
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#2
Heck yes. Please take a seat.
My wife was an avid sleep talked for a long time and her midnight announcements range from simple single words to elaborate speeches. The ones that really stand out to me are:
Waking up in the middle of the night to her suddenly sitting violently up in bed, throwing back the covers, and screeeeaaaaming: “TARANTULA!!”. That will make you very awake, very quickly.
Whispering my name repeatedly which woke me up so she could share in a hushed, cautious voice: “There is an alligator in here.” When I expressed my concern (playing along) she told me, still whispering, that: “It’s okay. It has been here before.”
But my all time favorite was when, from her perspective as she later explained, she was dreaming that I was playfully sneaking up on her and she saw me and was calling me on it. From my perspective, my wife sat up in the middle of the night, starting into the darkest corner of the room and said repeatedly in a soft sing-song voice: “I seeee youuuu.” My flipping blood froze.
Kim Lorton 5 years ago
I am laughing soo hard to the last one!! Too damned funny! Id be really worried !
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
Funny how the creepy “I seee youuu” should actually be part of a dream about something as innocuous as knowing your hubby’s playing sneak-ups.
Alivia Johnson 5 years ago
One time I screamed in my sleep... "There's a man... a man in the corner" scared the hell out of the camp counselor who incidentally was a guy
Cindi Hinch 5 years ago
Hubby last week, awoke saying “can’t your hear them?”. I asked who? He replied “under the bed”. Brrrrrggh.
Carmen Honacker 5 years ago
Haha! That reminds me of my ex. One night I was putting my arm on his leg and he pushes it away and says "HEY! Do you have permission for that? You need to ask the frame guy!" Another night, he had gotten up and destroyed my box of tampons! They were in the toilet sink, bathtub, in front of the bathtub and it appeared he had also used my toothbrush.
#3
my boyfriend once blurted out “you’re putting BREAD in my ears” in his sleep, mumbled something unintelligible and then followed up with “and i’m becoming a SANDWICH”. still makes me laugh whenever i remember
#4
My boyfriend woke me up the other day by gently putting his fingers in my mouth and I kept moving my head out of the way until eventually I was like “can you stop that!!!” He then sounded genuinely upset and asked why I woke him up as he was having a really nice dream about feeding a deer. Brilliant.
#5
Not a partner but in military training and school I often took the night shift for guard duty. The amount of sleepwalkers and talkers is way higher than I expected. It is straight creepy when you have to walk down the halls with a covered flashlight listening to big-ass grown men mumbling and lashing out in their sleep. What takes the cake though is often sleepwalkers will just kinda stop randomly. So you'll be walking along in the pitch-black darkness and suddenly there is just a [damn] dude standing there. Eyes generally closed, or worse... open, just kinda listing to the side or leaning against a bedpost or wall. After I'd suppress all the swear words I was about to yell out; nothing much to do but kinda prod them along back to their bed. For all the randomness that is being part of the military, I really didn't expect one of my jobs to be gently tucking my fellow soldiers back into their beds.
Esca Sav 5 years ago
I would turn on all the lights in the house. My mom had to lock all the doors to make sure I wouldn't fall down the stairs. One winter I walked outside and laid down in the snow. Luckily my mom was right behind me making sure I didn't stay there. Thank god my sleepwalking phase is over. Sleeptalking on the other hand... boy do I still got that... She said it was creepy the first few times, but then she found it funny considering she could hold conversations with me when I was sleepingwalking.
Diana Dodd 5 years ago
Stress is probably causing the lack of a regular sleep pattern. I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be in the military today.
#6
Sigh; my boyfriend either recites postcodes (delivery driver) or calls the dog in his sleep. So either he is mad no one is responding to his postcode nonsense or I get a flying 30kg dog to my body
#7
He farted very loudly and proceeded to say, “you got the wrong guy”
Jo B. Ventura Gurule 5 years ago
Absolutely my favorite! I love the sound of the word “FART “ as it’s so belligerent!!
#8
Napping with the boyfriend, a loud noise wakes me, but hes still out me: What was that?! him: Either a tree or a magic eraser
Levity Camilleri 5 years ago
Well, it's simple when you look at which is more reasonable and normal. Magic eraser 100%
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#9
My husband and I got married just 3 months ago and I found out he's a notorious sleep talker. Some nights he would roll over to me, kiss me full on the mouth, tell me he loves me, then plonk right back on his pillow and start snoring again(this actually happens regularly, much to my delight lol). Other nights he would blurt out things like how he would install a new server at the sherrif's office, or there's a snake on his palm and when I asked what it's doing he answered that it's coding something. I now enjoy staying up late and am a proud owner of several recordings of my husband's sleep talkings. Recently, I got him answering math questions and it tickled me silly how he got them all correct.
blugeagua 5 years ago
Plenty of couples keep up the "phase" for their whole lives and its awesome.
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Amy Gannon 5 years ago
That can be dangerous....People tend to answer questions truthfully when they’re asleep. Found that out the hard way.
Nea Ilie de la Sculărie 5 years ago
Once I was dreaming of a solution to our complicated programming problem. I got up and did it that way and it worked.
marie elle 5 years ago
My husband does a lot of talking and he is loving the cat like crazy, taking her to the bed every night as a cussion. Once he woke up, kicked her out and said, very sharp: we do not have a black cat(she isnt and she wasnt that night). He was so dearly sorry for weeks. I once snatched her out of his reach and he screamed :" a raccoon, get him out". Purr cat...
#10
This actually happened last night, my fiance started talking to me like we had never met before and after a minute I realized that she was dreaming about our first date. It was really wholesome and I was surprised at how much detail she remembers.
#11
I remember one night mum and I sat in the hallway giggling because my brother and dad were having a sleep conversation in different rooms. Dad : “DO YOU SELL STEEL HERE?” Brother : “CAN I HELP YOU DAD?” Dad : “I WANT TO BUY SOME STEEL” Brother : “WHAT?” Dad : “HOW MUCH IS THE STEEL”
Nicolas Pilot 5 years ago
Wow, a shared dream, this is awesome. Universal consciousness in action
#12
Lmaoo one time, my ex was asleep and start to snore progressively loud. He startled himself half awake, and he says out loud (to himself) "shut UP, I'm sleeping". Oh I snorted my drink through my nose
Bobby Sammons 5 years ago
Me the other night I'm sitting in my home office, wide awake mind you, that the wife is snoring away in our bedroom. I hear her tell me to roll over, "You're snoring". Yeah she heard herself.
#13
My wife started screaming one night that she was lost in the local grocery store. And that no matter where she went she couldn't find her way out. I asked her has she tried checking out at the cash registers? She then looked at me and said in her most sincere voice, "that's why you are the smartest person I know." And she rolled over and fell back asleep.
#14
My wife was mumbling a lot and suddenly shouted "DONKEY KICK!" as she kicked me in my shin, so that was fun.
Wonderful 5 years ago
A buddy of mine was asleep and his wife stood up on the bed, reared back and full on kicked him in the stomach. He woke up screaming and she bent down and whispered, “shhhhhhhhh, I got him, go back to sleep”. Then she laid back down. She was mortified when he finally woke her up. She bought him a apology cake and everything.
Marcellus the Third 5 years ago
Typical wording for martial arts lessons, so yeah more probable than "punch".
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#15
Ex-roommate talked in his sleep. Once, he cried out, "NO GANDALF!"
Bender Bending Rodríguez 5 years ago (edited)
Probably giving him failing grades.
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WILLIAM FAULK 5 years ago
So, if it's a school roomate, then he might be rehearsing for the next Lord of the Rings, (since it was a while ago)
#16
Fantastic sleep songs with lyrics which are utterly bizarre. My two absolute favourites have been "Oh whoa whoa, it's a corner cat" "Obey my rules, an' you'll always be, a country cowboy" - repeated about 5 times and finished with a "yeaaahhhh."
Dragonfruit'nrollerskates 5 years ago
I went on a trip to DC with three friends two years ago, and there weren't enough beds to we had to share. I woke up because my friend was kicking me really hard. I put a hand on her foot to try and wake her up and she mumbled 'gooooaal' and turned over. She's on the soccer team.
#17
I'm the sleeptalker here; got this from my wife the next morning. Me: sits bolt upright They're coming. Everything's ready. Wife: sleepily huh? Me: They're coming. Everything's ready. Wife: They're coming? Me: Mmm hmm. Wife: But everything's ready? Me: ... yes Wife: Sounds like we're ok then. Me: Comically flops back down and instantly goes back to sleep.
I'm A Lazy Panda 5 years ago
It was probably the quickest way to shut him up!
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#18
My grandfather was a hard sleep talker , my grandmother has a funny story. One day my grandfather while sleeping was saying" do i punch this asshole" my grandmother replayed yeah punch him then my grandfather in his sleep punched her.
#19
We were freshly married and living overseas. My husband hadn’t had much sleep the nights before, which usually enhances any sleep talking. It was hot in our room. My husband mumbled something which I didn’t quite catch. I asked him to repeat it. He got up, opened the bedroom window and said very pointedly “Air flow, B**ch!” then laid back down, completely asleep. Now, my husband has never, not once, ever called me a name or even raised his voice to me, so this is particularly hilarious. Also, this happened before Breaking Bad was a big thing, so maybe my husband is the original Jesse Pinkman? Except without all the meth and mayhem, of course.
#20
my mom tells a story about a time she fell asleep with her arm above her head. it lost circulation and dropped onto her chest but she had no feeling in it since it “fell asleep”. when it flopped on her chest she woke up and tried to throw her asleep arm, screaming that a dead hand had fallen on her.
kalastaja774 5 years ago
I have woken up several times thinking there was a huge snake in my bed, and it has turned out to be my hand i had been sleeping on.
Fabulous Otaku 5 years ago
omfg this happened to me once, except i bit my arm bc i thought i was being kidnapped
Suzi Gauthier 5 years ago
I woke up & stretched my arms out & was terrified when my hand touched another hand. One arm was asleep.
Blue of the yams (They/He) 5 years ago
That's what it wants you to think...
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Tiffiny 5 years ago
I once woke up thinking my arm was gone. It was totally asleep because I rolled over on the edge of the windowsill. After I had a mini freak out and woke up the rest of the way I realized what had happened. Picked up and dropped my arm a few times then had the worst pins and needles ever!
#21
I woke up one night when my husband started flailing around in the bed. It shocked me and I shouted “what’s wrong?” Then he punched me in the face. I yelled out and started crying, then he woke up and shouted “what’s wrong?” He dreamt he was being chased and then turned round and punched them. My mum who is in her 80s, often falls asleep in her chair while I’m visiting her. She sleep eats. Not real food but she goes through the motions of holding a plate and bringing food to her mouth. It’s hilarious watching her. I asked her once if it was nice and she said yes it’s very tasty.
Caroleann Mc Callion 5 years ago
Ooooo reminds me of an old housemate. I was going to the bathroom in the wee hours (naturally) and found her at the top of the stairs. Having established she was sleep walking I started to gently guide her back to her room. She started to go with me and then suddenly said, "But wait! I must try them all, tis the law of the land." (not how we generally speak in North Wales) she reached past me as if she was grabbing something and started to 'eat it'. Then she held whatever it was in front of her and frowned very seriously, so I asked, "Is it good?". She looked furtively from side to side , gave me the slyest look I've ever seen and then loudly stage whispered, "Don't tell the king, but it's rather dry." Asked her the next morning and she remembered having a dream about going on holiday to a wonderful country, but in order to get in you had to try a selection of cakes made by the Queen. Apparently only the King's opinion mattered. Thank for bringing that back, it's been 30 years.
Noddy 5 years ago
This is the secret to loose weight. Fake eat food in sleep. All your craving gets fulfilled
c Fuller 5 years ago
I had a roommate who lived upstairs with me. Her brother lived downstairs, and would stay up late in my kitchen playing Dungeons and Dragons with a guy who worked for me. I was baking cookies for Christmas and had purchased a huge tub of peanut butter. I had prepared the entire recipe and needed to add the peanut butter. I opened the tub and it was completely empty except a bit under the lid and around the edges. I scolded the guys for eating it, and they insisted Debbie had. I scolded them for making her a scapegoat. Well, Debbie was very short legged, and was continually dieting, so there was no way she would eat peanut butter, much less about 10 lbs of it. She had been on a popcorn diet for weeks, but seemed dismayed that she wasn't losing the weight. The next night, I was awakened by her brother, and stared in amazement as Debbie went to the pantry, picked up the peanut butter, took off the lid, and proceeded to dip in her fingers and lick them off time and again! Mystery solved
Gretchen Esquilin 5 years ago
My husband punched me once in his sleep. Right in my eye. He dreamt our newborn was falling off the bed, so he was trying to "catch" him. It was 1 of the rare times I just happened to be sleeping on my back. All I remember is seeing a bright flash of white light & instant pain. He woke up to my crying & wondered what happened. Had a slight black eye for a few days, but it was payback for my steamrolling over him a few months earlier while 6 mos pregnant. Oops! LOL
Naima Ivansdóttir 5 years ago
i sleep eat every time i fall asleep on a train. same dream every time, eating boiled rice from a saucepan. i wake up chewing the "rice" and sometimes i drool. it only happens on trains.
Chicago Dog Lover 5 years ago
My little sister used to fall asleep in her high chair and keep eating.
Caitlin M. Maguire 1 year ago
I laughed at your mom's answer, that's hilarious! Your husband reminds me of the quote from Alan Alda where he said he thought he was punching a sack of potatoes, but woke up punching his pillow or something like that.
#22
Years ago, my wife was mumbling in her sleep and seemed a bit upset. I wanted to comfort her, without waking her up too much, so I said, "Honey, you're fine. Do you know where you are?" She slugged me in the arm, and said "I'm in place where punch buggies are seen first." She then rolled over and muttered to herself, "chugga-chugga-chugga-buggy", and went back to sleep. She didn't remember a think the next morning.
Fire Breathing Queen 5 years ago
I laughed so hard what is a PUNCH BUGGY??!!?!? AHHHHHHHH LMAO
#23
I'm the sleep talker.
A long while back my fiancee was working a job where she didn't get home until after midnight.
She came home one night, and was leaning over the table on my said of the bed.
She swears up and down that I looked up at her, smacked her on the top of the head, and when she asked what the hell that I told her I was checking to see if she was a ghost.
Now, I do remember having a dream like this, but in my dream my hand did go through her head, proving she was a ghost.
Juno Suk 5 years ago
Maybe she really IS a ghost and what you think is real life is actually the dream.
Peter Spencer 5 years ago
When you go to sleep in a dream an wake up immediately afterwards in your own bed, it changes your perspective on the nature of reality.
#24
My aunt likes to tell the story about her and my cousin sharing a hotel room one time. My aunt woke up having to pee, and found my cousin sitting up in bed with her arms folded across her abdomen, kind of rocking back and forth and giggling quietly. When my aunt asked her what she was doing, my cousin said, “I’m holding a baby and it has an adult smile!” I found this story deeply unsettling.
Levity Camilleri 5 years ago
That's goddamn terrifying. But, uh, maybe it was like this? https://memeguy.com/photo/292044/man-face-baby-flight-safety-r
#25
He started shouting that he couldn’t feel his left arm. I pointed out he was pinching his pillow, not his arm. He then freaked out that he had lost his arm. I pointed out his arm was UNDER his pillow. He said ok and started snoring. It took me another hour to get back to sleep. He didn’t wake up at all.
#26
My mom sleepwalks sometimes. When she was in the middle of her residency, she came into my room in the middle of the night and sharply asked, "Did you give {patient} her dose of {medication} like I asked you to 15 minutes ago?" I groggily replied, "Who? Wha?" She just huffed and said, "Well I guess that answers my question." Before turning around and leaving. (without closing the door of course) She didn't remember a thing about it the next morning.
Cindy Hoffman 5 years ago
I had a dream that I was being chased up a ladder by a gorilla. So I kicked him. Turned out my hubby doesn’t like being kicked in his privates while sleeping 💤
#27
My girlfriend once yelled in her sleep "no No NO you SPUNKY LESBIAN" I'm a dude still tease her about it
#28
My girl woke up one night and said "Did you find your rocks?" and I asked her what she was talking about and she said "I don't know, I'm just trying to make conversation." and promptly went back to sleep. She has no recollection of this.
Suzi Gauthier 5 years ago
And all you people who have a hard time making conversation couldn't think of anything to say.
#29
He got up, went into the kitchen and ate one bite of a mini pecan pie - no fork, just a straight bite - then apparently remembered he hates pecan pie and left it stacked neatly on the little box. Another time he sat up and stared straight ahead at the wall, didn't respond to me asking what was wrong. He stood up, walked into the wall, then stood there like he was contemplating the barrier. He just backed up exactly as he came, sat down and swung back into bed like nothing happened. That was creepy.
Beeps 5 years ago
Can you imagine how much that pecan pie would creep you out in the morning, if you were the sleepwalker and lived on your own?
WildBerry 5 years ago
The poster said he didn't like pecan pie so if the guy lived alone he wouldn't have pecan pie in his house
Load More Replies... Caitlin M. Maguire 1 year ago
If I ate the pecan pie, I would immediately know and then realize I can't do that.
#30
Husband woke up in the morning and told me about a crazy dream he had: we were hosting a party and he was serving cookies. He was upset that nobody was eating them. When we went downstairs, we discovered a full plate of cookies sitting on our dining table.
Peter Spencer 5 years ago
I heard of a farmer who lost his tractor one day (happened a few years ago) and found it eventually about four miles away. Turned out he'd got up at some ungodly hour and driven down the road, then walked home. Asleep the whole time, apparently.
Emily Duffin 5 years ago
One time when I was really little I woke up in my parents room sleeping on a chair with a ton of blanket laying on me. I go put my blankets back and notice a pair of my underwear on the ground and ask my mom why it was there. She said in the middle of the night I woke her up and told her I needed to go to the bathroom, so she shut me in there and told me to wash my hands and honestly I don't remember this at all but somehow I went to the bathroom in my sleep.
#31
I have had funnier experiences than this one, but cannot remember exactly what was said... most recently, though: My boyfriend scoots over to me to big spoon/little spoon, and I snuggle in, thinking that’s all it was, then he gets real close to my ear and whispers, “Just so you know, there’s something in the closet. Like a... a cartoon turtle.” I did my best not to bust out laughing and just said, “Ok honey!” When he woke up, he had no memory of it whatsoever, of course!
#32
A friend who was next to my room in a high school dorm used to sleepwalk. He also used to sleep earlier than the rest of the floor. So one night, around midnight, we all were up and talking(in my room), except him(he'd gone to sleep). We were kinda worried that the dorm advisor would cut our chill session and tell us to go to sleep. Suddenly, we hear someone banging on the door of the room. I get up to go open it and as soon as I turn the handle, the door comes FLYING towards me. I was knocked back into a table and standing there was my sleepwalking friend. He says, "Where is the secret of the time?", and without waiting for an answer, walks back to his room, climbs into his bunk bed(top) and goes to sleep. Needless to say we were all surprised but being teenagers, we never let him forget it. It became a running joke in the school.
Dorothy Parker 5 years ago
Air to blow up voloeyballs. Air to blow up footballs.
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Marcellus the Third 5 years ago
First search the Bill Bailey prog-rock song, The Leg of Time. E.g. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc79m1X-mXU
Load More Replies... #33
My husband once sat bolt upright on bed an announced. "You're not working hard enough. I have to fire you" and went back to sleep.
#34
One night, my boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night, tapping me on my shoulder. He put his finger on his mouth, whispered "shush" to me, then pointed at the door and told me "I can hear something, don't move". Predictably, I nearly [crap] my pants. All the worst possible scenarios crossed my mind, and the moment of silence after he shushed me felt like hours. Then, he started waving his hands and talking about tetris, 'the twirlies' (idk), and making sure we don't align... And that's how I learnt my boyfriend talks in his sleep.
#35
My wife will tell me the next day when I do this. Her favourite story to tell is that she woke up in the middle of the night to find me slowly walking out of our bedroom. Wife: “Are you ok? What are you doing?” Me: “There’s somebody downstairs in the kitchen, unrolling the tinfoil” Wife: “Ooooo-Kay. What’s your plan?” Me: “I’m going to stop them” Wife: “Shall we get a bit more sleep then both go down together?” Me: “Ok”. And I went back to bed. Subsequent investigations found a small plastic bag on the floor, near my head, being rustled by the movement of the curtain, the window being open.
#36
My brother did that in the middle of the night. He would get up, go into the living room, say some nonsense [crap] to our parents and go back to bed. It was actually pretty creepy the first times, because he was like: “They ARE in the walls. THEY ARE!”
#37
Not a partner but...1 o'clock in the morning I got a phone call from my friend in the next street. My 6 year old daughter had just knocked on her door and then walked in mumbling about not being able to do her sums! I raced up there and walked home with her, put her back to bed and she didn't wake up or remember a thing the next day.By the next night our house was like Fort Knox!!!
Sue Maynes 5 years ago
My son sleep-walked. We would be watching TV and feel a presence behind us,. He would be at the door of the loungeroom, just standing there, blindly looking at nothing. We would turn him around and walk him back to bed, but it was freaky.
Jennifer Crompton 5 years ago (edited)
when my daughter was little she would sleepwalk and try to go out the back door. Luckily I was still up and caught her the first few times, but had to install baby gates and door chains out of her reach. I hated doing that because I was afraid that if there was ever a fire or something, then kids would be trapped inside. But if I hadn't, she would have cruised right out the door in the middle of the night several different times. I remember being awoken at least 4 times by her trying to get out the door in her sleep. Never did get her to tell me where she was trying to go. Lol
Susanne Richter 5 years ago
At recess in elementary school we played jump rope and took turns bringing the long rope. My family told me I got out of bed one night and walked downstairs to the spot I left my school bag, opened it, and looked in. I must have been satisfied that the rope was in it already cause I closed the school bag and went back up to bed without saying a word. Jump rope anxiety, a heavy burden for grade schooler.
#38
Roommate freshman year of college was a sleepwalker/sleeptalker. We were in the freshman dorms, small little room. I woke up one night and saw him sitting straight up on the side of the bed just staring at me (eyes fully open) just talking gibberish about golf. He was going on about Phil Mickelson or some [crap]. Have to be honest, it was creepy as all hell because he was staring directly into my eyes. Next morning, I told him about it and he just laughed and said, sorry, I tend to do that from time to time.
Paul Johnston 5 years ago
Travelling from Glasgow back to Fife on the corporate mini bus I fell asleep and must have been dreaming about something can’t remember what and shouted out really loud “bus”, I was ribbed for it I did try to explain I was shouting stop in Arabic in my dream while one of the guys said aye we’re on the bus - what’s the problem.
#39
My one claim to sleeptalking fame is that as I was waking up I was talking in my dream, so my partner heard me say, out of nowhere, “What about like... a really tall giraffe?” I remember saying it. I have no memory of what problem I was facing that I thought might be solved by a really tall giraffe.
John Laurens/Gay Turtle 5 years ago
I do that all the time. Always woke up after talking in my dream though, and I didn't know why. Until one night when I was camping with friends, I woke myself up talking in my sleep, and noticed that all my friends were staring at me with freaked out expressions. When I asked them what was going on, they told me I'd sat up, said, "Don't go outside. They'll know if you do." So yeah, that was... interesting
Onion rings like to make your breath smelly 5 years ago (edited)
washing windows from tall houses with a pelican and monkey? (Roald Dahl's book "the giraffe and the pelly and me")
#40
My wife was in her finals week, so she woke up in the middle of the night telling me she discovered a way to study while sleeping.. so I asked her how, and she closed her eyes and went back to sleep...
#41
My dad used to sleep pee when I was a kid. I learned to check the bathroom floor before I entered. My mom also once caught him in the basement. They have a hole cut into the cement floor next to the washing machine for the sump pump. He was peeing into the sump pump hole. She asked what he was doing and he said "Hole number 11."
Fabulous Otaku 5 years ago
ohhhh my brother used to pee everywhere. we never knew who it was bc he didn’t remember, but one night, i caught him peeing on one of my paintings. it was awful bc everyone was mad at him for ruining a ton of stuff and he was mad bc he didn’t believe he had done it
#42
When I was a child about 5 years old, I was sleeping in my parents bed for some reason (probably a storm). Mom was awake, dad and I were asleep. Suddenly my father and I have this cross-sleep conversation while my mom lays between us, quietly freaked out: "Dad, you better not take my toys!" I mutter angrily. "Ok, I won't" my father responds. "Don't even touch them." "Ok." Not particularly scintillating conversation, but notable for the fact that were both asleep and still responding to each other. It was like making Alexa and Siri talk to each other lol
CelSlade 5 years ago (edited)
My sister and her best friend fell pregnant within a month of each other. As they were 15 and this was old South Africa, her parents were horrible and kicked the friend out, so she came to live with us. I had to walk through their (shared) room to get to mine. Just about every night I would walk past a fast-asleep argument between the two pregnant fairies. They would be talking utter nonsense, but in serious, really angry arguing tones eg; sis: 'Cut, Anthony, CUT!!!' friend: 'I TOLD YOU IT WAS RED!' Had me giggling every night :P
#43
My girlfriend was sleep working one night. Her: "Can we get that done this week?" Me: "Huh?" Her: "Can we get that done this week?" Me: "Sorry?" Her: "Can we get that done this week please?" Me: "Ok" Her: "Thanks"
Santhe van der Meulen 5 years ago (edited)
Poor woman, she doesn't even have time off when she is sleeping!
#44
My mom used to wake me up for school because I’d sleep through my alarms. She has a bunch of stories about weird [crap] I’ve said to her right before waking. “He’s not here, check down the street!” “Just put it on the roof and it’ll blow away.”
Damon Gates 5 years ago
Maybe you needed a better alarm. I was sharing a motel room with a coworker and his alarm was connected to an old-school clapper-and-bell alarm. I think it woke the entire floor the next morning.
Fabulous Otaku 5 years ago
oof. i always sleep through alarms too. that’s why i put my alarm right next to my ear and changed the sound to a fire truck. it usually works now.
#45
My GF does a bit of sleep-talking. I mentioned a sheep character from Animal Crossing (Dom) and she sounded like she was about to cry saying "he doesn't have hands". (Which, to be fair, he doesn't)
#46
I'd be the king of Monaco! My wife said this one night out of nowhere. The funniest part was her tone of voice,proud and assertive, like she was really sure of her claim to the throne. Anyway, the joke's on her, Monaco is a principality.
#47
Not my partner, but my younger brother and I used to share a room and used bunkbeds. One night I heard him mumble "I don't create the weather, I just predict it."
Juno Suk 5 years ago
Then the other brother says, "You don't make it rain. I do." and then pees on him, as brothers like to do.
Ellen Moana Skarstad 5 years ago
There's something seriously wrong with you and your brother....! o.O
Load More Replies... #48
I've been told that, as a child, my father would regularly sleepwalk into his dad's bedroom and urinate in his work shoes.
#49
Not my partner, but my younger brother says the most ridiculous stuff. One time he said “get off my treasure” in a pirate voice. Another time he said “get your hands off my fish”
Rosemari Ferreira Gebbran 5 years ago
My child other night sat down at the bed and said "please, give me my cookies. Not half, I want the big one" and laid down again.
#50
Once my ex said "horse." That's all. Just horse. But with a sense of urgency. The same ex told me I once sat straight up in bed and mumbled, "Jesus, grandma, you scared the [crap] out of me." I had been dreaming that I was in bed at night and my grandma (still alive at the time) wandered into the room and stood at the end of the bed with a blank stare.
#51
I was watching tv once when my sister came out of her room, and shoved her pillow in a kitchen drawer. After that she crossed the living room, opened the front door and said “they’re almost here.” She closed the door, and went back to her room. It was my first experience with sleepwalking, and scared the complete [crap] out of me. As far as I am aware, that is the only incident she has ever had.
Jennifer Crompton 5 years ago
I want to know who has kitchen drawers big enough to fit a pillow!?! I'm super jealous
#52
Reminds me of my sleepwalking incident. When I was that age, my babysitter was out walking with her boyfriend at 10 pm and found me curled up, sleeping on the sidewalk a block away from our house. They picked me up and brought me home, and apparently I had turned on every light as I left. Fort Knox? After that incident, my dad had to climb through the kitchen window if he had to work late. All the doors had latches out of my reach.
Hanne DeBann 5 years ago
One night about two months ago (I have no recollection of this.) my brother said that I was talking in my sleep and I tossed and turned and kept saying that I had to take Chewy out. (We were taking care of our neighbors dog, Chewy.) Chewy was scratching at the door so maybe that's why. Also I remember when I was little that I used to wake up in the middle of the night and be facing the wrong side of the bed.
#53
I was in my brothers room watching tv with him and he ended up falling asleep. He mumbled something about Arizona and when I asked what he said he didn’t respond. Then a few minutes later he sits up, squints his eyes and just scans the room back and forth. I asked if he was okay and he laid back down and went back to sleep. I still don’t know what he was scanning the room for but it creeped me out.
#54
But my all time favorite was when, from her perspective as she later explained, she was dreaming that I was playfully sneaking up on her and she saw me and was calling me on it. From my perspective, my wife sat up in the middle of the night, starting into the darkest corner of the room and said repeatedly in a soft sing-song voice: “I seeee youuuu.” My flipping blood froze.
#55
My wife was an avid sleep talked for a long time and her midnight announcements range from simple single words to elaborate speeches. The ones that really stand out to me are: Whispering my name repeatedly which woke me up so she could share in a hushed, cautious voice: “There is an alligator in here.” When I expressed my concern (playing along) she told me, still whispering, that: “It’s okay. It has been here before.”
Laugh or not 5 years ago
Nope, that particular alligator likes to go around bedrooms.
Load More Replies...
Lynn Wiggins 5 years ago
I was asleep next to my husband on the king size futon. My St Bernard asleep on the floor at the end. Suddenly I slap the matress a couple times, inviting the sleeping dog. Still asleep eyes closed the dog gets up walks onto the bed and plops all 160lbs in between us. He braced all four paws on my husband and shoved him right off the bed. And I just rolled over threw my arm around the dog's neck and snuggled in. I didn't know what happened until I asked my husband why he was sleeping in the lazy boy? Smoose shoved me out of bed! But added we were too cute to wake up.
Emilie Couture 5 years ago
My dad sleep talks a lot. My mom told me that one time she woke up because she felt that one of their pillow had fell on the floor and as she reach for it my dad took her arm saying : “Don’t! It’s now in the river!” He’s a farmer, always falling asleep early in the evening on the sofa. One day, visibly annoyed in his sleep he said : “ah come on it’s broken again! Gimme that hammer!”
JustMe 5 years ago
I have never slept a lot at night, even as a young child. I would be up all night, just walking through the house, or staring out the window. One night, in the winter, my older brother got up and walked out the kitchen door. As I wasn't allowed to go out at night without an older brother or sister with me, I followed him. He walked a full circle around our house, stopped to pee on the wall near the kitchen steps, then back inside; he locked the door back and everything, and went back upstairs to bed. The next morning, I told mom about it, and even took her outside to show her where he had gone, by following our footsteps through the snow, and the clear yellow in the snow where he had peed. He didn't remember any of it... and I have never forgotten it.
What do you think ?
MermaidsAndDragons 5 years ago
One time, at GS camp, one girl sat up in the middle of the night and screamed "FROGS!" Being the children that we were, we never let her forget it.
averageperson 5 years ago
I shared a bedroom with my sisters growing up. We had two bunk beds, I slept on one top bunk and one of my sisters slept on the other top bunk. One night I woke up, hearing her climbing down the ladder. I watched her in confusion as she walked towards the door, but then she slammed right into it and woke up. I asked her what she was doing and she had no idea.
BusLady 5 years ago
My sis was sleep walking, and she woke me up as she was coming into my room. I just gently led her back to bed.
Load More Replies...
Marnie 5 years ago
The very first day I let my son get up without me, he came in to ask me if he could watch TV. According to him, I responded, "If you plug the whale's blowhole, then it should be safe, but be very careful. It's a delicate operation."
Fabulous Otaku 5 years ago
my brother and i share a room. a few weeks ago, he was in the bathroom, and i was asleep. apparently i got up, dragged my blanket and a bobby-pin to the bathroom door, picked the lock, threw my blanket at my brother, said “b**ch, you shouldn’t have brought the cat.”(we don’t have a cat) and went back to sleep. idk if he was joking or not, but i had a dream about a cat killing my pet turtle, and being mad at someone for bringing a cat. also, i woke up and there was a bobby pin in the bathroom lock, and my blanket was near the toilet.
Avery Jones 5 years ago
Hilarious! When I was a kid I used to sleepwalk down the stairs, have a full on conversation with my parents about being hungry, grab a cheese stick and go promptly back to bed
Esca Sav 5 years ago
Currently I started sleepingwalking again. I leave my alarm across the room so I can get up to shut it off. HOWEVER, turns out my brain doesn't like me waking up so I sleepwalk to shut it off and go back to bed. God forbid this happened during my university exams. My mom also talks to me in the morning on what she needs me to do throughout the day, but when she gets home she yells at me for not doing what she asks. Didn't take long for us to realized I was not conscious when she spoke to me. The sleeping me is a real b*tch.
Computernaut 5 years ago
These remind me of something my sister did one time. She has always talked in her sleep. When she was little she had "night terrors"; dreams where she would call out hysterically for our dad and cry and scream. I only woke up from a few of these, but they were quite annoying. Anyway, she also sleep walks on occasion, one time she came walking down the hall carrying a box, she placed it carefully on the floor. The next morning she came along and said "Ugh, who put this box here?!". My brother also used to sleep walk, or more like sleep run. I woke up at 1:00 am one time to find him tearing up and down the hall like a maniac. He would run from the top of the stairs, to his room and then back again, over and over again. I got out of bed and when he was in the process of turning around I asked him when he was doing. He stared at me vacantly and then ran past. My dad woke up and chased him all the way down stairs. I went back to bed and I have no idea when happened in the end.
Cecilia Cheung 5 years ago
My younger sister and I used to have bunk beds, and she's quite a dreamer. One night, out of nowhere, she suddenly shouted, "I didn't do it!!!". Scared the heck outta me. Another time, she was sleeping over at a friend's house, sleep walked to the door but didn't open it, fell asleep on the floor and rolled under the bed. No one could find her in the morning
Octavia Hansen 5 years ago
My husband was very generous in his sleep talking after we were married . . . he kept giving me things. After many weeks I told him thanks for the house, the car, the cat and the pool.
Kaden Walker 5 years ago
last semester, I was taking a nap and i was half awake. my roomate was like "Kaden, are you awake?" and i said. " OF COURSE I"M awake! I"M driving a car!" to which she said" Kaden, no, you' asleep." " I know i'm awake, cuz if i was asleep i woulnd't be able to avoid all these zebras on the highway!"
MermaidsAndDragons 5 years ago
One time, at GS camp, one girl sat up in the middle of the night and screamed "FROGS!" Being the children that we were, we never let her forget it.
averageperson 5 years ago
I shared a bedroom with my sisters growing up. We had two bunk beds, I slept on one top bunk and one of my sisters slept on the other top bunk. One night I woke up, hearing her climbing down the ladder. I watched her in confusion as she walked towards the door, but then she slammed right into it and woke up. I asked her what she was doing and she had no idea.
BusLady 5 years ago
My sis was sleep walking, and she woke me up as she was coming into my room. I just gently led her back to bed.
Load More Replies... Marnie 5 years ago
The very first day I let my son get up without me, he came in to ask me if he could watch TV. According to him, I responded, "If you plug the whale's blowhole, then it should be safe, but be very careful. It's a delicate operation."
Fabulous Otaku 5 years ago
my brother and i share a room. a few weeks ago, he was in the bathroom, and i was asleep. apparently i got up, dragged my blanket and a bobby-pin to the bathroom door, picked the lock, threw my blanket at my brother, said “b**ch, you shouldn’t have brought the cat.”(we don’t have a cat) and went back to sleep. idk if he was joking or not, but i had a dream about a cat killing my pet turtle, and being mad at someone for bringing a cat. also, i woke up and there was a bobby pin in the bathroom lock, and my blanket was near the toilet.
Avery Jones 5 years ago
Hilarious! When I was a kid I used to sleepwalk down the stairs, have a full on conversation with my parents about being hungry, grab a cheese stick and go promptly back to bed
Esca Sav 5 years ago
Currently I started sleepingwalking again. I leave my alarm across the room so I can get up to shut it off. HOWEVER, turns out my brain doesn't like me waking up so I sleepwalk to shut it off and go back to bed. God forbid this happened during my university exams. My mom also talks to me in the morning on what she needs me to do throughout the day, but when she gets home she yells at me for not doing what she asks. Didn't take long for us to realized I was not conscious when she spoke to me. The sleeping me is a real b*tch.
Computernaut 5 years ago
These remind me of something my sister did one time. She has always talked in her sleep. When she was little she had "night terrors"; dreams where she would call out hysterically for our dad and cry and scream. I only woke up from a few of these, but they were quite annoying. Anyway, she also sleep walks on occasion, one time she came walking down the hall carrying a box, she placed it carefully on the floor. The next morning she came along and said "Ugh, who put this box here?!". My brother also used to sleep walk, or more like sleep run. I woke up at 1:00 am one time to find him tearing up and down the hall like a maniac. He would run from the top of the stairs, to his room and then back again, over and over again. I got out of bed and when he was in the process of turning around I asked him when he was doing. He stared at me vacantly and then ran past. My dad woke up and chased him all the way down stairs. I went back to bed and I have no idea when happened in the end.
Cecilia Cheung 5 years ago
My younger sister and I used to have bunk beds, and she's quite a dreamer. One night, out of nowhere, she suddenly shouted, "I didn't do it!!!". Scared the heck outta me. Another time, she was sleeping over at a friend's house, sleep walked to the door but didn't open it, fell asleep on the floor and rolled under the bed. No one could find her in the morning
Octavia Hansen 5 years ago
My husband was very generous in his sleep talking after we were married . . . he kept giving me things. After many weeks I told him thanks for the house, the car, the cat and the pool.
Kaden Walker 5 years ago
last semester, I was taking a nap and i was half awake. my roomate was like "Kaden, are you awake?" and i said. " OF COURSE I"M awake! I"M driving a car!" to which she said" Kaden, no, you' asleep." " I know i'm awake, cuz if i was asleep i woulnd't be able to avoid all these zebras on the highway!"
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