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39 Sassy One-Liners People Have Actually Used To Wreck A First Date In 60 Seconds
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you meet up with your date and realize – so not a fit? The scariest thought about it is what if they don't think the same, what if they expect something more?
So, you have to come up with something to make sure it won't happen. And, well, yapping nonsense quite often does the trick. Only problem – doing so requires quite a talent, not everyone can blab on the spot. That's why we prepared today's list – it's full of ideas on what to say when you're sure you don't want that second date. So, buckle up and let's go on this wild ride!
More info: Reddit
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#1
I can do it in 3 seconds: “I voted for Trump.”.
JudyfromAccounts 2 months ago
The 2nd red flag is that it took them 3 seconds to say those four words.
Michael Largey 2 months ago (edited)
You can save the situation with "I voted for Trump - and boy, am I sorry!"
Geobugi🇰🇷🇰🇭 2 months ago
So? Somebody voted for someone you dislike and that makes them a terrible person? Everybody who voted for him is a maga nutjob? You do not care to ask why and also do not care about the rest of the person? How democratic
Nikole 2 months ago
Everyone who voted for him knew where he stood. They voted for racism, bigotry, ignorance, misogyny, and the list goes on.
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#2
So, do you see this going somewhere? Because my parents really want grandkids soon, and I already showed them your LinkedIn.
#3
You look so different when I'm not looking at you through binoculars.
Dating isn’t an easy thing; we probably don’t have to tell you this – you already know. Even if you’re not actively participating in dating, you've likely heard about it from other people. After all, romantic relationships are heavily intertwined in our day-to-day lives, whether we like it or not.
Each stage of it has its own challenges, and they always seem scary until you overcome them. And if you don’t, you have to start all over again, which is one of the reasons why dating is so difficult in the first place.
#4
Thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me, my parole officer couldn’t believe it when I was telling him about you. “Just remember how you ended up in this situation” is all he could say lol.
#5
"I hope you don't mind, i brought my mum along".
#6
“Can we move to the restaurant across the street? I can’t be within so many yards of a school.”.
So, what are these challenges? Well, we’re not going to discuss every stage of dating in detail today, as it would take too much time we don’t have, so we’re going to focus on only one of them – first dates and what kind of scary stuff they bring along.
Probably the scariest thing about first dates is that it’s all about first impressions. Even if you’re going out with someone you already know well, like a friend, you’re now in a different context with them, which puts you in the 'first impression' territory – now they will judge you as a possible romantic partner instead of just a friend.
The thing about those first impressions is that we as humans are wired to judge each other rather quickly. It might take only seconds to form an opinion on someone, and it might be relatively hard, but not impossible, to change it.
#7
Hey i hear you're looking for a stud, ive got the std all i need is u.
#8
"Oh s**t! Duck! Sorry, I thought that was my wife".
Jeya Mackelle 2 months ago
If it was, I'd stand up and wave like a maniac and call her over! "Hi! My name is (J)! Is this man your husband? He is? Odd. Welp, enjoy the rest of your night."
Seadog 2 months ago
I know women who would be more enticed by this. They're only interested in married men. The greater the chance of being caught, the more they like it. Guy gets divorced, they lose all interest.
tori Ohno 2 months ago
The ones I know do it because they think they're "better" and "special" because a married man chooses them over his wife. They don't seem to understand the "birds of a feather" cliche. Scum is attracted to scum
Load More Replies... #9
"I forgot my wallet. I'll just eat whatever you don't finish.".
Tucker Cahooter 2 months ago
In that situation I would make sure I scoff everything down, even licking the knife and fork clean
We usually start judging each other by appearance – facial shape, attractiveness, fashion choices, and stuff like that. Then come things like vocal inflection and emotional states that aren’t typically noticeable at first sight, but maybe with a second glance. All of it can take only seconds, thus becoming the very first impression.
So, we would all want to believe that we should judge a book by its cover or a person by the way they look, but it’s just not realistic, at least not in the society we currently live in. You know, as Galinda from the Wicked musical sang in the song Popular: “It's not about aptitude, it's the way you're viewed; So it's very shrewd to be; Very, very popular like me.”
#10
I dated a guy who told me that he already had the names for our first 3 kids on our one and only date and minutes into it. I noped out of there.
The Other Guest 2 months ago
Good lord, and I thought the guy that named our kids after two weeks of dating was bad.
Nils Skirnir 2 months ago
50 years ago it used to be a viable pickup line. I really hope times have changed for good
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Laserleader 2 months ago
Apparently, my parents had names for 5 kids before any were born. Had 7 kids then divorced because his parents died and he was actually a cheating homosexual.
#11
When they show up, look at them with a flat expression, then say:
“…really?” “Well, I’m sure you did your best.”
If that doesn’t do it, you can add: “Actually, I’m really good at making the best of bad situations. You can still pay for our date!”.
#12
Hmm... Here is a wet wipe, show me how you really look under all those layers.
And she’s not fully wrong – making a good impression by the way you look can end up being beneficial for the further impressions you make. Here, there’s this phenomenon called “the halo effect” – it’s a cognitive bias when people see one good thing about another person, which makes their further judgments appear in a more positive light from that point on.
Granted, the halo effect doesn’t necessarily work only with appearance; the person’s nature, communication, and other characteristics can influence it too. So, it’s not all about appearance. In fact, you can make a good impression with your looks, but as soon as you open your mouth, game over.
#13
Wow you’re hot you kinda look like my mom.
Auntriarch 2 months ago
If his mum is Sophia Loren... Actually no, because then he needs to go to Specsavers
#14
Are you familiar with the advantages of a fractional ownership vacation condo?
In today’s list, you will find plenty of examples of the ways one can mess up during a first date. To be more specific, what kind of topics brought up basically guarantee that there won’t be a second date.
You can take them as advice on what not to do if you want the relationship to go on, or you can take them as inspiration on how to ruin a date with a person you already know won't be in the future. You know, as the final nail in the coffin, just to make sure. Or perhaps none of these options are for you – you’re here just for straight-up entertainment, which is just as good enough.
Also, maybe you have additional ideas that could belong in this list? You’re always welcome to leave them in the comments!
#16
“I think I’m in love with you.”
Nothing beats the old Ted Mosby.
#18
Nothing. just stare at them silently.
60 seconds doesn't sound like a long time but imagine someone just staring at you wordlessly for a full minute.
and i feel like it would make it even more disturbing if after the full minute of weirdness i just started making normal conversation. .
Heffalump 2 months ago
Yeah, actually almost all 'autists' find eye-contact excruciating. Please don't use other people's conditions as terms of a***e. It's not funny.
Load More Replies... #19
I don't usually date effeminate guys, but you seem ok.
#20
Let me introduce you to Raid Shadow Legends.
#21
*"It's so good that you're open to becoming a tradwife."*.
#24
So I still live with my ex... but we’re on good terms.
KatSaidWhat 2 months ago
On the fence here. Two friends do still live together as they have a child with needs that they co-parent. They are in a big house and they sleep on different floors.
Angela C 2 months ago
A woman I used to work with lived with her ex and their 2 kids and she had a boyfriend who was aware of the situation
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#26
Talk like Yoda we must!
#29
Dammit! I forgot to wipe my a*s. Again!
Apatheist Account2 2 months ago
Better...I wiped but I didn't wash. Anyway, let me shake your hand...
Tobias Reaper 2 months ago
or just dont wipe your a*s and then fart and say do you smell popcorn so they take a long sniff
#30
Ask what sign they are and take out my tarot cards.
#32
Nothing. Just rip a huge fart.
#33
I would love to feel em, just one touch real quick.
#34
(Looking him up and down) Hmmm..I can already tell that your brothers d**k is way bigger..
#36
''I always dreamt of a face like yours. It might be good to add to my collection..." Say it softly, like you're whispering to yourself.
#39
"Is that your p***y I smell?".
MedusaWasBeautiful 2 months ago
"Are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you."
Grumpy old man 2 months ago
Old joke. Woman hits him with her purse. He says, Oh, must be your feet then
What do you think ?
Kathy Brooke 2 months ago
I can't believe nobody went with "I have to know first... are you Born Again?" (I noped out of that one faster that you can say Alleluia!)
Kathy Brooke 2 months ago
I can't believe nobody went with "I have to know first... are you Born Again?" (I noped out of that one faster that you can say Alleluia!)
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