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Our brains have this wonderful way of making everything seem so much easier when we aren’t staring it right in the face. After all, it’s pretty easy to think about just how productive you’ll be tomorrow while laying in bed. But as time has shown, a lot of life is more complicated than it looks.
Someone asked “What do most people think that is simple to deal with but is actually not?” and people from across the internet shared their best examples. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own ideas in the comments section below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Leaving abusive people. Its not just getting out a door. Its far more than that.
whodunnitfan2013 1 year ago
Abusers purposefully prevent their victims from leaving. They monitor them and their electronic activities, don't let them leave the house, steal their money, and even convince them they're not even being abused, etc.
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#2
People who manage their weight easily have no conception how difficult it is for those who can't.
#3
The death of a pet. They're not like toys, they're family and their loss is felt accordingly.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Pets do not criticize or judge you. They are often much better than humans to be with.
#4
Managing mental health, a lot of people think it's just about being positive, but it's way more complex and requires real effort and support.
#5
Poverty.
There is this mentality "well, if you just pulled yourself up by your bootstraps" or "look! XYZ person is no longer poor, you can do it!"
What they fail to recognize is that poverty can be an inherited condition causing subsequent generations to not be able to escape it. Caused by, amongst other factors, self-reinforcing mechanisms that once it exists, persists unless there is outside intervention.
And yes, those people who have "pulled themselves up by their bootstraps" nine times out of ten had some form of assistance, regardless of what narrative is spun.
#6
Dealing with an aging parent especially when dementia or cognitive decline is involved. It doesn’t happen all at once so that all of a sudden everyone just agrees “yep they are legally incompetent.” It’s more like years of worry on behalf of the kids, hurt feelings and denial on behalf of the parent, trying to strategize how to get help from doctors and lawyers when the parent is resistant to help, trying to figure out what is the “last straw,” who can help the parent in what ways, ugh. It’s tough with no clear game plan on what to do.
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
You cannot truly appreciate this until you have to go through it :( I also used to think that it would be so "obvious" that it's happening, and everyone (including the parents) would understand they need help. It's so far from that... it's gradual and they do not completely realise what's going on - it's very difficult to convince them they need help, especially coz you don't want to risk hurting their feelings, or making things worse. We seem to be getting there though, so fingers crossed
#7
Anxiety. People who don't suffer from it think you're overreacting about most things and controlling your thoughts and responses is a walk in the park. Don't you think if I could mute the panic button, I would? I mean...
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
Another of those things you will never understand until you go through it yourself. All the "you just need to be positive" and "just stop thinking those thoughts" and "oh but you just need to stay calm" advice coming from everyone makes it worse
#8
Toxic parents. People think it's easy to just cut off bad parents and never speak to them again, but it's so difficult.
They're bad to you, but then you think about the times they weren't so bad. And they're still not so bad sometimes, so you think maybe you can have the relationship with them you want. But then they're awful to you again, and you wonder why you bother. But then...
My therapist, my tattoo artist, and I are all working on it together. Lol!
#9
Pain. So many people think or even say “Just power through it” because they can power through a mild headache or something. Yeah, I’ll just POWER THROUGH my TRIGEMINAL NEURALGIA, one of the top two most painful conditions in the world, also called a “s***ide” condition because it can cause people to shuffle off this mortal coil from pain. (I’m ok now, folks! I found a med that helps but for DECADES I just… dealt with it, curled up in a crying ball on my couch.).
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
Everyone's pain threshold is different. Something that feels mild to one person might feel excruciating to someone else. "Power through it" is some of the worst advice you can give anyone in any form of suffering, both physical or mental. Seek help now.
#10
Low level depression. Just because someone isn't crying all the time and appears to be functional such as getting dressed, eating and working, doesn't mean it's easy and one is close to "snapping out of it".
It can take a huge amount of effort and internal monologue to simply get oneself out of bed every morning to "do it again".
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago (edited)
No one, who hasn't been through it, will ever understand this. Also, people who cry aren't necessarily depressed and vice versa. With depression you can lose all your sense of emotions. You don't feel happy or sad, you're just existing - and, in many cases, just hoping for this existence to end. You don't even have the will or motivation to do something about that, until it gets much worse. Everything, from getting out of bed, work, even basic things like eating and showering require MASSIVE effort, and "snapping out of it" isn't ever an option
#11
Teaching. Every Tom, D**k, and Harry thinks that because they were once students they know how it should be done.
For non-educators, think about the last time you had to give a presentation. Think about how much time and preparation it took. Think about how nervous you were.
Now imagine you have to do 6 of those. Every day.
Now, add to that a requirement that you have to get every audience member to participate in very specific and structured ways and develop skills while retaining new knowledge.
And a solid half of them don’t want to do that or even be there.
And you have to plan all of that, every day, with 1/5 of the time required to plan for it.
And you have to evaluate each audience member’s growth. And you have anywhere from 20 to 200 audience members.
And an external authority is going to give your audience members a test to see how well you did.
And you might get shot.
And Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson think you’re trying to turn kids into gay, America-hating communists who hate white people.
#12
Keeping plants alive: Water, sunlight, sounds easy, but somehow I ended up with a graveyard of botanic victims.
#13
Honestly just working 40 hours a week and trying to be fully present for your family. I'm married, and I have no idea how single parents are doing hanging in there. Big props to single parents!
#15
Man, quitting smoking was a real eye-opener for me. I always thought it'd be a piece of cake, you know? Just toss the cigs and boom, done. Ha! What a joke. When I tried to quit last year, it hit me like a truck. The cravings were insane, but the worst part? My head was all over the place. I'd snap at my buddies for no reason, couldn't focus on jack at work. Everyone's like, "Dude, just stop buying them." If only it was that simple! Took me ages, a ton of patches, and some group therapy sessions to finally kick it. Now I get why people struggle so much with this stuff.
#16
Looking after your Grandchild for a full day. You love them death, but you're a good 25-30 years removed from watching after another human being and it can wipe you out. Seems easy - just watch a movie or two and take a nap. Nope. It can be like hanging out with a speed freak with no off button.
#17
Hearing loss. Hearing aids help . You will always deal with auditory processing issues especially in a situation where multiple people are talking. I wish personal subtitles or conversation bubbles were a real thing.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago
I wish everyone was taught sign language in school: the deaf community would not be so marginalised and most people would benefit as they get older. Also tonnes of noisy situations where sign language would be really useful.
#18
People think to stop crime you just put more police officers out on the street, when the true method of stopping crime is making sure the public's material conditions are met. That means higher wages for the working class so they can afford goods and services. Child care availability for their children and community centers where young kids and teens can participate in positive activities. All these social safety programs hinder profits, so cities and states would rather just put more cops out there to harass innocent people for minor offenses.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
The costliest and most damaging crimes don't happen on the streets - they happen in corporate offices. And often completely legally.
#19
Periods. Everyone is different, but for some, periods are debilitating. Awful pain, messes with your stomach, creates soreness, slowness, fatigue for days. And more than just being irritable, some of us have full-on temper issues and then gloomy melancholia for the week/s leading up to it. But then some men want to make the joke that "she's probably on her period." Yeah. My body is shedding itself. It sucks.
#20
Having a chronic illness. Like obviously yoga and meditation will fix me! /s.
#21
Getting a good night's sleep seems straightforward, but balancing stress, screen time, and a busy schedule makes it much more complex than people realize.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago
In the UK the legal minimum time between shifts for HGV drivers is 9 hours, and for bus drivers it's 8 1/2 hours - that time includes commuting home, fixing super, relaxing, sleeping, getting up & washed, fixing breakfast & commuting back to work. Yet when accidents happen because a professional driver is tired it's never the fault of the scheduler or the exploitative boss or the lawmakers who allow this nonsense.
#22
Breastfeeding. It’s supposed to be natural right? Like, every woman who gives birth can obviously breast feed. Not so much….
Guy Bare 1 year ago
When I got pregnant I was absolutely convinced that I would never ever breastfeed my baby. I thought of it as "disgusting". Ended up breastfeeding 2 years and 16 months my babies. And I understood why I didn't have any exemples around me of women feeding their babies : people make you feel gross, they mock you and make everything so you feel Guilty for it (like "Because of you he will be fat/gay/unhealthy !"). Wow. I had to fight against the difficulty of giving birth, then to fight for the pain of breastfeeding, then for the baby to feed correctly AND to fight my own relatives and their unwelcomed commente. I should have got a medal for continuing it so long and also for just trying it at first. And I also give hugs and support to every mums on earth, breastfeeding or not.
#23
Menopause! 😓😫🥱😤😡🤬.
#25
People often think sticking to a diet is simple, but it's actually really tough.
#27
Communicating effectively appears easy, but truly understanding others, expressing oneself clearly, and avoiding misunderstandings requires a lot of practice and patience.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Learning the blocks to listening is very useful. My main block is that I am thinking of my response to the first thing someone says and missing the second half of their statement.
#28
Managing mental health. It seems so simple, til suddenly you get anxious or depressed or stressed out. Or you don't even realize how bad it's gotten until you hear yourself saying something that you ordinarily don't say.
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
More awareness about mental health issues is needed, i think. People have no idea what it's like before they have to go through it and, once they do, most do not know when or how to find help.
#29
Sticking to a budget. A simple concept in theory, and yes, poor planning and poor money management definitely exists for a lot of people. But “live within your means” used to mean “do without multiple vacations a year and cut down on frivolous spending.” Now, there’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the problem. People nowadays are not going broke trying to buy brand new nice shiny cars, or winter in the Bahamas; they’re just trying to scrape by in an economy where wages have not caught up to the cost of living. And in the US, a chronic medical condition or one unexpected hospital stay can ruin you financially for years. So, budgeting and financial planning, both relatively simple concepts on paper, become much more complex in practice when your very basic necessities exceed your income, and you keep hearing “well, just spend less.”.
Derek Miranda 1 year ago
We aren't budgeting and saving for a vacation. It is for the upcoming cost of an unpredictable hospital visit or car repair.
#30
Managing personal finances often seems simple but can be surprisingly complex.
#31
Moving to a new place. It sounds exciting, but the logistics, loneliness, and adjustment period can be very challenging.
Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago
On my first move, a buddy moved my stuff in one trip in his car. On my seventh move, I ferried items over several days using a hired ute (pick up truck). My next and final move will be to the cemetery in a wooden box since there is no way I am going to even attempt to move all the stuff my wife and I have now accumulated (we would need all the large vans for hire in our city)
#32
Dealing with people.
#34
Panic attacks. If you’ve never had one you have no idea…..
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Over the years I witnessed many panic attacks among my students. And yes, I really and truly have no idea.
#35
Breaking up with people? SO or friends it's hard to do but other people think it's just a simple No.
#36
Living with ADHD, god i wish i could concentrate without meds.
CrazyKnitter 1 year ago
It's a real struggle. Especially if you stress buy or get distracted easily with new and exciting skills/hobbies to learn and suddenly you've got some expensive new tools/equipment/crafting supplies and you're on to the next thing....
#37
From personal experience, obsessive compulsive disorder. It's not always having all the pens pointed in the same direction, or cleaning everything and double checking locks. It's hell on earth and it's not cute, trendy, or quirky. I wouldn't wish this f****d up mental torture disorder on my worst enemy.
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
I cannot count the number of times I've had to tell people who just like things neat that no, despite what they think, that is not OCD. Seems to be trendy these days to self-diagnose any disorder that sounds quirky, without knowing what the hell you're talking about. There is enough lack of awareness about mental disorders without cretins trying to convince everyone that they have OCD because they want their books in alphabetical order.
#38
Canceling a membership or subscription. .
Mary August 1 year ago
Amazon wouldn't let me unsubscribe the Prime. Canceled the whole Amazon account. Haven't had one in five years. Don't anything from them.
#39
All you have to do is eat less and exercise,
And you'll lose all that weight.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago (edited)
We in the West live in obesogenic societies that encourage obesity, yet all the blame is put on the individuals who fail to beat the system. Poor people are disproportionately affected - they are time poor, so cooking from scratch is harder, and fresh fruit and veg may not be as readily available where they live. Right wing media always portrays fat people as feckless and lazy, blaming them for being a strain on the health system, whilst simultaneously praising the fat profits of the likes of Nestlé (the baby-killers) and Unilever. How is it easy to stay slim when 95% of the food that is normalised in a supermarket is bad for you?
#40
Navigating adult friendships. You'd think staying in touch would just be a matter of sending a text or two, but finding that balance between connection and respecting each other's hectic life is practically an art form. And let's not even get started on the intricacies of group dynamics when everyone's trying to make it to the same dinner plans after months of 'we should totally hang out' texts.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
All my old friends and acquaintances are retired. They still rarely respond to emails or call me. I have to take the initiative every time to at least call them once a year to find out if they are even still alive.
#41
A puppy!
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
Aside from the obvious bundle of cuteness, love and happiness, puppies are also 24/7 peeing and shîtting machines with a huge need for constant attention and consistent discipline :) Especially when they're very young and still settling in, getting used to a routine, new home, new people etc. But all that work is rewarded a thousand-fold soon enough :)
#42
Working in retail. Customers seem to think it's the easiest thing in the world.
#43
Disabilities
I've talked about it before, but there's an annoyingly high percentage of people, who think their milquetoast suggestions are a Gotcha! to my brain damage effects.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago (edited)
Milquetoast - just looked it up and it's a real word! Every day's a school day :-)
#44
Loneliness.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago
I think I'm lucky that I like my own company and can keep myself entertained for long periods of time, but I also think we live in unhealthy societies that are designed around the needs of extraverts and leave a lot of people isolated. As a species we're not designed to live in such big communities, which is why I think a lot of people end up just hating people. I like people in theory, but then I go outside and realise most people just behave like selfish jerks.
#45
Digging a hole. Cutting down a large tree. Pretty much any physical labor in extremely hot weather.
#46
Internet/tv providers. Literally a headache every time I have to call them.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Health insurance phone support. Always have to talk to someone in India who I can barely understand, and who has no clue what I am calling about.
#47
Working on cars. People seem to forget that YouTube mechanics have the ability to edit their content to make it seem simple.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Yes! I recently watched a Youtube video of a guy replacing the windshield wiper motor in his old Camry. Just five bolts and it was out. The video lacked the actual point where he lifts that motor assembly out of the cramped tight body frame. I got it wedged in and broke my windshield trying to get the darn assembly out.
#48
Borderline personality and bipolar.
Kristal 1 year ago
Yeah. I work very hard not to be toxic and it's a lot of work when emotions don't like to be "normal" and can change over the smallest things (bpd). Medication helps a lot but constantly questioning my feelings and making sure I don't take them out on other people is quite energy draining. Worth it though.
#49
Garage doors. I sell them for a living. I grew up installing them. I can't tell you how many calls we've gotten where someone tried working on a door and ended up doubling their bill because they f****d something up. That's ignoring the part where it's dangerous. An old man nearly k*lled himself messing with the torsion springs on one call we got. He lost control of the winding bar, and it came down on the top of his cheekbone directly below the eye with the amount of force needed to lift a wood overlay door. Around a 600 lb door, I'm guessing. It shattered that bone and nearly blinded him.
Call a pro, people!
Steve Hall 1 year ago
Not just with garage doors. Call a professional if you want any job done right!
#50
Taxes.
WindySwede 1 year ago (edited)
Not in Sweden, at least if you don't have income from 'sole proprietorship' (according to wikipedia), company etc. Edit; at least to calculate them.
#51
A really messy excel file, I spent like 3 days just untangling the data and triple checking if there's any mistake.
#52
Assembling IKEA furniture. People often assume it's a straightforward task, but it quickly becomes a frustrating puzzle where you end up with extra pieces and a strong sense of regret.
Daya Meyer 1 year ago
I love to build flat-pack furniture. You have to read the instructions carefully and many of them have great drawings about how it is done and what pieces belongs where. One step after another and some patience is needed. And some containers to hold the small pieces like screws etc.
#55
Infertility.
Fire Singer 1 year ago
The expense alone if you do want children is insane. IVF, adoption, surrogacy, any choice and it's going to cost a fortune. So on top of dealing with being infertile you have to figure out a way to pay for an alternative. :( (not me but a friend of mine dealt with this and I felt so bad for her! She did adopt eventually though and her little girl is so loved!)
What do you think ?
StrangeOne 1 year ago
Apartment hunting. You fill out an application and then the agency wants a deposit while they deliberate if they'll accept you. While you're waiting, you'll want to look at and apply for other apartments, not knowing if you'll get accepted, and you won't know until you send in the application with deposit. But wait... You only have so much money, bills need to get paid, you need to eat and get yourself to work and you have hundreds on hold and may take a month before it's given back to you. And the clock is ticking towards the deadline. You may need a cosigner. Great, now who's willing to do that for you?
Sophia Athene 1 year ago (edited)
And you have to pay a background check fee and an application fee (not a deposit but fees even if you don't rent from them or they turn you down). At the time of signing, if you're lucky to get the apartment, you owe 1st and last months' rent along with a non-refundable cleaning and repairs deposit of several hundreds of $$$ and another non-refundable pet deposit of hundreds of $$$ if you have a pet small enough to meet their requirements.
Load More Replies... Liz The Biz 1 year ago
Coping with an elderly incontinent pet dog. People say, "Oh it's just a bit of pee." No it's not. In reality it is a 24/7 job. It is endless washing and drying of bedding, shampooing carpets, bathing and cleaning up the dog, and the smell that permeates everything and does not go away no matter how many air freshners or scented candles you use. There's no day off and you can't go away on holiday because nobody wants to look after an incontinent dog.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
Apartment hunting. You fill out an application and then the agency wants a deposit while they deliberate if they'll accept you. While you're waiting, you'll want to look at and apply for other apartments, not knowing if you'll get accepted, and you won't know until you send in the application with deposit. But wait... You only have so much money, bills need to get paid, you need to eat and get yourself to work and you have hundreds on hold and may take a month before it's given back to you. And the clock is ticking towards the deadline. You may need a cosigner. Great, now who's willing to do that for you?
Sophia Athene 1 year ago (edited)
And you have to pay a background check fee and an application fee (not a deposit but fees even if you don't rent from them or they turn you down). At the time of signing, if you're lucky to get the apartment, you owe 1st and last months' rent along with a non-refundable cleaning and repairs deposit of several hundreds of $$$ and another non-refundable pet deposit of hundreds of $$$ if you have a pet small enough to meet their requirements.
Load More Replies... Liz The Biz 1 year ago
Coping with an elderly incontinent pet dog. People say, "Oh it's just a bit of pee." No it's not. In reality it is a 24/7 job. It is endless washing and drying of bedding, shampooing carpets, bathing and cleaning up the dog, and the smell that permeates everything and does not go away no matter how many air freshners or scented candles you use. There's no day off and you can't go away on holiday because nobody wants to look after an incontinent dog.
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