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Sorry, parents, but your sons and daughters have secrets. Whether they don't want to upset you or are sick and tired of the "same old lecture," they keep some things to themselves. It's normal. And it doesn't mean they hate you or anything. Plus, there's a good chance that eventually they will open up to you. Probably. If you're treating them right.
Because as Reddit user 1quid_nurgget found out when they asked, "What is the biggest secret you've kept from your parents?", children often get back at their moms and dads by simply keeping their lives away from them. Yes, there were a few innocent answers, but they were mostly exceptions. Continue scrolling and take a look for yourself.
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#1
I told them that I was doing a extra on site learning course for uni in which I would be away for 31 days interstate. My husband sorted out the kids so he was fine.
I actually went to a residential rehab and got clean and sober. Didn’t tell them until I was released. They literally had no idea.
Katy McMouse 5 years ago
You do what you have to do to get better. She told her family in the end, but even if she had not, she still did what she needed to do and came home. Not everyone can say this.
Louchebert 5 years ago
There's more than one way to Rome. In this case the goal justifies the means, I think.
Colleen Garland 5 years ago
I disagree with Brigs. There is a fair amount of alcoholics in my family and all but one is sober. She was able to work and learn with a clear head. She knew everyone was good at home and she could learn and be at peace with others that understand her. Everything turned out good for the family and they may have some family sections to talk it over with a councilor. What ever works.
If you also are carrying big secrets with you, be careful. They hurt. Turns out, secrecy is associated with lower well-being, worse health, and less satisfying relationships. Researchers have been linking secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, symptoms of poor health, and even the more rapid progression of disease. The explanation for this is kinda intuitive: hiding secrets is hard work. You have to be careful with what you say and if people ask you about something related to the secret, you must not let it slip through. This requires evasion and/or deception, which can be really exhausting.
RELATED:
#2
I make more money than I let on. My parents have and will always be the "I take care of you all your life, time for you to pay it back" type of parent. Except there is no end to this "debt". So I hide money from them so they can't take advantage of me
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Parents who think of their children as a long term investment usually end up as lonely old people .
IlovemydogShilo 5 years ago
Just refuse to pay them. What's the worse they can do? They cannot punish you for the same things like they did when you were a child. If you have your own place they can't ground you and or take away TV privileges. And if they try physical punishment like slapping you either report them to the police or at least threaten to. The mere threat should be enough. It was for my Dad. He was like this. We had an argument once and he came back at me and said "you know, I can still give you a good hiding". To which I replied "try it and I will report you and I will take it all the way" I was 23 at the time. He knew I meant it. He never threatened me again. Some parents are bullies. And like bullies once you stand up to them and show you're not afraid of them anymore or won't take any more of their crap they leave you alone. Try it . It's your money it's up to you what you do with it. You don't owe them anything.
GirlFriday 5 years ago
My SIL goes through this. Her father insists that he be given money to pay him back for raising her and her sister. It always something with him...he complains that they spend money on the children for Christmas when she owes him so much, he starts in January asking about their tax refund because he is owed. I asked her about it one time and she said that he feels her and her sister owe him for everything he spent when they were growing up. She had to have braces on her teeth as a child and it cost him $1200 and she paid him for that, her mother bought her a prom dress and he wanted paid back for that. It never ends.
Chich 5 years ago
I would stop all contact, plus I'll bet he did not pay his parents back a dime.
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Martha Meyer 5 years ago
That's sad! I enjoyed buying my mother stuff after I started making more money than she ever did.
Carrie Laughs 5 years ago
I expect the difference is she never asked for it or expected anything back. Any parent who thinks they have the right to their 'money back' are absolutely out of order. You are supposed to do it for the love of the child, not some future investment. What children need to realise is that you can walk away from your parents and be perfectly happy. Sometimes is a necessity.
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New research, however, suggests that the harm of secrets comes not from keeping it, but from having to live with it.
To better understand the harms of secrecy, scientists set out to understand what secrets people keep in the first place. They found that 97 percent of people have at least one secret at any given moment, and people have, on average, 13 secrets. A survey of more than 5,000 participants revealed that common secrets include preferences, desires, issues surrounding relationships and sex, cheating, infidelity and violations of others' trust.
The paper states that when a person confides a secret to a third party, it does not reduce how often they have to conceal the secret from others who are still kept in the dark. Rather, it reduces how often their mind ponders about the secret in irrelevant moments.
#3
That my sister is gay. She openly admits it to everyone, except for my family. She opened up to me, eventually but both my parents and older brother don't know about it. Since then we've become a lot closer than when we were kids.
Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago
So good to have sister like you. Even better if whole family is supportive for their relatives, regardless their sexual or other orientation
Louchebert 5 years ago
Such a pity society still has problems with gay people or basically anyone who's different. The more people vary, the more colourful society gets... no?
MammaG 5 years ago
If you ever need a mom to love you, you have one here. <3
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Inioluwa Adewara 5 years ago
Sry i but i just noticed u said Gay instead of Lesbian, and 2 some ppl it is rude cuz gay-man, les-woman, Me- straighter than my hairline
Revealing a secret can feel cathartic and relieving. But mere catharsis may not be enough. When confiding a secret, the conversation that follows is what's really helpful. People report that when they share a secret with another person, they often receive emotional support, useful guidance, and helpful advice. These forms of support make them feel more confident and capable in coping with carrying the secret. So it's important to talk about what you're hiding. Even with the Internet. Anonymously. A single conversation can lead to a healthier mind.
#4
My mom always wondered why i didn't have friends in high school and it is because we were broke and I knew she was struggling so i refused anytime people wanted to do things so I wouldn't ask for money then in my last year of high school I worked full time so I had no time to make friends
Roman Hans 5 years ago
This could be me talking. Another anecdote: in high school, one class had a three-day field trip to Mexico. I remember the first restaurant stop we had where the teacher said of course we’d have to pay for all of our food. I had maybe $2 in my pocket.
@Daisychain 5 years ago
That is weird. I feel like that should have been stated in the packet you had to sign...
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Farzana Essop 5 years ago
As the child of a single mother this post hits home on a whole different level. But at least I know my mummy is a superhero
Purbasha Banai 5 years ago
I relate to this or maybe I am this person. If I ever even mistakenly let this out of my mouth to my parents, I know they'll be heart broken and that'll kill me from inside.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Yeah. No money to go to a movie, means... you eventually get left out/behind. Unless you have other poor friends, who are in the same place, and I was lucky enough to have them.
Pseudo Puppy 5 years ago
totally understand this.... it's been this way since I was 14.... all through highschool & university.... and I had to continue it after university, because I was trying to repay debts / deal with injuries / get my life on tack. If you're born poor, and want to get out of it, it often takes at least double the effort to get a life that the non-poor consider "normal". After almost dying in a motorbike accident (caused my someone breaking 5 laws & causing the collision).... I am STILL doing sacrificing social connections, trying to get my life "on track" again.
ArhomR 5 years ago
Pseudo Puppy, you are doing an amazing job of getting back on track. You have such determination you will achieve your goals. Best wishes.
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KT 5 years ago
I feel this. I didn't hide the fact from my friends that my parents were dirt poor. They helped me rise up, they gave me and bought me food at times. I'll never forget when I went on a camping trip, all i took was a sleeve of cheese crackers to tide me over for the night, and when I was far from home opened my bag, found that my mom had taken the sleeve of cheese crackers out when I wasn't looking and I f*****g starved for nearly 48 hours.
Janine B. 5 years ago
Your financial circumstances shouldn't stop you from having friends. Friends don't care about money, they care about you. I grew up with a single mom and really not much wealth. Still I always had friends. And most of them I still have.
Carrie Laughs 5 years ago
We don't always have much choice about the people who surround us. If parents struggle to get their child into an expensive school chances are they'll be in the minority. Difficult.
Load More Replies... #5
That I’m not going to finish my degree and I’ve paid off my student loans. My degree was pointless and I don’t do well in school due to my ADHD. My dad constantly asks when I’m going to finish and stop bartending...I just say soon. I hate disappointing them because my Dad gets very proud of my sister and I with our accomplishments...but truth be told, I’m quite content with the 60k I make bartending. My degree would've only pulled 35k starting.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Time to say, "Dad, I found my niche in bartending, and it means I have more money and less debt. That's a good thing." We're not all meant for college-degree-career-things.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
If her dad is anything like my parents that doesn’t matter. It’s not a real job in their eyes
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Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
And if/when you decide to open your own bar, you can just go back and take some relevant business courses. If/when you decide to go back and finish your degree, you can do it part time while still working and—-bonus!—-if you go back to the same school, and they changed the courses required to fulfill that major, it won’t affect you. You finish your degree with the courses outlined in the handbook of the year you declared your major (if they no longer offer them, see an academic advisor for alternatives).
CatWoman312 5 years ago
Honestly I understand why you can’t tell him. I have parents just like your dad
Erin Shaw 5 years ago
Drives me nuts how people make it seem like bartenders or other service workers cannot possibly be happy at their jobs and they are just there temporarily! They make an honest living, don't drown in debt to make less... and truth be told, working in an office is friggin miserable. Do you and be happy!
Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago
You can just say "I'm fine, and I feel good with what I'm doing, and you don't have to worry about my degree or my future". I think they have not other choice than to accept you the way you are. And I'm sure they will support you in your future decisions.
CamlikesCookies 5 years ago
While that is the right thing to do, it is quite hard to.
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Jojo Dancer 5 years ago
I bartended for 15 years during and after college, even when I started teaching because the money was so good in it. Graduated debt free because of it. I know tons of "lifers" that make a killing slingin' drinks, with a degree that means nothing.
Pseudo Puppy 5 years ago
$60k?????? Whoa.... I WISH I could've earned that while working in hospitality....
Joanne Haywood 5 years ago
I just can’t understand why every young person wants to go to college. Or is it a rite of passage thing?
#6
I am transgender. I haven't told literally anyone I know. I live in the bible belt in the south, and my grandfather is the pastor and owner of a fairly large church. I don't have any plans on telling anyone or transitioning until I move from the town I'm living in right now.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
"Owner of a very large church" sounds to me as some conman who set up a business in religion.
Chicago Dog Lover 5 years ago
I'm so very sorry. I'm no biblical scholar, but I'm clear that Jesus was against judging others.
Colin L 5 years ago
Yep. Jesus hates FIGS. People get confused so easily.
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Louchebert 5 years ago
Religion should be about love and acceptance, not pointing the finger at someone and be judgemental. Besides that, all the sh#t the so called priest and pastors have done to and with young kids... yuck. But if you want to be who you are they condemn you. When you think about it, it doesn't make any sense at all :-(
Cornerdog 5 years ago
There are many people who will love and accept you for who you are. You may find them amongst your family and friends and in your hometown; if you don't, just remember, they're out there somewhere. It's possible for you to be both yourself, and happy.
Pumpkin Spice 4 years ago
Good on you, person! And happy belated pride month! Hope you can transition soon. Whether you need chest binders (M) or estrogen supplements (F) I hope you get them, good luck!
#7
My location for the past 25 years.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
There are people in my family who haven't seen me in person for nearly 30 years, and I'm keeping it that way. Don't judge til you know why we hide. In my case, for my safety.
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
The way I see it is like this: Go out into the world and be happy—-your own happiness, surrounded by people who love you just the way you are. People who would never even think of hurting you, and who will be by your side to comfort and support you when you encounter the inevitable assholes out there. I don’t judge, because you are me after I left home at 18 (I’m 59, so that was January 1979). Believe me, I had good reasons, and thank goodness I also had older brothers who cared about me and helped me leave. I have had a normally happy life since then, because it was MY life; my choices, my mistakes, my autonomy, and I have loved every minute! I hope your life is as happy. My parents are both dead now—-mother in 2001, father in 2012—and I never mourned either of them. All I felt after they were both finally gone was relief; as if the fact that neither of them is drawing breath anymore magically lifted a heavy weight off me. You might experience the exact same thing.
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Jean H. 5 years ago
Their in hiding....for what ever reason, which they feel is best for them.
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Jayne Kyra 5 years ago
Picture has been added by the staff. The original poster on Reddit meant they were hiding their location from their parents. Misleading photo has nothing to do with it.
Junebugjump! 5 years ago
Some parents don't deserve to have that info. My mother doesn’t for sure!
Louchebert 5 years ago
It shouldn't be necessary, but unfortunately it still is. Some people are a-holes beyond believe...
Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
Pay the extra couple bucks for an unlisted phone number. Don’t list the contact information for anyone you don’t want contacted about you on any documents, legal or otherwise. Decline to talk about them, and let people know they’re way out of bounds if they try to make you. Don’t give out too much personal information on social media—-if you’re on it at all. Value your privacy—-the less you reveal, the less chance someone you don’t want prying into your private life can find out, like family members you’ve broken with, intrusive employers (this should be illegal, btw), or stalkers (I had one for a couple years who only stopped bothering me when he found out I got married).
Load More Replies... #8
I met the guy my mom told me was my real father. We did a DNA test and there is a 0% chance. He even took me on a white water rafting trip with his wife and son. I’ve never told her.
Lousha 5 years ago
Never liked the phrase "real parent" in this context. To my mind your REAL mother/father is the one who stuck with you and raised you and cleaned your bum when you were a baby. Biological parent is the one who contributed to your conception, but if that's all they did that doesn't make them an actual parent.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
Amen to that. Anyone can be a father, but not everyone can be a dad.
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Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
Well, maybe not. People have been known to date more than one person at a time, so she might not really be sure, and just picked the best one. Or she may have really good reasons not to tell him. If he was the result of rape or incest, or if his biological father turned out to be an abuser or some other kind of deviant. Sometimes it’s better not to know.
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Marcellus the Third 5 years ago
Yes, like Bob Barker surely is Barney Stinson's dad.
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Jo Johannsen 5 years ago
My real father, who I last saw at about two years old, was a man who beat and tried to kill my mother more than once. I'm better off having no memories of him.
#9
That I was molested as a kid and suicidal for years afterwards. They knew I had a nervous breakdown Freshman year of High School and was suicidal at 15, they didn't know I'd been messed up since I was 10.
M Phalen 5 years ago (edited)
Me too...abused by my father. Molested by my mom’s coworker. Alone and isolated and suicidal since I was 13. I never told my mom a thing...it would’ve killed her. Some days are better, some not. I’ve always felt that it wasn’t a question of if but when....there are worse things than dying.
Chicago Dog Lover 5 years ago
I'm so very sorry. Remember, it's the parents' job to protect children, not the other way around. Please, please get professional help before making any decisions you can't undo. You might be able to heal more than you think.
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Kevin Donegan 5 years ago
The devastation of abuse .... shame and blaming yourself. The healing involves sharing your secret so you no longer have to carry that burden by yourself.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
You really should tell them the truth. I’m assuming it was someone they think highly of otherwise I don’t see why you’d hide it
RoyalMoon27 5 years ago
They may feel ashamed, afraid, or it may simply be too much for them to talk about. Trauma isn't easy to discuss, even if it's seemingly illogical not to.
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von Funnyname 5 years ago
whoever you are... i hear you. Wasn't molested, but God almighty have I been on the S train before. Glad you're around to have written this to us all.
I'm lay sheep in China 5 years ago
Been suicidal since 8-9 and now I'm 17y/o, wish never born and never have to ruin my Parents life. Try death few times but I guess even death don't want me :)
Colleen Garland 5 years ago
So sorry that happened you. I hope there is someone you can talk to.
Kim Lorton 5 years ago
To heal, you need to share this. There is No statute of limitations on this kind of crime! Let them know and prosecute. Let them love and support you.
RoyalMoon27 5 years ago
It means touched in an inappropriate way nonconsensually.
Load More Replies... Pumpkin Spice 4 years ago
*pulls out knife* I was suicidal too. Once cut my wrists. I hope you will be okay. If you need anything, please ask. Somewhere. Idk...
#10
They had no idea I left my job with the cable company to sell cars / write up oil changes for almost a year. I was emotionally burnt out from the bulls**t and couldn't take it anymore so I tried switching careers. Didn't really pan out, but it did get me away from that toxic s**thole of a company and allowed me to figure out what I actually wanted to do and go from there.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
That’s good, but selling cars can be dishonest work too. I work in collections and I see way too many people who were conned into buying a car they couldn’t afford because some salesmen was more worried about their commission than what was best for the customer.
Potato 5 years ago
Which is why we should encourage more morally sound people to take those jobs.
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#11
My parents are very staunch Muslims. They raised me strictly in Islam and they figure that I’m a good Muslim like the rest of my siblings. I love my parents and they are good people, but I don’t have the heart to tell them that I’ve never really believed in religion and it only got worse when I got older and went to college. I don’t know how to keep this façade any longer because whenever I’m home I have to act as Muslim as possible, and I know if I would want them in my life I would have to follow Islamic traditions that just aren’t for me.
Martha Meyer 5 years ago
Maybe some of the siblings feel the same and are just pretending too?
Night Owl 5 years ago
I seriously sometimes wonder how many people in this world are only pretending to be religious
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Farzana Essop 5 years ago
Same here. I was being forced against my will. It made me hate the religion and God for years. Convinced myself o didn't believe in God anymore. But turns out I do believe in God I just don't believe in religion. It all feels like rules just meant to suppress the human spirit. Whatever your beliefs are or aren't the goal is happiness and peace
Saara . 5 years ago
As a Muslim, I always wonder what non-American Muslims are talking about when they say "strict." Maybe it's cultural; my family is American and I love being a Muslim.
Joanne Haywood 5 years ago
This is just one of many situations that can end in a so-called honour killing. There have been some in the Uk just because a female muslim has been dating a non-Muslim, refusing an arranged marriage or marrying someone who their parents don’t approve of.
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
It's quite interesting how people denouncing religions get downvoted. "I'm a modern person and I think that everyone is entitled to his own opinion. BUT DON"T YOU DARE SAY THAT MY RELIGION ISN"T THE BEST GODD*MN RELIGION IN THE WORLD!!!"
Cathy Gaines 5 years ago
I feel you! My Muslim in laws aren't really all that religious, but my husband still hides his beer, bacon, lack of fasting during Ramadan, and atheism
Pseudo Puppy 5 years ago
having come from a family of multiple faiths / christian denominations.... I totally understand the pressure kids face from adults who want the kids to be "a good (insert faith here)"..... there comes a point where a choice needs to be made: to either continue the facade forever, or to stop. Both have repercussions. Both involve losses and stresses. It becomes a choice between which repercussions / losses / stresses will cause YOU the least problems in your life. It's often a lose-lose situation - you just have to choose which loss.
Lousha 5 years ago
In some things there is no compromise. E.g. if you want a child more than anything and your partner really doesn't, you can't meet halfway. Either you find new partners and happiness, or one of you accepts the other's will and likely be miserable. Same with people who have deeply imbedded beliefs and feel that they can only accept others who share that. All you have is two choices: keep pretending so you can have a fake relationship and take bigger and bigger sacrifices, or tell them and accept that it might very well mean no more relationship.
Ace Cole 5 years ago
I hate that religion is forced onto children. If I have children I will teach them about religion with no bias and tell them they can follow whatever religion they want as long as they are a good person. (i.e don't hate others for race, religion, sexuality, gender identity, ect.)
#12
When I was 12 I saw emails on my mom's iPod touch. The emails were very suggestive and were between my mother and another man. I never told my dad that I saw those emails. I wish I did, because it turned out that she was cheating on him.
This is the first time I've mentioned it to anyone. It feels good to get it off my chest.
Megan Grey 5 years ago
That’s really hard, but please know that it wasn’t your job or responsibility to tell her.
RoyalMoon27 5 years ago
*him. It clearly states that it was OP's mom cheating on their dad.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 5 years ago
What a burden for a 12 year old! In hindsight, however, it’s better you never got involved, and just let your parents work through it themselves.
Sarina Greenhaven 5 years ago
I'm glad you feel a little relieved after sharing that! Stuff like that is always super tough
Rocio Palacios 5 years ago
I feel you. In fifth grade I was sure that my dad was having an affair. Never told anyone. When the secret finally exploded ir affected my mom way too much. She never recovered.
#13
I want to be a dental surgeon, but my parents want me to go to school for a crackpot antivaxx "holistic" naturopathic doctor because they don't trust modern medicine. I'm afraid that if I tell them, They well refuse to pay for my college/dental school expenses, or worse, disowned.
Joonscrab 5 years ago
It's very easy to say. Sometimes it's impossible to do that.
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YupItsMe1234 5 years ago
Tell them you will go to school to be a dental surgeon first so you can learn about all the lies, then after you infiltrated the modern society, you will join the crackpot naturopathic line and know everything
Kim Lorton 5 years ago
Go do what you love, and want to do! You may end up the best dental surgeon around, and help a great many people! With their degree they want you to get, you would just bilking hundred out of hard earned money, for treatments and pills that don’t work or are not safe.
Demi Zwaan 5 years ago
They won’t pay for dental school anyway, only for that holistic nonsense, so it doesn’t matter. Get a real education, become a dental surgeon!
Junebugjump! 5 years ago
You do you. Period. It’s your life and you do not owe your parents anything. Trust me. They only have you for 18 years, you have you until you die. Due happy.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
You can find ways to pay for school. YOu can't find ways to fix stupid.
#14
They have a grandchild.
shinshige 5 years ago
This was supposed to be an, “OH”, reaction. Apparently I don’t know where that is.
Load More Replies... Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago
C'mon! What have your parents done to you to hide that from them? I feel sad for you
Nomadus Aureus 5 years ago
In my case, one of my parents has been physically violent with me for well over a decade. While that stopped, they are still extremely unpredictable and verbally abusive. If I were a mum, I wouldn't let my child near them while unattended and not without an exit plan.
Load More Replies... #15
They don't know how depressed I actually am.
Maria Emerson 5 years ago
Do you need someone to talk to? If you're not telling your parents, is there someone else you are talking to? I just want to make sure you are still getting the help you need even if you don't want your parents to know.
Joanne Haywood 5 years ago
Mine neither. They would be horrified if people they knew found out as they’re of an age when mental ill health was seen as a stigma affecting the rest of the family.
Louloubelle 5 years ago
My daughter struggles with depression, and has since she was a child. I acknowledge her pain, have brought her to therapy, supported her in every way I can think of, and yet she still is very closed off about it and I think sometimes she lies to be about it.
soni w 5 years ago
Along with depression comes the guilt of the pain it brings to our parents. My mum is old and unwell and has always hurt inside seeing my sadness. In the last few years I have covered it and lied about it to spare her beautiful heart. I love her more than the world and I guess it makes me happier when I see she believes my untruth. She has given me everything, a little lie here and there and covering my sadness is deception for the greater good. It's done out of love. I am almost 50.
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Colin Saunders 5 years ago
i would not want to burden my parents with that stuff, they were young too, they've been through it all, and then some, they've been through what we have, and for the most part, we never knew. I would not want to burden my parents with that.
Louloubelle 5 years ago
Colin, I don't know about your parents, but I as a parent would want that burden. I'm sure some people will weigh in here, and I hope they do. But I think caring parents will definitely want you to talk. I wish my daughter would talk to be about it more.
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Kim Lorton 5 years ago
Please, go get help before it becomes so bad! It is not something you will get over. It truly is a chemical imbalance I. The brain. Medication does help. I know. And my medication works for me. Please go get help.
#16
My parents divorced when I was eight. My dad left, and I never saw much of him. Among other issues, he came out to my brother and I before they divorced. I never told my mother that he was gay. My father passed in 2011, my mother in 2017. I think she had an idea, but we never discussed it. He was born in 1945, before such a thing was accepted, and attempted at 'passing.'
Iulia stratulat 5 years ago
Why wouldn’t you tell? I can imagine that this would be a release of pressure on the parent that got dumped if they knew that it wasn’t their fault and it was just biology.
Rick 5 years ago
I understand your thinking but on the other hand it is quite cruel to tell your own mother “by the way, dad told us he was gay but didn’t want us to tell you because he didn’t want you to know” when he’s been dead for almost a decade. What would she be supposed to do with that information? It could have ended up being hurtful.
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Ronel du Plessis 5 years ago
Same here! at 13 years old, I found out that my dad was gay. He passed in 2012. Think my mom knows, but no one knows that I knew since then. I am 42 now. Not even my husband knows.
Jaded Queen 5 years ago
I hate how people ruin others life to sav e their own skin. Even if he was gay ,he could remain unmarried or if safe have a 'friend'. But ruining somebody else's life to save ur own. Whatever ur struggles maybe it doesn't diminish other's life. My country is in that phase too. LGBT ppl can't come out. Most of them will marry normally and this exact thing would happen afterwards. If I ever to be in such situation I would kill my husband for wasting my life and the betrayal. I don't give a asss f**k if it's biology or science or s**t. If u betray me ur gonna face the consequences
Jeff Requier 5 years ago
My uncle is almost 70 now and told everyone he was gay 30 years ago, hes the most religious in the family too.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
This gives me so many emotions. I know this doesn’t happen as often, but I hope today if a gay individual is trying to stay hidden don’t marry a straight person and live a lie. You’re hurting so many people by being selfish like that.
MarcAngelina Alcober 5 years ago
selfish? selfish is the last word I would use... if anything they are trying their hardest to fit the "norm" of what society has told them is acceptable... I know for my Uncle- he didnt want to lose his family, he was hoping that maybe if he got married and had a family- it would change... selfish is the last thing he was... he was the most self-less person I knew- he thought of everyone but himself
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#17
That I'm a lesbian. And that that "friend" who I don't invite home anymore is actually my ex...
ML 5 years ago
I would be totally ok, if my daughter turns out to be lesbian. That is her life and if she is happy, then I am happy.
RoyalMoon27 5 years ago
You should be the model for all parents to follow in regards to homophobia.
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#18
Just how abusive my ex was.
Nancy Taylor 5 years ago
I sat down and watched the movie "What's Love Got to Do With It" with my mom to help explain the violence I went through with my ex---she finally got it.
Kim Lorton 5 years ago
They need to know. To maybe protect you one day. It will empower you to let them know, and allow them to feel proud, you got out of an abusive relationship!
#19
i just pay escorts to show as my 'girlfriend' so they would stop telling their friends to hook me up with their daughters. every gathering they would show up meet everyone and always have to leave early. i pay by hour.
nanashi 5 years ago
as an ace, I feel this. they don't WANT to understand why I would never date, so I had to go all the way to pretend and lie just to make them feel better.
Parmeisan 5 years ago
Asexual. There are a lot of different specifics as to how it can work for someone but it almost always means that the person is not interested in (or is sometimes repulsed by) sex, and for reasons unrelated to libido. (High-libido ace people do exist, and sometimes handle that solo but take no more pleasure from it than they would from using the toilet.) Ace people will also sometimes engage in sex because they have a partner who is not ace, e.g. the same way some people will engage in a kink they don't enjoy, for the sole benefit of their partner. As I said a lot of different ways it can play out, but ace=asexual.
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Iris Wolfie (づ ◕‿◕ )づ 5 years ago
By wow, I mean, Wow, you're a real trooper dealing with all those people who tried to hook you up with their daugters.
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Mark Serbian 5 years ago
By the hour is still cheaper than dating all the "nice young girls" your parents try to hook you up with...
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Keep your money in your pocket and say you're in a long distance relationship but things are difficult.
Potato 5 years ago
Having to deal with it every single time wears down on you. And you don’t know how his family is behaving, really, so it could be worse than you think.
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Wolfstar 5 years ago
Shut up. The guy might be asexual, gay, or have personal reasons for not dating.
Load More Replies... #20
This isn't too bad, but I never really want to have kids. Maybe one day that might change, but I haven't told my parents as they both seem so happy to think that one day they'll be grandparents and that I'll be a mother and we'll all be happy and - Mum? I already have enough stress.
Lousha 5 years ago
As someone who did tell them about a million times for years: all you get for sharing is constant talks about how you'll change your mind eventually or you'll regret it bitterly when it's gonna be too late to have a kid.
Nhaundar 5 years ago
Its bullshit. Do what youre like to do. You can be happy without children. I dont want kids since Iam 13 iam 30 now and it still hasnt changed. I count the days when no doctor tells me iam to young to get my tubes tied. -_-
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Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Wow. My mom said, "I don't need to be a grandma, do what you need to do," and taht was *before* we realized I couldn't hve kids anyway!
Hannah Alexandra 5 years ago
This is me. I turned 36 last week and it's been on my mind a lot lately. x
Joanne Haywood 5 years ago
Since I was very young I have said that I will not have children. I simply do not want one of any and at very nearly 60 ... I think I’ve won in this argument.
Kathrine Rux 5 years ago
im not having bio kids but there's a slim chance i might adopt in the future but im just happy my sisters having a kid so im not pressured to have one lmao
Katerina Huskova 5 years ago
Your life, your choice. I have two kids. I love them to the Moon and back. But parenting is f*cking hard.
Erin Shaw 5 years ago
Me too. I'm 37. They have one grandchild from my sister that they absolutely adore. But I see how my mom looks at me when I hold my cousins babies or friends babies. I do love those kiddos with all I have, but I'm quite content being Auntie. I love my auntie role, and honestly, just the thought of having kids exhaust me.
Clever Dog 5 years ago
live your life for you. I am 43 and my wife and I dont want kids and now I have made that a certainty (snip) its nobodies business but ours.
#21
That I thought I have mental problems but I keep pushing it down and trying to fix it myself, because I think that people will think its for the attention and it makes me question myself but I try to be normal.
Martha Meyer 5 years ago
Just go see a therapist. That's a neutral person, who won't think it's attention seeking.
kjorn 5 years ago
therapist cost a freaking lot of money. my wife would like to find one and couldn't find the time for or the money
Load More Replies... Jodi BottleOf 5 years ago
Martha Meyer, I hope you take this constructively as it is meant to be. I've found the word whole life and if I hear "Just" is terribly toxic to the person hearing it. I know, bc I've been depressed my whole life, and if I hear "Just cheer up" one more time...! Think about it, "Just break up with him" or "Just get your masters degree already" or "Just go to the gym everyday...." If we could just, we WOULD just. I've noticed this and brought it up in many conversations and it's changed the way people word things for the better. *Side Story: I have a friend who is a quadriplegic and I was having a bad mood swing the day we were hanging out. She said, "Can't you just thing of happy things and feel better?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Can't you just think about standing up and do it?" After teh shock wore off, she thanks me for helping her understand depression.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
You could literally have a piece of paper that says your mentally ill and someone will still say you do it for attention. Don’t let anyone prevent you from bettering yourself out of fear of judgement. You’ll be judged either way.
Kate Yeti 5 years ago
I lived the whole first part of my life like that. Now that I'm open about it, there are still people who don't get it. But life is much easier for me now. I don't get depressed about being depressed, I don't get anxious about having anxiety. And that made both chronic conditions so much easier to live with. Keep going. It gets better, really.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
I tried handling it myself. I made it to my 40s before I wound up in the ER. SEE HELP IF YOU CAN SAFELY DO SO!
Kim Lorton 5 years ago
Go, and get help. One day, the pressure will be too much and you will blow. Don’t let yourself get to that point. Get help now.
Louchebert 5 years ago
Yeah, admit to yourself you need to seek professional help. It's no shame and it probably will make you feel (a bit) better.
soni w 5 years ago
Totally right! There are many charity organisations that help with mental health. It's worth looking into when you need help the most.
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#22
My mom has made derogatory comments about lesbian/bi women. I think that if I came out as bi she'd make it seem like she'd accept it, but deep down she wouldn't really. I don't think I'll ever be coming out fully.
Audrey Hjerpe 5 years ago
I am in a sort of similar position. My mom hasn't directly said anything homophobic, but some things she has said have hinted at it, and she's definitely not going out of her way to show support. I want to come out to my parents, and I know my dad will be fine with it, but I don't know how my mom will react.
Clever Dog 5 years ago
I feel sorry for anybody who cant be honest with their parents and any parent that does not love their child NO MATTER what. If you have a child you should always support and love them, you can advise but always support.
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
Ah, my heart is with this post as well. My parents make fun of almost everyone that fits under the rainbow flag, and I think if I come out to them they'll act like they accept it, but they'll just feel disappointed. And they'll probably forget that they can't make fun of LGBTQ+ people anymore, and that'll probably like... IDK,... Irritate them? Anyways, despite all that, I'm planning to out myself next year, on my birthday. By getting a cake with the bi flag, or like... Getting a rainbow cake and circling purple, pink and blue? Not sure yet lol.
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
also we live in the southern, hard-core Bible Belt-south. So. Fun times.
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Ilona Orlova 5 years ago
Well, I guess that would be the same for me, apart from also having to explain what bi actually means.
Ilona Orlova 5 years ago
Well, I guess the same would happen to me if I'd mentioned that I'm bi, apart from having to explain what that actually means.
David Gripon 5 years ago
I used to make comments about gay people, as well, until I found out my daughter was gay. I was very embarrassed and felt like a lover. Never did I make another derogatory remark about gay people. Not even in my head.
#23
I recorded Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz over my sister's high school graduation video.
It's been about 18 years, but I still feel bad.
Junebugjump! 5 years ago
I’m laughing. No one will EVER look at a high school graduation. I can’t even remember mine... So long ago and BORING!
Craig Silberman 5 years ago (edited)
shows you how often they watch the sister's graduation video
Clever Dog 5 years ago
after 18 years if she hasn't noticed its not important, also video degrades so I wouldn't worry about it.
Jeff Requier 5 years ago
Obviously no one cares, No One has watched her video the entire time! Otherwise there would be questions like "Who taped over your sisters HS grad with this shitty Anime?"
#24
I’ve read or written fan fiction since I was 16 years old. I have no idea what they thought I was laughing at on my laptop for the last ten years but I’m glad they didn’t know the truth. Some of it is preeeeetty explicit.
InkedDreams 5 years ago
i hide this from most people, especially since i used to write m/m fanfictions
Ilona Orlova 5 years ago
Yeah, I started writing an explicit fanfic for How to Train Your Dragon on Wattpad when I was 12. I just told my mom I was writing a story for myself on Google Docs and not publishing it anywhere.
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
Wikipedia: "Fan fiction or fanfiction (also abbreviated to fan fic, fanfic, fic or ff) is fictional writing written by fans, commonly of an existing work of fiction. The author uses copyrighted characters, settings, or other intellectual properties from the original creator(s) as a basis for their writing. Fan fiction ranges from a couple of sentences to an entire novel, and fans can both keep the creator's characters and settings and/or add their own. It is a form of fan labor. Fan fiction can be based on any fictional (and sometimes non-fictional) subject" I feel old.
#25
I was a high functioning depressed alcoholic for my whole college life.
#26
When I was at Walmart with my mom, and I stole 2 of those big cartons full of Pokemon Cards. Took the cards and stuffed them in my backpocket. I planned the whole robbery a week before. I was the best robber at 9.
I'm lay sheep in China 5 years ago
Once me,my mum and Grandma was in a shop and they're selecting Jewelry for themselves while I was holding a Headpiece. It was quite expensive and that exactly moment Electricity goes off. We're wait for few minutes before Electricity came after shopping on the way to our house my mommy Was mad at me for returning that Headpiece to Shop staff anyway Guys don't let your kids teach to steal anything ;)
Julius Martin 5 years ago
I used to steal candy from stores and stuff, i got caught one day because my dad found my stash which at the time had about 20 boxes of assorted candy
Iris Wolfie (づ ◕‿◕ )づ 5 years ago
When I was 7, I was visiting family in Illinois. I saw a little chocolate snowman at this chocolate museum gift shop. I took it and ate it. I didn't know I had to PAY for it! I thought it was a freebie!
Ly Sheet 1 year ago
Lmao someone did this at a Walmart I went to. Stole the cards and left the pack in the xmas section I was in. But they left one card behind, the promo card. So I was like we'll walmart will just throw it away and took it. I felt so nervous I'd get caught. This was like...3 years ago at like 28. I would not make a good thief lol
Torchicachu 5 years ago
THIS PICTURE HAS THE SET EX DEOXYS just look up how expensive it is now im freaking out
#27
I actually DID know why my laptop wasn't working. I spilt a fair bit of Jack Daniel's on it.
Nagawa (Cofa) Kishiki 5 years ago
So, your laptop was drunk. Just give it a night to sober up.
Joey Marlin 5 years ago
My spouse knocked a drink on his... third attempt to be fixed currently taking place.
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Hannah Alexandra 5 years ago
A similar thing happened to me, but I said that I'd spilt a glass of wine over the keyboard, but actually it was an entire bottle of whiskey...
Iris Wolfie (づ ◕‿◕ )づ 5 years ago
This is kinda funny but poor laptop! It must be a lightweight.
#28
My mum doesn't know I've been arrested twice, one time with my dad.
zims 5 years ago
Given all the ridiculous things you can be arrested for, possibly not.
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago (edited)
Over 30% of the US citizens have a criminal record. Seeing how quick the US police is in arresting people for the most ridiculous offences, it's quite a miracle that that number isn't higher.
Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago
This is weird! Arrested with the dad, and mom have no idea? C'mon man!
Hugh Cookson 5 years ago
Don't worry about it - I still haven't told my brother that his son (my nephew) was arrested in Belgium (I'm UK based)in 1995 along with a friend of his for fighting after a bit of banter got out of hand and his one allowed phone call was to me to ask for help, him and his friend were 19 at the time. Cost me £300 to bail him out, that I had to pay in person, which meant me driving to a port in the UK then take a ferry to Belgium, drive to Antwerp, post the bail then drive him and his mate back to the UK, then to their respective homes - had to take 2 days off as a Head Chef in a busy hotel, plus the other costs came to about £1000 ; my nephew pleaded that I wouldn't tell his Dad which I agreed to as at the time my brother was heading up the military hierarchy fast and my nephew was on course for a good degree which would have been jeopardised ; my brother has just retired as a senior diplomat and my nephew is now an international headhunter specialising in the banking sector ......
Dilly Millandry 5 years ago
Yes, but wouldn't you actually have to actively look? Why would anyone do that if they don't suspect anything has happened.
Load More Replies... #29
I have an eating disorder. I’ve had one since I was 11, and I even went to the hospital for it. They still don’t know.
Jo Morris 5 years ago
When you were 11 (a child) your parents/family don't know why you went to hospital?
Zenozenobee 5 years ago
The way I understand it, he/she has an eating disorder since 11 but wasn't hospitalised before being adult/autonomous. You don't reach the point to physically need an hospitalization in one week.
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Mr. Bean 5 years ago
Please add a Trigger Warning for the eating disorder. Many survivors don't want to relive the moment or think about it. Thank you!
Lyra Fortune 5 years ago
Whoever the hell downvoted rhis comment, get a grip. This a valid ans very serious point. I my self am going through recovery and things like this DO and WILL trigger me. And really, id rather not, at age 14, be going back to hospital in case my heart stops beating while I sleep.
Load More Replies... CatWoman312 5 years ago
If you’ve had one since 11 and they didn’t do anything then I’m afraid they just don’t care
Joey Marlin 5 years ago
Possibly. Or the person could be a master at covering it up - they often are.
Load More Replies... #30
I know that my mom’s cheating on my dad. He doesn’t know it’s happening (to my knowledge) and she doesn’t know that I know.
zims 5 years ago
Or make it worse, especially if they're still living at home
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Sarina Greenhaven 5 years ago
Boy, that's really rough... Try taking a relaxing bath or staying over at a friend's house. That might help relieve some stress
CatWoman312 5 years ago
You should talk to her. You’re basically allowing it to happen at this point
Danael Gabalova 5 years ago
Why should he/she tell? It is their responsibility. If healthy child then will leave and live own life. Parents can survive this or not. If he/she tells he/she will feel responsible for the divorce for the rest of the life.
Pervinca 5 years ago
The cheater is the responsible. I think that having to deal with this secret is worse
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Zenozenobee 5 years ago
I would say, tell your mother you know . She should be the one to be honnest, it's not the kid responsaility.
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#31
That I don't love them. I care about them in the way I care for a hurt stranger but I won't be crying when they die except for over the stress of handling the funeral and finding a place for their kid and animals to live.
IlovemydogShilo 5 years ago
felt that way about my Dad. I even went as far as to write and write the eulogy for his funeral. But I have never missed him or will I ever. We never got along and all through my teens he treated me like crap. I even tried to kill myself just to get away from him. I have always (for my mother's sake pretended that I loved him and I miss him but it's all lies.
Anna McHugh 5 years ago
I think that's fine. They're your parents - they brought YOU into the world so they owe you, not vice versa. Life's actually not a gift but an imposition a lot of the time. If they've been such a problem that their kid has no relationship with them, that says a lot about them. You're just protecting yourself and being honest.
M. Sabbe 5 years ago
had the same thing with my mother last thing she asked when i moved out was not to change my adress so she wouldnt lose childsupport she died last year and it was a hassle but mostly a lot of paperwork to deny the inheritance. my daughter will never know about her because she has an amazing step grandmother
Everybody Say Love! 5 years ago
I feel the same way about my mother. She has always been unkind to me. No child should have to endure their parent's inadequacy to raise their children and put them in situations that cause harm, but there you go, some people are awful. The thing that hurts the most is now I am an adult, able to stick up for myself and confront her when she acts like her own version of a petulant child, she has never claimed responsibility, nor apologised for her actions and always plays the victim. She asked me to sing at her funeral, I said yes to appease her......I'm not even sure i'll attend.
Shelli PL 5 years ago
Agreed. It’s an open wound and you realize that what you really hurt for is what you never had, not what you had and lost.
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Sandra Charlot 5 years ago
Same here. My parents never showed any kind of affection to me, never told me they were proud of me, only got a negative remarks and humiliation. Since I was 8, I struggle with depression, anxiety, agoraphobia and selfharming ... Took me 5 years of therapy to understand that I'm allowed to not giving my parents what they never gave to me.
Patrick McKemie 5 years ago
I'm pretty sure my parents saw me as an obligation and at times, a burden. It's not that they didn't love me, they just didn't particular care for me and only took care of what the neighbors could see. (I was fed, clothed and they never hit me in the face)
Everybody Say Love! 5 years ago
Everything is relative. I'm sure you had angels for parents, other children are not so lucky. Stop judging people based on your standards of living, everyone is different.
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#33
I lived with my girlfriend / fiancé for ~1.5 years in a house ~45 minutes from where my parents lived prior to us being married. They are very conservative and would have likely not attended the wedding had they known.
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
Me and my friends* are planning to get married straight out of Highschool, and then get a divorce, so we won't be required to live on campus grounds. We are planning to live together in a house lol. (* several of us are going to pair up and get divorced. Pairs are being decided by what college we want to go to. Ex. If we have 4 friends in a group, and Herbert and Alicia are planning on going to XX and Jally and Soe are planning on going to YY, then Herbert and Alicia are going to get married, and Sally and Joe are going to get married, then they divorce. Poof, they're no longer required to stay on campus together, so all 4 of us rent/buy our own house to live in together. )
#34
That I genuinely have no desire to have a relationship with them. If it wasn’t for the wife planning dinners with my mother I would have no relationship at all. Father left in my teenage years and is a pathological liar, so I’m better off without him too.
Everybody Say Love! 5 years ago (edited)
@Brigs - relativity, my friend. My mother didn't 'bring me up', she dragged me through the mud and brought me down. Not everyone's story is the same, and shame on you for acting all high and mighty, like your ideals are some how better. You haven't the slightest idea of anyone's home life and should stop judging based on your own personal experiences.
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
@Brigs, I have massive appreciation for my mother. My father, were he alive, would be avoided like the plague he was. Soooo.... if you don't know, don't judge.
Mimi777 5 years ago
@Brigs just because someone is family or even a parent doesn’t mean they can’t be toxic and bad for you. You’re allowed to cut people out of your life if all they do I bring you down and hurt you. Some people have really shitty parents and are probably better off without them in their life. You don’t know their life.
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
@Brigs... If your mother "brought you up" by abusing you, hitting you, neglecting you, and hurting you to the point you became suicidal, would you still love her? If she GENUINELY HATED YOU, and tried to get you sent away/killed several times, would you still love her? If she yelled at you, screamed at you, to not love her because you're a burden on her, would you still love her? Would you still pursue a relationship with her? If she cheated and stole, would you still respect her? If she lied to and manipulated you for her gain, would you still trust her? Some people don't get to grow up with love and trust and understanding. Some people get to grow up with pain and distrust and hurt. With no one to love or trust or appreciate them. If something was attached to you and physically poisoning you, would you love it and thank it for staying attached to you, or would you cut it off so you can live on and be happy? Hopefully not the first option. That is the case with toxic people. They hurt
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
and abuse you, and if left uncut, they will kill you. You need to cut out toxic people so that you can live for the people that actually love, support, respect, appreciate, and trust you, because if you don't the people who actually care will be left hurt and confused. Don't let the good people die. The toxic people will continue to move on and thrive, but the healthy people will shrivel and die.
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#35
My depression and the fact I nearly failed out of first year because I couldn't handle university.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
@Hoi: People go to university when they are 18, not 12. In most countries kids do not decide which education they will follow. They get some professional advice on which educations are most suited for them. The parents and the child make their decisions bases on that advice.
#36
I was a phone sex operator in University. I told everyone I took phone orders for The Bay (department store in Canada). One day my dad asked me if they were hiring. Nope. We were not.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Phone sex operator is just a girl who has erotic conversations with strangers on the phone. Did you never hear the ads? "Get in contact with an excited woman now. Call 911!!.
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#37
I was accused of rape when I was 17 (legally an adult in Texas so they didn’t have to tell them) and a detective took my phone for the school day to verify the texts proving the encounter was consensual were real. Really weird time in my life, having to deal with the fallout at school and not telling them the truth.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
Sorry this happened to you. It’s upsetting women lie about rape, it makes real victims unbelievable
Shmoopaloop 5 years ago
I would get accused of raping my best friend because we would hang out after school. I was the one of the uglier kids in school so I can see why they thought this.
Patrick McKemie 5 years ago (edited)
The messages below are how the trolls work. Don't bite on any of this
JustAWeirdoGirlChild 5 years ago
my cousin got accused of rape but he's getting out of prison soon
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Like to hear how this ended and if the accusing person got sent to jail.
#38
That I’m diagnosed bipolar.
#39
How much I cry. They have too much to deal with and I've learned to handle it on my own and get back to my normal smiley self.
#40
The fact that I work out, hard and heavy.
My Mom thinks that muscles on girls are gross, and for the years that she knew I worked out she treated me like I'm gross too. It was heartbreaking for me. So now I pretend that I lost interest in lifting weights and I'm much happier this way. (the true fact is that I gave it up for 2 months and couldn't stand life without it) It's sad that I can't keep my Mom in the loop of my most loved passion, but I've accepted it :)
Anna McHugh 5 years ago
I lift weights and love it. I'm so sorry to hear that your mom is so down on what's a really great release and an achievement for a lot of women. Sounds like she has major body issues. Mothers like that should be pitied.
Everybody Say Love! 5 years ago
I love to lift. I hated to exercise, then I picked up a barbell and never looked back.
Load More Replies... BlackestDawn 5 years ago
This is so sad. We really need to get rid of the toxic gender stereotypes asap, other stereotypes can go as well but not as important to get rid of immediately.
Louloubelle 5 years ago
Wow. I can't imagine. I'd be so proud of my daughter. Staying fit is healthy, having a passion is healthy, and showing that women can do anything is definitely healthy.
#41
Got an abortion last year.
Oskar vanZandt 5 years ago
Don't think parents need to know this... it's the daughter's body, her decision.
StealTheFruit 5 years ago
Could be a trans man or nonbinary person. :O Either way, yeah, their body, their choice. The parents don't get to know. :>
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Rah Soft 5 years ago
maybe its not about the abortion, but rather why or circumstances that led up to it. It would be a hard subject to discuss ( if you needed to , assuming you are not living with your parents). But some people can be D**ks about it( just look at some of the reactionary comments on here)
Dorothy Parker 5 years ago
I hope you had friends in your corner then. If not, consider counseling if it bothers you. I'm pro-choice, not anti-choice but it can still feel bad.
Starbelly Eleven 5 years ago
They also tend to include having a fulfilling life at the right time.
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Malakai 5 years ago
Sh*t happens, dude. She could've been raped, the condom could've broken, birth control could've failed, or maybe she WAS ready but circumstances changed, etc--don't be a judgmental d**k
Load More Replies... #42
When I was in the 7th grade I started to get into [adult content] and my favorite, for some reason, was guy on guy stuff even though I’m a girl. Anyways, I didn’t know how anything but YouTube worked so I ended up downloading like 3 gay [adult] videos on my phone and I had an Android so when I deleted the videos the download history was still in my phone. For some reason my mom took my phone and went through it and sat me down and asked me about the [videos] she found on it. But for some more context I had to keep my phone in the living room at night and could only have it during the day. Now I’m not proud of this but I’m a good liar. But in this situation I didn’t have to do much lying because as soon as I started crying and saying I didn’t do it she immediately believed me and blamed it on my step-dad, saying that she had a suspicion that he was gay through their whole relationship and all that. After that she never confronted him and just continued to stay with him even though she thought he was gay and that’s when I realized my mom was a gold-digger.
Isaiah Edwards 5 years ago
It's normal to like opposite gender gay stuff. I think almost everybody does.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
I mean many guys get off by watching two women so I don’t see how the reverse could be perceived as strange
Sheanna Caban 5 years ago
That twist ending!... "And that's when I realized my mom was a gold-digger." Didn't see that one coming.
NMN 5 years ago
I don't like it, the same I don't like girl on girl, but I won't try to push what I think into others. What you like is what YOU like, don't push it, I bet there are things you like that others might find gross (including plain straight sex, I've met ppl that find that gross)
Load More Replies... #43
I was heavily addicted to morphine for my entire time at university.
Sophia Graubart 5 years ago
sorry everyone is donevoting your comment. I am pretty sure by the capitals there is a book called "Junky", so sorry you are being treated unfairly
Load More Replies... #44
My mom does not really know she's the reason my dental health is [screwed] from stress induced teeth grinding... which she knew about and did nothing about it. Nor does she know she's a major reason as to why I have notable social anxiety and other psychological problems. She's gonna find out sooner or later I am sure. I do not live with her anymore for a reason.
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
It's sad when parents fail to see that they are really messing up their kid. Worst part is that even if 100 people told them that they were very bad in parenting, they would deny it. "You shall not destroy my delusions of perfect parenting, not even when all my kids suffer from PTSD due to it."
Raine Soo 5 years ago
My mother was a disciple of tough love. I wasn't a rebellious kid, but she always wondered why I wasn't like her friends' children, who confided in their moms about everything. As far as she was concerned, I had too many secrets. I didn't have any secrets, My mother just assumed the worst of every situation. She thought that she would have control if she nagged me into submission. The only thing it fostered was resentment on my part.
Luisa Vasconcelos 5 years ago
I hope my kids can always be able to tell me how they really feel. Unfortunately be a parent is not teached any ware and it's really learning long the way and making mistakes. I'm happy you are doing better now.
Nancy Jeckells 5 years ago
Glad you got away. Hope you get some good help. I have anxiety and depression and getting the right treatment is key. Good luck.
#45
Parents are (and raised me to be) staunch Mormon. (For those unfamiliar, Mormons believe their church is the only true church on Earth.)
I don't believe it's true. They think I still go, but it's infrequent at best.
స్టీఫెన్ ఆండ్రూ 5 years ago
Some religions take that idea more seriously than others...
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GirlFriday 5 years ago
I feel for this person. My parents were LDS when I was growing up. I never did buy into it and while they are accepting of my being an apathiest now, they weren't then. The did leave the church when my brother came out and they bishop told them to disown my brother.
Victoria 5 years ago
At least they left the church, a coworker disowned his son.....
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JustSomeKid 5 years ago
I was Mormon up until 5 months ago, I realized how toxic it was to me and my family and I decided I wasn't going back.
#46
That I used to sneak out of the house from our second story bathroom window to go nightclubbing with my friends after my parents went to bed.
Nancy Jeckells 5 years ago
I used to come home drunk when I was 18 on a Saturday night and still living at home. Would go to my mom's room and have a chat with her, all the while hanging onto the door frame for dear life. Always thought my acting was so good, she didn't know. She knew (she told me years later and we laughed about it!)
Leo Domitrix 5 years ago
Yeah, my mom knew... She just raised her eyebrows and gave me The Mom Look, and we all pretended it was okay.
#47
I sometimes grab lunch or dinner on the way home from class, and I don't tell them. If I did, I'd probably get yelled at for "wasting money when we have perfectly good food at home." My mom's cooking is great but...... sometimes I just want to grab some pizza.
Recently she's been on a some obscure health diet plan that she's forcing everyone through, but it's a bit ridiculous.
StealTheFruit 5 years ago
Here's a friendly comment so the first comment isn't the downvoted one!
#48
When I was around 14 I overheard my parents arguing. My mom was yelling at my dad about some [adult] searches on the computer. It was really me that was going on the computer in their room and watching [it]. He kept denying it and she kept calling him a liar. He slept in the guest bedroom for a month after that fight.
Brigs 5 years ago
You should have owned up, your Mom no longer trusts your Father because of it
LuckyL 5 years ago
When he's 14? Which 14 year old would admit to his parents that he watched porn?
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Siya Patel 2 years ago
I mean @lara , the author was 14 and dumb at the time. Tell me, what teen would want to own up to watching porn ?
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
And that's why you create separate accounts on your computer if there are multiple users.
#49
I got someone pregnant and I'm pretty sure she kept the baby and didn't tell me.
Starbelly Eleven 5 years ago
Maybe he doesn't want to be a father. If he asks her, then the cat is out of the bag. If he doesn't know, he doesn't know and can't be blamed for not providing child support.
Load More Replies... CatWoman312 5 years ago
There’s probably a reason why for that. My cousin got someone pregnant she kept it and never told him although it’s his splitting image. The reason? He’s a drunk, has no job, and still lives with his mom.
#50
My dad doesn't know that I was suspended due to grades for a semester in college.
Mademoiselle Mirage 5 years ago
Wait! So.. College actually suspend people that have bad grades? But then they can't work to ameliorate them..?!
#51
That I'm trans and bi.
My mother passed away before I could come out to her and I really don't know if my father will care about me more then his political beliefs.
KombatBunni 5 years ago
Oh honey that’s so sad :( I sincerely hope you find someone who loves you for who you are *hug*
Sheanna Caban 5 years ago
Lookit, you just come to our house for holidays if that happens. You're loved.
#52
I snorted my Ritalin prescription for 7 years before I finally started taking it normally again. I was in so deep and they never even knew.
lara 5 years ago
You need to mention this to your physician. This could have very bad consequences and I don't care what someone "on the street" told you.
Potato 5 years ago
My sinuses became inflamed just reading that confession.
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#53
Small secret: Back in high school days, I stole $20 out of my mom's wallet, and then concocted a complicated but realistic lie to keep it. Big secret: I'm an atheist. I'm glad they have a big community of people who love them at their church, and it's nice that some of those people knew me when I was small, but I have no love for their shared belief system. I'm angry that they wanted me to believe in it, too, and when I said I didn't, they lashed out at me in very cruel ways.
*sigh*, The Yellow Teletubby 5 years ago
"back in highschool days..." learn how to read -_-
Load More Replies... #54
My parents don't know that I'm highly involved in the BDSM community in my city. I even attend a bar at our local fetish club a couple times a month. My fiancé and I are super vanilla passing. Which is lucky. They're happier not knowing.
kjorn 5 years ago
why would you told your parent you are into BDSM? i wouldn't either if i was into that
RATSMACKER 5 years ago
yeah that’s not a secret, just something a parent wouldn’t need to know?
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
I don't think that any parent is waiting to hear from their children what sexual positions they prefer, what sex-games they are playing or if their son or daughter sucks in oral sex.
Starbelly Eleven 5 years ago
It means they don't wear leather gimp suits and ball gags in public, just like every other person on Earth and in the BDSM community. It's a stupid comment.
Load More Replies... #55
I used to watch southpark when they thought I was sleeping.
#56
Stole money for weed and regret it to this day. My lazy [arse] should've just gotten a job instead.
#57
I smashed a supermarket window.
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What do you think ?
lenka 5 years ago
So many people who are afraid to be themselves. So much pain and grief. I hope you all find your peace and place in life xoxox
S. 5 years ago
Thank you for your kind words. I wish the same for you too!
Load More Replies... KombatBunni 5 years ago (edited)
That I’ve been homeless more times than I care to count and got sick to death of my mother and step dad saying oh you’ll find somewhere soon..for the last 15 years. Yet not lifting a finger to help and only giving me useless advice.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
I’m so sorry you have parents like that. You’re a supposed to be a parent for life. Being an adult doesn’t stop the necessity of being one.
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Jane Doe 5 years ago
I haven’t spoken to my parents or siblings for 7 years & I regret nothing. Cut out toxicity & racists from your life
Aunt Messy 5 years ago
I not only didn't see my father, I didn't talk to him even on the phone from 1981 until he died in 1997. I took endless harassment from my mother about it, but I have no regrets. I decided afterwards that she really WAS as toxic as he was (she stood by and let him beat me like a rented mule) and cut her off too. ///..../// Freedom.
Load More Replies... CatWoman312 5 years ago
I’ve hidden so many things from my parents, even now and I’m in my 30s. They’re really judgmental and too expressive of their disappointment. I wish they would just let me be myself
Sardonic Scribe 5 years ago
I hid the fact that I was sexually abused by my cousin from the ages of 5 - 14 for over 30 years. When I finally had the courage to tell my Mom & brother, my brother was incredibly angry... my Mom... I don't know if she doesn't believe me, or doesn't care, but she never mentions anything & continues to give me updates on his life, wife & kids. That hurts a lot.
Ann Rii 5 years ago
I'm so sorry. Your mom should not be reminding you of your molester.
Load More Replies... CamlikesCookies 5 years ago
That I am confused about my sexual orientation. Also that I went from poking myself with a tack to small cuts. I can relate to a lot of these posts.
Canadian in Cornwall 5 years ago
Can you talk to someone, maybe a professional? You are suffering and that is so sad. Hope you will be okay.
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Robbie 5 years ago
What makes me uncomfortable is that I can relate to a lot of this, I'm transgender, and I have depression but haven't told anyone other than my close non-binary friend
jevais 5 years ago
Robbie I keep on repeating myself, it's your life and nobody else. You are very brave for having become the person you wanted to be deep down. It took much courage and pain to have gone through this with out the support of your your family. I wish all the best for you.
Load More Replies... Joanne Haywood 5 years ago
I didn’t want all my tea so threw a whole chicken breast on the floor for the cats to deal with it. I was afraid of mum's reaction if I said I didn’t want it. Then I heard my dad coming back downstairs, grabbed the chicken off the cats (angry) gave it a quick wipe just in time for him to open the door. I asked him if he wanted the chicken - he readily accepted it not knowing what had just happened to it. What’s really sad about this is that I was in my early thirties and still lived at home, and scared of incurring mums wrath!
TheDemonUnderYourBed 5 years ago
Ok, I feel the need to add on to this thread. I nearly commit suicide last week because I've been stressed out about my grades, my not having enough money, my fake friends, COVID, basketball, work, and the fact that my boyfriend cheated on me. He made me feel so special and then when I dumped him he said "That's fine, I don't really care. I was just dating you for clout and because I felt bad that no one else would date you anyway." The only reason I didn't is because my mom pulled into the driveway as I was about to slit my throat.
ArhomR 5 years ago
TheDemonUnderYourBed I’m so glad your mom came home in time. The guy is a complete louse! Keep the friends you trust. See an advisor about your grades. See if your employer has some wiggle room for your hours: more of them or less. Some people are just shite and should be punted to the curb. Breathe deeply often, proven stress reliever. Life can feel overwhelming for sooo many. You are not alone. Focus on one thing at a time and it might not all be easy, but you will grow and become more adept at caring for yourself. Best wishes. You can do this!
Load More Replies... lenka 5 years ago
So many people who are afraid to be themselves. So much pain and grief. I hope you all find your peace and place in life xoxox
S. 5 years ago
Thank you for your kind words. I wish the same for you too!
Load More Replies... KombatBunni 5 years ago (edited)
That I’ve been homeless more times than I care to count and got sick to death of my mother and step dad saying oh you’ll find somewhere soon..for the last 15 years. Yet not lifting a finger to help and only giving me useless advice.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
I’m so sorry you have parents like that. You’re a supposed to be a parent for life. Being an adult doesn’t stop the necessity of being one.
Load More Replies... Jane Doe 5 years ago
I haven’t spoken to my parents or siblings for 7 years & I regret nothing. Cut out toxicity & racists from your life
Aunt Messy 5 years ago
I not only didn't see my father, I didn't talk to him even on the phone from 1981 until he died in 1997. I took endless harassment from my mother about it, but I have no regrets. I decided afterwards that she really WAS as toxic as he was (she stood by and let him beat me like a rented mule) and cut her off too. ///..../// Freedom.
Load More Replies... CatWoman312 5 years ago
I’ve hidden so many things from my parents, even now and I’m in my 30s. They’re really judgmental and too expressive of their disappointment. I wish they would just let me be myself
Sardonic Scribe 5 years ago
I hid the fact that I was sexually abused by my cousin from the ages of 5 - 14 for over 30 years. When I finally had the courage to tell my Mom & brother, my brother was incredibly angry... my Mom... I don't know if she doesn't believe me, or doesn't care, but she never mentions anything & continues to give me updates on his life, wife & kids. That hurts a lot.
Ann Rii 5 years ago
I'm so sorry. Your mom should not be reminding you of your molester.
Load More Replies... CamlikesCookies 5 years ago
That I am confused about my sexual orientation. Also that I went from poking myself with a tack to small cuts. I can relate to a lot of these posts.
Canadian in Cornwall 5 years ago
Can you talk to someone, maybe a professional? You are suffering and that is so sad. Hope you will be okay.
Load More Replies... Robbie 5 years ago
What makes me uncomfortable is that I can relate to a lot of this, I'm transgender, and I have depression but haven't told anyone other than my close non-binary friend
jevais 5 years ago
Robbie I keep on repeating myself, it's your life and nobody else. You are very brave for having become the person you wanted to be deep down. It took much courage and pain to have gone through this with out the support of your your family. I wish all the best for you.
Load More Replies... Joanne Haywood 5 years ago
I didn’t want all my tea so threw a whole chicken breast on the floor for the cats to deal with it. I was afraid of mum's reaction if I said I didn’t want it. Then I heard my dad coming back downstairs, grabbed the chicken off the cats (angry) gave it a quick wipe just in time for him to open the door. I asked him if he wanted the chicken - he readily accepted it not knowing what had just happened to it. What’s really sad about this is that I was in my early thirties and still lived at home, and scared of incurring mums wrath!
TheDemonUnderYourBed 5 years ago
Ok, I feel the need to add on to this thread. I nearly commit suicide last week because I've been stressed out about my grades, my not having enough money, my fake friends, COVID, basketball, work, and the fact that my boyfriend cheated on me. He made me feel so special and then when I dumped him he said "That's fine, I don't really care. I was just dating you for clout and because I felt bad that no one else would date you anyway." The only reason I didn't is because my mom pulled into the driveway as I was about to slit my throat.
ArhomR 5 years ago
TheDemonUnderYourBed I’m so glad your mom came home in time. The guy is a complete louse! Keep the friends you trust. See an advisor about your grades. See if your employer has some wiggle room for your hours: more of them or less. Some people are just shite and should be punted to the curb. Breathe deeply often, proven stress reliever. Life can feel overwhelming for sooo many. You are not alone. Focus on one thing at a time and it might not all be easy, but you will grow and become more adept at caring for yourself. Best wishes. You can do this!
Load More Replies...
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