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50 Funny Memes About Work That You Probably Shouldn’t Be Reading While On Duty, As Shared By “Humorous Resources”
W. Edwards Deming, a forward-thinking American who helped engineer the Japanese economic miracle and put forward the continuous quality improvement philosophy, wrote that 94% of issues in the workplace are systemic, while only 6% are attributable to individual-level, idiosyncratic factors. Therefore, improvements should mainly focus on systems—not individuals. However, progress is often not as fast as we'd like it to be. Just take a look at the social media meme magazine 'Humorous Resources.' Spanning across different platforms, it shares all the annoying problems that everyone who has been a part of the workforce knows all too well.
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#1
Guilty
Elizabeth Tayler 2 years ago
Same, but for encouragement. And just in case it's the only item that gets crossed off :(
Vanessa Steis 2 years ago
It's also nice to write a list of what you managed to do that day.Even taking a shower or brushing your teeth counts!
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boredkitten 2 years ago
I also did for a while Done list where I would write stuff which I have just done for work and cross it off and also tick off too
Mine Truly 2 years ago
Sometimes I have such an awesome experience, I add it to my bucket list and cross it off. Like "nuclear disaster themed virtual reality escape room."
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
I do this when I start a list. I start with 5 or 6 completed tasks
RELATED:
#2
Yes Please
Gareth Baus 2 years ago
I have worked a couple of jobs with a 4 day work week. You don't feel much more tired after a 10 hour day than an 8 hour day and you can do so much on a 3 day weekend.
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
I'm starting week 5 of being at home because of a newly developed seizure issue, and I am going f*****g crazy.
Tee Rat 2 years ago
Hope it all works out well for you. I have epilepsy and as you know seizures, well they just f*cking suck.
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Michael Krantz 2 years ago
Honestly yeah. Every weekend I either feel like I did what I needed to OR I feel rested. Never both.
Miranda Veracruz de la Joya Cardenal 2 years ago
Gladly trade that social activities day to catch up with movies and videogames. Hell, i would rather be at work than having to comply with social activities.
TiredTomato 2 years ago
I requested a 4 day week when asked how many hours I wanted during my job interview so that I could plan my days off to do precisely this lol
#3
Please And Thank You
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
I quit a job because I was considered "rude" for sitting in my car instead of listening to more coworker bullsh@t at lunch. Don't miss that place.
tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
I like to read when on break. Please let me. I'll talk to you later
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
When I went to rehab I kept going to my room during free time to write in my journal and decompress. I NEED alone time. It's severely detrimental to me not to have it. The counselor Joan kept interrupting me and interrogating me on why I wanted to be alone and not hang out with the mostly toxic people I was trapped with 24 hours a day EXCEPT free time because my roommates were gone. Eventually told my counselor I was isolating myself and they stopped allowing me to be in my room during free time. Not long after I started FLIPPING THE F OUT on people badly
devotedtodreams 2 years ago
My former boss once also addressed what she called something like "concerns about me being a lone wolf" because I like my peace and quiet in breaks of all sorts. Well, yeah, I am a loner... And at my current workplace, I eat lunch later so the lunch room isn't overrun with co-workers. A single seat in the corner of the room, nigh-hidden behind a pillar, is perfect :)
Panda-Moan-I-Ummm.... 2 years ago
There are so many Introvert related lawsuits that never happen because we don't want to talk to people or God forbid go to trial🤷🏿♀️🥺
Roe Rainrunner 2 years ago
That's exactly the reason why I set this time as "work-time" when colleagues I don't like waste my break! XD
Upstaged75 2 years ago
People at my office think I'm antisocial. I literally couldn't care less. I just pretend that I'm still worried about Covid and shut myself in my office any time we have a catered lunch and are expected to eat together. Thankfully I only have to go in once a week! I used to love socializing at work when I was younger, but now I'm old and grumpy and don't give a cr@p. :)
#4
Fairly Coercive
Trinity 2 years ago
True that. When they say "No one is forcing you to stay", it's so untrue because finding a job is difficult and keeping it is even harder in a society that you're easily replaceable. No job means no money and if you don't have money, you have to set aside your pride and dignity to ask organizations for the poor for their help just to survive in an economy that is tearing at the seams. Inflation with no wage increase is just putting us all into debt and ruining our lives and relationships and we're too poor and powerless to stop it.
ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
Notice these capitalists appear to be doing everything in their power to simultaneously make you 1. Dependent on said (low-paying) job 2. Remove choices for other employment 3. Keep debt tied around your neck. PUSH BACK is definitely needed. ALSO, education on how to always have a side hustle or options that free you from their rats' maze.
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Duane Wright 2 years ago
You can find a new job it just might take some time. People choose not to. I started at a company and almost immediately saw how toxic the culture was. It took me 2 years but I found a new one And I'm happy again. The people I worked with knew how screwed up the place was and would complain about it but most would not actively do anything about it. Don't whine if you are unwilling to do anything about it. Yes, finding a new job can be hard but you won't find one if you just wallow in your misery.
DippityDooDerp 2 years ago
I love my job, love my coworkers, love the company (seriously Loves is an amazing company to work for), hate my new GM. I'm forcing myself to continue working here.
HARRY KOPPERS 2 years ago
remember that you were looking for a job when you found this one, and nobody told you to quit looking
DarkGlassSphere 2 years ago
And if people were sentient, they didn't rush to any job like a freaked out animals, but spend their lives to make world a better place. Sorry, unforgivable dreams.
#5
Asking For A Friend
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
DON'T EVER KNOCK ON MY DOOR!! My stomach lurches like cops have an active warrant on me or it's the eviction squad. And my rent is fully up to date
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Kevin Felton 2 years ago
So I did a paper on this college, and it's interesting because our brain doesn't recognize the difference between physical danger and social danger. So whether the boss calls us into the office or we're walking through a sketchy part of town, our body goes through the same physiological responses.
Jeremy Crocker 2 years ago (edited)
*read email I don't want to see. *mark unread. Boss "did you read my email?" "No not yet."
#6
There Is A Dog
La Petite Morte 2 years ago
That's a good urgent business list there. Coffee & dogs are worth being interrupted for. ALWAYS!
Cpt. Lime (She/Her) 1 year ago
I made a joke here, but it was stupid so I deleted it.
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#7
Me
ί𝔫ＣίŦᵃт𝐔𝐬 2 years ago
*can't really drag hand off desk, so feebly points chin at this text in corroboration *
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Upstaged75 2 years ago
I just want to know who's been spying on me!?! I actually posted this as my Facebook status a few months ago. :)
#8
My Goal Is To Not Work Here
Nikole 2 years ago
I FREAKING HATE having to write work goals. Everyone does. Why do they need something else to grade us on? Isn’t the actual work we do enough??
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Goals are fine, but they should be set by the boss not the employee. I feel like it's reasonable for the employee to have a right to (dis)agree with them. But it's just bosses job to come up with them. Otherwise, boss says "What are your goals" I'm going to reply with "Work a two day week but be paid for five".
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Worst Cop in Britain 2 years ago
My new manager had 1 on 1 meetings with each of us in my department and he asked me what my goals are I'm like ??? To stay employed and be able to fund my hobbies and my art? I don't have any goals lol there isn't a lot of growth opportunity where I'm at and I'm content with where I am anyway.
Betty Gomez 2 years ago
The only point of a JOB is to provide you with a life away from your job
Spencer's slave 2 years ago
My work goal is, and shall always henceforth be, top left hand corner of the net.
Old Roadie 2 years ago
My work goal, Navy: survive dangling from a CH-46 hovering over a carrier: My work goal, Roadie: survive dangling over a stage as I try to run cables for lighting. My work goal, Parent: allow... I mean, teach them to survive.
#9
I Had An Old Boss Used To Say There Are No Hr Emergencies, Either Call The Police Of Ambulance. Everything Can Be Handled In The Morning
ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
If upper management needs to fabricate 'urgency', they're being paid too much.
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Can you perform under pressure? No, but I'll give Bohemian rhapsody a go.
Jason C. 2 years ago
I was once denied a promotion for a lack of "sense of urgency." Excuse me for doing my job well and efficiently enough to not look like a chicken with its head cut off.
Mark Fuller 2 years ago
Oh god, the latter perfectly describes my workplace. A bunch of headless chickens panicking and flapping about because they couldn't organise a p**s up in a brewery.
Bill Kubeck 2 years ago
"Your lack of organization / competence / etc. does not constitute an emergency on my part" I added quote because I tweaked this, but did not originate it.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
I 'm known for being chill in any situation while at work. As far as I'm concerned an "emergency" means that someone is dying or the building is on fire. Otherwise panicking is a waste of energy. It's served me well in the meeting planning industry, where people think running out of coffee is the end of the world. :)
Cat Logic 2 years ago
Ooh hell yes! I was Assistant Chair at one point, which meant I mostly oversaw semester schedules, so during the regular semester not much went on. One Monday my Chair said I didn't answer my phone all weekend. I said, nah, we don't do brain surgery, so there's nothing that can't wait until Monday. Text me if you really need something. She said that's reasonable. And it's my personal cell, so.
Charlotte Gachoud 2 years ago
Never understood why people took serving a plate of food like some sort of weird life or death emergency. So overdramatic for no good reason 🙄
#10
Thanks But No Thanks
Satan Laughs 2 years ago
God bless you, Joi Childs. Wonder if she can translate other useful work sayings?
Upstaged75 2 years ago
I had to tell one person I supervise that "I'm busy and don't feel like it" is not a legitimate excuse for missing a weekly meeting. LOL! Yes, we all feel that way, but those are the kind of thoughts you don't say out loud. I've had to tell the person more than once. I admire their candor, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and be an adult. :)
Dave Hinckley 2 years ago (edited)
Teams doesn't kick people off. It must be user error. Teams is flawless, and cannot make errors. Trust Teams. Teams is good. Teams had no flaws.
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
I wish, I work in the administrative side of healthcare, the meetings are always mostly about the clinical side
#11
I Just Kept Running
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
I did that. Worked at a BBQ joint, they hired a bunch of children. Got in my car at lunch one day, started it and drove away. They mailed my last check 7 weeks later.
A P 2 years ago
Yeah, I helped to open a new store. I went in super early and stayed until an hour before I had to go work my normal shifts at my regular store. There was a lot of turnover because it was too busy and too overwhelming. The first few weeks were wall to wall customers all day, so I definitely understood it. My favorite was a dude who we sent on lunch, and an hour later started asking if anyone had seen him (lunches were 30 mins). Eventually someone said they saw him go out to his car right when we sent him on break. He had put his store gear up on the roof. They said he say there for a few minutes with his face in his hands, then he just cranked up the car and bolted. They picked up his gear and left it up in the break room on the off chance he was coming back. He never did.
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𝕜𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟ᴛʜᴇ𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕕 2 years ago
My entire lunch break and smoke breaks are used to walk around, it wakes me up and makes me not so mad about the crazy customers that I just experienced. Plus my legs and bum are looking toned. So win-win.
Charity Angel 2 years ago
Dammit, that's where I went wrong. I went back. (To be fair, I told the colleagues that had put me in that position that they were never to do it again, and the CEO backed me up - he tracked me down to make sure I was okay. I wasn't far, just round the corner having some quiet time, and always fully intended to go back. The two directors were amazing and I miss working there)
Amber.exe(She/They) 2 years ago
I had a girl who if she was feeling mad,she'd walk around the building multiple times and then come back
Channen TTCL 2 years ago
I did something similar. While closing my store for the night, I decided I'd reached the end and slid my keys under the door after I locked it. I had been working for 28 days straight and was told I should keep a cot there.
Princess Mar-li Cathryn 2 years ago
Apparently someone did this at my job before I started working there. Profoundly sorry I missed it.
#12
20 Years On A Beach Is More My Speed
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
I'm at the point in life where I want to walk into the woods and let nature do it's thing. My dog is the only one that will notice I'm gone.
Steek Insektoideth 2 years ago
I was at a screen presentation thing and they suggested the 20-20-20 rules. I always make sure to follow it and it works.
Edward Dwyer 2 years ago
I still can't understand lying on a beach for relaxation. Sun blasting in your eyes and giving you skin cancer, garbage on the beach, unruly kids, etc.
#13
Me Actually Taking My Lunch Today And Not Sitting At My Desk
Nikole 2 years ago
But if I take a full on lunch break then I have to work later into the evening…
liam newton-harding 2 years ago
I can't remember who said it, but it is a long these lines, "Employers need to remember they are renting my time, NOT buying my soul."
devotedtodreams 2 years ago
Always! American work culture sounds sorta like slavery to me (I live in Switzerland)...
calliope fulp 2 years ago
It feels like it, too, when you have to basically beg to use any earned time off, or are reprimanded for not answering texts while being too ill to stand upright.
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Cyndielouwhoo 2 years ago
And coworkers need to stop trying to assimilate me after they've bought in to the BS.
D Peterson 2 years ago
We Boomers didn't set out to ruin the world, we just listened to our parents & grandparents & tried to follow their advice. Biggest mistake possible. I did sign up to sell my soul & every moment of my personal time. I believed my workplace was my family. I believed they cared about me. I believed if I gave them my everything they would take care of me. I was a fool. It took me most of my adult life to understand that it was a lie & a trap. I wasted much of my life, my physical health, & my mental health. I worked overtime without pay,. I didn't use all my vacation. Today sucks but so did the past. Use your knowledge & don't trade your life & health for a job.
Erik Ivan 2 years ago
I once had a coworker that was forced to take the legal minimum of 3 weeks. We had a new boss (she was one of the best bosses I ever had), and she decided that no even coworker could be in his office at all times. The dude didn't like it at all, specially since we were told not to talk work when he gave us a call.
#14
Documentation Queen
Gwen 2 years ago
Proud because you know that if you had messed up that bad for her to do that to you, she would have either divorced you or killed you! And if she had killed you, her alibi would have been air tight!
ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
Scared because he doesn't know if she keeps a similar log on him.
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Must Be Bored Again 2 years ago
I had to file for disability from my job per HR directive. I sent Head of Corp HR my application with 1600 pages of documentation. My immediate administrator submitted one sheet of paper, simple questionnaire on which she stated she denied every request for any kind of accommodation for my needs. Still took me four years to get approved for disability. I think they were hoping I would die before they had to approve it.
Rumi Mohammad 2 years ago
My CFO said I won't get any commission for winning a bid because my new sales director (6 months with us) claimed this was an existing customer bound to renew with us. I forwarded 300 emails over 5 years spent jumping through the customer's hoops to ensure the win. I got my commission the next week. The sales director was eventually "retired".
Duuuuuuude 2 years ago
My wife has worked in corporate America for 20 years. I'm Blue collar, so it took me many years to understand why she would say things like, "I'm still waiting for them to answer my email." In my world you pick up the dam phone. But then I would see her do this very thing to people and finally I got it.
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
Just because the other guy is making mistakes, it doesn't mean she isn't lying.
Old Roadie 2 years ago (edited)
Saved every text message from narcissistic in law. For years. Last one received on the 50th anniversary of my daughter's murder, and it said 'I hope you suffer.' So, I took it to courthouse, clerk freaked out and gave me papers for restraining order. Document, people. Document their dumbassery.
#15
That Last Part
dinoz71 2 years ago (edited)
I have decided the cons are for other people. People who lease the buildings or have business next to the buildings or are dependent upon the buildings and the people that make their livings because I have to go to the building. FTS
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️️Upvote faery️ 2 years ago (edited)
I genuinely hated working from home. Home is my safe space, free of anything to do with work. I'd rather GO to work so that my home space remains private and relaxing. I like the 30 minute commute because its like going for a drive where I get to jam out to music before I get to work, and then again after work, and I get to decompress from my work day before I get home so that I can easily maintain my life/work boundaries. Trust me, we do exist!
Doodles1983 2 years ago
All things I agree with. I get very cabin fevery and want to escape my home. Which should be a place of solace and rejuvenation.
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HeavyMetalHeart 2 years ago
I would hate to work remote. I like my coworkers, I like getting dressed nicely for the office and I like the split between work and home. Maybe I’m a weirdo but working from home doesn’t appeal to me at all, it sounds depressing.
Charity Angel 2 years ago
I hated it. I thought I'd be fine, because I'm an introvert. I had cabin fever by the end of March 2020 (two weeks in). I always got dressed properly for work, whether I was at home or the office because it felt weird not to, but I still missed having my colleagues around me. I think it might be different if we weren't such a small company, so we all knew and got on with everyone. My boss came and sat on my doorstep (distancing) a few times because I just did not cope with lockdown.
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Pan Narrans 2 years ago
Cons: my coworkers! One is asking for attention everytime he walks past me. The other steals my chair when I go for coffee of to the toilet. Both leave hairs everywhere they go. The third is the worst, he is actually gaming next to me! But, I wouldn't want it otherwise. Working at home with 2 cats and a kid is far better then working with too many new young people on the job.
Jacob Bissey 2 years ago
I envy the people who can work from home and manage their time effectively. I'm too easily distracted and have a hard time staying on task when my choices are only beholden to myself. Same reason I can't do a job where I have full control of my own schedule, if I decide when to go to work it just won't happen and if I'm at home on my computer, I'm not gonna get work done, I'm gonna be on the internet watching videos and reading webnovels.
Roy Briggs 2 years ago
Erm, I'm just being paranoid here, but first the internet begins to separate us, then social media widens the gap, and now remote working is really putting the nail in the coffin of interpersonal relationships. Maybe Ted Kazynski wasn't too far off the mark.
#16
Using This
Alyssa Brown 2 years ago
Love this, almost wish I still worked an office job so I could use it
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
"I wish to reiterate my previous comment in a louder voice, repeatedly, until it is acknowledged" was the nice way of screaming "I TOLD YOU THAT WOULD HAPPEN!"
#17
Don’t Give Me Any Ideas
Mine Truly 2 years ago
Lol, that's what turns it from malingering to art.
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AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle? 2 years ago
I'm dealing with the reality of a husband with a TBI from a work accident right now and can't wait to tell him this! The ups and downs aren't fun, but I know this will make him laugh his a*s off!
Michael Smith 2 years ago
Actually I believe that the correct word is "faked". If he had "forged" a head injury he would have had to have actually injured his head on purpose.
Michael Smith 2 years ago
He could however have forged the *paperwork* that claimed he had a head injury.
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#18
10/10 Would Recommend
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
This easy quick response gets outta the way all the lil details, insert theme as needed, “ no you can’t come over, I’ve lost control of my life “
Zoey Rayne 2 years ago
The illusion so many of us humans like to create is that we ever had control of the day in the first place.
Charity Angel 2 years ago
I love the honesty here. This needs to be acceptable, not "unprofessional". You know what's unprofessional? Making up some BS and trying to peddle it. That's the way you lose the trust of colleagues and clients. Hooray for Gen Z, doing what we were too afraid to do.
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago (edited)
Wouldn't that presume that she had, in fact, at some point HAD control of the day? I need to meet this person.
#19
I Mean Seriously
Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself 2 years ago
I think there's a finite amount of confidence in the world and some people are hogging more than their fair share.
Stephanie Case 2 years ago
If only talent and capability gave us as much confidence as money does.
Linda T 2 years ago
See the DSM. They've got symptoms to cover everything. Everything psychologically related.
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Kitty White 2 years ago
If folks are referring to The Boy Genius alone— not confident people in general— please understand that this is that fake confidence he’s drummed up to cover his massive inferiority complex. He fooled so many of us, so well, for so long. “His people” invented a life that was VERY impressive— on paper. He manipulated public perception, exaggerated the positive while quashing the negative, consistently took credit for other people’s work and inventions, and outright lied about everything from his education to being fired from CEO positions. The mask came off when someone publicly insulted him. He was desperate to be the dedicated, generous hero who saved those boys trapped in the cave. The Head Diver tweeted that his Rescue Pod was dangerous, stupid, and showed a lack of understanding of basics… He. Went. Off. Called the diver a pedo— such a shock to we who worshiped him that we began investigating. His rep took a nosedive and it’s been going downhill ever since.
#20
This Is My Business Casual
pineapple87 2 years ago
We had someone repeatedly come in in long johns as protesr after the last lockdown ended. Did not end well for him.
Captain Kyra 2 years ago
Aren't those underwear? Huge difference between lounge wear and underwear. But I am curious to know what field it is. The amount of middle management flexing by demanding a return to an office where it is a waste of time and money is unreal.
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Marco 2 years ago
Had my bosses boss once tell me that he didn’t think full time remote work made sense because another department tried that and their turnover was really high due to lack of a” team culture “. He was too privileged to tell realize that it wasn’t the remote work. It’s because the only way to get anything more than a 3% raise each year was to keep jumping departments
devotedtodreams 2 years ago (edited)
I wear my TeeTurtle shirts almost every day and wouldn't want to give them up in favor of a dress code (I'm a librarian). One customer once said every time she stops by, she's curious as to which motif my shirt of the day features ^_^
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
I love the idea of working for home, but most remote jobs involve sitting at a desk behind a computer and I can't do that.
Edda Kamphues 2 years ago
As a teacher with a strict dress code, I wonder what difference it would make to my students' learning if I wore jeans.
🩶🩷Marvin HoG🩷🩶 2 years ago
Not working for me, but I will continue to dress comfort-casual because I'm damn well gonna be comfy if I have to keep going into that damn place
#21
Low Effort. Maximum Value
Jessica N 2 years ago
Nothing to do with anything but Una was the name of my fake pen pal in middle school. My friends used the name to send letters/ call me when I was grounded. It never worked but was hilarious
~Worthless_Otaku~ 2 years ago
Ok, i find it so baffling that you had a fake friend named Una... Cuz i did too lol. I think when i was about 6 - 10 years old, i would 'hang out' with Una. And she could turn into a mermaid, and always had this bag with the coolest things in it, lol.
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A P 2 years ago
Nah, they'll never get promoted being that efficient at their job.
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#22
Inappropriate Giggles
David Martin 2 years ago
I'll admit, this one took me a second read to put those pieces together, and I laughed way too hard once I got there
A P 2 years ago
If you were a real expert, you'd have at least 8 because they all got divorced and remarried.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
And my sick uncle hasn't passed yet either - but it doesn't look good. ;)
Lord of the laserprinter. 2 years ago
Knowing what I know of the American workplace, I get it. Other than that I laugh in European.
#23
I’m Going To Try This Tactic In Corporate
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
I don't know, it seemed a good plan to me, and got the desired result.
Hey! 2 years ago
I'm usually a rule follower and right before I retired my boss put me on the central phone line to replace someone for a day or two. My job, among other things, was to take over those calls when they escalated. This rep gets me and I refuse to do what she asks (because most of what she's asking is against the rules or she's not giving the info she's supposed to provide instead of me looking for it) and now she finishes with "are you new? get some training girl!" Yeah, I've been here 12 years (and ready to go at 50).
#24
It’s Always Deborah
#25
Entry Level
Saint Tim the Godless 2 years ago
"Welp, kiddos! Time to work nightshift in the mines!" -Iowa State Senate
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
"and that is why you will store your mining equipment this way. Any questions?"
Cydney Golden 2 years ago
Red states changing their age requirements for factories, meat packing plants, mines and bars.
Thomas Jones 2 years ago
Thanks to GQP labor policy changes, you might be able to have that experience if you live in redder states
#26
Might Even Cry A Little
Richard Willis 2 years ago
Give the laziest person the hardest job and they will find the easiest way to do it.
Duuuuuuude 2 years ago
Anybody who asks that has no idea how to conduct an interview. Asking a question that nobody is stupid enough to answer incorrectly is a waste of everyone's time.
#27
I’m So Mature. I’m So Mature
panther 2 years ago
Chances are that it's not morning crack it's the night before crack, because she smoked it all last night.
Amqy 2 years ago
No one in the history of crack has ever woken up with more crack.
Load More Replies... Dak Janiels 2 years ago
My favorite is to actually include the previous email as an attachment to the current one and simply say "Please refer to the attachment." Passive, yet very aggressive.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
I like to do this one too. Or just forward it and say "in response to your other message". :)
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Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Hahahaha! "Per my last email" is office speak for "B*tch, can you read"?
Cyndielouwhoo 2 years ago
The most AMAZING time I've ever had at a job was the month after I gave notice and before I left. I had so much fun with those emails! Not mean, just same confusing BS garbage to the (no doubt) "crack-smoking" coworkers!
#28
An Okay Would Have Sufficed
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
Three folks I worked with got a job before getting a home after arriving in the UK. One slept in the work bathroom between his shifts, then pretended he worked the next shift on so he could earn three times as much.
#29
I’m Sorry. I’ll Try Harder
Chantay Robinson 2 years ago
Mmhmm.... I am forever apologizing and I'm pretty sure it's annoying people.. I once apologized to my vet for pointing out he was dribbling blood all over the wall, floor and trashcan as he explained something to me while tossing the sharps. I apologized that he was getting blood on the wall I clean!
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LuLuBelle 2 years ago
Apologizing excessively for things that aren't your fault is not required by the rules of civility. It's annoying and dilutes the value of a true heartfelt apology for a real transgression. If you do this because you think it signals that you're "nice," please do yourself and those around you a favor and stop. It really only signals that you're insecure.
Ristina Nielsen 2 years ago
Important little hack! It helps my self esteem and *also* gives the other person a positive feeling of being helpful. And I strongly believe that the world is a better place when people are a litle bit polite and helpful.
SirWriteALot 2 years ago
"Thank you for your patience" When you've ignored the email long enough
#30
Plant Did Not Survive Because It Didn’t Feel Like Family
Stephen Hastings 2 years ago
Only one type of thing tends to grow at most jobs: Employees --- they grow WEARY! 😂
#31
I Just Last Week Had To Explain What This Was To Someone
Manic Mama 2 years ago
TIL there are other people here just as old as I am. Thank you; I feel better now.
Hoody Hoo 2 years ago
I'm so old, I have shoes that could buy their own liquor!
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Tee Rat 2 years ago
"Why is there a piece of notebook paper taped to the front? Because the company's too cheap to buy new envelopes."
Gardener of Weeden 2 years ago
my boss used white out to keep it fresh... lol
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Scott Rackley 2 years ago (edited)
the smell of opening a new envelope, it didn't smell like halitosis, sweat, or food grease
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CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago (edited)
I remember getting so irritated at people who didn't use the boxes in the proper order or for those psychopaths who double-parked their massive signatures across four boxes. ARG!
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
Remember when we needed a reply sooner than IO would get delivered, and you uploaded some chutzpah and FAXED them?!?
#32
Love All My Recruiters Friends
Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
He looks like the dog that chased a car for a mile and then it stopped
wayne tregear 2 years ago
The poor bastard had to wait until mumsie died, in two years time he be a former shadow of himself.
Nel Cameron 2 years ago
Imagine how much all that stuff he has to wear weighs! No wonder he always looks unhappy.
Gavin Johnson 2 years ago
That £1.8billion inheritance (and dodging tax thanks to the laws he ‘adjusted’) appears to be weighing heavily on the poor chap.
#33
Ain’t Wrong
TheMemeMachine 2 years ago
Had someone ask me recently if their Gross salary was before or after tax and they were surprised when I answered immediately, the only reason I know is because of this post 😁
#34
I Had Someone Check My Calendar Last Week I Was So Paranoid
IcyPenguinToes 2 years ago
I have so many questions about the chicken. Was it a reminder to pick up dinner? Or was it a reminder to go get a new pet?
JJ 2 years ago
I have my lunch time blocked with the name of my dog. The puppy just *had* to get out around that time and now we *want* to go out for a long walk and both have a proper, relaxed lunch. I'm waiting for the day someone asks me who Patton is 😅 The worst part is that I tried to establish a proper lunch break for me for ages but since I have the dog it actually works.
Christopher Denney 2 years ago
Why would anyone think their work calendar is private? The whole point is to have something to let people know when you are available... that said the details can usually be hidden... :)
JL 2 years ago
"Paul, I notice you calendar has an entry 'get a chicken'. Can you pick me up a chicken too?"
Stephen Gross 2 years ago
One time I scheduled "yoga" and invited "Ta..." and hit to complete (for "Tara", obviously). But instead I invited ts-gws which was a 20-person team and hit enter without thinking. So 20 random colleagues got invited to join me for yoga. That was interesting.
Lesley Christie 2 years ago
I had a boss who kept complaining that she didn't have permission to add or edit my calendar and I said yes, that's because you manage a human being so you can ask and will I edit my own calendar.
#35
Very Sad. Now Good Day
Erik Ivan 2 years ago
I usually put up an auto reply that says "I am at work [day, hours], please contact me then". No promisses to reply or even that I will read the mail (I wont if I am on holliday, everything goes directly to the bin without me reading. How does that work, you ask? It works when people realise it's get very, very, very expensive if I am to work off hours.
#36
Orgasmic
PurpleUnicorn 2 years ago
I've done it more than once - first time I was in a different country, they flew me home and transported all my stuff, I went into the office for an hour to sign off, and I was on my own! I have to say though, when you've done it once it's much easier to do it again!
boredkitten 2 years ago
But you need savings or financial support from the family. It have too many financial commitments to do this but I like my job right now so all good.
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Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
Been there. I was so angry and bitter at the boss, it took me 2 months before I found another job.
#37
So Pay Me
Hugh Crawford 2 years ago
I'd put in a satirical joke here about him still getting hired over a woman but people might think I was serious
#38
Whitest Whites
Morgan Lemmons 2 years ago
And those Whitest Whites get all pink and pissy when you throw in one red sock.
ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
Grey and wrinkly when you throw in one black sock...
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A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 2 years ago
that's the strangest sentence i've ever heard
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Claire the Devils Advocate 2 years ago
What's wrong with wanting your white washing to be the whitest possible?
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
Nothings, it's just saying that the company says they're all about diversity and stuff, but all the people in leadership positions are white.
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Annie Steele 2 years ago
Our inclusion excludes those who are not paid directly by the company but indirectly due to various employment laws and they can't see where they are going wrong ...
#39
Thanks Everyone
Omima mimi miki 2 years ago
I usually mute, video off - watch a movie or tackle some house tasks- read the review notes in the email after. If i was supposed to participate in something i have a list of excuses i round through to last a year-
Annie Steele 2 years ago
Mute on, camera off .. no hello or goodbye .. have no contribution to the meeting .. zone out most of the time but I'm there by my red dot ...
OutsiderDogMom 2 years ago
I was working from home once and I was so freaking tired that I slept throughout the zoom meeting. I made sure to set my alarm so that I was awake to say "thank you" at the end. To this day no one knows of my crime of not caring about useless meeting.
#40
Easier To Explain
ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
Ben looks as if that cigarette is the only thing holding him up - and together.
Load More Replies... Ken Beattie 2 years ago
This is sometimes true though. And it's also true that sometimes just visiting in person is even better again. Try doing IT support over emails or texts :(
Charity Angel 2 years ago
I have the most excellent excuse for this - "while you might find it easier, due to a speech impairment this is not a feasible option for me". True (most of the time, my speech comes and goes), and I absolutely want every single idiotic thing they're about to try and say in writing. Especially since one of the sub-industries I worked with didn't count phone calls as part of their query handling and complaint escalation process. Throughout the industry. This is built into the regulations. (However, the regulations also impose fines, payable to the customer, for delays of longer than 10 working days. And further fines if they don't cough up within 10 working days)
Load More Replies... Roe Rainrunner 2 years ago
I had a customer tell me, she just had a question, but she didn't know how to articulate it, and that was why she didn't sent me an email, but she had been already talking to my colleague about the subject, but she wasn't to sure about when he came back and.... The question was "Is there any update on the issue?" and I still don't get what was so hard about it to articulate...
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
Poor Ben. The moment he gets to suck in a lungful of carcinogen-tainted ashy air and reset his Givashitometer, and there's a skeezy paparazzi hanging out with a telephoto lens. Vultures.
Duuuuuuude 2 years ago
I can't remember the last time I had a cigarette. Must be dam near 15 years. But every time I see this picture on here, I want one. Not NEED. Just want.
#41
That Tracks
Omima mimi miki 2 years ago
Faith didn't say this and this has been pasted and copied like everywhere on so many meme's - can we recycle it now lol
#42
I’m Dead Inside
Sleepy_Theater_Bee 2 years ago
*In an old man's voice* "I'm not Dead Yet!" *Proceeds to get hit in the head by management* *¡¡¡Cong!!!*
#43
What She Said
harry Henderson 2 years ago
My response to the question: this usually occurs at companies that ask why I don't stay at a company very long instead of asking how the company can provide a long and fulfilling career
AliJanx 2 years ago
HR Here: what you "owe" work is to do what's required for the duration of your schedule. Go home on time, take vacation, take your personal holidays, if you're sick, use your sick time. The company will not give you anything other than your pay and the occasional pat on the head. If another, better job pops up (you get to define what's better) take it and don't look back.
Meester Chad 2 years ago
Meh. This one rings of entitlement Work isn't easy for anyone. And nothing comes free.
John Smith (he/him/xy/️) 2 years ago
Then you dodged a bullet anyway. Companies should stop pretending they play important roles and people should stop placing companies on pedestals.
Load More Replies... #44
We All Do This Huh?
ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
Then hit UNSEND because Google Mail gives me 30 seconds...Just in case I missed something that - I didn't.
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Reviewer UK01 2 years ago
I do it because my ability to spot errors is hugely improved by hitting send
Maikku 2 years ago
And of course to check if I remembered the attachment. And then send the attachment.
ƒιѕн 2 years ago
Always forget the attachment, send another email with attachment.
Load More Replies... Christopher Denney 2 years ago
I put mine on delay, so I go to the outbox (not sent yet) and make sure I didn't bork it.
#45
Brain Full, Heart Not So Much
#46
Two Slice Limit. Thanks
Morgan Lemmons 2 years ago
OMG this tiny slice of pizza has fixed all my issues! Looks like my Grandma was right! I don't need therapy, pizza works JUST FINE.
Argle Bargle 2 years ago
Worked at an early education centre where teachers with degrees were paid less than a living wage and had to put up with such long hours and c**p conditions, yet every few days there were extremely lavish pizza, sushi, donut etc parties. It's just like goddamn it, just pay us better and we won't need the pizza parties to boost morale because we won't be sleeping in our cars
Analyn Lahr 2 years ago
We got pulled pork sandwiches and mac and cheese. Catered. I think most of us would be happier with a raise.
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
I once worked at a manufacturing place in college. Instead of the usual $100+ Xmas bonus, we got $25-50 credit at the companies online store, with all sorts of company branded overpriced Carhartt stuff, etc. Cheapest item was $60 and there was a flat rate shipping charge of $13. I had to pay $83($33 out of pocket) for a $50 Carhartt hoodie. Can't imagine why they're having employee retention issues.
cwa92464 2 years ago
Oh, and I'm gonna need ya to come in Saturday morning to sit and watch the contractors.
Nightshade1972 2 years ago
I'm reminded of the one I read about, where a potential employee was asked, "What would make your job more enjoyable?" or something along those lines. Potential Employee replied, "Flex time would be great, work from home would be great, a higher salary would be great." The interviewer looked annoyed, and said, "No, I meant like, pizza parties!"
#47
Very Much Me. Sunday Scarier Have Hit Early
N Miller 2 years ago
I'm awake at 6:45 on the Saturday of a three-day-weekend because I'm anxious about work on Tuesday
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#48
It’s 4, 6 And 9 For Me
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
Most of 2020 I signed off emails "Giant Meteor - 2020 : Just end it already."
Jayne Brown 2 years ago
I used to sign mine off with 'the only person to have everything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.'
La Petite Morte 2 years ago
Remember, I live in a cemetery & have the keys to the on-site crematory. Have a good evening. ~ (actual email sign off I sent to a co-worker who was on my last nerve.)
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Vasha 2 years ago
for the last few years before retirement, my email sign-off, business card, and invoices all said "Get a Grip": card-64726...65-png.jpg 
#49
Guilty
Captain Awesome 2 years ago (edited)
I use this time to go drop the kids off at the pool and login late due to an unforseen family crisis I had to resolve
Teresa C 2 years ago
Me every day logging in for my job, I get up 5 minutes before my shift to clock in, pee, get water, start my computer up... It's worked for 3 years so if it ain't broke don't fix it
Upstaged75 2 years ago
For me it's a last minute rush to put on makeup and fix my hair because I still look like I just rolled out of bed. :)
#50
Leave Me Alone. I’m Comfy
sociallyanxiousslug(She/Her) 2 years ago
It’s literally the opposite for me 🥲
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#51
If You Read The New York Times Article Y’all Know My Affliction For The Middle Finger
mutedtempest 2 years ago
I'm being pedantic and the tweet is great but... affliction really isn't the word the author was looking for in the caption. I realize English isn't the first language of most BP staff but come on, y'all. Proofread just the slightest bit!
A P 2 years ago
I thought the same when I first saw it, although I thought the header was taken from the OP and not BP staff, but I could certainly be mistaken.
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#52
Sunday Thoughts
Captain Kyra 2 years ago
I feel like this woman needs a standing ovation and several hell yeahs
#53
I Was Riddled With Anxiety The Last 72 Hours And I Finally Had Enough Strength To Respond. Thanks
#55
Mines Due Next Week
Nikole 2 years ago
I know I’m an outlier but chocolate doesn’t need to be in every dessert
Load More Replies... #56
That One Person
#57
But Seriously
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Me: *deletes a bunch of emails* Outlook: "Are you sure?" Me: "Yes." Outlook: "Do you want to empty the trash?" Me: "Obv." Outlook: "Ok, but instead of doing that, we've saved them in a cache file that's bloody huge and buried 5 folders deep. It'll take you hours to figure out why your hard drive is nearly full all of a sudden."
#58
But No Additional Compensation
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
If he spins really quickly, will the hands slap everyone in the vicinity?
Devonia Jelly-Bean 2 years ago
Asking the important questions here, I see
Load More Replies... #59
That’s My Stapler - Milton
Michael Largey 2 years ago
It's ok. Throughout his vacation he left floor 4 exactly where it was.
#60
I Might Come In Tomorrow
Channo Sagara 2 years ago
I find it outrageous that i have to struggle to find a parking space, so that i can WORK on this damn building. Like... I should be carried here.
Chantay Robinson 2 years ago
I often feel the same, but usually when I am called in to find 4 other people behind 2 computers...
#63
Sorry For The Delay. I Was Completely Paralyzed With Anxiety And Didn’t Know How To Respond
#65
Or The “Gotcha”
Anna Stephenson 2 years ago
My old standbys were "oh my GOODNESS!".......and you know I was trying really hard not to curse when I broke out the good old "Oh Good GRIEF!"
#66
On My 2nd Cup. Will Be Expected To Function Soon
Channo Sagara 2 years ago
At least coffee still helps you. It's doing nothing to me at this moment.
#69
This Meeting Could’ve Been An Email
A P 2 years ago
Ikr? I know the point is looking at the ridiculous cost of what is likely an unnecessary meeting, but the only thing I can think about is how huge the multiple of my hourly rate those people make.
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kath morgan 2 years ago
That’s a great idea. You’d think the company would want to get the skilled work they are paying for, at these rates.
JoNo 2 years ago
I took it as "this is how much the meeting is costing" and the figure beside each attendee is showing how much their salary is for a meeting that long. So in all everyone is wasting time and money at the meeting. It's like whenever the boss does a so-called menial task, I think how much it cost them to do it compared to me.
Load More Replies... #70
Work Is What Gives Me The Money To Afford My Passions
Old Roadie 2 years ago
...because mediocrity is the path to advancement and salary boosts. Got it.
#72
“I’m A People Person”
Jacki moore 2 years ago
Omg so me. I feel fake and all the fake smiling and fake voice all week at work lol then I come home and I actually laugh and I'm happy and it's just such a different person
#74
Thank God My Husband Doesn’t Work From Home Bc I Would Be Her
#75
It’s Fine. I’m Fine
#76
Who Am I Kidding, Six Months In
the cat overlord 2 years ago
no no no, it should be "i'm still dead inside, i'm just hotter and susan is my bestie now."
#80
You Know Who You Are
#81
I’m Not Ready
#82
Trying This
Kel_how 2 years ago (edited)
Lol, goals. Although I got shamed for clicking a link for a free 90 day trial of Disney Plus Education (which doesn't exist). I even thought it looked suspicious AND forwarded it to a coworker for her opinion on its suspiciousness. I was just desperate. Now I flag everything as phishing.
ί𝔫ＣίŦᵃт𝐔𝐬 2 years ago
Is it bad that my first thought was "I need to investigate this!"
Load More Replies... #83
Imma Be In A Bad Mood If I Have To Be There
Timmy Pillinger 2 years ago
I do. I get a constitutional walk, I like my colleagues and I don't like WFH very much.
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#85
We’re Like Family
Collin Lyle 2 years ago
No way. In my world, "fast paced environment" is code for "we don't have enough employees to do the work we're contractually obligated to do because we under bid it, so expect your workday to be like an EF5 tornado and your home is now your weekend place".
Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
My job's fast paced environment meant documenting and accounting for every. single. minute of my 10 hour shift. Wasted more time doing that than in problem solving.
A P 2 years ago
8:01 - documented clocking in. 8:02 - documented task from 8:01. 8:03 - documented task from 8:02.
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#87
Snug As A Bug In A Rug
Grey Beard 2 years ago
I had a meeting invite sent to me for 5pm on a Friday. I replied "just an FYI, my body has accepted this meeting invite but my mind has declined it".
Robert Matz 2 years ago
By 0900 I’ve already been up for 4 hours and accomplished every critical task on my remit. I then chill out for the next 7 hours waiting to fix easily fixable stupid s**t bungled by those who can’t find their a**e with both hands before noon. Folks like this OP are money in the bank to me!
devotedtodreams 2 years ago
9 am? I've had meetings suggested at 8 am, which is when I'm usually just arriving at work. Like, effing great, can I at least drop off my backpack before it starts? -.-
#88
Basically
LuLuBelle 2 years ago
Not all of us. Some of us stock shelves and operate cash registers. Or are we not people too?
readingthequibbler 2 years ago
I myself cut fabric while people tell me what they're making/b***h about how stupid I am (retail sucks ballz)
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#90
I Is Her. And She Is Me
#91
It’s A Wednesday Alright
#92
Life In Hr
Vicky Phenny 2 years ago
In this case "hot goss hits the masses" means the juicy gossip reaches the majority of people.
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Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself 2 years ago
I'm my case it will be a further several weeks before I catch on.
A P 2 years ago
Oh, we didn't fire him, we just corrected the payroll error.
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#94
Ok, Hear Me Out. What If We All Just Stopped?
#97
Rbf For Real
#98
Just Kidding, This Is What They Pay Me To Do
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
I would tell my niece and nephew ( jokingly) if you guys ever ever need anything call aunt Nena ( she’s my more responsible older sister)
#99
Getting Ready
#101
Me Rn Running Payroll. You Are Freaking Welcome
A P 2 years ago
The failing to request pto or the drinking under the desk?
Load More Replies... Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
When your manager sends a memo stating no PTO will be approved during the holiday season.
#105
Checking In
Jacki moore 2 years ago
Sounds about right. Checking in but not really caring whatever the answer is
#106
Me On Monday
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ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
I love this. Not complaining, but - I've noticed a plethora of east European writers - no Caribbean, no American, or British. Just me? I enjoy these - in fact, I've added so many to my preferences - so no shade. Just a curious fact.
ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
I love this. Not complaining, but - I've noticed a plethora of east European writers - no Caribbean, no American, or British. Just me? I enjoy these - in fact, I've added so many to my preferences - so no shade. Just a curious fact.
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