Bride Dislikes Sister’s ‘Exhibitionism’ While Breastfeeding, Seats Her Aside At The Ceremony
Relationships between siblings can run the gamut from maximum love and support to pure hatred. The ancient Castor and Pollux on one hand, the biblical Cain and Abel on the other… Well, the sisters from our story today are obviously now going through a period of disapproval of each other.
For example, when the author, the user u/Throwraweddingseats, recently got married, she made sure that the moments with her breastfeeding elder sister were not caught on camera – and this clearly upset the new mom. However, let’s talk about everything just in order.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post got married a week ago and she wasn’t happy with her elder sister being present at the ceremony
Image credits: Wendy Wei (not the actual photo)
The problem is that the woman has a 5-month-old baby and prefers to breastfeed openly, even in public
Image credits: u/Throwraweddingseats
So she did at the author’s wedding too – but the bride took measures deliberately
Image credits: Asad Photo Maldives (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Throwraweddingseats
She seated the sister far away from the camera and asked the photographer to not shoot the sister if he saw her nursing
Image credits: KAL VISUALS (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Throwraweddingseats
So it happened – and the sister was very upset at not being present in literally any of the wedding photos
So, the Original Poster (OP) tells us that she got married a week ago, and all the relatives, of course, were present at the ceremony. But the bride wasn’t happy to see all of them. For example, her elder sister, who showed up with a 5-month-old baby. And it was precisely around this kid that the problem arose.
The thing is that the OP’s sister always prefers to breastfeed (her eldest daughter is 2 years old and she did this the same way too), not at all embarrassed by those around her, and without covering up the baby’s head or anything. In turn, the author considered this behavior to be a kind of manifestation of ‘exhibitionism’ – and did not at all want to have these breastfeeding moments on camera.
First, the bride made sure that from the place where the videographer’s camera would be installed, the seat where she had placed her sister wouldn’t be visible. And then she deliberately asked the cameraman not to film her sister if possible if he saw her breastfeeding the baby openly.
After the wedding, the bridesmaids said that the sister was unhappy that she and the baby weren’t on camera at all. It turned out that during the group shooting, the photographer, seeing her nursing the baby, several times asked the mom to leave the frame (here the OP ironically says that she’s even ready to pay them extra for doing so).
However, the bride is now wondering whether her behavior was a manifestation of hypocrisy and prudence. In any case, the original poster took it online to seek people’s advice and probably support.
Image credits: Frans Daniels (not the actual photo)
Well, a certain element of prudence seems to still be present here. At the very least, researchers are almost sure that the issue largely lies in the excessive sexualization of female breasts in contemporary society.
“It is important to note that the sexual function of breasts is culturally determined rather than inherent, the perception of breasts as sex organs impacts upon how women who use their breasts for their milk producing function are perceived and treated,” says this study by Athena Sheehan, Karleen Gribble & Virginia Schmied, published at the International Breastfeeding Journal in 2019.
“It has been identified that women who breastfeed in public may be accused of sexual exhibitionism or sexual immorality. However, such censorship is not about breasts being seen, as breasts are ubiquitous in Western advertising, fashion and media,” the researchers note.
“Infants typically feed anywhere from eight to 10 times in a day,” USA Today also quotes Dr. Lori Feldman-Winter, who chairs the breastfeeding wing of the American Academy of Pediatrics. “It’s normal that babies feed regularly throughout the day and may literally feed as often as every hour.” So the original poster’s sister really cared about her child first, and only then about the opinions of others.
At the same time, the viewpoints of commenters on the original post were very divided. Some people actually agreed with the author that they wouldn’t like to see these breastfeeding scenes in her wedding photos. “Nothing against public breastfeeding, but I wouldn’t want to see that in my formal wedding photos or video – especially if she’s doing it for the attention,” one of the commenters wrote.
On the other hand, some folks in the comments reasonably noted that it’s not necessary to include images with a breastfeeding sister in a wedding album, and the video can also be edited easily. “To my knowledge wedding videos are often edited with music etc, so there was no need to make her aware of anything really,” another person reasonably added in the comments.
Well, on the one hand, it’s not very pleasant to have a person in your wedding photos who’s trying to deliberately draw attention to themselves. On the other hand, it’s even more unpleasant when they tell you how, when and where you should breastfeed your baby. In this dilemma, the bride made her choice, and whether she was right or wrong – it’s up to you, our readers, as well.
Experts believe the problem is breasts’ sexualization in modern society, and the commenters’ opinions were mostly divided
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I personally think she handled the situation fine. She didn't try to shame her sister because she breastfeeds in public or anything and simply placed her somewhere it wouldn't get noticed. Regarding breastfeeding in public there is a bit of a difference in opinion as far as I've seen in posts generally, and how it should be handled, but I think that's besides the point here. In the end, humans are mammals and a fussy hungry baby is way worse than a booby, in my opinion.
I think we all have an agreement generally that a mom breastfeeds when the baby needs it and we avert our eyes politely. Its not really a scenic moment that needs to be captured on tape.
Load More Replies...
If I’m interpreting this situation correctly, it seems that sis is doing this to draw attention to herself. Should she hide herself or the baby, no. Should she join in pictures and video with her ta-tas out? Probably not. As the moms in the comments stated, it’s possible to be discreet without a cover. But it seems like sis likes to push boundaries and buttons, and this is just another thing to make her the center of attention.
Remember that we're only getting one perspective on this.
Load More Replies...
People who have zero regard for others have a tendency to make a meal out of public breastfeeding (pun intended). I have a boatload of relatives, all that I know of were breastfed, you can do it without a cover and still keep it discreet. My sister on the other hand, made it a whole process with her boob hanging out the entire time. Sitting in a restaurant, take boob out, then take out bolster, then grab baby, then take like 4 minutes getting situated, and on and on and on. Its just rude. I would absolutely not want that in my wedding photos. Again, plenty of aunts managed this with minimal fuss and exposure. Not my sister. When her kid was older (toddler ish) she'd just let him run around the restaurant, not caring that he was disturbing everyone else. She has no regard for others, in any of her behavior, and I've noticed that with plenty of other people who just don't seem to care who or what is around them. Everything is about them, all the time. Having babies makes it worse.
So what if you can see her boob, it is just a breast ffs! There is nothing harmful or disturbing or wrong with breasts, they are just a feature of women's bodies. If you go to pretty much any beach here during the summer you will see lots of them and nobody cares!
Load More Replies...
All the people who are saying "I shouldn;t have to go off to a secret corner every two hours..." or "... putting a blankets over a baby's head while they eat is uncomfortable..." No one said you have to skulk off somewhere secret, and no one is suggesting you drape an actual blanket over you and baby. A long rectangular shawl, in a light thin cotton - tada. You never have to leave your seat. The photos will just show you with a lump front under a nice delicate shawl. Does no one know how to actually compromise these days?!?
Will never understand peoples judgemental attitude against nudity or breastfeeding. If you don't cover up and show how uncomfortable you are when breastfeeding then you must be an exihibonist that wants to show off??? "They do it only for attention!" How would you know, are you a mindreader all the sudden? How about minding your own f*****k i n g buissness for once?
NTA for how she handled it. Giving direction to avoid capturing someone who is actively exposed on film sounds curteous. However her attitude around it is... not great.
its natural and if youre the one embarrassed by it..well then.. clearly youre the one with the problem here!
I'm glad this isn't my family. One sister is trying to make a statement about breastfeeding on a location where it doesn't make sense and isn't appreciated. The other sister seems to enjoy the fact that her brother in law left her sister and his two small children.
She didn't say "Don't breastfeed" She didn't send her out of the room, she just ensured she wasn't prominently featured doing so in the wedding photos. Some people discretely slip clothing out of the way and feed the baby without making an issue of it. Some people flop both their tits out before they position the baby, and make a political statement of being a breastfeeding mother, because they want to be the centre of attention. Attention is supposed to be on the bride and groom.
You don’t like your sister and you are using this as a stick to beat her with.
Don't babies usually fall asleep while nursing? Wouldn't a light blanket help remove distractions and let baby fall asleep faster? I imagine there are a lot of distractions at a wedding - all those people moving around, food smells, music, dancing, people talking. I'd think baby would prefer a personal tent for their nap.
What man created. Because we know so much more. There is no way to say I know it not an act meant to get guys to say oh, baby. Then say but you should cover up. With out sounding like you are implying exactly what you said you don't me. Example it's not sèxùàl I know. Stop allowing men to dictate what your body and body parts are for. I understood this when my mom nursed. I had hoped we would have gotten past this in 2024. It is exceptionally sad humans IQs and understanding hasn't changed in 30 years. Don't beat the women up. Encourage. Way cheaper too. Congratulations on your wedding Sorry a bit of a sore pint for me. Rant over.
Nothing wrong even with actually being "prudish". I would definitely go somewhere private if my child was hungry. Feeding is not exactly pretty to look at and it's doesn't have to be. It's feeding. Intimate also for a baby - a bonding moment, very private. I don't like eating in chaos and nervous atmosphere and wouldn't want it for my baby either. I also wouldn't want people to look at my saggy milkers. Sorry no. I'm with OP here.
The only reason I left to breastfeed privately and quietly is because my baby had SERIOUS FOMO and would practically screw their head 'round owl-wise trying to see what's happening... While still firmly latched. Hurt. It hurt so much. So much. OR they'd let go at full suction and my let-down was so aggressive that milk could literally hit the ceiling or wall opposite, so I'm in massive pain, juggling baby, juggling the human equivalent of a shaken coke bottle poked full of holes... Private nursing worked best for us. I do not care if a breastfeeding parent is full-boobin' it in public to feed their child, that is food, not sex. But I can also understand not wanting breastfeeding shots in your wedding photos. Honestly I think that probably legally protected the photographer as well. OP is in fact a whole entire prude scared of boobies, but she gets to choose who's in her wedding photos.
Okay here's hoping I can keep this within the of space BP allows. I nursed all 5 of mine. I can tell you with a super prude of a mother I have heard all of this + more. Putting a blanket makes the baby hot. They get tired and end up frustrated. Also burns more energy. Then they have to eat more. Sitting in the corner where you're alone with nothing to do is maddening. Most people can tell. Your wedding no nursing fine romantic day for you and now husband. Grate. No pictures or videos cool. Husband/boyfriend saying she is trying to give a show. Sorry it is not trying to so everyone her body during feeding the baby. In no way are you trying to get SÈXÙAL attention. The fact you don't know that leaves me feeling Sorry for America, and people who comes across you. Believing this is anything other than feeding your baby the BEST food possible. Designed by nature with everything they need and all the germs and viruses you've had is transferred to them. Please let's keep feeding babies
Oh look another cretin that cannot separate breastfeeding from exhibitionism and pornography.
Load More Replies...
NTA... your sister is an old child with children. Meaning she needs to mentally grow up & stop acting like she's a high schooler that can do whatever. I agree on the public breastfeeding situation, it should be done in private. Same applies to pissing & s******g. We live in a more civilized world now & no longer unga bungaing in caves.
How the hell can you possibly equate breastfeeding to pissing and s******g? You really are not normal.
Load More Replies... I personally think she handled the situation fine. She didn't try to shame her sister because she breastfeeds in public or anything and simply placed her somewhere it wouldn't get noticed. Regarding breastfeeding in public there is a bit of a difference in opinion as far as I've seen in posts generally, and how it should be handled, but I think that's besides the point here. In the end, humans are mammals and a fussy hungry baby is way worse than a booby, in my opinion.
I think we all have an agreement generally that a mom breastfeeds when the baby needs it and we avert our eyes politely. Its not really a scenic moment that needs to be captured on tape.
Load More Replies... If I’m interpreting this situation correctly, it seems that sis is doing this to draw attention to herself. Should she hide herself or the baby, no. Should she join in pictures and video with her ta-tas out? Probably not. As the moms in the comments stated, it’s possible to be discreet without a cover. But it seems like sis likes to push boundaries and buttons, and this is just another thing to make her the center of attention.
Remember that we're only getting one perspective on this.
Load More Replies... People who have zero regard for others have a tendency to make a meal out of public breastfeeding (pun intended). I have a boatload of relatives, all that I know of were breastfed, you can do it without a cover and still keep it discreet. My sister on the other hand, made it a whole process with her boob hanging out the entire time. Sitting in a restaurant, take boob out, then take out bolster, then grab baby, then take like 4 minutes getting situated, and on and on and on. Its just rude. I would absolutely not want that in my wedding photos. Again, plenty of aunts managed this with minimal fuss and exposure. Not my sister. When her kid was older (toddler ish) she'd just let him run around the restaurant, not caring that he was disturbing everyone else. She has no regard for others, in any of her behavior, and I've noticed that with plenty of other people who just don't seem to care who or what is around them. Everything is about them, all the time. Having babies makes it worse.
So what if you can see her boob, it is just a breast ffs! There is nothing harmful or disturbing or wrong with breasts, they are just a feature of women's bodies. If you go to pretty much any beach here during the summer you will see lots of them and nobody cares!
Load More Replies... All the people who are saying "I shouldn;t have to go off to a secret corner every two hours..." or "... putting a blankets over a baby's head while they eat is uncomfortable..." No one said you have to skulk off somewhere secret, and no one is suggesting you drape an actual blanket over you and baby. A long rectangular shawl, in a light thin cotton - tada. You never have to leave your seat. The photos will just show you with a lump front under a nice delicate shawl. Does no one know how to actually compromise these days?!?
Will never understand peoples judgemental attitude against nudity or breastfeeding. If you don't cover up and show how uncomfortable you are when breastfeeding then you must be an exihibonist that wants to show off??? "They do it only for attention!" How would you know, are you a mindreader all the sudden? How about minding your own f*****k i n g buissness for once?
NTA for how she handled it. Giving direction to avoid capturing someone who is actively exposed on film sounds curteous. However her attitude around it is... not great.
its natural and if youre the one embarrassed by it..well then.. clearly youre the one with the problem here!
I'm glad this isn't my family. One sister is trying to make a statement about breastfeeding on a location where it doesn't make sense and isn't appreciated. The other sister seems to enjoy the fact that her brother in law left her sister and his two small children.
She didn't say "Don't breastfeed" She didn't send her out of the room, she just ensured she wasn't prominently featured doing so in the wedding photos. Some people discretely slip clothing out of the way and feed the baby without making an issue of it. Some people flop both their tits out before they position the baby, and make a political statement of being a breastfeeding mother, because they want to be the centre of attention. Attention is supposed to be on the bride and groom.
You don’t like your sister and you are using this as a stick to beat her with.
Don't babies usually fall asleep while nursing? Wouldn't a light blanket help remove distractions and let baby fall asleep faster? I imagine there are a lot of distractions at a wedding - all those people moving around, food smells, music, dancing, people talking. I'd think baby would prefer a personal tent for their nap.
What man created. Because we know so much more. There is no way to say I know it not an act meant to get guys to say oh, baby. Then say but you should cover up. With out sounding like you are implying exactly what you said you don't me. Example it's not sèxùàl I know. Stop allowing men to dictate what your body and body parts are for. I understood this when my mom nursed. I had hoped we would have gotten past this in 2024. It is exceptionally sad humans IQs and understanding hasn't changed in 30 years. Don't beat the women up. Encourage. Way cheaper too. Congratulations on your wedding Sorry a bit of a sore pint for me. Rant over.
Nothing wrong even with actually being "prudish". I would definitely go somewhere private if my child was hungry. Feeding is not exactly pretty to look at and it's doesn't have to be. It's feeding. Intimate also for a baby - a bonding moment, very private. I don't like eating in chaos and nervous atmosphere and wouldn't want it for my baby either. I also wouldn't want people to look at my saggy milkers. Sorry no. I'm with OP here.
The only reason I left to breastfeed privately and quietly is because my baby had SERIOUS FOMO and would practically screw their head 'round owl-wise trying to see what's happening... While still firmly latched. Hurt. It hurt so much. So much. OR they'd let go at full suction and my let-down was so aggressive that milk could literally hit the ceiling or wall opposite, so I'm in massive pain, juggling baby, juggling the human equivalent of a shaken coke bottle poked full of holes... Private nursing worked best for us. I do not care if a breastfeeding parent is full-boobin' it in public to feed their child, that is food, not sex. But I can also understand not wanting breastfeeding shots in your wedding photos. Honestly I think that probably legally protected the photographer as well. OP is in fact a whole entire prude scared of boobies, but she gets to choose who's in her wedding photos.
Okay here's hoping I can keep this within the of space BP allows. I nursed all 5 of mine. I can tell you with a super prude of a mother I have heard all of this + more. Putting a blanket makes the baby hot. They get tired and end up frustrated. Also burns more energy. Then they have to eat more. Sitting in the corner where you're alone with nothing to do is maddening. Most people can tell. Your wedding no nursing fine romantic day for you and now husband. Grate. No pictures or videos cool. Husband/boyfriend saying she is trying to give a show. Sorry it is not trying to so everyone her body during feeding the baby. In no way are you trying to get SÈXÙAL attention. The fact you don't know that leaves me feeling Sorry for America, and people who comes across you. Believing this is anything other than feeding your baby the BEST food possible. Designed by nature with everything they need and all the germs and viruses you've had is transferred to them. Please let's keep feeding babies
Oh look another cretin that cannot separate breastfeeding from exhibitionism and pornography.
Load More Replies... NTA... your sister is an old child with children. Meaning she needs to mentally grow up & stop acting like she's a high schooler that can do whatever. I agree on the public breastfeeding situation, it should be done in private. Same applies to pissing & s******g. We live in a more civilized world now & no longer unga bungaing in caves.
How the hell can you possibly equate breastfeeding to pissing and s******g? You really are not normal.
Load More Replies...
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