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We are all spoilt for choice when it comes to sharing things on our social media feeds.
From adorable pet photos to boomer jokes, the internet is filled with entertaining content.
And out of everything the online world has to offer, we love our daily dose of memes. Today, we’ve compiled some hilarious yet painfully relatable memes from an Instagram account to add some joy to your day. Keep scrolling, Pandas, to explore bite-sized pieces of digital comedy.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Rigor Moreno 1 year ago
That will definitely stop them from crying and appreciate the sense of humor. :D
RELATED:
#2
Sunny Day 1 year ago
Forget the career. I just want to hang out with Charlene.
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Cactuar Jon 1 year ago
I love Charlene. I love how she shows how much of an absolute blast she's having in every picture! Pure, genuine joy.
Julia Mckinney 1 year ago
She may have a frown on her face but I can see the secret twinkle in her eyes.
BROmanicus85 1 year ago
I don't have social media accounts, but pages like this one make me want one so I could follow the page for more Charlene photos!!! :D
#3
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
My little nephew ordered me to play football with him. Then he put me in the penalty box for unknown reasons.
HTakeover 1 year ago
I learned an invaluable lesson years ago at an indoor match. Lots of little groups with their own competing randomly, we were cheering for our own in multiple places, making a lot of noise, and generally having a good time while not caring too much about the outcome. A couple of the overseers were hanging out nearby and one commented that we're making a lot of noise. The other said, "yeah... isn't it great?" and genuinely meant it. They're kids, cheer for 'em even if they're not yours & not on your team. Everybody benefits.
Cecil 1 year ago
I love this. I'll never forget how a couple fellow soccer moms glared at me because my 6 yr old didn't play well. I felt bad for their kids and for them, really. How uptight can you get? Seriously, you're angry about a little kid not playing well?
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Scott Rackley 1 year ago
I've red carded parents twice. Once in a under 12 girls and once on a under 15 boys select team. One left. The other I declared a no contest since he wouldn't leave. No scholarships were handed out on either day.
Memes have long been a part of human culture, but in the last few years, their internet following has grown significantly. These visual snippets are used for diverse reasons; popular brands use them to advertise their products, and they are also humorously utilized in political contexts to convey complex ideas.
And online communities share hilarious memes about various aspects of everyday life.
#4
Artsy Bookworm 1 year ago
Especially if it's going to give me money. The crow and I can find a place to live together then
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Rosie Red 1 year ago
I've been feeding crows for years. They know me and follow us when I walk my dog. They're never given me a gift! Come on crows, do better!
2x4b523p 1 year ago
I’ve been hearing them caw every time I walk the dogs. After all I’ve been reading here on BP I started paying attention and realized the caws always come from ahead of us but in sight. I think they are warning other crows we are coming because my dog hates birds. He caught pigeon before but never a crow, luckily they are too smart. Now I’m scared the crows consider me enemy as well. I would bring them offerings but they never come near us.
Load More Replies... HTakeover 1 year ago
They also understand trade value. So if you want a particular kind of reward/return, keep a couple kinds of seeds/treats. Give them low valued treats for low valued items, and quality treats for quality items. Pretty quickly they'll start bringing your valued item more & more often.
Terri Johnson 1 year ago
A group of them is called a 'murder of crows', so yeah, that would work...
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Farnzy 1 year ago
Damn maybe I'm trying to hard. I want crow friends so bad but they must smell my desperation
Cool crow 1 year ago
Dry dog food is healthy for them. Crows come visit on my balcony. They land and look at me and give me the side eye. "Hey, hurry up lady, it's snack time and the kids at home are hungry!". They are so beautiful in their shiny black plumage.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 year ago
I keep trying to befriend the crows that hang out in the fields and backyards on my street (we live on the outskirts of a rural farm town), but the squirrels tend to steal everything I put out for the crows. Cracked corn, raw peanuts in the shell, cat food, fruit, doesn’t matter. I have to figure out how to get the treats solely to the crows, without the squirrels foiling my plans.
HTakeover 1 year ago (edited)
Have you tried putting out a "no-squirrels allowed" sign? :D Seriously though, they also like a little scrambled eggs & raw meat. So put out a few little strips of junk meat and the squirrels should leave it alone. Then as the crows associate you with it, they'll let you know when they're there & ready for more and you keep building from there.
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Kathrin Pukowsky 1 year ago
I read that as "feeding some cows". The mental image was glorious.
#5
MotherofGuineaPigs 1 year ago
We have a holiday and we notice. No strike needed.
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Ellie Ahmed 1 year ago
I always remember my English teacher in high school telling a student "you really should go to university because you're so intelligent, you don't want to end up in a ~trade~". I cannot explain how disgusted her face and voice looked at the word trade. Even back then I was like wtf ever, lots of people love working in trades and do better out of it anyway. My brother does and he's had lots of success in his field and loves the job
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David 1 year ago
Depends what city, and if there is snow overtime. In NYC teachers start at $64,789 a year, right out of college, and maxes out at 120K if you max out certs and degrees by year 23. DSNY Garbage Men starts at $43,305 and maxes out at 20 years at 100k (unless you move in admin positions). However you get really good overtime pay for snow (every garbage man here I know prays for a bad winter), and if you volunteer for overtime shifts you can earn very well. In 2021 there was 94 sanitation workers who pulled an extra 100K+ from all the overtime shifts they took plus snow duty. So base pay here, teachers get better, but both pay very well, with great pension plans and benefits
Felix Quinones 1 year ago
Guvment job as one who didn't do well in school would say, but nowadays the "garbage man" is most likely a private contractor.
Nikki Gross 1 year ago
Hell, the Sanitation Workers where I live don't even have to leave their truck. They just chill inside and work an automated arm and the same goes for our recycle people too. They get full benefits and are off every federal holiday and work for the city, so hell sign me up.
Vanessa Panerosa 1 year ago
My husband is in finance, has a preternatural knack for it, and when he was in third grade he had a whole career mapped out to be a garbage man. He knew at 8 that they have the best deal - minimal effort for maximum payout plus (back then) it stilled required physical fitness which he also felt important. He knows what he’s talking about and I fully concur with the sentiment.
#6
Ace 1 year ago
The whole world thought that Trump running fro pres in 2016 was a joke - no really, that's honestly what I thought when I first read it, wondered whether it was April 1st. Sadly it didn't stop it happening.
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Jack Burton 1 year ago
No it was really important to me from France. Watching Trump lying at every sentence and Biden barely alive helped me dealing with the s****y political we got here.
sturmwesen 1 year ago
Story time: we have a dirty rag (Lappen in German) for the paws. I started calling it "Le Pen" after one news article too many about her. Now I tell the dog to bring the "french nationalist" and clean dirty paws with "her".
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David 1 year ago
It is easier to ignore your neighbors if one of them doesn't want to drive their monster truck through your yard and do doughnuts in your garden.
Parmeisan 1 year ago
Exactly. I watched it not to laugh, but because I feel it's important to be at least semi-educated on what's going on just to the south of me. I wanted to know how much the papers were exaggerating. (For what it's worth, a fair bit I think. Biden was not as bad as I'd heard.)
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nancy 1 year ago
Honestly, it looked like two people were chosen from the stroke unit at a nursing home to stand up and pretend to be coherent. JFC America... choose better people to run for president!!!
Sam E 1 year ago
We tried! Apparently there are more insane than sane people that can vote.
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Wondering Alice 1 year ago
Sorry, kind of have to watch because it is far away and I have zero say so it's way easier than watching our own terrible situation and trying to decide who I can't stand the least (UK, but could be many places right now)
ThisIsMyDisplayName 1 year ago
The US comments on the rest of the world all the time, so we're getting our own back - we've all got the popcorn out watching the comedy.
Sam E 1 year ago
It isn't comedy when you think that one of these two people will have control of nukes!
Load More Replies... Often humorous or sarcastic in nature, memes gain popularity quickly on the internet. However, not all of them go viral. A meme that reaches millions within hours usually resonates with common experiences and makes us laugh. The secret lies in a combination of factors like relatability, timeliness, and visual appeal, among others.
A blog by Data Dab points out, “The science behind virality reveals that human psychology is at the core of what content spreads. By tapping into emotions like humor, outrage, or hope and driving needs like self-expression, connection, and entertainment, viral content captivates the masses.”
#7
Alex 1 year ago
Well, Lucius, just make sure you don't hide socks for them to find.
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Alex Walford 1 year ago
Can’t wait till I’m scrolling through Webster dictionary and I find this
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detective miller's hat 1 year ago
My friend did this with tiny plastic farm animals one time when she was watching my cat while I was away. We were still finding them years later until we eventually moved. Pretty sure the new residents will continue to find small farm animals until the end of time.
David Beaulieu 1 year ago
My daughter (14) got these and gives them to her friends for the opposite reason. She gives them to her friends to remind them they don't want babies yet.
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
Imagine this as part of a wedding speech, 50th anniversary speech, or eulogy. Because I know she won’t stop at hiding the thousands of tiny babies, there will be plenty of speech/eulogy material to add to the list. She sounds like a blast to be around. A harmLESS prankster.
Cloakred_Is_Bored 1 year ago
My uncle did this which those little ducks! Except 400 of them. They’re. F*****g. Everywhere.
#8
Jill Rhodry 1 year ago
Worse is when there's no blood in the shower - so you think, yea I can hope out now...yeah, you know the rest...
Glenn Cuneo 1 year ago
I can top that...... Try taking a shower without your colostomy bag attached--- and you look down and see s**t all over the bottom of the shower......
EmAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇩🇿🇵🇸 1 year ago
In my case it's my catheter bag has come loose pee foot bath 😂
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MotherofGuineaPigs 1 year ago
Those are reserved for the sneezes. Then you give birth to a plum.
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#9
Michelle C 1 year ago
Sometimes calling out ridiculousness with class while seeming as a ridiculous as can be works! I hope Catherine learned a lesson she will never forget!
teto85 1 year ago (edited)
We have a clowder of 5. Two that look like Chocolate point Oriental Shorthairs (Siameses). A big black fur ball, she looks like a Norwegian Forest Cat, a calico and a little tuxedo who we call Fred. After Mr Astaire.
Mary Peace 1 year ago
I like your descriptions. I had a tuxedo who passed away last year, he was called Bibby. (I'm British, he looked as if he had a 'bib' around his neck!)
Load More Replies...Most memes have a short shelf life, but there are a few that are always around. Evil Kermit is one such meme. The meme is a screenshot from the 2014 movie Muppets Most Wanted, where Kermit the Frog encounters Constantine, his evil twin, who is dressed like a Sith Lord.
In the movie, Constantine is a master crook who just got out of a gulag, and he tells Kermit what to do. In the meme, Kermit the Frog faces a hooded version of himself, symbolizing the internal conflicts we often face.
#10
Rosemary 1 year ago
My boss called me a week after I was in a head-on collision to ask when was I coming back to work. No "get well soon" or such, ever.
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Senjo Krane 1 year ago
I dont understand why life in the USA seems so hard, from what I pick up on the internet. Why dont you all revolt and make things better?
Sharon Harmon 1 year ago
Over 300 million people in the US and we have the choice between a convicted felon dictator wannabee and Methusalah for president, neither of which care what happens to the average person. With cults on both sides blind to any other solution.
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martin734 1 year ago
Me in the UK this year: I will be taking the summer off to travel around Ireland with my dogs.
tuzdayschild 1 year ago
I worked for company that told a young woman she could not take the day off because her grandmother wasn't having a real funeral. Her gran's entire house was washed away in a delta hurricane and no one has seen her since. It was a memorial service.
EmAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇩🇿🇵🇸 1 year ago
God almighty this is beyond cruel and that person needs to be throat punched. I am so shocked
Load More Replies... Maria Maria 1 year ago
This is sad but true. Here in Sweden it is mandatory to take 5 weeks off per year. It's paid and no employer will argue. You can choose when you want to take those days off, but it's mandatory to use up at least two weeks during the summer.
Pani Trakovická 1 year ago
The Europe part too. I had a surgery end of April, was sitting at home till end of June, getting about 70% of monthly income. Got a pretty sun tan on the terrace. Now, after 4 days of working again, I have to take my previously scheduled 2 week vacation, on the beach in Italy.
Load More Replies... brittany 1 year ago (edited)
no joke. i live in america. i was induced early bc my blood pressure was out of control. kid was in the nicu and i was on mandatory bedrest. job called me the day i delivered and asked if i could come back to work that monday (i gave birth on saturday) and said they couldnt hold my spot if i didnt return. (i know now this is illegal, did not know then) i told them i was not coming in and promptly was fired. i did get unemployment though they did try to fight me on it. America s*cks
brittany 1 year ago
kiddo pulled through alright, just needed extra help breathing for a while
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Tiny Dancer 1 year ago
Here in Canada, my late hubby had been working at his job for about 23 years when he got Stage 4 Throat Cancer. They put him on Long-Term Benefits with nearly 75% of his wages. For 10 years! 10 years as he fought the cancer (and won). They were negotiating when he'd be coming back when the fool choked on a pizza last year. The healthcare and job-related nonsense down south breaks my heart to hear.
David Beaulieu 1 year ago
As someone who lives in the US and works for a Dutch company in a mostly Dutch department, this is VERY true.
Nikole 1 year ago
I live in the U.S. and also work for a Dutch company! Honestly, no complaints.
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S R Godwin 1 year ago
Love it - you made me laugh during a bout of 4 a.m. insomnia. I award you the CDM (Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate bar)
Load More Replies... Catharina Geerts 1 year ago
I was wondering about that too :D And how to get the eggs, of course :)
Load More Replies... Anikulapo 1 year ago
Those are satellite dishes? What channel do they watch? Alpha Centauri KXZW?
Tom Brincefield 1 year ago
All over in the 80s. Also known as the West Virginia state flower because they put up so many.
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Pill Nathan Whitely 1 year ago
"We leave because we dream of a distant world where KFC is unknown."
#12
Jill Rhodry 1 year ago
For precision, mine said - I hope you're proud of yourself - I can still hear it
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xolitaire 1 year ago
You literally can not say this sentence out loud without sounding sarcastic or condescending.
kelsischloe1986 1 year ago
That's not true at all. Tone matters and it is very much so said out of encouragment and love most of the time. Not just being condescending and sarcastic.
Load More Replies... Id row 1 year ago
I think my mom would have to look up the word 'proud'. I've never heard it in over 50 years.
PFD 1 year ago
I knew a mum who was into this concept. Once I was with her and her son at his concert, and I said sth like, "You must be so proud of him." She said, "No. Why should I be proud? It's his achievement." And I get what she was trying to do, but he looked like she'd punched him in the stomach... again. So I'm not sure it really works that way.
Ria C. 1 year ago
It's weird but I always say I'm happy for you instead of I'm proud of you. I've felt like I'm taking credit for someone else's achievement.
Load More Replies... Ace 1 year ago
It would have been really nice if at some point in my growing up a parent had ever said they were proud of me. At least I'd have been motivated, even if only for the wrong reasons.
Dilly Millandry 1 year ago
I remember my parents informing me 'we were proud of you until you did xxxx (insert random ordinary thing a child does). Would have been nice to know that 'proud' had happened without it being offered up scuppered already. Probably the only time I heard it and it's hard to believe something positive ever existed when it's handed out as a rebuke like that. Parents, eh! 🙄 It's why I struggle with the concept 'parents know best for their child'. Some of you might (and I know there ARE good parents - my husband had two of them, the greedy sod) but all too many don't.
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Leah Banks 1 year ago
With my parents it was more like a question..."are you proud of yourself?" Always made me feel like c**p!
The meme's idea is to show someone talking to themselves, and it typically has a "me to me" quotation next to it. Say, for instance, I have to start saving money. Me to myself: Let’s buy a new car. It reflects the struggles one faces in making bad decisions despite knowing better.
#13
Howl's sleeping castle 1 year ago
I swear there are levels of being unlucky. I get the symptoms that run for 2 weeks before the show actually starts
Rosemary 1 year ago
Wait till you hit menopause and the hot flashes start. Mine finally seem to be over after16 years.
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detective miller's hat 1 year ago
For me it's a day of absolutely unhinged unbridled RAGE. You wouldn't think a chubby 5' woman as being intimidating, but apparently I scare people.
K Miller 1 year ago
I never used to get those symptoms when I was younger. Now that I'm almost 40 though, the mood swings are wild. I look forward to and dread menopause at the same time lol.
Lene 1 year ago
Me as well! My mom "promised" me that I'd go into menopause early because both her and my grandma did. But..... no. My doctors disagree. But I look forward to the periods being a thing in the past.
Load More Replies... cerinamroth 1 year ago
I honestly just got the hang of it and then I was pregnant. Then there's a whole lot of other things to get used to. Then you start your periods again with a greater degree of self-awareness, before being propelled headlong into the perimenopause! We ovary-owners are rollercoaster stunt women!
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
I feel like stuff like this isn‘t affecting you when you are younger… or you don‘t notice as much. But when you get older it really hits you
Id row 1 year ago
Wait until she hits menopause. She'll wish she could go back to having periods. No one talks about how brutal it is and I was not prepared. But, yeah, I'd rather go back to being in pain and bleeding for 25% of my life than menopause.
Nikki Gross 1 year ago
This!! I always had really rough and horrible periods but at least I had a break in between cycles. Menopause is brutal non-f*****g-stop special kind of hell that never seems to end.
Load More Replies... Colleen Glim 1 year ago
To be fair, menopause is also no damn joke! Hot flashes, night sweats (that are a whole other level of suck), mood swings, etc. it’s out of the frying pan into the fire style of thing
MotherofGuineaPigs 1 year ago
When my mother was a week out - we all started working overtime. We wanted to throw a party when she got her ovaries removed. She wouldn't let us.
Disgruntled Pelican 1 year ago
And then there's me who bleeds 2+ weeks a month with 1ish weeks in between. I'm just perpetually mad at the world. BUT a partial hysterectomy is coming my way in under 2 months so I've got that going for me.
My O My 1 year ago
Partial hysterectomy? As a women tired of her periods: hell no! Why leave sth of that bleeding hurting b***h inside? (As someone with a bit of medical knowledge, yes, I am sure there is a reason to it)
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David 1 year ago
Who do you think judges you after you die before telling you where you end up
Load More Replies... kelsischloe1986 1 year ago
Yes, but from the sound of it, it was self-defense.
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kelsischloe1986 1 year ago
But did you die?!! Oh no wait, yes he did. I'll see myself out now. But only because I have places to be. Lol! :)
#15
OneWithRatsAndKefir 1 year ago
A tad stereotypical, perhaps… but in the end, who wouldn’t want to be associated with naan? It’s pretty good!
EmAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇩🇿🇵🇸 1 year ago (edited)
Well i am a Muslim and was in a home wares place very popular here in Ireland and i got looked at, well she blank stared me, shook her head and said 'tea towels' 🤦🏼♀️
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Mason Kronol 1 year ago
Not gonna lie, all it takes sometimes is a Spanish commercial and I’m ready for a burrito or enchiladas. We are lucky to live in an area where there are a lot of immigrants from all over the world and I really like Mexican/Central/South American food. A 16 year old girl gave me a recipe for scratch home made enchilada sauce. It’s amazing when I have the time and energy to. Now I need to visit the new Nepalese restaurant because I hear the food is great and they use some hot a$$ peppers.
Dick Fint 1 year ago
I had that happen to me the other day. A lady looked at me and said to her husband "don't forget the trash bags honey".
Sunny Day 1 year ago
Just tell yourself that you must look like the Hefty trash bag ad guy. The one who's about 6'6" and a wall of muscle.
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Almost sunny 1 year ago
Hmmmm, I had a guy turn into my aisle at a supermarket and show interest, then stare down at my pregnant stomach and back off real quick!!! Hilarious
Michael MacKinnon 1 year ago
The Honourable Tim Uppal is a Canadian Member of Parliament (Edmonton-Mill Woods).
The Distracted Boyfriend meme was born from a stock photo of a man checking out another woman while his girlfriend looks on disapprovingly. It went on to become a symbol of cheating, but in a lighthearted way.
People started humorously conveying the idea of romantic infidelity in partnerships by captioning the photo with amusing remarks.
#16
Vanessa Panerosa 1 year ago (edited)
I once overheard my husband say this exact thing while on a conference call and speaking directly to his managing director. I had to leave the room! 🤣🤣🤣. COVID sure had its moments of absolute delight.
Cydney Golden 1 year ago
Sign in my classroom, "If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your teacher suggested in the first place."
#17
Roan The Demon Kitty 1 year ago
I need to know who this person was, that instead of helping their poor cat, decided that they had to take a picture first...
Mary Schissler 1 year ago
When I had cat door in my house a raccoon came in and trashed my house. Needless to say I no longer have a cat door.
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
But now you can get a cat door that only opens to your cat (or cats).
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Lost Penny 1 year ago
Omg, I had to zoom in because at first, I saw 2 cats in threatening poses. After I zoomed in, I realized those were ears... /facepalm
Mary Peace 1 year ago
Don't feel bad, I did the same. I read 'WE have a situation...', so expected more than one.
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Patricia Smith 1 year ago
Put the phone down, horrible owner! Save your poor cat that you don't deserve!
dollh h 1 year ago
Might be from a security camera. I get the funniest neighborhood cat pictures that way.
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kelsischloe1986 1 year ago
I have never seen a cat scared before. I guess you can call him a scaredy cat! Bazinga! In my Sheldon Cooper voice. :-)
#18
Pan Narrans 1 year ago
In our lab we have a department that specialises in making difficult chemical solutions. The old short and bald male employee got a young tall guy with a lot of hair to help out. That's when I put a picture of dr Bunsen and Beaker on the door. It stayed on for a year, they both liked it.
Me. Just Me. 1 year ago
The Animal where I work is the first person I thought of when I imagined doing this for my workplace!
Load More Replies... Nathan Shipman 1 year ago
I'm guessing the supervisor was always in a panic mode either screaming in a high pitched voice or saying "Me me me me me me me me, ME"
There are times in life when things don't add up. Imagine someone calculating how they can get 8 hours of sleep and wake up at 7 a.m. after deciding to watch "just one more episode" of their favorite TV show at 5 a.m. The Math Lady or Confused Lady meme is used to represent such moments of intense confusion.
In the image, an actress looks visibly confused while mathematical equations and formulas float around her head. This is a well-known meme about situations where logic fails.
#19
You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat 1 year ago
Hey USA President hopefuls, promise me this and I’ll vote for you!
#20
Ni Mho 1 year ago
Is that really the job you want when there are professional scratch ‘n sniff sticker testers in this world?
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Upstaged75 1 year ago
I don't even wear a bra to work anymore! OK, so I work from home. ;) People only see me on video calls from the shoulders up. Why bother?
Illustrious G 1 year ago
Not wearing a bra is the thing I miss most about quarantine!! 😛
Load More Replies... MalibuClassicMan 1 year ago
I'd like to be president of the U.S. so does that mean I have to dress like a dumbass
MotherofGuineaPigs 1 year ago
I look like a deranged mid-life woman, with cat and guinea pig pictures all over my cubicle walls.
#21
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
Being a Karen. Owning a private arsenal of guns. Being a Trump supporter. Being Trump. All of them need to spend the rest of their lives in rubber rooms.
Dogs on a train 1 year ago
who us trump? what rubber rooms? what's a arsenal?
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I write Father's Day cards to my boyfriend as if they were written by our pets. (They sell "Cat Dad" and "Dog Dad" cards for Father's Day now, so clearly I'm not the only insane person out there.) I'll get little pet-safe ink pads and "sign" the cards with the cats' and dogs' pawprints. I guess in your opinion I have a mental illness XD
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Glenn Cuneo 1 year ago
I sent my dog a post card from Northern Iraq in 2003. I had to use cardboard from a mre box.. I wrote it in dog "Woof! woof wooof wooof?" sorta stuff. She never wrote back. I actually still have the card in a box.
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David Martin 1 year ago
Listen...I'm not saying my cat has her own Facebook. But I'm not NOT saying that either
Prince of Darkness 1 year ago
Believing in magical powers (including magic rocks/crystals, astrology, tarot, prayer, etc)
Clive Bryan 1 year ago
Also posting pictures of dog and pretending they are talking using “dog language” always sounds absolutely moronic
Memes are not just still images, they can also be gifs and videos. Just like the Homer Simpson Backs into a Bush gif meme. It was born from an episode of The Simpsons, a popular American animated sitcom. In the scene, Homer is seen backing into a bush until he vanishes.
Well, if you find yourself in awkward situations that you would prefer not to be in, you can always use this meme.
#22
Jack Burton 1 year ago
Yeah but imagine how many doggy funeral she must have handle, that's too much for me
Ashlie Benson 1 year ago
I currently have five dogs, we had six but one just passed away. It's terrible. But, I saw a quote that said "Every time you lose a dog, a part of your heart dies. But every time you get a dog, you gain a piece of their heart. I hope to live long enough for my heart to be mostly dog.", and I feel that in my soul.
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agermanhome 1 year ago
I knew a 104 year old lady. Her greatest joy in life was her great-grandson, who was also her best friend.
Vicki Perizzolo 1 year ago
dogs / pets - yes, children - no - got my tubes tied years ago to stand on that premise.
Layla Layla 1 year ago
Every 100+ year old has a different reason for why they lived this long
Phaiax 1 year ago
Sad birthday parties I imagine. Friends all dead, no family. When my wife's grandparents celebrate, the house is full of people that exist or had come together because of them. Grandpa plays with his grand grand kids like a youngster, is 85 years old. This picture is one of the reasons, I wanted kids.
Agent Smith 1 year ago
People who choose not to have kids lead interesting, fulfilled lives in other ways. Needing people around you is not a necessary aspiration when you see the world has so many other beautiful things to enjoy.
Load More Replies... #23
Barong 1 year ago
“…but sometimes, to be nice to someone, it means you have to be honest with them, even if it hurts their feelings” Terry Cruz as Terry Jeffords in Brooklyn Nine-Nine
GenuineJen 1 year ago
Sometimes kindness doesn't look like kindness lol. Some people just need to know.
Jaya 1 year ago
So many people here are actually saying the kid is RIGHT? What is wrong with y'all. The kid is a bully or has a very hurtful attitude about his friends, this is not okay at all.
Noe 1 year ago
Agree with you Jaya. When her kid cries because he has no friends she will see that the teacher is right.
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 1 year ago
One of my best friends at school was not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and I had no qualms about letting her know it. I cringe now thinking about the things I said that didn't need saying. But we're still friends, half a century later and a continent apart, so she must have seen some good in me
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
My mum has the attitude of the son and it does her no good. She always feels the need to correct colleagues' spelling or grammar, or to try to get into debates so she can show off what she knows. I think it's a manifestation of an inferiority complex whereby she feels the need to prove herself by putting others down. It doesn't win her any friends, and it's no coincidence that there always seems to be someone at whatever job that she doesn't get on with. She fails to see that she's the common denominator.
#24
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
You have a kind employer, then. Most of them will stay home but expect YOU to open up the office/shop/store. To them, nuclear war falls under the same category as a tornado, hurricane, flood, or blizzard, and they expect you to get to work, even if you die trying. They’ll just prop you up and have you finish your shift before you can be buried.
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Remi (He/Him) 1 year ago
As someone living near enough to a major target, I don't need to plan 😅
Sunny Day 1 year ago
Ditto. Only question here is whether we see them go up before they come down.
Load More Replies... Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
You could outlive that. There are several people who survived both Hiroshima AND Nagazaki!
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Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
Well, it depends on where you live exactly and who is participating in the war. I live near a big US base in Germany…. I think I would be screwed no matter what I‘ll do.
Remi (He/Him) 1 year ago
I see the early exit by a blast a blessing really. The survival conditions are gonna be harsh and a disabled fatso like me has no survival skills to use . Yeah I know a bunch of stuff but so does anyone from Scouts or something. And it sounds exhausting.
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Der Kommissar 1 year ago
Get under desk. Cover the back of your head and eyes with your hands. THEN you can kiss your butt goodbye
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Such memes are often adored by many because they can be used in various contexts and situations. People enjoy sharing relatable content because it helps them express their feelings in a lighthearted way.
#25
Robert Beveridge 1 year ago
It's actually kind of impressive, since he's from Wisconsin and cheese wasn't mentioned even once.
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Sandy D 1 year ago
Reading this, I just knew it would be Wisconsin. I mean, we have some great small breweries that sell amazing beer. No excuse for drinking other stuff to excess, really . We have a kind of drinking culture f9r whatever reason. I mean, when a Wisconsin Badgers sports team makes away game playoffs or bowl games, a lot of fans travel there too. Quite a few times, the Wisconsin crowd actually drank bars dry of beer, some other stuff too.. and the bar owners zee always shocked how much they drank and how they still didn't act obnoxious.i guess we travel well and can handle out alcohol
Vidas Zlioba 1 year ago
Never drank us dry in Ann Arbor, but boy-oh-boy did you make an honest effort. Friendliest drunks I would see all season, with Penn State a close second. Fun Fact: Michigan Stadium begins serving beer this season, so get your tickets!
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Sue User 1 year ago
I wonder if those devices know it is a human. Would it be possible to rig something up to force plain air in ?
#26
Lost Penny 1 year ago
Mine just trips over the cat, lands on the potato musher face-first, and promptly gets knocked out by the cactus that resides just above the aforementioned utensil.
John Nelson 1 year ago
That actually happened to my family many years ago! Guy stalking my underage sister came into the house one night, and started rummaging through the kitchen drawers for a knife. (It was his M.O.). He was struggling to pull open the drawer with the knives as it was jammed up by a spatula, when I (16) came around the corner with a deer rifle. He ran, and never bothered us again. I actually got scolded by the sheriff for not shooting him! If he'd have gotten a knife, he had been in a mental institution several times for raping young girls at knife point, and when they interrogated him after his arrest, he confessed his plan was to kill me and my stepdad and rape my mom, my 15yo and 5yo sisters. He got 6 months in the institution again. But he did leave us alone after that.
#27
Jasmijn 1 year ago
No no, that just makes you the kind of man who doesn’t listen. The kind of man she’s referring to is usually an only child and is a mommy’s boy, to the extent where the “special lady” in his life his mother, not his wife. His mother usually tries to outdo the wife in almost everything to show her precious boy just how special he is.
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Jerome Lenovo 1 year ago
yeah, men talk a lot, alone, on their phone everywhere they can, call their friends every 4 minutes. Well known fact
#28
Dick Fint 1 year ago
I snarfed all over my screen on this. Iced tea right out the nose. I guess it's amusing because I'm ex-LEO. I remember back in the late 70's somebody looked at me and said "FUZZ" I rubbed my chin and said "No, clean shaven".
GenuineJen 1 year ago
Time for me to go to sleep. I read ex-LEO and wondered how you changed your sign. Like what would you want to be if not a Leo? A Capricorn maybe? Gemini? That's all folks!
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BrunoVI 1 year ago
This might be true for red, orange, blue and purple, but not the original lemon-lime. I am not going to kill my aging body in sports and then ask for "chartreuse." I might be the only guy there who knows what "chartreuse" means.
Channon Doughty 1 year ago
I think it might be best not to engage with anyone named sexpooping. That's a big red flag
Matt Richardson 1 year ago
This just doesn't work... there are more than just 5 flavors. Multiple flavors share colors.
These hilarious posts are a good way to share a good laugh with your family, friends, or colleagues. So, go on and share this with your loved ones. And don’t forget to tell us which one of these is your favorite.
#29
Farnzy 1 year ago (edited)
I think the answer is no because they usually require the root of the hair to do a DNA test, and I don't think Locks of Love is ripping peoples hair out at the root. Could be wrong. I'm sure there's some stuff you can get from just a hair. You can tell if it's human or not, or been color treated.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago (edited)
Hi! I did a class that focused on forensic science. You do usually need the root for DNA (except mitochondrial DNA I believe) but each strand of hair is unique to the person and microscopic analysis could link them.
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OneWithRatsAndKefir 1 year ago
I mean… that is the sort of question I want to ask. That is a good question.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
I've been donating hair to Locks of Love for 35 years. So far, every time my hair has been found at crime scene the jury has found reasonable doubt.
Jaya 1 year ago (edited)
Sounds like a typical 10 or 12 year old, doesn't it? I think this is the typical kind of questions that tweens always come up with.
Mr_Decapitation 1 year ago
I mean, pretty much? Kids that age are much smarter than people are willing to give them credit for
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Phantom Phoenix 1 year ago
Or... She's deviously disguising a desire to commit a crime & blame the incriminating DNA evidence on her donation to Locks of Love
#30
Tonyah Mcanelly 1 year ago
same here. Imagine how much money we would have saved
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Uncle Schmickle 1 year ago
I have the courage to go anywhere in the world, so will you pay for my travel?
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
As an American, it would take courage to travel to countries that either have no respect for us or downright hate us. I don't do group travel, so yeah, it would be a courageous act.
#31
Serial pacifist 1 year ago
And then the kid said: We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep.
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
How old do you think kindergarteners are? One? Kindergarteners are usually four or five years old. And a four or five year old is perfectly capable of saying this. Think for a second!
Load More Replies... Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
Wait… kindergarden in the US is 5-6 years old, right? Ok then, yeah a kindergardener might have said that. I imagine an exasperated voice or a sigh
#32
WindySwede 1 year ago
Well, they are saving up gor a house, can't buy new avocados just like that!
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Kathleen Pearlman 1 year ago
OMG. That just reminded me that I have 2 avocados in the fridge that have probably gone into senior citizenship by now
Mario Alberto 1 year ago
Lier, once you cut an avocado you have like 10 minutes before it goes bad.
#33
Rachel Parker 1 year ago
Neither of them are correct. It should be either, "Personally, I find bad English such a turn off." or, "Bad English is such a turn off for me". "Personally, bad English is such a turn off." is as wrong as her version.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Pointing out a redundancy is not an endorsement of the sentence structure. The second person did not supply an alternate version of the sentence.
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StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago
You have to be so careful & think hard, before you decide to type to roast peeps re: spelling/grammar, lol.
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
Oooh! All the red pens are out, and the grading of this posting has commenced. Bet they’re going to be all over my comment as well.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
Can confirm that your comment is perfectly unexceptionable. Unlike some of them.
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
An "irritating tautology" is itself an irritating tautology.
Load More Replies... Ash 1 year ago
Once you get deep into linguistics or proofreading, you realize that everything in language usage is relative. Nobody totally agrees on the rules. Different dictionaries give different spellings, and different style manuals require different grammar. In the end, the point of language is to communicate clearly. This is why linguistics is descriptive, not prescriptive.
#34
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Cats can convert any blanket into a weighted one, and there are dozens of kitty colours and patterns!
Ghostpotato 1 year ago
Unfortunately the placement is not always optional. Mine will lay either directly on your bladder or high on your chest so you can't breath properly.
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Julie Love 1 year ago
I made a bright red one. When I show others how, I tell them DO THE MATH FIRST. The blanket shouldn't be more than 10% of the body weight of the user, so I have a lovely soft red blanket for any 300lb anxious folks out there.
Montanavanna 1 year ago
My sister made her kids weighted blankets for Christmas a few years ago. Used their favorite patterns. So unless you make it yourself, I don't think so.
#35
Bored something 1 year ago
Bleeding hells yes. I used to think I was fat at 60kg. That was 20kg and 25 years ago.
Tabitha 1 year ago
In high school, I was 5”4’, and weighed 122 lbs. Since it was the seventies and everyone who was stylish was a size 0 X-ray, I thought I was chubby. I have looked at pictures of myself from that time, and I actually look kind of slender. Healthy slender, not anorexic. I grew two more inches between the ages of 18 and 22, so my final height has been 5’6” for over four decades. I now weigh 133 lbs, and do not think I’m chubby at all. If only I was in this mindset when I was in high school, and could tell myself I look great. Would’ve saved myself a lot of grief.
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Wysteria_Rose 1 year ago
Saddest thing recently was my husband found my high school diary. I was joking about it and how dramatic I was. I showed him the entry where I wrote how I wished I was beautiful like people said I was but I just didn't feel that way and hated the mirror. He started crying and hugged me because he hated that I was so young, obviously beautiful, and couldn't see it. It was like "Oh, shoot, I did not mean to trauma dump like it was a joke."
KillerKiwi 1 year ago (edited)
She wasn’t fat in any way and it made me angry that they acted like she was. Edit: in Love Actually
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Bryn 1 year ago
It really messed with my sense of what was a healthy weight & what was not. It took me years after high school to realize that I wasn't overweight or fat. I was on the higher end of the scale, sure, but still in the range. My friends were on the very lower end. It made me think that was normal, instead of the fringe
#36
Jaya 1 year ago
I too never invite my family to my Dungeons and Dragons nights 😉
Load More Replies... thorfinio longobardo 1 year ago
I would put my phone in Dungeons & Dragons mode if i only knew how to do it.
Upstaged75 1 year ago
There are people who leave their phone ON while they sleep? WTF is wrong with them??
Wondering Alice 1 year ago
Absolutely not one person who has my number would phone me at night. Anyone who would, is not the type of person I would give my number to. Even the people in my work WhatsApp group do not post late evening just incase somebody has WiFi on. I can count on one hand the late calls I have had, all of them genuine emergencies.
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T. 1 year ago
Ah, I am that person. The only thing that lets my phone ring and vibrate are actual phone calls (From 9am to 10pm) and select favourites can call 24/7. I do still get the notifications from apps, but they only appear on screen. It took away a lot of unnecessary stress, since I don't get distracted as often and now usually have the time to reply if needed.
Jess Smith 1 year ago
I thought there was a D&D setting for a second, and dang I've been missing out.
HI, I'M A SHOUTY MAN 1 year ago
I don't keep my phone on silent, mainly because barely anyone has my number and I don't have any apps that would send me notifications, and I go to bed the latest of my mates, so if I do get a notification while I'm trying to sleep it'll probably be an emergency or extremely funny, both of which I will happily be disturbed for.
#37
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
He has a whole series of modern still nature and is truly talented.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I would 100% put a print of this on my wall, not because I particularly like Taco Bell, but it would be hilarious to see guests' reactions to it XD
Load More Replies... Robert Beveridge 1 year ago
Someone PLEASE introduce the team behind Taco Bell Quarterly to Noah Verrier. (Yes, it is real-- https://tacobellquarterly.org)
#38
GenuineJen 1 year ago
Right outta the money! Seven practices? Nothing left after that kind of activity!
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BookFanatic 1 year ago
Honestly, "relearning algebra" is enough to keep me childfree right there.
Julie Zugz 1 year ago
Man, I feel better every damn day about not having kids. Best decision ever.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
Same - except I had to take both of my dogs to obedience classes and Puppy Playgroups when they were puppies, so that's similar, I suppose XD but at least it was way more fun for me than a human child's sports/dance/etc practice would be, since I love dogs XD
Load More Replies... MalibuClassicMan 1 year ago
Why do we do that to ourselves for real, it's not like we have'nt seen other people with kids
Steve Hall 1 year ago
Relearn algebra, I'm 70 and still having nightmares about algebra, and no Mr. A, I have not used it everyday in my adult life.
MotherofGuineaPigs 1 year ago
Told my daughter to let me know when they got to algebra so I could get her a tutor.
Parker karstaedt 1 year ago
I am about to go into high-school and I am taking math 2 so pls pray for me and on top of that I am playing american football I am 14 and taking all honors except for math
Spannermonkey 1 year ago
And people criticised me when I used to say (of having kids,) "No thanks, I prefer to learn from the mistakes of others."
#39
Auntriarch 1 year ago
I did a day trip in the Northern Belle train (think Orient express). We had to turn off our phones, my last message to my work colleagues was "morning peasants, just quaffing a peach Bellini as we speed past Gloucester, byeee"
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Considering the cost of business class, there is a question as to who is now poor.
Hi 1 year ago
I flew first class once. I got very drunk at a hotel bar and missed my flight. Decided best to rebook first class. It probably maid the lady that had to sit next to the very large smelly man snoring and wearing a GWAR tshirt quite pleased.
Vickie Adams 1 year ago
I was on standby and got upgraded to first class. I think it was because I was in uniform. That is a story I still tell.
#40
LB 1 year ago
Not for me. I got the Excel gene from my dad (came with the autism package). I love making a functional spreadsheet to automate calculations.
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Limey Cheesehead 1 year ago
I must be one of the very few who actually loves working on Excel. Yes, I'm a weirdo.
Me. Just Me. 1 year ago
I'm in your club of weirdos. I'm a bit of a junkie with Excel and it's the only level of programming I could ever get my head around.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
Actually, if you take the time to learn Excel, it can help clarify a lot, because it puts it in neat rows and columns, which can be sorted and tallied any way you want. When you see it all neatly organized and displayed in front of you, quite often a solution comes to you—sometimes several possible solutions. Plus, a balanced ledger is one of life’s most highly satisfying things, whether it’s the ledger you have to balance for work or, even more satisfying, your own personal ledger.
Id row 1 year ago
Oh, I love excel! I've even discovered bugs in it and was able to change the code to fix it. Now that's satisfying! (the glitch was incorporating pivot tables into a complex macro. It wasn't handling it properly, so I changed the VB code). But social media? Oh, I'm glad it wasn't around when I was a teenager. There would have been a lot more violence at my school.
#41
Howl's sleeping castle 1 year ago
I can do maths sometimes. I am a woman. That's enough reason
MadderPacker 1 year ago
I love pointing out that Jesus is an extremely tolerant and more importantly, God-level Wise man. And that He'd be veeery disappointed in their prejudices and practices. Yeah, they'd anachronistically invent rockets to launch me into the Sun.
Auntriarch 1 year ago (edited)
Buttons and hats. There was a time in Tudor England when wearing men's clothing didn't mean bifurcated lower garments; just having buttons instead of ties and hats instead of hoods, was cross dressing
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Kristal 1 year ago
Lol I'm considered an actual witch right now by many due to my Pagan beliefs. I would be burned so quick
Andy Cran 1 year ago
FYI,not many witches were burnt all were mostly hanged or drowned or died awaiting trial, burning was reserved for heretics and that's a whole new level of justification
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Tor Jackson 1 year ago
With some of my opinions on the church I definitely would’ve been burnt at the stake back then 😂😂
Jess Smith 1 year ago
Jewish. Doesn't want to convert. If I were to time travel in European history vast swaths of it would be, effectively or legally, closed off to me.
#42
Wondering Alice 1 year ago
Largely assumed by myself and everyone who knows me that I have infinite patience. Lately, I'm sensing that it might in fact be running out. No idea what that means, I have zero experience to know if it refills. Either that or people really suck now.
Riley Quinn 1 year ago
The smattering of patience I once had has all but disappeared as I've aged.
#43
BROmanicus85 1 year ago
You can recreate that feeling as an adult by changing the bed sheets, taking a shower on a hot day and immediately get in the sheets! Best feeling ever!
Penguin Panda Pop 1 year ago
That's assuming you live somewhere that the humudity is not turned all the way up. You will never be dry after a shower. Never.
Load More Replies... Robert Beveridge 1 year ago
Totally cleaned my closet one day when I was six or seven because the inside of my closet was bright yellow and I thought it was awesome. (This is the mid-seventies, walls were all beige, unless they were wood paneled.) I was stoked and showed my mom, and my parents immediately painted it beige. :( Forty-seven years later I haven't let that one go, and my mother still makes snide comments about people who have walls that aren't some form of off-white.
xolitaire 1 year ago (edited)
Errr...my mother LOVED redecorating our rooms while we were at school. She was (and still is) a master at redecorating in record time. To this day I have trust issues
Tom Brincefield 1 year ago
As long as the rooms were in the same house as when you left in the morning, you were good.
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somnomania (she/her, queer) 1 year ago
my mom taught me the best way to do this, which was to use graph paper to plot out the room and basic furniture shapes on separate paper, and move them around until i was satisfied!
MotherofGuineaPigs 1 year ago
My husband complained that he never knew if the furniture would be rearranged when he got up in the morning.
Nicole Weymann 1 year ago
Okay, reading this post AND the amount of people enthusiastically chiming in: the amount of energy I like to put into any of these projects (including changing the sheets) and the annoyance with the tasks themselves are anti proportional, and while I like thought experiments like "that wall could do with a new paint job, maybe this time with a dark red accent" the amount of WORK it takes to do immediately puts me off.
#44
CrunChewy McSandybutt 1 year ago
To all Americans, please don't bank at Wells Fargo. They will find a way to rob you blind.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 1 year ago
999 in the UK. even back when we had rotary phones, when 111 would have been much quicker in an emergency
I just work here 1 year ago
Back in the day as a single mom with literally $5.00 in my checking.
#45
Nosirrow 1 year ago
In Norway I used an ATM that had no English option. I told myself: Norwegian is a misspelled English, you can do this. And I did, successfully.
Me. Just Me. 1 year ago
And yet a year of Spanish on Duolingo and I know the proper word for just about every article of clothing but cannot identify most of the words on the ATM! Someone needs to invent a "Practical Duolingo".
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
Absolutely! I'm white af but I was adopted at birth into a Mexican family. I learned Spanish AND English simultaneously as a child XD I thought, when I took college classes, that I could ace the Spanish classes as my foreign language requirements for my degree. I did, but I was astounded at how UN-practical the classes were - they didn't teach stuff that the average person needs to know, linguistically. And I live in Southern California, where the #1 non-English language is Spanish! D: They teach you so many nouns, but not how to ask for directions, or where the restroom is, or how to ask for help, etc.
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#46
Phantom Phoenix 1 year ago
Some people are on their correct dose of Fuckitall
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Remi (He/Him) 1 year ago
Maybe the doc was being hypomanic at the time? The only explanation I can come up with
Cyndielouwhoo 1 year ago
Gotta be careful filling out those forms, ain't nobody got time for escaping an institution this afternoon!
#47
troufaki13 1 year ago
"Yes, let's perform a hysterectomy on her. That would solve the problem"
Prince of Darkness 1 year ago
Whom had? Really? On an unrelated but sort of related note, I think most people who demand that immigrants et al "speak English" are themselves functionally illiterate at best
Cecil 1 year ago
100%. Their motivation to be cruel stems from their desire to be superior to somebody else. Those who realize they haven't been able to win while playing on easy mode are particularly nasty.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 1 year ago
1870?? Sounds awfully close to 2024 USA. Women may still have the vote, but SCOTUS will figure out how to repeal that in short order.
#48
Robert Beveridge 1 year ago
I mean, it depends--is this Cartier or Dollar General?
Load More Replies... Teutonic Disaster 1 year ago
Caught shoplifter: *giggles and points at the sign* Surely you mean "prosecuted" ? Store manager: Nope. Now shut up you fool, put this on *hands the SL a lingerie set* and position yourself at the entrance!
#49
BoredPossum 1 year ago
Man, do we have to let the pervs pervert everything? "Daddy" is primarily a simple word for a caring parent, not a role-playing term for a balding man with a young wife.
TotallyNOTAFox 1 year ago
Yeah, we should replace sugar daddy with glucose guardian
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Sue Denham 1 year ago
This is going to pop into my head every time I see that kind of spider now.
Anga 1 year ago
As a French I had to google it. It's "Daddy Long Legs". We call that a "Faucheuse", which means a reaper.
Hans Georg 1 year ago
We call them Weberknecht. "Weaver servant" would be the direct translation.
Load More Replies... Pill Nathan Whitely 1 year ago
So there's this marine worm that bears a certain resemblance to the male organ; what did science choose to name it? The Bobbitt Worm.
#50
Jaya 1 year ago
The amount of birds that are called tits or boobies, makes me think ornitologists told their wives they bought the binoculars to watch birds but were actually using them to stare at naked women through the window, and they just named all the birds tits and boobies so that they could use that as an escape if their wives accidentally overheard them brag to their friends about how many tits they've stared at through their new binoculars.
ShiverMeTimbers 1 year ago
Sir David Attenborough admiring some Great T!ts in his 'Wonder of Song' doco
amanda yoder 1 year ago
This also can apply to trees. When my nephew wants to insult someone he calls them a little p*ssy willow tree
#51
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago
A good reason for not taxing the rich 'cause next time...
Load More Replies... Rosemary 1 year ago
Advice from my aunt when I was a teenager: "Honey, don't marry for money. Associate with the rich and marry for love."
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
My greatest regret in life is not being born to old money on the east coast 😔
#52
Corvus 1 year ago
Someone seriously expected to find vegan food at a place that literally has "BBQ" in its name?!?
MoriahPapaya 1 year ago
I'm in a Midwest state and a BBQ spot near me has smoked pulled jackfruit and vegan coleslaw, so more places are becoming inclusive *however* it takes some nerve to give a place a 1 star review for not catering to a tiny margin.
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Dirk Daring 1 year ago
Yeah I went to Tacos Tacos Tacos and they didn't have any Lobster Fettuccini Alfredo on the menu! UGH!
Wysteria_Rose 1 year ago
It's like that time that I went to Staples and was stunned to hear they don't sell live plants and waterslides.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 1 year ago
I went to my local Mexican restaurant and they didn't have any chow mein!
#53
Robert Benson 1 year ago
The correct response to maintain the joke is to say: "Correct, they don't have the koalafications". But it requires actually being able to think on your feet. The true test of the dad joke is the ability to adapt it as needed.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
I always assume they are making a joke and give the traditional response "I don't know, why aren't they considered bears". And then Mr Auntriarch says I'm not telling a joke...
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Learn to like her, guy. You'll be working for her someday. Six or seven levels down, but working for her.
RedMarbles 1 year ago
Please, in the name of all that is sacred, honorable, or otherwise good, stop insulting and stereotyping us, Adrian. Or at least try to cut back if it's a compulsion.
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#54
Tabitha 1 year ago
If you’ve been vetted as a REALLY good friend, you can show up in your pajamas at 3am with a packed bag, and I won’t judge. I’ll just tell you that, once you’re ready to tell me, I will be right here to listen. Want some tea?
Maartje 1 year ago
I like you. You have the right idea. Just had to say that.
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MotherofGuineaPigs 1 year ago
Come on over, pick your beverage - I have wine and margarita glasses.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
Well, if you can stomach a slightly rotund ding-dong in boxers and undershirt (yes, I sleep in those) then I'll bring the potato chips/fries XP
#55
Witch with a B 1 year ago
I have never gotten energy from working out. Taking a nap, on the other hand.....
Mia Black 1 year ago
😭 nothing gives me energy. Especially not working out. But I'm glad that some people still can nap or drink coffee to be more active 👍
Load More Replies... #56
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
My pets all get birthday parties! Want to come to the next one? Puppy is turning 1 year old on the 5th of July XD Otherwise you gotta wait til January and/or May for the other pets XD
Load More Replies... Kathleen Pearlman 1 year ago
Mine's had a bat mitzvah, a Quinceanera, and a sweet 16. Now she's eligible for Social Security.
#57
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I went all the way to the Sydney Fish Market to try the legendary sushi donut! It was very tasty.
#58
Howl's sleeping castle 1 year ago
Heel needs to understand that I can't walk around unless the cream has dried. I may not have any place or plans to go but I don't want to be tied down
HTakeover 1 year ago
On the other hand... "sorry, I can't go out with you & your kids / come in to work because my heel cream hasn't dried yet."
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Trillian 1 year ago
I always keep my foot cream in my bedside drawer (so I can realize how badly I needed to pee right after I used it)
Auntriarch 1 year ago
Oh dear yes... Right after I thought I was being clever to apply the cream on getting into bed
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#59
Howl's sleeping castle 1 year ago
My friend once laughed at me for using an umbrella. I told him just because he can do push ups sun won't be soft on him
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I literally dress like this drawing I made when I go to the beach. I live in a beach town. My friend, who was visiting from Arizona, thought I was joking. I was not joking. I am pale af. I will die after 10 minutes of direct sun exposure XD a_day_at_t...7ce75f.jpg 
#60
#61
Salty_Sasquatch 1 year ago
This is me watching the Great British Baking Show!
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
When this happened I always waited a few days before telling him a solution.
Maartje 1 year ago
My husband snapped at me when I told him his students were letting AI write their papers and when I advised him what to do about it. So I let him muddle for a couple of weeks before I showed him the two kickass AI checkers I already knew about. I also told him that I purposely let him muddle.
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Paul Brown 1 year ago
I was at a job site with the boss one time and he was trying to figure out a way to put a steel beam in a real difficult place. I suggested a way, which was immediately shot down. Two hours and several phone calls later, he finally did it the way I told him. Boss never acknowledged that I was right.
#63
BROmanicus85 1 year ago
So they're making "Karen starter kits" for children, now, too?! :))
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#64
#65
Tom Brincefield 1 year ago
Refinanced in March 2020, 10 years at 2.9% fixed. Savings & Loans make it much easier, wish I had gone with them for the original loan.
Erin Geiger 1 year ago
Yeah and now we want to move out of the s**t hole state we had to move to for work and we're stuck for a while. Make transferring loans to a new house a thing.
#66
BrunoVI 1 year ago
I did that with jumpy legs, so I took some Ropinerol. I woke up next month. Oops. Ropinerol doesn't make you drowsy, but it does slow the rate at which you metabolize other d***s. So 12 hours later, your brain is still like, "Hey! you just took some Benadryl again, didn't you?"
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
It depends on the dose and the person, but you have to be REALLY careful and should NOT use it long-term, as it is an actual brain hormone that your body produces. My mom and sister didn't listen to me warning them to stop taking it after a week, and they just kept increasing their doses "because it stopped working". They both got up to 20mg and then when they finally stopped taking it, their own melatonin production was pretty effed up for weeks.
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#67
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
If you’re going to put in the effort necessary to fully learn a job from scratch, they might as well make it worth your time, ffs. Especially these days, when the prevailing attitude is for people to figure out the job for themselves, no matter that their degree isn’t related to the job, so no one trains new entry level hires anymore. It’s like teaching you how to swim by throwing you in a river—-inside a duct taped box. Yeah, once you can manage to get out of the box, you’ll be fine, but it’s the getting out that’s a b***h.
#68
Jcusack 1 year ago
TBH My single male friends do this too, since you don't know if it's a robbery set up or something like that
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P R 1 year ago
The key is to Let The Date Know (directly or indirectly) that you have noted their license plate, taken & sent their picture, told a friend of your date, etc. This will act as a deterent to an evil-minded person
#69
Jack Burton 1 year ago
I'm not the best driver but i drive at the perfect speed. Other drivers keep being too slow or too damn fast.
Boudewijn van der Mik 1 year ago (edited)
Survey: 92% of the drivers say that they're better then average.
Christof Irran 1 year ago
Some people here tell me that I am a bad driver, and they don't like it when I respond to that by saying: "Well, let's remember that I am the one who has never had an accident."
Sarah Mills 1 year ago
No, that's me. Put myself in a ditch last year. Friend came and towed me out with another friend's truck and chain. No damage, whatsoever. My husband says I'm a good driver because I don't normally need a tow truck. Vehicles usually die at the garage. Not a clue and cheerfully lucky
#70
Spidercat 1 year ago
Technically he exposed the fact he is American. As a citizen of the country that created English... This is among the least severe of their offences against the language.
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#72
Son of Spam 1 year ago
I had surgery on my knee a few years back, woke up still groggy in the recovery room, and immediately had to start working off my phone. True story.
AP 1 year ago (edited)
This was always something my old work did to compete with each other and prove to the company they were the more valuable employee. people would come in to work with a horrible flu or something because of it and they would be working on vacation, like it was a weird flex to not rest and be somewhat of a slave to the company.
#73
#74
Sue User 1 year ago
Said by someone who has not passed middle age. Now I am amazed that a body can do that because i sure cant.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
I (42) was walking the dogs last night and had the sudden urge to cartwheel. After checking no one was looking I did a cartwheel. I can still do it, but I never used to see stars afterwards!
Load More Replies... cerinamroth 1 year ago
I love watching my daughter gallivanting and cavorting around. I remember the dizzying freedom I felt when I pretended to be a horse as a child, galloping around the playground with the wind whipping my hair.
Jack Burton 1 year ago
yeah but imagine if we still do that as adults. Oh. We still do that but only when drunk as freak.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
"Watch this" is the leading cause of death for males between 16 and 28.
justanotherweirdo 1 year ago
Honestly less of a waste of time than a lot of the other things I do
#75
#76
Montanavanna 1 year ago
I used to say if I have 1, I will probably have 2. But if I have three, it's gonna become 8.
Dick Fint 1 year ago
Alcohol mathematics. Almost as difficult as algebra. Especially when you see six empty cans after those first two beers and try to make the numbers work.
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#77
Milady Blue 1 year ago
The last one to know, the last one to show, the last one you thought you'd see there...
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#79
Kristal 1 year ago
I've always wrote them as a backwards 3 with a line going through the middle vertically. Same meaning.
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I watched a video on how it was supposed to be pronounced. I think I lost braincells. That poor kid. Guarantee they'll change their name the second they turn 18 XD
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StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago
That's so sad, maan. Maybe you should vote for Union leaders instead of capitalistic twatbasket Presidents. We, over the Pond, need to do the same thing nowadays.
#81
agermanhome 1 year ago
Urgh. I´m absolutely sure my children would not consider eating that mess.
MotherofGuineaPigs 1 year ago
Give them a piece of cake and a glass of milk for breakfast and they'll think it's awesome.
Awesome At Being Autistic 1 year ago
🎶 "Dad is great, feeds us chocolate cake!" 🎶
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Jennifer Brown 1 year ago
it's a cute idea if you have little kids....but who's gonna clean up that mess
#82
BatPhace 1 year ago
If felons cannot vote in many states, why can one be on the ballot?
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CrunChewy McSandybutt 1 year ago
There should be a mandatory retirement age for all branches of the government.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
What a choice the Americans have: a incoherent geriatric on the one hand, a loud-mouthed, narcissistic, geriatric felon on the other.
PhaseWitFact 1 year ago
They're both super old. Maybe they'll have heart attacks or maybe we'll get a third party candidate that will actually get elected.
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clairebear 1 year ago
You gotta pick between senile octogenarian and criminal sex pest, America. Good luck.
Tom Brincefield 1 year ago
The criminal sex pest is only 3 years younger and was a lot dumber to start with. No contest.
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#83
#84
Montanavanna 1 year ago
I used this comeback the other day, with my kids. Stop asking where things are all the time.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
My sister and I used to say this to each other all the time when we were kids. I think, inspired by you, I shall use it on my boyfriend the next time he asks me where something is XD
Load More Replies... kelsischloe1986 1 year ago
Legendary!!! And whenever you see a boy you say, circle circle dot dot now I got my coodies shot! Anyone remember that 1?
Alyssa Phillips 1 year ago
Cooties! Southern USA used the t. Interesting 😎
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Kel_how 1 year ago
Hell, I can have 3 or 4 conversations going in 1 text thread with the same friend
Phantom Phoenix 1 year ago (edited)
3 or 4 conversations threaded together across multiple platforms simultaneously... texting shite like "Check your WhatsApp" "I've answered that via email"
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Eileene Reyes 1 year ago
no, it's because she have a funny way of running. Bob's burgers is amazing.
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TotallyNOTAFox 1 year ago
Doesn't sound right, it was Jesus who got laid on his back and nailed (according to the bible)
Victoria Silvas 1 year ago
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#88
StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago
100%. 😎 From a retired (female) Mech/Elec Engineer. 😉
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Dirk Daring 1 year ago
I used to do IT work for construction companies. It has been explained to me that the reason you see so few women as plumbers and electricians is that plumbers and electricians have to go into a stranger's house. The women in that field are more likely to be working on a job site building houses and such.
TotallyNOTAFox 1 year ago
Sorry, quotas for female employees are only set for nice office jobs or in politics - at least here in Germany
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What do you think ?
Montanavanna 1 year ago
I just remembered we would then add.. through the tubes and out the boobs.
Austin Sauce 1 year ago
As a Mexican, I could care less. That’s the type of stuff Americans get offended by in behalf of other people, but we don’t really appreciate it. Life is too short to be offended by every little thing.
Load More Replies... Montanavanna 1 year ago
I just remembered we would then add.. through the tubes and out the boobs.
Austin Sauce 1 year ago
As a Mexican, I could care less. That’s the type of stuff Americans get offended by in behalf of other people, but we don’t really appreciate it. Life is too short to be offended by every little thing.
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