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“Still Shocked”: 44 People Who Had No Choice But To Live Out The Lies They Told
Here’s another FRIENDS reference for all you fans out there. You likely recall the episode where Ross Geller began speaking at a lecture with a fake British accent out of nervousness. He tried to slyly phase it out until his students noticed, urging him to come clean.
But unlike Ross, these people who shared their stories on Reddit many years ago chose to live out their lies. They chose the “fake it ‘til you make it” route, even if it meant altering their realities, some of them, for good.
How can someone keep a charade going for years? Read on to find out.
Discover more in “Still Shocked”: 51 People Who Had No Choice But To Live Out The Lies They Told
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#1
When I was a little kid, I told my mom I really liked her tuna casserole. I was just trying to be nice and pay her a compliment since she seemed like she was having a bad day.
Pretty much every time I go to visit her she has some tuna casserole waiting for me. I don't actually like tuna casserole that much, but it's such a sweet gesture that I don't have the heart to tell her to stop. This has been going on for over thirty years now.
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#2
A couple years ago, I went to a bar in a town I didn't expect to be in very often, and I decided to don a Scottish accent and make up a back story for a fictitious version of myself.
Now, I doubt my accent would have fooled someone actually *from* Edinburgh, but by the end of the night I had a group of Americans and one bemused Australian chatting with me about the things that make the US a strange place to visit from abroad. Shots were bought, back slaps given, and a good night had; I thought nothing else of it.
...until I was dating a girl from the next town over, and she took me to her favorite bar. That bar. We walked in, someone greeted my by my "name", and I did the only thing I could do -- cheerfully donned my fraudulent accent, explained that my business trip had been indefinitely extended, and spent the next twenty minutes furtively explaining to my date that I wasn't a con man, just an ex actor with terrible impulse control.
#3
My brother had a gf with a younger sister my age and they all came to watch me play baseball once. I was pretty smitten with the younger sister and so after the game I started bragging about how I played guitar. My brother laughed in my face and said I had got a guitar but it had been collecting dust for months and I'd never have the patience to learn an instrument anyway.
I was so embarrassed by being called out and doubted, I went home, told my mom I wanted to take lessons again, and here I am 20 years later still playing guitar every day.
#4
Well... There's a lot about my past I keep secret from 99% of people I know or will ever know - and that is I used to be a prostitute and was hooked on ice for a few years. I've always struggled with depression and for a while I was in a very low place that led to some terrible decisions in my life. Even my family (except for my immediate family) I had to keep up a lie that I was doing these other respectable jobs and was successful in life because I was too ashamed to admit the truth. And the few genuine friends I had I confided in and eventually they gave up on me as a lost cause. Now I haven't done that job for a while and I actually do have a 'respectable' job now and have gone back to university to pursue my dreams. Fingers crossed..
#5
I was scared of heights and would get sick by the sight of blood. needed a job, lied about all this to become a firefighter.
I love my job, drive an ambulance too and overcame my fears.
#6
Pretty silly but I think it fits the bill. When I was about 5 I remember being in the bathroom and brushing my teeth. My mum was there and berated me for something. Later, being a sensitive child, I was crying in bed about it. My parents came in all concerned and my mum asked: "was it because I yelled at you earlier?". Embarrassed at being caught out so easily I said " no.. I'm sad because.. Because I can't swim". Soon after I was taken to swimming lessons. I hated swimming.
#7
I'm the kind of person that always leaves my shoes tied and just slips them on. I'm dating this girl for a couple months and then one day my shoe gets untied but I'm too lazy to retie it. It really bothers her and she insists on me tying it. I really don't want to bend over and do it for some reason. It was around the time when Liam Neeson got his shoe tied by Olivia Wilde and I was crazy jealous because I really liked Olivia Wilde since watching House.
She eventually asks me "Don't you know how to tie your shoes???". In my head I'm seeing Liam Neeson getting his shoes tied by Oliva Wilde and how cool it looks. So I say "No... I never learned how, you can't tell anyone..."
To this day, when my shoe gets untied in public she will pull me off to the side away from other people and secretly tie my shoe. For some reason it makes her happy and it's the sweetest thing ever. I can't understand how she would even tolerate a grown man who doesn't know how to tie his own shoe! I'll never be Liam Neeson cool, but I've found my Oliva Wilde.
#8
I had a coworker tell me he got married on accident. It was Christmas morning and he bought his girlfriend a ring as a Christmas present. They were both sitting around the tree and when she opened it she started to cry and said "well are you going to ask me." Thats when he realized what he had done. He got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. Moral of the story, don't ever buy a ring for a girl unless you are planning on marrying her.
#10
I am a professor and many times I will tell personal stories in an effort to demonstrate tough concepts. About half of these stories I made up at some point.
I don't remember which ones are real and which ones are lies. So I just go with them and don't worry about it.
#11
When I was a kid, for birthdays, my mom would always gets us whatever cake we wanted (chocolate, vanilla, cookie, ice cream, etc.). Well, one year (I was probably about 8 or 9), she got me an ice cream cake. I don't like ice cream cake AT ALL... it's not even cake! I like Cake, I like Ice cream, but not ice cream cake! Well, she was so happy that she "had gotten my favorite cake and flavor right" that I just went along with it....
Then next year, I got another ice cream cake.... still didn't say anything, not wanting to hurt her feelings again. And again the year after that. This has been going on every year since and I'm now 30....
Only my wife knows that I don't like ice cream cake, so each year she secretly gets me a cookie cake for at home and we don't tell my mom.
#12
Met my wife on one of those telephone chat dating things in the 90's. Basically, before OKCupid, you would sign up for a voicemail and describe yourself. We connected and went out but were both embarrassed for using it. Fast forward 18 years, we continue to tell everyone we met in the music section at Borders.
#13
While me and my SO were still dating (maybe 2 weeks or so in), she winked at me when i walked into the pub she worked in. Me being the goof that i am winked back but messed it up on purpose and just sort of shut my eyes tight for a second, making her believe that I couldn't wink.
Now it's over 6 years later and she still doesn't think i'm capable of winking.
One of my favourite things to do is just stand behind her and wink normally, purely for my own amusement.
#14
My sister has told our family that she was abducted by aliens. She says that that they come and take her once every few months and perform experiments on her. My parents found her an abduction support group and she has to go to meetings once a month. This has been going on for 7 years now. She told me that she was going to tell them initially it was an April Fools Day prank but she let it slide a little too long. Now look what happened.
#15
Someone at work, who is grungy, a chain-smoker, and never washes her hands, made a carrot cake and was asking people to try it. I told them I was allergic to carrots. I love carrots. To this day whenever I order or bring a salad to work I have to have it with no carrots.
#16
A lie I tell myself everyday - that I absolutely love my job
In reality, I like my job in that it is what I know to do best that will earn me money that pays my bills and a bit more, keeps me in a country that I like living in and honestly, I don't have any other hobby that is considered a productive use of my time
I'm envious of people who give up a paying job, take the risk of following a dream or a hobby and find happiness and eventually succeed in converting their hobby and passion into a vocation but I'm not one of them
So every morning, when I wake up, I tell myself that I absolutely love my job and that I will do it to the best of my ability and that I will never regret working in IT but I that's not really entirely true.
#17
When I was 10 I learned i could make myself throw up, so I used this to get out of school for like two weeks. My parents couldn't figure what was wrong with me because I didn't have a fever or anything. My aunt had the idea that I was allergic to red food dye, because her grandson (my second cousin) was. I just kinda rolled with it, and so for years my house never had red Gatorade it strawberry pop tarts etc.
I eventually told my parents I was faking it when I turned 20, they were not amused.
#19
A girl I lived with two years ago thought I was stealing her yoghurt out of the fridge. I told her it couldn't have been me since I'm allergic to dairy, and now I still can't eat dairy in front of her or anyone from that friend group. She made me a dairy free cake for my birthday - the guilt is eating me alive.
Edit: yeah I ate the yoghurt and it was delicious. Also am not a guy!
#20
When I was younger I walking home at night and the street lights were off, I got scared and starting running, knocked myself clean out on a lamppost. Someone walking their dog found me and called the ambulance. I was that embarrassed when I woke up I told the nurse I was mugged (I was 12). My parents turned up at the same time as the police. I gave a description that sounded a lot like gonzo from the muppets and police were searching the area with sniffer dogs. Thank Christ nobody was arrested and I still haven't told my parents.
#21
In an ironic twist of fate, I used to tell people that I had a heart condition, and that's why I took pills daily (it's actually Prozac).
Found out about a year and some change ago that I do, in fact, have a heart condition.
I lied so hard that I *retroactively gave myself a heart condition.*.
#22
When I was 16, I had a school exam to take on a Wednesday. I had not studied for it, and was too lazy to, so I told my mother that I was sick. She kept me home from school, and I BSed and played video games and whatever.
Thursday rolls around, and I was still lazy and hadn't studied. I told my mother I was still sick, and I just wasn't able to go to school. She told me ok, but if I was sick again the next day, we were going to see a Dr. That was cool, I had intended to study that night for the exam anyway.
Friday comes, and yet again, my lazy teenager hadn't studied. So, yet again, I'm wayyy to sick to go to school. My mother says ok, pack up, we're going to the Dr. I thought, "Whatever, we've got insurance and they'll just tell me I have the flu." So, to the Dr. we went.
So, after a multitude of tests and stupid human tricks, I was diagnosed with appendicitis, and scheduled to have my appendix removed. I argued and said that couldn't be the problem, and, of course, the Dr. knew better. I was too far in at this point, and couldn't simply say "Sorry, mom. I was lying to get out of a stupid school test." So, here I am twenty years later with no appendix.
#23
So once upon a time, I was sitting at lunch with friends in 9th grade. I was feeling under the weather (sore throat). That day, a friend of mine brought an enormous bag of Skittles to share. We all were having a jolly ole time (eating as well as pelting them at one another). Then my throat got really bad. I expressed this by touching my throat. I needed a moment before I could even think of speaking to explain. Someone proclaimed, "She's allergic to skittles!" Indeed, my throat did begin to close up. However, it was not due to a histamine reaction, but something closer to a throat that was further irritated by pure fructose.
Thus began my life as the girl who couldn't taste the rainbow.
#24
That I am allergic to bees. I was so scared of them in grade school and junior high, that I convinced everybody that I am allergic so they don't judge me when I run from bees.
#25
When I was a kid, I got the bright idea to put a knotted cherry stem under my tongue, and then show my sister an untied stem and magically tie it in a knot in my mouth in seconds. Fast forward about 20 years my entire extended family thinks I have this weird ability to tie knots with my tongue... it's a complete lie. At this point I refuse to do it, and get, almost defensive when people bring it up or ask to show it again. Pretty sure I got the idea from the simpsons or pete & pete and now has stuck with me as a curse.
#26
TL;DR - pretended I was the runner up to Daniel Radcliffe in the casting of Harry Potter.
In the UK there was an meant to be an "open call" for Harry Potter auditions. But due to the fiasco over the director of the first film it never happened.
However I'd still sent my letter off as suggested by the tv show Blue Peter who announced it.
I never heard back but for some reason my 11yr old brain was really mad at not getting a chance. When I started secondary school people kept telling me how much I looked like Harry Potter (the illustrated one the books showed, not Daniel Radcliffe, because at that point the news hadn't broken yet).
To this day I've no idea why I just went all in and told my school mates I'd gone all the way to the final auditions.
When Daniel Radcliffe was confirmed everyone asked me what he was like so I told them he was horrible lol (yeah, pre-pubescent me was jealous at all!!)
I kept that up all through secondary school until we left just because it was too embarrassing to admit otherwise
And no, I haven't met Daniel Radcliffe.
#27
Told my employer that I was Jewish. Not Jewish. Had to research all the holidays, pick a temple to be a member of, etc.
Had to get a new job.
#28
I have to pretend to have a bad memory because when I remember small or insignificant details people tend to get a little weird about it.
#29
When I was a kid and playing on xbox live with people from all over the world, I used to put on this dutch-sounding accent when talking to new people, partly because I didn't like how my normal accent sounded, especially when hearing it back, and also because I was/am weird. I met some good friends throughout the year or so that I did it. I'm still in touch but no where near as much as we used to be, we'll have a skype call every now and again, and even after 6-7 years, I still put the accent on to them. Obviously with us being good friends, I also lied about an awful lot of background things. It's like I created this other person. I never intended for it to go like this, but I could never tell them I've lied about my accent, which stemmed in to a bunch of other things... and even now after all these years... I'm the dutch guy that has only ever spoke english. It goes much deeper but, that's basically it.
#30
I have a horizontal scar on my stomach from a surgery I had when I was a baby. For some reason in elementary school I would tell everyone that it was from when a bear attacked me.
I'm now almost 30 and people I went to elementary school with still recognize me in public as that guy that got attacked by a bear.
#31
I dislocated my knee dancing like a maniac whilst drunk in January. Ended up on crutches for three weeks. Told everyone at work I did it bending down to grab something from the freezer because I didn't want them to think I was a drunken maniac. People at work are still shocked that I dislocated it so 'easily' and keep saying how unlucky I am and bringing the sympathy. Now I just feel like a fraud.
#32
At, work, for whatever reason ,when I first started I told a girl that I was married...I was never married...It got so out of hand that I actually bought a fake wedding ring....The whole hospital thinks I'm a husband...I've had friends call in pretending they're my wife....It's so crazy out of hand now that I think I would be fired if the truth came out.
#33
I got busted in a long time lie... When my wife and I started dating she was always asking me to do something when I was sitting down, or yell at me from another room which is a major pet peeve of mine. I was playing with little firecrackers one day.. As a grown up, and went to toss one but the wick burned down quickly and went off by my ear. I lost hearing in that ear for about 3 days. During that 3 days when she called for me I never really heard her so instead of asking me to do things she found it easier to do it herself, and stopped shouting from other rooms and just came to me instead. My hearing came back fully but I played it off as partially damaged. This will seem rude, but when she would call my name I would ignore it 2 or 3 times and she'd usually just give up and leave me be... I played it off for about a year and a half until my daughter was born and they stuck this thing in her ears to test her hearing. I asked how it worked, so they stuck it in my "deaf" ear to demonstrate how it worked. The nurse said "you're hearing is perfect" and my wife shot me a puzzling look and questioned me about my hearing later that night. She was worried something was wrong with the machine they used to test our new born baby's hearing. I came clean, she was more amused than mad, and I still don't know how that machine works...
#34
There's a chain of BBQ chicken restaurants here in Canada called Swiss Chalet.
I didn't really like them when I was a kid, I didn't really like chicken and I hated the BBQ sauce they put on their chicken. But as I've gotten older, I LOVE Chicken now and actually like the chicken from Swiss Chalet...
It wasn't really a lie back then, but now... I don't know man. I've kept the facade up for so long... I don't think I can rightly admit I like Swiss Chalet now...
Good chicken, but their fries are bad though.
#35
I'm 2 years sober, but during the midst of my drinking years I worked at a place that they actually gave me a "Vacationer of the Year" award because I was "gone" so much. I'd say 50% of those times I was either hungover or planning to drink.
But the worse of the worse is using "my grandpa died" to get off working a weekend, and then using "my grandma died" too to get off the following weekend. Nobody brought it up too much because either they knew I was full of s**t, or because it was a touchy subject.
To this day it's one of my top 5 most guilty inducing memories of drinking. Someday I'd like to go in to my former bosses and come clean, since I believe apologizing/making amends is a big step in recovery.
#36
I had never watched Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa. I was discussing movies with a friend I met online and lied to them that I have watched it. The friend was like, "Oh, cool. I haven't watched it though." I thought the matter was laid to rest and moved on to other movies for discussion.
Our friendship grew stronger and finally decided to meet IRL.
Though I was excited to meet them, however, the lie about the Japanese movie kept pestering me and was scared that they might ask me about the movie I haven't watched. And unlike online chatting, in a face to face conversation, I won't be able to take help of the internet.
So, I downloaded and watched the entire movie before meeting this person. I don't regret watching the movie. But the trepidations might have been avoided by not lying to them in the first place.
And no, the friend didn't ask me about Seven Samurai when we met.
#37
It isn't super ridiculously out of hand but only 3 people in the world know it's true
My current GF and I have been together for 11 months, we met on tinder, but I was in a cult that didn't allow online dating at all, and to s lesser extent, phones in general, so she and I told EVERYONE that we met in downtown Denver. I gotta come clean to my mom about it sooner or later.
#38
That I'm straight.
My friends and family know that I'm gay but for everyone else I'm straight.
#39
When I was goofing around at school everyone used to make fun of me for being foreign so I lied and said I was actually born here. It kind of snowballed and then I got this big job and it became kind of an issue.
Think I got away with it though.
#40
I once lied about qualifications to get a part time job. Beeb working full time in that field for over a decade. If people found out I'd probably get sued.
#41
I told my friends that the reason i laugh so much is because when I got surgery on my tonsils, they gave me too much laughing gas.
#42
I am currently studying Chinese in Beijing. My Chinese isn't that great and listening is by far my worst skill. So I will often get asked questions that I think I understand but don't. For instance, I was asked if you can haggle prices in America and I told the class you can. Since I am the only American in the class, nobody knows any better. All my lies are small, and completely accidental, but there are so many of them. If anybody in that class actually goes to America they are going to be in for a big suprise. And if any of them spoke English they would know I am not an 18 year old from a small town with no buses, trains, or taxis, who doesn't know how to properly use a fork and knife.
#43
Well, I met this really hot woman on a train and yada yada yada, she thinks I have a wooden leg.
#44
Gents, when you ever meet a girl that for some reason falls for you head over heels, and worships the ground you walk on, be very careful when she asks you whether you love her.
I'm now married to her for four years and she's so gosh darn adorable that I don't have the heart to tell her "I'm not sure."
Dane Watson 2 months ago
Wow, this one is abit snidey. At least be honest with your wife. Stop stringing her along and let her find happiness with someone who ACTUALLY will (honestly) love her
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