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“What My Grandpa Did To Me”: 45 Secrets That People Swear They’ll Never Tell Their Parents
Interview With Expert
Many of us master the art of keeping secrets from our parents at a very young age. No, I didn’t steal a cookie from the cookie jar. And I have no idea how the floor got sticky over there, it definitely wasn’t me! As we grow older, our relationships with our parents often grow as well, but that doesn’t mean that we start being completely honest with them.
Reddit users have been spilling secrets online that they’ll never tell Mom or Dad, so we’ve gathered some of the juiciest ones below. From wholesome little white lies to information that could ruin relationships, enjoy reading through these replies, and keep reading to find a conversation with Tori Finnegan, LCSW from Modern Therapy!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
The "stray cat" I found and begged to keep as a teenage belonged to a friend. Her parents were hurting it (step dad would kick it across the room and we found it trying to eat soap because the mom refused to buy cat food in hopes it would live off mice in the basement) and my friend and I pretended the cat escaped but took it to my house.
Tamra 1 year ago
I never trust a person who hurts an animal. If there's something inside you that is okay with causing pain and terror to the most vulnerable and innocent, then there is something fundamentally WRONG with you.
Georgie Montague 1 year ago
Thank you OP for saving this cat's life. No animal - or child - deserves to be mistreated.
Sue Denham 1 year ago
I have to wonder how the parents were treating their child. Glad the friend loved the cat enough to give it away.
Mrs. Dearly Regret 1 year ago
Good job! But why is that a secret worth keeping? Spread the news, animals life is precious as well!
SilverSkyCloud 1 year ago (edited)
theft, pets are property, but perhaps recording them mistreating the cat and plastering it all over would let people see what pieces of scum they really were
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DC 1 year ago
Absolutely! This is the best so far ... well, cats get me every time. Life just sucks without them, but they're basically helpless against evil humans. Wonder how long that friend stayed at those AH's house, but I guess, something happened around her 18th. Leave, block, no contact? Would be my solution.
rorschach-penguin 1 year ago
I am literally crying at such a specific example of someone treating a cat like that.
RELATED:
#2
Me and my sister emailed the adoption agency that mum was applying through to foster a child, telling them how she treated us as kids, resulting in her being denied
She’d k**l us if she found out but definitely saved some kid so don’t regret it.
Surenu 1 year ago
Advertisers don't want their products associated with "bad" words. I've seen the word "rude" censored on more than one occasion. If only I didn't use an adblocker, then I'd know which companies to boycott over this...
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Tess Butler 1 year ago
I did that too. Told them she couldnt even raise her own kids now she wants to foster for the money.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
I'm so sorry for what the OP went through but incredibly proud of them and their sister for doing this and saving others ❤️
#3
That in middle school I told them I hated dance after 3 classes when I loved it but knew that we couldn’t afford it. They were trying to pick up extra factory shifts to make it work and it was gutting to see them k**l their body for a small hobby. It’s not their fault. I ended up spending a lot of time outside playing and eventually independently applied for financial aid to join a sport in high school.
tine 1 year ago
I relate. I wanted to join marching band in high school, but my dad’s job was hit bad by the recession and my mom was working 2 jobs. Broke, but not broke enough for any aid. I convinced them that I didn’t want to join and made up excuses since there was no way I would feel ok with them spending that much money on me.
The Darkest Timeline 1 year ago
That’s too bad. Almost all programs will waive fees or provide fundraising opportunities for those who can’t pay. You missed out on a great experience.
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Kristy Nelson 1 year ago
Sweet, but sad that not all kids have the same opportunities without such sacrifice.
Jayjay 1 year ago
You not only took responsibility, but you managed to bring it into a positive light for yourself, even as young as you were. Chapeau!
Jane Hower 1 year ago
My son told me he was opting for a Military School rather than college so that it would be free and make it easier for me to decide if I wanted to stay married or get a divorce. WOW, to have that compassion and wisedom at 17.
To gain more insight on the topic of keeping secrets from our parents, we reached out to Tori Finnegan, LCSW from Modern Therapy. Tori was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and discuss how common it is to hold onto secrets.
"Keeping secrets can be healthy, and yes, everyone keeps some secrets. For many humans, 'keeping secrets' is synonymous with 'not sharing everything,'" she explained. "By not sharing every thought, word, and action with every person, we are all inherently keeping secrets from someone."
"What is important is evaluating what you are comfortable with sharing with others and what you would like to be known. We all have boundaries, and maintaining these emotional boundaries (such as not sharing certain information about ourselves), can be labeled as keeping secrets," the expert added.
#4
My mom hooked sometimes when we didn't have enough money. My parents got divorced when I was 3 and then got remarried when I was 10. After they got divorced , dad got sent overseas for 3 years and we moved back to my mother's home town. This was in the early 70's and we lived in section 8 apartments and my older brother's father from her previous marriage didn't pay any child support, my dad paid as much child support as he could afford, but before Reagan a Senior Airman didn't make anywhere near enough to support the three of us living apart from him. Even when they were together he had to work a part time job just to make ends meet. So while they remained divorced we had very little money and sometimes by the last week of the month the cupboards would be bare unless mom was able to "do some sewing for a friend of hers." She also would go out on a Friday night and leave us withe my aunt and then we would go grocery shopping the next day despite being told two days before that we didn't have enough money to go shopping. I was too young to know what was actually going on at the time but when I was in my early twenties, I finally put two and two together and realized that she had been part time hooking to make ends meet. I know my dad didn't know about it and I never let my mom know that I knew what she had to do for us.
Lotekguy 1 year ago
Including doing her best to keep the kids from knowing what she had to do.
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Shawna Reich 1 year ago
maybe it's best you dont tell her you know, she may feel so ashamed but she took care of you the best way she could...she deserves so much
#5
How far we went on those bikes.
Wubedhheij 1 year ago (edited)
I wish I has that opportunity, now I can't go anywhere without having to tell my parents where I am at after 5 minutes.
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Xenia Harley 1 year ago
When I was young, I walked to a small convenience store that was some distance away, with my sister and friend. My mother knew, and her mother too. I don't think I was older than 7-8. We had to walk on a busy road too. Times were just different, and we definitely did not have helicopter parents.
tw 72 1 year ago
And, especially in a smaller town, we all lived by "it takes a village" - parents of other kids, people from church, others from the neighborhood would likely contact our parents if we got too far out of line.
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LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
Or where exactly I went and what i put that bike through.... sometimes I can't believe I survived my childhood. Drove off a cliff once, rolled off and tried again since I didn't land right. Now if I simply fall down, that's the end of me.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 1 year ago
Oh, the shenanigans we got up to. We were in constant danger, and we loved it.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
Well your parents would have known how far they went on their bikes, so I bet they weren't far wrong
Andrew Keir 1 year ago
but maybe they didn't realise that their little babies are teens now and have the urge to explore?
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Calvin Smelliott 1 year ago
My mom would come back from the grave to spank me if she knew what we did and where we went on our bikes.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
My mom watched me like a hawk. Wasn't allowed past the block until a certain age. At least by Grade 5 I was allowed more freedom. Btw, my mom's a Boomer. A very timid, over-cautious Boomer.
#6
Well,they're both gone so I can say it now. I hated the way I was forced to look after them. Then on top of that I was bullied and teased and tortured at school and they didn't care about that. As long as I was there to do everything that's all they cared about. I felt unloved. Then after I grew up my mom decided she just wasn't gonna do anything anymore and she didn't. I HATED ALL OF THAT. THEY WERE THE PARENTS NOT ME. Then they explained it by saying that that's the way it is and everyone does this. Now I have a brother and a sister who are on disability. In the future I won't be doing what I did before. Sorry for the rant but I had to get that out.
Tamra 1 year ago
There are still so many parents who solidly believe that kids exist to care for them as they age or sicken. My entire family viewed me as nothing but a resource, constantly asking for money, a place to live, or moral support, while offering absolutely no interest in me as a human being. Don't do this to your kids, people.
Caitlin M. Maguire 1 year ago
My dad's the first part of your sentence. He's still fully "there" so to speak, he just won't do a thing. Somehow he expects me to take care of my mother ALONE. Yeeaah, no.
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Lew k 1 year ago
I just got done cleaning out a house I’ve been letting my siblings stay in for the last 2 years. It’s wrecked. It’s going to cost me thousands to get it back in shape to rent out or sell. I’ve been carrying my siblings for years and all it’s bred it resentment. Help your siblings out once. If they don’t take the help and work to get on their own feet don’t do it again. The saddest part is now that I’m kicking them out they aren’t going to fix anything they are just going to go mooch off our mom until she’s fed up.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
My bf cares for his parents and minds the home full time. He doesn't get out like he's supposed to. There was supposed to be a social worker and respite worker coming in to help once a week so he can get out and do what he wants, but either his mom or his lazy sister, or both, refuse to allow anyone else in the house. (Yet, friends, partners, neighbours and the healthcare workers are allowed over.). He's not going to toss them into a care home, knowing the abuses and neglect going on. He does love them. But I wonder if deep down he's holding some resentment and will feel just like OP when they pass.
Nikki Gross 1 year ago (edited)
That's one of the arguments that I've heard repeatedly over my decision to not have children and on top of that staying single. "Who's going to take care of you when you're old?" The short and obvious answer is... Me! I took care of my Mom and have zero regrets, because she was so much more then just a Mother to me. But people who have children to only have someone take care of them and use their children as their retirement, those people are beyond f****d up, selfish, narcissistic a******s. Those are the same type of people that think since they gave birth to you it automatically entitles them to be cared for once they are a certain age. Not no, but HELL NO! You do not owe them jack s**t!
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
You don’t need to apologize. Do not take care of your siblings. Disability and their medical insurance will help do that. Your parents were horrid, and it seemed like they just had kids to take care of them and then made you do it. You, u til you are married with kids, come first in your life. Always.
When it comes to evaluating if a secret is harmless or needs to be revealed, Tori says we have to assess whether or not there is potential harm to someone. "This can be ourselves, someone else, or people in general. If there is a surprise party happening, and the guest of honor does not know about it, is there much risk of harm to them if we surprise them? No," she explained.
"If there is someone who is planning on hurting themselves or someone else, or is actively being hurt by someone, is there much risk of harm if we keep it a secret? Yes. Looking at the nature of the secret and whether or not someone could get hurt can be a helpful way to determine whether or not a secret needs to be revealed," Tori continued. "If there is danger, it is important to go to a trusted authority figure in order to maintain the safety of everyone involved."
#7
I downloaded dozens of movies I would never be allowed to watch using the churches WiFi. I’d download them, watch them late at night, delete them, and find the next movie. This is how I watched The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogy, and all of the Harry Potter movies for the first time since I was a toddler. Looking back it’s one of the more mild things I did as a teen, but it would be the worst thing in mom’s mind. The repercussions of knowing I lost my virginity at 14 weren’t nearly as bad it would be if she knew I had been downloading movies like Gladiator or Kingdom of Heaven and using the churches internet lmao. Ohhhh boy if she knew that’s how I watched the Alien movies for the first time lmao.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
What really gets me is how "mild" those forbidden movies actually are. I wouldn't recommend Alien (the original) for a 14 year old but the rest are pretty much fine (haven't seen Kingdom of Heaven so not sure about that one).
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Guess Undheit 1 year ago
The fact that we're talking about harmless movies, not p_rn (like the priest/pastor would watch) says a lot about the religion.
Daniela Lavanza 1 year ago
Not being allowed to watch the lord of the rings? What stupid family think this is a dangerous movie?!?
Idgafwyt AllDat'N'ABagOfChips 1 year ago
When OP says the repercussions from losing their virginity at the young age of 14, would have been significantly less than if their Mom found out they watched PG/PG-13 movies. This whole scenario just isn't making sense in my head. 🙃
Angela C 1 year ago
Nothing if you're not a certifiably insane religious nut job like OP's parents clearly were
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Ralph Watkins 1 year ago
I used to work with two Satanists. It was hilarious when the one born-again guy used to come over to harass them. He would hurl scriptures at them & they would toss a ton more back at him. They both grew up in fanatical Christians families who also saw everything as evil. They were good guys guys actually. I have my strong faith yet I still see them as God's creation.
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
Get some therapy. The loaded way you talk about your actions can only hurt you.
#8
I got vasectomy, they’ll never get a grandchildren from me.
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
Me too. I like kids, but the world REALLY doesn't need any more mouths to feed.
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Hollerfloozy 1 year ago
This one kinda hits a nerve. I bet he didn't have to jump thru hoops or have a "valid" medical reason. He just didnt want kids. Wish we had that choice. ( I'm seriously bitter. )
Katy McMouse 1 year ago
Why is it so easy for a man to get a vasectomy? My friend has been begging her doctors for a hysterectomy for years. She's physically not capable of conceiving and her partner knows this, so it's not even a question of what he wants (nor should it be). She's suffered with severe menstrual pain for close to two decades, yet no doctor will even consider it. It infuriates her, and me, and everyone who loves her.
Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
My parents once thanked me for not having kids. I've never wanted them, but that was still a weird day.
Annik Perrot 1 year ago
The snipping of the two canals that carry spermatozoids from the t*sticles to the pen*s. Everything still functions, but no baby can result of it.
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KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Some of my dad’s relatives refused to babysit their grandchildren any more until their son got a vasectomy.
shankShaw deReemer 1 year ago
I'm thankful I didn't have kids because I have debilitating migraines that would have kept me away from them and them from me.
#9
My wife and I married in 2021. Our families believe we got married late last year. We got married (for real) in front of three very good friends who we felt were more deserving of seeing us marry. If either of our families found out they’d be crushed.
Occam's Chainsaw 1 year ago
My husband and I were married in September of 2020, with just our officiant and witness present. We had talked about doing something tiny during the pandemic, but MIL didn't approve. We had a wedding in 2021, and she thinks that's our anniversary. She doesn't need to know.
Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
My family was against the marriage, my wife's was neutral. 33 years later, I guess it is fair to say we were right. No church, just getting married - and a weekend in Paris on the minimal budget we had.
Calvin Smelliott 1 year ago
Sounds like the ceremony was exactly what ~y’all~ wanted. Congratulations and best wishes!!!
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
My parents got married quietly and no one knew. Then my mom found out she was pregnant with me and every one thought it was going to be a shotgun marriage. Nope. Already married
Donna Duplantis 1 year ago
The reason they got married earlier was because they had been having an affair for a year and half, behind his wife's back, and they didn't want anyone to know. So they didn't publish the original wedding date. I know this person,
While people keep secrets from their parents for many reasons, Tori says one common reason is a fear of judgment or potential punishment. "For some people, what they are doing may not be in alignment with their parents' views or expectations," she noted.
"This does not always mean what they are doing is harmful - for instance, rooting for the rival of the sports team your parents have rooted for for the past 30 years may not be something advertised, but ultimately doesn't hurt anybody," Tori explained. "Parents can withhold information or keep secrets from their children in order to help keep them safe and allow them space to explore their own sense of the world without interference."
#10
Dad, I’m sorry but you don’t have as high of an alcohol tolerance as you think. Half of that Tito’s handle was water.
Tamra 1 year ago
Don't know why you were downvoted. You're right. I knew many people (including myself) who were convinced that vodka was the most stealthy thing to drink and not be discovered, because it had no scent. News flash: it absolutely smells and we weren't fooling anyone.
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#11
I M19 was touched by my male cousin when I was 6 & touched again by a different older male cousin at 16. It felt relieving typing that.
Adira Bennett 1 year ago
Male survivors face a lot of stigma and I am so glad you got it off your chest despite pressure to keep silent. I'm so sorry you went through these traumatic events, and I wish you continued relief from the pain that was never your fault.
AUndomiel 1 year ago
So sorry for your abuse. Male/Female..doesn't matter when someone's being abused. It's super, extra, difficult to even acknowledge it because families condition their members (especially the young), to keep their mouths shut like the family is Vegas, except more guilt ridden and slimy.
Ralph Watkins 1 year ago
When I was 8 I went with my grandparents to visit my my grandmother's family in rural Georgia. It was the 60s. It was only recently when I was telling my daughter about the experience that it hit me. These people we hillbillies. For us kids playing, before we could come indoors, we had to strip naked & wash our clothes, even our underwear. An old ringer washer was in the yard & we used that & then had to sit & wait for the clothes to dry in the sun. My old "kissin'" cousin wanted to sit on my lap & neck like the grown-ups did. She was a few years older than me. I knew nothing about sex at the time but this was still too weird for me to go along with. Looking back, one can bet their was most likely some twisted stuff going on in that family. I remember meeting more civilized family down there who all told me that they avoided those people.
Jane Hower 1 year ago
I had a great uncle fondle me at 12 - I was so confused but when he said 'don't tell' that's when I knew for sure it was very wrong. Didn't tell my folks until he died and I was 15. Boy were they pissed.
Brent Amador 1 year ago
I suffered as a child myself. Very sorry….admitting it was very brave of you.
Shawna Reich 1 year ago
oh man, sorry to learn that. Big hugs to you! I am glad it was a bit relieving to type that :)
Brian Droste 1 year ago
A y who was a usec as a child once be c ome a adult couldyoy cal, the authorities and press charges. Even if they don't stick ar least this let's other people know what happened to you.
#12
That I don't want to see them anymore. I want to finish schooling to get a good career, pick up my dogs from them, and not talk to them anymore. My grandparents have supported me the last few years and I am so much happier and healthier living with them. Sorry Dad, I can't do it anymore.
Alexia 1 year ago (edited)
Oh, I did tell my parents that. They didn't care for decades. I moved away and pretty much managed my life alone, with no help and no good word from them. Recently, my aging father was diagnosed with a chronic, debilitating disease. Suddenly, they started harassing me with phone calls and messages. Demanding my time, my resources, my relationships. Claiming that "you have to get over the past" because "he's your father, and at least he didn't beat you." I spoke to my mother in one month more than we had spoken in the last 10 years. Until I finally set some boundaries: I'll help as much as I can, but I don't "have to" do anything, just to make you feel better for the abuse you put me through.
Sunshine Lady 1 year ago
I felt like that during highschool. I was so happy when I moved out. Now I have healthy relationship with my parents with some boundaries set.
Lew k 1 year ago
I’ve been no contact with my dad for a long time. I always believed in family and tried my best to keep my siblings together and communicating in spite of my dad’s attempts to play us against each other. My siblings are close to or over 40 and still not capable of living as self sufficient adults as a result mostly of my dad. Sometimes the only way to move on is to cut out the thing holding you back. They all still talked to my dad and he is still screwing them up. I went no contact, did the work with therapy and introspection and now I’m the only one doing well. My one brother has cut him out too and is starting to move on. Ones in prison on 4 duis and just like dad it’s not her fault.
Janet Weston 1 year ago
You don’t have to . Don’t feel guilt, my dad did all his life… he hated his mother and pitied his father . He felt as if he should love his mum but never could .
Lotekguy 1 year ago
Toxic is toxic in any relationship, whether family, friendships, job, etc. Admitting it can be difficult, but one of the best ways to improve your life is to cut those ties where you can, and limit exposure to the others.
Camber Hollywood 1 year ago
No contact is good when you're a victim. I think the end goal is that I am no longer "toxified" by whatever they do. If I'm injured by one person doing something, I'll be injured by other people doing the same thing. It is far better to grow to no longer be injured by that thing.
"The adage 'secrets, secrets, are no fun, secrets secrets, hurt someone' offers some fair insight into not only the popularity of secrets, but also the gauge of when a secret should be revealed," Tori shared with Bored Panda. "Ultimately, each person is able to choose what they do and do not share with others."
"Whether it is that you are secretly a fan of Nickelback or that you root for the Red Sox in a Yankee household, most of us have some secret we keep to ourselves," she added. "If the secret puts someone else at risk, however, it is important to ensure that secret is revealed so that everyone has the opportunity to stay safe."
#13
That I almost died. I got sick, bad, and it kept getting worse. I told them it was a cold knowing they would drop everything to come check on me, potentially disrupting their lives. I bought plane tickets for them the day after my operation, pretty much knowing I wouldn't survive.
The hospital staff saved my life, and now every year on the anniversary. I make it a point to send them flowers, the only one who knows is my wife.
Panda 1 year ago (edited)
That was so wrong. Give your loved ones the option to see you before you die.
Alexandra 1 year ago
I get where you're coming from: if OP would have died, his (presumably) parents would have been devastated not to have seen him before it happened. On the other hand, it was a selfless act to spare someone else, so please give OP some slack.
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Erik Draverhaven 1 year ago
When I got sick for the only time in my life, not a single friend or family member visited, called, or sent a card. This is not unusual, i have found out from other people I met,. I came home after 5 months in the hospital to a looted house. My ex-wife of 25 years figured I was going to die, so she grabbed everything she could. She even put my two cars into her name by forging the titles. Police said it was a civil matter, not criminal. I literally went from being well off to starting all over at 52.
EmBree 1 year ago
When my dad was hospitalized he told my mom that he didn't want visitors. 3 days later she called everyone close to him and told them to come and say goodbye if they wanted to. He usually yelled and was mean when she did things like that, but that day he was calm. He talked to his guests for a couple of hours, then he died. We didn't know that he was dying. He had a cough, that was all. Turned out that he had cancer all through his body. He had kept it secret, never going to get a diagnosis or healthcare until he couldn't function anymore.
Calvin Smelliott 1 year ago
We, my siblings and I, weren't allowed to be there when mom died. It's a hole that can never be filled. We didn't get to say goodbye. Death is final. There are no ramifications. It's the most selfish thing she ever did. I live with it but will never accept it.
#14
That my high-school boyfriend they liked so much severely abused me. I'd never tell them now because I wouldn't want them to feel guilty for not protecting me.
RLIF 1 year ago
I feel you, for real. My first "serious" boyfriend abused me mentally and emotionally. He broke up with me after I said i didn't love him after less of 3 months of dating. After he broke up with me my older Bro and Sis said they preferred him to me.
Lene 1 year ago
I feel this so much! My first bf was 27 when I was 17. He was emotionally and r@ping me. My grandma on my dad's side loved the guy so much and she was sad when I told her we weren't together anymore. My other grandma, when I told her I'd broken up with him, said "Finally! You came to your senses!" And I did not have the guts to tell her that part of the reason I stayed as long as I did was because I thought everybody (incl. Her) was so supportive of our relationship. I thought for about 6months that I was in the wrong for wanting to not be with that guy because everybody seemed so happy for me to be with him.
R Dennis 1 year ago
My daughter broke up with her first boyfriend last year. I finally got to tell her how much I despised him. His smarmy fake smile he thought I couldn't see through, his lazy thinking, his leeching behavior... just general disrespect for our home and family. She asked why I didn't say anything and I told her me doing that would have caused her to defend him since she chose him. She said "Well, even (our dog) didn't like him. So next time, just tell me. If he doesn't pass the dad and dog test, he's out!" I don't know if it really will matter in the future... but I told her "I may never like who you bring home, but if I go towards dislike instead of tolerate after a bit I promise to tell you."
Miki 1 year ago (edited)
Wow. Just because I believe this wronged girl had obligation to show the others how big of an a*****e this guy was to protect future victims from him I was downvored on my other comment. Awesome. people are disgusting.
FluffyDreg 1 year ago
Because it's victim blaming. Her first priority is to HERSELF. Once shes taken care of then she can look into doing that. But she's not obligated to put potential strangers before herself.
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A-c Van Binsbergen 1 year ago
you should tell them, if it would make a difference. I told mine, they didn't care.. I dunno what's worse
#15
Senior year of highschool, my parents were going out of town one weekend and didn’t trust me home alone so I stayed with my aunt and uncle a few towns over. My friend drove me to school that morning and he was telling me about this girl he was trying to hook up with. I told him my parents would be out of town and that I’d leave him my spare key, he could have a couple people over but I made him promise no more than 10 and nobody leaves the basement.
Fast forward to later that night, I’m walking my aunt and uncles dog. Somebody texted me asking if they could come over, I told them I’m not home and to talk to my friend. Couple minutes later same thing from someone else. Couple minutes later someone from another school asked if they could come to my party. That’s when I first realized I should call my friend and see what’s up.
Turned out the small kickback turned into a full blown rager. Apparently one of the guys he invited ended up inviting the whole soccer team and then it just grew from there.
It was all anyone talked about for a while at school. Neighbors knocked, cops drove by. Best party of the year from what I heard. Most of the people that showed up didn’t even know that I wasn’t there.
Next day my friend and another friend came back to clean up and they heard someone upstairs. It was my mom’s friend coming by to feed the cat. They hid in a closet for a bit until it was clear.
Despite all that, to this day my parents somehow have no idea any of this happened. I was on edge about it for months after the fact. The part I’ve always found funniest/most ironic is the fact that if they had left me home alone that weekend then none of this would have happened.
We’re 26 now. He’s still my best friend. If I remember correctly he did end up hooking up with that girl that night. The cat was safe (he lives with me now). I still give him s**t about this.
Nina 1 year ago
Wouldn't his parents be mad at him though if they did? I'd say he would've gotten punished. Or they do know but can't blame him because he was at his aunt and uncle 🤔
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CP 1 year ago
I once tried to host a small get together at my house when my parents were away. I waited until later in the night to inform people to try to keep it small. Word spread fast and it turned into a full blown rager. Cleaned the house perfectly but couldn't hide the tire tracks from the cars parked in the yard. Didn't have any regrets.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
People who have such oblivious parents or ones who just stay silent while knowing are lucky.
Andrew Keir 1 year ago
No need to give the cat "anagram of 'this'" - it's not his fault what the soft can-openers get up to ;-)
Couragetcd 1 year ago
They might not have cared much. They know their kid was NOT partying and the house was as they left it.
Lorraine R 1 year ago
They probably did. And what about the aunt coming to feed the cat? She must have noticed something.
Load More Replies... #16
That I did online and full service escort work in college. My mother's soul would leave her body and I don't know if it would ever return.
KinoEel 1 year ago
I like to think that if works as a way to make a living if someone is willing to pay and it doesn’t harm anyone do whatever the f**k you want
Load More Replies... Momma Jess 1 year ago
If you break it down, "escort" work and, putting it in general terms, selling your body like that isn't much different than selling your body/skills to a big corporation.
similarly 1 year ago
Many, many years ago, I read about Christine Wheatley, who was being considered for minister in the British Parliament, who admitted that, as a young woman living in Paris in the 1970s, she'd been a prostitute. When confronted with the "scandal" she just laughed, and said "I also used to sell encyclopedias door to door, and I'm much more ashamed of that!"
RLIF 1 year ago
You did what you had to do. I absolutely applaud you for your resourcefulness. Get it!
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 1 year ago
I know a few people who did this to help pay for college. If I had more confidence I would also have considered it.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
If I thought I could survive on a $1.50 a week I'd have given it a go ;)
Load More Replies... Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
Your choice, and if you are OK with it, that's all that counts. No need to tell anyone.
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
Well you could have become a shoplifter. At Harrod's. Don't bring shame on the family. IYKYK
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
Oh yeah! It would beeline for you and harass you until you made it right with God!
#17
I found my mom's diary from when she was in high school. In it she talks about her infatuation with a classmate named Roman. Roman was (just based on the way she describes him) the biggest f**kboy in the world. He was a total w***e, he wouldn't commit to my mom but he would flirt with her just enough to lead her on.
**At one point she DID HIS HOMEWORK FOR HIM.**
**I swear to GOD, if I had access to a time machine for just five f*****g minutes, I would use it exclusively to reach back in time and b***h slap my mom REPEATEDLY for being such a sucker for this douchebag.**
Now here's the worst part...my dad's name is Roman. He went to the same high school as my mom. But my dad is the kindest, most generous and decent guy I know. Roman is NOT that common a name but I'm trying to convince myself she's talking about another Roman. Because the guy she's describing could NOT be my dad.
**EDIT:** It **WAS** my dad she was talking about. I asked my aunt and she confirmed 1. there was no other Roman at their school. 2. my mom was obsessed with my dad in high school.
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
So he grew up. It happens. Who you are in high school isn’t necessarily who you are in adult life.
Lotekguy 1 year ago
Good for everyone that Roman stopped roamin'. Maybe your mom saw past his teen facade, even if she didn't write that in her diary.
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Nina 1 year ago
So if they went back and b***h slapped their mom out of that infatuation, they would've erased themselves from existence 😅
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
Erm... Am I the only one who is annoyed at this person for reading their Moms diary in the first place?... It doesn't matter if it was from her teens, that's still not yours to read and it's an invasion of privacy.
1 year ago
Seems like you have mum issues to be honest. Why are you so riled about something that happened to her years ago and actually ended up completely fine.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Why was OP so surprised that it was their dad? Was this written by a 12 year old
Nikki Gross 1 year ago
Upvote for #1 Crush / Garbage I still love that song!
Load More Replies... #18
I donated my eggs to a friend and she has twins now.
Karen Bryan 4 months ago
One of my nieces was surrogate for a friend. She did it free (medical expenses excepted). My niece already had the 3 kids she and her husband wanted. She is a tiny little woman, and she carried TWINS--for a friend.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
My stepsister has donated eggs three times, resulting in one stillbirth and two live births. My stepdad had a hard time dealing with it to start with (maybe still does but knows no one sympathises with him)
#19
My mom will never know that the night my best friend died it was because I k***ed him in self defense. Or that I spent a lot of nights in the room next to hers with a gun in my mouth trying to summon the balls to end it all. I will add that I'm good now and have gotten past it.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
Okay Um... Quite a few questions here... Like - Did the police not investigate?... The person says that it was in self defence but what happened that he had to take such a drastic course of action? How old were they both?... The glibness of the final line - "I will add that I'm good now and have gotten past it"? That's... Worrying because you'd think that having had to do such a thing would haunt you for the rest of your life.
just me 1 year ago
The "it" could be referring to the suicidal ideation as opposed to killing the friend, since that's in the preceding line.
Load More Replies... AUndomiel 1 year ago
Sorry you have to wrangle with that guilt, but it doesn't control you or your future. There are plenty of options to get counseling/therapy, even for those who are low income or homeless. Please check into the resources in your area. Whether you are LGBTQIA+ or not, contact your local center -- they have access/referrals to places social services lacks.
Cat Dragon 1 year ago
Okay I kinda wanna know this story. *Nowhere to run playing in background*
Bewarethere@gmail.com 1 year ago
Oh huney I'm so sorry 4 what's happened to you but I'm glad ur doing better. 💖
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
Well at least you didn't become the serial killer you were meant to be.
#20
I was molested by my older brother.
RLIF 1 year ago
I am so sorry that happened to you. I expected molestation at the hands of family members and am still trying to make sense of the whole situation. I am a true believer in therapy. I hope you can find peace my fellow traveler❤️🩹
AUndomiel 1 year ago (edited)
I also experienced molestatio at the hands of family (encouraged by my...errr, adoptive mother). I was a child of an "affair" (my father groomed a teenager in his church), so they raised me as their own as if they were gentry/nobility back in the day.....I think I would have fared better back in the day. I'm so sorry for your whole situation, I hope your therapy has helped and you have some measure of peace.
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Two_rolling_black_eyes 1 year ago
This one needs to be shared. People don't turn 18 and just stop doing it. The brother needs help and those who care for him need to keep him away from kids until he gets it.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
Yes, it needs to be shared with the police. I hope OP is somewhere that's possible
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Irish Lassie 1 year ago
I’d never told anyone because they said they’d tell them it was ME that instigated it and my 6 yr old self was scared sh.itless! By the time I hit my 30’s, I decided it was safe enough to tell my Mom because I can now defend myself, right?? WRONG!! My mother didn’t believe me that her only son & baby brother would do anything like that. I never brought it up again until my oldest sister (the twin to my only brother) told me she’d also been molested by them both. This all happened in the late 60’s, early 70’s so nothing sinister was ever talked about. What’s kills me is the fact that my oldest sister and I were so close for so long but now she doesn’t talk to me because I don’t call mom often enough. All my family live in New England & I’m in the Midwest. I have my reasons for not calling mom as often as I should and my sister knows why but I guess none of that matters. I call when I work up enough strength & energy to do it and that’s the best I can do for now.
crousleystephens 1 year ago
I was shocked reading your experience because it's so close to my own. I'm sorry those things happened to you, sorry for the terrible thing itself but also sorry because it robbed you of time with your family. My dad was the oldest of my grandparents 5 children and was born in 56 and their youngest was born in 71. My brother came in 74 and then I came in 76. My mom ran off when I was a month old and left us with my dad so he moved us all back in with my grandpa, then he ran off and left us there. My youngest uncle started molesting me when I was 6 and forcing me to do oral acts on him. He did these things in the presence of my brother. If he hadn't done that in front of my brother I feel like my brother maybe wouldn't have gone on to molesting me and trying to rape me when I was 12. My grandpa would have done the right thing if he known, but I could never bring myself to tell him about my uncle because I loved my grandpa more than anything and my 6 year old self was scared I would be taken away and never see him again. I never told about my brother because by then I was at the age when girls start being told to act ladylike and hearing victim blaming so I honestly thought it was my fault.
Load More Replies... Irish Lassie 1 year ago
I was also molested not only by my brother, but also my uncle who was 2 years older than him. The uncle is my mother’s brother. Mom’s the oldest & had the twins at 19. The uncle was born when my grandmother was 45. The worst part is that it happened during holiday meals at my grandparent’s house, when EVERYONE was around and no one ever noticed that I had disappeared! It Started when I was 6 and they were 11 & 13 It continued until I was 11. I got my first job at 9 yrs at a horse farm that rented horses for trail rides. It was a couple miles from home by bike starting at 4;00 am and I had to be home before dark. I worked enough to buy my own horse (with no help from anyone) and went to shows every weekend.with my grown up friends at the farm. My horse and those friends saved me from many family dinners.. That part is so sad because I DEARLY loved my grandparents. I forgave my brother and myself. Brother pretends he doesn’t know why and the uncle is dead.
Ralph Watkins 1 year ago
My daughter was in 4th grade & I went to her school for parents day. Got to sit in on her class. I was working with troubled & abused kids at the time. The one girl kept looking at the dads in the classroom seductively. After school, I asked my daughter about the sexually abused girl in her class. She knew who I was talking about. She was a foster child. Removed from her family as a young child. Her older brother was in for a long prison sentence & he had a permanent protection from abuse order in place & was to have no contact with his younger sister. It sounded like the brother was doing evil things & mom did nothing to stop it.
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
I worked for years as a sex offender therapist. You would not believe the number of times a mother made the "Sophie's Choice" and sided with her son, the abuser of her daughter.
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#21
That I'm a gay woman trying to quietly date other women. I had two very serious relationships with men that lasted 10 years and 2 years, so they just think I'd rather be single. But in reality, I'd love to have a girlfriend or a wife.
The Silly Stellar Jay 1 year ago
Well then, OP should just do that. Most family gets on board usually and if they don't well to me it's more important to live your truth. Besides the LGBTQ+ community welcomes everyone with open arms.
Keating_5 1 year ago
Bisexuals say hi as well. Not as badly ostracized as trans people, but oof.
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Donna Peluda 1 year ago
I (m55 )have a good friend (f51) who is gay. She can´t come out because of her very traditional family. On her big 50th Birthday it broke my heart to see her not able to sit next to her GF, we sat together. To the family she is her flat mate. So sad she can´t just live her life and be happy.
Tamra 1 year ago
That is incredibly sad. At 51 you have more time behind you than you do ahead of you. I can't imagine completely burying my true self for a lifetime just to please narrow-minded parents. Life is too damn short.
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Nikki Gross 1 year ago (edited)
Total Ace says "HI" to everyone! 😁 Also, unfortunately even in the LGBTQIA + community there are people that are bigots and racist. Just because you're part of the same community as them, doesn't mean you are exempt from being a targeted by others that have issues with your Race, Religion, Sex, Gender and so many other things that they believe makes you "Different" from others.
#22
My mom has never been intelligent. My sister and I think she is around 6th grade level mentality, and I couldn't really tell growing up because we were homeschooled and isolated/neglected until high-school so we didn't see much of what a "normal" mom was like until we were well into adulthood. She can't comprehend complex conversations and I find myself dumbing down what I say to her so she can understand. She doesn't know how to have an original thought and just copies other people's exact words in comment sections on social media. Over the last several years I've been distancing myself, because I hold a huge grudge over my childhood being traumatic and my mom never being there for me or being helpful in any way. She's self centered and emotionally immature and it's exhausting being around her.
BarkingSpider 1 year ago
She probably has a very low IQ and it's really sad that none of you got the support that you needed and deserved.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
People with low IQs can still hold a good conversation, come up with their own ideas and comprehend complex topics. It sounds like the mom could be pretending to not understand. Oh gosh. My mom actually does this. She likes to do all the talking, correct you, parrots what you just said and takes any idea of yours to make it sound like it was her idea. It's a manipulation tactic to make sure she feels smarter, better than you. On the other end, it does make the manipulator come across as really immature and uneducated, but trying to be smarter than all in a condescending way. It is exhausting to talk to those types of people.
Load More Replies... All's Gravy 1 year ago
Sounds like she could be Autistic Spectrum Condition (as a high-performing ASC myself), so it's not just about IQ.
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
So what's the secret you're keeping? Did you read the title of this thread?
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
She like Y knows no better. Was raped or pregnant before marriage? Did your dad take advantage of her? Someone surely did! She is doing well if she made it through raising two children, and you two are still alive. So, cut her some slack, please. Let go,of the burden of resentment if you can and see if for the point of a young woman with a very low intelligence, taken advantage of, and then having to raise you all, and not knowing how. Work with her, tell her right from wrong.
NeOsage 1 year ago
I feel you. My mother was exactly the same, although she wouldn't have been able to spell social media, never mind use it. She died from eosophigal cancer during the pandemic and if I'm honest it was a huge relief, she was a constant source of embarassment throughout my entire life.
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
Or ADHD. Those 2 seem to be the only 2 diagnoses BP understands.
Load More Replies... Libia Velasquez 1 year ago
And to think that intelligence genes come from the mother... Stop saying this about her. Maybe she lacks some skills that were not worked on
#23
They can never know that I’m homeless. I assume they think I’m doing well but really I’m struggling financially and live out of a computer cafe.
The Silly Stellar Jay 1 year ago
If OP is in the US you are not alone. Housing costs are crazy high.
Display Name 1 year ago
yeah bro i just got off the streets last year and that's only because of an amazing girl
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Mike F 1 year ago
I feel for OP. I lived in my car for a time about 40 years ago. It's not a good life.
Sue User 1 year ago
Remember that glorios feeling when you got a warm shower ( instead of sponge bath ) or when you got to sleep in big, soft bed ( instead of cramped in back seat of car)?
Load More Replies... similarly 1 year ago
As a parent of adults, let me say this: Just because my kids turned 18 does not mean I'm no longer their Dad. I would do anything for them. One of them lives with me right now, and if the other wanted to come home, his room is always there for him. My Dad told ME the same thing last time I saw him! A Dad doesn't stop being your Dad just because you grew up. I hope your parents are the same. Please talk to them.
Caitlin M. Maguire 1 year ago
Replace dad with mom and that's me. I live at home with both mom and dad. I'm grown and my mom would literally do anything for me. I do everything for her.
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Winnie the Moo 1 year ago
It’s sad that some kids are never safe enough with their parents to come back home and stay…
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
Or are too filled with pride. We don't know, do we?
Load More Replies... Momma Jess 1 year ago
I've been estranged from my parents for years, but for the last year it so have been slowly trying to repair some contact. Then I had a few things happen all at once, and I reached out to them, and I have no regrets. Even just having someone to listen has been amazing.
Janet Weston 1 year ago
Go home.. no shame of going home and asking for help. It’s the bravest thing you can do
LJ Harwood 1 year ago
Hope your life gets better soon. If you were my son, I’d want to know so I could ask you to live with me until you could get your own place.
JennyH 1 year ago
Been there. I'd give it a try. Alot if people will drop off and give any teason not to help ,as I found out, BUT you'd be amazed the 1 or 2 people who will help you if you just share it. I feel for you. Homelessness is terrifying and traumatic and it brought about a new fear. Anytime I have to move or lose a job, Fear of homelessness kicks in. It can happen to anyone.
#24
I brought a horse into the house- accidentally. It came through the hallway, through the kitchen dining room, and back put through the living room. I was scared s**tless it would pee inside, and would be spooked.
The Silly Stellar Jay 1 year ago
Wait, but then what happened? So many other questions....like how do you bring a horse into a house accidentally?
Bored something 1 year ago
Maybe it was just a bit of horse play taken a bit too far.
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SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago
The bartender who lives there asks, "Why the long face?"
Load More Replies... Caitlin M. Maguire 1 year ago
Did someone watch a lot of Mr. Ed growing up? Or the horse episode of Full House? They did this in an episode of FH and later with a cow in a Fuller House episode.
Binny Tutera 1 year ago
I know someone who used to take their horse into the living room to groom it. They were crazy, tbh
Jonathan Setter 3 months ago
this is why language matters. EITHER she brought a horse into the house, OR it got in accidently. Not both. And no, I do not "know what they meant", because they literally said two different and mutually exclusive things at the same time.
Nicole Weymann 1 year ago
🎶"Da steht ein Pferd aufm Flur, ein echtes Pferd aufm Flur..." 🎶 (God, it's been about 35 years since I last heard that song. Could have done without that earworm for another 50 or so)
#25
When I got old enough to Google, I wrote an anonymous letter to get a restraining order on my dad so he could no longer abuse my mom. Like my mom wrote it, is what I’m trying to say. Didn’t end well, she ended up taking him back and becoming pretty abusive herself. Dad’s now dead & I went no contact with my mother a year ago.
#26
When they're buried, I'm checking out. I'm only sticking around because I feel I'm obligated to care for them as they age. Edit: Whichever one of you beautiful bastards reported me to Reddit Cares, I know which way the help desk is. I'm just more interested in the exit door.
C.O. Shea 1 year ago
Ahhh, the self-righteousness of those suicide prevention workshop graduates.
Shark queen 🦈🦈🦈 1 year ago
Is it okay that my strategy to tell people not to commit suicide is to send them funny cat videos and funny puppy videos and tell them that they might not be any after? I just want to know if that's okay.
Load More Replies... El Dee 1 year ago
Once you see the exit you can't unsee it, it's always there. I had ECT. Extreme measures but it worked, I'm still here and not unhappy about the fact. You don't have to feel how you feel..
Binky Melnik 1 year ago (edited)
Same here, El Dee. I remain unhappy about the retrograde and anterograde amnesia I got from it (especially the latter; it’s infuriating!) but the reason it’s still performed today is because it’s *really* effective (and not barbaric the way know-nothings think). I’m glad it was good for you too! 💋
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mommamarmar 1 year ago
I have a close friend who had a traumatic brain injury in high school, and he's fairly high functioning still but he has a lot of issues with seizures and headaches and mood stability. It has really hurt him in so many ways in life. One nigh, he confided in me that his plan was to end it once he got to a place where he could not live with the person he was becoming. I asked him to call or message me when he got to that point. I won't stop him, I just want to be able to say goodbye. Whether he will or not, remains to be seen. I just have to keep hoping.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
I thought he meant checking out of the family and be independent at first.
Hollerfloozy 1 year ago
At this point, I'm only alive for sex. It seems the only way I can really feel anything anymore. I don't do d***s. I don't sleep with random people. I have a few good "friends" and that is it. Otherwise, if I smile, it's fake. If I laugh, it's forced. I'm on all kinds of meds for my mental health, but you can't medicate the state of this country/world away.
Andrew Keir 1 year ago
Make sure you're not intending to apply a permanent solution to what might be a temporary problem - but, if the hurt is long-standing and too much , it's *your* life and nobody else's .
#27
My mom takes me on vacation to the Caribbean area sometimes (we stay at resorts) around once every 1-2 years. We went at the end of last year, and I realized I was only really enjoying myself when I wasn't around her. She wants to spend almost all walking hours together. When she's drunk, she makes baseless assumptions and doesn't accept the possibility that they could be (and are) wrong. So, on the days that she got day drunk, I'd make sure she got in bed safely, and I'd go out and actually have fun. She asked me for destinations that I'd like to go to, and I just told her that I don't think I want to travel for now. The truth is that I don't want to travel with her.
Andrew Keir 1 year ago
We owe our parents a lot - but not everything, by a long chalk. They owe us the right to be ourselves - Kahlil Gibran puts this well. They are the bow - but, eventually, we are the arrows that fly free.
Laura 1 year ago
This one scares me. What if my kids feel this way about me when they’re grown? I’m not worried that they’ll hate me, or go no contact with me, but what if they just don’t enjoy spending time with me, the way I enjoy being with them? My heart would break.
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
Uh, I don't know. What would I do? I know. ASK THEM. This is not rocket science!
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Rahb in Oz 1 year ago
I totally understand, from both points of view; that was my mother and me for a long time. So don't travel with her until or unless she resolves her issues.
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
Again, oh boo hoo. Either take the free vacay and shut your pie hole or stay home. You have complete free will here. BTW, I'm a retired LCSW therapist who drinks occasionally. Hell, I'll go with her. 1) San Francisco, 2) Washington DC, 3) Japan. Call me.
#28
The full extent of my disabilities. My mother has *a lot* of opinions about mental illness mainly that they don't exist. *Luckily* I also have a brain tumor, so she understands somewhat that I can't work full time but is still angry that I'm not working part-time at the very least.
Ms.GB 1 year ago
In the way that her mom takes the brain tumor seriously but not op's mental health. The fact they feel "lucky" to have a brain tumor because it makes their disabilities visible and understandable to their mom is incredibly messed up.
Load More Replies... Brenda 1 year ago (edited)
My parents are awesome and we're very close. But it took me living with them again (at 54) for them to really begin to understand just how bad it can get. Although they never said it, I know they thought I was exaggerating about the pain sometimes or how hard I have to try some days. Now that they've lived with me for 4 years (I'm 58 now), mom is the first one to check on me when she knows conditions are bad. Sometimes it takes first hand experience to realize the truth
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
Geez, what century was OP's mom living in? Doesn't believe mental illnesses exist? Seriously?
Andrew Keir 1 year ago
Regrettably , there are still people like this - "if you can't see it, it doesn't exist". They live in a restricted world ...
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 1 year ago
My mom is the same. She thinks anything I tell her that doesn't seem normal she apparently has the same experience ONCE and proceeds to tell me how to correct the supposed behaviour. I've taken math classes and had tutors, and extra time studying but the information with abstract sequences and numbers don't stick. Number sequences make no sense to me. They just look like a lot of numbers jumbled around, for example. I tried explaining what I learned about math dyslexia but she refuses to acknowledge there's anything wrong with me. At this point, it's futile. Pointless. Gotta find the answers on your own. F**k what other people think, including your folks. It's your life and future. Not theirs.
Rahb in Oz 1 year ago
My father's solution to any depression was 'just snap out of it' or 'wake up to yourself'. My mother's solution was to drink herself to death. Gee, thanks, Dad!
Emery Walters 5 months ago
Come here; I'll be your mother now. Although I'm male and 82 LOL. Invisible disabilities are (sometimes literally) a pain in the butt.
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
Let me ask you a question: do you know what the abbreviation NC means?
#29
That they're partly the reason why I don't date and have never really gotten into a relationship. There are other reasons, but they are part of it as well.
LuckyL 1 year ago
Because you don't want them to meet each other? Or because they keep you from getting to know someone?
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AUndomiel 1 year ago
Also, why I got into the 2 long term, horrifying relationships that imploded - and thankfully a smart Therapist told me that conditioned/abused/molested/etc., kids grow into adults to will get in with the "devil they know". Break. The. Cycle. Whatever it takes.
AnnaRachelle 1 year ago
It's really hard but you can get there in the end. Took me until my late 30's
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
I keep my bf away from my mom. He has not met her nor spoken to her. It's been 6 years since we've been together. She doesn't seem eager to meet him nor bothered that she hasn't. She just asks how he's doing casually then dramatically starts talking about something else. It's for the better.
Alexia 1 year ago
Same here. I did tell my mother that I'd rather be alone, no marriage, no children - than living the hell that I saw in her relationship with my father. She didn't seem to care.
All's Gravy 1 year ago
You sound toxic! And danger brewing. You can't knowingly blame your parents, but do nothing about changing your situation. 🤦🏼🥴
Anička 1 year ago
How the heck do you know they're not doing anything? And do you have any inkling about how hard it is to change thoughts/beliefs/habits that were taught/reinforced every day, for decades? Knowing is hard enough, and is the smallest part of changing... Frankly, you sound toxic: "it's in the past just forget it"
Load More Replies... #30
I *begged* my mom to allow me to go tanning as a teenager. She reluctantly relented. FWIW, if I could go back in time and make a different choice, I absolutely would. At 30, I got diagnosed with melanoma. Caught early and removed - nice scar but no chemo. I now go to the dermatologist every six months and have had several atypical moles removed since. But I will never, ever tell her why the scar on my leg is so big. (PS - get your skin checked, kids).
C.O. Shea 1 year ago
But when I told the dermatologist I lived north of the 45th Parallel... he refused to do a full body check. So... yeah, we're all gonna die!
Bec 1 year ago
Yeah that doesn't make any sense, hope you can find a better doctor.
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Angela C 1 year ago
When I was 11 my mom's best friend from high school died from skin cancer. She was in her late 30s and went to tanning beds religiously since they were teenagers. I have never gone to a tanning salon and never will. It's far worse than just going out in the sun without sunscreen (which is still not good) since it's far more concentrated.
Jason 1 year ago
I've made stupid mistakes as a kid and young adult that my mom told me not to do. Thankfully when she was alive I was comfortable enough with her to own up to them and laugh about them if there is humor to be found.
StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
Mother/son dynamics seem to be different than mother/daughter dynamics. I couldn't tell my mom some stuff I've done that I don't think she knew I did. There are 3 possible reactions I could get from her now: 1. She'll tell me she knows and lecture me, saying she was just waiting for the day I confessed. 2. She'll act shocked then angry, and proceed to lecture me for 1 hour as if I had done it today. Possibly even try punishing me. 3. She will not act surprised and tell me how that would justify what she thinks of me and use it as gossip with anyone she knows and will care to listen. Neither involves laughing about it because it's like talking to HR with her.
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#31
My wife and I decided to give our second child up for adoption when we found out he had Hypoplastic left heart syndrome. There was just no way that we could provide the resources to give him the best possible chance and life. We found a great family that couldn't have children and did all the legal stuff. We had to tell my parents that my wife was pregnant and that we weren't keeping it all in one conversation, which broke my mom's heart. I think it was because it was going to be a boy, so he would "Carry on the family name." I think this is archaic, plus we aren't royalty or famous. Idk Later in the pregnancy, my wife's doctor told us that there is a good chance that any future child we have will also have HLHS, which makes our daughter a mirabcle tbh. So, my wife and I discussed more permanent birth control methods and decided that a vasectomy would be the best option. I think that was ~2 years ago that I got the procedure done. I don't know that I will NEVER tell them, but I don't have any plans to.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago (edited)
I am honestly not sure if I am angry at "we found out our kid had a potentially-fatal birth defect and we couldn't handle it, so we gave him up for adoption to a family who now has to carry the financial/emotional burden of it" or happy with "we found out our kid had a birth defect that is potentially treatable, so we gave him up for adoption to a family who could financially handle it". Kind of a mixed bag of feelings here.
Jason 1 year ago
I could never judge someone put in that position. It's heartbreaking overall.
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Dorothy Reiser 1 year ago
You did what was best for your child, regardless of what society thinks.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
If you knwo you cant be the parents a child needs, why demonise adoption? For any reason, if you know you won't be able to provide for a child, and you know someone else will, that's a loving choice. If it's financial, physical or mental health related, better for the child to be in a safe environment. Will people just be lazy and use the excuse of I gave them a chance at a better life? Yes, but those people shouldn't be parents anyway. This sounds like a choice made out of love, but if it wasn't, all the more reason to get the kid out of the home.
Virginie Michaud 1 year ago
It's not demonizing adoption, it's that in this case the financial aspect of health care seems to have been a deciding factor. This choice is necessary only because of an approch to Healthcare that is quite literally unique to the US in that degree. It baffles people who are not American that it would even be possible to be put in such a situation, when so many other countries operate free public Healthcare which protects the most vulnerable, and we have less extreme poverty and violence. Very many people are glad to pay a little more taxes not to ever be in such a situation, and to be sure all of our loved ones are taken care of, indiscriminately of their wealth. That's worth a lot more than saving a few % of income.
Load More Replies... EJN 1 year ago
As someone who used to work in a pediatric ICU where several HLHS kids came through, I know how difficult it is to deal with the care issues post-surgery and the prospect that more than one surgery will be required which is the usual. And, on top of all of that is the huge medical bills generated in trying to keep the child alive and functioning. If you don't have the economic means to pay for all of that, and I mean A LOT OF MONEY, then I understand that putting the child up for adoption is best for the child and the family. Wishing to avoid having to make the same decision more than once is also understandable. Keep your secret and don't even talk about more children with family. Some of us are only blessed with one child.
Anna Harding 1 year ago
I totally get this. There are five people with autism in my/ my husband’s family. So we decided to be childless.
Emery Walters 5 months ago
Hard choice; feels like you did the right thing for the child, with your hearts breaking in two. I'm so sorry.
#32
I’m engaged to a transgender woman at age 18 after one year of dating her. my parents are transphobic/homophobic, and traditional. they wouldn’t approve at all. someday i’ll have to come clean i’m sure, but i plan to do so once i have a sufficient buffer in terms of money/distance. despite the uncertainty of keeping this from them, i’m happy. i love my fiancée so much. i wouldn’t trade her for anything.
Bubs (he/they) 1 year ago
it's so sad that OP has to hide their and their fiance's relationship just because she happens to be transgender. Why can't people be more accepting and loving? OP loves her, and that should be enough for their parents.
Hphizzle 1 year ago
My only red flag (caution flag) for this post is being engaged at 18. And also I’m a little worried they aren’t mentioning the age of the fiancée. Best of luck if it’s a healthy relationship. But from personal experience, my relationship decisions at 18 were not great, let that frontal lobe develop a bit more before a huge commitment like marriage.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
OP is also 18. I peeked at their Reddit post history. I agree with the worries about being engaged at age 18 after just a year of dating. I'm sure OP loves her fiancée, but it's still a little worrying. Their post history also mentions having depression and ADHD and a history of self-harm, and they talk about wanting to "get off their meds" in the future because one of the side effects is that they won't be able to drink in the future. Yikes. "I want to be able to drink" is not exactly the best reason to want to be off of one's meds if one is struggling with depression.
Load More Replies... Mike F 1 year ago
I know that the OP will never see this but, there's no reason under the sky for you to share that information with ANYONE, no reason whatsoever. It's not anyone's business who makes you happy. I just got goosebumps because the prior sentence was typed entirely by predictive text.
Sue User 1 year ago
Yes, i am not for hiding things because it might upset the pearl clutchers, but i see no valid reason to discuss this with their parents. OP is engaged to a lovely woman, end of story.
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Phoenix(or nix)they/them 1 year ago
I am also dating a trans woman and idk how my parents would feel or say about it, so they don't know she's trans to prevent both of us from getting hurt.
Katy McMouse 1 year ago
I'm sorry you can't tell your parents. My son is dating a trans girl and it would kill me to think he might have been afraid to tell us. A person is a person is a person - we all need love and affection to thrive. Love who you love and make no apologies for it.
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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
"someday I'll have to come clean". No you don't. You're an adult, she's an adult, and it's none of their business. 👍
#33
That I love them but desperately wish they’d never had me.
#34
The real reason my wife and I are divorcing is because we can't stop doing d***s together, we've been enabling each other for about two years, and doing the d***s to the point that they really became the only thing we had in common. We tried to get clean and did well for 6 months before relapsing at a friend's party a couple of weekends ago. She blamed me and left with he kids two days later with no warning. It's the hardest thing I've ever gone through and my parents have no idea why it happened. I got into therapy and am determined to stay sober this time, forever. But I think it's too late for our marriage.
Kylie 1 year ago
BP has some VERY weird ideas about what words should be censored
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Chewie Baron 1 year ago
One you start using ducks, it’s a slippery slope. Remember kids, stay in school and don’t use ducks.
Everest Hernandez He/She/They 1 year ago
I'm ashamed to say that one took me some time to figure out it meant d r u g s
Mermeow Overlord (they/she) 1 year ago
I wondered what it meant for people to do di*ks together, censorship on BP has been really extreme lately.
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
That's sad...and I can't imagine what it must be like for those kids.
Kat 1 year ago
I honestly thought 'dishes' ... Because when things go bad between a couple ... The only thing you still have in common is doing the dishes ....
Phoenix Reign 1 year ago
I got D I C K S....I thought they were doing a threesome and husband loved it so much he was gonna drop his wife. Lmao
Load More Replies... Jonathan Setter 3 months ago
Hits real different if you think the word is actually d i c k s . And that is the problem with censorship my friends. How can you ever know what is really said when key words are removed?
#35
I'm not gonna marry or have kids of my own which they probably have in back of their minds No sirrrr I'm too much to handle , I can't even handle myself therefore noway planning to add more trouble into my life lol.
Heather Menard 1 year ago
I'm the same way still single at 54 but I am lonely and would like a significant other. I never regretted not having kids though.
Ms.GB 1 year ago
I made the same decision because of my mental health issues but I ended up caring for 2 disabled family members. I honestly don't know how I'm doing it sometimes but I absolutely never ever thought I would be able to manage everything that I manage rn. Honestly I'm just hanging on by threads but I AM doing it and I remind myself to at least be proud of that.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
My breeders only wanted me to get married so they would have two (or more, if kids) people to abuse and control instead of one. Which is made all the more odd since they suspected I prefer men, not women. Why would I make a woman pregnant?
Phoenix(or nix)they/them 1 year ago
There are few children I like, and I can't handle them for long. I don't want children and I can't grasp the thought of being burnt out from life and more burnt out because I would have kids. I can't see myself bringing a child into such a messed up society.
#36
That I was sharing a bed with my husband (then bf) before marriage, that I smoke stuff they won’t approve of 🤣 and I eat beef (it’s against my religion). But they were very strict as parents so now I know I can do anything I like, just hide it from them. What they don’t know can’t hurt them right😃.
Svenne O'Lotta 1 year ago
OP is probably Indian, social control doesn't end at age 18
Load More Replies... LA Murphy 1 year ago
Parents do not own you. Why should you have to censor your life as a grown adult?
Angi 1 year ago
I censor myself around my mom out of love and respect. I don't hide who I am but she doesn't need to know about my sex life either.
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Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
More power to you. Though I also think, when no one speaks up, it fuels the self-righteousness, especially of those living in religious groups.
manu michael 1 year ago
Some ones a hindu.... But seriously tho Kerala Hindus eat beef all the time, you'll be fine.
#37
That I wasn't a virgin when I got married. Not by a long shot lol.
RLIF 1 year ago
Virginity is a Social Construct chica. It is not a real thing even tho the "Patriarchy" ABSOLUTELY perpetuates the concept.
S P 1 year ago
Genuine question: how can a yes or no question be a social construct? Like, you have our have not had sex. The presumed value and supposed importance of virginity is a construct, but is"virginity"?
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Daniela Lavanza 1 year ago
What about your husband, was he? Strangely enough, no one ever ask the groom to be a virgin, so why should the bride be? Enough with those backward traditions!
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
If women are "expected to be virgins" and males "allowed to sow wild oats", it means either those males are paying for sex with women, sexually assaulting women, or "getting on the down low". How else is that going to happen?
Ralph Watkins 1 year ago
When stationed overseas, our most "popular" girls came from Utah. So sexually repressed. OMG, their sexual appetites were incredible after the came in the Army & went overseas. They were really proud at their conquests too. 40 years later I connected with them on social media. They live back home & are good church ladies now.
#38
As a teenager, I started a pretty serious fire in the garage playing with gasoline that I somehow got put out and cleaned up the mess before they ever found out. And I used to sneak the cars out and go racing up in the hills, stating when I was 14.
BarkingSpider 1 year ago
When I was 14, I accidentally started a trashcan fire at my school. I freaked and ran. Thankfully it didn't spread, someone noticed and was able to put it out.
Sonja 1 year ago
I accidentally set my carpet on fire with glue I lit in a metal box. I think all children are fascinated by fire one time or the other and I envied a friend of mine whose father was a chemist teacher and let her and her brother do experiments under supervision, getting it out without risking burning their house down. They were allowed to prep logs to make them burn in different colours and make their own candles and stuff. She never played with fire without his permission and oversight though, while I sometimes did very questionable things believing they were save because my parents didn't even let me throw pinecones into a campfire or light a candle and I was curious.
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StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
How is it kids managed to do all that without their parents knowing??? My first bf and my bff were over while my folks were still at work one summer. We thought it would be interesting to see what would happen if we lit different things on fire in the fire place, like acetone. (Actually, it was HIS weird idea more than mine.) We saw my folk's car coming down the street in front of the house and we panicked. Curtains were closed but sheer. We managed to snuff out the fire before the car was facing the house and thought we were in the clear. Nope. My mom burst in the door and started shouting at us about playing with fire, saying she saw us as the came up to the house. Nothing got past her.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
I thought until very recently that my mum never knew my brother, neighbour and I lit fires in the parkland next to our house, but I was wrong. She noticed the matches going missing, but for some reason never said anything. I'm surprised she didn't notice/say anything the time my brother's gumboot got melty after he stamped out a fire that we lost control of because it was lit in a container we thought was metal but turned out to be plastic!
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Zaach 1 year ago
When I was 14 I started drinking - by the time I was 16, I was a blackout drunk (I have miracle stories about how I am still alive - like driving 50 miles from a dance hall with no memory of the night at all). I am 75 and can have a beer with no problems - haven't got that drunk since I was about 25.
#39
I moved out to have an easier time having sex. They are very religious, one time, my mom found an a***plug in my room and grounded me for two weeks. They would probably disown me if they found out I have sex at all.
Miki 1 year ago
This religious people who pretend to be saint know more then you and me :D
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 1 year ago
They found a b******g and punished them, but didn't know they were having sex?
manu michael 1 year ago
The more isolated you are, the more desires you have ig...Like I personally think church people have more sexual frustrations than average joe.
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
They may have been religious, but how in the world, did your mom know it was an asp plug?
#40
The full extent of my criminal activity from about ages 16-28. I never got caught and I never really hurt anyone, but I was a troubled youth/young adult that struggled both with money and mental health issues so I lashed out. Not my mom's fault at all and it would k**l her to know EVERYTHING, she knows I wasn't squeaky clean since my teen years, hell, I'm not squeaky clean now, but I have a career and apartment and cars and credit. It took a long time to get here though. Sometimes i tell her about some of the smaller stuff early on and she's just glad im not doing that stuff anymore.
The Silly Stellar Jay 1 year ago
Hey what happens in your teenage years and through your twenties should sometimes stay there. It's good to move on.
Ms.GB 1 year ago
What happens in the 90s stays in the 90s...for me at least
Load More Replies... #41
I found my dad's p**n collection in our family pc.
He created so many folders and sub folders without knowing I can search it instantly. And when I found it out. **I added more of his collection lol.** when he noticed that he had more files. he immediately moved it to other folders which i know already lol.
Jason 1 year ago
You helped find porn for your dad? I guess there are all kinds of uh family bonds
LA Murphy 1 year ago
I can top that. I found my Dad's homemade porn pics with his girlfriend. I really wanted to pop my eyes out and boil them.
Charity Angel 1 year ago (edited)
If ever there was someone who needed Unsee Juice, you've just won the title
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censorshipsucks 1 year ago
well as long as it doesn't contain CP and you're over 18 who cares? I know lots of guys that share stuff like that.
LinkTheHylian 1 year ago
I hope these guys you know are doing life in prison.
Load More Replies... Kim Lorton 1 year ago
Lordy Lordy, my boy has 40, and I only started with less, now he knows what’s what is that, and is better at IT than me… wonder what I’ll find when looking in those folders, and how on earth did he manage to get in them??
Mermeow Overlord (they/she) 1 year ago (edited)
They censor porn now, now it will be hard to tell the difference between porn and p**n (pàwn).
Nicole Weymann 1 year ago
Love how they censored p.a.w.n., but not porn 😂
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
Wait. Is your father that republican senator who’s in treatment for a porn addiction along with his son?
Mermeow Overlord (they/she) 1 year ago
It sounds more like an invite to a family wank session than a porn addiction treatment.
Load More Replies... #42
When i was 16, i got away with a grand scheme™ to avoid being grounded forever. i had strict parents so i hid most things but this one was a big big deal because it was something i’d get in a LOT of trouble for and i was supposed to go on a school trip to New York a few weeks later and i knew they’d take that away from me. the story is long but it involved intercepting facebook messages, pretending to be my mom on the phone when my friend’s mom called to snitch, and lots and lots of lying. i might tell them eventually but it’s kinda getting funnier the longer i wait. oh also i got a tattoo on my a*s when i turned 18.
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
Lol! I think waiting until you are at least 30! Will be the right thing!
#43
What my grandpa did to me. My dad is gone now and I’ll never tell my mom.
AUndomiel 1 year ago
Perv grandpa may have done the same to whichever of your parents are his offspring. These things don't usually start that many generations away, so maybe bringing it up to your mother can bring some closure, and much needed empathy. \
Kim Lorton 1 year ago
Your parent child of your grandpa likely would’ve told the spouse. So they knew what the weird vibes were around him. But possibly not as perv grandpa did it to you. I a, very , very sorry
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Lyoness 1 year ago
There's a lot more to it than that. The survivor isn't protecting their abuser, they're protecting themselves and the people they love. Once people know that's happened to you they never look at you the same way again. That's not to say they don't love or support you, or that they judge you, it's just not a picture that ever leaves them. Frankly most people don't want to know you've been abused because they love you and they hate that you had to go through it. But most importantly, it's up to the abused person to decide what's right for them, and if sharing the trauma means reliving it, then it's not worth it. Trust me.
Load More Replies... SilverSkyCloud 1 year ago
its not my place to say what OP should have done, but if it were my children that this happened to then i would want to know
#44
They're morons. They can never know because they don't have the capacity for self-awareness.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
It's likely not needed. Mine were morons not in that they lacked education but that they lacked the notion that other people were allowed to disagree with them, that there was more than one valid point of view - or that theirs wasn't valid.
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dandylilah 1 year ago
same. i grew up and realized all of the adults in my family are dumb and do not know how to manage money.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
That they are right wingers I assume plays a big part in that analysis.
#45
They failed as parents I still love them but I sometimes I think them as just my responsibility.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
KimB 1 year ago
There was a lot I thought I hid from my parents (who were very strict) however I found out much later that my mom did in fact knew about. One big thing was the small parties I had. She knew because I over cleaned of all things! She never said anything because no cops were ever involved and no damage to property so in her mind no harm no foul my dad would not have been so lenient.
BarkingSpider 1 year ago
When I was a teenager I told my dad the damage in my car was a hit and run, but actually one of my best friends accidentally backed into me. Funny/stupid situation, and unfortunately said friend is no longer with us (unrelated to this incident), but I'll still never tell my dad.
Ms.GB 1 year ago (edited)
I almost went off the side of a mountain when I was a teen. My bf was driving the car and speeding, I had continually asked him to slow down. My dad would have been super pissed at me but he would have killed my bf as he didn't like him already. My life really did flash before my eyes. The car spun out and the last thing I remember it was headed straight over the side but in like half a second we were back in the middle of the road. It was bizarre. I remember thinking what if they don't find my body and my parents are gonna wonder what happened to me. I felt so bad.
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Kaeda 1 year ago
My mother was addicted to pain medication when she was pregnant with me and through all of my life with her. It led to bone deformations in my feet and an emotionally and mentally abusive childhood. Parents divorced and she turned to alcohol. I cut her out of my life when I was 20yo. and reluctantly let her back in when I was 29. She had been clean from alcohol and medications for almost a year. Now she's been clean for three years and is a brand-new person. She's funny, happy, and a wonderful grandmother to our children. My husband adores her too. Her memory is shot from the abuse of alcohol and d***s and she has filled the memories of my childhood with happy things that she has seen on TV and heard other people say. She is physically disabled now and does not have long to live. I won't tell her otherwise. She's been through total hell and barely scraped herself out of it. I will not send her back into that pit with the truth of the past. In this situation, ignorance is bliss.
Lydsylou (she/her) 1 year ago
I'm so glad that you got your mum back that must be such a hard thing to go through. Enjoy the time you have with her!
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
I never found the heart to tell my parents that I was adopted. The shock and surprise would have been too much for them.
Peppy 1 year ago
They probably knew, and were just trying to protect you too
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LinkTheHylian 1 year ago
I told my parents that I'm not religious when I was 10, however I was still made to go to church until I was 13 for obvious reasons. My step-dad recently brought it up with one of his sisters (my step-aunt?) and told her I was an atheist. One of a myriad things he gets wrong about me.
Load More Replies... Sunshine Lady 1 year ago
I was SA,d twice as a teenager. They will never know because they would blame me anyway. Also I was having desperate need of love and acceptance, leading to several relationships with the wrong guy, just because my father decided to go working in different country to avoid divorce. That I felt unloved and actually hated by my mother, because she gave birth to me when she was 17 (i was an accident) and she didn't love my dad. I'm glad I have new life with husband and kids now, I'm doing my best to end all bad practices and be better parent than them.
Littlemiss 1 year ago
May you find peace and good luck with your journey to be nothing like your parents. I understand completely.
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 1 year ago
I can't stand my mother and will not care for her in her old age. She has a narsacist type personality, that has come out more and more as she's aged. I'm waiting for her to die, so I can at last be free from her abuse.
rabbitthorn 1 year ago
There's a lot i hide now at 18, like how i've attempted multiple times in the past (how i thought of ways to do it when i was in elementary school. God.) hid self h_rm. the reason i can't stand being near men. how awful my dad is. i can't come clean to anyone; when i did, i was told it's all my fault. i can't tell anyone the truth about any of this and it eats me up inside
Tamra 1 year ago
I really wish you had access to mental healthcare. It would be so, so helpful. Sometimes our burdens are too heavy to carry alone, and therapy can help lighten the load.
Load More Replies... KimB 1 year ago
There was a lot I thought I hid from my parents (who were very strict) however I found out much later that my mom did in fact knew about. One big thing was the small parties I had. She knew because I over cleaned of all things! She never said anything because no cops were ever involved and no damage to property so in her mind no harm no foul my dad would not have been so lenient.
BarkingSpider 1 year ago
When I was a teenager I told my dad the damage in my car was a hit and run, but actually one of my best friends accidentally backed into me. Funny/stupid situation, and unfortunately said friend is no longer with us (unrelated to this incident), but I'll still never tell my dad.
Ms.GB 1 year ago (edited)
I almost went off the side of a mountain when I was a teen. My bf was driving the car and speeding, I had continually asked him to slow down. My dad would have been super pissed at me but he would have killed my bf as he didn't like him already. My life really did flash before my eyes. The car spun out and the last thing I remember it was headed straight over the side but in like half a second we were back in the middle of the road. It was bizarre. I remember thinking what if they don't find my body and my parents are gonna wonder what happened to me. I felt so bad.
Load More Replies... Kaeda 1 year ago
My mother was addicted to pain medication when she was pregnant with me and through all of my life with her. It led to bone deformations in my feet and an emotionally and mentally abusive childhood. Parents divorced and she turned to alcohol. I cut her out of my life when I was 20yo. and reluctantly let her back in when I was 29. She had been clean from alcohol and medications for almost a year. Now she's been clean for three years and is a brand-new person. She's funny, happy, and a wonderful grandmother to our children. My husband adores her too. Her memory is shot from the abuse of alcohol and d***s and she has filled the memories of my childhood with happy things that she has seen on TV and heard other people say. She is physically disabled now and does not have long to live. I won't tell her otherwise. She's been through total hell and barely scraped herself out of it. I will not send her back into that pit with the truth of the past. In this situation, ignorance is bliss.
Lydsylou (she/her) 1 year ago
I'm so glad that you got your mum back that must be such a hard thing to go through. Enjoy the time you have with her!
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 year ago
I never found the heart to tell my parents that I was adopted. The shock and surprise would have been too much for them.
Peppy 1 year ago
They probably knew, and were just trying to protect you too
Load More Replies... LinkTheHylian 1 year ago
I told my parents that I'm not religious when I was 10, however I was still made to go to church until I was 13 for obvious reasons. My step-dad recently brought it up with one of his sisters (my step-aunt?) and told her I was an atheist. One of a myriad things he gets wrong about me.
Load More Replies... Sunshine Lady 1 year ago
I was SA,d twice as a teenager. They will never know because they would blame me anyway. Also I was having desperate need of love and acceptance, leading to several relationships with the wrong guy, just because my father decided to go working in different country to avoid divorce. That I felt unloved and actually hated by my mother, because she gave birth to me when she was 17 (i was an accident) and she didn't love my dad. I'm glad I have new life with husband and kids now, I'm doing my best to end all bad practices and be better parent than them.
Littlemiss 1 year ago
May you find peace and good luck with your journey to be nothing like your parents. I understand completely.
Load More Replies... Littlemiss 1 year ago
I can't stand my mother and will not care for her in her old age. She has a narsacist type personality, that has come out more and more as she's aged. I'm waiting for her to die, so I can at last be free from her abuse.
rabbitthorn 1 year ago
There's a lot i hide now at 18, like how i've attempted multiple times in the past (how i thought of ways to do it when i was in elementary school. God.) hid self h_rm. the reason i can't stand being near men. how awful my dad is. i can't come clean to anyone; when i did, i was told it's all my fault. i can't tell anyone the truth about any of this and it eats me up inside
Tamra 1 year ago
I really wish you had access to mental healthcare. It would be so, so helpful. Sometimes our burdens are too heavy to carry alone, and therapy can help lighten the load.
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