Some people may think of psychology as less of a science than physics or biology, because they might consider it subjective and don’t believe in personality types. But as any other science, psychology has a question, then a hypothesis and ways to confirm or deny it through experiments. It also can apply the results for problem solving.
You can even test out some of the things yourself. While there are a lot of myths about what works and doesn’t work, people on Reddit have already done the work themselves and witnessed the desirable results without anyone even knowing they were deliberately manipulating someone.
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If someone is bothering you at your desk too often, continue the conversation but get up and walk them back to their desk.
Had a boss who was a guru at this. You'd be back at your desk wondering how the f**k you got there.
People start to believe something if they're told it over and over and over. Even if it goes against everything they know.
That's why the news is so important to pretty much every government on earth. They get to decide what we hear over and over.
My boss likes having meetings after 5pm and even though I technically can be there for it, I don’t want to. So I tell him I have an important class I’m going to at exactly 5:45. I show up for about 5-10 minutes of the meeting then leave. He thinks I’m an amazing team player for going out of my way to hop on for just a few minutes. When in reality, I have no class to attend and I hate those meetings.
Not really a dark trick but one that I've found effective, when someone's being rude to you stay completely silent and stare at them. It'll make them feel incredibly uncomfortable and they'll usually act civilly after a few moments.
EDIT: **DISCLAIMER**Do not do this to people who are exhibiting aggressive behaviour, and / or whilst in an unsafe non public environment. This will not work on the local thug in the street, and will likely cause you harm. This is a tactic meant to be used on otherwise mature adults in safe environments.
I've done this to my parents unintentionally, and have thus earned the affectionate name "fisheyes"
Silence. If you want to know something, ask the question then wait. People want to fill the silence and will talk and talk.
I used to work with a Glaswegian who liked the sound of his own voice and hearing his own opinions so much, he would ask a question and then keep talking. He talked for so long we often forgot what the question was.
If someone doesn't want to give you specific information, like tuition costs, or hours expected, give them an example that's completely unreasonable. They will usually immediately give you an exact number and feel embarrassed for pretending not to know.
Example:
Me: How much does your C++ course cost?
Them: It really depends on what your goals are.
Me: Don't you have a beginner's course? Can you give me a price range?
Them: We can work with you to fit your individual needs.
Me: Okay, fine. So is it, like, $10 for access to all your courses, or...
Them: Oh, no. We have a subscription for $99 a month, it you can buy the beginner's course for $120.
Not useful very often, but it works every time.
If someone is incorrect (like you know 100% they are) but the correction would have little or no bearing on the conversation, argument, etc., just keep it to yourself. It's not worth embarrassing or belittling them and halting the conversation. (I'M LOOKING AT YOU MOTHER-IN-LAW)
It's not really dark but every mistake I make at work I go out of my way to admitting to. For some reason that makes me more trustworthy.
Admit mistakes, that being human. But, don't let anyone make you a scape goat . This has / will happen.
Talk good behind people back, It’ll get to them trust me, It’ll get to everybody
This is true, i avoid talking s**t behind anyones back ( not because i like them lol, but because i NEVER burn any bridges unless i have no other option ) and people do trust me.
Whenever I want to help someone with something but I know their pride gets in the way or they don't want to impose, I ask them for a favor first even if I don't really need it.
Examples would be like asking a peer how they arrived at a solution for xyz, and then "repaying" the favor by going, "You wanna see something cool I learned recently?" and showing them how to do something more efficiently/correctly. Or when you know your parents' heater is broken but they insist on calling a repairman instead of troubling you, and suddenly you need to borrow sugar but while you're over there, might as well check out that heater.
People like to feel helpful and I like to give unsolicited advice, it works out
Certified hypnotist here; you wanted dark, here you go:
Leading a topic by stating something you know the subject will agree with.
Transition into a re-statement of whatever it is they agreed with and alter it slightly; end with a rhetorical question leaning towards agreement. (Isn't that right?)
If you're slow and careful about this, you can get people to concede or agree to nearly anything without even noticing.
Number two, this one is incredibly f*****g simple: consistently thanking somebody for very very basic things; things you might not even thank someone for. Think moving out of the way for you, or handing you your water bottle from a few feet away.
Once you make the interaction consistent enough, they will be used enough to the praise that it will be missed. Then, *don't* thank them for one or two things, and they will very frequently go out of their way in order to earn your thanks.
One thing that my dad does, that he may be completely unaware of, is when you give him good news he always exaggerates it back to you, thus forcing you to downplay your own accomplishment. I honestly don’t think he’s consciously doing it, but it drives me absolutely crazy.
“Hey I have amazing news! I got promoted to vice president.”
“That’s great! Wow, so senior vice president?”
“No, just a vice president.”
“Oh, well that’s still good.”
And now the wind is all out of my sails.
When walking in a crowded area look where you’re going and not at the other people. They will naturally move out of your line of sight making it quicker to move around.
Great if you have anxiety in crowded places just walk and people will move
The power of suggestion is incredibly potent. Most people underestimate how this tool can affect others.
For example, I had a sociology class in high school (it was that or health) and we had to build, conduct an (psychology/sociology) experiment and write a report on our findings. We were in groups of four. We had free reign to do what we wanted but it could not be immoral or unethical but being the group of antisocial rebellious teens we decided to do an experiment on suggestion. It was relatively simple we picked three "subjects" and chose a positive and negative suggestion and the third was our control. Now we picked three people one popular, one not so popular and someone in the middle (control) these subjects were picked so each one of the group members would have an interaction every class period for one whole day. For the popular girl (Subject A) we decided to simply ask her if she was feeling alright because she looked pale.
Unpopular male (Subject B) was asked why they didn't speak up more in class and they should do it. We chose suggestions that would be counter to their personalities
Control (Subject C) was simply asked how their day was going.
By the end of the day (experiment) Subject A had gone home sick after three class periods Subject B had an overall increase in participation that lasted several days after the conclusion of the experiment and Subject C showed baseline behavior.
Now we did get into trouble because what we did was unethical but the teacher was so impressed with our report that he let us slide and made us apologize to the participants.
Positive suggestion = good thing... use your powers for good, people! :D
People will be more favourable to your idea if they think it's THEIR idea.
How to use this irl: trying to find a route on a road trip: well we can’t go the south eoute, the trafffic is always bad, and we can’t go the north route Becuase it’s probably blocked. What do you think we could do? (They will pick the only option left,) let’s go the west route, directly through!
This angers me so much. It might've been a bit funny in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but in real life it's such a devaluing feeling and f***s up your self-esteem and confidence.
Where was this in My big fat greek wedding? I can‘t remember
Load More Replies...Unfortunately, then they take credit for it. Every woman I've ever known in business has to deal with this kind of bullsh*t from male colleagues. "Great idea, Mark! Isn't that EXACTLY what I just said?"
My mum used this to get my dad to go on holiday. Every year she would leave old holiday brochures in a pile of magazines or leave a holiday photo album out for my dad to notice. A couple of weeks of this & he would have the idea to go on holiday. Even if a couple of months before he would say no holidays this year.
Love that film Joker 182, the more I try to make sense of it.............well lets just leave it at that!!
Load More Replies...You can practically put an idea into someone's mouth by first laying up a connection to them in a way that gives them some of the kudos even if it's your idea. Works especially well with the insecure authority figure types. Make the connection plausible, but vague enough that their brain fills the details in our just accepts the little ego boost. "Hey, I just remembered a thing you pointed out in orientation, about a quirk in sensor priority. Why don't we try to disconnect this, restart, and reconnect it and then resolve the overheating alarm?"
I remember reading about a Secretary General who had that problem with a US President. POTUS shot him down, each and every time, then claimed the idea for his own. Rather than getting pi**ed and clamming up, he took the opportunity to get a lot of ideas pushed through. God is watching, friends, take the high road.
My mother taught me to always let men take the credit for your ideas because then they would get done. NO! Stand up for yourself. Guess what? If you let someone else take the credit for your ideas, guess who will be promoted, get bonuses, etc. Hint: Not you.
Or if I want my husband to like something I choose for the house, I get either beloved MIL or exalted SIL’s opinion, like when I painted the dark 70’s kitchen cabinets a light grey/blue.
leadership towards greater buy-in through ownership or at least co-creation
Yup - I had a boss that was a megalomanic. Any time we required something, (such as a change in procedure, supplies, schedule change, etc), I would phrase it in a way that made it her idea. I didn't care that she would get the credit for whatever; I would benefit by helping with the positive changes.
It happens to me all the time and forever. In a meeting, I give a possible solution. People appear to be listening but I guess they're not because subject gets changed or there is a distraction like a late arrival or message delivered. Then the discussion goes on for a few minutes and before l can bring the conversation around to my idea, I hear it delivered verbatim out of someone else's mouth and suddenly everyone is on it. Now you look petty and whiny if you speak up to take credit. Or embarrassed because no one remembered you ever spoke...I guess I am just not forceful enough. So I just got used to being the idea planter.
I’ve NEVER figured out how to do this!! There should be a class in high school.
Handy when you're at work, especially with narcissistic bosses, 'but you said that I could give that a go and see if it works'.
If you want to be an effective liar, build a reputation of being honest. The more you are known as being reliable, the easier it is to deceive and manipulate. Not terribly complex, I know.
That’s what I do with friends and relatives. My parents still don’t trust me even after I lied to them once
Staring at peoples forehead irritates them quite a lot.
I have no idea how many people have irritated by doing this. Looking at people when conversing is confusing, I have no idea where to stare at all so I stare at their forehead
It depends on what you hand them. Working retail, I've learned that if you hand someone something while they are talking, they will take it, put it in their pocket/purse/etc and then have no recollection of you ever giving them something. It has worked on every person I have tried it with
EDIT: lol no, I didn't make anyone shoplift. It was usually their receipts, pens or the credit card slips, etc. Then after them talking, they'll ask for it and I tell them they pocketed it. But I learned this is a real psychological trick and also to wait until they are done talking to hand them something.
i have a short af attention span so this wouldnt work on me id be like blah blah blah blah OOH WHAT IS THAT
Sunk cost. Basically any time or effort or money that has already been expended or spent tends to be factored into decision making even though it shouldn’t. When I met my wife, she would always finish her drinks even if she didn’t like them because she paid for them. I asked her, if you already paid for them then the money is already gone. Why suffer through a drink you don’t like if there is literally no change in outcome as opposed to not drinking it… except not enjoying it.
That is why buying a car takes so long. You have spent so much time already that you almost feel like you have to buy it. You have INVESTED time and need to get something for that investment. And oh my gosh I do not want to go through this again!
Don’t react when somebody is getting unnecessarily angry. Drives them crazy
This is true, just ignore their anger, and answer them very calmy and with a smile, if you really really want to see them pop a vein lol, just be a tad condescending.
Change the perspective from I to we and people will automatically align themselves with you
If you want someone to like you, ask them to do small favors for you and be very appreciative when they comply. Positive reinforcements for tasks, just like training a dog
No, not always. Most likely you'll be deemed a mooch. There's a lady at work I called a mooch. She asks little favors from people, asks for gum, rides after work, etc. Then is all "Awww why thank you." with a big grin. No one asks her for anything because there is no need. I see some co-workers outright refuse but feel the need to give an excuse. I call her "The Mooch". Don't be her. You're not winning anyone's heart.
Not dark psychology, but if you experience trauma, retelling the story over and over in present tense past tense being “he pulled the gun out” vs present tense “he is pulling out a gun” will move the memory from your amygdala and engaged your pre-frontal cortex, making the memory more of a historical retelling rather than an emotional one. I probably got the brain parts wrong, but my therapist taught me this one.
Giving the wrong answer online to get the correct one. Also the Kubrick stare, with the head forward just a little, really makes people leave you the hell alone.
Having a heated argument… Ask the other person if they are okay because they’re breathing really hard. They will stop arguing and try to pay attention to their breathing. Resulting in the end of that discussion.
Imagine how that would go..."HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?!?! WE HAD KIDS TOGETHER!!! WE..." "yOu'Re bReAtHiNg hArD" ".................."
Waiting several seconds or up to minute to say something after someone has given you an offer or asked you for something will make what you say next high likely to be agreed with. Most people hate uncomfortable silence especially sales people.
Next time you get in an elevator face towards the rear the whole ride. It freaks the other people out and makes me laugh. It's the same principle behind stopping on the sidewalk and staring up. Sooner or later somebody else is going to stop and look to see what you're gawking at.
If you look at his finger pushing the button, in your peripheral vision it looks like he has no arm.
Nodding your head up & down slightly when you want someone to agree with what you are saying
It's called tge 'Sullivan Nod' and is exceptionally effective for wait/bar staff. Eye contact is important here, but nodding slightly as you suggest (gently, you are not a bobblehead) and more oftsn than not you get the guest to get that app, top shelf a drink, or splurge on the dessert. This also works in other sales areas.
Mirroring is incredible... if you can pull it off from a simple swinging of a chair or a gentle smile... you can actually control their presence.
People want to be acknowledged, accepted, and appreciated. It takes almost nothing to give them that, but empires have risen and fell because of it. People will be so happy that you've given it, even if they know they're being manipulated, they'll ignore the manipulation for the sake of what you're giving them.
Or let's try something revolutionary and just acknowledge, accept and appreciate people with no hidden agenda whatsoever. How about that?
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This list should be called "How to manipulate people"....... I don't think this is how we should treat one another?
This was a really sh!tty list. Most of it is bad stuff that horrible people do and a lot of it is worded like "this is sooooo cool you can make them do it". Ew.
Has the flavor of high school bullies trying to haze freshmen. Or the Kardashians giving relationship advice. No wonder GenZ and Millenials are struggling if this is from their mentors.
Load More Replies...This supposed to be a glimpse into the modern workplace? It's an unholy study in narcissism, cowardice, dishonesty, and weak willed bullying.
I agree that kindness is the better option, but it often does not work, even if you're just trying to stand up for yourself and don't want to be mean. Plus, the title dark psyc tricks is fair warning to the readers of it.
To everybody saying these were messed up, yeah that's why the title was "DARK psychology tricks." No one posted this list advocating this stuff.
If you want to get rid of someone overly dramatic, just find very simple solutions to all the problems they bring up. They don't actually want their problems solved, they enjoy the drama, so they will leave you alone because they don't get their fix from you.
Politicians and scammers (same thing, in my opinion) must LOVE this list
Should we be using this to manipulate others? Uh.. Heeelll no. Have i seen **every. single. one.** of these used on myself or other people? Unfortunately all the time. The one common factor? They **ALLL** get unreasonable and disproportionately angry and tantrum-y when called out - it's apparently excruciatingly difficult to just be honest. ...............and that's when I realize "oh... no, what... they're just actually kinda not very good people? They're, in truth too shallow and self-serving to actually contemplate adjusting" It's upsetting.
This fits here I think. If you want to diffuse a person who is angry talk in a calm voice. Within a few sentences they will match yours. Never try to persuade someone by telling them how you, your group, or your company will benefit if they comply. Show them how they, their group, or their company will benefit from it. Always compliment people who help you even if you never see them again. It will make their day and it was only a minute for you. One sentence. Cost you nothing. "Thanks for your help! Appreciate you!" "Or I always enjoy listening to what you have to say." Be sincere and only if you really mean it. When dealing with parents diffuse the us against them by letting them know you are on their side. "We both want John to succeed. This is how we can work together to make that happen."
Something tells me that individuals with personality disorders have had a big influence in this 'advice'. I see narcissists and maybe even sociopaths and psychopaths being behind these words, made me feel uneasy but more aware of what to look out for in others than how I can improve or better myself.
You may need to abandon morals as you read this list. Think of it like an ancient court setting with Kings and Queens and advisors and such, they played these mind games like art
Let's look at this as a cautionary tale. Keep an eye out for these manipulative techniques and don't be fooled
Personally, I think a lot of these(but definitely not all) are more defense-aligned than one would think at first glance. Some of these can de-escalate potentially dangerous/already unsavory environmental situations when the red flags are there but the other side hasn't gotten hostile yet- which is what I think this post was intended for. But, yea- some of this is just eye-opening towards methods of manipulation that abusers of every kind use to their advantage.
Or maybe I just read the title in the wrong tone
Load More Replies...Thanks Jurgita, it is useful. If one is too angelic being to use them, it will be helpful to be able to detect them used on you.
This list should be called "How to manipulate people"....... I don't think this is how we should treat one another?
This was a really sh!tty list. Most of it is bad stuff that horrible people do and a lot of it is worded like "this is sooooo cool you can make them do it". Ew.
Has the flavor of high school bullies trying to haze freshmen. Or the Kardashians giving relationship advice. No wonder GenZ and Millenials are struggling if this is from their mentors.
Load More Replies...This supposed to be a glimpse into the modern workplace? It's an unholy study in narcissism, cowardice, dishonesty, and weak willed bullying.
I agree that kindness is the better option, but it often does not work, even if you're just trying to stand up for yourself and don't want to be mean. Plus, the title dark psyc tricks is fair warning to the readers of it.
To everybody saying these were messed up, yeah that's why the title was "DARK psychology tricks." No one posted this list advocating this stuff.
If you want to get rid of someone overly dramatic, just find very simple solutions to all the problems they bring up. They don't actually want their problems solved, they enjoy the drama, so they will leave you alone because they don't get their fix from you.
Politicians and scammers (same thing, in my opinion) must LOVE this list
Should we be using this to manipulate others? Uh.. Heeelll no. Have i seen **every. single. one.** of these used on myself or other people? Unfortunately all the time. The one common factor? They **ALLL** get unreasonable and disproportionately angry and tantrum-y when called out - it's apparently excruciatingly difficult to just be honest. ...............and that's when I realize "oh... no, what... they're just actually kinda not very good people? They're, in truth too shallow and self-serving to actually contemplate adjusting" It's upsetting.
This fits here I think. If you want to diffuse a person who is angry talk in a calm voice. Within a few sentences they will match yours. Never try to persuade someone by telling them how you, your group, or your company will benefit if they comply. Show them how they, their group, or their company will benefit from it. Always compliment people who help you even if you never see them again. It will make their day and it was only a minute for you. One sentence. Cost you nothing. "Thanks for your help! Appreciate you!" "Or I always enjoy listening to what you have to say." Be sincere and only if you really mean it. When dealing with parents diffuse the us against them by letting them know you are on their side. "We both want John to succeed. This is how we can work together to make that happen."
Something tells me that individuals with personality disorders have had a big influence in this 'advice'. I see narcissists and maybe even sociopaths and psychopaths being behind these words, made me feel uneasy but more aware of what to look out for in others than how I can improve or better myself.
You may need to abandon morals as you read this list. Think of it like an ancient court setting with Kings and Queens and advisors and such, they played these mind games like art
Let's look at this as a cautionary tale. Keep an eye out for these manipulative techniques and don't be fooled
Personally, I think a lot of these(but definitely not all) are more defense-aligned than one would think at first glance. Some of these can de-escalate potentially dangerous/already unsavory environmental situations when the red flags are there but the other side hasn't gotten hostile yet- which is what I think this post was intended for. But, yea- some of this is just eye-opening towards methods of manipulation that abusers of every kind use to their advantage.
Or maybe I just read the title in the wrong tone
Load More Replies...Thanks Jurgita, it is useful. If one is too angelic being to use them, it will be helpful to be able to detect them used on you.