50 Job Listings With Requirements So Ridiculous People Walked Away Immediately (New Pics)

Yes, 100%

This is great. I ALWAYS get calls for interviews after I've accepted another job - without fail.

I feel that the whole application and hiring process has become a true nightmare and I totally approve of this.

Most of the jobs I’ve had, in almost 40 years in the paid workforce, I could have done as an after-school job when I was a teenager. You do NOT have to be very smart to work in the typical U.S. corporate workplace.

Linkedin be like "Last week, my two-years-old son asked me for a lollipop. I saw this as a teaching moment and told him that nothing in the world is free and only disciplined people who hustle hard get what they want. He did all chores around the house for a week. After a week, I didn't buy him the lollipop and said that the feeling of a job well done should be the most important reward. He burst into tears, hugged me and profusely thanked me for setting him on the right path in life."

Can you explain the gap in your staff that you're trying to fill?

That's horrible, I don't care what race somebody is. If somebody from a different race is more qualified they should be hired. I hope you turned those racist jerks into the EEOC or whatever it's called if you're not in the US.

Never major in something you hate—regardless of how good the employment prospects are. You’ll be working for several decades, and no matter what your job is, it will k**l your soul. So make the most of college. Major in something you like that you’re good at; party; and make good friends. Those good memories will have to hold you for a while.

The only things a “competitive” salary competes with are the most basic bills, like rent, electricity, and food.

I wrote one about 25 years ago. 😂 I just update certain words to make it specific now.

They said to the clanker....

Sometimes your own medicine is not particularly tasty.

"I'll answer that in 7 months"

In that case, why not just support yourself by personal fundraising (GoFundMe, panhandling, etc.), and cut out the middleman?

If you voted Republican…..FAFO. 🤷🏻‍♀️

🤣 Gee that's subtle!

WTF is so scary about recent graduates that an unfulfilled position is considered a better risk??

From rat race to goose farm. I don’t see anything wrong with that.

"What makes me 'different' is I don't do TikTok. At all."

LinkedIn also manages to focus on sending me potential positions based on something I haven't done for 20 years or for the field that I oversaw for a couple of years but had no expertise in - very useful, thanks.

Better "I can't, I signed the Official Secrets Act."

There's always so much else to infer a candidate's age that they wouldn't really need this anyway. BTW It's only really a US thing that you don't include age/DoB on the job application/CV. I only came across it once vetting for a position based in NY (I was in CH, international team) and it stuck out as very strange, but his university history made it pretty obvious how old he was. Which was 52, for a programming position. He got the job, was technically competent, but didn't really fit, lasted about 6 months IIRC, but nothing to do with his age,

A long time ago (25 years I think) I worked at a university. One day a guy came in to the office, handed me his business card and a $100 bill. He asked if I would type out a letter saying he had graduated from our Masters program. Apparently his employer had caught him lying on his resume and he needed something to confirm he had the degree. The best part is that he was the Director of HR. 🤣🤣 I was a little offended that he only offered $100. 😂 My boss told him to get lost and kept his business card. I don't know what happened to him, but I assume he lost his job. Idiot.

Prompt: There is clearly something wrong here. What's going on? Why the sinister requirements? AI responce: 1. The Most Likely Scenario: "Body Shopping" or Shadow Staffing This is a common but unethical practice in some consulting circles. What it is: The company ("Upward Tech") has likely sold a client on a project by claiming to have a team of expert, senior, on-shore (e.g., North American or European) engineers. In reality, they may not have those people or want to pay for them. The Deception: They hire you, potentially at a lower rate (e.g., if you are in a country with a lower cost of living), and have you pretend to be "John Smith from Upward Tech's Austin office" during calls. The client believes they are getting a local, senior expert but are actually getting someone else.

Scamarama-ding-dong!

"[ Company ] is now hiring for our HR department. Primary job requirement is the ability to tell nothing but lies for a full 40-hour week."

I see that Elon Musk is hiring.

While I agree that people should not be on the phone for stuff not related to work (except for emergencies) I am disgusted by this note . This is pathetic.

Fluffy Cat Sleeps

Fluffy Cat Sleeps

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No. My time is not that cheap

lolol

Dang ALL the companies I ever worked for do not exist anymore.

I'm under the impression that my fate was decided by rock/paper/scissors.

Or the newspaper? I remember looking for jobs in the classified section when I was younger. And Monster used to be THE site to find employment. 😂

Oxymoronic to want a literate, well read, intellectually curious who is also conservative and anti woke.

All young, all white…..Young Republicans Club?

Lol, they do our payroll. Workday that is.

It went TILT

Let me rephrase: "Are you in a protected class and going to sue us if you don't get promoted fast enough?"

They can dish it out but they can't take it

Delusional, more like. Oh wait, that is the title lol

It'll be a cold day in Hell when I interview with a d**n machine for a job.

WTH?

A*******y? Åss-kîssy?

I just posted about my son's friend doing that without any success.

You should have been suspicious when he claimed his name was Mia.

I think it's C but I don't get the point of the question.

I took one of these for non-academic jobs. It was looong and exhausting. Afterwards I seemingly vanished from the system and could never get back in to that part of the system,

Never work for free. These tasks that get assigned before a job is offered….they’re just trying to weasel out of paying people.

I don't have a problem with this. We rightly cheer applicants who send rude messages about sloppy and disrespectful recruitment processes, and I see no reason why the reverse isn't acceptable. If you can't be bothered to make sure your application matches the job you're applying for, there's no reason for an employer to take you seriously.

Well screw that. I ain't typing out m resume a second time!

Automated reply system.

"It totally won't have any effect on your hiring... Why are we asking in the first place? Oh, you know, reasons..."

Heck, the interview is too, by these stories!

Short notice meetings with HR and manager are never a good sign.

Super illegal age discrimination

1711 applications over 18 months to finally get ONE job. That. Is. B******T. It shouldn’t be that way. The Boomers are retiring, so their jobs should be opening up. When PEOPLE and not algorithms were looking at applications, sending out/dropping off maybe 20 applications max was enough to get several interviews and land at least one job offer back in the day.

This. 4000 applications and then this. I am a boomer and I remember how things used to be, and I am genuinely sorry the process has turned into this automated mess.