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“His Mother Is Insufferable”: 50 Things People Keep Secret From Their Partners For Their Own Good
Being honest doesn't mean you need to share every single dream, thought, and action with people. We're entitled to keep certain things personal. However, where exactly is the line between privacy and secrecy? Especially when we're talking about someone we've committed to?
Reddit user Avaarini recently posted a question on the platform, asking those in relationships to use the guise of the internet and reveal anonymously what they're too afraid to tell their partners. From true feelings towards their relatives to having zero interest in their hobbies, here are some of the most memorable replies.
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#1
My fiancés grandfather always had a thing with dimes. My fiance says every time he sees a dime it makes him think of his grandfather.
For years I have been putting dimes in random places for him to find. I hope finding them makes him happy. He loved his grandfather so much.
Kiss Army 1 month ago
My dad always talked about pennies from Heaven so now that he is gone we associate pennies with him. My aunt associated dimes with my dad's brother (and my favorite uncle). When my brother passed away, I started finding a penny and a nickel together so often that I took it as a sign that my brother was with my dad. Now, when I go to the cemetery to visit them, I leave a penny, a dime and a nickel on each of there headstones to remember them and acknowledge that they are together.
RELATED:
#2
Shortly before we got married, both my parents (separately) tried to convince me to call off the wedding because they didn’t like my (then) fiancée.
It really shattered me because I admire my parents and typically would trust their judgement, but they were absolutely wrong.
I would never tell my (now) wife because she has severe anxiety/depression and is constantly struggling with believing everyone thinks the worst of her. No good would come from confirming her fears.
We’ve been married 6 years and still going strong, so take that parents!
UncleJon_TheMadScientist 1 month ago
Glad for you, it is really wonderful to truly feel that way. I wish you two all the best. Should have listened to my Dad when he thought I was rushing into marriage. It only took 33 years for me to finally admit it to myself, and now I'm with the woman I should have been with in the first place, my one true love my high school sweetheart. Best part is she feels the same, she admits to the same mistake.
Justbecause 2 weeks ago
My parents did the same, even on the morning of the wedding, told me not to go ahead with it. Been married 10 years, glad I made the choice I did.
Kalevra 4 weeks ago
Obviously, the parents saw that OPs wife was struggling with her mental health and only wanted what was best for their son. I dont see that as a bad thing as it would only be wrong if the discussion was "we hate her because she struggles with mental health." OP didn present his story with enough information for me to make a genuine decision.
#3
When my best friend found out she had cancer, my first thought was, "Oh God, I can't live without her."
It's been a really long time, if ever, since I thought I couldn't live without my husband.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
If my wife died, I would go on living. That would be one of the worst things about it.
Dilly Millandry 1 month ago
My husband nearly died from pneumonia last year. Certainly made me realise how very strongly he mattered to me and how awful it would be without him. I'll never forget that terror.
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Child of the Stars 1 month ago
My best friend is in her 70s--30 years older than me. While she is (currently) in excellent health for her age, I do often think about what I'd do without her. I'm not someone who is usually bothered by death, but the thought of her not being in my life scares me a little.
Mario Mohl 1 month ago
Well yeah, friend has cancer and you can only think of yourself... bet hubby was a decent guy.
#4
Sometimes I just want alone time and pretend I’m busy or tired so I can just chill by myself. It’s not that I don’t like hanging out, I just need a break sometimes.
Jaya 1 month ago
This is a very normal human need. The amount we need just varies among people. But it's very natural, and people shouldn't feel hurt when their partner tells them. I hope OP and their partner get to a point in their relationship where they can just say it honestly, instead of having to make up excuses.
Dilly Millandry 1 month ago
You're so right. Fortunately I've been able to say to my partner that I NEED space and time on my own and that it has nothing to do with how I feel about him. I love him very much and enjoy spending time with him. Just need to charge my batteries on my own. When I walk one of our dogs first thing in the morning, that is a walk I like to do with just my dog. Peace and nature first thing help me brace myself for the day!!
Load More Replies... Little Bit 1 month ago
Sometimes I book a day off work when I know my hubby will be at work and my kids will be at school/college so I can have a day to myself where I don’t have to go anywhere, see anyone or do anything.
#5
I have no clue what he's talking about when he rants about his nerdy superhero comics and shows and games but I love to see him take his time to enjoy anything at all. Past that though I don't care about any of it. I ask questions because he clearly wants to talk more about it though.
Ceecee 1 month ago (edited)
I do this for my husband regularly, hes into some pretty obscure weird stuff that I couldn't care less about but I love seeing how happy it makes him so that's what makes me love it. He does not do the same for me and a regularly tells me I talk about boring stuff haha
Midoribird Aoi 1 month ago
You see, I have a friend who I would not mind this with, if she didn't insist on ramming it down my throat so hard I start hating it.
Luke Branwen 1 month ago
Idk... it's just my opinion, but I think they'd both be happier if they found a partner who actually, enthusiastically shares their interests instead of just pretending to care. I'm very intense about my interests and if I ever found out my hypothetical partner only fakes her interest to placate me, I'd be extremely disappointed.
Zoe Vokes 1 month ago
If they love each other and are happy together, but OP doesn’t share one of his interests you don’t think they can be happy together? Is she supposed to let him know she doesn’t care every time he talks about superheroes. Because OP loves him so much that they’re prepared to listen to him talk about his interests for hours to make him happy.
Load More Replies... #6
I know he kisses my cheek every day before he leaves for work. I’m usually still asleep when he has to leave. Ever since we started spending nights together, if he had to leave while I was asleep he would give me the sweetest light kiss.
I’ll never tell him I know bc I don’t want to ruin the sweetness of it all. But I’ll cherish every kiss as long as I live💖.
Phil Green 1 month ago
As the giver of the work-departure kiss, for my wife (quite ill by the way), I can tell you it is the nicest thing to hear a very mumbled I'm-not-awake "I love you too"!
#7
I heard our baby say Dada before anyone heard her say Mama. I let my wife think Mama was her first word.
Jaya 1 month ago
Day care regularly hears kids say their first words or walk their first step, but only tell parents "I feel she's gonna try walking very soon", so they don't spoil that special moment for them.
Amy S 1 month ago
It does spoil it though, because we know what it means.
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Lee Gilliland 1 month ago
It still bothers me my son took his first steps in a battered woman's shelter.
Dilly Millandry 1 month ago
You were both safe, safer than you were before. That's all that matters.
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MalayDragon 1 month ago
Dad/Dada were the first word for both my kids. Which my wife likely resents me for. Just more ammo for arguments she wants to win.
#8
Family life is the most cognitively unfulfilling thing I have ever done. In addition to being constantly exhausted, overstimulated, and overwhelmed, I am so bored being a working mom and wife. And loving my husband and child does not lessen these feelings at all. .
Manic Mama 1 month ago
Thank you. It helps to hear that I'm not the only one who feels like this.
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
I get how she's feeling. I loved the years I got to spend as a SAHP, but it is not academically (for lack of a better word) challenging. I've always loved learning, so I found new things to learn. I learned to garden and sew and crochet. But when my youngest was about 4, I signed up at the community college for a class. Just one, an English class. It was like my mind woke up. It felt sooo good to be engaged in an academic setting again! I've had to set formal classes aside again now that I've gone back to work, but I found there are a TON of free academic stuff available online through sites like Kahn Academy, and I'm loving every minute of it.
More Information 1 month ago (edited)
No, the problems and boredom will still be there when we et home. We need more balance than a random vacay can provide. We often need a weekly socialization of some kind, that is more than grocery shopping and talking to our significant other about their days.
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Silje Olsen 1 month ago
But, its an exelent opportunity to deep read about the mind, down to the deepest level of human reactions and development. Like, you go from why and how does behavior affect etc, to how your reactions where created and made from your own choldhood, to are we just the result of dna given, our mold, and what is activated by our suroundings in time after birth until "you today"..so there is no soul..?.. its a rabbithole.
Mari 1 month ago
You can teach your kids more than you think. And you will benefit of this later. My kids were helping me in the kitchen, garden, helping to supervise their younger siblings, helping to take care of their grandma ect Now they are teens and they have more responsability and are more mature than other kids their age. It takes time to see the results of your education. Try a new hobby, teach yourself new skills, take lessons and communicate about your worries with your partner.
#9
I absolutely love it when he sings. He doesn't do it very often, and when he does, it's always really quiet. But every time I hear it, I stop what I'm doing so I can hear him better. The only reason I won't tell him is because I know he would stop if I brought attention to it, lol. I love this man 😌.
Luke Branwen 1 month ago
😆 I wish there was someone to look at me dreamily while I cook, singing along to Digimon theme songs in atrocious Japanese.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
I stopped singing around my boyfriend at all for like 10 years, because he would critique my singing, especially if it was a song that I wasn't singing EXACTLY like the OG band sang it. He'd literally pause the song, go back, make me re-sing parts so that I was singing them "exactly like" the original band/singer. Worst/best part? Dude can't even carry a tune AT ALL XD It's not something I ever threw in his face or criticized him about, though, because I'm not an a-hole XD
Undercover 1 month ago
My bf once sang in the shower: "Karma-Karma-Karma-Karma- chameleon, you can disguise, you disguise perfectly" 🤣🤣🤣 he studied zoology and i nearly cried of laughter
EmbersAreOut 1 month ago
Im trying to sing this in my head and im so confused as to the tune 😭😭 It sounds adorable tho
Load More Replies... #10
His mother is insufferable, but harmless to adults with self confidence and assuredness.
I don’t trust her with my kid unsupervised and I don’t want her to have 1 on 1 time when he’s old enough to comprehend her incessant spew of negativity and complaints about stuff that doesn’t matter because she’s afraid of silence.
#11
I no longer believe in our religion . . . In any religion.
Beak Hookage 1 month ago
Letting go of one's faith is incredibly hard, even when you're 100% sure it's not real. There's so much that ties into it. Friends, family, your social life... leaving a church or similar leaves a lot of people feeling incredibly alone. Sometimes, in the more toxic faiths, they literally *are* alone. That whole shunning thing is pure evil.
nottheactualphoto 1 month ago
I had no difficulty letting go of the religion in which I was raised. But it's still a part of our culture, and I do appreciate that.
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Dan St John 1 month ago
There are thousands of religions and millions of gods and each religion thinks they have the one and only true god. Delusion at its finest.
#12
I don’t want to be his everything. I want him to reconnect with friends and have a life outside of our kids, myself and his job.
Kim Karlotta 1 month ago
Perfectly reasonable. If anybody finds themselves in a similar situation, please tell your partner. It's a win for everyone.
Debbie 1 month ago
I did... And it didn't help. We eventually divorced. He still doesn't seem to have much of a life outside of our kids and his job
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Lou Cam 1 month ago (edited)
Yes agree, this is why I never say no to any of his friends meet-ups, after work drinks or weekends away. Not that he does it often really but I'm not going to stop him having friends and experiences beyond mine. People ask me why I "allow" him to do these things and get shocked when i dont have a coming home time planned. I'm shocked they think it's nornal behaviour to control their partner like they're a grounded teen.
Sue User 1 month ago
Same. Friday night, kids at moms ( step parent ) , just want some aline time. I would push him to go out, and the wives hated ne because i "allowed " him to " run around". My God, he is a grown man, not a dog.
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 1 month ago
I'm 100% in agreement here. I have a life I love without a relationship now, and if I were to become involved with someone again (no plans as yet, I'm enjoying being single), he would have to have one outside of me too.
#13
Her singing voice is... not good. Like really not good. But she's so happy singing in the car that I told her years ago she has a "unique tone." Now she thinks she could've gone pro. I will never tell her the truth.
Loudawg76 1 month ago (edited)
It’s people like this who allow their mate to go to American Idol or X Factor auditions. Please know that there are times when you have to be cruel to be kind!!
Wang Zhuang 1 month ago
Yeah. I think it's fine to keep the lie up, as long as she doesn't try to go on one of those shows. I feel sorry for people whose families and friends really make them believe they can sing well and they wind up on those shows where the sleazy producers know they suck and still put them on TV to embarrass them :-(
Load More Replies... UncleJon_TheMadScientist 1 month ago
I've so badly wanted to be a singer and I know.... I sing so badly people run and hide...
Dove Bradshaw 1 month ago
My husband at the time told me he knows I love him because I would sing with songs on the radio in front of him, he then told me he wished I didn't love him that much. Ha ha.
#14
I bought a backup of my wedding band incase I lost it, which I did less than a year after marriage.
#15
I absolutely loathe his brother. He’s the worst and I try to find all the excuses to bow out of family events.
#16
When he is playing certain video games and he gets stuck at a spot I will look up the answer on the internet and then vaguely say something or ask something to help prompt him to figure out the solution. He doesn't know that I do this and he just thinks I'm clever.
Belladonna Wexhome 1 month ago
Judge Judy - The oldest gamers are in their 60s (Commodore 64/atari anyone). Don't yuck someone's yum and don't tell a grown adult what they can do with their money.
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#17
He still talks about a time when our former roommate ate his candy without asking. I think I may have been the one who ate it. .
#18
I keep a backup gift and cards hidden at all times so I never forget a special day. I rotate it out every couple years.
Haven't had to use it yet, but I won't be caught without.
Key Lime 1 month ago
After Christmas one year, I was helping my Grandma put away her decorations. There were a couple of wrapped gifts under the tree. I asked who's gifts they were. Grandma said "Those were for folks that I didn't know were coming that didn't show up." I was perplexed but my Mum said she always had extra boxes of chocolates etc for unexpected company.
Kiss Army 1 month ago
I always have extra gifts on hand too so no one feels hurt or left out. I even do this at the office... when I see that others are exchanging gifts amongst each other but someone seems to be left out, they get a nice candle, box of chocolates, pen set, etc. from Santa.
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EDB 1 month ago
I have a gift cabinet filled with things I find on sale that would make good gifts
Betsy S 1 month ago
I have a box in the top of a closet that contains things I've found that I know would make good gifts. Before I go shopping I look through it to see if anything is suitable. I collect books from series as I come across them, and then gift the whole series when I've collected them all, etc. Right now I'm collecting two series' for my grandkids that they will be ready for in another 6 months to a year. By that time, I should have the whole set collected and they'll be the right age to receive those books.
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ILoveMySon 2 weeks ago
I have a cache of gifts for any occasion. Just yesterday, my neighbor mentioned it was her birthday for which I was unaware. She was overjoyed when I gave her a gift.
#19
I don’t like going to my husband’s friend’s weddings or any weddings where he knows a lot of people. Not because I don’t like his friends (and honestly I love dinner, speeches, etc) but because I think the time between an hour after the dance party begins and last call to be the longest hours of my life and I know he’d want to stay the full time.
My husband is an extrovert and is a lot of fun at parties so those hours blink by for him. Whereas, I can’t handle much alcohol at all (I go directly to sleepy, itchy AND need to puke—there is no “fun” tipsy stage for me). I really do want him to have fun so I spend the week mentally prepping to get through 1 late evening and then needing a whole day after to recharge my social battery. Luckily, my husband suspects nothing cuz he’s hungover 😆.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I've done power naps at all night cracks ons... maybe because I'm not on stimulants like most of them.
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LookASquirrel 1 month ago
None of that sounds healthy for the marriage. Serious lack of communication.
#20
Her lasagna tastes horrible.
glowworm2 1 month ago
My mother used to make one for Passover with matzah in it. Just to point out, on Passover, you can't have any foods that contain yeast in them. So yeah, I always thought that one was horrible.
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Learner Panda 1 month ago
I am not keen on lasagne, but it's the amount of slime (bechamel sauce) that kills it for me.
Kamilla Jakobsen 1 month ago
I rarely use bechamel in my lasagna, I usually just do the ragu, pasta and cheese.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
It's not often I will add salt/pepper to food, but sometimes needs must.
#21
The Tillamook ice cream is hidden behind the frozen broccoli.
Sara Frazer 1 month ago
And that's not Tillamook 🙂 Tillamook ice cream and cheese is sooooo dang good, tho. And butter! We are a Tillamook household!
Khavrinen 1 month ago
Once again, BP proves it can't match pictures to stories.
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Midoribird Aoi 1 month ago
Hide goodies where you know the others won't venture: in the bag of peas, at the bottom of the laundry basket, in your underwear drawer, in the drawer for Adults Only, hollow out a cabbage, behind the mothballs. Get creative.
Belladonna Wexhome 1 month ago
how big is the bag of broccoli and how much does your family hate it? Those are big ice creams!! (and soooo good)
#22
I promised I would never donate my husband’s clothes without asking, and I never have. I have however started a secret box for those v neck shirts that he takes off the hanger, wears for 5 minutes, remembers he doesn’t like v necks and then throws in the laundry. .
Nikki Sevven 1 month ago
I can't either. They make me feel like I'm being choked. Obviously, turtlenecks are out of the question...lol.
Load More Replies... Betsy S 1 month ago
The laziness of people to put something clean on, then immediately take it off and put it in the laundry instead of putting it away properly. And if you don't like it, don't put it in the laundry and make it someone else's problem. Fold it up and put it in the donation pile.
#23
I miss us from 10 years ago.
Mike F 1 month ago
H3ll, I miss ME from a decade ago. Everything seemed to be, to quote Robert McCloskey, eversomuchmoreso.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Same XD And 10 years ago, my dad was still alive, as was my best girl Wintressia...
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Sarah Bailey 1 month ago
I feel exactly the same.... the difference between then and now is so much so that if we were to meet now,... I believe, we would not get together.... I struggle to picture our future , and it saddens me so, so much.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I miss my pre-covid life when I was not the only one left in the village and could see friends every day if I wanted. They all moved out of London because they suddenly realised they could.
#24
Religious wise we’re not supposed to eat pork. I’ll eat some on my work trips 😂.
liam newton-harding 1 month ago
An all powerful god that tells you what to eat...what to wear...through his duly appointed, male representatives on Earth, of course...comes across as...petty.
Manos 1 month ago
Dietary rules had a food safety benefit back in the day. Now it is a sign that you are paying attention to your beliefs.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 1 month ago
Back in the day, there were sound reasons for these rules. You might die from eating trichinosis-infested pork. Shellfish? Not without refrigeration. Tattoos and such? No autoclaves.
Farah (she/her) 1 month ago
Ah, a Muslim? I once ate pork because I wanted to taste it. It isn't much of a difference. I can live without it (that's just me, though)
#25
My partner passed away in 2021 from sudden cardiac arrhythmia.
But for a few years before his passing, he was distant. Every time I wanted to cuddle was met with a "but it's boring for me to just sit there while I brush your hair with my fingers." And I stopped asking.
On social media I started following van life pages and started day dreaming about living in a van, traveling, and just be free.
I loved my husband but a part of me wanted more and he didn't want that. So day dreaming became my little escape.
And then he passed away.
I've been feeling guilty of manifesting his passing, or like the universe was telling me: Well your marriage isn't perfect but at least you're not alone. But you don't appreciate it so I'm taking it away from you".
And I've been feeling bad ever since but never told anyone by fear of sounding crazy.
Dragon mama 1 month ago
This is not crazy. This is survivor's guilt. Grief is a strange and twisted beast. I hope this person found support, it helps a lot
murmelinpaiva 1 month ago
If wishing was enough to make it so, the orange guy would have been dead and gone a long time ago.
Kalevra 4 weeks ago (edited)
God job interjecting your political beliefs into a genuine grief story. Your friends must be clamoring to get the chance to hang out with you.
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Andrea Fucciollo 1 week ago
Darling, you may think that it was providential but whether it was or not, it doesn’t matter. He’s gone. You’re here. Move on, enjoy life, be grateful, be happy. You deserve it, no guilt.
#26
I love her more than she'll ever know. I wish she looked at me the way I look at her.
GlitterPanda 1 month ago
I went to a wedding where the vows were similar "I promise to spend my life trying to love you as much as you love me" and they didn't last two years
Philly Bob 1 month ago
It's a sad thing when you're with the person who means the world to you knowing you don't mean as much, if anything, to them.
#27
I wanted to break up with my ex for 1.5 years before we actually broke up but didn’t because our small town had labeled us as ‘soulmates’ from the first week of us dating and I was afraid that my reputation would be messed up. Moved to a big city, we broke up, and I feel so much happier with my life. Never realized how one sided the relationship was until recently.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
The key to a long-term relationship is knowing the difference between soulmates and cellmates.
#28
She's a huge Harry Potter fan, but I absolutely hate it. We do a Harry Potter marathon at least once a year and whenever we travel I look for Harry Potter novelty shops to take her. Our house is littered with HP collectibles. She knows I'm not the biggest fan, but not that I cringe at the thought of Harrry Potter.
Sara Frazer 1 month ago (edited)
Boyfriend and I do a "Lord of the Rings" marathon at least once a year, usually in the autumn when we can cozy up in blankets with a drink. We've actually been doing it this week. We're about to watch the last disc! Difference is we both absolutely love LOTR, grew up reading the books, the Hobbit, etc...don't get us started on the Hobbit movies, tho .... 😹💀
EmbersAreOut 1 month ago
I feel you. Im a MASSIVE lotr fan, and the Hobbit is probably my favorite book of all times. The Hobbit movies tho? Absolutely not. I made it halfway through the first one and refused to continue watching.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 1 month ago
Ugh, glad that's not me. I used to be a big fan but by now I'd be more than happy to never hear of that overrated franchise ever again.
Luke Branwen 1 month ago
Same. Ever since liking HP became associated with some of the most atrocious worldviews a person can have, I'm more than okay with cutting it off from my life. TBH it's no big loss.
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Paige Merlin 1 month ago
What is that drink? It looks like milk with chocolate chunks and Nutella on top?
Little Bit 1 month ago
Some of my husband's favourite movies bore me senseless and when we watch them I just drift off into my own thoughts.
Mike F 1 month ago
Take a pill. Everyone has their little guilty pleasures, yours seems to be being a pri©k.
Load More Replies... #29
I deeply fear that his naivety will slowly but surely lead him down an alt right path as we age, as a woman of color I see some red flags I know I should not be ignoring.
Sara Frazer 1 month ago (edited)
Then let this be your wakeup call to stop ignoring them. If you're in America, and he is voting/supporting "the right", the party he's supporting is actively, *very* intentionally harming the BIPOC community. The orange bàstàrd and his flying monkeys are doing all they can to make this a conservative white America. Think about them designating ANTI-FÀSCÍST organizations as "domestic térrorists", but not batting an eye at any white supremacist group, most of which are very known to be víolent. It's not even a secret, that scúmbag and his appointed cronies are openly ràscist and don't see many people as human. They don't care about people dyíng, ruining lives, tearing families apart... Big surprise coming from some fúckàss daddy's boy who never worked a day in his life and worships Reagan. Sorry for the rant, this is just repeating again, and, it's somehow more terrifying than the first time. Because now we know there's enough people in this country who support those ideologies to have had orange bàstard 2.0 happen. That's my Ted talk lol
Beak Hookage 1 month ago
Oh yeah, that lot have been saying the quiet part very, VERY loud for some time now. It's repulsive. And evil.
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#30
I kinda think she sucks at parenting. Her temper is short and she's got no patience for mistakes that little kids commonly make. Like my kiddo is sick and had the runs for the second time ever in his life and pooped his pants this morning. I helped him clean up the mess, get in the shower, get all cleaned up, clean his underwear, get everything down to the washing machine, etc. Told him how this happens when we're sick, can't trust a fart, don't worry about it. Then she finds out and her immediate response is anger and annoyance, as if he did it on purpose to make her life harder, and she remained annoyed even after she found out that it'd all already been taken care of. I'm glad he came to me first because her response probably just would have made him cry, and he was already feeling embarrassed about it.
She's good at some other aspects of parenting, it's not like it's all bad. And I'm definitely not trying to say I'm perfect at it myself, but it seems crazy to me that she's surprised the kids always want to spend time with me instead of her when they're given the option.
Sara Frazer 1 month ago (edited)
Uh, no, she sounds like a terrible parent. That's just mean. That's a time you should be comforting and caring for your child, not thinking about yourself. Maybe give the children the chance to not have to live with that negativity... narcissistic, screaming, abúsive mothers who put down their own children are not good for anyone...ask me how I know 🙃 the children will spend their lives trying to win her affection and approval, which won't come. Until they (hopefully) realize and stop trying. Again, ask me how I know ...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Yep, OP's wife sounds like my mom. I still remember falling off my bike and scraping my shin badly when I was maybe 6ish, running to my mom, and her immediate, instant response was to backhand me because I had gotten maybe 3 drops of blood onto the kitchen tile floor. (Joke was on her for that, because she cut my lip open and I bled more, lol.) But yeah - my dad became my "default parent" for ANYTHING serious/comforting VERY early on. He's the one who taught me how to use tampons, because I disgusted my mom for starting menstruation at age 11 (she... apparently expected me not to start until I was 16+?) I used to try to win her affection/love well into my teen years and then just... stopped. Now my older sister (parents' bio child and mom's golden child) says I will "regret not spending more time with Mom" after mom's dead. lol nope, I'm good XD
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 1 month ago
I'm childless but I used to work in childcare and one kid didn't make it to the toilet quick enough. Poor thing was crying, super embarrassed and upset. I had no training for this sort of thing but managed to improvise and help her get cleaned up because what else was I going to do? Now I'm imagining how horrible it would have been if I or any of the grown-ups involved (including the father, who reacted by saying "well say thankyou!") had gotten ANGRY instead. That's just a horrible way to treat any kid.
Belladonna Wexhome 1 month ago
And that is why i chose not to have children. No child should have to live with a parent who struggles with emotional regulation.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
He is always going to go to you if that is how she responds. She needs to understand that and it needs to be explained gently.
Dusty's mom 1 month ago
She needs a parenting therapist. When you're not home your child is at the mercy of a ping-pong parent. Don't do this to your child!
Ginger ninja 1 month ago (edited)
The mom is abusïve. I’m childless because I know I dont have the patience or temperament to deal with children 24/7 but even I wouldnt get angry with a child for being ill and having an accident. Yes it might be annoying and disgusting to deal with but its no ones fault, it happens to adults too. Why make a sick child feel even worse?
#31
His mom's strong attachment to him comes off as incestuous.
Sometimes I wonder if in the toxic relationship and lack of emotional intimacy with her husband, she tried to fill it with inappropriate pseudo-romantic emotional intimacy with her son. And he's too oblivious to realize she's not the traditionally caring but overbearing parent with occasional boundaries issues that he thinks she is. This feels weirder and I feel so deeply uncomfortable being in the middle of this. If she *could* date him, I feel like she would.
I don't like visiting his family because of this. And I don't know if I can do their once a week family meetup schedule. Another family, sure, but maybe not his. It's not because of anxiety or any of the other excuses I come up with when I really don't feel alright going. It's because I feel this sense in the back of my mind, this underlying warning of something inappropriate going on. Even before I could identify it, I have had these sudden moments where I feel the same swooping dread in my gut and urge to protect him from her, that I feel for my neices when there's an unsafe man around them. I have no option but to ignore it and try to build a relationship with her, but I feel so uncomfortable, more than I can describe, trying to navigate this.
Ace 1 month ago
Or the poster is seeing something that isn't really there, misinterpreting signals, imagining motives... I hope so, anyway, for her sake.
Load More Replies... Snackmachine 1 month ago
Your gut could be right. Almost always is. It may not be exactly the scenario that you're initially thinking, but there is very likely huge issues
#32
We have a very large age gap and the only issue I have with it is that he most likely won't live long enough for us to retire together. I love him so much but chances are he won't be here for my 40th birthday and that hurts so much. I'll never tell him this because there's nothing he can do about it and it's unfortunately my burden to bare.
Sara Frazer 1 month ago
Partner and I have been together 10.5+ years, we're life partners, he's almost 6 years older than me, which really isn't much, but Parkinson's runs in the men on his dad's side of the family...I really fear for that...his dad however is late 60s and still going strong; rebuilding vintage cars, still working (he doesn't need to, he just does) and still takes dirt-biking vacations. So, I'm hopeful... 🥲
Ginger ninja 1 month ago
Get him doing brain teasers and puzzles ect. They’re scientifically proven to help keep the mind strong
Load More Replies... Jaya 1 month ago
I don't think this one should be kept secret. Sharing your pain with your partner is not about them being able to fix the problem for you, it's about not having to suffer alone and in silence, but to have someone who can comfort you when you feel bad. I wanna know when my partner feels bad, so I stand next to him, so I can comfort him. And I want him to know when I feel bad, so he can comfort me. Regardless of whether a problem can be fixed or not.
#33
I gave her her first award on reddit.
I had a stupid post blow up and make front page, getting platinum. Ofc wife heard about it, she told me she'd never gotten an award.
I knew her acc from a 2 redditors 1 cup moment, so a few days later I anonymously gave her an award on one of her silly comments. Man she was over the moon higher than I was with my dumb post, I'll never take that light away from her, even if she probably doesn't even think about it anymore.
#34
Teasing me for falling asleep between 8:30-9pm so that I can get up by 5am to make sure everyone has everything ready to go before they get up is really annoying now.
Jaya 1 month ago
OP should tell their partner, this is important information for the partner to know, the partner should be aware of all the effort OP puts into it. And to divide the tasks and mental load better, if OP is doing much more than half the share. In many relationships one parent (usually the mom) carries the mental load for the whole family and puts way more effort into making sure the household runs smoothly than the other parent realizes.
kissmychakram 1 month ago
Tell them now, before you get so annoyed that you snap at them. They can't correct behaviour (them not helping you is more likely the problem, not the teasing) that they don't know about.
Sarah 1 month ago
This calls for you to be needed at a family small Emergency for a long weekend.: actually no.. mid week when school is on. And dad now has to sort uniforms and lunches, take control of the situation- take the wheel nit the back seat. He’ll never understand or Appreciate until he experiences first hand
#35
I've been planning to break up with him for weeks but I'm trying to get things sorted for moving out before I do it. I've already mourned the break-up that hasn't even happened. I don't think he has any idea about what's coming and I'm starting to feel like an awful person the longer I wait.
Lene 1 month ago
I am struggling to find a place to live with my kids. Have been looking since June and still nothing that is big enough for us. It s***s. So I just try to stay under the radar and keep things going. It is f-ing rough on a daily basis and I wish for luck with getting an offer on a rental home every single day. Am sometimes considering abducting someone so I can take over their place. 😏
Mike F 1 month ago
You really got up on the wrong side of your web today, didn't you?
Load More Replies... #36
During the pandemic, we were international students who lost our part-time jobs. Money was tight, even for paying rent. Every time we ate, I told my boyfriend (now fiancé) that I was full and ate less, so he could eat more, even though I was still hungry.
Sara Frazer 1 month ago
I realize now it's probably ai, but this pic is so weird, like, they're sharing a tiny plate of tiny pancakes, she's eating them with a spoon, and he's just gonna...grab a pancake?? I'm sick with fever so maybe this is bothering me more than it should.. 🫠😹
Beak Hookage 1 month ago
Just goes to show a photo doesn't have to be AI generated to be really weird and vaguely off-putting.
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Sarah 1 month ago
Oh how I just love sitting on the floor looking cute and pastoral. No need for any drinks. One cutlery piece to share for all that runny chocolate and not a napkin on sight. So fun and cutesy and coupley. What are they leaning against? A flimsy curtain? All laughs until she gets a spill of scalding choc sauce on her thigh . I must go prepare my little patch on kitchen floor for dinner later - can’t wait. And I must fknd my cuddly socks
#37
I hate having to tell him to shower. It makes me feel like his mother.
Ripley 1 month ago
Um . . . no. Assuming that he's a grown up he should be responsible for his own hygiene. It's not OK to have to tell an actual adult they need to shower.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 month ago
Take a shower yourself and invite him in. This has been known to work.
#38
Sometimes I’m afraid if we are dating because we are both going through rough times in our lives and lean on each other for comfort or if we are genuinely compatible for a long term relationship.
#39
I hate the ring he got me for our engagement 😶
I had dropped hints and showed him rings I did like when we were out, which were simple bands. What he made was gorgeous, but it was also bulky, huge, super flashy. I was also really uncomfortable with how much he spent on it - I think upwards of $10-$15k if I had to guess.
It kept snagging on my clothes (it put a hole through my favorite fuzzy sweater!), getting in my way, and I was paranoid about something happening to it if I went out. Once I got a $90 “travel band,” I stopped wearing the other one altogether except for special occasions.
We’ve been married nearly 5 years. I think he knows it, but I would never, ever say it.
Lou Cam 1 month ago
Easy solution, juat go and buy them together. I guess people arent as practical as me and my husband. The engagement was "do you want to get married?" Agreed, and then went and bought the ring together. I got him a nice watch too.
Carrie Laughs 1 month ago
Snap! Discussed and agreed the marriage thing and chose the ring together.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 1 month ago
Every time I'm considering a new ring, I do the pocket test: can I put my hand in and out of my pocket without it coming off?
Betsy S 1 month ago
I specifically requested one that was not proudly mounted because a woman needs to put her hand in her jeans pocket without damaging her finger or her clothes. I much prefer channel set stones or at the very least stones that are set partially down and do not protrude much from the band.
Load More Replies... Dusty's mom 1 month ago
Good jewelry made correctly should not be this cumbersome. At least take it to a jeweler who can make sure the settings are secure, with no points that catch. While there, see if the setting can be pared down a little between the fingers. If you develop arthritis, this ring set will be even more uncomfortable.
Ginger ninja 1 month ago
Put it in a necklace? Or have it restyled into another ring/bracelet/necklace?
#40
Her favorite kind of music is my absolute least favorite kind of music.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
It was the same with my ex and I XD Surprisingly, I never got to pick the music we listened to. Mostly it was okay because his favorite was 90s/grunge rock era stuff (think Tool and Weezer), which I also love, but man, for so many years I missed listening to my 80s power love ballads unless I was alone/in the car XD
Karen Bryan 1 month ago
"A friend is someone who can't stand the same kind of music you can't stand."--Snoopy and Schroeder, kicking a radio
Jude Corrigan 1 month ago (edited)
Driver drives and picks the music, shoʻtgùn shuts his cake hole!
#41
She snores louder than me.... and that's a lot!!
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Agreed. My ex and I had to sleep in separate rooms during the 3 years we lived together, because we BOTH snore - he complained about my snoring and made me get a CPAP machine (after a sleep study), but absolutely refuses to get his own breathing issues checked out. He not only has apnea WORSE than I do, he STOPS BREATHING for 15+ seconds at a time at night. He'll sort of snort-choke/struggle to breathe before he starts breathing again, but it doesn't wake him up - but it used to SNAP me awake out of sleep in absolute panic every time, though. But nope, *HE* doesn't have any medical issues, of course, just me :p
Load More Replies... 
#42
My husband is the only “golden” child and it shows in everything he does. Coming from the oldest of 4 it can be a really big turn off.
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
He was an only child and so got the best of everything and was spoiled. She was the oldest and probably had to parent and make sacrifices each time a new one came along.
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#43
His family is all horrifically toxic and he’s not like them at all. They’re so narcissistic and toxic.
#44
We aren't together anymore but when she lived with me I would sometimes watch her sleep and write poetry about her / to her.
#45
Sometimes, when I hear him coming to bed, I pretend to be fast asleep so I don't have to talk about his exhausting day at work.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Wonder if OP expects him to listen to whatever OP wants to talk about, though (OP's day/work/friend gossip/etc.) that could be just as exhausting to him.
Learner Panda 1 month ago
I used to try that to avoid s*x. It never worked, so I divorced him. (Other reasons too.)
#46
That she is *just like* her mother.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
My wife's mother was a darn fine person. And raised her daughter to be one too.
S Bow 1 month ago
This depends. My mother was a wonderful person, she loved Mr. Sbow and he loved her.
Load More Replies... #47
I hate almost everything he watches on YouTube, especially clips of shows. I would rather watch the tv show.
MalayDragon 1 month ago
Get your own login/profile, curate your own recommended videos and channels, Problem solved.
#48
Sometimes I wonder if I’m in the right relationship and if my partner is truly for me. I always come around to the answer is yes. This is my first long term relationship, and my entire life I’ve had unrealistic expectations for what love looks like, feels like, and what it truly means.
Luke Branwen 1 month ago
IMO if you have to wonder and convince yourself like that, the answer is "no".
Ace 1 month ago
IMO the continual reaffirmation could well be a good thing. Sounds like they're not very far into it and are a little insecure. They should share this with their partner. Carefully.
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#49
I've had the "I hate you/I'm mad because of my dream" moment but the dream itself was so horrendous that idk if I'll ever tell it to anyone.
SpiderWoman13 1 week ago
The dream helps you deal with the deep-seated fear that you're afraid to face. What's scary is that when it's horrendous you don't understand why it's in your subconscious at all. But I've had enough wild dreams when very sick with a high fever to know that there are some very, very dark things in our subconscious...
Load More Replies... #50
I buy booster packs for my games on my phone.
Catmom 1 month ago
What does this mean? What are the implications of telling / not telling about this in a relationship?
Emilu 1 month ago (edited)
I’m assuming they’re talking about the expensive things that make the game go faster/let you get stronger/play longer and the possible financial repercussions. The dearer packs are generally upwards of $100 a pop. Please don’t ask me how I know this.
Load More Replies... #51
Miss being single sometimes.
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
This seems like a normal thing. And it's okay to feel it. Relationships are hard work. They take time and effort. It's normal to sometimes feel like you want the freedom of being single. That's why it's becoming more commonplace to do things like separate vacations. I sometimes feel this way about my kids. I love them completely. I love being a mom. But I also cherish the times when they're at their dad's or their grandparents.
#52
I accidentally saw my father-in-law kissing another woman. I took a photo of it, but he didn't notice. The next time we met, I showed him the photo without a word.
He confessed that he has been cheating on his wife for years with this woman.
He swore to me that he would stop seeing her if I didn't tell his wife. I haven't told her, and I haven't told my wife either. And I will never tell because I don't want to destroy the family.
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago
If you do tell them one day, you won't be the one destroying their family. The cheating father-in-law would be responsible.
#54
He could have better friends.
#55
Her breath kind of stinks most of the time and I think it’s because she neglects flossing 2x/day.
My O My 1 month ago
Yeah, that's probably not the reason if she brushes at least once a day. How is her stomach?
Kristin 1 month ago
Low key mt biggest fear is having stinky breath lol been with my husband 15 years and ill get up earlier than him some days just to brush my teeth so I dont have morning breath 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤦♀️around him but then again I still get butterflies with him 😊😊
Unkeptwoman 1 month ago
3 months sugar free! What a difference it makes in everything!
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 1 month ago
But flossing is only recommended for once a day. Brushing is twice.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
I floss after every meal, and sometimes after I snack. Can't stand the feeling of stuff in my teeth/gums. My dental hygienist has never told me to floss less XD
Load More Replies... #56
I find his hairs in the shower about as much as I find my own which corresponds with his hair thinning a bit on top.
He’s blind as a bat without his glasses so he doesn’t see his hairs in the shower. As far as I know he doesn’t realize he’s beginning to thin in the crown area.
Even though I find him as attractive as ever and love him no matter his hair status, I will not be telling him as I know it would probably affect his self esteem.
MoMcB 1 month ago
Some men lose their hair in their 20’s. And although I’m a woman and have not lost my hair, I’ve been extremely short sighted since I was 5.
Load More Replies... #57
I put his clothes out on the top of the laundry basket so he can find them easier in the morning, but still feel like he was the one who found them.
#58
My favorite flowers are lilies, not tulips.
Nova yt 1 month ago
I used to love lilies until my bff told me they smell like funeral homes and are funeral flowers and are very toxic to pets so many change yours to tulips like my friend made me change mine lol.
roddy 1 month ago
How silly, lilies smell like lilies. And tulips are toxic to pets. Just keep the pets away from your flowers. Negative associations are on him. Does he shiver every time he sees someone in a suit. But people wear them at funerals.
Load More Replies... Kristin 1 month ago
I didnf know lilies are toxic to animals for a lomg time. I have 2 maine c**n cats, one male and one female and they are my favorite flowers causei also love the smell, my husband knows this so for my day he'd always have roses and lilies delivered. I was reading one day and came across the info of toxicity. They got put outside immediately (flowers). I felt so bad.knowing I had them around my fur babies but thankfully only happened twice and they are healthy as ever. Male is Captain pushing 22lbs and female Baby is 18lbs
Kiss Army 1 month ago
I never had a favorite flower but when we were dating, my husband asked my sister what my favorite flowers were and she told him daisies. (She admits she didn't know so she made something up.) Well, for months he brought me daisies and I started to associate daisies with him and they became my favorite flower and still are 33 years later.
#59
I actually like her waaaaaay more than I let on 😔.
Alyce 1 month ago
Maybe its not something she wants to hear. Being someones whole world can be stressful, particularly if they have any issues with intimacy
Load More Replies... #60
I sometimes want to leave the state and be selfish and explore the country and because he doesn’t like traveling I don’t. He knows I want to but he won’t budge not yet at least.
Otto Katz 1 month ago
My son and his wife have been married almost 12 years. She travels, has a goal of going to every state. He rarely goes with her, preferring to stay home and go to work, he loves his job. She goes, takes pictures, brings him home a present, and gets to see the country. They have a wonderful relationship.
Spencers slave no more 1 month ago
That is truly heartwarming and proof that couples absolutely do not need to live in each other's pockets. As the old saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Load More Replies... Belladonna Wexhome 1 month ago
I get wanting to see these places with "your person" but f - em - don't let him stop you!! My aunt and uncle have been happily married for over 50 years and have ALWAYS taken separate vacations!
#61
He is an only child with a stay at home mom, so everything is always about him…
He is whining too much and it is a turn off. He is sometimes like a child.
Spencers slave no more 1 month ago
A "Mama's boy" will always be exactly that, whatever his age.
#62
I’m pretty quick at crosswords. Sometimes if I know the answer before they do, I’ll pretend like I don’t so they can guess first.
#63
I hate his long hair. He says he wears it that way for me because I didn't want him to get a buzzcut - but that doesn't mean I wanted shoulder length, unwashed hair. He doesn't take proper care of it so it's brittle and scratchy.
Now he says it's the first style he's felt comfortable with so I can't bring myself to tell him I hate it. .
Spencers slave no more 1 month ago
Properly cared for long hair on guys can look amazing. Dirty, unkempt long hair looks and smells disgusting, on anyone.
#64
He has a friend that we hang out with on a very regular basis. We've known him and his family for a long time. The thing that he does not know and I will never tell him is that I've known this friend for a lot longer than him. I was the reason our friend's last marriage ended. This was before we had even met, but it was a pretty dark selfish time for me and I was a home wrecker.
#65
That i also like woman 🤭.
#66
My wife turned into someone I never would have married after having kids and it makes me wish we never had them.
#67
There was about a 2 week wait between when we were approved to adopt our dog and the day we took her home. During that time I would go every day to the shelter and spend a few hours with the dog by myself to bond with the puppy. The dog likes me a lot more and my wife is super jealous sometimes.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
My 4-year-old tuxedo boy, Preacher, was my adoption/my cat. But my boyfriend and him really bonded - to the point where bf got Preacher his own chair at his desk, and always shared cat-safe bits of his lunch with Preacher. When Preacher got sick (wet FIP) and the treatment was a series of painful twice-daily injections, I was the one who gave the injections, as I'd had a cat with kidney failure so I was familiar with administering injections to my pets. I think Preacher never really forgave me for 84 days of painful injections :( And he truly loved my bf WAY more than he loved me. When I moved home a year ago, I brought my void girl Kohl with me, but I left Preacher with my ex. It tore my heart in half, but Preacher is much happier with ex than he would be with me, so it was the best decision for my cat. My ex used to get furious at me whenever I'd tell people that Preacher loved him more because he fed him bits of his lunch.
hannahbahngswife 1 month ago
Did you recently break up and now cannot stand anything close to relationships or-? Because tell me how the f**k can 13-year olds singlehandedly adopt pets. Without considering your previous comments.
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What do you think ?
Nancy Bania 1 month ago
Everyone loved my husband thinking he was so patient, kind and understanding. In truth, he was cold, unemotional and a wimp. That's the secret I held for years.
Ginger ninja 1 month ago
God I wish you could block some accounts in here so you dont have to see their comments
Nancy Bania 1 month ago
Everyone loved my husband thinking he was so patient, kind and understanding. In truth, he was cold, unemotional and a wimp. That's the secret I held for years.
Ginger ninja 1 month ago
God I wish you could block some accounts in here so you dont have to see their comments
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