60 Signs Your Controlling Partner Is A Walking Red Flag

I think it should read „even in public“! My partner and I support each other in public settings unconditionally, but at home then might Tell the other that we are actually not 100% of their opinion or that it was not that smartest move, or whatever. I find it extremely important to have her back in front of others, but privately I need to be able to say if I do not agree. In short „I will always support her no matter what, but will also always be straight forward in my feedback“

This is true, but not really helpful. In practice, what this looks like is that he will criticize your friends and family, he will refuse to attend social events and will probably guilt you for leaving him alone, he may outright say "you cant spend time with that person" but its more likely to be slow and insidious, beginning with general disapproval. He is likely to allege that THEY are abusive or controlling and that you are better off without them, or that you don't need them because you have HIM. For the record, a partner that loves you does not necessarily have to like your friends/family, but he should still encourage and support your time with them!

Me: I wanna cut my hair, its too hot and I think the weight is one cause of my headaches Him: no I like it black and long Me: this pastel/floral blue is cute  Him: dont you dare wear that c**p or Imma burn it in front of you

One of my trigger phrases is "just shut the f**k up," to which my reactionary response is to do everything but that, and make sure that they know that as well. Very quick in the relationship to let them know hey, please don't use that phrase in arguments because it makes me feel like you don't care about my opinion and it will result in the argument escalating and it will never make me actually be quiwt. For some reason they never believe me smh

Again a little vague and actually really really hard to pinpoint in the beginning, because manipulation is often accompanied by its best friends and partners in crime, Gaslighting (i.e.. that's not what happened/you are imaging things/you are crazy) and Guilt (if YOU loved me YOU would do X, YOU are at fault, YOU don't care). If any of these thoughts sounds familiar, think carefully about what's happening in your relationship.

love the photo for this one

Again, true.... but not really helpful. "Abusive" takes many forms. Its is not always yelling, shouting and name calling. More often it is subtle and begins with micro aggressions and criticisms of your looks or quirks. Subtle comments that degrade or embarrass you. Abuse can also be financial, such as hurrying to join finances and then restricting access, criticism of your spending or attempting to control how you spend your money. Abuse is very general in nature but generally speaking, if your partner is making you feel bad about yourself on a regular basis - look hard and carefully, because that it abuse.

This is so hard to recover from

That likely means they are cheating on you, they just want to feel better/more justified about it.

Really? Being insecure is a sign of being controlling? I’m sorry, but this one is blatantly wrong.

My ex did this (I have never been well-off and he thought it was a simple as getting a better paying job) and refused to get a job himself. He's living off of his inheritance from his father which will NOT last. It's only his grave he's digging now, though...

this is very true. my husband keeps all his stuffed locked in his office but all my stuff he has gone through, read diaries from when i was a teenager (41 now). If i even ask about his stuff it starts an argument and hes always ready for a divorce if i even speak.

And try to gaslight you into a "debate."

And say

No, not always.

Or you are just anti-social.

Not always.

No, not always.

A little teasing is acceptable, but if you go to far, immediately and sincerely apologize.