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The United States Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade has lit a powderkeg in the nation. Proponents of both sides continue to clash on social media and in real-life debates, and some Americans worry that women’s rights have been set back a hundred years. After the court’s decision, each state can decide whether or not to allow abortions.

There had been rumblings earlier this year that this might happen, igniting the debate about body autonomy and the freedom of choice. It seems like nearly everyone has an opinion one way or the other, and it feels like someone changing their firmly held beliefs is a rarity. However, a couple of months ago, redditor u/Honeydew-Popular went on the r/AskReddit community and asked former pro-lifers about what finally changed their mind on the question of abortion.

Scroll down to read their stories, and share your perspectives on the debate in the comments, Pandas. What do you think the future of the US will look like? What do you think could be done to protect women’s rights more in the future? Let us know what you think.

#1

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) I decided to move away from my small religious community. I meet people who had different backgrounds. Listened to stories of people who had abortions. Realized that if I was in their position, then I would have considered abortion too. Then I learned that abortion was rife within my small community, just not talked about and deeply shameful. The same people who picketed at those rallies also coerced their underage teenagers into having abortions when they turned up pregnant. It was not about "the unborn" it was about their image in the community and their control over others' bodies. It's about power and inflicting their world view on everybody.

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#2

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) Raised in a Christian home. Defaulted to my parents' view because I didn't know any better. When I left the church I started reexamining some of my positions and realized that abortions might not even be killing anything that I could call a person.

So I did some research on fetal development and the metaphysical definition of personhood. I came to the conclusion that, until six months of pregnancy, it is physically impossible for a fetus to have personhood, and that personhood most likely occurs some time after birth. Then I checked abortion statistics and found that less than 1% of abortions are performed in the third trimester, and the majority of those are to save the woman's life.

I can find no satisfying moral justification to force a woman to give birth against her will.

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#3

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) I grew up in a religious household where sexual relationships before marriage were considered a sin and abortions were considered murde. A friend of mine dated an abusive a*****e and she got pregnant , we were all in college at the time and she didn't have enough money nor support to raise the kid . Her parents were extremely angry and refused to speak with her because she ‘ruined' her life . We became roomates because I saw she needed a place to stay . Until then I'd always thought of women who got abortion as cruel. But i saw how helpless she was and how torn she was about the whole thing. After a few weeks of hospital visits she realised that she didn't have any other choice because of her financial instability and she also felt like she wasn't mature or ready enough to give birth to and raise another human being while she was still getting over the trauma of a relationship and she was afraid of messing up an innocent kid's life so she got an abortion. After seeing all that happen I realised that abortion wasn't just people f*****g around and then murdering an innocent child , it was when people were in situations where they knew they weren't ready for a child

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Redditor u/Honeydew-Popular’s thread got nearly 1.5k upvotes, as ex-pro-lifers really opened up about what got them to change their beliefs about abortion. They were extremely candid about how a heavy dose of reality made them reconsider what they thought was true.

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Very recently, Bored Panda covered the overturning of Roe v. Wade. A lot of celebrities and public figures, not just from the US, came out in support of women’s rights and shared that they were appalled by the direction in which America had turned.

Celebrity expert Mike Sington, from Los Angeles, explained to Bored Panda why it’s vital for well-known figures to denounce the US Supreme Court’s decision.

"Celebrities and public figures speaking out against Roe v. Wade being overturned has been very important, especially for young people. Freedom of choice has been a right granted to Americans for 50 years, so younger people don’t know what a world is like without that freedom," he said.

#4

I never really had strong feelings about it, but it didn’t seem like a great idea in general. But what ultimately changed my mind for good was my fiancé at the time (later wife and now ex wife lol) having one. We wanted a child, and were actively trying. We were excited about her being pregnant, but soon found through the ultrasound that the fetus had some horrible deformities. Some testing revealed more issues. If you have never been put in a place where you’ve had to choose between terminating a pregnancy you very much wanted and going ahead and giving birth to a child that would have never had a chance for anything but a short, painful life (assuming he even made it that far) give thanks. And if you think either you have the right to make that choice for someone else, get f****d. And if god’s plan was for that child to suffer for some reason, he can get f****d too.

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Tuna Fish
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. As sad as it is for a child to be born with upper spina bifida (no brain development), imagine how sad it was for a scared, alone, 20 yr old woman to have her mother tell her she was going to HELL because she didn't allow that child to suffer. I couldn't win, and lost my mom over it. We still speak, but only politely.

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#5

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) It will only lead to unsafe abortions in a back alley. Plus, people who call themselves pro-life are generally only pro-birth.

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#6

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) When I was pregnant and was told it wasn't compatible with life and didn't have a heart beat and to just go home and wait for the miscarriage. Despite asking for the abortion pill they said no we don't do that here. Turns out no one does. So i had to wait a week and a half still having pregnancy symptoms for it to end itself. It's really hard to call into work because you could miscarry at work. Because nobody gives a s**t. And I just remember thinking...why isn't this my choice?

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Dodo
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's so sad. I am sorry you had to go through this :,(

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"I think it’s the sensitive issues like this that celebrities have the most impact on because it tells the public they are not alone in the feeling of despair they are having by a fundamental right being taken away," celebrity expert Mike told Bored Panda that stars and public figures can have a large impact on the debate.

"The impact celebrities have will not be on the Supreme Court itself, and I don’t expect it to change the opinions of politicians either. What celebrities can do is drive people to the polls this November to actually change who the politicians are representing them," Hollywood’s Ultimate Insider explained that the real impact of the court overturning the decision will be felt in November 2022, during the elections.

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#7

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) I was raised with the religious pro-life outlook, and to believe all who had abortions were just devastated for the rest of their lives, that they didn’t comprehend the gravity of what they had done until it was too late. Then I went to college and met someone in a women’s studies class who shared she had had an abortion while married to a man nobody knew was abusive. I realized I had been misled about the realities of why people have abortions. When I suffered an assault a year later, I knew what choice I would make if it came down to it. And I was grateful to know I would have had a choice in that scenario. Working with homeless adults and at risk teens/social work really solidified that for me, when you see abused and neglected kids and you know the parent didn’t want any of those babies but has them because they were pressured out of an abortion… children should not be punishment or accountability lessons, they should be wanted and loved.

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Florida, but without the beach
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We see enough in the news about children suffering after being born into families that didn’t want them or weren’t ready for them and it’s awful, we don’t need more of that

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#8

My tipping point was when I realized that “pro-life” people in general opposed all the things that would minimize unwanted pregnancies and thus abortions. Real sex education and free, easily obtained birth control would prevent so many unwanted pregnancies and thus abortions, yet the “pro-life” crowd opposes those things.

Once I saw this hypocrisy, I gave the rest of their arguments more thought and realized I could not support that anymore.

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#9

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) The birth of my son almost killed us both. I am almost certain another would kill me. The thought of leaving my husband alone with two children, one grieving and one motherless, breaks my heart.
I’m one and done for the sake of my family. We take precautions, but I’m not sure if I became pregnant I would carry to term.
With my health and habits I’m not sure adoption would even be feasible if I could.
I don’t know what I would do, but I want the choice.

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Ellie McGrath
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s a death sentence for me. No doctor would tie those tubes though. Nature and early menopause took care of it for me but it should be granted when a woman knows what she wants

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"Other rights granted by the Supreme Court are now in jeopardy, so it will be important to have political representatives in place that can turn those rights into laws," he warned.

"I’m on Twitter a lot, and I’ve seen nothing but widespread condemnation of the Court’s opinion. Polling confirms what I’m seeing on Twitter. The vast majority of Americans support a woman’s right to choose,” he said.

#10

A horrific horrific childbirth that left me with unfixable fecal incontinence , and NOT ONE health provider informed me that this could possibly happen during my birth, despite receiving an intervention that is highly correlated with resulting in anal incontinence. NOT ONE provider took my issues seriously postpartum and just dismissed it, I had to fight to find my own specialists WHILE LEAKING POOP AND TRYING TO CARE FOR A NEWBORN. Not being able to even sit down for months afterward but still having to be my daughters primary caregiver at 6 weeks because my husband had only 6 weeks of leave. Gaining a ton of weight while pregnant and being extremely nauseous for SEVEN MONTHS, due to a severe hormonal imbalance that has yet to be corrected 16 months postpartum—you know, because I’m traumatized from the birth. I went from being a collegiate athlete to a 30 year old who now needs a colostomy bag. F**k americas health care system. I will speed drive any woman who wants to go to planned parenthood now.

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Minath
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was 28 when I got my bag, not from birth complications though, it's really tough to get your head around your new normal but it's so much better than being incontinent.

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#11

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) When I was 20 years old and pregnant with what would’ve been my third child .

I already had 6 month old twins at the time and I was ready to raise this baby along with the other two . But during my second trimester , the doctors said if I continue there was a 65 percent chance of me dying during birth .

As much as it pained me , I made the choice to say goodbye to my little girl .

After that , I changed my views and now fight for women’s right to abort a pregnancy no matter what .

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BluEyedSeoulite
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is something a lot of people don't seem to mention. I already have kids and they need me. As much as I may love my next baby, I cannot put them above my existing children. I do know of someone who died a few times giving birth to her daughter. She was told they might not be able to revive her the next time. She has been trying to get pregnant since, miscarried twin boys, and is still trying to have another baby. I can't wrap my head around her being willing to leave her daughter without a mom...

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#12

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) The stark realization that if I got pregnant, it would literally kill me.

I have high blood pressure and my medicine could SEVERELY hurt a fetus. If I got pregnant, I’d have to stop my meds, my BP would skyrocket, pregnancy would raise my BP more, and I’d have a stroke within the first trimester.

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Zedrapazia
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a kind of similar problem, my blood is extremely thick and I would die from blood cloths (thrombosis) if I got pregnant because of the hormone change - or the fetus would die because of blood cloths in the placenta and poison me with its corpse from inside. Luckily, I never liked babies anyway and am terrified by pregnancies because they remind me of the Alien movies so it's not a big loss to me. I also don't live in the USA so I'm not trapped luckily.

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According to the Guttmacher Institute, around 40 million women who can have children live in states where abortion rights are to be restricted. The Institute found that 860,000 abortions were performed in the United States back in 2019.

Meanwhile, the CDC states that the number was 630,000. Nearly 93% of abortions in America are performed during the first trimester. Most women who get abortions are unmarried. Many high-profile companies have come out in support of women’s rights and have pledged to fund their employee's costs of traveling out of state for abortions.

#13

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) When I realized women abort out of necessity, because they can’t financially and/or emotionally support a child. Prohibiting it won’t stop them, it will only make than do it more dangerously, and therefore putting more lives at risk. If* you’re pro-life, you should always be pro doing abortions safely, because that saves more lives than criminalizing it.

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Giovanna
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm strongly pro-choice, but I also strongly believe that no woman should be in the position of having to get an abortion because of financial reasons. There should be a welfare state worth this name everywhere. No woman should feel like she has to give up a baby she would want just because she doesn't have the means.

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#14

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) My first girlfriend explained that it wasn't about the deaths of babies, but the potential lives of both mothers and children. The overflowing adoption system positively crawling with "unwanted" kids. The way that providing abortion actually helped reduce the prison population and provide better lives to more people overall.

My mind swam. I talked to my mother about it. I realized that her rationale- and also my father's in turn- was faulty and built on a rickety foundation of religious punditry.

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#15

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) myself, this one is genuinly really trigger very sorry.

when i was younger i was assaulted by a family friend, i wasn't pregnant but when i had to get the test the lady told me. "if anything goes wrong, my sister works at planned parenthood." she was a very sweet woman, but at that time i was like "i would never abort a child" i remember genuinly shaking and crying before i had to take the test because it reminded me of what happened. i was negative, but the fear of having the raise the child that was forcibly put into me made me genuinly sick to my stomach.

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#16

When I realized that people are gonna do what they want regardless of the laws. Banning SAFE abortions isn’t gonna do a thing except hurt more people. You can throw the percentages of birth defects, rapes and etc and then sprinkle some religion in on it, but who cares. You’re gonna tell rape victim Chelsey that she has to birth her forced child? Or force a mother whose about to birth a brain dead quadriplegic where there no quality of life because there’s a heartbeat? Since when did people care about a heartbeat when villages were being bombed by the US, UK and other NATO nations in the name of freedom? Literal kids, healthy kids were dying. Don’t give me that b******t about how you care about a heartbeat from a group of cells that doesn’t even know it exists until 3 years after it gets shot out of a vagina.

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Disgruntled Pelican
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Literal kids are also being slaughtered in classrooms all around the US constantly, but somehow, the potential life of a fetus deserves more protection. I hate it here.

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#17

There are directions on how to administer dirt brewed tea to precipitate abortion in the bible itself. The people who are the most adamant about their good book and their beliefs have never actually read it. Today's interpretations of the scriptures are pure trash and anyone with half a brain can see it.

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rspanther
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They cherry pick the things they want to believe from the bible and kind of just ignore the rest. Most of them would have no problem answering the question what kind of gun would jesus buy, some sort of assault rifle at the moment. Never mind all of the peaceful messages that are actually in the bible.

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#18

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) I was raised Catholic, so I was bombarded with pro-life propaganda from a young age. It seemed really obvious to me too - why not save two lives instead of just one? Nine months of inconvenience for the pregnant woman but permanent death for the baby? It all seemed like simple math.

It was learning more about how serious and potentially dangerous pregnancy is that changed my mind. That and the science convinced me that the idea that human life begins at conception is untenable - there's a reason pro-life propaganda posters almost always show fully born babies to make you think this is the killing of a human. Whatever personal philosophical beliefs one has about when life begins, having the state force the issue in a way that requires women to undergo a dangerous and life altering physical process is indefensible.

I can tell you, based on my experience, that there are some pro-choice arguments that won't work on someone who believes now what I believed then. Slogans like "trust women" miss the point for these people - it's not about the women to them, it's about the baby they think exists and which they have been religiously-motivated to believe they're saving. Similarly saying "if you don't like abortion, don't have one" also misses the mark - as far as they're concerned that's like saying "if you don't like murder, don't kill people, just don't stop me from doing it!" These kinds of slogans treat pro-lifers as confused pro-choicers. They're not. They really do think they're saving babies. You have to show how medically unreasonable of a judgment that is and how horrific it is to force someone to undergo a pregnancy in the interest of something of such questionable humanity

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Brocken Blue
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“it's not about the women to them, it's about the baby they think exists” ^ This needs to be screamed from the rooftops. We won’t change people’s minds until we address this issue

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#19

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) Getting pregnant and having kids and realizing that 1) pregnancy is hella hard on a body; 2) the possibility of severe birth defects is terrifying; 3) a child should only be brought into this world if it is wanted and will be loved; and 4) no one should be forced to give birth against their will.

I feel that every abortion is a tragedy, but often not the worst choice.

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Falcon
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These are very good points. Pro-Life people fail to understand that if you force somebody to have a child, only thing it will produce is a huge amount of broken children.

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#20

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) I left the church and started interacting more with non-Christians. After that I realized that a lot of my beliefs were instilled in my by my religious upbringing. I’ve always asked a lot of questions so I just started talking with people and forming my own opinions. Abortion was one of the last things I switched positions on but here’s how I see it now:

It’s not a question of “is a fetus valued the same as another human being,” rather, it’s a question of “should pregnant people have the right to chose if they want to allow another living thing to use their body to grow.” I believe bodily autonomy is absolutely vital, so, as a man, my position is that women need to have the freedom to chose for themselves. We don’t force people do donate blood, kidneys, bone marrow, or any other part of their body to support other’s lives, even if the person in need is their own child. So why is it different for fetuses?

I hate how religion has latched onto this issue. They know “save the babies” is a good way to garner unquestioning support for the church and the political parties associated with it. I remember sitting through entire sermons where the pastor would just talk s**t about planned parenthood for the entire time. It’s sad, looking back on it.

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Ellie McGrath
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“ We don’t force people do donate blood, kidneys, bone marrow, or any other part of their body to support other’s lives” Actually in SOME countries we do and we giver those countries hell for it (looking at you China with your wholesale market) The USA is going the same way.

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#21

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) I volunteered at a Christian organization that assisted pregnant African refugee women. I gave them rides to their doctors appointments and stuff, provided them with a point of contact for general help. First lady from Sudan gave birth like a champ to a healthy baby and they went on their way. Second lady from Darfur was very new to the US and I was with her at her first ultrasound. Fetus was pretty far along, seven months I think, but it had not developed lungs or most of a brain. It was going to be stillborn - medical recommendation was obviously a relatively late term abortion.

Took this information back to the manager of the charity, who disagreed with the doctor, as "miracles do happen" so instead of an abortion, the woman was forced to carry the dead thing inside of her to term and give birth to it. It would have been a girl, but it was indeed stillborn and extremely deformed.

I feel like an a*****e for not remembering her name anymore. I do remember her quiet confusion but dutiful compliance with what she was told to do. She did ask two questions: "Why no doctor?" when we told her we weren't going to go with the medical advice of abortion. "Why no bury?" when we told her she could not take the deceased back home to bury in the backyard.

I was a part of that situation and it felt wrong to me the whole way through but my faith over rode it. Well it haunted me for years... Now I keep a stock of Plan B.

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Deborah B
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there is a god who preforms miracles, he makes them invisible. If god hasn't given the fetus lungs and a brain before the ultrasound, then it should be taken as a sign from god that he isn't going to.

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#22

I basically started off as someone who believed in abortion for moms whose lives were in danger and a small waiting period for anyone else. I wasn't extremely pro-life compared to others.

Over time, I learned how there are plenty situations where even my two requirements could be a barrier to the most vulnerable. How does a doctor pinpoint when a mom's life is in danger and needs that abortion? What about moms who find out they have cancer? Would they be forced to delay medical treatment to have the baby? What happens if a vulnerable mom is trying to have an abortion in secret but they are turned away because of a waiting period and the scheduling aspect becomes impossible?

Then I learned how laws that are designed to support pro-life ideals screws people over in the end. A pregnant woman goes the court because she got shot in the stomach and the prosecutor think she's responsible for her baby's death by being a victim of a shooting (Southern US). A woman gets tried multiple times because she had a miscarriage and is held in a jail between each trial (Latin America). A woman is declared brain dead but is kept on life support against her wishes, and her husband isn't able for lay her to rest for a month until the hospital realizes the baby is completely deformed and non-viable (Southern US).

People might not like abortions, but I now believe there are worse outcomes when you try to restrict them anyway in the name of pro-life ideals.

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Eff the haters
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. Who the f**k blames a mom that got shot in the stomach for killing her baby? How does that even make sense?

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#23

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) I got pregnant and my ex tried to force me to have one. Having someone try to take your choice out of the matter right in your face is a bit of an eye opener.

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Pizzagirl 91
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe it's my English comprehension (non-native speaker), but did her ex try to force her to have an abortion or a baby?

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#24

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) Guy here....i realized that abortions are terrible and people dont want them they need them and generally only if they end up in a situation that requires them.

I reasoned we should keep women safe and spend time on how WE can ALL avoid having to make to decision in the first place OR making the world better so that they could also choose to keep the baby in a really caring world.

It was too easy to say abortion is bad ban it.

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RaroaRaroa
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! Free and easily accessible contraception, along with thorough sex education is the real solution.

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#25

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) Education. Learning more than my right-wing parents had ever exposed me to. Getting out from under the rock and being willing to listen and change my opinion based upon newly gathered data.

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#26

I was raised sort of casually pro-life. I believed it should be safe and legal to prevent people being harmed in unsafe abortions and that it was justified if necessary to protect the "mother", but that to simply choose it because you didn't want a kid was morally wrong. I was never an activist on either side though. I just had my personal beliefs against it.

I have a LOT of reasons that I am firmly pro-choice now, a list that has grown over time, but the tipping point for me, back in college, was the bodily autonomy argument. You can't force a person to donate their organs or their blood or *any* part or use of their body, even to save another living breathing human, so you certainly can't force someone to risk their life and loan their uterus to a group of cells that *could* become a human later if left alone.

I read the sentence "Outlawing abortions means giving pregnant people fewer rights than a corpse," ten years ago and I've been loudly pro-choice ever since. I acquired more reasons as I became more educated, but that was what did it.

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#27

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) 1. a loosening of my harsh definition of what murder is, what a human person is, etc.
2. experiencing a saving of my own life through an abortion of my child I never knew about
3. the understanding that people unwanted by their mothers drag society down and commit crimes (Donohue–Levitt hypothesis)
4. the understanding that abortion is not something modern; abortion and infanticide are found throughout history
5. the recognition that self defense goes beyond stopping an immediate threat of death: having a productive life is so much more beneficial than just surviving

In summary, just basically growing up and looking at the issue with more nuance than just a black & white application of rules.

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Kathryn Baylis
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because, if you’re at all observant, the older you get, the less black and white the world becomes. You also realize it’s not even just gray, either. It’s a whole damn color wheel of context that needs to be taken into consideration before you can really understand it.

#28

Someone I love needed a late term abortion. Her baby had Potters Syndrome and was being crushed in utero. He was born alive with a very deformed skull due to pressure. She was called a murderer. A lot. Then I researched and learned WHY people abort.

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#29

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) The exceptions were too numerous and sometimes too obscure to be properly written into law, so the law shouldn't restrict it.

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Šimon Špaček
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, exceptions are something what should not be in the law, it should be judged by the tribe. Simple example, "thou shall not kill". Simple, easy to remember, easy to follow, right? What about self defense? Or defending tribe (country) from attack? Or protecting another person from getting injured? Or even worse, there is another army gathering and if we attack now, we will win, but if they gather they will probably win, shall we attack?... It is easy to use one simple line, but usually it doesn't work in life. Another example, "do not do stupid things". Sounds good, right? But your life will be boring and dull.

#30

The idea of being forced to conceive a terminally disabled child, that to me is absolutely horrifying and I don't believe anyone should be forced to go through that

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CelticElff
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm assuming you don't mean conceive, but rather "carry to full term".

#31

Having some concept that no one should be forced to tell someone what they can do with their own body, and their own medical decisions. If you have any concept of freedom, pro choice is an unavoidable concept . Also, pro choice is not synonymous with pro abortion.

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Kathryn Baylis
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your last line nailed the whole thing. Abortion is not the issue. Choice is. Don’t want an abortion? You can choose not to have one. In an untenable position that makes having a baby impossible, dangerous, a true burden? You can—-or at least used to be able to—-choose to have a safe abortion and live a more secure life afterward. Because YOU are already viable life, so MUST come FIRST in the equation!

#32

I've never been fire and brimstone pro-life but like most teenagers I have a vague idea that is was "wrong". Abortion was used as an insult and form of gossip at my school (omg Becca had FIVE abortions!) Usually by people with absolutely no critical thinking skills.

The older I got and the more life experiences I had, the more I realised how awful it would be to be brought into a world that didn't want you.
No friendly faces from the start.

These loads of loving couples waiting to adopt babies are fictional, and the child is going to be either bounced about in the care system, or raised by a mother who didn't want and cannot support the growing child.

Also if we have a boom of unwanted children, we need to invest a hell of a lot of money in foster care, residential homes, healthcare for children born addicted to drugs or alcohol problems, child mental health services, social services, prison services etc....

No one seems to care about the baby once it is born, in fact, it becomes nothing more than a nusience

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Deborah B
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All these "Don't abort, *we* will adopt your baby" couples, if presented with a child that had severe disabilities, would refuse to take it.

#33

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) That was a long, long time ago. There was a time when I was close to becoming an incel, thought that women have the better life and that I am screwed for being born as a guy. But I got smarter, until I was able to put myself in their shoes, realized that we are no different, and all expectations put on both sexes is just a social construct perpetuated by bitter geriatric men.

So it doesn't matter if you are man or woman, your body is your own, when it doesnt behave like expected, you go see a doctor - unwanted pregnancy is no different here. The real question is whether the state should support the people to get the abortion - in the UK, abortions are free, but I dont know if there is a time limit on them

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#34

I grew up religious, so of course I was fed the whole abortion is murdering babies and adoption is the more humane option spiel. Because of this, I claimed to be pro-life until sometime in college. It wasn't really one specific thing that changed my mind, but it was a combination of things that really started to rub me the wrong way.

The first actually happened while I was in high school. In my youth group, there were two brothers who were adopted by a church couple. They had been through the ringer in foster care since they were too young to even remember. When the older one was giving his "testimony," it planted the seeds of doubt in my mind that adoption is not always a humane option.

The second was during my political science class at university. We were talking about abortion and we had a guest speaker who talked about how she is personally pro-life, but politcally pro-choice. She brought up all the great points of how the religious community is just pro-birth, not pro-life. I started paying more attention in my religious circles to just how terribly people treated single mothers and even their children. You really want the woman to have this child and then you treat them both with contempt? Even though the child did nothing wrong in this instance?

The third, and I think this is what sealed the deal for me, was I saw research showing how banning abortions can actually lead to more abortions. It also showed that banning it doesn't stop abortions at all, but makes them way less safe. If people are going to do it, whether or not I agree with it, I'd like them to at least do it safely.

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#35

I was r@ped by my father. Got pregnant at 16 and then was told to get over it by my grandfather who also called me a whore. Definitely not pro life lol

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#36

I was very pro-life from a child until about halfway though college. When I learned that that the "facts" about abortion I had been told by my community and from high school teachers all lies. Just blatant indoctrination.

Then I learned about the history of abortion in America. Not from a class but because I happened across an old movie on cable TV from the 1950s. It was about a woman who got pregnant and it was going to ruin her career so she gave her self an abortion with a coat hangar. After seeing that and feeling really shocked I started reading up on abortion and roe vs wade.

I was pissed at how I was lied to, but also how the "pro-life" movement completely ignores the realty of abortion and pregnancy.

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#37

I was raised by a fundamentalist Christian mom, so as a teenager of course I was taught Abortion is murder. OMG, not the babies! As I grew older, I grew up. I am a Militant Athiest and see Religion as damaging in so many ways. Life is not black and white, there are many shades of grey. No one has the right to tell a Woman she has to carry a pregnancy. After having two kids myself and two miserable pregnancies I would never expect a Woman to be forced to go through that if she didn't want to for whatever reason. It blows my mind that other Women don't see it that way. It especially upsets me when men who have never been pregnant and have no concept at all are militatly pro life. Sorry but this is one of those stay in your lane situations. An abortion is a medical procedure and is no ones business but hers and her Physicians.

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#38

The fact that abortions really became a hot topic issue when the Republican party realized that they could use it to attack the rights of women. Abortion didn't use to be a problem until women were able to get access more freely and choose for themselves.

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#39

Coming to terms with the fact that I was in the Marines, an organization meant to do one thing on behalf of the President and the taxpayer: kill people. Our government spends astronomical amounts of money on just new and exciting ways to kill people. Then spends more to teach those ways to teenagers so that they can use them on other teenagers in poor countries. The cherry on this s**t Sunday is that the prolife crowd loves the arrangement.

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#40

I'm obviously not a fan of abortions, but the fact that men's bodies aren't legislated whatsoever made me realize it's really about repression of women.

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#41

I grew up and began to question why the government should be involved in my own personal decisions. If they really want to interfere in my life and health, how about fixing the lax food regulations so we don't have such an obesity problem? How about healthcare? Or making it more affordable to birth and raise a child? No? Then you don't get a say on my uterus.

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Florida, but without the beach
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If we’re going to force women to have babies they don’t want, we should also be forcing the fathers to be active and present in their children’s lives. Once this is being voted on, many minds will be changed

#42

I was pro-life when I was in high school because I was still going to a very small southern baptist church with my parents 3x per week. Then I graduated, went to college, and realized that there are so many completely valid reasons to have an abortion and I figured out that I really don’t care what anyone else does as long as it’s not hurting someone else. This changed a lot of my views.

Another thing that really solidified that I’m pro-choice was getting pregnant. It takes such a toll on your body and it’s not something that should be forced onto anyone. Then raising kids is also extremely difficult and I feel like if you’re forced to raise a kid that you didn’t want, you’re not going to raise a very good person.

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#43

I got pregnant as a teenager and it opened my eyes to how cruel the evangelical church is even though I was apart of their “family” my entire life.

After stepping away I reevaluated all my values and beliefs away from their indoctrination

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#44

I realised opposing vaccine mandates on the basis of bodily autonomy then believing that women should be incubators was hypocritical and realised defending the right to bodily autonomy includes supporting people making decisions I don't approve of.

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#45

When I got away from the rural bubble I was raised in and learned that the pro-choice argument was never really about when life begins. Combined with realizing that neither was the pro-life argument. Religious and conservative leaders get you so focused on that line, and convince you that nothing else matters, and in that framing the pro-life argument is the only one that makes sense.

The truth is when life begins doesn't matter. I mean, sure, pro-choice people on average are more inclined to dehumanize a fetus, and plenty of well meaning pro-lifers are genuinely concerned for the life and well-being of the fetuses, but that absurd trolly problem is far from the core belief of either side. The core belief of the pro-choice side is that you cannot *force* a woman to remain pregnant against her will. The core belief of the pro-life side is that pregnancy is the natural consequence of sex, and if you aren't prepared to be pregnant and carry a fetus to term, you shouldn't have sex, *and* that this needs to be regulated because loose women are out there getting pregnant all the time and using abortion to escape the consequences. That's why most of them still support the laundry list of exceptions, and don't see the hypocrisy when they or someone they care about needs one. In that more accurate framing, only the pro-choice argument makes any sense.

Since I became pro-choice I've had a lot of discussions on the subject, and without fail when you strip out all the bs and rationalizations it always comes back to the sex. If any pro-lifers can clearly articulate a pro-life argument that doesn't rely on "she chose to have sex" I'd be happy to change my mind again. I do still think abortion is tragic, but frankly the details of whether or not someone has consensual sex is none of mine or the government's business.

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#46

I heard a doctor on a radio show talking about the pro-life movement. He said the reason why it was so prolific was patriarchy. That comment shook me and pushed me to rethink my beliefs about abortion.

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#47

I read a book called “The Atonement Child” by Francine Rivers. It made me realize how nuanced this actually is and that it’s totally not black and white. Growing up, I thought “pro-choice” were just a bunch of people who wanted to go around having reckless sex and just kill babies… Instead, I realized there are so many legit reason someone may actually *need* and abortion. Also, the book made me realize that making abortion illegal doesn’t actually stop abortion from happening, it just stops *safe* abortion…. From there, I started learning more and more about the pro-life movement and realized how stupid judgmental it is and that was the last nail in the coffin. Like, I hate the whole idea that these people go around yelling against abortion and then as soon as the baby is born they not just don’t care, they actively prevent mothers and children from getting care and life they deserve,..

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#48

My pro life stance hinged on one concept I took from my (at the time) faith: life begins at conception. Sperm, ovum meet and *poof*, person.

After I left the church, I still was pro life for a while. A lot of the old arguments stuck with me. The biggest pivot came as I gained more women in my friend group and listened to their perspective.

I still have an opinion on the metaphysics of gestation and some thoughts on when an embryo goes from "mass of cells that has the potential to become a person" and "person". I still think that if we could pinpoint that moment with absolute certainty the debate would be over; no one wants to kill children.

I recognize that we don't know that point though. I recognize it's not my call for someone else. That is why I think that the decision should lie in the hands of the person most directly affected: the pregnant person, followed by those they choose to consult. That's it.

Anything else is demanding someone live their life conforming to my opinion and that's absurd.

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#49

Bodily autonomy.

I heard the arguments about when life begins and just simply disagreed. I heard about how some women can't support a child and said we should beef up the social safety nets. I heard about the strains on adoption and foster care and wanted to increase funding to those programs. I heard about the exceptions and thought "two wrongs don't make a right."

Then I heard the argument that we can't force a person to give their body to someone else. We can't force kidney transplants, blood transfusions, even postmortem organ donation. And we shouldn't be able to. So why should we be able force someone to incubate a life for 9 months?

Since then, I've stopped caring about when life "begins" (it's a philosophical question and also a moot point in this context) and abandoned that last, most problematic argument. Still think funding should be increased to social programs, but not as a "solution" to abortion (and imo, the "financial burdens" argument for legal abortions is still pretty weak at best and borderline supporting population control at worst).

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#50

I grew up. When I was younger I didn’t really look for the complexities in peoples situations, or WHY they made the decision to terminate. I always just thought “you’re taking away someone’s chance at life”. Then I learned that pregnancy is a traumatic experience, and the reality of many kids in the system, and more about finances. I started paying attention to how much baby items cost. I got a job and realized that a thousand dollars really isn’t all that much.

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#51

Oddly enough, a Catholic high school education.

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#52

Leaving may parents culty small town church. Once I started questions my religion I still didn't like abortion and to a degree i don't really think anyone LOVES it, right? It’s a freedom that women should have access to!

I used to have friends who are "abolishonists". Trying to get abortion abolished. One day I asked one of the women in their group if waving bloody signs in front of clinics actually worked. She said that once or twice it had. So I asked her what her community was doing to support those girls and she's like: well, we bought one of them some diapers?

It strikes me that a group hell bent on fighting tooth and nail to “end the genocide that is abortion” would also be fighting tooth and nail to make childbirth as attractive as possible to parents.

I hate to parrot a taking point, but it seems like prolifers only give a s**t about birth. Not the people being born.

But ultimately, I just don't think much good can come from forcing someone to have a baby they don't wanna have!

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#53

A realization that I’m cool with mercy killing and euthanasia. That people are a scourge, and unwanted people drain a lot of resources. That there isn’t enough love in the world for born people, so why gripe about killing unwanted unborn people.

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#54

When I heard about just how painful pregnancy is. When I was like a little kid I thought that abortion was this terrible thing but after hearing stories from mothers and their experiences in hospitals just giving birth I was horrified. Like you should not force that type of pain on a person. It's hard enough having that pain but I can't imagine going through that and not even wanting the child.

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#55

When I stopped subscribing to the Christian worldview, I found I could no longer do the needed mental gymnastics to justify being a hardline pro-lifer.

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#56

Being pregnant when I didn’t want to be.

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#57

My mum is absolutely against abortion. When I was 17 I had a big discussion with friends and later decided to write a scientific paper about IVF and stuff and somewhere in between I realised that a) abortions don't actually hurt anyone and b) either way it's none of my business (and not for me to judge) what other people do with their bodies.

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#58

I grew up in the foster care system. Once I developed critical thinking skills I realized that most of these kids are from households that probably should have (for the sake of the child) aborted them, and they ended up tormented by mental health issues and the fact that life had its foot on their neck from the get go. Not that some can’t grow up healthy and happy, I just know it’d be far less inundated a system if a choice was easily accessible

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#59

“Ex-Pro-Lifers, What Changed Your Mind On Abortions?” (30 Answers) Not me but my daughter. Pro life because "omg how could you hurt babies????"
But I am going to respect her positions so whatever
She got pregnant at 17 and gave birth before high school graduation. Going through a traumatic pregnancy, finishing high school and now starting college, have to navigate all the WIC stuff. Even with the whole familes support including her boyfriend, it would be an understatement to call the experience an eye opener.

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now take away that support system, and you have a better picture of the outcome of abolishing Roe v Wade for the majority of women. We don’t all have supportive families and partners who will stick around.

#60

A friend of mine convinced me by showing me that abortions reduces crime.

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#61

This sounds horrible, but the world is overpopulated as it is. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm under the impression that most people who have abortions are either not very educated or they are poor. I'm not trying to judge them on this, as it's likely a byproduct of their environment, right? Like if they grew up poor, maybe they didn't have access to birth control, etc.

That doesn't change the fact that a lot of children would be born that ultimately end up "burdening" (for lack of better term) society like their parents did.

The rest of my family are pretty strong Republicans and they always say things like "I'm tired of my tax dollars going to people on welfare" etc. Yet they're pro life. That made me think. Isn't it hypocritical to make people have children they can't afford, then complain about having to provide for them?

I can see how this point of view could come across as ignorant but it's where I stand right now. Pls reply if you want!

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Deborah B
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's more than "poor people are more likely to have abortions" it's "having a baby in your teens or early twenties forces people into poverty, and stops them escaping it".

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#62

Medicine. Studying medicine changed my views on a lot of things in life that was shaped by religion.

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#63

I realized that pro-choice =/= pro-abortion. I still think abortion is a moral hazard and should generally be avoided when possible. However, banning the choice means that women who have miscarriages are treated like potential criminals, that women who require abortion procedures to save the mother's life (sometimes when the pregnancy is not viable) can't get them... And on and on. Another powerful argument for me was comparing forbidding abortions to requiring someone to undergo surgery and donate an organ because it would save someone else's life. I did not feel remotely comfortable with that and had to ask myself why. Last, i started to realize that banning abortion wouldn't end abortion, it would end safe abortions for poor people.

I still want to limit abortions, so now I'm hugely in favor of readily available contraceptives and sex education... Since those actually do decrease abortions without the infringing on anyone's body autonomy.

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Deborah B
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In some cases the donor argurment would be "requiring someone to undergo surgery and donate an organ to save someone elses life even though they will incur a massive medical debt in the process, and their doctors are warning them that it would be extremely high risk with the chance of severe and lasting damage to their body if they survive."

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#64

I became more Faithful and less consumed by what a religious institution told me I should believe. One of the primary tenants of my faith is to not pass judgement on others. Who am I to judge or to tell anyone what they should or should not do with their lives and bodies. I would personally never chose to have an abortion, but I would also NEVER disparage someone for making that choice.

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#65

For me it started when I was able to shed my absurd assertions about the existence of god/gods.

About that same time I took my first college philosophy course and have been studying it ever since (about 4 decades now).

Over time I came to realize that abortion ( as with all other politicized topics) was almost never discussed by calmly rational agents, but rather was shouted about by impassioned folk who want to win the fight more than they want to know what is true.

It is almost impossible to find people who are able, or even willing, to discuss abortion calmly and rationally (I could us this thread as evidence).

Along the way I developed an understanding of philosophical ethics, devoid of appeals to deity (or any other authority), and it gradually became clear that my squeamishness about the idea of *an abortion* was irrelevant to the logical position that abortion is always an ethical choice.

Now I get to sit back and watch the partisan tribal bickering and enjoy my bourbon.

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#66

Critical thinking, reading experiences, and learning what kind of people supposed “pro-lifers” are.

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#67

Growing up. As a teen I was strictly against abortion. Now as i get older, although I still dont fully agree with it, what i do agree with is not telling others what to do with their bodies.

Its hard for me to have kids so as it is, chemo destroyed me, so I'd hope that my SO would never go that route, but outside of my life and relationship, i have no say whatsoever so i decided not to care about it anymore. Love your neighbor but leave them alone.

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#68

Give me liberty or give me death.

Liberty outclasses life and a women's liberty is to decide.

This applies to everything.

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#69

Prolife until maybe high school. I realized “why do I care about something that doesn’t affect me”

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#70

It’s not my job or responsibility to govern another person’s body. God gave us all free will. I advocate for that free will for everyone.

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#71

I was mostly neutral and didn't care either way. I think I've grown to realize a lot of s**t parents should abort instead of having the cycle continue. I'm pro-choice for pretty much that reason and others. Young and made a mistake, fine. On all precautionary medicine to prevent a kid, go ahead. If abortion is your preferred method of contraceptives, f**k you. If you have kids and are a pos raising more dumb f**k kids, f**k you also.

Pro-Choise is the only option I see.

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#72

I saw how miserable people with down syndrome are after 30 when their parents are old. I love it in Iceland where up to 10 people with down syndrome are being born yearly. And they are very happy as a society about it.

In general humanity reached a point where some minimal eugenics is necessary otherwise our genetics will become extremely unhealthy. People with multiple gene diseases can now breed and long time ago they would die as kids. It propagates.

For example insuline made number of people with diabetes much higher because genes responsible are being propagated. And also kids of people with diabetes have 3-5 higher chance to have any other gene diseases. I would just not have kids then.

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